Category: Lifestyle

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Tweets That Remind Us We Have No Idea What Day It Is Right Now

The great Grouch Marx once said, “Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.” If you don’t get it at first go back and read it a few more times. It’s a delightfully confusing quote about time that keeps rolling through my head in an era when nobody, including me, seems to have any idea where we are chronologically, ever.

At least the people on Twitter are being funny about it. Here’s 14 examples of tweets about how we’re all sort of lost in the wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey stuff.

14. The 8 Commandments

Yeah I think I remember these from The Bible.

13. Days’d and confused

If my phone breaks I think I’ll actually lose my soul.

12. A Planner Darkly

Failing to plan is planning to fail.

11. Thank God it’s whatever

We can start drinking even earlier! Or later? I don’t know how it works now.

10. The days are years

We need a whole new set of idioms.

9. Time is relative

It’s always now.

8. Public service announcement

Quit trying to take Rebecca Black’s job, she has this ONE THING.

7. It slows

I don’t know what “take your time” even means anymore.

6. Eternal matrimony

For as long as you both shall live.

5. Hot take

Whoa there buddy, I’m on Twitter to have a good time.

4. I hate Mondays

I wonder how Garfield feels about this latest revelation.

3. Digital fatigue

Even our robot butlers are bored.

2. Show-offs

Nobody likes a bragger.

1. Oh no…

But the other tweet said…ah, nevermind.

Maybe it’s time to invest in the sundial market. That seems about as sensible as anything else right now!

Oh, also, what day is it?

Tell us in the comments. We genuinely don’t know.

The post Tweets That Remind Us We Have No Idea What Day It Is Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Handyman Made the Secret Boozy Staircase of Our Drunken Dreams

What would you include in your dream home? A pool? A library? Maybe something entirely novel?

Consider this idea. Murray Berrill of Murray Berril Constructions in Victoria, Australia has made quite a splash on social media with an unusual staircase that holds a delightful hidden secret.

Posted by Murray Berrill Constructions on Wednesday, April 1, 2020

The handyman custom-made the stairs for his sister’s home, and included a wonderfully creative surprise. You can see what appear to be drawers built into the stairs throughout. A clever storage solution, maybe?

Posted by Murray Berrill Constructions on Wednesday, April 1, 2020

But these drawers aren’t for just any purpose. Each one is designed as a sort of segmented wine-rack; the stairs double as a wine cellar. (Insert bad joke about a 12 step program here.)

Posted by Murray Berrill Constructions on Wednesday, April 1, 2020

With all 12 drawers combined, the staircase can hold more than 150 wine bottles, which would be impressive for any storage area, much less one so cleverly hidden away.

Ah, that's looking better Shaun and Trilby langdon

Posted by Murray Berrill Constructions on Saturday, April 18, 2020

Lovers of both booze and interior design spread the post like wildfire, and soon Berrill was doing segments with local news stations like WIN in Victoria.

He told WIN,

“It’s a matter of being smart, and utilizing your space, so that you’ve actually got a lot of good storage, but you don’t have to have a huge house.”

And Berrill joked about the capacity of these steps…

“If you start at the bottom and work your way up, I doubt you’ll get to the top.”

What do you think? Would you put one of these in your home if you could? Would you modify it in some way?

Tell us in the comments!

The post A Handyman Made the Secret Boozy Staircase of Our Drunken Dreams appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Very Honest Texts about Couples

Good relationships are built on honesty. I’m not sure if that means the kind of radical, no-holds-barred honesty found in the posts collected by @weshouldbreakup on Instagram, but if so, maybe these screenshots are from the healthiest couples ever? I hope? I doubt?

Either way they’re pretty funny. Have a look at a few examples of romantic partners being oddly up front with each other in the way only a long-term relationship can really produce. Fair warning: a weirdly high number of them are about poop, for some reason.

15. Romance isn’t dead

Feelings aren’t the only thing I’m holding in.

View this post on Instagram

ROMANCE IS ALIVE

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14. Honestly erotic

Frank sex negotiations get me so hot and bothered.

View this post on Instagram

Romance is alive and well

A post shared by Unspirational (@weshouldbreakup) on

13. Bath bomb

I both do and do not want to know the context of this one.

View this post on Instagram

Why

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12. Formulaic love story

You can’t argue with math.

View this post on Instagram

Is this real science. Vote yes or no

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11. Talk dirty to me

Let’s taco bout sex, baby.

View this post on Instagram

?????

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10. My number 2 priority

Wait so…what exactly happened here?

View this post on Instagram

You’re my #2

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9. A matter of perspective

Through a mirror darkly.

8. Early riser

We’re off schedule.

View this post on Instagram

some people are morning people. some people are not

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7. A bright idea

I can’t tell if this is cute or scary.

6. TP-cal

Repeal and replace.

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This is grounds for divorce

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5. Peanut butter jealous time

There are some lines you just don’t cross.

4. Conflicting visions

Well that took a turn.

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this is going well

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3. A quiet place

You’re*, dammit.

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HOW ABOUT HULU AND SHUT THE FUCK UP

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2. Chicks’n’sandwich

You’ll come crawling back once Sunday rolls around.

View this post on Instagram

Chick-Fil-Bae

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1. Big sad energy

When you just know each other so well.

View this post on Instagram

Honesty is key

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It’s sort of heartwarming? I guess? In a funny way. Better to be able to honestly say weird things to each other than have to hide who you are. So, they’ve got that going for them. Which is nice.

What’s the funniest exchange you’ve had with your partner lately?

Tell us about it in the comments.

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Everybody’s Drinking on Zoom Now and We’re Totally Here for It

Can’t go to happy hour? You’ve always got the internet to keep you company while you’ve got a drink in your hand. Specifically Zoom, the video platform which has surged in popularity and found itself host to an unexpected array of makeshift online bars and parties.

It’s a phenomenon probably nobody would have predicted, but here we are. And Twitter is talking about it. A LOT.

14. Come on and Zoom

Brought to you by viewers like you.

13. Pace yourself

Or brace yourself.

12. Broadcast slumber

It’s like an accidental self-Truman Show.

11. Nothing to wine about

Hey, I can’t give you any good Riesling not to.

10. Party foul

Did you at least do it off camera?

9. Never grow up

The times they are a’changing.

8. Life as we know it

Leggo my ego.

7. The hangover

Welcome home?

6. White claws

Hey all you cool cats and kittens!

5. Drink & Ink

Gonna come out of this with some fresh tats.

4. Blanket statements

Hey, to each their own.

3. Cried and prejudice

When there’s nobody to hang out with in the afterglow.

2. Internal clocks

According to my watch, it’s tomorrow.

1. Reach for the stars

I guess this counts as trying out some new things?

Maybe this trend will become the new normal. If so, I’d like to claim a position as a virtual bartender. I won’t actually serve anybody drinks but I’ll take a rag and constantly wipe down my desk while saying things like “tell me about it” and “livin’ the dream!” I feel like that’s a service that needs to be filled, no matter the circumstance.

Have you had a drunk Zoom time?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Everybody’s Drinking on Zoom Now and We’re Totally Here for It appeared first on UberFacts.

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Tweets That Capture the Vibe of Our Wardrobe Choices Right Now

Even though the fashion industry is worth over a trillion dollars per year, if we all had our way, we’d probably just wear sweat pants and snuggies all the time. A lot of us have certainly learned that about ourselves, and many have taken to Twitter to express this inconvenient truth in hilarious ways.

Here are 13 examples of people who will never look at style choices the same way again.

13. All about me

Not caring what other people think is a lieeeeee.

12. Where to where?

Yanno maybe we never needed all those outfits.

11. Don’t be a scab

We’re all on strike from life, get in line.

10. Ready? FIGHT!

This is some subtle video game brilliance.

9. Lemons and lemonade

This joke has layers and it’s wonderful.

8. My big day

Why should you only get to wear it once, anyway?

7. Freedom

Burn that crap.

6. Denim deluxe

Well, look at Mr. Fancy Pants.

5. Keep it simple

And don’t even get me started on tying shoes.

4. My natural state

They mustn’t know this is the real me.

3. Changing standards

Look I don’t want to brag but I managed to clean an entire dish today.

2. Half asleep

The key to success is knowing you could totally go do stuff if you wanted to.

1. Don’t overpack

Again, the only conclusion I can come to here is that most of us just have way too many clothes.

If you happen to actually be wearing pants while reading this, I hope you enjoy your ivory towers, you elitist.

What’s your wardrobe been like lately?

Let us know in the comments.

The post Tweets That Capture the Vibe of Our Wardrobe Choices Right Now appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny About Everybody’s 2020 Wardrobe

Here’s a movie pitch: it’s like Toy Story except with clothes. A plucky wardrobe full of colorful characters have to team up to solve a mystery when, suddenly, nearly all of them stop being worn. I’d imagine that’s what a lot of our closets feel like, based on what people are saying on Twitter right now.

But while I’m looking for a producer who will finance this masterpiece, enjoy some tweets about what high fashion is like in 2020.

14. Lace-less

See, this is the inciting incident of the movie I was pitching.

13. Upper-crust

Oh, well, aren’t you just a fancy pants?

12. I am enough

Get out of here with that garbage.

11. RIP

Back in my day we paid good money for jeans like that.

10. Swim-where?

Weird motivational flex but OK.

9. Bye bye bags

The revolution has begun.

8. Camera angles matter

Bae caught me slippin’.

7. Winning

Don’t fly too close to the sun.

6. Beautiful lies

Come on Victoria’s Secret, who are you kidding?

5. Hat-itude

Don’t it always seem to go that you don’t know what you’ve got ’till it’s gone…

4. Don’t sweat it

Oh, look at Mr. “I have multiple pairs of sweat pants” over here.

3. Choking hazard

Butt weight, there’s more!

2. Creatures of habit

It helps me pretend things are normal.

1. At least you tried

The important thing is that you stop doing that.

So we’re all a little sloppy. Big deal. There are far worse fates. We could go back to JNCO jeans.

We don’t mean this in a creepy way, but like, what are you wearing?

Share and compare in the comments.

The post Funny About Everybody’s 2020 Wardrobe appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Treasurer Who Doesn’t Understand Money or Numbers Picked the Wrong Fight

Running a business or an organization can be really tough. There are many decisions to make and you can never be sure any of them will turn out to be the best. But in all the confusion, there are a few basic guiding principles that can help.

For instance, maintain clear and consistent communication. We can all think of a time in our lives when something went horribly, frustratingly wrong simply because someone wouldn’t listen.

That’s the kind of story posted by user omegaweapon on Imgur. She put it up under the name “Entitled treasure [sic] at a charity can’t comprehend how 10% works…. So I’m a thief.” Apparently, OP, who goes by Abs, was dealing with the treasurer of an organization she was renting to. A treasurer who, weirdly enough, does seem to understand much about money or…numbers.

And so we begin…

Chapter 1: Lock & Key

Chapter 1 – Part 2

Chapter 1 – Part 3

Chapter 2: This Was Always the Plan

Chapter 2 – Part 2

Chapter 2 – Part 3

Chapter 3: Sebastian

Chapter 3 – Part 2

Chapter 4: Math is Hard

Chapter 4 – Part 2

Chapter 4 – Part 3

Chapter 5: The Standoff

Chapter 5 – Part 2

Chapter 6: I Fought the Law

Chapter 6 – Part 2

Chapter 6 – Part 3

Chapter 7: Aftermath

Chapter 7 – Part 2

Chapter 7 – Part 3

I have my doubts that the man she talked to explained the situation any better than Abs did. I don’t even have anything to do with this situation and I understood what she was saying perfectly the first time. This is what happens when poor listeners back themselves into a corner and refuse to admit they were wrong, even as the evidence mounts. Do yourself a favor: when you’re wrong, just fess up, and move on. It’s…a lot less embarrassing in the long run.

Have you had to deal with someone like this?

Tell us your tales of woe in the comments.

The post A Treasurer Who Doesn’t Understand Money or Numbers Picked the Wrong Fight appeared first on UberFacts.

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Tweets From People Who Have Been Inside For Way Too Long

Are you feeling a little stir-crazy? You’re not alone. I mean…you’re not alone in spirit, anyway. Twitter is currently full to the brim of people bouncing off the walls, and the upside of all that madness is that we get to peek in and giggle along.

Enjoy these ten tweets from those toughing it out in Twitter territory.

10. We’re all on a break

Well no one told you life was gonna be this way *clap clap clap clap clap*…

9. Keep your distance

If everybody could just kinda stay away from me for the rest of my life that would be great.

8. Hibernation chub

If you’re getting ripped right now, honestly, stop it.

7. Siesta fiesta

Time doesn’t mean a hell of a lot anymore, really.

6. Financial planning

And just like that I was a bonafide adult.

5. Wilson!

I still cry every time.

4. Extroverts unite

Comin’ out of my cage and I’ve been doin’ just fine.

3. Sleep is for the week

Who’s gonna stop me? Nobody, that’s who.

2. Beer battles

Looks like we’ve got an entirely new “c word.”

1. Mom’s spaghetti

You only get one shot…to eat as much as you want with absolutely no judgement.

Life ain’t easy, but at least we’ve got the warm light of these tweets to bask in. Go forth and vent your frustration to the world; if you’re clever enough about it, people might actually enjoy it quite a bit. You could get internet famous just by being discontent!

Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter right now?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Tweets From People Who Have Been Inside For Way Too Long appeared first on UberFacts.

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Uplifting Memes That Made Us Feel a Little Bit Better

It’s tough out there right now. It’s good to take a break from all the negativity every once in a while and remind ourselves that, despite everything, the world really is quite full of uplifting stories and actions. A kind gesture, an encouraging word, a loving reminder; these all go quite a long way.

So let these 10 samples of wholesome make your heart a little lighter.

10. Joke or choke

There are little victories to be found every single day.

Source: someecards

9. Doggo attack

He’s so fluffy I’m gonna die.

Source: someecards

8. Ebony and ivory

I promise to love him forever and ever.

Source: someecards

7. Much love

You’re the best.

Source: someecards

6. Weight for it

Dude, it’s fine.

Source: someecards

5. Sergeant Pupper

Hi fren. Wat doin? I give camera a big important face.

Source: someecards

4. Type righter

“Like the ring around the sun, a crown.”

Source: someecards

3. Furball

This is a cute chunk of snow and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Source: someecards

2. There’s always tomorrow

Enjoy the present when you can, embrace the future always.

Source: someecards

11. Wheel feels

I wonder what’s going through his head?

Source: someecards

Hope you enjoyed those little bits of happiness. Take ’em with you for the rest of the day. Maybe go watch some Bob Ross. Remember there’s good in the world.

What’s something positive you’ve encountered lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Uplifting Memes That Made Us Feel a Little Bit Better appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes That Explain What’s Going on During These Trying Times

Raise your hand if your year is going exactly how you’d planned. If any of you have your hands raised right now, I have a long and very important series of questions, such as “How?” and “What are you hiding?”

I don’t think any of us are living the dream right now. But we are living the meme, by which I mean that there are, at least, some good memes to be had from this situation.

15. Like a good neighbor

She sounds hideous.

14. Follow your dreams

Anybody with a sweet dirt bike can’t be doing that bad.

13. Face your fears

But what if my nose itches?

12. Progression

I’m doing great, why do you ask?

11. Job search

“What would you say is your biggest weakness?”
“WHAT?”

10. In the money

Wow thanks I’m set for life.

9. One leg at a time

Yeah this is gonna be an uphill battle.

8. Food therapy

The hunger knows no bounds.

7. Get with the times

Gotta keep up with current trends.

6. In hiding

It puts the Gatorade in the basket.

5. Flying low

Well well well, how the turntables have…

4. Midnight snack

Whatever, nobody’s looking.

3. Happy hours

It’s always 5:00 now.

2. I not OK

(I promise.)

1. Proceed with caution

I’ve always been more of an indoor human anyway.

Hope these made you feel a little better about your day and your situation. Hang in there, we got this!

How are you holdin’ up?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Memes That Explain What’s Going on During These Trying Times appeared first on UberFacts.