Tweets That Might Heal All Your Sadness…But Probably Not

Are you having a weird day? Yeah, aren’t we all. But don’t sweat it, because we’ve got funny tweets, and four out of five doctors who I’m imagining in my mind recommend funny tweets as a stress reliever, anti-depressant, mood stabilizer, and growth hormone. They are truly a panacea.

Enjoy these ten random Twitter funnies that will heal you of all your woes, maybe.

10. It’s nacho business

Now I want these more than life itself, thanks a lot.

Normalize fully-loaded nachos as a healthy breakfast option

— Robert Knop (@FatherWithTwins) July 30, 2020

9. Killing it

No innocent person runs that much.

My coworker just told me instead of coffee she runs a mile in the morning to wake up and not to be dramatic but I think she’s a serial killer

— 1984’s George Whorewell (@EwdatsGROSS) January 21, 2020

8. Lend a hand

Yeah man, I can dig it.

After the age of 30 you really only need two friends, one for your alibi and one to help you dig the hole

— wittyidiot (@stephenszczerba) January 23, 2020

7. Law and coffee orders

I’d be great at this job as long as we were guaranteed to catch the killer in 42 minutes or less.

Sometimes after watching SVU I’m like “wait I’d be an amazing detective” but then realized I’d just be walking the station with an iced coffee going “okay this is like legit crazy”

— Danny Murphy (@kashmeredanny) April 26, 2020

6. The Disney princess effect

Them trash bandits are at it again.

When it comes to gifts, I'm easy to buy for. I want what every woman wants: a domesticated raccoon that is willing to assist me with petty crimes.

— Roxi Horror (@roxiqt) November 8, 2019

5. Armed and dangerous

Why can’t I hold all this life?

YOU WERE ONLY BORN WITH 2 ARMS STOP TRYING TO HOLD IT ALL TOGETHER

drop some shit, have a cry, use both hands to give people the finger

— ~*Wellness Witchery*~ (@TheMandiEm) July 26, 2020

4. One track mind

Did you just pull up a pro/con list on your phone?

Me: Should we have macaroni salad or potato salad at the BBQ?

Husband: Can we talk about this when we’re not having sex?

— Jawbreaker (@sixfootcandy) July 3, 2019

3. A slice of life

“Have you seen our BLT? It was shaped like this.”

Meet Couples Who Stay Together Because They Need Help Holding an Invisible Sandwich pic.twitter.com/VrkoUOWGVb

— Born Miserable (@bornmiserable) August 4, 2017

2. Different time zone

I think it’s safe to say that my mind is more or less in a constant state of buffering.

sometimes i say “huh?” then answer the question before the person even repeats themselves. i’m not deaf, my brain just be laggin like a 2005 Dell desktop x

— levi jed murphy (@levijedmuxphy) August 31, 2019

1. Suspiciously tranquil

This tweet was written mid-2020, it can’t possibly be accurate.

When everything goes too well for 3 days in a row. pic.twitter.com/dU4BOcwmia

— (@BasitFrank) June 29, 2020

Ah, the miraculous power of the internet. If those tweets didn’t completely cure you of all your troubles, we’ll give you a full refund of what you paid for them, guaranteed.

If Twitter was limited to discussing one topic and one topic only, what would/should it be?

Tell us your opinion in the comments.

The post Tweets That Might Heal All Your Sadness…But Probably Not appeared first on UberFacts.

September 30, 2020

Classical Art Memes Everyone Can Enjoy

Hey, classical art isn’t just for the elite. Nor should it be reserved for museums and fancy homes. The best kind of art is accessible art.

And what’s more accessible than a meme?

You don’t need an art history degree to appreciate these 14 pieces of classical artwork, just a sense of humor!

1. To make a long story short…

…and then this man started painting my portrait.

Image Credit: electricmind

2. Welp.

At least she’ll never have to worry about STDs?

Image Credit: electricmind

3. “Pssst. Frank. Hey Frank…?”

“It’s ok everyone! He’s just super hungover.”

Image Credit: electricmind

4. I bet he has a great personality:

Or, you know…some other good quality…

Image Credit: electricmind

5. It was for the best:

She’s better off without him.

Image Credit: blackwolfrise

6. #YOLO

Especially if you’re THE EARTH.

Image Credit: renaissancerubbish

7. “Squirrel!”

At least he has a sheild?

Image Credit: u/29065035551704

8. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty…”

I genuinely want to know the actual context for this one.

Image Credit: u/Androman777

9. My old nemesis:

You’re late. Or am I early? I can never remember which way it goes.

Image Credit: u/joeychuckles

10. I got your nose!

Err, here, let me just…find some glue…

Image Credit: u/picatostas

11. At least He’s consistent:

Death actually looks pretty happy to be choosen!

Image Credit: electricmind

12. I knew it!

Excuse me while I set out some baskets…

Image Credit: electricmind

13. Hey now, let’s not be hasty…

You really want to walk around naked for the rest of your life?

Image Credit: electricmind

14. SIX. FEET. JUDAS.

It’s called social distancing for a reason.

Image Credit: blackwolfrise

This is the type of artwork I’d love to see on display. I feel like I really get what the artists were going for. So modern. So old. So…art.

Haha, just kidding! Which one of these artistic memes amused you the most? Let us know in the comments!

The post Classical Art Memes Everyone Can Enjoy appeared first on UberFacts.

September 15, 2020

Memes That Are on the Money About Life in 2020

The economy is all over the place and things are looking pretty sketchy right about now.

I’m no expert in these matters but I propose a solution: let’s turn to a meme-based economy. Like cryptocurrencies, except not like that at all, because I honestly don’t understand how those work.

What I’m saying is let’s start treating memes like money and it’ll probably go great! Even if it doesn’t, we’ll have all these memes to laugh at, which will distract us from how not-great everything went. You can’t lose.

To give you an idea of how this would go, I’ve gathered twelve completely random memes and assigned a currency conversion calculation to let you know what I think they’re worth.

12. Mind on my money

Meme value: $1.00

Via: someecards

11. Gettin’ chipped, gotta dip

Meme value: $4.79, the retail price of a family sized bag.

Via: someecards

10. Pupper slumber

Meme value: $4 and gentle pats on the head.

Via: someecards

9. All in the phrasing

Meme value: $2 and the wisdom to know who not to screw with.

Via: someecards

8. Killing it

Meme value: the college fund your parents didn’t end up having to spend on you.

Via: someecards

7. Die laughing

Meme value: your life.

Via: someecards

6. Pain by numbers

Meme value: the price of a set of permanent markers and even more permanent emotional scarring.

Via: someecards

5. Chill pills

Meme value: $50, or a $10 copay with insurance.

Via: someecards

4. I scream

Meme value: priceless.

Via: someecards

3. Phony phone time

Meme value: dog.

Via: someecards

2. Follow your memes

Meme value: an $8 take and bake pizza.

Via: someecards

1. The grudge

Meme value: a forest worth of burn books.

Via: someecards

Some critics have claimed that my system of memes as currency “makes no sense,” and “is wildly inconsistent.” But to them I say – that’s never stopped us before.

Do you think we should replace money with memes? Why or why not?

Tell us your scholarly opinion in the comments.

The post Memes That Are on the Money About Life in 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

September 15, 2020

10 Tweets to Improve Your Day

For a long time, tweets were limited to just 140 characters. Then in 2017, they decided to up the limit to 280.

Interestingly though, they found that in beta testing, most people still preferred to keep the messages shorter even with more real estate allowed. Seems that the entire appeal of Twitter is in the brevity, whether that’s in the service of a pithy social statement or just a dumb joke.

Here, briefly, are ten short tweets that are definitely dumb jokes.

10. Inside out

A modern rendition of the scream.

Me thanking the UPS guy from inside my apartment pic.twitter.com/t3IkCkylYp

— Luke Mones (@LukeMones) July 31, 2020

9. Knife to meet you

Yanno, I think I could take a stab at cooking too.

My family stopped complaining about dinner after my new knife set came in. I think it really improved my cooking. pic.twitter.com/lYJ0KsOKOD

— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) July 26, 2020

8. Sleep with me

That’s not your fellow, that’s your pillow.

You think you can make me happy?
Are you 8 hours of sleep?

— exhausted mom (@hardasamother) July 12, 2020

7. Time flies

Ah, Hollywood. Where 27 years olds are teenagers and 40 year olds are ancient.

can't believe that as a child Grease had me thinking that these guys were teenagers pic.twitter.com/SI0w9VNWYY

— nikki (@nicolawaite8) January 30, 2020

6. Speaking my language

It’s like they say, communication is key.

my ex was bilingual she spoke english and to other dudes

— mikey BADMON (@mikeythedisrupt) September 12, 2019

5. The best part of waking up

It’s a late start, but it’s still a start, I guess?

“Ahh, I showered, had coffee, brushed teeth, time to start my day” -me at 7:45pm

— Alyssa Limperis (@alyssalimp) July 20, 2020

4. Oh hi doggy

The dog will never say anything stressful or disappointing back.

I feel way more comfortable saying hi to a dog than saying hi to the person walking it

— Janet Forklift (@janetforklift) February 25, 2019

3. Shelf help

You don’t have to be well read to put this one together.

A book just fell on my head. I guess I only have my shelf to blame

— David Burton (@Phishtitz) October 31, 2009

2. Technically speaking

The best KIND of correct.

Technically, your wife is your ex-girlfriend

— Brandon Zielinski (@sotoledogrease) January 21, 2015

1. Terrible lizards

This tweet has absolutely made my day in ways I can’t even explain.

It's a good thing we named most of the dinosaurs like a hundred years ago when all we were into was mythology and speaking Latin, if they just learned about dinosaurs now and had to name 100s there'd be a Heckin Chonkosaurus and a Northern Thicc Scaleyboy

— ℳatt (@matttomic) December 3, 2019

In the spirit of what makes twitter great, we’ll keep it brief and end it there. Just ten little random messages tailor-made by strangers to make us giggle. Hope that short trip has brightened your day!

Who are your favorite people on Twitter right now?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 10 Tweets to Improve Your Day appeared first on UberFacts.

September 15, 2020

Relationship Memes That Give Us All Something to Aspire To

All of us are out here trying our best to form lasting and meaningful relationships. It’s not always easy, especially when we have this vision in our head of what everything is supposed to be, or supposed to feel like. That kind of idealization can get in the way sometimes. Other times, it can clarify what we want and what we need.

And then there are memes.

I don’t know if these relationship goal memes are helpful, hurtful, or just stupid, but they sure do give me something to aspire to.

10. Ride on

This is either adorable or deeply kinky or both.

Via: cheezburger

9. Serving looks

Find you a man who looks at you like Drake looks at everybody.

Via: cheezburger

8. Alienating love

Yeah I’m your soulmate, you’ve just got a weird soul.

Via: cheezburger

7. Love me through the phone

These iPhone sizes are getting out of hand.

Via: cheezburger

6. Monkey business

Why were you sleeping in confetti though?

Via: cheezburger

5. Lasagna love

Without you, it’s a constant case of the Mondays.

Via: cheezburger

4. Order up

Yeah I’ll have uuuuuhhhhhhhh fulfillment.

Via: cheezburger

3. Sleep with me

Say no more, I’ll bring my own pillow and everything.

Via: cheezburger

2. Street style

I think I’ll just park myself right here for a while.

Via: cheezburger

1. Fry do

I hear wedding bells and Taco Bells in equal measure.

Via: cheezburger

If I didn’t know what I wanted before, I certainly do now. And it’s fries. I want a bunch of fries.

What are your relationship goals?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Relationship Memes That Give Us All Something to Aspire To appeared first on UberFacts.

September 15, 2020

Cute Compliment Memes You Can Send To Your Special Someone

Valentine’s Day is far off, but that’s no excuse not to send Valentines to the people you love. Or at the very least a sort of off-brand version where you just text them cute meme compliments about how much you like their butt or whatever.

Any day of the year is the right day for those kinds of adorable shenanigans.

In that spirit, here are ten cute compliment memes for the special someone in your life.

10. Sweets for the sweet

You absolutely knock me out.

Via: cheezburger

9. Stark realities

I may not be a billionaire, but I’ll scare off danger with my mighty growls.

Via: cheezburger

8. Happy little me’s

Just take those feelings of loneliness and beat the devil out of ’em.

Via: cheezburger

7. Snack attack

How does this dog look so smooth and why can’t I deal with it?

Via: cheezburger

6. Crash into me

Gonna crush so hard they call me the super nova.

Via: cheezburger

5. Needed contributions

Together, we can reach these goals. Not me, us.

Via: cheezburger

4. Let’s get this bread

Garlic may not be easy on the breath but it’s still pretty great for the mouth.

Via: cheezburger

3. Lizard licks

When your man saves you fifteen percent or more on car insurance.

Via: cheezburger

2. Pretty potassium

“Why is any of this?” – dog, probably

Via: cheezburger

1. Reporting for booty

Your future looks very bright.

Via: cheezburger

If you want to brighten somebody’s day, just send them one of these. Or the whole list. You can’t lose, really.

What’s your favorite thing about being in love?

Share it in the comments.

The post Cute Compliment Memes You Can Send To Your Special Someone appeared first on UberFacts.

10. It’s nacho business

9. Killing it

8. Lend a hand

7. Law and coffee orders

6. The Disney princess effect

5. Armed and dangerous

4. One track mind

3. A slice of life

2. Different time zone

1. Suspiciously tranquil

1. To make a long story short…

2. Welp.

3. “Pssst. Frank. Hey Frank…?”

4. I bet he has a great personality:

5. It was for the best:

6. #YOLO

7. “Squirrel!”

8. “Here kitty, kitty, kitty…”

9. My old nemesis:

10. I got your nose!

11. At least He’s consistent:

12. I knew it!

13. Hey now, let’s not be hasty…

14. SIX. FEET. JUDAS.

1. They’re always right behind you!

2. Advil is now holding you up.

3. Not the same anymore…

4. I’m a youngster now!

5. I can’t see anything!

6. Where are the prunes…?

7. Does this look familiar?

8. Not another one!

9. What does this mean?

10. Isn’t this fun?

11. Keep it coming.

12. That’s life!

13. This is now reality for all of us.

1. You’re gonna need it!

2. A free microwave!

3. Yeah, that was nice.

4. Let’s end this.

5. I’m lost and confused.

6. I feel this one.

7. What am I doing here?

8. Let’s make it 5:15.

9. Just can’t do it today.

10. That was a huge LIE.

11. Oooooh, that’s good.

12. I don’t know how!

1. Why did you do that?

2. It looks very relaxing.

3. Oh, good, it’s still there.

4. This is epic.

5. Guy Fieri is depressed.

6. It might be a trap.

7. Hey, look at that!

8. Down to one cat.

9. This is so NOT COOL.

10. Don’t look at that!

11. Very, very true.

12. This bunny knows what’s really up.

13. Hahahaha. Wow.

1. This is classy.

2. Run for it!

3. Don’t you ever take a break?

4. Hmmmm…okay…

5. I have a great idea!

6. Why God?

7. Eating healthy!

8. How much longer is this story?

9. Came back to bite you.

10. Deeeeep thoughts.

11. All coming at you at once.

12. He’s clearly an elite athlete.

12. Mind on my money

11. Gettin’ chipped, gotta dip

10. Pupper slumber

9. All in the phrasing

8. Killing it

7. Die laughing