15 Tweets About Animals That Might Put a Big Smile on Your Face

It’s not as if you weren’t probably already aware that animals are hilarious. Most of the time it’s unintentional, but sometimes you’d swear they know exactly what they’re doing and how much we’re going to love it.

Proof? These 15 tweets right here!

Enjoy these precious moments. Because they won’t be around for long…

1. You’ll get it!

2. Hi. Bye.

3. Yo yo homie

4. There’s so much that’s right about this… but those cat situps!

5. Cutest. Dog. Ever.

6. Alright, listen here you little butthead…

7. Wiggle wiggle wiggle

8. dat frosh lewk!

9. Donald!

10. Same

11. Fruit of his labor…

12. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!!

13. Da best!

14. This is perfect!

15. BFFS!

Are you still saying “awwwwwwwww”? Because I am.

Alright kids… favorite tweet? Let us know in the comments!

The post 15 Tweets About Animals That Might Put a Big Smile on Your Face appeared first on UberFacts.

17 Halloween Costume Ideas You Might Want to Consider This Year

Do you need some inspiration this Halloween season? It’s tough to decide what to be since there are literally tens of thousands of great ideas floating around out there.

So today we’ve made it A LOT easier. Here are 17 perfect group costumes that are sure to be a hit at any company holiday party!

The Heathers

Stranger Things Wall Alphabet

Shark Week

Seven Dwarves

Scooby Doo!

Santa’s Reindeer

Pizza party!

Napoleon Dynamite

Mrs Pac-Man and the ghosts

Monopoly

Many Minions!

Mario Kart in the house!

Magic School Bus

M&Ms

Thing 1, 2 & 3!

Tetris!

Twister

Hope these ideas help you decide! I think we’re going with Napoleon Dynamite this year. And I’m gonna be Uncle Rico.

So, what’s your favorite? Share in the comments!

The post 17 Halloween Costume Ideas You Might Want to Consider This Year appeared first on UberFacts.

This Canadian Artist Turns Precious Moments Dolls into Totally Creepy Sculptures

Canadian artist Keith Busher took a spin on upcycling Precious Moments figures and making them brilliantly evil.

His collection is called “Precious Mutations.”

Totally creepy! Here’s a before and after shot.

Precious Moments debuted in 1978 by illustrator Samual John Butcher, in which these characters were used to depict American-Christian themes. They were a hit and gained popularity.

Today, they’re sought after collector’s items. Some original statues price upwards of $6,000!

Each “remake” takes Busher about a few months to make, factoring in many details. He interviewed with Country Living discussing how this horrifically wonderful creation started.

“After feeling guilty about his kids spending so much time watching television, Keith took his daughters to a thrift store “to seek out inspiration for a new creative project.”

“We went out in search of something we could upcycle and I got stuck in the figurine section looking at all these uber sweet, sometimes awkward figurines,” he tells CountryLiving.com. “I thought that with a little tweaking, they could become quite humorous and much more desirable.”

If you’re looking to buy one of these haunting figures, slide into his DM!

And for anyone looking for a little nostalgic Pennywise from Stephen King’s It, he finished one.

It did sell, but he left a note saying there are other awesome things in the works.

“I believe I am done with this one, it was sold before everything blew up so I’m sorry to disappoint…I have some really cool pieces coming I haven’t shared yet ;)”

Here are some more creepiness…

OMFG!

So if you have any horror-loving friends, be sure to check out Busher’s IG and get it ordered before Christmas!

The post This Canadian Artist Turns Precious Moments Dolls into Totally Creepy Sculptures appeared first on UberFacts.

Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Things Their Students Have Ever Said

Let’s take a trip down memory lane.

This one goes out to the teachers.

Throughout the school day, all teachers hope to impart wisdom into the next generation. But beyond math equations and reading groups, teachers get to experience the hilarity of what kids say.

u/moosepajamas asked Reddit:

“Teachers of Reddit, what is the funniest thing you’ve ever heard a student say?”

And the forum dropped a few outrageous quotes!

10. Bathroom break time? Nope.

“One of my pre-kindergarteners was squirming as we lined up for lunch. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom, and he said no, but kept squirming.

So I asked if he was sure, and he said, ‘I’m OK — it’s just that my penis is so big.’ He had an erection.”

odzilla79

9. Compliment or insult?

“I wore a Captain America shirt to school for ‘Super Hero Day,’ and one of my students said I looked like Captain America before the injections.”

umero1uno

8. A wise child once said…

“One of my 7th graders asked me where babies come from, and another student replied, ‘Well, when a Mommy and Daddy love each other very much…they get a bottle of scotch and a cheap motel room.”

Reddituser

7. The kid’s got a point!

“I heard a student say, ‘I thought Astronomy would be easy because I know all about it, but he hasn’t even brought up horoscopes yet, and we’re 6 weeks in!’”

chrisrayn

6. Burn!

“I’m a math professor, and I had just finished a proof when I asked my students, ‘Does everyone understand my choices?’

One of my favorite students piped up and asked, ‘Are we talking about your proof or how you’ve chosen to live your life?’”

ColdStainlessNail

5. How did she know it’s salty?

“I was teaching a lesson on whales in my high school science class, and had just mentioned the sperm whale when a girl asked, ‘Is that why the ocean is so salty?’”

Deadsolidperfect

4. Speech impediments make for funny moments

Taught ESL for a year. Had an adorable 6-year old who could not say clock. We worked for weeks at it with her, she just could not say it.

“Poppy, what time is it?” “Its 6 o’cock!”

I couldn’t help but laugh every time.”

gaters_gat

3. Ouch

“One of my students was hugging me goodbye when they took a deep inhale, smiled up at me lovingly, and said, ‘Your shirt smells like a grandma, but your armpits smell like Chuck E. Cheese.’”

WalterWhitesHairLine

2. Jesus…

“I teach elementary band, and once we were preparing for a playing test when one student said, ‘Man, I need to practice.’

Without missing a beat, the kid next to him said, ‘My mom says I need Jesus.’”

moosepajamas

1. Good point

“One of my students once asked me, ‘If a synchronized swimmer starts drowning, do they all start drowning?’

I lost it in class.”

bunsenbernerr

At least teachers get a touch of humor while they work!

Tell us your funniest kid moment in the comments! Even if you’ve ever been a teacher, we know you’ve heard one. 😉

The post Teachers Share the Most Hilarious Things Their Students Have Ever Said appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Times Their Gut Feelings Turned out to Be All Too True

Have you ever had a gut feeling that just nagged at you? Did it ever turn out to be spot on?

So it’s not particularly surprising that the question was asked on redd… “What’s your greatest most satisfying “I fucking called it” moment?”

Yeah, these are fun…

11. His Name Was Charles

“Back in the early ’90s, I was in my early twenties and, as people in their early twenties often do, I spent a lot of late nights at my local Denny’s hanging out with friends and drinking cheap coffee.

The late-night wait staff was pretty small, so my friends and I wound up getting to know them pretty well — socializing with them as well. Some of them would hook us up with free fries or sodas and every now and again if things were slow, they’d sit at our booth with us.

One of the people who would hang out with us was named Charles.

Charles was an older guy in his 50s who was very nice to my friends and me, but he was a little… creepy. He would never get overt about it, but he definitely embraced the whole ‘creepy uncle’ persona. He’d tell the girls in my group how pretty they were, and how he wished he was still young, that sort of thing.

The guy was a little weird, but he was a nice guy to us.

All the same, I remember telling people, ‘Charles has a secret. He’s in his fifties, slinging coffee at an all-night restaurant, but he comes off as educated and sort of worldly. He talks about traveling and living well — I don’t know what it is, but Charles is damaged. I bet he killed somebody or something.’ I was convinced that the ‘nice guy’ bit was a cover for something dark.

UH, YEAH…

So as my group got older, people came and went, some of us fell out with others, some of us got real jobs and couldn’t stay up until 4 am at a Denny’s, and we eventually stopped hanging out there.

Never really gave Charles much thought after that, for YEARS.

Then I saw Charles on the news.

Turns out Charles was Charles Rothenberg. In what I understand was originally intended to be a murder-suicide, he doused his son David in kerosene, and lit him on fire.

David survived, but was horribly scarred for the rest of his life. Charles continued to get into criminal trouble, and was ultimately sentenced to 25 years in prison as a result of California’s ‘Three Strikes’ law.

He’s still in prison today, but in the late ’90s he changed his name to ‘Charley Charles,’ because sure, why not.

When his son was 19, he visited Charles in prison, apparently reading a prepared statement to him:

‘Charles, you are not my father. You are an impostor. Parents don’t hinder their children from experiencing a normal childhood. I wish that you could experience the trauma and pain that I have gone through.’

Afterward, David told the press, ‘He wanted me to know that he loved me. The last thing I said was, “No you don’t.” And I walked out.’

In a somewhat bizarre turn, David later legally changed his own name to ‘Dave Dave,’ mirroring the ‘Charley Charles’ name his father adopted. I have no idea if this is coincidental somehow, but the irony is not lost on me, that’s for sure.

Unfortunately Dave Dave himself passed away last year, at the age of 42 — his ongoing medical issues, which were the result of his burn injuries, eventually killed him.

So, yeah. I called it — Charles was harboring something dark when he was getting free fries for my friends and telling the girls how pretty they were. I just had no idea HOW dark.”

10. Totally Called It!

“In high school, my best friend’s little sister (16 at the time) brought home her new 18 year old boyfriend from work to meet the family. I was over at the time and talked to him for a while because we were the same age. After meeting him, I realized something was off. I got the impression that 1) He was much older than claiming 2) had been in jail.

I wound up saying something to my friend, who told his parents and sister.

Long story short, the family freaked out on me for spreading rumors that weren’t true, telling me to mind my own business, etc…

Two years later, the sister comes home from a date with him in tears. He finally came out and admitted to her that 1) He was 30, not the now 20 he was saying 2) He had spent 2 years in prison, but refused to say for what.

I was very quick to point out to the family how I called this years earlier and was basically shamed out of their house.”

9. Always Get A Second Opinion!

“My husband is super medically fragile – he’s had cancer twice and a bone marrow transplant in the last 9 years.

A few years ago, he had surgery on his wrist and I had a gut feeling he was brewing an infection despite being on antibiotics. His surgeon’s office saw him and switched the antibiotics. I contacted the cancer center because I just knew it was going to become more. They blew me off and punted back to the surgeon’s office.

I knew this was beyond the surgeon’s scope.

I pitched a tantrum fit and pretty much told them they were going to see them and I wasn’t accepting no for an answer. The triage phone nurse was condescending and telling me it was probably nothing and could wait. We got to the clinic and the nurse there started looking around the incision site. She told me that she believed my gut and pushed to admit him.

The CT showed a huge infection that landed him in the hospital for a week on potent IV antibiotics with another surgery to clean out the site.”

8. Super Creep

“When I was in sixth grade, I became friends with a couple other girls in my neighborhood. We each had completely different backgrounds, but we just clicked. For years, we three did all the things good friends do. The only thing I, personally, didn’t like was to stay over at the house of one of these girls, I’ll call her Brianna. I’d sleep over at the other girl’s house, they could sleep at mine, but I always came up with an excuse not to stay at Brianna’s.

She started to get her feelings hurt but I ignored it.

Then when we were all about 16 we all sat around drinking, like teenagers do. We got into a little debate about who is better friends with who, and I was somehow accused of not ‘liking’ Brianna as much as the other friend because I wouldn’t spend much time at her house. Since I had zero filter at that moment, I blurted out, ‘Brianna. It isn’t you. It’s your dad. He’s a child predator, I can tell just by looking at him.’

As soon as I said it, everything changed. I apologized, that didn’t work of course. Both of my best girlfriends dumped me that day. I still had a solid best friend, but I had to get myself a new group for sure. Also, they started bullying me a bit, but I just took it because of the horrible thing I said about Brianna’s dad. I felt super guilty.

Three years later, I was out of high school, living with my best friend who was still friends with Brianna.

I got home from class and there was Brianna sitting on the living room couch. It was SO uncomfortable. I decided to try to apologize again. ‘Hey, I know you are probably sick of hearing this, but I am so very sorry for what I said about your dad, Brianna. Please forgive me, I still don’t know why I’d say such a thing.’

She sort of chuckled and said, ‘It’s no big deal, he assaulted all of us.’

I never questioned my intuition again, because I called it the second I saw that creep.”

7. Bridal Woes

“Remember the Runaway Bride? Not the movie, the actual woman?

Well, there was a woman who was ‘kidnapped’ before her wedding (maybe a couple days before, if I’m not mistaken), and the whole world started looking for her. If I remember correctly, she was able to make a phone call to her family and she told them she was kidnapped by some ‘Mexicans.’ As soon as she said that, I knew she was lying. Whenever people specify a race when explaining a crime, my ears perk up, but I understand why she did it.

People will believe it.

Either way, my girlfriend at the time got so mad at me saying, ‘You always think you know it all! This woman was kidnapped and all you can do is think of something to be right about! Have some compassion.’

Couple days later, guess who shows up?

Apparently she didn’t wanna get married and decided to get ‘kidnapped’ rather than call it off. Luckily the state made her pay back all the money they spent to search for her, but of course, no jail time.

I never said ‘I told you so’ to my girlfriend, but I know she was waiting for it by how she was acting, didn’t speak much, acted aloof.

So we never spoke of it after.”

6. Live That Single Life!

“The first paramour my mom met was this guy from a city about an hour and a half drive from us on a less than reputable dating site. Soon she started dating him and promptly gave him a key to her house. DUMB, right? So she’s my mom and I respect her, but at the same time, I want to keep her safe. I meet the guy and can instantly tell there’s something not quite right about him. He was nice to me but he seemed unnaturally shy and would rarely make eye contact with me.

And he would always try to buy my affection. As they continued to date, my mom would get mad at me for being cold to him. And of course I couldn’t articulate why I felt the way I did. Fast forward about a year, they are married. She finds out he has been sneaking out in the middle of the night to meet women. She divorced him and he knocked up some woman half his age.

So then she meets this guy, on the SAME SITE.

I met him and he seemed nice enough. Way more personable and outgoing but something still seemed off about this guy. He told my mom he was 52. Also, he told her he was in the Navy and was a SEAL. Obviously I was skeptical because SEALs don’t have to brag about being SEALs and he really didn’t seem the personality. Fortunately for me, one of my best friends’ step-dad was a legitimate Navy SEAL. I asked my mom’s boyfriend some details about it (when he served, his BUD/S class, etc.).

My friend’s step-dad has access to BUD/S class records and this dude is nowhere to be found. Told my mom and called the dude out on it, he folded and admitted he was in the Navy but lied about being a SEAL to impress the both of us. Not only that, but I get on this court records website the courts in our area use and find out he is not 52, but 60!

Mom is currently doing just fine living the single life.”

5. Sketchy AF

“After breaking up with my first girlfriend, she rebounded with a very sketchy dude at her work. Within a month, he was living with her and she had become a completely different person. I tried warning her she was being gaslit and manipulated. Her friends tried. But the dude had his teeth sunk in too deep and she was not listening to any of us.

After 6 months, he dropped the act and made up an elaborate story about his mother (who he had previously said died of cancer) having faked her death and being alive in California.

So he left for a week at which point he stopped all contact with my ex. She panicked and came to me saying she was worried. And within days, his entire construction fell like a house of cards, and it became clear he wasn’t coming back. He had gotten what he needed. My ex was devastated. I always did have a bad feeling about him.”

4. This Is A Rollercoaster Ride

“A few years ago, a friend of mine had gotten caught up in the ‘letgo’ app (like ebay and tinder had a baby). He found a crazy good deal on an Audi and wanted to check it out. I was apprehensive about the low price and how it was advertised in a lower income community. He told me not to worry and invited me to come along to check it out.

My friend was texting the seller throughout the day trying to make this deal happen.

He, his girlfriend, and I went to the seller’s house to check out this car. We couldn’t see the car anywhere and figured it was in a garage or something. We arrive at the house of the seller and we’re greeted by a young guy (early 20s) dressed in laid back, lazy day on the couch, bum-around the house basketball shorts and t shirt. At this moment, I knew something was up.

We hop out of our car and the seller leads us to the back yard of this little suburban house with no garage, but a shed – ALMOST wide enough to fit a car…

The seller says that the car is in the shed and his brother has the key. He begins to walk up the steps to the back door and from around the corner of the house pops out a thin guy with a hoodie and a ski mask on. His right hand is hidden behind the lining of his hoodie but is posturing that he has a weapon and is ready to shoot.

We all freeze.

Not because we’re paralyzed with fear, but because the absurdity of the moment.

It’s 2:30 in the afternoon on a bright sunny day in a modest suburb in everyday America, and here we are getting robbed.

I look at the seller and see the weakest surprised face I’ve ever seen. It was clear to me that this was a set up and we bit the hook. But luckily for us, these two guys were the laziest fishermen in the state.

We didn’t move an inch, we stood calmly and silently thinking the same thought: ‘If he actuality has a weapon, then we can panic.’

We stood there for a few seconds waiting for the ski mask to engage us and make his move, but he just stood there at the corner of the house! After about 30 seconds of silence, the ski mask dipped back behind the house and I urged us to leave. We pile back into our car and head back home.

Now, this should be a near miss story, and you all are waiting for the ‘I called it!’

You see, on the car ride home, my friend was trying to get back in touch with the seller!

He didn’t believe that the whole situation was a set up, and that we got out of it untouched because of the ineptitude of those guys. He kept texting him and told us to pull over at a gas station so he could try to get this Audi.

I sat and argued with him for literally 58 minutes, explaining that this car, this price, this seller, all of it, was a lie to try and rob us. I said, ‘We got lucky and avoided getting robbed or hurt or killed and now you want to go back and put the SAME HOOK IN YOUR LIP!?’

My friend argued that even a chance at a car at this low a price was worth it. ‘If I can arrange for this deal to happen somewhere in public, then I can get this car!’ He texted something to that effect to the seller and didn’t get a response. My friend started the car back up and we went home.

Later that evening, I was with my family watching the local news, and who should pop on screen? A mugshot of the guy who was ‘selling an Audi.’

He was caught by the police later that day for trying the exact same trick! I sent my friend a screen shot of the mugshot with the message:

‘Look, it’s your boy!’”

3. Preggers

“In Canada, we have a holiday called Family Day in February. In 2008, my wife was dealing with a sick family member out of town, and had come back for a visit.

We were trying to have a child at the time. Well, with our crazy schedules, we had one chance and it was on Family Day.

The moment we were done, I jumped up, gave her the double thumbs up (first time in my life) and said, ‘Bam! You’re pregnant.

Twin girls, red hair.’ Turns out I got everything right except the hair, her Italian genes beat me in that one.

I win for our entire marriage with that prediction.”

2. Lost And Never Found

“In college, I went to a theme park with my boyfriend, right before I moved away to California. He has really bad eyesight and had just gotten brand new glasses, I believe they were very expensive. As we’re going up the stairs in line for a roller coaster, I said, ‘Hey, why don’t you give me your glasses and I’ll stick them in my purse.’

He said, ‘Nah, it’ll be fine.’

And I said, ‘Are you sure? You’re making an expensive bet where if you win you just get to keep what you already have.’

And he said, ‘The forward momentum of the roller coaster will keep them on my face.’ So I thought, he’s an adult, whatever.

Literally first drop of the roller coaster I hear him yell over the roar of the wind, ‘DO YOU HAVE MY GLASSES???’ so we spent the next hour walking around the base of the roller coaster looking for them and leaving a report at the lost and found booth.

I then had to drive us home in his SUV, which I had never driven before, because I did not want him navigating blind.”

1. Blame Canada!

“When I was 19, my girlfriend and I, along with another friend of ours, took a road trip up to Toronto to visit a friend of ours who lived there during the summer. It was my first time leaving the United States since I came here when I was 3 years old, so I was excited.

We were there to see our friend but we had also heard that in Toronto they have these ‘novelty ID’ shops where you could get a fake ID from a U.S.

state. She was starting college in a few months, and I would be joining her the next semester, so we wanted to have fake IDs to be able to buy for ourselves.

We went into the city one day and found one of these shops. It was pretty crazy, they had a whole book of sample IDs featuring every state and also some other random novelty IDs. We heard from someone that Michigan was the one that looked the realest, so we made ours from there.

We paid them they gave us a form where we basically filled in all the info except an address. I told my girlfriend to make sure she got the year right, since she could be absent-minded sometimes and she said, ‘Yeah, yeah I got it, make sure you got your’s right.’

They took a picture for the ID and then handed me a Michigan State hoodie. Part of the cost included a second form of ID, in this case a college ID, and by wearing the hoodie it gave the illusion that the pictures were taken on different days.

After a short wait we had our two IDs and were set to be able to buy back in the US.

We get in the car and are about to drive back to our friend’s house. I ask my girlfriend to see her ID because I wanted to see if her address was the same as mine or if they used random ones. As I’m looking at her ID I notice that the year on hers is wrong. I told her, ‘Babe, you got the year wrong. This says you’re 20, not 21.’

She laughed and said, no it doesn’t, and grabbed the ID from me. She stared at the ID for a few seconds and then her smile turned into a scowl. She didn’t say another word for the rest of the ride back and I was trying so hard to hold back my laughter because I knew something like that was gonna happen.”

Got a moment or situation like this that you totally called? Ever get that nagging, gut feeling?

Well, you know what to do, right?

Share your story in the comments!

The post People Share the Times Their Gut Feelings Turned out to Be All Too True appeared first on UberFacts.

14 Times Parents Gave Babysitters Really Weird Rules to Follow

Babysitting can be a weird job. For many teens, it’s their first job, and it’s actually incredibly important. Taking care of somebody’s kids is not a small job… so why is the pay often less-than-spectacular?

Add on to that the fact that parents often leave lengthy lists for babysitters, covering things like feeding times and routines and screen time. Sometimes parents are a little over the top, though. These 15 babysitters told reddit the strangest rules parents gave them:

1. Severe allergy

Not necessarily a rule but the first time I went to their house they told me about their daughter’s very serious peanut allergy, walked me through the epi pen, prevention, phone numbers of their neighbors who were doctors- all fine so far. I took this very seriously. But then the mother put her hands on my shoulders and said “if she dies we wouldn’t blame you. It wouldn’t be your fault”. While I appreciate the thought this freaked me the hell out and I was 100 times less comfortable

2. Seems sketchy

The mom had me put her kids in their car seats and sit in the driveway with all the car doors open while she just hung out inside the house. 5 hours of me standing in the driveway watching them sit inside their car. Never returned.

Edit: I meant I never returned to babysit for her again, not that the mother mysteriously disappeared.

As for people asking why I didn’t take them somewhere, she specifically asked me to just sit in the driveway with them. I also didn’t have my drivers license yet so I couldn’t have taken them anywhere even if I wanted to. The kids were twins who were 4 years old, I think. They were weirdly, weirdly well behaved and didn’t complain about what we were doing. To this day I have no idea what she was doing inside or why she didn’t just let them play in the yard. I am just as confused as you.

3. Still in diapers at 6?

I had to change the kids cloth diaper every 2 hours on the dot. The kid was 6. I assumed it was for some sort of disability or something, but no. His parents just didn’t want to potty train him, and the kid was content with being babied. I remember just making the kid put his own diaper on and encouraged him to use the bathroom if he had to go. I never went back.

4. Bribery works

On the opposite end of the spectrum, The family gave me instructions to let their kids drink chocolate milk, which they were otherwise not allowed to have. I think they wanted their kids to associate baby sitter time with fun time, so the parents could go out more often. Seemed to work out well for them, the kids both grew up to be successful people.

5. Uh, no

Asked me to drive their three year old twins around in my personal vehicle for 2.5 hours because “that’s the only way they can nap”.

No. I simply put the kids in their beds, closed the door, and they were asleep in 15 minutes.

6. A bottle?

To give him warm milk in a baby bottle right after every dinner – he was a fully functional 10 year old boy.

Edit: To answer some of the quesions: Yes, he was fine with it; His parents were otherwise normal (as far as I saw), the kid himself was great; His teeth seemed fine from what I can remember (not that I really would have paid attention to that back then), but I just found him on facebook and it looks like he did have braces around 14-15 years old

7. Sleepy CD

I had to put the kids to sleep with the CD player going. That wasn’t the weird part.

It was a recording of their parents basically going “Molly, you are wonderful. You are a star. You’re going to shine bright.” That isn’t super weird…But it was like several hours long, and apparently they listened to it every night.

8. Let him out

“If Brady stands by the door it just means he needs to go out. Open the door, and let him back inside in a few minutes.”

Brady was a four year old boy.

9. No Fleetwood Mac

OMG thanks for asking because you reminded me of a weird thing.

The 3 year old daughter HAD to watch this vhs tape of a live Fleetwood Mac concert before bed.

I was like, okay cute , that’s adorable, 3 year olds love the weirdest things she’s so quirky and this will be fun.

But she didn’t love it. She always wanted to watch land before time instead. But it was always on the note left for me. Like /pager number, pediatrician, chicken soup for dinner is in fridge and, and WATCH FLEETWOOD MAC at 630 before bed/

Obviously the family eventually found out I wasn’t making her watch it, as I had no fucking reason to believe it was a secret. They were clearly upset by this and I was never called back to babysit.

So that was weird…

10. A stomach of steel

No hot sauce after 9pm.

Edit: To give some context, the kid LOVED hot sauce…but his folks were super over protective…maybe they had heard of ppl eating too much hot sauce an throwing it up as it would not settle?

Honestly the kid was made of solid steel…we went to Taco Bell pretty much every time I babysat.

11. This is a test

Wasn’t a rule, but on my first day they sent over an adult male friend of theirs who asked to come in. I said no, and was then told I was being tested and I had passed.

12. Not staying for a home birth

Hippy family. The two year old had no bedtime and no rules. “She can eat what she wants, no bedtime, and if she falls asleep, leave her wherever she crashed.” The parents came home at 2:30 to a toddler eating chocolate cake on the couch with her preferred American Pickers on tv. That’s fine apparently.

6 months later the mom is very pregnant and asks that when the baby is born, if I could wrangle the toddler while the mom gives birth in a bathtub at home. The two year old was to be in the room, watching, while I explain what’s happening. I left that evening when the parents came home (fried chicken in the toddlers hand, Keeping Up with the Kardashians on tv) and denied their next request to come sit. As a 20 year old, I wasn’t prepared to see the mess of someone else’s home birth!

13. Seems oddly specific

I was told that the only thing she specifically wasn’t allowed to do was eat a bowl of sugar

14. I heard you the first time

I used to babysit for this family when I was in high school (in the 80s) and they had no books or reading material of any kind, except that there would usually be like two sections of the WSJ and a running magazine lying around. No. Books.

Anyway, once I went over there and the mom told me like nine times, BEGGED ME, not to eat the box of ‘Nilla Wafers that was in the cupboard because she needed them for a recipe the next day. BEGGED. I was like, “Ok, got it. They’re totally safe because I don’t even like vanilla wafers!” She kept mentioning it, and it was the first thing she asked me about when they got home.

The post 14 Times Parents Gave Babysitters Really Weird Rules to Follow appeared first on UberFacts.

16 Tweets That Accurately Capture the Struggle of Adulthood

“Youth is wasted on the young.”

I often think about this quote when I ride in to work every day and consider what I’ve done with my life. Because we had all that time! And what did we do with it? Eat gummy fruits and watch reruns? Why wasn’t I investing in stocks?!

Thankfully, there’s Twitter. Where comedians hang out and tweet funny shit that we can all relate to.

Let’s have fun.

16. I scream! And… that’s it. I just scream.

15. MINE!

14. Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? A: An employee, apparently.

13. Drugs help.

12. So much me. So much.

11. I didn’t ask for this!

10. 4 hours at least. 6 hours at the most.

9. What a pain!

8. Why doesn’t anybody stop me from doing these things?!

7. Time works differently now.

6. OMG. This is so true!

5. Too expensive!

4. Can I hire a domineering mom for another 5 years?

3. I read lots of Böökes

2. Stop jumping! I want to get back on my feet!

1. Wait… how much is THAT?

Now that was some good adulthood! I feel MUCH better about ALL my choices.

What do you think? Do you struggle with being all grown up and stuff?

Let us know in the comments!

The post 16 Tweets That Accurately Capture the Struggle of Adulthood appeared first on UberFacts.

13 Memes That Show Us Why Australia Might Be Better Than the USA

Have you ever been down under? Because things there are pretty awesome.

  • First, that accent is amazing… especially when it comes to making people more attractive. It’s like an English accent, but sexier. I get the shivers just thinking about it.
  • Second, the weather and the beaches… wow. Enough said.
  • Third, the way they respond to tragedies actually makes sense! Who would have thunk it?

So, without further ado, here are 14 times Aussies got the upper hand on the United States, and there’s not much we can do about it.

1. Colors equals value with their currency… so no need to look at numbers!

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Speaking of money, look at all those cute animals on their coins!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Two words: Chicken Salt. It’s better than ANY other salt.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. They never get in conversations like this…

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Yeah… why is it ROOMmate?

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. No tipping means no worries…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Lots of subsidized education means that student loans aren’t NEARLY as bad…

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Gravy the way gravy should look… brown NOT grey…

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. No fake cheese. No canned cheese. Just REAL cheese.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Metric system is soooooooo much better!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Hershey’s has ruined chocolate for the US. #truth

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. Aussies know how to Kmart, but our Kmarts don’t even know how to Kmart.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Aussie coffee is REALLY good, so none of that shit is needed.

Photo Credit: Whisper

Alright, who wants to go Australia with me? Because I’m getting on the next flight.

Anybody been? Let us know in the comments! We want to commune with all your mindz!

The post 13 Memes That Show Us Why Australia Might Be Better Than the USA appeared first on UberFacts.

13 Memes About the White Claw Sensation That Is Sweeping the Nation

Have you heard about the White Claw train?

Oh, you have! So I don’t have to explain it’s basically alcoholic water with some CO2 mixed in? Yeah, we’re putting liquor in water instead of the other way around. That’s what we’ve come to these days because of calories and waist lines and things like that.

Here are 13 delicious tweets about the drink that has no laws…

1. It’s holy AF!

2. No, I don’t want to see your sleeve tattoo

3. If this is your first night at White Claw Club… you have to fight

4. The evolution of trash water…

5. OMFG!

6. Oh… you fancy!

7. Actually, I’d listen!

8. Rachel… come on now…

9. Everybody’s doing it…

10. Blessed be the lord of boozy seltzer…

11. You know what… yes. Accurate.

12. No. Not at all. Ever.

13. Yeah, guys ruin every damn thing…

I think we can all agree it definitely was the summer of White Claw, but will the trend keep going?

Well, they just introduced this…

Why? Because they hate us all, that’s why.

Alright, leave your thoughts in the comments, because we’re sure you have PLENTY…

The post 13 Memes About the White Claw Sensation That Is Sweeping the Nation appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Confess to the Deepest, Darkest Secrets They’re Hiding Right Now

Secrets can be terrible to have but delicious to hear about – as long as they have nothing to do with you.

So, sit back and relax, and enjoy the fact that none of these bombshells are gathering anxiety in your closet.

15. Dank memes.

“That the girl I’m currently dating and beginning a relationship with started messaging me on Facebook because she liked the memes I posted so much. We had never met and she thought I was cute and really funny, so she initiated things.

We tell people that we met by being introduced by her sister-in-law. I have no idea who her sister-in-law is, and have only met her a couple of times.

Everyone asks “how did you meet?” and we’re too embarrassed to tell the truth about dank memes and her pursuing me as a result.”

14. I was such an idiot.

“I’m very embarrassed to admit that I’m hurt over this so I haven’t told anyone. I was talking to someone for a few months and turns out, he has a girlfriend he never mentioned. We went on dates, kissed, and finally had sex.

Told me he’s working on ending the relationship but can’t right now because it’s complicated. Sounds like bullshit. I don’t want to tell my closest family and friends because I was such an idiot.”

13. The next best time.

“I bought the ring, I’m just waiting for a good time. Our vacation out of country is coming up but I don’t know how easy it will be to get a very expensive piece of jewelry with me without her noticing so I’m trying to find the next best time to propose.”

12. A stupid game.

“My gf, her friend, and I went out for mini golfing. I had the score card. I got second and my gf got third, but I botched the numbers and put her as second and me as third.

She was jumping up and down excited she beat me for the rest of the day, and even brought it up the next day.

I’m very happy my secret could make her this happy, even if just for a little bit over a stupid game.”

11. It’s the medicine.

“That i’m taking antidepressants. everyone thinks I’ve gotten my shit together on my own. but it’s the medicine that is keeping me going.”

10. A massive bill.

“When I was about 16, 3-way prank calling was a thing. If you 3-way called someone that person could call someone and on and on.

We had a line party of about 10 or so people. I was feeling bored and 3-way called a fetish porn line which played the introductory message for the whole party who thought it was hilarious.

1-800-WET-FART, 1-800-FAT-LADY, etc etc…

When the phone bill came it reflected a charge of 99 cents for each call I had made.

It was a massive bill.

My mom had no idea it was me. She got the charges removed and I’m glad I never had to explain why her 16 year old daughter was calling those numbers.

Edit The charges were likely from using the 3-way feature I’m not sure. I believe it was free to call the numbers. The numbers still showed up on the phone bill. My mom called the very first number on the bill and it was my friends grandmas house. The lady told her she didn’t have kids in the house. After that my mom dropped it and assumed the “wires got crossed”. Thankfully she never dialed any of the 1-800 numbers.”

9. I really miss her.

“I still really miss my ex, and nothing in my life has come close to filling that void. The thing is, we had a connection from day one and the relationship was really good and just flowed well. It was such an abrupt ending that I think I’m still in shock. We tried to stay friends, but it didn’t work out (mainly because I was still hurting at the time), and I really miss her.”

8. Literal decades.

“People used to confide in me who they had crushes on back in elementary school, I have been keeping that shit under wraps for literal decades now.”

7. He deserves a break.

“I bought my boyfriend tickets to see his favorite NFL team for his birthday. I’ve already got everything set and his boss will let him take the days off. He’s a hard worker and deserves a break.

Hopefully he likes it!”

6. We just don’t know how.

“My wife an I lost our unborn child 3 weeks ago. We still cant tell our family or friends. We just don’t know how.”

5. Stuck doing it.

“The one place I deliver to thinks I have Tourettes. About 5 months ago I started a job being a beer delivery driver. My first day on my route I was delivering to a gas station and there was an Utz snack truck ahead of me delivering as well.

So I’m standing outside my truck waiting to deliver and being bored I started saying Utz to myself in a weird fast way over and over again (pretty much how a samurai would say it I guess). I turn around and there is the manager of the gas station giving me a weird look. My dumbass thought it was a good idea to keep saying it to make him believe I have this weird tick of saying the word Utz. Even filling out his order for him I would throw in Utz. So I get in my truck and think to myself what the fuck did I just do and start cracking up. So for the past couple months everytime I deliver there I throw out the word Utz every couple sentences then get in my truck and start cracking up.

That might make me a shitty person but I’m pretty much stuck with doing it until I find a new job or route.”

4. In 2 and 1/2 years.

“I’m buying my mother a plane ticket to Salt Lake City for Christmas to visit my two brothers who live there one of which she hasn’t seen in 2 1/2 years.”

3. I hate it here.

“I’m studying to take the bar in another state with much better job prospects. I want to leave this state (have never lived anywhere else) because I hate it here. I will be far, far away from any family in the new state.

My family will freak. I’ve always been the one everyone goes to when shit needs fixed. My siblings have all done jack shit for my parents all of their lives. It’s always been my job. I’m bitter, and I want to force them to pick up some of the slack.

Plus, I want to live in a city that actually has stuff to do – not BFE where no one wants to be and everything shuts down at 4:30 pm.”

2. I can’t wait!

“My husband’s 40th birthday is next week. I’ve got tons of surprises planned — concert tickets, football game tickets, surprise party, lots of great gifts— but best of all— his entire family is coming into town to celebrate. I can’t wait! Shhh.”

1. Worst part of it all.

“There was a fly on our large (like $2000+) living room window, and my 3 year old daughter informed me of this. From my natural reflexes, I went to go smack it dead.

It must be noted I got married a few short weeks before this, and wearing a wedding ring was still new to me. Also, I picked a tungsten carbide ring. Yes, one of the heavy beasts.

The initial sound of the metal on glass was enough to realize I fucked up bad. I left a small dent in that glass, not as bad as it could have been. Enough for me to notice, but not too noticeable unless you look for it.

Worst part of it all, I didn’t kill the fly.”

Got any secrets you want to get off your chest? That’s what the comments section is for. Don’t worry, we won’t share it with anybody else.

The post 15 People Confess to the Deepest, Darkest Secrets They’re Hiding Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.