This Guy Shared a Hilarious ‘John Wick’ Script…Written by Bots

Comedy writer Keaton Patti must have a lot of spare time on his hands.

In the past, he forced a bot to watch over 1,000 hours of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and then had the bot write a new “Triple D” episode based on what it saw.

He also gave Olive Garden commercials the same treatment last year.

(Pro tip: That’s the place you bring your family when they’re in town from Italy, FYI.)

 

Well, Mr. Patti has struck again!

This time, Patti forced a bot to watch more than 1,000 hours of John Wick footage (I’m assuming just the two available films on an endless loop) and then a new, original screenplay emerged.

Let’s take a closer look at that first page of the screenplay.

Photo Credit: Twitter,KeatonPatti

Can you fire a horse like a gun? No. But John Wick can.

Photo Credit: Twitter,KeatonPatti

Looks like a pretty intense opening for a potential new John Wick film if you ask me.

Of course, he tweeted this out just in case. Hey, you never know, right?

As you can probably imagine, this new bot-written script was quite a hit on Twitter.

Because why would we not love things written by computers?

One thing’s for sure, robots will not be taking over the world anytime soon.

Truly epic! The man is a genius!

What would you like to see him force the bots to do next?

I’m thinking a reinterpretation of Road House

The post This Guy Shared a Hilarious ‘John Wick’ Script…Written by Bots appeared first on UberFacts.

This Fan’s Funny Photo with Jason Momoa Went Viral for Obvious Reasons

Between rock climbing, ax throwing (seriously!), working with his hands, being a great dad to his kids, and oh yeah, being a freakin’ Hollywood megastar, Jason Momoa easily one of the coolest people on the planet.

As such, any photo featuring him in it is likely to be pretty cool, but the photo you’re about to see is on another level!

Redditor u/twoforjoy was attending Denver Comic Con when she got a chance to take a photo with Momoa, which she shared online.

“I told my husband I wanted a picture alone with Jason Momoa,” she says, “but he wasn’t comfortable with that.”

This is the incredible result:

Photo Credit: Imgur

Epic!

It seems even Momoa loved the way it turned out:

Photo Credit: twoforjoy

It’s also possible that this was just part of the husband’s plan all along…

Photo Credit: twoforjoy

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15 Movie Buffs Reveal the Opening Scenes That Lured Them in Best

There’s a theory among writers that if you don’t hook someone by the end of the first page, you might never get another chance – because they’ll stop reading (or watching) and try something else.

According to these movie buffs, though, you’ll be hooked from the very first scene of these 15 movies.

#15. Just perfect.

Kill Bill vol 1. The music as well that went with it ‘bang bang ‘ by nancy sinatra is just perfect

#14. The fight at the rave.

The opening scene of Blade, with the fight at the rave.

#13. Iconic.

The Lion King.

#12. Deliver us.

The opening scene of The Prince of Egypt. “Deliver Us”

#11. The tension and terror.

Scream.

The tension and terror were built up perfectly and the eventual killing of Drew Barrymore’s character was shocking. Not just in its brutality (which was quite graphic for its time), but because such a major name was killed off that soon into a movie. The opening kill is a tried and true horror trope, but it had never been done before with such a big name so early in a film.

For the rest of the film, every time you saw a big name show up (Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtney Cox), you weren’t sure if they were going to make it to the end of the film or not.

#10. So eerie.

Jaws. So eerie. The bright moonlight shining down on the ocean and a swimming girl. And then the ocean is empty again.

#9. American Psycho.

.. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine.

I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

#8. The Last Alliance.

The Last Alliance of Elves and Men, from “Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring”.

#7. Shoot her!

Because I just saw it last night: Jurassic Park.

“SHOOT HER! SHOOOOOOT HER!”

#6. It set the mood.

A Clockwork Orange.

It set the mood for that entire movie.

#5. It just takes off.

The “Dawn of the Dead” remake was one of my favorite opening scenes. When the little neighbor girl comes in their bedroom and bites the husband, shit just takes off and it is an intense ride. Really got me into the movie.

#4. An overwhelmingly sad story.

It’s going to sound weird, but The Rescuers. I hadn’t seen that movie in about a decade-and-a-half when I picked up the Blu-Ray during a local sale. I… was also rather smashed when I was watching it. Anyway, I’m watching it after a few drinks when the opening comes on.

It’s almost like how, when you’re a kid and you don’t realize that you’ve heard what is an adult joke because you were too pure and innocent? Well… as an adult, it truly hits just how overwhelmingly sad the story is, especially since the opening song, “The Journey” is almost like a lament. This is a young child who was taken against her will, in a situation where she could most certainly die and a note in a bottle is honestly her only real chance of escape.

I admit, I definitely cried the next few times I watched that movie. The same for the scene after Medusa insults Penny, although that was more due to pure rage.

#3. Cool.

Hot Rod.

“Kevin, did you reinforce the takeoff ramp?”

“No, we didn’t have time.”

#2. Super intense.

28 Weeks Later has an amazing longer opening but it is super intense and really sets the tone for an average movie

#1. “As far back as I can remember…”

Goodfellas

“As far back as I could remember, I always wanted to be a gangster…”

You’ll have to give them all a try for yourself!

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Sylvester Stallone was not…

Sylvester Stallone was not the actor that the producers wanted to star in ‘Rocky’. With just $106 in his bank account, Stallone turned down a $300,000 offer — the equivalent of $1 million today — for the rights to ‘Rocky’ so he could star in the film himself.

J.K. Rowling Revealed the Hidden Meaning Behind the Hogwarts House Colors

If anything has become 100% clear in the decades following the publication of the Harry Potter books, it’s that author J.K. Rowling didn’t do anything by accident. Her website Pottermore is a testament to how many details are just there waiting to be discovered – outside the already-rich text – so it should come as no surprise for true Potterheads that the house colors were chosen for very specific reasons.

So why did the author choose blue (Ravenclaw), red (Gryffindor), green (Slytherin), and yellow (Hufflepuff) to color the fluttering house banners?

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Well, as she explained on Pottermore, it has to do with the elements.

“The four Hogwarts houses have a loose association with the four elements, and their colors were chosen accordingly.”

So Gryffindor, with its red and gold, is connected with fire while Slytherin’s greens and silvers represent a connection to water. Hufflepuff to earth (yellow and black), with Ravenclaws blues and bronzes connect it to the sky.

Fans, of course, have taken the symbolism even further, and you can find all sorts of expanded theories on mugglenet.com.  One suggested that the gold, silver, bronze represent the order of the points at the end of the first book, with Gryffindor winning the House Cup, Slytherin coming in second, Ravenclaw third. etc.

Another theory is that Hufflepuff’s association with the earth and plants could mean its home to the “stoners” of Hogwarts (which could also explain how they’re always so easy-going and friendly) and mean there’s a second reason the head of house teaches herbology.

Rowling hasn’t commented on anything above and beyond the connection to the elements, but at this point, Hogwarts and its mythology belong as much to popular culture as they do to her – so theorize away, Potterheads!

I’m right there with you.

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15 People Remember the Conversations They’ve Had with Famous People

Have you ever had a real conversation with a celebrity? I’m talking about a talk that, while brief, wasn’t just you bumping into them randomly on the street? Or just posing with them for a photo?

AskReddit users shared their celebrity stories and some of them might even make you jealous.

Do you have your own celebrity encounter story? Share it in the comments!

1. Dave Chappelle

“Dave Chappelle. I was working Night Audit(overnight) at a Mid Luxury hotel in Napa. He and 6-7 friends rode up on motorcycles at like 2am and asked to get rooms for 2 nights. Apparently, they were in a road trip to nowhere and would just stop each night where they stopped. They had a few people following them in a truck and trailer.

He is a pretty legit insomniac and would sit in the front steps for 5-6 hours each night on his phone smoking. They decided to extend and ended up staying a total of 6 nights. On night 2, I went out and asked for a light and we ended up chatting a few hours. It repeated for 3 nights and I got to hang out with him about 10 hours total. Smart, thoughtful, articulate, and genuine person. The humor is just him. I was actually blown away with how precise his natural whit and timing was.

Saw him at a show in SF last year and he recognized me. Shouted out from stage “Yo… I know you… You still working nights?”

Great human.”

2. Buzz

“Buzz Aldrin. Just my family and I got to spend a few days with him touring around the Kennedy Space Center. I was 12 and had no idea what kinds of questions to ask him. So all I could think of was “Were you scared during launch?” and, “What does Moon ground feel like?”

I got back in contact with him l a few years back when I called to notify him that my Dad had passed away. He said that he remembered my father and was proud that I followed in his footsteps by majoring in Aerospace Engineering for my Bachelor’s.”

3. Two comedy legends

“Jim Carrey and Robin Williams. They visited the St Jude Children’s Hospital in Memphis TN. They both were incredibly nice and hilarious. This small kid fell into the floor and was crying and kicking his legs so Jim Carrey (in a very expensive suit) dropped to the floor and did the same just to stop him from crying. Robin Williams wore the nose from Patch Adams and much more hairy than he looked in the movies.”

4. Crocodile Hunter

“Steve Irwin in an elevator when I was 11. He asked me where I was from and if there was any crocodiles in the pool and I told him I went to his zoo and how cool it was. He was exactly how you think he’d be, just a really nice guy and a great dude.”

5. Ripley!

“Sigourney Weaver, just after Aliens was released on VHS. A buddy of mine and I were riding up the gondola at the mountain where we were on the ski team, she was in the singles line, and we didn’t know who she was until the end of the ride up (~10 mins), when she said something, and he and I (both being about 12, so we had both obviously seen Aliens, as good children of the 80’s) were both like… “Ripley?”

She was kind enough to repeat “get away from her, you bitch!” for us.”

6. A nice guy

“Jason Mamoa. Bumped into him when I went rock climbing with my girlfriends. He liked my Batman shirt hahaha.”

7. Dolly

“Dolly Parton. My grandpa is good friends with her. She’s a peach.”

8. That is amazing

“Played a round of golf with Bill Murray, was awesome.”

9. Swayze

“Patrick Swayze! Dude was super nice!

I used to work at a small airport in Van Nuys, CA. Mr. Swayze and his wife owned an older King Air that they flew themselves. My very first day on the job, while I was standing on a ladder fueling his plane, Mr. Swayze was inspecting his plane before a flight. He found a small puddle of fluid (left behind by a previous aircraft) on the ground under one of his engines and dipped his middle finger in it, held it up to me and asked, “Hey what the fuck is this?”

He clarified that he was just joking when he saw me internally freaking out. He usually tipped really really well whenever I helped with his bags and pulled his truck around (especially when his goldendoodle clawed me in the face once) and I remember his wife coming to an older, unused hangar once to pull a litter of kittens out from under a car to take them to the vet.

This was all before he got his cancer diagnosis, and I left the job before he died. I do remember being legitimately sad for his wife when I read he had passed. The guy didn’t really take too much time to know me, but he was always very friendly, very polite, and made it a point to treat us like people. I met a handful of famous (and not famous, but connected and wealthy) people while I worked there – but he was the one I’ll always remember. Dude was awesome.”

10. The Boss

“Bruce Springsteen stayed at the hotel I used to work at in college and I got to carry the band’s guitars from the hotel to the stage which was cool( he was playing before a speech from President Obama).

When I was grabbing them from his room his wife was nagging him about his hair and he just laughed and came out in the hallway with me and chatted for a minute or so. Asked me if I was married(I wasn’t) and told me to expect the nagging if I were to get married.”

11. This is great

“Samuel L. Jackson. Even got to end the conversation on him calling me a motherfucker. I put that shit on my resume.

Was in an IHOP at like 2 am. Went to check out and the cashier was all smiles and anxiously said, “There’s a celebrity behind you.” Rolled my eyes and figured it was gonna be someone like Jimmy Fallon or Joe Rogan. Turn around and there in all his glory is Samuel L. Jackson. In a pink plaid golf outfit. Hat and all. His friend was in the same but it was baby blue. I was legit star struck, mouth agape.

SLJ proceeds to channel some Jules Winfield on me and my friend, “DAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. You two acting like I held you up at gunpoint or some shit. Tell me, do I……… intimidate you? ”

Without missing a beat, and the only time I’ll ever think of anything remotely this witty, I tell him, “We’re not intimidated by anyone that can get their ass kicked by Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall with a mop handle.”

SLJ is caught flat footed for a split second and starts laughing his ass off. We get to chill with him for a bit and chat him up. When he says he’s gotta bounce, I ask for a favor. “Now, I don’t do autographs,” he starts. “Ain’t no one gonna believe me with some napkin or something anyways. Could you call me a motherfucker? ”

He laughs uproariously and stone faces us mid laugh, “you’re a motherfucker.”

I’m a six foot three dude and I melted on the spot, shivers running up my spine.”

12. Spike

“I once shot a movie with Spike Lee. Very low budget, independent thing with a tiny crew and tinier cast. We were together everyday for a week but he never said a word to me beyond some notes. Anyway, on the last day of filming we were coming back from lunch and I was standing outside having a cigarette when he comes walking by.

He says something like “Ahh, so this is where the smokers all hang, huh?” and I just kind of laugh and say Yeah. He looks at my beat up sneakers and goes “What kind of shoes are those?” I tell him I don’t actually know, and he looks at me like I just took a dump on the sidewalk and says “You don’t know?” and I tell him I’d run a 5k three years earlier and had needed some running shoes, so I bought the cheapest ones.

This dude reaches into the cargo pocket of his pants and pulls out a fat envelope. He opens the envelope and I see that it’s full of Nike gift cards. Like, a hundred Nike gift cards. He pulls out two, hands them to me, and says “There’s two gift cards, $75 a piece. Get yourself some new Jordans” and walks away.”

13. Full Metal Jacket!

“R. Lee Ermey, The Gunny. Just an all-around down to earth badass dude. Met him at WWII Weekend here in PA years ago, along with my younger brother who got inspired to become an US Marine. It was a honor to meet him.”

14. Tom Hanks

“Tom Hanks. He was the host for the national christmas tree lighting, and I volunteer with the decorations every year. He was looking at some and talking to his wife about them. As I was facing away at first I just kept thinking that sounds like woody from Toy Story.

I turn around and low and behold it was. The nicest couple you could imagine, just pleasent conversation for a few minutes and they were called off to do something. Both pleased and disappointed I didn’t ask for a selfie, but I was geeking out nonetheless.”

15. Rock star

“Steven Tyler came into my car dealership. One of the managers came up to me and said, “I need you to help a VERY special client.” I joking asked who and said, “it isn’t another footballer player, is it?”

He didn’t think it was funny. Walk to where Steven was and my jaw dropped. Hard to maintain professionalism when you have music royalty in front of you. After he had left, one of my coworkers came up to me and said, “whoa! That was the dude from American idol!” I wanted to slap him.”

The post 15 People Remember the Conversations They’ve Had with Famous People appeared first on UberFacts.

A “Harry Potter” Beer Festival Might Be Coming to Your City

Have you been to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios in Florida? If so, then you know exactly how delicious butterbeer is in real life.

It’s like…cream soda but buttery and frothy and just an all-around delight. Get a load of this…

Adding alcohol seems like it would be the cherry on the butterbeer cake, and if you agree, you’re going to want to check out one of these Harry Potter inspired beer festivals when they wander close to your hometown.

Posted by Eventbrite for Organizers on Monday, May 20, 2019

The event is being organized by Rock Star Beer Festivals, and, according to the website, everyone who pays the toll will get access to samples of 20+ beers – including that adult butterbeer that is sure to knock your socks off.

Another option will be Snape’s Lair of Secret Cider Potions, which they claim is a cider, but I don’t know…Snape’s name is attached, so it could be polyjuice potion or something.

Make sure there aren’t any cats in the immediate area, is all I’m saying.

The venues will be “transformed into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter” for the event, with guests being transported to the Great Hall, Diagon Alley, and the Leaky Cauldron for the price of just $40 or $45 a ticket on Eventbrite.

You’ll also meet performers dressed as Hagrid and be able to dance the night away to the sweet sounds of the Sorceress Sisters and DJ Dumbledore, so it sounds like a magical event worthy of the Harry Potter name.

If you live in or near Fresno, CA (June 21), New Orleans (June 29), Philadelphia (July 13), or Boston (July 20), well…the rest of us are super jealous!

The post A “Harry Potter” Beer Festival Might Be Coming to Your City appeared first on UberFacts.

A “Harry Potter” Beer Festival Might Be Coming to Your City

Have you been to Harry Potter World at Universal Studios in Florida? If so, then you know exactly how delicious butterbeer is in real life.

It’s like…cream soda but buttery and frothy and just an all-around delight. Get a load of this…

Adding alcohol seems like it would be the cherry on the butterbeer cake, and if you agree, you’re going to want to check out one of these Harry Potter inspired beer festivals when they wander close to your hometown.

Posted by Eventbrite for Organizers on Monday, May 20, 2019

The event is being organized by Rock Star Beer Festivals, and, according to the website, everyone who pays the toll will get access to samples of 20+ beers – including that adult butterbeer that is sure to knock your socks off.

Another option will be Snape’s Lair of Secret Cider Potions, which they claim is a cider, but I don’t know…Snape’s name is attached, so it could be polyjuice potion or something.

Make sure there aren’t any cats in the immediate area, is all I’m saying.

The venues will be “transformed into the Wizarding World of Harry Potter” for the event, with guests being transported to the Great Hall, Diagon Alley, and the Leaky Cauldron for the price of just $40 or $45 a ticket on Eventbrite.

You’ll also meet performers dressed as Hagrid and be able to dance the night away to the sweet sounds of the Sorceress Sisters and DJ Dumbledore, so it sounds like a magical event worthy of the Harry Potter name.

If you live in or near Fresno, CA (June 21), New Orleans (June 29), Philadelphia (July 13), or Boston (July 20), well…the rest of us are super jealous!

The post A “Harry Potter” Beer Festival Might Be Coming to Your City appeared first on UberFacts.

Kids Cry After Theater Plays a Horror Film Instead of “Detective Pikachu”

Uh oh. This does not sound good.

It all started out simply enough.

A guy went to go see Detective Pikachu because it’s 2019 and we can watch what we want. We’re adults!

But then, the trailers weren’t exactly lining up with the adorable kids movie to follow…

Not at all..

No no no… this isn’t good…

And, guess what? Somebody seriously screwed up.

Because La Llorona is a legit scary horror film.

I mean, just look at this footage!

AND. IT. KEPT. PLAYING.

But somebody must have finally told somebody, because…

And all is right with the world.

Kind of.

Whew!

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10 Totally Awesome Facts About Keanu Reeves

Keanu Reeves has been in a lot of great movies over the years: Point Break, River’s EdgeSpeed, and Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure to name a few. But it seems he’s more popular than ever right now because of the huge success of the John Wick movies.

And now that there’s a new Bill and Ted movie slated for release in 2021, people are even more pumped on Keanu!

Here are 10 facts about the man, the myth, the legend.

1. Hockey player

Reeves grew up in Canada and was a goalie when he played ice hockey. He appeared as a goalie in the 1986 movie Youngblood and was even offered a tryout by the Windsor Spitfires of the Ontario Hockey League. Reeves decided to pursue acting instead.

2. International man

Reeves grew up in Canada but not many people know he was actually born in Beirut, Lebanon, in 1964. He also spent some of his early years in Australia and New York City before he ended up in Toronto.

3. Declined

Reeves was on board to make a sequel to the hit movie Speed until he read the script and saw how bad it was. He apparently turned down between $11 million and $12 million to return and make the sequel.

4. Other interests

Reeves played bass in a grunge band called Dogstar from 1991 until 2002. The band released two albums and one EP.

5. Odd jobs

Before he moved to Los Angeles at the age of 19, Reeves worked at a hockey rink and at an Italian food store in Canada.

6. Pay cuts

He’s taken major pay cuts over the years to work with legendary actors, including Al Pacino in The Devil’s Advocate and Gene Hackman in The Replacements.

7. Riding high

Reeves is a motorcycle enthusiast and he’s paid the price over the years. Various accidents have resulted in a ruptured spleen, a broken ankle, and lost teeth, among other injuries.

8. Bummin’ around

Even though he became a big star in the 1990s, Reeves didn’t buy a permanent place to live in Los Angeles until 2008. He lived in hotels and even in on-set trailers for a long time.

9. A team player

Reeves is known as a lovely, generous person and here’s at least some of the proof. He made a fortune acting in The Matrix films, but he gave away $75 million to the special effects and costume teams, and he bought the entire stunt team Harley Davidson motorcycles.

10. The meaning of the name

In case you didn’t know, Keanu means “cool breeze over the mountains” in Hawaiian. Seems like a fitting name for Mr. Reeves.

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