Category: Opinionated

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People Are Divided on a Dad’s Decision to Pay His Son to Read Books

Parents who are readers (like me) use so many hours of our lives when our babies are young to read to them. We buy them books, do the voices, and pray that one day, they will love to read, too.

There are so many things vying for our kids’s attention these days, though, that sometimes, despite our best efforts, reading isn’t at the top of our kids’s list of priorities.

Father David Woodland thought he’d found the perfect solution by paying his son $1 for every book he reads. Dad gets his son reading, and so what if the kid thinks he’s making out big time?

Everyone’s happy.

Well, it turns out that after David’s tweet racked up half a million likes and caught like wildfire on Reddit, that’s not exactly true.

Some people think he’s wrong to pay his kid to read, and also brought up arguments like he should be reading to his child, as well (even though he never said he didn’t).

Others suggested he was teaching his son that he should get paid for the things he should do anyway.

There was apparently some study that showed if you pay kids to do something, they’ll stop doing it without the money.

And some suggested he try instilling “a love of reading” instead of a love of money.

There were people who defended the choice, suggesting that the money would get them started, and hopefully a love of the thing would follow.

Including some with fancy degrees.

And others who agree that one thing can easily lead to another, and not always in a bad way.

As for David, he never expected things to go viral, and he’s taking all of the unsolicited advice and feedback in stride.

He told Bored Panda that he thinks the $1 per book is a great investment, and that he’d be willing to pay him the same forever, if it keeps him reading.

“If the rate stays at only $1, I would fund it for life if it kept working! The benefits of reading a book can change people’s lives.”

Amen, sir, and keep up the good work.

Let’s all take a page from David’s book, too, and remember to take other people’s opinions on how we raise our kids with a grain of salt.

Easier said than done, but we can try!

The post People Are Divided on a Dad’s Decision to Pay His Son to Read Books appeared first on UberFacts.

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Is Your Kid Not Sleeping? Here Are Some Answers to Your Questions About Melatonin for Children

When you have kids, sleep is at a premium. So when you have a child that struggles to fall or stay asleep, the effects on the whole family can be disastrous.

I hated bedtime with my three year old. Loathed it. We followed all of the suggestions, moved bedtime around, had the same routine every night, no screens, screens, music, no music, nap, no nap – no matter what, it would take him upwards of an hour and half (sometimes longer) to fall asleep.

That meant no “me” time, and no alone time for my husband and me, because it was usually close to 10pm by the time we escaped his room (and usually later than that, because we would fall asleep, too).

Image Credit: Pexels

The real reason that I decided to ask my doctor about melatonin, though, was how frustrating it was for him. My baby was tired, exhausted some nights, and still he would toss and turn for hours before finally being able to close his eyes.

The doctor gave us the green light, and it’s been like living with a different kid. It doesn’t make him fall asleep, but it gets his body in a place where he feels ready to sleep.

But as a mother, yes, I have to wonder whether I made the decision for him, or for me.

More and more pediatricians, and subsequently, more and more parents, are turning to melatonin to help cure their kiddos sleep woes. In fact, in a study, a full half of parents have or are using it currently.

Is it safe, though?

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Zarbee's, Детские жевательные таблетки с мелатонином для улучшения сна, натуральный виноградный вкус? ?Сон вашего ребенка важен не только для него, но и для всей семьи!☝ Принимая 1 мг клинически изученного мелатонина в каждой таблетке от Zarbee's, вы можете помочь малышу заснуть, не формируя привыкания. ?Мелатонин? – это гормон сна, который помогает регулировать циклы сна и бодрствования. ✔Способствует спокойному сну? ✔Безопасен и эффективен для детей в возрасте от 3 лет?? ✔Рекомендовано педиатрами ❌Без лекарств и спирта ❌Не содержит красителей ❌Не содержит искусственных ароматизаторов ❌Не содержит глютен ▪ ??Доставка по Украине в течении 10-14 дней ⚪Если товара нет в наличии – оформляем предзаказ ?Для заказа: Direct, Viber, Telegram – +380972119681 #iHerb#айхерб#заказатьайхерб#доставкаайхерб#кривойрог#украина#здоровыйсон#мелатониндлядетей#витаминыдлядетей#витаминыизамерики#детскиймелатонин#сонребенка#здоровыймалыш#длязасыпания#длямалышей#длясна#гиперактивныйребенок#melatoninforkids#Iherbвитамины#Iherbзаказы#акцииiherb#Zarbee's#Children'sSleepFormulas

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That’s the million dollar question, and the hard truth is, we really don’t know. There have been no negative side effects found in studies on short term use, but there aren’t a lot of them, especially not focused on children. The concern seems to be more around sustained, long-term use, but only because there’s literally no data.

Melatonin isn’t considered a drug, since it’s a hormone present in everyone’s body. It’s officially labeled a dietary supplement, which means the FDA doesn’t have to approve or verify its ingredients, and they haven’t weighed in on its efficacy or potential harms, either.

The American Academy of Pediatrics and the National Institutes of Health do not recommend children taken it long term for that reason…but neither specifies what constitutes “long term.”

In a person without sleep issues, melatonin flows from your pineal gland and tells your body when to sleep and when to wake. In supplementing it, we’re telling our body it’s time to go to sleep. Everyone’s sleep-wake cycle is a bit different, everyone requires different amounts of sleep, and people have varying internal clocks – so it could be that your difficult sleeper is a natural night owl, or just doesn’t require as much sleep as the kid in the next room.

Image Credit: Pexels

Which, I think will be fine to manage once my child is old enough to be awake in the house on his own, and to be doing his own thing when he is. For now, when his schedule is woven so tightly with my own sanity, the melatonin stays.

If you’re considering giving it to your kiddo, you should know that almost every doctor out there will tell you its safe in the short term, and honestly, it might be in the long term, too. You’ll have to make that decision with your doctor, though, but listen – good sleep is good for the soul.

Yours and theirs, and so that’s something to consider, too.

The post Is Your Kid Not Sleeping? Here Are Some Answers to Your Questions About Melatonin for Children appeared first on UberFacts.

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“Safety First” to This Mom Means Strapping Her 7-Year-Old Into a Car Seat

Things have changed in the world of parenting since I was a kid.

There are all kinds of scientific research and evidence that support a different way of doing things – not spanking your kids, raising children with emotional intelligence, talking about things like sex and racial tensions at a young age, and yes, keeping children in car seats long past when they could reasonably be considered “babies.”

My own kids’ car seats allow them to face the rear of the car until they weigh 50lbs, and they can stay in the same 5-point harness seat, facing forward, until they weigh 65lbs.

Which is to say, they could outgrow elementary school before they outgrow the car seats they rode home in from the hospital. Crazy, right?

I’m pretty sure that I quit riding in a car seat when I was like, one.

Even though things are different now, and most parents want to do what will keep their kids the safest for the longest amount of time, kids themselves can still feel the peer pressure to graduate to a “big boy” seat before the weight limits expire.

Louise Thomsen took on the topic with a picture of her 7-year-old son in a car seat, shared on Facebook, with the following caption:

“Here is a photo of my 7 year old on a long road trip we took over the school holidays. He has been teased for being in a ‘baby seat’ from his friends at school this past term. 

No parent wants their child to experience ridicule, BUT the statistics speak for themselves regarding children & approved car seats…especially when they fall asleep in their seats. 

Take all the factors into consideration when making these choices. Don’t just follow the trend, follow the safest option to protect your family.”

Here is a photo of my 7 year old on a long road trip we took over the school holidays. He has been teased for being in a…

Posted by Paging Fun Mums on Friday, 17 January 2020

Those statistics she’s talking about do make quite the statement – the CDC estimates that children riding in a properly installed car seat are between 71%-82% less likely to be injured in a car accident than children riding just in a seat belt.

I mean. Wow.

The American Academy of Pediatrics updated their recommendations similarly in 2018, recommending that children stay rear-facing to at least 40 lbs, and in a 5-point harness until they weigh 65lbs (longer, if the seat’s guidelines allow for it).

Basically, we should all be keeping our kids in a 5-point harness – rear-facing as long as possible, then front-facing as long as possible – until we literally can’t anymore.

The people who replied on Thomsen’s post seem to agree, and maybe if every parent followed the guidelines and recommendations, kids wouldn’t be getting picked on for having responsible parents who care about their safety in an accident.

Just sayin’…

The post “Safety First” to This Mom Means Strapping Her 7-Year-Old Into a Car Seat appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Black Mom Is Pregnant for the Fifth Time and She’s Not Here for the Haters

There are families all over TV who are celebrated for having a ton of kids. There are teenagers on cable television having two and three children before they’re old enough to drink. Religions push people into not using birth control with the argument that humans are meant to populate the (overpopulated) earth.

But listen, when black or brown people hit the town with their broods that include more than two or three littles, the judgment is quick and harsh.

They couldn’t possibly afford all of those children. They couldn’t possibly be a nuclear family? They must be a drain on society!

No.

And Leslie Lewis, a black mother of four and curator of the popular Instagram account @TheLewis_Show, just couldn’t keep quiet when people began to make snotty comments on her pregnancy announcement for their latest addition.

Leslie is married to her husband, Joe, and together they have two sons, two daughters, a scruffy dog, and one on. the way. They are ridiculously cute, usually in adorable, matching outfits (even the dog!), and she has a strong following – but the haters were ready to pounce on her post about #5 joining the crew.

On February 3, she posted a picture of the family in matching denim and added this caption to address the rude, unnecessary, and unwanted feedback on her decision to grow her family.

View this post on Instagram

So I don’t usually publicly address the Negative Nancys and Pouty Pauls that find it necessary to judge my life choices. BUT a number of ppl have been commenting and even having the nerve to send me DM’s regarding my pregnancy…“I thought y’all was done?” “How can y’all afford 5?”Listen here! I am a married, ADULT! I have one baby daddy. (This post isn’t by any means intended to shame OR offend anyone whose situation is different) I don’t appreciate getting messages about birth control and questions like “How did this happen?” SEX…sex is how it happened got damnit. ? On a positive note, I feel super blessed that Joe and I work( very hard)…we are a parental UNIT, and we work hard to provide and raise good people. Lastly, when this baby comes ion want to hear who it looks like mmmmmK thanks, bye! ? One last thing ?Oreo is a GIRL ? #SorryNotSorry #BlameItOnTheHormones ??‍♀️#LeaveMeAloneShit #TheLewis’ #Denim #jeans? #HappyMonday #MeetTheLewisFamily #CoordiNatedFamily #SF #Influencers #growingandglowing✨ #KeepCalmWhileIBuildMyEmpire

A post shared by The Lewis Family™ (@thelewis_show) on

“So, I don’t usually publicly address the Negative Nancys and Pouty Pauls that find it necessary to judge my life choices. BUT a number of ppl have been commenting and even having the nerve to send me DMs regarding my pregnancy… ‘I thought y’all was done?’ ‘How can y’all afford 5?’

Listen here! I am a married ADULT! I have one baby daddy (This post isn’t by any means intended to shame OR  offend anyone whose situation is different). I don’t appreciate getting messages about birth control and questions like ‘How did this happen?’ SEX…Sex is how it happened.”

Her post has grabbed 65,000 likes and tons of comments in support of her decision to speak up, more than a few of whom mentioned the divide between how large white families and large families of color are treated.

View this post on Instagram

HAPPY MONDAY ??????????? I first off we want to send a huge Thank You! To all of you that responded to our Yahoo Article. We received so many positive responses and over 3k DM’s, I wish I could respond to all of you personally, but I just don’t have the capacity. Some of them were so touching and a lot of you mentioned, “It’s not about race”- and I’m realizing that some people truly believe that but, unfortunately, because of that pesky systemic racism and oppression in our society ITS ALWAYS ABOUT RACE. From the comments about the Duggar’s, John and Kate plus 8, and the Goslings etc… it had us thinking. Reality TV, these networks and production companies would feed off the drama of a single parent household, or Joe being married to 4 different women ( but he lightweight is with all these hair changes and mood swings ?) and had a bad past. Y’all want me to be fighting on TV so bad, but as a family we refuse to be portrayed in that light. Sell our soul to the devil for a contract. No ma’am or sir. We don’t want to be on TV that bad. We believe the right doors will open at the right time and you all will tune in to the love and light we will continue to portray! BRING BACK The images of BLACK FAMILIES ✊?? that was me yelling out loud my thoughts while typing this caption.. as I scrolled through our pics I realized, we are what ppl want to see but it’s too strong of an image to see on TV. We don’t have any real drama going on, damn it! Me:Joe let’s make some shit up to give the ppl what they want! Joe: F*** that! Me: My N!€€@ ✊? #TheLewisFamily #marriedwithchildren #Sf #Influencers #Real #BlackLove #TheCoordiNatedFamily #OldNavy #Blue #Yellow #HelloMonday #FashionFamily

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“Tell ’em sis! The Duggars captured 2.3M viewers. Now when brown and black families have large families, folks and their microaggressions assume we are exploiting the system,” said one person.

“This is definitely a ppl of color issue. No one questions white women when they have large families, hell it’s encouraged but ppl are always policing our brown bodies,” agreed another.

When Leslie spoke with Yahoo Lifestyle, she said that one woman’s comment in particular encouraged her to speak up.

“The last straw was when another woman felt the need to send me really hurtful messages assuming I must be on welfare and how I should be on birth control, etc.”

Leslie would like to use her platform and her influence to help normalize the idea that people of color, and working-class families across the board, are allowed to – and always have had – larger families.

“I have learned to use my platform to uplift families and women of color, and to use the criticism as fuel to meet and exceed my personal and family goals! Maybe one day we will get a reality show since there’s no families of color with multiple kids on TV that people can relate to.”

View this post on Instagram

“We see pictures, we say goals, Bish I’m who they trying to be! – ~Cardi!”(who else started head- boppin?! Lol ?) Real Talk .. Modeling your life after someone else’s will never work, especially when it comes to your relationship. I believe it’s a huge mistake to compare your partner to anyone else, that’s right ladies, not your brother, father, uncle, best friend…ANYONE. You have no idea what your favorite couples have gone through behind closed doors, what pain and dark moments they had to endure. Even the most beautiful “perfect” couples have made countless sacrifices and compromises to ensure the success of their marriages. We have been together for almost 2 decades, no one can imagine what Joe and I have been through that got us to this point in our relationship and it’s not over! It’s like your favorite songs, you play over and over but never realize the amount of studio time it took to polish it up. Love is so much more than a word, it is a multi-layered commitment to another person, I like to use Live Over Various Events,L.O.V.E…see what i did there? LOL. It’s a shitload of time, giving, FORgiving, learning, growing and patience. Joe can attest to my resilience, my support, my love, my cries, my laughs and my crazy psycho Cancer moments that he’s gotten used to…mostly. I have learned to get through his ignoring moments, being less affectionate than what I’m used to, leaving all the water on the bathroom sink and all the clothes on the side of the bed ? Send Help! This shit just didn’t happen over night, we are not a ‘one hit wonder’. We are the real thing, and after 18 years, we are still learning, evolving, and loving US. Every couple has to find their own groove and this is ours. #AnsweredPrayers #MyFamily #MeetTheLewis’ #HappyMonday #Message #BlackLove #CoordinatedFamily #BabyBumpin #Pink #Burgundy #Mauve Photo: @acktionemmages ?

A post shared by The Lewis Family™ (@thelewis_show) on

I don’t know about you, but I’d definitely be on board to watch these cuties (plus the little girl that’s coming soon!) run around being adorable and changing perceptions all over the world.

Do you think she was right to call out the haters? Why do you suppose people of color have to deal with more judgment surrounding a decision to have many kids? Let’s discuss in the comments!

Or, you know, we can also just talk about which of her family’s outfits are the best, but that road would be long and winding and never end, I fear!

The post A Black Mom Is Pregnant for the Fifth Time and She’s Not Here for the Haters appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Woman Got Feedback After Claiming She Was “Raised to Take Care of Her Husband”

Let’s just say up front that everyone’s relationship roles and dynamics are different, and if both partners are happy and fulfilled and it works for them, it’s no one’s business.

That said, once you put your business on Twitter and also use a somewhat judgy and sanctimonious tone that suggests your way is the right and good way and everyone else is dumb, well…expect feedback.

Twitter user Brylea Kay sent this tweet, claiming that she was raised to be an “old fashioned” wife who took care of her husband and made him dinner and cleaned the house, et al.

Let’s first point out that, due to her wording, we can assume dear Brylea has never been married (or added kids to the mix), so we will have to assume she’s like those people who have opinions on parenting before they attempt to tackle it themselves.

People had some thoughts.

Some excellent GIFS.

And just some plain hilarious responses to this dear heart thinking she knows anything about what it takes to stay happily married to another person who turns out to be way more annoying than you thought.

I mean, I kind of just want to give her a hug and tell her to get back to me in 15 years.

What do you think? Were people right? Piling on? Let’s talk about it in the comments!

The post A Woman Got Feedback After Claiming She Was “Raised to Take Care of Her Husband” appeared first on UberFacts.

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Here’s a Heartfelt Open Letter From a Mom Asking Her Husband for More Help

Motherhood is so hard. We carry these babies, give birth to them, and bring them home, an unimaginable love and sense of responsibility tight in our chests. We want to be the world for those babies. We want to be great wives. We want to maintain a career. We want clean houses and healthy dinners. We want to feel like the human being we used to be.

Emotions are tricky, and here’s the rub – we cannot do all of those things without help.

Gender roles are long established, and those ruts are hard to break out of. We watched our mothers maintain a house, a career, and be our primary caregiver while Dad loved us, and occasionally took the lead, but still had more of his own life. Part of us thought maybe things would be different in our own households, but the other part went along with more of the same, figuring if our mothers did it then so can we.

We shouldn’t have to, though, and that’s what mom blogger and author Celeste Erlach wrote in this raw open letter to her husband one night after bringing home their second child.

"Dear Husband,I. Need. More. Help.Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed…

Posted by Breastfeeding Mama Talk on Saturday, March 17, 2018

She shared it on Breastfeeding Mama Talk, and if you want to know how real it is, well…there are thousands of women who feel just like Celeste.

Dear Husband,

I. Need. More. Help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth I want to. No offense, but I’m not sure I want to know what a week’s worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I?

I don’t know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don’t remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I’m just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I’m going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I’m human, and I’m running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone’s lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he went potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it’s hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I’ve scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I’ve got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids’ naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you’re grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I’m at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities. As the mom, it’s assumed I’ll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you’re out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let’s face it: you need me, too.

Our husbands are good men. They help. They’re far more involved in their kids’ lives than our fathers were, and certainly more than our grandfathers.

Image Credit: Facebook

But it’s not enough.

We’re drowning, and asking for help is just one more thing we have to do that we feel like we shouldn’t, for one reason or another.

Image Credit: Facebook

We need men to step up.

Image Credit: Facebook

We need friends to tell us we’re not losers or failures and it’s okay to need help.

We need our mothers to remember that just because they did it, they weren’t thrilled with the status quo.

Image Credit: Facebook

Mothers are super women, but they don’t have super powers.

We need sleep. We need to recharge. We need our bodies to ourselves for just a few hours.

We need someone else to unload the dishwasher, or fold the laundry.

Image Credit: Facebook

That doesn’t make us losers.

It makes us human.

What do you think about this powerful topic? Let us know in the comments!

 

The post Here’s a Heartfelt Open Letter From a Mom Asking Her Husband for More Help appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Here’s a Heartfelt Open Letter From a Mom Asking Her Husband for More Help

Motherhood is so hard. We carry these babies, give birth to them, and bring them home, an unimaginable love and sense of responsibility tight in our chests. We want to be the world for those babies. We want to be great wives. We want to maintain a career. We want clean houses and healthy dinners. We want to feel like the human being we used to be.

Emotions are tricky, and here’s the rub – we cannot do all of those things without help.

Gender roles are long established, and those ruts are hard to break out of. We watched our mothers maintain a house, a career, and be our primary caregiver while Dad loved us, and occasionally took the lead, but still had more of his own life. Part of us thought maybe things would be different in our own households, but the other part went along with more of the same, figuring if our mothers did it then so can we.

We shouldn’t have to, though, and that’s what mom blogger and author Celeste Erlach wrote in this raw open letter to her husband one night after bringing home their second child.

"Dear Husband,I. Need. More. Help.Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed…

Posted by Breastfeeding Mama Talk on Saturday, March 17, 2018

She shared it on Breastfeeding Mama Talk, and if you want to know how real it is, well…there are thousands of women who feel just like Celeste.

Dear Husband,

I. Need. More. Help.

Last night was hard for you. I asked you to watch the baby so I could go to bed early. The baby was crying. Wailing, really. I could hear him from upstairs and my stomach knotted from the sound, wondering if I should come down there and relieve you or just shut the door so I could get some desperately needed sleep. I chose the latter.

You came into the room 20 minutes later, with the baby still frantically crying. You placed the baby in the bassinet and gently pushed the bassinet just a few inches closer to my side of the bed, a clear gesture that you were done watching him.

I wanted to scream at you. I wanted to launch an epic fight that very moment. I had been watching the baby and the toddler all damn day. I was going to be waking up with the baby to feed him all damn night. The least you could do is hold him for a couple of hours in the evening to I can attempt to sleep.

Just a few hours of precious sleep. Is that too much to ask?

I know we both watched our parents fulfill the typical mother-father roles growing up. Both our mothers were the primary caretakers and our fathers were relatively hands off. They were excellent dads, but they weren’t expected to spend a significant amount of time changing diapers, feeding, caring, and tending to the kids. Our mothers were the superwomen who maintained the family dynamics. Cooking, cleaning, and raising the children. Any help from dad was welcome, but unexpected.

I see us falling into these family dynamics more and more each day. My responsibility to feed the family, keep the house clean, and take care of the kids is assumed, even as I return to work. I blame myself for most of it too. I have set the precedent that I can do it. And in truth I want to. No offense, but I’m not sure I want to know what a week’s worth of dinner would look like with you in charge.

I also see my friends and other moms doing it all, and doing it well. I know you see it, too. If they can manage it, and if our mothers did it so well for us, why can’t I?

I don’t know.

Maybe our friends are playing the part in public and secretly struggling. Maybe our moms suffered in silence for years and now, thirty years later, they simply don’t remember how hard it really was. Or maybe, and this is something I berate myself over every single day, I’m just not as qualified for the job as everyone else. And as much as I cringe just thinking it, I’m going to say it: I need more help.

Part of me feels like a failure for even asking. I mean, you do help. You are an amazing father, and you do a great job with the kids. And besides, this should come easy to me, right? Motherly instincts, no?

But I’m human, and I’m running on five hours of sleep and tired as hell. I need you.

In the morning, I need you to get our toddler ready so I can care for the baby and make everyone’s lunches and drink a cup of coffee. And no, getting the toddler ready does not mean plopping him in front of the TV. It means making sure he went potty, giving him some breakfast, seeing if he wants water, and packing his bag for school.

At night, I need an hour to decompress in bed knowing our toddler is asleep in his room and the baby is in your care. I know it’s hard to listen to the baby cry. Believe me, I know. But if I can watch and pacify the baby for the majority of the day, you can do it for an hour or two at night. Please. I need you.

On weekends, I need more breaks. Times where I can get out of the house by myself and feel like an individual. Even if it’s just a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery store. And some days when I’ve scheduled swim class and play dates, and it seems like I’ve got it all under control, I need you to offer to lend me a hand. Or suggest I go lay down during the kids’ naptime. Or start putting away the dishes without me suggesting it. I need you.

Lastly, I need to hear you’re grateful for all I do. I want to know that you notice the laundry is done and a nice dinner has been prepared. I want to know you appreciate that I breastfeed at all hours and pump when I’m at work when it would be easier for me to formula feed. I hope you notice that I never ask you to stay home from your networking events and sport activities. As the mom, it’s assumed I’ll be home all the time and always available to care for the kids while you’re out and I feed that assumption by, well, being home all the time.

I know it’s not how our parents did it, and I hate even asking. I wish I could do it all and make it look effortless. And I wish I didn’t need kudos for doing things most people expect from a mom. But I’m waving a white flag and admitting I’m only human. I’m telling you how much I need you, and if I keep going at the pace I’ve been on, I will break. And that would hurt you, the kids, and our family.

Because, let’s face it: you need me, too.

Our husbands are good men. They help. They’re far more involved in their kids’ lives than our fathers were, and certainly more than our grandfathers.

Image Credit: Facebook

But it’s not enough.

We’re drowning, and asking for help is just one more thing we have to do that we feel like we shouldn’t, for one reason or another.

Image Credit: Facebook

We need men to step up.

Image Credit: Facebook

We need friends to tell us we’re not losers or failures and it’s okay to need help.

We need our mothers to remember that just because they did it, they weren’t thrilled with the status quo.

Image Credit: Facebook

Mothers are super women, but they don’t have super powers.

We need sleep. We need to recharge. We need our bodies to ourselves for just a few hours.

We need someone else to unload the dishwasher, or fold the laundry.

Image Credit: Facebook

That doesn’t make us losers.

It makes us human.

What do you think about this powerful topic? Let us know in the comments!

 

The post Here’s a Heartfelt Open Letter From a Mom Asking Her Husband for More Help appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Are Divided about Whether a Woman Should’ve Called Police After She Saw a Toddler Alone in a Car

The subreddit Am I The A**hole is a good place to go if you want to weigh in on various moral dilemmas or, alternatively, to feel better about yourself for not having to post on it.

This post, about a woman who saw a baby (toddler) sleeping in a car at a grocery store as the mom walked away, caused so much infighting and controversy that the moderators had to take it down. The tweet – and responses on Twitter – remain, though, and honestly, no one can agree.

The original poster (OP) saw a woman walking away from a car with a sleeping toddler in it, chased down the mother just in case she’d forgotten on accident, and was stunned to hear her say she was only going to be a minute.

OP argued that she shouldn’t leave the baby, even for a minute, but the mother dismissed her concerns as someone who couldn’t understand because she wasn’t yet a parent, and went inside anyway.

Image Credit: Twitter

Then, OP hemmed and hawed for a few seconds before calling 911. The police arrived just as the mother returned from the store – she was gone less than 10 minutes – and went into hysterics at the thought she might lose her baby.

Image Credit: Twitter

So, was she wrong to call the cops? Should she have ignored the situation? Watched the kid herself until the woman returned?

Twitter is split, honestly.

Some people thinking you never, ever leave a kid that young alone in the car.

And that makes sense, right?

Definitely NOT the asshole.

Others thought maybe the mother was right, and the OP just didn’t get it.

But are they stretching a bit?

I mean, should you ever just leave your kid unattended in public?

Most thought that her concern wasn’t misplaced…

…but calling the police and potentially upending an entire family was out of line.

She could have simply watched for 5-10 minutes and made sure the mother returned. No harm no foul.

I’m split, honestly – as a mother yes, I’ve been tempted to run in and grab ordered and paid for takeoff from a shelf and leave the kids belted and locked in the car, but I understand why someone would be concerned.

That said, the weather wasn’t hot, it wasn’t cold, and the mother said she’d be right back.

What do you think? Would you have waited? Told the mother you were going to call the cops? Done what OP did?

Tell us your reasons in the comments!

The post People Are Divided about Whether a Woman Should’ve Called Police After She Saw a Toddler Alone in a Car appeared first on UberFacts.

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Some Parents Are Annoyed by a Hospital Poster Shaming Them for Looking at Their Cell Phones

We all have to answer questions in this day and age about how much, how often, when and where we choose to pick up our phones. Sometimes we’re reading emails from work, or answering texts from friends or family or looking up a recipe for dinner, and other times we might be scrolling through Facebook or keeping up with the latest snark on the news on Twitter.

The truth is that your kids have no idea what the difference is – they see you staring at your phone and they know you’re not paying attention to them, full stop.

It’s complicated, and we all have to decide for ourselves what we want technology in our homes to look like.

The personal nature of those choices is probably why new parents want to snarl at a hospital poster suggesting they’re going to screw up their brand-new bundle by picking up their phones instead of staring lovingly into their sleeping (or screaming) faces.

Even worse – this was posted in a U.K. version of a NICU, meaning that the parents there spend long, stressful hours waiting for the day they can take their child home.

And, if they’re anything like me (who had a healthy, if pissy, newborn), most of the things they’re staring at on their device are answers to panicked questions about all things baby and motherhood.

The sign reads “Mummy and Daddy, Please look at ME when I am feeding. I am much more interesting than your phone!!”

Surely, the person who wrote it intended it as a reminder of the importance of bonding, but it definitely comes across as shaming in a place where added stress is the very last thing anyone needs.

During those long, late hours spent feeding, worrying, and just disconnected from the real world in general, our devices can be like a lifeline to other people – something not to be discounted, even if moderation is obviously key.

The Yeovil District Hospital responded to the outcry with a statement:

“These posters were created by our Special Care Baby Unit nurses following UNICEF baby-friendly accreditation training and have been in place for a few months. They are intended to be used only within the context of the unit, where we support mums of premature or very poorly babies in building a healthy connection.”

Twitter clapbacked at that as well…

Which is fine, but someone should definitely work on their wording. A simple statement about the importance of bonding with premature infants would have sufficed.

Postpartum is a hard enough time, and we’re already questioning literally everything we’re doing – the last thing new parents need is the hospital staff pouring on more of the same.

What do you think? Good reminder or should the hospital just mind their own business?

Let us know in the comments!

The post Some Parents Are Annoyed by a Hospital Poster Shaming Them for Looking at Their Cell Phones appeared first on UberFacts.