I know I’m probably preaching to the choir here, but I’m gonna say it anyway…
Looking for a job SUUUUUUUUUCKS.
It’s a total nightmare, it destroys your soul, it makes you feel horrible about yourself, and you’re likely to get rejected over and over again, which isn’t good for your self-confidence.
But you gotta keep doing it if you’re out of work because we all gotta pay the bills, brothers and sisters.
Still, it can be a major drag…but we want you to have a laugh and jobs and job searching.
Enjoy.
1. This is out of control.
You’re gonna need top-secret clearance for this job.
One time I Applied to work as a busboy at Cheesecake Factory they made me take a personality test and 2 IQ type tests and then said I wasn’t what the Cheesecake Factory was looking for. It’s not the CIA man it’s where parents take their kids to tell them they’re getting divorced
— joe joegan (@jakebrodes) April 13, 2021
2. Yeah, imagine that.
I don’t know why companies haven’t figured this out yet…
*worker quits*
Workers: Are you going to replace them, that position is important.
Company: lol no.
Workers: is anyone gonna get a raise for picking up their work?
Company: lol no.
*more workers quit*
Company: Damn everyone’s leaving that’s nuts.— Fido
(@TheDalmie) October 26, 2019
3. Enough with these kinds of posts!
Just keep hustlin’!
I fucking hate LinkedIn with a passion.
One more speech about how you just have to keep hustling and taking shit and working 80 hour weeks from a dude who got into Yale as a legacy and became a startup CEO of a shitty app company with no privacy security might make me vomit.
— SuperPowerArmor (@SuperPowerArmor) August 22, 2019
4. She answered the question honestly.
And no, she didn’t stutter.
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years
Me: naked on a beach
Interviewer: I mean professionally
Me: did I stutter
— Kari Assad (@kariassad) March 11, 2021
5. That’s pretty close.
They really care about you!
HR: What sort of perks would make your life better here?
Me: A higher salary, flexible hours, and more vacation days.
HR: lmao here's some ramen cups and permission to wear jeans on Friday.
— Aladin Bensassi (@BenSassiAladin) February 4, 2021
6. I swear I can do it!
Now you better be able to follow through.
Me lying on my resume to get a job https://t.co/PQ95vKdUaz
— Handsome Squidward Summer (@IHateMyLaugh) February 23, 2019
7. They’re gonna see right through you.
Just fake it until you make it!
me on my resume: im friendly, outgoing, and have a bright, bubbly personality!
me at the interview: pic.twitter.com/0410XTWcOL
— k (@avacadogirI) August 15, 2017
8. Sounds totally reasonable.
And you wonder why you aren’t getting ahead…
ENTRY LEVEL JOB OPENING:
Hiring recent college gradsREQUIREMENTS:
5 years of experience, 6 Olympic gold medals, and superpowers.— jordan (@jordan_stratton) July 6, 2015
9. We all have our private and professional lives.
And sometimes they’re totally different.
Me saying Me showing
“Eat the up for a job
rich” and interview at
being a a corporation
Marxist so I won’t die
on Twitter: of starvation: pic.twitter.com/psoky0fLpz— Sokka Loves Zuko (@KentingtonClark) November 15, 2019
10. This is a tough one.
I’m not sure how to answer it…
When entry level positions require extensive prior experience: pic.twitter.com/5G5hf8aeWb
— Chloe Condon (@ChloeCondon) July 7, 2018
11. That was determined to be a lie!
Nice try, though.
my resume watching me put “hardworking and motivated” on it pic.twitter.com/n5jB29WdvH
— 𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖔 (@mario_xcx) June 26, 2018
12. Think you’ll still get the job?
Maybe they’ll think it’s funny? Maybe…?
FUCKKK
I JUST APPLIED FOR A JOB AND ACCIDENTALLY UPLOADED THIS INSTEAD OF MY RESUME pic.twitter.com/rNjHAIzHoF
— an pigeon (@imskytrash) April 28, 2019
How about you?
What are some bad or funny experiences you’ve had while job searching?
Talk to us in the comments and let us know! Thanks!
The post If You Don’t Looking for Jobs, These Tweets Are for You appeared first on UberFacts.
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