All the men out there need to listen and listen good!
This advice from AskReddit is coming STRAIGHT FROM THE LADIES, so you know it’s legit.
So if you want to meet some women (and have them respond positively), read on and pay attention.
1. A few good pointers
“Approach her in a place where she won’t feel like she’s being cornered. Other people around, casual setting, etc. An empty train car probably isn’t your best bet.
Be friendly and engage in at least minimal small talk before asking her out, for her number, etc. Literally asking 2 seconds into the conversation can be weird, because even if we know your intent right away, you haven’t given us any time to feel out the situation and feel comfortable.
Don’t be demanding. Just ask if she is interested, and do not be forceful about it if she rejects you.
Go in understanding that some women don’t like being approached by strangers, period. You might be good looking, funny, and friendly and she still might be uncomfortable or uninterested
I know this is hard to execute in practice, but just don’t be too weird about it. Don’t treat her like a foreign species or a piece of meat, just like a normal person.”
2. Timing
“Wait until you’re in a place where it’s appropriate. Bar, coffee shop if she doesn’t have headphones in or is reading. Ask if you can join her. Talk about something interesting.”
3. Take a hint
“If this is someone you see regularly, smile. If she returns the smile, say hi.
Let the conversation flow.
Do take a hint if she’s not interested.”
4. Short and sweet
“Whether she is someone you see frequently or not I suggest being short and sweet. Obviously get to know her a little so you’re not complete strangers, but you should give that no more than 5-10 min and leave it off with asking for her number and then proceed to text her the next day and ask her out if you still want to. Don’t ask her anything super personal but find out what she likes to do around town and use that as a way to help you ask her out.
From my experience, I get so annoyed when a guy just wont leave and basically turns our first time we meet into a date, so definitely don’t overstay your welcome.”
5. Body language
“Every person is different and can’t be approached the same way, but the one thing across the board is pay attention to whether or not you think she WANTS to be approached. If they have headphones in at all, what their body language is telling you (not making eye contact, turned away, etc), if they’re busy and trying to get something done.
It makes the difference between me categorically ignoring you and also being annoyed or possibly even scared depending on context, or at the very least making friends.
And if you are rejected for any of those reasons or different ones, just remember that you or anyone else don’t have the right to someone’s time and attention just because you want it. Don’t take it personally and move on and leave her alone.”
6. Dos and don’ts
“The guys I remember the most fondly had very casual conversation starters and transitioned smoothly into asking my name. Don’t start with “Hey, I’m so and so” or “What’s your name?” It catches me so off guard.
Try mentioning something that doesn’t have to do with her specifically. When you approach me, I’m trying to assess the situation, determine if you’re dangerous, examine my surroundings, and figure out what your intentions are. I don’t want to be doing all of this while answering questions about myself, even if it’s just my name.
Also, read that body language. Make a little eye contact and smile. And then read her body language and make sure she’s not already creeped out or on guard.
For instance, if you’re in line at Target or something, smile and read her body language. Then mention something about your surroundings or the store: “I always come in here for a specific thing and end up leaving with 30 things I didn’t need and forget the one thing I came here for.” Every girl at Target can sympathize with that. If she doesn’t say anything, don’t push it. She’s not into it. If she seems good with the conversation, just make small talk in line and then give her your number.
NEVER FOLLOW HER OR WAIT FOR HER IN THE PARKING LOT. That is creepy. We are constantly told how dangerous parking lots are so you immediately come off as a threat.”
7. No confrontation
“Don’t corner or confront them. Don’t ask personal information off the bat. Compliment their outfit, hair, makeup, or something they have control over and not their body or face (don’t objectify). If they they’re doing something (reading, listening to music, shopping, etc.) leave them alone. If they ignore you, leave them alone. Realize that they probably get unwanted attention all day long and might not want to talk.”
8. Friendly
“Don’t approach them as someone you are interested in, approach them as someone you want to make friends with. Start with “hello” or a wave, and then try making a friend. If you don’t want to make a friend, you are not worth getting to know.”
9. Complimentary
“Approach her casually in a public place and compliment something she has control over (i.e. clothes, hair, makeup, etc) and use words like “cool” “awesome” or “rad”. Nobody is intimidated by compliments like that.
Also if someone isn’t interested, just accept it and respect their space. There is no excuse to bother someone in their own time if they aren’t interested.”
10. Don’t force it
“I hate when men come up to me and say “hi, what’s your name? I just wanted to introduce myself…blahblahblah”. It’s fine but that has never resulted in me having an awesome connection or giving my number out. It just feels forced. Like I know we haven’t met, that’s why your introducing yourself. Be confident. If you notice she’s watching the game say “oh don’t tell me you like the xyz team” or if she has an interesting looking drink ask her what it is. If she’s looking at the menu tell her they make killer nachos. If she doesn’t want to talk, she won’t. If she’s interested you’ll start talking and at the first lull that’s when you can tell me your name/ask me mine/etc. I don’t want to hear the standard question list. Show me you can actually talk to me and you’re fun to be around.”
11. Mutual interests
“Striking up a conversation about a mutual interest sometimes works. The thing is you have to be genuine. Strange guys approach single women all the feckin’ time and feign interest when the real message is, you’re good enough; I’d do you.
Take an interest in her personality, in her tastes. Relate to her as a human being. She may shut you out for any of a thousand reasons and she doesn’t owe you an explanation, but once in a while a woman might decide that you seem fun and interesting.
That being said, women tend to be less on guard when there’s an introduction through mutual friends or if the two of you belong to the same club.”
12. Don’t change a thing
“Honestly? the same way you would approach a dude you simply wanted to have a conversation with.”
13. Give her space
“If I am on the street, just don’t approach me. Period. I live downtown and I have received death threats after engaging with strangers.
Make your introduction light, and if shes not feeling after a couple of seconds, wish them a good day and leave. If you are engaged with a women for at least 30 seconds and shes not feeling it, I guarantee shes has thought of an exit strategy already.
Give her space to talk, so if she does want to leave, she doesn’t have to wait for you to finish speaking or interrupt you.
Just giving a woman freedom to leave a situation makes a huge difference really.”
14. Remember these words
“Don’t forget this quote:
“Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” “
15. Don’t be a gnat
“Also, if it’s out in public, bear in mind she’s probably on her way to do something- going to work, meeting a friend, trying to catch a train, making an appointment, etc… so if she ignores you or brushes you off, it might not be you, specifically. I’m often harried when I’m out and about, or otherwise very focused on what I’m trying to get done, and a random person trying to talk to me is more like a gnat buzzing around my ear.
I might not even really notice someone is trying to talk to me until 10-20 seconds later, and I’ve already walked off. I’ve been called all manner of horrible things because I more or less ignored someone trying to talk to me. Well, I’m not going to turn around and talk to you NOW. Remember that she’s not there purely for your benefit, so be polite.”
The post Women Share the Best, Non-Creepy Way for Men to Approach Them appeared first on UberFacts.
