To help reduce the high male to female ratio (5:1) in a small Australian mining town (Mount Isa), the mayor put out a call to lonely “beauty-disadvantaged women” to move to Mount Isa for a chance to find love.
A trio of drunken boys decided…
A trio of drunken boys decided to sail out to sea looking for a girl they saw at a sports competition event. They ended up sailing for more than seven weeks and drifted 1300 km off course before being rescued by a tuna boat. They all survived by drinking beer, eating coconuts and a bird.
The post A trio of drunken boys decided… appeared first on Crazy Facts.
People Describe The Exact Moment They Instantly Regretted Showing Up For A Date
Sometimes we’re just better off being alone.
That is a life fact many of us need to come to grips with.
So Redditor Zuzpo wanted to hear from everybody who has been disappointed on the search for a mate—sometimes that free dinner just ain’t worth it.
They asked:
“What was the moment you realized that you shouldn’t have showed up to a date?”
I’m Pooped Out!!
“An alleged friend told me her coworker and I would be great together and wanted to do a double date at a festival with her and her husband.”
“Date suggested he and I meet up the night before to get to know each other and I suggested a gaming bar I’d wanted to try.”
“Date time arrives and he’s not there.”
“He finally shows up and tells me he had to stop home to let the dogs out so they don’t s**t all over the floor.”
“He then proceeds to show me a picture of a floor covered in dog s**t and says guess it didn’t work.”
“He is still wearing his work clothes.”
“It has been three hours since work ended and he went home to deal with the dogs but didn’t change.”
“He proceeds to eat the rest of the charcuterie plate I ordered by himself and then orders wings for himself.”
“We decide to check out a game since I have now paid for more game time.”
“He wants a mall madness game that is not designed for two people.”
“We settle on a playable game. It’s not great.”
“As we are wrapping up he tells me the last date he took here fucked him in the parking lot he stares at me expertly.”
“I tell him that’s not going to happen.”
“I tell my friend I’m skipping the festival.”
“He’s shocked and thought we had a spark.” ~ Polyf**kery
Wouldn’t it be better to just be gay?
“My mom met a nice girl during the day, unknown to me.”
“My mom and I were supposed to go out for dinner that night.”
“She invites the girl, unknown to me, then ditches the dinner once she knows she has set me up on a date.”
“My mom was very worried I was gay at the time.”
“The girl and I get to chatting over drinks, she’s fun, flirty, cute – and a meth-addicted prostitute who thought it was some weird kink game that she was being hired to get into the middle of.”
“So…YEA. She was understanding when we realized the mix-up, but I gave my mom shit for that one for years.” ~ Yvaelle
Maybe I’ll Drive
“He was picking me up and texted me ‘here’ a little early so he had plenty of time to do this before I got down to his car.”
“But he waited until I opened the door and there was about a dozen magazines (like rifle mags) on the passenger’s seat and he said ‘hope you’re not some crazy liberal! don’t mind these mags.’”
“And then brushed them onto the floor. It was super awkward/cringy.”
“Also it was my first date since I rough breakup and the rest of it was just as bad if not worse, I ended up crying in the bathroom half way through.” ~ lebrunjemz
From Hinge to “Unhinged!”
“Matched with a girl on Plenty Of Fish, we were talking for a while and she worked out she knew someone I had worked with in the past.”
“I asked him what she was like, he said she’s ok and not ‘mental or anything’, little did I know he really didn’t like me because I was better at the job then he was and he was straight up lying his a** off.”
“So I arrange a coffee date between our houses, she only lived like 5-10 minutes away and the nearest shopping centre cafe was 10 minutes away.”
“I arrive and wait a few minutes and in walks this girl 10-15kg heavier then her display picture with a baby in a pram, she recognised me and sat down like this was normal.”
“The entire time we had been talking she’d told me she had a daughter who was 2, I told her I had a 2 year old son as well.”
“Turns out her daughter was 2 months not 2 years and she never corrected the fact.”
“Also this is the first time we had met and she asked me 5 minutes into the date if I could buy her baby formula.”
“One look at her and I could tell she actually needed the formula and was in a desperate situation so I bought it for her because I’m a sucker and didn’t want her baby to starve.”
“I politely told her it was never going to work because she straight up lied, she said yeah fair enough and left.”
“About 2 months later I was talking to another girl on POF who happened to be friends with her, she seemed normal and not like the complete psychopath I’m sure she was.”
“The crazy one from the first part of the story rang me (she stalked me through my friends) and told me how the 2nd one was bats**t mental, I said I didn’t believe her and she hung up on me.”
“Ten minutes later my messenger starts going off, it’s girl #1 sending film clips and news articles of girl #2 having a complete psychotic break and torching her ex boyfriends car.”
“On camera in a shopping centre.”
“So it all worked out well and I dodged the bigger bullet because girl #1 thought I was too nice a guy to deserve girl #2.” ~ Aussiegamer1987
Stalker
“I went on a date a few months after me and my college gf had broken up.”
“I had matched with this girl off of tinder and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the break up.”
“I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later.”
“I walked in the restaurant and my ex is sitting at the table under that girl’s name.”
“I turned around to walk out and got a tinder notification from the girl I had agreed to meet ‘you’ll never be able to get away from me.’”
“Should have stayed home that night, and steer clear of blind dates.” ~ Automatic_Doctor4934
Good Luck
“When at the party I met her at and her boyfriend said ‘Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her s**t.’” ~ cleric3648
Use an Uber
“When he said ‘wow you even walk like a guy!’”
“As soon as he got out of my car. Whatever that means.”
“He then proceeded to be racist, sexist, and homophobic during this ‘date’, which was more of a monologue from his part, and even implied I’m fat and that he had no interest in me before trying to kiss me.”
“Please don’t take people you don’t know on dates using your car.”
“You’ll be stranded with them.” ~ redvaporeon-sk
And you are?
“When he said he was actually from an entirely different state.”
“He looked completely different from his photos and then asked if he could borrow $400 for Methadone before we even ordered.”
“I left immediately. Been stalking me for over ten years. Fun times.” ~ AlienFemTech
Suspicious Behavior
“She was a kleptomaniac.”
“Thought she was exaggerating or maybe just went through a tough time.”
“Then she showed me the pile of legal paperwork.”
“She was on 1st name terms with the judge she had been to court so many times.”
“Then she asked me to touch her back.”
“Said she felt super sweaty from the MCAT she’d taken and then showed me how she disposed of her used needles because she was a heroin addict.”
“Should have noped out sooner but she was sweet but yeah, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend.” ~ DeadlyChaffinch
Gross…
“When he didn’t let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids chicken tender meal- I’m 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself he spit pieces of chicken at/on me.” ~ EstetheAinur
Yeah, I’m just going to plan for a Golden Girls scenario.
This is nonsense—wildly entertaining to read about… but nonsense none the less.
People Share The Wedding Moments That Made Them Think The Marriage Would Never Last
Weddings are meant to be a time of great joy and profound happiness.
Two souls converging and becoming one for all of eternity.
Love is abound like a free wheeling pixie. It’s a glorious sight to behold.
Until it’s not.
Sadly too many people jump into marriage for all the wrong reasons.
They try to fool the world, and themselves, that this is the right thing to do.
But more often than not, the world can see right through you.
Redditor Olya_roo wanted to hear about the red flags and flat out obvious signs they witnessed at a wedding that didn’t give them hope for the couple’s happily ever after…
They asked:
“What wedding moment made you think: ‘They are not going to last long?’”
Let’s talk about love, while it lasts…
Next time skip the Speeches?
“Not the couple getting married but the Best Man and Maid of Honor who were married to each other.”
“Best Man’s speech was all about how hard it was to be married.”
“‘I’ve been married for a year and it feels like 100 years.’”
“Maid of Honor stands up to give a speech and just says ‘Ditto.’”
“It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down.”
“Brother of the bride stood up and gave a nice impromptu speech about teamwork and having a partner to go through life with.”
“How happy the family was to have the groom join their family.”
“Best Man and Maid of Honor were divorced within a year.”
“Couple who got married are still married 30+ years later.”
“I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually were helpful in how not to act as a couple.”
“For me the complex backstory.”
“Bride’s brother is gay and has been in a longterm relationship for 40+ years.”
“At the time he gave his speech about marriage he couldn’t marry the man he loved and I think his passioned defense of marriage was born from that.”
“When people would say they were against gay marriage because it makes a mockery of marriage I’d think of that night.”
“The married couple who had no respect for marriage could easily marry (and did over and over again) and the man who stood up and defended marriage could not.”
“He’s married now and lovingly takes care of his husband as he battles health issues.” ~ designgoddess
Financials…
“When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the ‘for richer or poorer’ part and she said ‘for richer or richer and maybe for poorer.’”
“The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.” ~ crm115
How much is this costing?
“I’M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!”
“My wife’s brother just got married this past May.”
“Bride’s mother is a big DO IT YOURSELF person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc…”
“Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.”
“Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (groom’s mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!!).”
“And asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy.”
“It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side.” ~ WanderingRaindog
Clothes Speak
“The groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned ‘Game Over.’” ~ Reddit
Best Ensemble Performance!
“My wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding.”
“The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students.”
“The maid-of-honour’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of ‘if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you.’”
“The best-man’s speech was a lusty declaration of ‘if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe… like the previous time you called me.’”
“Other toasts were similarly weird.”
“A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ thing.”
“I’m still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally f**ked-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.” ~ sharplescorner
Be Sure to Eat Out
“I was maid of honor.”
“Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff.”
“Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (something she’s passionate about) to the officiant.”
“She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her.”
“He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic.”
“That always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back.”
“They lasted 7 months.” ~ Kraken_of_BeverlyRd
BE SURE!!!
“When my sister married her first husband she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle ‘I can make this work, right?’”
“They were divorced 6 months later.”
“My whole family knew it wasn’t a good idea since the original engagement a year prior.” ~ IMgonnaDIE
Bodily Harm
“He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception.”
“He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered.”
“They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos.”
“Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.” ~ blackhart452
The Family Brawl…
“Well here it goes…”
“My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that groom was not the best to my cousin while dating.”
“The bride’s brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families.”
“Next thing you know the police show up and literally pepper spray everyone.”
“Including my grandma, kids and anyone near the area.”
“I don’t remember if anyone got arrested but the story got on CBS the early show for the international news.”
“Lol they did not last long to say the least.” ~ mendoza327
Kisses…
“When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.” ~ csdirty
Some of us are just going to die alone, or with a parrot.
And that is ok.
It is better to be alone than unhappy.
Besides if you wait just a little longer, the right one may not be far off.
Don’t say “I DO” until you’re 100% sure!!
Waiters Share The Worst Valentine’s Day Disasters They’ve Ever Seen
Though many justifiably call Valentine’s Day nothing more than a holiday called into existence by jewelry and greeting card companies, chocolate and flower vendors and the service industry, most couples can’t help but celebrate it anyway.
And there’s no shame in that.
Why not spend a night with complete focus on a partner and all things love and romance?
But for a variety of reasons, the holiday can still end in pure chaos.
Redditor Hamsternoir banked on that unfortunate reality when they asked:
“Waiters what Valentine day disasters have you witnessed?”
Of course, marriage proposals are frequently a piece of these stories.
“I was eating in a fine dining establishment (Chili’s) several years ago. In the next booth was a really young guy who had a big bunch of roses on the seat next to him.”
“He kept looking at his watch, looking at the roses, and popping open a ring box for a peek at the ring.”
“He did this for a half hour or so, then began calling and texting someone (presumably his girlfriend) over and over.”
“As we were waiting for our check, he hands my wife the roses, mumbled something, and walked out.”
“Poor guy.” — AZScienceTeacher
It’s even worse when there’s a secret audience.
“Not a waiter but I was a pastry chef at this big resort in cape cod. We got a special order from this guy who was coming in for his anniversary ( Valentine’s day). He wanted his desert to have ‘Will you marry me?’ written on it so he could pop the question when it came out.”
“He called ahead to the front and back kitchen, even came in himself that morning to make sure it was good to go. The whole crew was behind him. We had cooks all night coming in the ask if it had happened yet.”
“I wrote the inscription on the plate and dressed it to the nines with gold leaf and expensive chocolate. I’m taking a picture of the plate just before it’s set to go out and notice our head waiter come in with a weird look on his face.”
“He says plainly ‘They don’t need it’ “
“She broke up with him before the entrees hit the table.” — jeanlukepikard
In one case, the waitstaff became directly involved.
“There was a note in our reservations that it was an engagement, they wanted champagne, a specific seat, bunch of other stuff. The server comes up to the table with something like ‘so I read we’re celebrating an engagement, congratulations.’ ”
“Confusion from the woman; glaring from the guy. He hadn’t proposed yet. She ruined it.” — ChefHannibal
For one Redditor, the proposal remains a mystery.
“Old man proposed to old woman. He tried to get off the chair to kneel, tripped and fell and I assume broke something since he couldnt get back up and we had to call an ambulance.”
“My manager had to drive her teeth to the hospital separately because she had taken them out to eat her soup (lord knows why) and left them on the table in the confusion.” — rancid_cu**_bucket
There are, however, other versions of love lost.
“They came in at lunch the day after, so it was pretty empty but it was still for a Valentine’s Day date. They were both pretty nice at the beginning, the guy asked for a picture and whatnot.”
“As the meal went on, the dude got progressively drunker and by the time I brought the check out, the woman was gone.”
“When the dude gave me his card, he said ‘I’ll give you a bit of advice. If you’re taking a girl out to break up with her, do it at a McDonald’s and not an expensive restaurant’.” — _StanleyYelnats
Breakups aren’t always such a spectacle, though.
“These two were on a date and the guy went to go use the bathroom, The girl just up and leaves after he went to the restroom. When the guy came back he sat around for awhile until asking his waitress where she went.”
“She replied with saying that she left. The guy then asked the waitress if she would go on a date with him. The waitress said no.” — OffensiveGender
For this waiter, the relationship in question was hers.
“I was working as a waitress in a Sushi restaurant and Valentine’s Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift.”
“This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine’s Day off and we’d just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after.”
“Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION.”
“He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous.”
“Needless to say we didn’t go out again. Ever.” — venustas
And there were those juicy stories of infidelity.
“In college I waited tables and Valentine’s Day was always a good one in terms of tips.”
“I once saw a couple come in to eat, halfway through the dinner the mans wife shows up to surprise the couple. The wife took the wine bottle and poured the remnants on the husbands head, took off her ring and told the girlfriend she could have him.”
“He tipped me a $100” — kobra_kyle
This one doesn’t involve a waiter, but it’s just too wild to leave out.
“I was a delivery driver for a fruit bouquet company and I had two arrangements from the same guy.”
“Routes were made for me and the truck was loaded so there was no way I could mess this up. Delivered both arrangements to the appropriate address.”
“I headed back to the store to find the store owner and the guy who sent these in an argument. This idiot put the wrong name to the houses. And it was on the card with the arrangement. Along with the phone numbers.”
“So both women called each other and then called the guy. He tried to say it was my fault. Then the person who took the order. He ordered it ONLINE. All we did was import the order.”
“I hate valentine’s day because of that place but man was that great.” — misfits90
And finally, one waiter saw them all.
“I had a section one V-day that had a marriage proposal, a 40th anniversary, and a break up all at the same time.”
“The break up was the worst. The guy brought his high class date a gift; a mini ceramic bear holding balloons. He presented it when I was at the table and she looked at it like it was a hot turd.”
“I just knew this was not going to end well. She left at the end of the meal and must have said something because he stayed at the table for another 40 minutes, head down and crying. I felt bad, he saw the celebrations going on at the other tables.” — Odd-Examination
So for those of you celebrating V-Day this year, consider a few lessons: propose in private, don’t use the day to save a relationship, and if you’re cheating, beware!
People Divulge Which Questions No One Should Ever Ask On A First Date
When on a first date…. keep it light.
I mean, you do want to know if you’re compatible and all of that, but don’t get crazy.
Life is not being decided over your first plate of calamari.
Maybe find out someone’s favorite color before we get into baby names.
Wondering for their own reasons, Redditor koyanggi6563 wanted to discuss what chatter is and is not best for the beginning of romance.
They asked:
“What’s something that should never be asked on a first date?”
What are your thoughts?
That is Private
“Ask me about my job… we’re fine. Specific questions about my salary or savings… I nope out.” ~ ghost882
“I do think talking about if a savings account has a balance and if you have an emergency fund is important, but specific numbers are too much.” ~ Global_Criticism_911
The Body Count Percentage
“On a first date, my date asked me what percent of women I had sex with on first dates.” ~ nyle2
“I beg your pardon kind sir, if I may, could you possibly bestow upon me some rather interesting knowledge in regards to how many souls you make romance to, upon your first date?”
“Much obliged, kind sir, my everlasting gratitude is upon you in infinite magnitudes for your most generous understanding.” ~ -Z-3-R-0-
Are the accounts full?
“How much money I have.”
“Before I was married, I went on a date with a woman who asked me on the first date, how financially comfortable I was.”
“We had known each other for a few weeks (mutual friend). I think she asked because she deducted that I lived alone in a house I owned, at age 25, and it probably appeared that I didn’t work (was self employed).”
“As soon as she asked, it was obvious why she pushed us to try dating because. She saw money.”
“She ended up marrying for money, but not mine. It’s obvious there’s a prenup, because she’s miserable, and not leaving him.” ~ FinestTreesInDa7Seas
When in a Diner…
“I had a girl once talk about how her period was so bad this month it caused her chest to break out in hives.”
“She then wanted to show me… in a diner… full of families and shit. I did not ask.” ~ bybeardandthrone
Deep Breaths…
“Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?” ~ Tzardine
“Insufficient.”
“Chloroform takes 15 – 20 minutes of steady deep breathing in to successfully knock someone completely out and that’s if you are strong enough to keep steady pressure over their mouth and nose while being able to hold them still in your arms to limit their movements.”
“So a quick sniff won’t do anything but have them tell you yes it does or I don’t know what chloroform smells like so no?” ~ The_Book-JDP
History Out
“I had a first date ask me my favorite genocide, and then went on to talk about various historical genocides for the rest of the date. I was really creeped out.” ~ gallopingwalloper
Astrology Issues
“What is your zodiac sign?” ~ SquareUnderwear69
“Please ask me this on put first date. Then I know you’re a superstitious person who determines their life via ‘magic,’ and I won’t bother with a second date.” ~ AtheneSchmidt
Matters of the Heart
“So, how many men’s hearts have you broken before?”
“I don’t know if this is a common thing to ask but I got asked this by 2-3 people and I found it a very weird thing to ask.”
“And to clarify the question wasn’t phrased like they were asking about my past relationships, instead it seemed like they were asking how many I turned down.”
“I found it very weird, who remembers that like it’s a conquest or something?” ~ firefly158
All the Shots!!
“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Did he fire six shots or only five?’”
“Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I kind of lost track myself.”
“But being that this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: ‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well do ya, punk?’” ~ JunkieM0nkey
All in the Family
“How many kids do you want?” ~ 1nqv
“Maybe not so good for the first date but definitely something to talk about quite early in the relationship.”
“Asking ‘do you like kids?’ or something like that can totally do in the first date depending on the timing, context and both of your personalities.”
“Way too many people leave this type of question for very late in the relationship only to break up because one wants kids and the other hates them.” ~ Digitijs
Who takes the check?
“To have one of the dates pay for both meals.” ~ Homerlikesdonuts
“Disagree with that for the first date. It’s totally fine to do afterwards, but I think whoever asked the other out on the date, should pay for the first date.”
“After that you can split it or take turns or whatever.” ~ Testastic
Percentages…
“Had a girl tell me she was a feminist which I’m ok with 100% so when the bill came I paid for what I had with 20% tip and her reaction wasn’t great.” ~ ghanksta57
“This is obviously a made up story but…”
“If you ask someone out on a date, you should pay. At least the first time.”
“If I invite a girl on a date and she insists on paying for herself, that’s a giant sign that she’s not into me.”
“And if I was invited on a date and then they expected me to pay, it would be the first and last date.” ~ LightningRodofH8
Say “I Do!”
“Future marriage plans.”
“Actually happened to me on a blind date setup by a close friend who was trying to help out a colleague of his from work.”
“She was just a little bit desperate to find her love connection.”
“There was no second date.” ~ udetme
What have we learned?
Be cool. Be calm. And just get to know someone before the third degree.
It’s a first date not a marriage proposal.
In 2016, Tong Aonan, a 27-year-old Chinese man…
In 2016, Tong Aonan, a 27-year-old Chinese man, declared his affection for his next-door neighbour by solving 840 Rubik’s cubes and using them to create a portrait of her. She said no.
The post In 2016, Tong Aonan, a 27-year-old Chinese man… appeared first on Crazy Facts.
People Explain What You Should Never Do On A First Date
First dates can feel trickier than they actually are.
What starts out as a memorable first encounter can quickly turn south if you put too much thought into it. At most, a first date should attempt to establish a line of connection and if there’s the chance for something more serious to occur.
Turns out, not everyone gets this and that’s where terrible first dates come from.
You’ve heard of them.
You’ve had them.
Now, hear what you can avoid to skip that first date awkwardness.
Reddit user, Couch_Licker, wanted to know what to skip when they asked:
What should you NEVER do on a first date?
Put Them Away
“Be on your phone the whole time” ~ beforesunset1010
“Put it on vibrate and don’t look at it except when you go to the bathroom. I walked out on a date because she was constantly replying to messages. They did not take it well.” ~ [usernamedeleted]
“But what if it is a “let’s play Pokemon GO together” sort of date?” ~ zetta_baron
Keep It On The Present
“Only talk about your previous relationships” ~ Nevlu
“She talked about him so much I started to miss the guy” ~ 2x4x93
“Discuss any particular ex for a length of time. In my experience it’s a big red flag that they’re not over someone or carrying that baggage. And I mean everyone has baggage – it’s normal. I have some and expect the people I’ve dated in the past to have some.”
“But a first date should be about exploring each other and whether you like the person, are attracted to them, want to continue getting to know them. You can mention previous relationships but unless both parties have known each other during previous relationships – do not vent or over explain your exes.” ~ meowowomeow
Don’t Be Egg Hands
“Once had a dude grab some of my food off of my plate with his bare hands. He was trying to do a cutesy sharing food thing but it was a poached egg. He grabbed a poached egg with his bare hands right off of my plate. Please do not be like that guy.” ~ bubblebubbeleh
“I was picturing fries or something. I was not ready for the mental image of a guy trying to grab poached egg with his bare hands. Attempting to be cute or not, what part of that seemed like a good idea?” ~ themightybearorrist
Be Up Front About It, At Least
“invite your spouse. It’s just so awkward” ~ ickysam
“You think Im kidding but at least 10% of Tinder is two people looking to add someone else.” ~ Stories_for_days
Watch Your Strength, Bro
“Break her nose. My now husband hugged me the way Lenny petted rabbits.”
“He was happy to finally meet me in person after online relationship, was a virgin, and thought harder hugs mean more love. They do not.”
“He still apologizes when it’s brought up, lol.” ~ Fact_Even
“So you’re saying it worked?” ~ DunderBearForceOne
“WARNING: THIS IS THE WRONG TAKEAWAY FROM THIS STORY!” ~ a-horse-has-no-name
Believe In Science
“Revealing that you’re a flat earther. This serious happened to me.”
“This guy I met online seems okay. We went on a date and he started asking ‘those type of questions that make people fall in love with you’.”
“Idk if you know what I’m talking about. If that didn’t weird me out enough, he went on and claimed that we worked for NASA and they lied to everyone.”
“The earth is flat and those images we saw of earth are CGI renders. The US never landed on the moon and conspiracy sh*t like that.”
“Needless to say there was no second date.” ~ pink0205
Monitoring Your Breath
“Well, don’t do what I did: order the French onion soup.”
“This was a lunch date and I’m not sure what the hell I was thinking ordering something that both makes a mess (all that melted, stringy cheese) and gives you bad breath.”
“My wife still gives me crap about that boneheaded decision to this day.” ~ Southern_Snowshoe
A Quiet Opening
“Go to the movies. I think going to the movies should be reserved for people in relationships.”
“Why? Because if you go to the movies on the first date you’ll practically have wasted two hours watching something, not being able to talk and get to know each other.” ~ YogurtSocks
“Going to see a film then going for a meal after isn’t the worst option. At least then you have one thing to talk about.”
“However, the theater on its own seems silly. You can’t get to know much about a person that way.” ~ [usernamedeleted]
Keep Your Head On Straight
“Show up wasted.”
“This guy was obviously drunk or on some sort of drugs. His date was being so polite but was clearly uncomfortable.”
“Her server managed to pick up her signals and when she got up to ‘go to the bathroom’ he ushered her to our service elevator to make her getaway.”
“After about 15 minutes he let him know his date had left, he seemed surprised, then a bit upset, finally confessing that it was the second time this had happened to him this week.”
“I kind of felt sad for him in the end, dealing with addiction is tough.” ~ omgbbqpork
Have A Little Bit Of Confidence
“Don’t dump out every single unappealing thing about your life on a first date. There is plenty of time to get to know someone, and plenty of time to be honest about those things – but a first date isn’t the time for it.”
“I feel like sometimes people do this as a defense mechanism, to ‘rip off the bandaid’ and test if someone will accept them completely – but it is far too much all at once and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy of rejection.”
“As an example: on a first date, a guy disclosed to me he’s living with his parents who are homeless and refuse to move out of his apartment so almost all his income goes to them, he has zero sex drive, and he struggles with severe body image issues.”
“He also had plenty of great qualities, and if I’d had a chance to slowly get to know him we may have been able to navigate around some of that stuff… but honestly it was way too much to process all at once.”
“I also have my own family/medical/mental health sh*t to deal with too – I just didn’t dump it all on him in one day – so all I could think about was how much of his sh*t he was asking me to take on, and I didn’t even know him.”
“I ended up not accepting a second date, then watched him post about how women won’t give him a chance on social media… I felt bad because he’s a really nice guy and he’s absolutely sabotaging himself with that first date etiquette.” ~ cebogs
Know Where The Boundaries Are
“Speaking as a woman who dates men: getting offended if she doesn’t want you to pick her up/drive her home.”
“Basic safety there and you look like a creep even if you were just trying to be nice. Offering is fine– but don’t push.” ~ catmos
Something To Be Proud Of?
“Reveal your collection of used panties you’ve bought online.” ~ RedShaun21
You don’t have to do much to have a good first date.
Just don’t show up drunk and skip sharing your panty collecting hobby.
It can be that easy.
Memes for People Who Really Know the Truth About Siblings
I have two sisters – I’m right in the middle actually. One two years older, one two years younger.
We were home a lot and naturally I wanted people to play with, but I quickly discovered that I did everything wrong. Specifically, I played Barbies wrong. I’m still not sure to this day what the correct way of Barbi-ing is, this remains an eternal mystery I don’t hold much hope of cracking, but I know that however *I* was doing it was definitely not correct, and I was thus usually expelled from play sessions pretty quickly.
And that’s just how it goes when you have siblings. You can’t do anything right, but you can’t do anything too wrong either. These memes know what’s up.
10. Wish away
Imagine living in this kind of perpetual fear.
Via: The Chive
9. Look, alike!
Not sure if insult, compliment, or completely neutral statement.
Via: The Chive
8. In retrospect
Oh that’s right, you’re my family.
Via: The Chive
7. No take-backs
This is OUR shirt, Comrade!
Via: The Chive
6. The summoning circle
Pretty fly for a wifi.
Via: The Chive
5. All’s fair in love and war
“Life isn’t fair,” is a great get-out-of-jail-free card for being a jerk.
Via: The Chive
4. Mom said
Oh y’all had XBOX growing up? Fancy.
Via: The Chive
3. A shining example
Meanwhile she doesn’t know you’re currently super high.
Via: The Chive
2. The struggle
That’s how it do.
Via: The Chive
1. The faker
It takes a while to learn how to spot, but you get there eventually.
Via: The Chive
Love your siblings. At the end of the day, they’re the only ones ya got.
What are yours like?
Tell us in the comments.
The post Memes for People Who Really Know the Truth About Siblings appeared first on UberFacts.
Memes for Everybody Who Knows All About That Sibling Life
When you look at the stats, you can see that at any given time, the most common number of children for a family to have is actually only one, followed by two, and trailing a bit distantly is three or more.
Which means that if you, like me, grew up with two or more siblings, your experience is actually in the minority, even though the things we’ve seen feel so very universal, and are so aptly expressed in these memes.
15. The attack
Oh now you’ve done it, you’ve unleashed the beast.
Via: The Chive
14. The difference
Gotta smile for the camera.
Via: The Chive
13. Oops
He was like this when I found him, I swear.
Via: The Chive
12. The oldest trick in the book
In the era of all-wireless controllers it’s even harder for them to tell.
Via: The Chive
11. Ending the cycle
I am with you in this cause.
Via: The Chive
10. The smug look
I have everything and you have nothing!
Via: The Chive
9. What a twist
Then you learn the trick and perpetuate it on others, that’s how this goes.
Via: The Chive
8. Take a seat
It’s not about comfort, it’s about the principal of the thing.
Via: The Chive
7. The ruse
TV day, here I come.
Via: The Chive
6. What’s mine is mine
We’re not super great at leaning toward equity naturally.
Via: The Chive
5. The switcheroo
You shouldn’t have. No really, you shouldn’t have.
Via: The Chive
4. Mean machine
I ain’t your dad.
“First borns are always the meanest..”
Because we became parents of children we didn’t make. So yeah, we’re very angry.
— WHAT IT DO, KAEPU (@lmasinaa) June 21, 2018
3. Brutal
If you let me keep a 60/40 share of the money you can beat the crap out of me, homes.
Someone: Would you slap your sibling for $1.5 million?
Me: I would slap my sibling for fkin looking at me.
— DuMbO
(@dumbo_haii) August 7, 2020
2. Don’t tell mom
It goes on and on.
Just overheard my 54 year old dad tell my 58 year old aunt “don’t tell mom”
So apparently that’s a lifelong thing.
— bekah (@bekah_owsley) August 9, 2018
1. The look
This too shall pass.
when you’re getting yelled at but you make eye contact with your sibling pic.twitter.com/o3ozE3pGdb
— aly (@heypeterprker) July 17, 2018
Ah, siblings. Gotta love ’em. GOTTA.
What are your siblings like?
Tell us about them in the comments.
The post Memes for Everybody Who Knows All About That Sibling Life appeared first on UberFacts.