First impressions can only happen once, so we put a lot of weight into them. Whether it be making a friend or interviewing for a job, it can effect the outcome of future relationships.
There’s a phenomenon called the “halo effect” where we associate perceived positive qualities about someone based on one quality of similar perception. For example, if your first impression of your coworker was they are kind and a good listener, you might go to them first when you need help with something.
Because there’s so much weight in these initial encounters, we wanted to know what things would absolutely ruin a first impression.
Redditor i_Fahmy asked:
“What instantly ruins someone’s first impression with you?”
Here’s some helpful hints that might help you on your next first date or interview.
Not asking questions.
“All statements, no questions. Most of the boring people I know aren’t interesting because they aren’t interested in anything other than themselves.” – GGAllinPartridge
“Asking questions is the easiest way to avoid the awkwardness of not having something to talk about.”
“Also a good way to have a long, thought provoking conversation.” – MurphyAteIt
“Knew someone like that. I’d call up and they’d spend the entire phone call talking about themselves. Before we stopped talking I can remember quite a few times ‘I’ve heard this before.’” – tmofee
Interruptions without apology.
“Interrupting without apologizing.” – lightningbug24
“I find myself doing this more and more, especially with zoom calls.”
“I just moved to a new part of the country where the pace of speech is so much slower than I’m used to. I feel like the sentence is coming to an end and then the thoughts just keep on rolling.” – Chill_Charro
“I find myself doing this sometimes but to ask questions/try to predict where the story is going as a way to show I’m actually listening instead of staring at my phone and saying ‘that’s crazy’ every 3 seconds.” – LittleMsSparkles
“I have a friend who does this constantly. I’ll be trying to tell her something and she’ll cut me off mid-sentence and start talking about a completely unrelated topic. Drives me insane.” – emshlaf
A “top that” attitude.
“One-upping someone else’s story.” – StructuralSynapse
“Oh man, you know what’s even worse than this? This one time I knew a guy who wouldn’t even let people finish their stories before interrupting them. Way worse.” – tehmlem
“I always worry as I used to tell stories in similar veins, not to one up but to try to show empathy and understanding. But it probably came off as arrogance. Now I just say I understand how that feels due to similar experiences.” – Mueryk
“It helps if you keep your story short and end it with a question about their story, prompting them to say more or continue.” – SmartAlec105
“Even if your story is bigger/louder/better etc. you can still share it, but it helps to circle back to the original story and re-focus on something unique about it.” – whitewallpaper76
Glorifying their struggles.
“People who use mental illness as a personality. I don’t mean people who struggle with mental illness, I mean the people who glorify the struggle as an excuse or quirky trait. I struggle myself, but I’ll be damned if I use it as an excuse to make people feel sorry for me.” – Nobodys_Perfect96
“I grew up with a father who used his depression to make us take pity on him and forgive his abusive behavior. Today I see some of my family did copy him on that (e.g. one of my sisters), and I notice very quickly people doing it. It really pulls me an inner trigger and makes me dislike the person immediately.” – kallyous
“My motto is ‘you should never be ashamed of your mental health issues, but you shouldn’t be proud of them either.’”
“By all means, take pride in the work you’ve done to live with, or overcome your issues, but not the issues themselves. The moment you make it ‘your thing’ you are A. passing the responsibility for dealing with the issue onto everyone else, and B. making it far more difficult for you to ever overcome the issue, as it would mean having to give up a part of yourself.” – trout_a_la_creme
“And people who try to blame their racism, sexism, etc. on their mental disorders! Like… No, Janice, your ADHD did not cause you to call Hua a racial slur!” – everylittlelie
Talking behind people’s backs.
“Talking sh*t about an ex, sibling or parent. As a first impression.” – Icy-Ad-7331
“Sh*t talking or gossiping about anyone in general. If someone is just meeting me for the first time and one of the first things they talk about is something that works to put others in a negative light, then that sets off major alarms to me.” – PianoManGidley
“Alternatively: DO talk about and praise all the cool people you are friends with. Makes you seem nice and those who are friends with interesting people are often pretty interesting themselves.” -MaxDamage1
Being rude as a joke.
“Being rude to service workers or being overfamiliar with me and being rude in the name of jokes. Yeah no f*ck off.” – Guilty_Strawberry247
“People making sh*tty/stupid jokes about me and thinking I’d find it funny (not noticing I don’t). It’s not that I can’t take a joke, but there is a difference about someone you know well making a joke which actually fits you, even if it hurts vs some person you barely know making a joke about you they think is totally you but is just weird.” – LanimationsD
“Sometimes I get nervous I might be too ‘nice’ what do you consider overfamiliar? I tend to respect personal space but what do you think is overfamiliar??” – kindadid
“Oh overfamiliar meaning like I meet you for the first time and you give me a nickname or start making jokes at my expense.” – Guilty_Strawberry247
“How people treat servers is a biggie. I had a first and last date with a guy who ordered a specific brand of beer, got said beer, and began to yell at the server that it was the wrong beer. Think asked for Coors, then yelled because he wanted a Yuengling. I noped the hell out after seeing that.” – Wynterborne
How they treat those around them.
“How they treat people who can’t do anything for them. Especially when they’re rude to the homeless or janitors.” – redboy2122
“I have also seen that in a social context ie people who mistreat those they consider ‘beneath’ them. I’ve seen it a lot from privileged people towards gays, immigrants and women.”– kindadid
“I hate this! Especially disrespecting homeless people simply because they’re homeless. They’re people! The deserve some respect and dignity.” -ChikaDeeJay
Showing a fake life online.
“Show offs, clout chasers or people who feel the need to overhype their life on social when in reality they live kinda boring lives.” – Vast-Dark-2711
“I used to work with a guy that was the epitome of this. Always had to act like he was the one in charge, had to act like the only reason any of the work was getting done was because of him, wanted to run his mouth about how he’d fight anyone and didn’t give a f*ck, always buying expensive sh*t that he couldn’t afford and trying to show it off.”
“It was kinda like, dude, you work at subway, you don’t have that much to be proud of. And yeah, that new truck you bought looks great, I bet it’ll look real good in two months when the repo man hauls it off.”
“I’ve never met a bigger douchebag in my life.” – timmyisserpico
What they do with their mouth.
“Chewing with their mouth open or talking with their mouth full.” – Westsidebill
“Oh my god this. In a similar vein, mouth breathers. The date is over if any of these three things mentioned occur. It’s so off putting.” – VulcanVegan
Invasive questions.
“If you don’t mind me asking (inset sexual question).’” – WrapAdministrative26
“And sexual jokes at the top of their voice for the whole restaurant to hear. So rude.” – Thewhatnow92
“Not like it’s any of my business…but have you tried anal? Just wondering lol. By the way, can you pass me salt, please? Thanks. So as I was saying, anal.” – javier_aeoa
Hopefully you never have to encounter people who do these types of things.
Though, maybe it’s best to know up front what they’re really like instead of who they want you to believe they are.
.”
” ~ Economy-Vanilla-967
“ -matuzo
“
(I used big boy cheats to give my character like 200 9th level spell slots and just steamrolled from one side of the game to the other just to get the story)” -Alouitious
