People Share the Most Awkward Moments They’ve Witnessed at Funerals

Suffice to say, most people struggle with knowing how to act and what to say to the friends and family who have just lost someone dear at funerals. That said, you can probably cross these 15 behaviors straight off your list of possible responses.

#15. Check with your lawyer.

“I witnessed the estranged drunk and druggie daughter of a family friend come screaming into the visitation looking for her brothers because she had found out she was never written into the will. It was a hell of a scene.

::EDITS:: I had to actually ask because people brought up good points.

This was in Missouri, Missouri *is* an affirmative disinheriting state. The will according to brother #1 said she was actively excluded from the official will and entitled to no portion of the estate, named her ex husband a portion of the home sale (Brother #2 bought his father out and kept it), and the remaining estate to both of her sons. The daughter was allowed personal effects (hence the police escort when getting them, probably to ensure she didn’t try and swipe anything else.). His mother had hand written an unofficial one to be read to her children.

Also: Ash had every chance to get clean between 16/18 and 27. Both parents were more than willing and able to pay for treatment. She actively chose not to, as well as actively chose not to seek treatment for whatever was going on in her life that caused her to turn to drugs as a way to cope. She wasn’t even going to come to the funeral until she checked with the lawyer *the day of* and flipped shit.”

#14. Pop pop would have approved.

“We had a snowball fight outside the parlor of my pop pops funeral…

Pop pop would have approved. The non-family mourners seemed horrified.”

#13. Trying to “quietly” open a can.

Someone trying to “quietly” open a can while they were doing the closing prayer.

EDIT: Thank you kind people for the gold and silver!

#12. It’s the little things.

“Maybe isn’t as over the top as most of these comments, but I’m one of the Marines that has to go present the flag to the next of kin when a service member dies. It’s usually old Vietnam and Korea Vets, but sometimes it’s a desert storm or recent war vet and the mother is there receiving the flag instead of a son or daughter. Point is I’ve probably been to 45 funerals in the past year.

It’s striking how often someone’s phone goes off during the service. It seems nearly every other or every third service someones ring tone start playing. There’s been a few times where someone will get up from their seat and answer the phone to.”

#11. A legally blind woman trying to physically fight.

“Picture if you will, two elderly women in a funeral squaring up as people are still crying from the ceremony.

At the lunch after my grandpa’s funeral, his daughter from a previous marriage “Dee” who no one had seen in years showed up. Dee had been writing bad checks all the way to the state prison and had definitely had some unresolved beef with my family when she got out. The last time my mom saw her was when was 11 and Dee left her infant daughter for my mom to babysit and never came back, Fast forward to the funeral, Dee is acting like it’s a family reunion but no one is having it since she’s basically screwed everyone in the room in one way or another. My grandpa’s last girlfriend, a legally blind woman tried to physically fight her until others stepped in.

Edit: gave my crazy half aunt a pseudonym for clarity

Edit 2: the baby left with my mom at age 11 was not me, but that would be an amazing plot twist! Dee had said she was just having a night out and actually decided to run off to San Francisco (this was the early 70s) and left her baby. When Dee didn’t come back, my mom called her mom, got ahold of a relative that took care of the baby until Dee could be reached. Sorry I don’t have a lot of details after that but the baby grew up and she actually arrived at the funeral with Dee and I hear the apple didn’t fall far from the tree,

Edit 3: I had forgotten this part somehow. After the funeral, Dee tried to steal the car willed to grandpa’s blind boo but my family thought ahead and a couple of my uncles waited around the house until Dee came for the car, they came outside and apparently she was scared off. Blind boo got the car in the end and wrecked it immediately. I can’t make this shit up.”

#10. Putting on a show.

“The mother of the deceased putting on a (terribly acted and meth-fueled) show about how much she loved and missed her daughter. Shortly thereafter she was convicted of the daughter’s murder.”

#9. Who does that at a funeral?

“A relative of my husband died.

There was a gathering at her house after the funeral, hosted by her husband. It was mostly family of my husband, but there were a few friends. There was catered food and drink and people were just general socializing and telling nice stories about the deceased.

About two hours in, a man and woman in their mid-20’s show up. They are acquaintances of the widower. They walk around the house a bit, grab a drink and then disappear.

I was asked to get some more drinks from the garage, which was off the kitchen. I opened the door and stepped into the garage.

There was the young couple, leaning against a car and engaging is some pretty vigorous sexual relations.

Another family member who was standing in the kitchen saw what I saw. I backed out of the garage because I was fairly embarrassed. I mean, who does that at a funeral?

I guess the other relative told the widower because the next thing I know there is shouting from the garage and the widower is telling these two people in no uncertain terms that they needed to leave.

Apparently, not only were they having sex in the garage, but they were doing lines of coke off the hood of the car.

Only a few people who were at the gathering found out what happened, thank goodness.”

#8. Spilled a lot of alcohol in the casket.

“At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt whiskey. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn’t stop and spilled a lot of the alcohol in the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking – for everyone.”

#7. Drama queen antics.

“My cousin’s funeral – he was 27 years old and killed in a single car crash after he hit a slippery patch on the road and smashed into a concrete wall.

At his funeral, all of his brothers, sisters, and parents sat on the front row at his graveside service. Then, lo and behold, my cousin’s ex-girlfriend of over a year shows up and immediately inserts herself on to the front row next to his sisters. And proceeds to scream cry, scream wail, and throw herself on the ground periodically throughout the service. All of the family just gave her awkward stares, with no one wanted to address her inappropriate behavior. I had never seen that type of attention demanding drama queen antics before…or since…

**EDIT: just wanted to throw this in ~ this was a funeral with military honors (Air Force), and they did the gun salute at the gravesite. I don’t remember how many times they fire, but at each gunshot, she would literally shriek and collapse into the arms of either of the sisters standing next to her. I do recall at the very end, the youngest sister was sick of that shit and just let her fall on the ground. And it was raining heavily and rather muddy.”

#6. Giggles throughout.

“Only somewhat inappropriate, but certainly the funniest thing…

It was a funeral for an uncle I was very distantly related to, and (this is happening in Greece, in the summer), the church is very full and incredibly hot, you can smell the sweat, there’s incense, the air isn’t circulating, and the priest is just going on and on – I don’t think I can describe how grim the situation was. Not totally unexpectedly therefore, just as the priest is getting to something particularly emotional, a man, an old colleague standing near the back, faints – he’s completely out. Now, this guy was very tall and rather broad, so not only was it a miracle that he didn’t take out the two tiny old ladies right in front of him, he was also really difficult to carry outside to get some air!

Somebody has the brilliant idea that the pallbearers (those people who carry the casket) should carry him, since they’ve practiced it and are reasonably strong. So everybody squeezes a bit tighter (nobody wants to leave the church, things just got interesting) to let them through. They pick him up, three on one side and three on the other, i.e. more or less as they would the casket, and start carrying him towards the door. Suddenly, this guy wakes up, turns his head several times, grasps what’s going on and who’s carrying him faster than anybody can respond, and immediately starts yelling “I’M ALIVE! I’M ALIVE! I’M ALIVEEEEEE!” At which point, one of the pallbearers laughs so hard that he drops what was thankfully a leg, and the others struggle to put him down in what is now a church absolutely exploding with laughter. The whole situation went on for a good fifteen minutes in which this guy walked outside and the priest tried to resume the service, but there absolutely continued to be giggles throughout – I, being a teenager at the time, also couldn’t possibly hold it back every time I thought of this guy yelling he’s alive!

Nobody was even particularly upset because the uncle we were burying was always laughing and joking around, so it somehow felt appropriate that we had a great laugh at his funeral.

edit: My first award! Thanks so much, glad to put some laughter into this thread :)”

#5. Misplaced him?!

“The funeral home putting a random guy in my grandfathers casket, suit, glasses, and wedding band…while then admitting that they had misplaced my grandfather was fairly inappropriate for a funeral.”

#4. An absolute scene.

“A narcisstic family member arrived late (after everyone else was at the graveside for the burial, and probably lurking behind a tomb to pick the perfect time after the priest had just started talking), wearing an enormous hat and sunglasses and low cut gown like she was attending the Golden Globes red carpet or something, and loudly making an absolute scene of how devasted she was, daaaaaarlings and just generally making it all about her.”

#3. Everyone was grabbing things.

“When my dads mom passed away, there were a lot of people there, he comes from a family of 11, (10 now as his sister passed away a while ago), so there were a lot of nieces, nephews and cousins. It was an open casket, I was around 12-13, but everyone was grabbing things from her/off her from the casket, all the aunts grabbing things for their kids who don’t even know her/remember who she is/way too young. The ONLY thing my dad has a keepsake of his mother is a little rose pin that she wore in the home she was in before she passed. It’s unfortunate and makes me feel very sad for my dad.”

#2. Time to shine.

“Oh fuck. My time to shine. Former mortuary industry worker.

The worst is hard to call because I’ve seen a lot. Some honourable mentions:

-A rando walking on off the street and proceeding to help herself to coffee and ODing in our bathroom. Didn’t die. Did get narcan’d.

-A couple fooling around in the urn/casket showroom during the viewing.

-An angry old woman storming out of the bathroom with a fistful of tampons, screaming about how inappropriate we were for keeping them in there, because “THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!!” She threw them at the funeral director’s face. They were kept in a cabinet, in a small basket, well hidden from public view. She was definitely rifiling around to have found them. We were no longer allowed to keep our sanitary products in the restrooms after this.

-A grief stricken mother tipping her son’s casket while wailing and trying to climb inside. Less inappropriate than it was terribly sad.

-Caught a junkie relative digging deep into the pockets of the deceased looking for, the family and is assumed, money.

-A woman pulling down her child’s pants and letting it shit in a potted plant.

-The funeral home owner’s horrible dog sashaying up to the front and taking a giant liquid shit in front of the casket and horrified guests in the middle of the service.

-The same dog biting someone at another service.

-Tons of brawls. Lots of drinking. Biker funerals were INSANE. The women were meaner than hell and fighting one another constantly. The dudes were awesome though. Super respectful, cleaned the place up perfectly, and even hauled their trash away. Most of which was bags of beer cans and liquor bottles. I loved biker funerals.

I have some, SO many. But I’ll stop here.”

#1. Poo Poopy Doo.

Not super inappropriate, but my grandfather was always a trickster. He had a great sense of humor. He had this little song he would sing to me, my siblings, and my little cousins where he would just repeat the words “poo poopy doo” over and over. At his funeral, my aunt was telling stories about him and in the middle of her telling a story, my 6 year old cousin screamed “POO POOPY DOO” in front of 50 people. Needless to say it lightened the mood a little bit and made everyone a little happier remembering him in a good way.

Edit: for people asking, it’s not the Betty Boop song

Seriously, what is wrong with people?

The post People Share the Most Awkward Moments They’ve Witnessed at Funerals appeared first on UberFacts.

December 21, 2018

12+ People Reveal Shocking Truths They Learned About a Loved One After Their Death

Losing a loved one is always terrible, but it’s even worse still when their passing starts to reveal some unsettling truths about their life. Learning something unexpected after a loved one is gones can add a whole other level to unpack before you’re able to move on.

#1. It was a match.

“We very recently found out via ancestry.com that my grandfather had an illegitimate child that was born the year he married my grandmother. I have a half-aunt, blood test confirmed.

She’s 50, and only knew who her father could be (my grandpa) because her mother told her what his name possibly was; went looking, and she eventually found us. My mother sent her DNA test in to confirm, and it was a match.

Edit: he passed away 19 years ago, after a car accident.”

#2. He got away with it.

“After his death I found out my Biological father sent a bomb to his ex-wife’s work. My mom was pregnant with my baby sister at the time. Luckily ex-wife had some weird feeling and reported the package. A bomb squad was able to do a controlled detonation.

He got away with it.

This is what I know. Remember I was a very small child so all my info is second hand.

From what I’ve heard there were no prints, no unique parts, nothing really all that special about what was recovered from the bomb after detonation. The only sort of tie was a portion of the label which was apparently a really odd/specific size and manufacturer. The only local/semi local places that purchased them were a place he volunteered for and some random law office or similar. They got the ex to tip him off that there was a lead on the labels and they were trying to find places that kept them. Then they set up a camera in the supply closet to see if they could catch him destroying evidence. Apparently he went in, reached for them, dropped his hand, grabbed a pen or something instead, smiled to himself and walked out. The place was very easily accessed by a large and varied group of people from around the city.

I have no fucking clue how was able to get off Scott free. But my mom said the police and FBI never came to the house again. It seems bizarre that when I was 3 years old the FBI was at my house for a bombing case while I probably played with my cabbage patch kid and my my little ponies.

When I cleaned out his house a couple decades later I found a wooden cigar box hidden in a closet full of wires, very small pliers and such. I thought it was really weird. About a week later I found out about the bombing.

Again I’m not 100% on all the details. I’ve heard all this info from my half brother, his mom the ex, and my mom. It was so long ago and before internet news was much of a thing. If really at all a thing in our town. I would dig up more but I really think the fuck face deserves as little thought as possible.”

#3. He died saving people.

“My dad was an Air Force pilot who was killed in a crash during a plane malfunction. I grew up thinking he couldn’t do anything and couldn’t land and that was it. 20 years after he died, I found out he had the choice between jettisoning to safety and risking the plane landing on the base and killing people or steering the plane as far away from people as he could and going down with it. I hate that I grew up without a dad but I’m glad he at least died saving people.”

#4. Even his wife had no idea.

“My mom’s step-grandpa told everyone he was an electrician and that he was always being called out of town to do various repair jobs.

After he died, the family received a letter from the president of the United States, revealing that he was actually a demolitions expert and worked in some sort of special ops bomb squad for the military. Even his wife had no idea.”

#5. Huge shock to everyone.

“My grandpa was a CIA operative during the cold war whos job it was to intercept Russian transmissions. Nobody except my grandma knew and she never told a soul. When he died, we found all his documents and she finally had to tell us. Huge shock to everyone.”

#6. It was really sweet.

“When my grandma died, a lot of homeless people showed up to her funeral. Turns out she was or had fed/helped them. They were crying so much, it was really sweet.”

#7. I’m glad.

“I had an aunt who was severely disabled most of her life and confined to a wheelchair. I was surprised to find out after she died she had a lover most of her life with similar disabilities who passed away shortly before her. I’m glad she had someone in her life like that.”

#8. One of her greatest moments in life.

“A few years after my great aunt passed away, we found out that she had a daughter no one in our family knew about. The daughter, who I’ll call M, had been put up for adoption when my aunt was very young.

M had been searching for her missing side of the family since she was young, and was in her fifties when she finally found us. Unfortunately, she never got to meet her biological mother, but she and her daughters couldn’t be happier to have found us, and we have welcomed them in with open arms.

My family is very musically inclined and several of us play(ed) instruments, my great aunt included. M’s daughter is very musically talented and always says that she never knew where she got it from until she met us. Her daughter told us that learning there was this whole side of her family who is just like her was one of her greatest moments in life.

M acts and talks exactly like my aunt did, always saying quirky stuff and being very animated, which fascinates me because she never was able to grow up and live with my aunt. My family is very close knit, and it hit really hard when my aunt passed away, so finding this woman who is my aunt made over has been such a blessing.

Sorry for the long story, I just love telling it.”

#9. Money makes people do horrible things.

“My Great Uncle raised my mother on the family farm, He wrote the will so that the farm would be in a trust for my mother, and if it were sold the money would held in an account with the interest going to my grandmother until she died, then my mother could do as she pleased with it.

Years go by and the area undergoes massive expansion and housing and property is at a premium. He turned down multiple multi-million dollar offers because he wanted to die there and told the developers to come back after he was gone. He passes away, then my grandparents contest the will and have it changed to become their property.

They get in touch with one of the developers and start trying to sell, in the middle they declare bankruptcy and take the first offer…..$250000 instead of holding out for the big numbers. Best part is they go and buy a new house and pay cash, then promptly lose it a few years later for not paying taxes.

So in closing I got to witness my family get ripped apart, my families property that had been in the family for since the early 1800s get sold for a song and to top it off it all got pissed away for stupidity.

TLDR: Money makes people do horrible things.”

#10. To everyone’s amazement.

“An elderly man at church lived alone (a widower) and was thought to be quite poor.

Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, parishioners would bring him food baskets and practical things he could use for daily living.

To everyone’s amazement, when he died, he left the church just under $2 million with a letter expressing his gratitude for the years of care the church had shown him.”

#11. He had planned his suicide for years.

“After my brother’s suicide, I pieced together that he had planned his suicide for years and used this long period of time to set my mother up to have a mental break down.

He was a junior high teacher and also intentionally messed with his students by claiming that he knew his date of death. He gave them hints (which of course came true) and his death fucked them up too.”

#12. I have no idea.

“I learnt 2 hours before my partner committed suicide that almost everything he ever told me was a lie.

The hours after his death I learnt that myself and our daughter were actually his second family. I had been with him for 13 years. He had been with his wife and sons for almost 30 years.

I have no idea how it was possible that he kept 2 completely separate lives going for so long.”

#13. She didn’t know what to do.

“That my great aunt had a baby in the backyard and buried it. This was in the 40’s, she was a teenager and she became pregnant due to rape and she didn’t know what to do.

Edit: To answer the most asked question, nobody knows if the baby was alive when it was born but if it was, she most likely smothered it to stop its cries and then buried it.”

#14. Until I looked…

“I had a great aunt that lived with her son. Actually her son lived with her. But we found fucking nasty pictures of them fucking. I think my mom had a suspicion it was going on. They both died around the same time and my mom ended up as executor or whatever of the estate. I remember her specifically saying not to look at any pictures we found, but I had no idea why until I looked at them.”

#15. Monster.

“My great aunt died about a year ago. She was in her mid 70s. We were unpacking all her things and we found her diaries, some from years ago and some just before her death. In her diaries she had mentioned that she despised her sister (to be honest, non of us liked her), and didn’t like a lot of my cousins.

Most shocking, she kept on talking about a man who she called, ‘monster’. This man had been sexually harassing her and abusing her for years. She never mentioned it nor indicated that anything was wrong. We suspect that it was her boss.

I loved her dearly, she was so sweet.”

The post 12+ People Reveal Shocking Truths They Learned About a Loved One After Their Death appeared first on UberFacts.