Category: life

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Ex-Racists Talk About What Changed Their Views

I’ve seen a few documentaries about people who used to hold hardcore r**ist views and how they completely changed their minds and decided to dedicate the rest of their lives to helping other people and spreading messages of peace and love.

And I think that if guys who used to be that into a r**ist subculture can do it, there’s hope for everyone out there.

AskReddit users who used to hold r**ist views talked about how and why they changed.

Let’s check out their stories.

1. A big lesson.

“The Army forced me to live with black people.

Turns out I didn’t h**e anyone, I was just afraid of what I didn’t understand and had some very stupid notions passed on to me from my dad and his dips**t friends.

I will forever be grateful for the opportunity to understand a greater sample of people than my tiny hometown afforded me.”

2. Changed for the better.

“From birth I was raised to be r**ist in a ra**ist household in Virginia. I was ignorant. I used the “N” word, antisemitic, h**ophobic, r**ist language everyday.

My immediate family and extended family all share the same ignorance. At family gatherings if one of my older cousins let slip they were dating someone new, the first question would be “Is s/he white?” Followed by laughter, but the question was serious.

Then I started middle school. 6th grade. On the first day of class I set down my backpack against the classroom wall (like every other student) while we found our desks and had a small Meet & Greet w/ new classmates. I made sure to only speak to the kids (white) whom I knew from elementary school.

Our teacher told us to take our seats. I’m 42 yrs old and I remember this like it was yesterday. I picked up my backpack, found my desk, before I could open my bag the girl behind me told me she liked my earrings, her Mom wouldn’t let her get her ears pierced until high school.

Then I heard another voice from further behind me say, “Ms. Kay, this isn’t my backpack”. The backpack sitting on this girl’s desk was identical to the one sitting next to my desk. We both opened our backpacks and realized we’d grabbed the wrong bag.

Internally I rolled my eyes in disgust, this girl was a “N”. But I was taught to never let it show. So we met each other to quickly exchange. Her smile was beautiful. She wore glasses the same shape as mine. She wore her hair in a pony tail, just like mine. In our back to school shopping we picked the exact same backpack and we picked the exact same Nikes (pink/white).

Her name was Jacinda. I found myself genuinely smiling back to her, and giggling like young girls do. That day she asked to sit together during lunch, and we sat beside each other for lunch every single day of middle school. She was my very first best friend. Jacinda taught me about her Sunday School classes (my family never attended church), we talked about everything important in the life of middle school girls.

She wasn’t allowed to attend my birthday parties, and I wasn’t allowed to go to hers, but we always celebrated together at school. I loved her so much. When it was time to go to high school I continued in public school and her parents chose to homeschool her. I thought homeschooling was the coolest idea. Jacinda was (is) brilliantly intelligent.

God, she was going to do great things for this world. Long before the age of social media, we lost touch sadly – but I still think of her often. After meeting Jacinda I never used another r**ist or derogatory word. Meeting Jacinda changed my life for the better.”

3. Small town in Iowa.

“I grew up in a very small town in Iowa. Couple of hundred people. All white.

So I guess I was raised not to discriminate against people that were different from me because we were all the same. Once I got older and moved to the city, oh yeah. R**ism is alive and well in Iowa.

I didn’t fall into that trap. I didn’t understand it. Ended up in Alabama. My best friend was black. We just had the same sense of humor and liked the same things. I credit him with my kids being non r**ist. He would crack jokes about racial things and they would be shocked.

As they got older they just rolled their eyes. Funniest thing was one of my daughters date shows up and he opens the door and introduced himself as her dad. He moved to Michigan. I miss Charles.”

4. Quickly realized.

“It’s simple really.

I was raised in a r**ist family. Growing up I was kinda r**ist.

Once I actually spent time with people of different races I quickly realized how stupid that is.”

5. Just plain dumb.

“My dad has some pretty xenophobic points of view and that definitely rubbed off on me when I was younger.

Meeting actual people of color through my teenage years made me realize I was being dumb.”

6. Just jokes…

“I grew up thinking I was not a r**ist. I didn’t think badly of blacks or Hispanics. But r**ist jokes didn’t hurt anyone.

Then I moved to an area with about a 90% Hispanic population. The little things that weren’t r**ist, were. The “How many Mexican” type jokes were hurtful and I felt bad. So I stopped.

The easy same thing with blacks , Asians etc, etc. was about the same time.”

7. Poisonous ideas.

“I was not raised by r**ist parents but you can’t help growing up with r**ist messages all around society and tending to believe some of them. I had ideas about indigenous people, Muslim people, all sorts of poisonous ideas.

When I got into my early twenties I started to make good money and began traveling, and all of my r**ist notions disappeared with that. Nothing made me realize how similar human beings are regardless of race, than traveling.”

8. Native people.

“I definitely had some r**ist ideas about native people in my city growing up. There are a lot of native addicts and vagrants but it’s very much a result of a system that’s rigged against those communities.

I didn’t know any of that growing up so when I saw a group of drunk, native people in the park or something, I was generally unimpressed or even frightened.

And I definitely applied those feelings to all the native people I came across. It’s hard to change those reactions but we can all identify the bad reactions and try to curb them.”

9. No indoctrination.

“Grandfather on one side would drop jokes with hard Rs, grandmother on that side would talk about how (whisper) Mexicans were ruining South Dakota long before complaining about illegal immigration was mainstream.

Father wasn’t nearly that far gone, but after one failed relationship with a Chinese woman he encouraged me to marry a white woman, and my mother once vehemently objected to my sister having an openly gay man as a roommate.

So where did it all go wrong? Basically, I traveled to different places and met different people. The town where I grew up had a pretty large Indian population, and I had an Indian best friend growing up (he was also a bit r**ist at the time, frankly).

Went away to Boston for a summer, and through some random set of circumstances found myself going to a black church for the summer. They were just like the white church I had been going to, one kid wanted to grow up to be a programmer just like I wanted to at the time, etc etc. Went off to California for school and was exposed to a wide variety of people.

Hispanic roommate and Hispanic RA freshman year… one was an a**hole, one became a good friend, and I realized it had nothing to do with their ethnicity. Made a good friend sophomore year, and he later came out to me, and either I wrong the whole time about Josh or I was wrong about whatever leftover prejudices I had about gay people.

Now I’m married to another Chinese woman, one of my best friends is black, another is gay, one of my daughter’s best friends is Hispanic, and I’m still here in the bluest part of CA.

There was no liberal indoctrination in college like conservatives are always b**ching about. There was just meeting people and realizing that whatever reasons I had for disliking them or distrusting them from the beginning were false.:

10. Helped you understand.

“When I was going into college I was ignorant, bitter, and certainly not on a good path.

I had a roommate in college who was a person of color, who really helped me understand and put into context a lot that I had been ignorant about.”

11. Dismantle your thought process.

“My situation was complicated growing up. My father was the son of an Italian immigrant with Egyptian roots and he was so ungodly r**ist towards anyone not considered white as he considered himself white.

The thing is, my dad has dark brown skin, dark brown eyes and black kinked curly hair. He looked EXACTLY like the people he was r**ist against. And he hated Arabs…. all Arabs…. and he is part Arab. This was so confusing. He also hated gay people, Muslims, “commies” and any type of alternative lifestyles.

My father hated black people the most. He told me if I ever brought home a black boyfriend he would disown me. He told me, as a small child, that if I misbehaved I would be sent to live with a ****** family in the ghetto.

He was equally misogynist and held onto a strong patriarchal mindset.

I admit, as a kid I repeated his words. All the other kids did too on my neighborhood so I thought he was right. It wasn’t until I was literally in my 30s did I realise the internalized r**ism I still held onto.

All my partners and friends were white my entire life. I felt unsafe near a group of black men. It was only until I moved to northern Europe that I realized that I am not considered white here and experienced r**ism myself and oooooo wow what an eye opener.

I began to dismantle my entire thought process and honestly, I am so repulsed by my father now I can’t even speak to him without feeling disgusting inside. He’s really old now and much more calm and probably won’t live more than 10 years. I have not returned to my birth country to see him in almost 7 years because I am so angry at him.

Because of his r**ism I missed out on friendships, relationships and understanding cultures different from my own. I am making up for it now as the immigrant community that I live in is amazing and supportive but I will never get back that lost time and I will never know fully the extent of damage that my hateful words may have done to people who didn’t deserve it.”

12. Changed your mind.

“Joined the military, left home and experienced cultures around the world.

I was severely lacking in cultural awareness due to growing up in a small town surrounded by openly r**ist people.

Luckily, my children are able to grow in a completely different environment than the one I did.”

Now we’d like to hear from you.

Do you know anyone who has changed their radical views like these people did?

If so, please tell us about it in the comments. Thanks in advance.

The post Ex-Racists Talk About What Changed Their Views appeared first on UberFacts.

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Posts That Are Locked And Loaded…For Laughs

There are many reactions to posts on the internet – righteous outrage, solidarity, social change – but for most of us, I think it’s a place we know we can go when we need to blow off some steam.

You know, when we need a laugh.

If you ask me, the best of those funny tweets are the ones that can coax a smile from anyone who runs across them – anyone with a sense of humor, I mean – so if that applies to you, we think these 15 tweets will tickle your funny bone.

15. Those necessities are hard to afford.

And if you live with males you know the candles are just that.

14. It’s easy to tell when a cat is upset.

They’re existing in the world as a cat, for one.

13. Dad jokes never get old.

Just ask any dad that you know.

12. I hope that’s an empty threat.

Because it seems like the deal is done.

11. A double threat guy.

She’s definitely going to run for the hills.

10. He can’t help it.

It happens spontaneously when the baby is born.

9. Read this in a British accent.

If you did, you’re definitely laughing.

8. If only you could hold on to the high.

You know it’s not going to last.

7. The only time these words are ever uttered.

Unless you’re a parent, then you say it all the time.

6. What if this was really the way it went down?

It would make as much sense as anything.

5. You can’t help but like this tweet.

You can’t help but laugh.

4. That corgi regrets nothing.

And why would he?

3. There are all kinds of temples.

I’m just saying.

2. Just ask anyone who went to Harvard.

They’ll definitely tell you.

1. I mean, what other option could there be?

Except it wasn’t his idea to begin with – just saying.

Don’t you just feel all the more ready to tackle your day.

Which of these did you pass on to a friend? Share with us in the comments!

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Learn About How One Person’s Greedy Nature Cost Them Over $1.5M

For some folks out there, the world and morality are black and white. Things are wrong or not, moral or not, and there’s no wiggle room or space to negotiate in the middle. For other people, the world is more gray, and whether or not something is wrong can depend on who you’re dealing with, and maybe whether or not their actions mean they “deserve” what’s coming to them.

For this man, who worked at a very successful tech company back during the boom, his bosses attitude and ineptitude seemed like reason enough to rip him off for more than $1M.

He started with the company right out of college and worked his way up to have some face time with the owners, but was always careful to stay in his own lane – which had nothing to do with buying or selling stocks.

BACKGROUND:

A year out of school in the early-1990’s, I procured a job as a business analyst for a large, family-owned tech company. This business was located in the booming heart of technology at the time and was very profitable. As tech took off over the next decade, the company thrived and remained family-owned. What was a rich family and company became exceedingly wealthy with a valuation/net worth in the high 9/low 10-figures.

The family that owned it was quite neurotic, very moody and had a reputation as very ruthless (greedy) when it came to financing, deal-making, employees, etc. I truly believe this is what held them back from ultimately becoming a household name as a company.

As I progressed in the company, I gained more and more face time with the owners. I worked on some projects directly with ownership that really paid off and gained me even greater access to their inner circle. Now, like a lot of people at the time and particularly those who worked in tech, I was heavily invested in tech stocks. I discussed some of my investments and gains with ownership as casual conversation, though investing had nothing to do with my role in the company.

But when one of the owners asked him if he would invest some of his (and the company’s) money for him, the guy jumped at the chance to pad his resume.

He was smart enough to ask for the details of the arrangement in writing, and carried on.

That is until one day in late-1999 when the owner came to me and asked me if I would invest some of his personal money. He wanted me to take big risks to see if they would pay off using 1 million dollars of his personal money. I was a bit hesitant, but still being in my late-20’s and wanting to prove myself, I said I would.

I asked for a written agreement where they acknowledged this wasn’t my role in the company, was a personal matter between the owner and me, and to document my compensation for this side arrangement (20% of all profits).

He went to work, dealing mostly in short sales, where he was comfortable at the time, and after a short while, was showing profits in both his and his boss’s accounts.

Around this same time and by working in the industry I started to notice the weakness associated with a lot of tech companies. They just weren’t living up to their hype and stock price and some seemed like they were starting to run out of money. I had no inside information, just a strong sense of which companies were struggling based on my work in the business.

Based on this sense I started using both my money and the owners money to short tech companies just after the New Year in 2000. For anyone unfamiliar with shorting, it means if the value of a stock decreases, the value of the investment increases. I had a few long positions, but my overall position was very short.

Since the owner wanted big risk and big reward, I used his money and obtained leverage or margin from the financial institution where I maintained both his and my trading accounts. The accounts were separate, but both under my name (again, I documented this and gained consent).

Well, both my account and his suffered some moderate losses in the first two months of 2000 before the bubble began to burst and both accounts, but his in particular, began to skyrocket.

When the company started to struggle financially, the boss who had invested came to OP to ask him how the accounts were doing. He told him they had netted around $1.35M so far but that there were also some open accounts that were worth around $1M.

OWNERSHIP’S PETTINESS

In June, the company began to suffer a downturn. We were still profitable, but since we provided tech services and products we were not immune to weakness in the broader market.

I had not informed the owner of my short strategy. He came to me one day and asked how his money was doing, saying he suspected it was way down like the general market. To his surprise, I informed him that while we still had some money tied up in options (puts) and shorts, but based on the positions I had closed, there was $1.35 million in cash sitting in the account that belonged to him.

Again, I still had a bunch of open positions which, if memory serves, were worth about a million on that date, but the positions I had closed had yielded $1.35 million in cash just sitting in his account (which was in my name).

The owner asked for the $1.35M out, and got angry at OP for asking for the 20% they’d agreed on – around $70K.

The owner, either through ignorance or lack of attention, said “Great, $1.35 million. Fantastic work in this down market. Will you please wire it to me?” I responded that I would, but would be taking my 20% of the $350,000 profit, or $70,000, before wiring him the $280,000. I also reminded him I still had open positions that had yet to pay off or close, but I didn’t state the amount. He, once again, appeared not to understand or comprehend the open positions statement, but instead totally focused on and became incensed about my rightful claim for $70,000. He went on and on about how times were tough, I should be grateful for a job, particularly at my young age, and the entire $350,000 was necessary for him and the company. I knew this wasn’t true based on my position within the company. Worse, this was my first time personally experiencing the greedy and corrupt nature that served as the basis for ownership’s reputation.

Which is when OP decided to go ahead and take his revenge for those wrongs.

Revenge that netted him around $1.8M.

THE REVENGE

Now comes the revenge. Since, after two separate conversations, the owner didn’t seem to grasp that the open positions would yield at least some income, and thus additional profit, I decided not to mention it again. I sent him back the entire $1.35 million and continued to manage the open positions to the best of my ability. And here’s the kicker, the owner never brought it up again. He seemed to think the $1.35 million payment was the entire value of the account and never understood or remembered that open positions still existed. He never asked for records, tax documents or any time of audit or financials. Given the fact that he was dishonest with me, I didn’t feel the need to disabuse him of that notion.

Ultimately, after a bit more net gain, I covered all of the shorts and exercised all of the options (puts in this case) for an additional $1.8 million. I worked for the company for 3 more years and owner never asked about it during my tenure, after I gave notice, or since. I know it’s a bit crass and even shady af, but given his dishonesty with me over the $70,000, I felt justified in keeping the additional $1.8 million. I paid taxes on the gain (long term cap gain), and went on my way with a fantastic nest egg. Nobody has asked about it since and I have only told the story to a few people (and even then only after the statute of limitations passed).

He waited and saved the money during the rest of his time with the company, and then for a few years after he left, but no one ever asked for it.

The owners are all deceased now and he feels pretty smug at having swindled some arrogant and clueless people out of a whollllle lot of money.

The final ironic cherry on top of this sundae is that during my remaining 3 years I gained greater influence with ownership in position within the company because they considered me loyal for giving the $1.35 million back and not making too much of a stink about the $70,000 profit.

Little did they know I got the better of them. The company eventually folded due to family disputes, but my understanding is that ownership walked away in very good financial position.

They likely could have been a much better and greater company had they not practiced the same dishonesty that they showed me with their vendors, clients and employees.

Thanks for reading and hope you enjoyed.

I don’t know how I feel about this, y’all. I’m not stodgy or anything but this feels a loooootttt like stealing.

Drop your opinions in the comments!

The post Learn About How One Person’s Greedy Nature Cost Them Over $1.5M appeared first on UberFacts.

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Embarrassing Typos That Should Have Been Avoided

Part of being human is making mistakes.

As a writer, I have definitely made my fair share of embarrassing typos. I remember one particular social media post where my mistake made it hilarious, but it was also devastatingly inappropriate and embarrassing, and I had to delete it as soon as my sister pointed it out. It pays to have a copy editor in the family. Some professionals across a variety of industries are not so lucky.

Here are 12 embarrassing examples from the subreddit r/NotMyJob where people either needed a quality assurance reviewer or simply didn’t care enough to double check their work.

1. Thank you for your attention

Maybe if they had spelled it correctly, the package would have been handled with actual care.

Damaged package reads: Handle with care. Fragile. Tahank you.

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

2. World War Eleven

Is it a typo, or is it from an alternate dimension?

In memory of World War 11, 1939-1945

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

3. Bestsellers for bookies

If anyone is going to catch it and call you out, it’s a keen-eyed reader.

Betseller category in the bookstore

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

4. Dollar Tree

To be fair, when you’re working up close, it’s hard to see the forest for the E’s.

Okay Boss, I Put up the sign from NotMyJob

5. Five hearts are better than four

That’s actually my lucky card.

4 of diamonds, 4 of spades, 4of hearts (has 5 hearts), 4 of clubs

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

6. Not just the land down under

Is this a joke about how everything is backwards there because they’re upside down?

Map labels Australia as Austarlia

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

7. Someone forgot to replace their placeholder text

(Like I almost did on # 6.)

Have fun finding the error from NotMyJob

8. Up or Down?

It’s actually a new motion that tips you forward so you fall on your knees and bow down. Bown.

Chair lever with instructions for lock, free, up or bown.

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

9. When Mork from Ork gets involved

I mostly want to know where they lost the E.
And were these discounted? Will they actually detect smoke? Or only smork?

Smoke alarm labled 'Smork alam'

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

10. Typos happen when you don’t wear you glasses

Get it? Because they were looking at the front of the glasses?
(I’ll see myself out.)

Ad for glasses shows a view of the 'fornt' and the back.

Image credit: r/NotMyJob via Pleated Jeans

11. Open 7 Days a Week

People always forget about that midweek Trewsday that most of us sleep through.

Hmm from NotMyJob

12. Braille for the sighted

When it comes to accessibility, it’s not the thought that counts.

Elevator sign in the hospital with Braille printed onto the paper….so it’s flat from NotMyJob

These all show that editors and QA specialists need a raise, pronto, because without them, there would be a whole lot more.

(I won’t tell you how many typos I found in reviewing this article.)

What’s the most embarrassing typo you’ve ever seen in public? Tell us in the comments.

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Take a Look at These 15 “Holy Grails” of Random Collections

I’ve had very random, half-hearted collections throughout the years.

When I was a kid and home internet was still a new thing, I would collect discs and CDs that had free internet service trials on them. I realize that for any Gen Z people reading this that probably sounds like gibberish, so maybe I should keep this more accessible and mention my less than impressive shot glass collection instead.

In any case, I’ve never been serious enough to really go for a “holy grail,” like these people on Reddit did.

What is the "holy grail" of the thing you’re a collector of? from AskReddit

Here are some of the big find items for these categories of collections:

1. Obsolete tech

I collect obsolete tech, my personal holy grail would have to be the Halcyon video game console from 1985.

There were only a handful that were actually produced and most likely even fewer still floating around.

– starcabin_

2. Vinyl

While I do not personally collect vinyl, I love this story.

“During the early days of the White Stripes, Jack White teamed up with musician friend Brian Muldoon to form The Upholsterers. Both former upholsterers, the pair then hid 100 copies of their song ‘Your Furniture Was Always Dead… I Was Just Afraid To Tell You’ in reupholstered furniture around Detroit in 2004.”

A few have been found, but last I checked only like 4-5. I just love the idea of opening up a chair and finding a Jack White album placed there by the man himself.

– AllBadAnswers

3. Nintendo

Nintendo world championship gold cartridge NES.

– Fezzic5

4. Artifacts

probably ancient Greek or Roman coins which have been perfectly preserved

– theeCrawlingChaos

5. Niche art

An original Bob Ross painting.

He painted 3 for every show.

Almost none are in circulation though.

– edward_anastasio

6. Comics

The hulk vs wolverine comic where MARVEL introduced Wolverine as a side character not supposed to become big.

– lookin4BEANSS

7. Rudolph memorabilia

My mom collects Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer stuff. She has an entire room of it.

I think her holy grails are a table and chairs set, artwork signed by the original designer, a rocking horse, and I’m pretty sure she has one of the original film reels.

– YourMomsSideUp

8. Roller-coasters

I collect roller-coaster credits (that is, I track the coasters I have ridden).

There are a few grails, mostly coasters that only opened for a short time or we’re in obscure parts of the world. I have one of the holiest of grails: I rode ring°racer at the Nurburgring during one of the four days it was open to the public.

The only rarer credits out there are Twist Coaster Robin (Japan, only open for a few hours) and Orphan Rocker (never opened; it is estimated four people have ever ridden it).

– Alaeriia

9. Stamps

Really fun modern stamps. I don’t want the old ones or the rare ones. I really just enjoy modern fun stamps.

I buy thousands of dollars per year in postage for my company and all of it is in fun stamps, not meter credit. Every piece of mail I send for business has a fun stamp on it. Sesame street, mr rogers, first space walk, thermographic solar eclipse stamps, scratch and sniff popsicles, and soon the star wars stamps!!! I love them all and want to share them with my clients.

My holy grail would be more harry potter stamps. Those were really cool stamps.

– KiniShakenBake

10. Model trains

My holy grail was just recently accomplished. As a model train collector, the centerpiece of any toy train collection is the Lionel Blue Comet, a tinplate train they made in the 1930s and continue to make in varying forms today. The most valuable versions are the 400E Standard Gauge and 296E O Gauge “Baby Blue Comet”, both of which Lionel made in the 1930s out of tinplate and clad in enamel paint. Mine is a 262E, a small O gauge engine that almost never came in blue apart from maybe one or two examples I’ve found online.

Here is a picture of it.

My Blue Comet isn’t the most glamorous or expensive model, in fact it cost me $150 for the engine and tender, but it satisfies something deep inside me that I don’t want any other tinplate Blue Comets anymore. I think that’s what a “holy grail” should be: something that puts to rest a long-gestating want for something.

​ – Reymond_StJames

11. Video games

I collect video games, and I really really want a copy of Hideo Kojima’s “Snatcher” for the Sega CD.

– jidar

12. Perfume

I used to collect high end perfume and there are a lot of vintage classics that are highly coveted.

Even a small decant (5ml or so) could be really hard to track down and then very expensive if you could find it.

But my *personal* holy grail is a perfume that was discontinued in 2011 or 12 and then re-released in a very limited quantity, but only in Paris, in 2016 or so. The only 2 or 3 bottles still available for sale are going for over $650 and…I’m very sad about that.

It’s Iris Ganache by Guerlain, if anyone is curious.

– NicoleNicole1988

13. Beanie Babies

I collect Beanie Babies. (no, I don’t think they’ll get valuable, I just legitimately like them lol)

Most Beanie Babies are worth very little. But for serious collectors, the holy grail is the Peanut the Elephant Beanie Baby, in royal blue! Only a small amount of royal blue Peanuts were produced, (1500-2000 or so) very soon after, the creator decided that Peanut would look better in light blue. (Teeny Beanie and Beanie Buddy royal blue Peanuts were later produced on a larger scale) Royal blue Peanut is probably the most valuable Beanie Baby, selling for up to a thousand dollars.

– PartyPorpoise

14. Plants

I collect plants! For a lot of plant collectors, philodendron spiritus sancti is the holy grail.

They’re endangered, and more of them exist in the homes of private collectors and growers than in the wild.

A small plant goes for around $10k. I saw an auction for one go close to $15k.

My personal holy grail is a variegated rhaphidophora tetrasperma. Maybe one day I will be super lucky and find a random sport variegated one!

– mmmatchaball

15. Guitars

1959 Sunburst Les Paul

Of the few that are on the market, some have gone for well into the six, and (maybe?) seven figures

– DreadPirateCristo

Remember, before you go throwing literally anything out, look it up online. There may well be someone looking for just that!

What would be the holy grail of your collection?

Tell us in the comments.

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What’s a Good Cheap or Free Hobby To Get Into?

Why is everything so dang expensive these days? Even the hobbies you can do at home add up super quick, it seems.

Keeping up with the latest gaming can cost a lot, and even TV watching has become prohibitively expensive again for many as we’re asked by a billion companies to sign up for endless individual streaming services to watch what we want.

There’s gotta be some cheaper stuff to do, right Reddit?

What hobby do you enjoy that’s cheap/free? from AskReddit

Not to worry, they’ve got some ideas!

1. Cooking

Cooking can be a pretty cheap hobby.

I mean, you have to eat anyway, might as well enjoy the processes of making your own food.

– Ointenso

2. Writing

I actually have honest talks with myself through writing.

You’d be amazed how much reading your own thoughts can help you.

– Loozka

3. Hiking

Hiking.

Find parks or trails in your area and check them out.

There are a lot of cool places to explore.

– NilsaPhilip

4. Working out

Working out.

Even when stuck indoors self isolating or whatever, there is a lot of stuff you can do without any equipment.

Body weight stuff like press ups, squats, sit ups etc.

– Flygon_S

5. …this!

Chess.

– Xseros

6. Cross Stitch

Cross stitch! Basically pixel art on fabric.

You can get a ton of patterns online for free or just a few bucks, and the thread/fabric for a first project usually runs $5-10 and will keep you busy several hours. (You can buy a beginner kit at any hobby store.)

It’s what I do to unwind every night and I’ve had some beautiful results if I may say so. 🙂

– Andromeda321

7. Reading

Reading.

Books are generally cheap and nowadays you can even find lots of classics online for free

– Jorgensen01

8. Embroidery

Embroidery – while there are lots of tools and fancy equipment you can get if you get really into it, it’s one of the cheaper crafts to get started with.

You just need some fabric, a hoop, some needles, and some embroidery floss – you can get started with about $10.

I bought one kit to see if I liked it and then used the leftover materials plus a piece of scrap fabric to start making my own designs.

– goose_juggler

9. Rock collecting

Looking at rocks, collecting rocks, using sandpaper and labor to polish rocks.

– Aninternerloser

10. Arrowhead hunting

Arrowhead hunting.

I think it’s neat to find something that humans made that hasn’t been touched in hundreds or thousands of years.

I live near a river in the Midwest (U.S.) and the farmer’s fields along the river tend to have a good supply of stone-age tools/weapons.

Always get permission first though!

– Dan_mcmxc

11. Homebrewing

Homebrewing.

It’s not necessarily cheap/free, but I was going to spend the money on good beer anyway, so I might as well make a hobby out of it. Once your initial equipment investment is done, you’re just paying for ingredients, which are pretty inexpensive (around 75 cents per beer on an IPA for 5 gallon batches, cheaper for less hoppy styles).

At the low end you can be into the hobby for around $100-150, and for a high quality setup you’re talking $3-500. Ingredients cost me $30-40 per 5 gallon batch, which means I’m spending half what I would normally on craft beer. It takes about a year or 2 to amortize your initial equipment costs, and at that point you’re playing with house money.

Granted, with higher-end equipment there’s basically no upper limit to what you can spend on this hobby, but that basically only applies if you’re someone with gear acquisition syndrome.

It’s also helped me cut my alcohol consumption down (at least since the holidays), because at this point I’m trying to only drink what I brew, which means fewer trips to the beer store just because I feel like it. It’s also a fun creative outlet for me, I probably spend as much time planning my brew days and designing recipes as I do brewing the beer itself.

– duffman13jws

12. Coin roll hunting

Coin Roll Hunting r/crh

You buy rolls of coins from the bank, search them for rare dates, old coins, errors (ie double strikes, off-center strikes), silver coins (in rolls of dimes/quarters/halves), foreign coins.

Then you either roll them back up or bring to a coin counting machine. The only cost is the coins you keep.

– theshoegazer

13. Foraging

I do foraging/wildcrafting in the last few years. So far my only expense was 10$ garden gloves for dealing with extra mean plants. On the contrary, it supplies me with a supply of herbal teas, spices, and [depending on the season] fruit and vegetables and various goods made from them – including ones that are way above my budget, had I bought them in the grocery store.

Caution 1: please avoid eating or using wild plants unless you are 100% certain you know what they are and how to handle them correctly.

Caution 2: Please harvest responsibly. Don’t take more than you need, and make sure not to damage plants along the way, and leave enough of the plant and/or patch to recover and grow again the next year. Leave struggling plants, protected species and nature reserves alone.

– With_Trees

14. Fishing

Fishing.

There’s people that’ll spend thousands but if you have a fresh or saltwater access nearby, it’s an inexpensive hobby to get into that’ll keep you entertained.

– Growbigbuds

15. Reddit

Scroll through Reddit trying to find new hobbies and enjoyment but not actually getting anywhere.

– GiantGeorge14

Sounds fun, I may just have to give a few of those a try!

What other cheap/free hobbies would you recommend?

Tell us in the comments.

The post What’s a Good Cheap or Free Hobby To Get Into? appeared first on UberFacts.

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What Would You Do If You Switched Sexes for a Whole Day?

Reddit is full of interesting information and insightful questions, but this takes the cake:

If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you do? from AskReddit

There are nearly five thousand comments in the thread. Most of them are…exactly what you’d imagine.

Let’s examine some interesting highlights.

1. Get some.

If my wife also becomes the opposite sex then , he is gonna get some p*ssy!

– Riverrat423

2. The perks of being a man?

I’d get to stand up and pee!

And I’d get to know how opening jars feels like!

Both statements are unrelated to each other.

– newsensequeen

3. That’s fully consensual, I guess.

take pictures and videos for later

– GameCyborg

4. Big question.

Well it depends If I am as attractive as a model

– riverfellon

5. Username checks out.

Be euphoric for a day

– transpersonmaybe

6. We all wanna know!

Find out what sex is like for the other half of the equation.

– ksiyoto

7. It is a bit annoying.

Enjoy not having my b*lls stick to my leg for a day

– mcwaffles2003

8. Captain Realism coming in to spoil the fun.

Freak the f*ck out (in a bad way), probably go into shock, and then be very relieved when I go back to being a guy.

I’d hate to have such a huge, unexpected, and sudden change like that.

– VMarkB

9. It’s not that simple.

It’s actually really funny to see the girls ITT think that they could go get laid if they were guys.

Like it’s just some easy thing any guy can decide to do in a day.

– Joliet_Jake_Blues

10. For science!

Measure differences in Thiccness.

– InternetHumanSim

11. I’d still be indecisive.

Spend the entire day thinking of what I should do.

– _hydrochloric_acid_

12. Oh really now?

Try and bang my guy friends I’m already attracted to

– ovalteenjenkinzz

13. And then you’d just vanish.

See how much I can make on only fans in 24 hours it both takes care of all the weird sexual stuff and maybe my money issues for a bit

– ScreamingGoatVagina

14. Don’t make assumptions.

I love how everyone assumes they’d be attractive opposite gender…

– Agisek

15. Oh, it does.

The answer would scare you.

– Username_Taken_Nerd

Proceed through the rest of that thread at your own peril.

What would you do if you switched sexes for a day?

Tell us in the comments.

The post What Would You Do If You Switched Sexes for a Whole Day? appeared first on UberFacts.

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Women Admit What They Would Do if They Were Men for a Day

As the influential philosophers at Good Burger once told us, “I’m a dude, he’s a dude, she’s a dude, we’re all dudes, hey.”

That’s what was playing on repeat in my head when I was reading through this thread on Ask Reddit:

If you were the opposite sex for a day, what would you do? from AskReddit

There were a lot of posts from my fellow men which predictably fell into the category of “I’D TOUCH ALL MY LADY PARTS A LOT AND DO THE FAPPING!”

Which, yanno, ok. Let’s leave that behind for a moment and look at the responses that women gave about what they’d do if they were men. I’m sure it will be a lot more thoughtful and enlightening.

1. …oh.

Helicopter!

Masturbate, masturbate, masturbate.

Retract foreskin.

Replace foreskin.

Helicopter.

Pee on a tree.

Sex.

– Mtoastyo

2. Guess we’re not so different.

Jack off ngl i wanna know what it’s like to orgasm that easily

– f*ckmeup-scotty

3. Oof, this one hurts.

Go for a walk at night

– Calingaladha

4. Wow, really?

Sing.

I’ve always admired the vocal range and the sound of a male’s voice.

It’s just… Wow.

– CryptikAngel

5. Don’t bother – childbirth is definitely worse.

Get myself kicked in the b*lls so we could settle the debate of whether it hurts more than childbirth.

– saelcaha

6. WHY?

I would whip out my d*ck and pee everywhere possible.

– cuntiee

7. See this is darkly fascinating.

Am female, so would be male.

I would get all the jobs done that I need doing eg car serviced, guttering fixed, house insurance updated and so on. My husband generally does these because he gets better deals. We tried it last year where I made a call, then he did. And he consistently got a better deal. Not exactly an empirically proven experiment but it was enough for us to decide he’s in charge of negotiating anything financial!

– SmolEmmywem

8. Freud was right?

I think about this all the time, I have a bad case of penis envy.

I would definitely get a blow job, I need to know how that feels. I would also masterbaute.

I would write my name with pee! I would put stuff on my erect penis and try to fling it in my mouth. I want a penis so bad!! They’re so cool!!

– biscuit272

9. Um…

Try and save as much of sperm as possible so I can get myself pregnant.

– ta_janae

10. This answer came up a LOT.

I would spend the day swinging my penis around like a pinwheel

– topsinator

11. It is pretty nice.

Walk around shirtless

– StuckInDreams

12. Username checks out.

Be euphoric for a day

– transpersonmaybe

13. *Sigh.* Yeah.

Let’s be real here.

Everyone would masturbate.

– SmallDixxsRBeautiful

14. Are they that bad?

Celebrate.

No more boobs.

– imjustlivinghere

15. The range of motion is really pretty limited, ya’ll.

get a blowjob and make my d*ck move on command

– sailorigor

Well, now we’ve gotten to the bottom of that question, I guess.

What would you do if you could switch sexes for a day?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Women Admit What They Would Do if They Were Men for a Day appeared first on UberFacts.

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How Do You Think You’d Get Rich if You Got $100 Every Time You Were Rejected? People Share Their Hilarious Responses.

The job market is really TOUGH right now. You hardly know where to turn.

But what if there were a different, unconventional way to make money, like this hypothetical from r/AskReddit:

You get 100$ every time you’re rejected for anything ( favors, dating, money ). What do you do to make money? from AskReddit

So, how best to turn rejection into cash? Let’s hear out some innovative ideas.

1. The trifecta.

Do you have a minute to hear about our lord and savior?

Would you like to take a survey?

Can I offer you an extended warranty?

– em21701

2. Love me tinder.

Does someone swiping left on my tinder profile count as a rejection?

If so, I’ll be a millionaire in a week.

– LukewarmCola

3. Just ask.

Ask people for $100

– Pimp_Butters

4. The swap.

Create two bank accounts, one to take the $100 another that’s just empty.

I use the debit card linked to the empty account and just repeatedly swipe it in some gas station or grocery store, getting declined every time.

Then I just use the other account for everything else 😎

– Gastric_Wave

5. You game?

Ask people to play Axis and Allies the board game.

It’s my favorite, and no one ever wants to play it.

– i_am_the_pirate

6. Failed.

Try to login with the wrong password.

– trogdor1234

7. Dude, what?

Ask random strangers if you can sniff their farts

– Fl3xion

8. A clean break.

Ask my kids to clean up their toys. $$$

– Dorkjello

9. A strange plan.

1. Buy a magic 8 ball
2. ask a question and roll till a “no”
3. buy more magic 8 balls from the $100 and put them in a tray
4. ask away and shake the tray every time you need money.
5. Stack modular trays containing more magic 8 balls to expand your earnings per sec.

– Calmeister

10. Mouthing off.

Ask if I can stick my hand into people’s mouths, noone wants a stranger’s hand there

– Iwantmyteslanow

11. Oof.

Suggest really solid ideas to my work team of all-male technicians.

– jewbetterstopthat

12. That’s quite an estimate.

Travel around world, trying to kiss everyone.

Imma make over $700,000,000,000.

– ThanatosTheSaviour

13. The best laid plans.

Just try and make plans with a big group of ppl.

Nothing works out.

Probably market cap in and around 1 bil

– Count55

14. That Mormon beat.

I’d go back and be a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints again!

– rexregisanimi

15. NEVER.

Do you want to try YouTube Premium?

– Bjar5614

*Sigh* if only any of those would really work.

What would you add to this list?

Tell us in the comments.

The post How Do You Think You’d Get Rich if You Got $100 Every Time You Were Rejected? People Share Their Hilarious Responses. appeared first on UberFacts.

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26 Police Officers Discuss the Calls That Almost Made Them Quit

There are some jobs that we like to think are more about calling and duty than a paycheck, and policing is definitely one of them. Every profession has its tough days, though, no matter how much you love your work, and even those of us who would give every last drop to the job have days when it seems like too much.

These 26 officers have good reason to feel that way – just read through these rough days and tell me you wouldn’t be ready for some relaxing in the shade afterward, too!

26. Women really do this?

Routine traffic stop for speeding.

When I got to the car window her top was down and her skirt hiked up and she was busy. She looks at me and says, “Officer I need help”.

I had to walk away, I was with a partner and he said let’s call for a lady officer. Which is what we did, Yes the driver was really cute, but we waited in our car and once the other officer arrived she told her to get dressed and decent and she stayed around to make sure the driver didn’t pull another stunt like this and we made sure she got her ticket.

This was back before car cams and body cams so we needed to have an extra set of eyes/witnesses in case she made a complaint.

Funniest thing was that at shift end when we went back to the squad room the Sgt. who must have heard the call we made said, “So I see you met ……. she has tried that drop your drawers trick with us before, good thing you rookies did not fall for it.”

25. A sad state of affairs.

“Not a police officer, but still technically law enforcement at the time.

When I was in the Coast Guard, I did a lot of drug and migrant interdiction down in the Caribbean. Chasing drug smugglers was pretty fun, but interdicting the migrants was always sad.

We would usually find Haitians or Cubans and the Haitians were always much worse off. It was pretty heartbreaking having to send them back after seeing the state they were in, and the state of country they were trying to leave. They would go through such great lengths to leave and we had to stop them. One guy tried to light himself on fire and others would try and injure themselves to try and get us to take them to US health care facilities.

The only redeeming thing about interdicting them was their ships were always very shoddily made and often times our act of interdicting them was also us saving them from a sinking ship.”

24. I wonder if she agreed.

I stopped a young man (early 20s) for speeding one night. His passenger was an attractive young lady whom I would guess at about the same age as the driver. Thinking I had caught a whiff of alcohol as he asked why I had stopped him and he seemed more nervous that what I would call normal, I ask him to please exit his vehicle and told his passenger to remain seated in the vehicle.

When the driver and I walked to the rear of his car I went through the normal traffic stop routine:”Sir, may I see your driver’s license, where are you coming from and going to, have you been drinking tonight, do you know what the speed limit might be on Olsen Road? Blah, blah blah. “

Then I must have hit the correct button when I asked him, “Sir, before I run a check on your license, do you have any outstanding wants or warrants for your arrest?” I actually thought he was about to start crying or going to have a litter of kittens right there on the side of the road, because he started saying, “please officer don’t write me a ticket, please I beg you officer.” Before I could advise him to calm down, he blurted out, “Officer I can not get another ticket this year or I will lose my license. If you will not write me a ticket I will let you___ my girlfriend.”

I must have now looked like the one going to have a litter of kittens because before I could form a reply, he said: “She is good officer, I promise she is.” The first thought that popped into my mind was this had to be a setup, and I started looking around for the Internal Affairs unit that I figured must be parked in the area.

Not seeing anything that looked out of place, I thought to myself this guy is serious, and he must have thought from the way I looked at him that I was gay or something because he then said, “Or I can give you a BJ”.

In my years on the street, I have been offered money, tickets to an NFL game, free merchandise at a local department store, but never anything remotely like this before. I just kept looking at the kid with a stunned look on my face and finally got my voice back, handed him his driver’s license back and told him to slow down, drive carefully and to have a good night.

I spend a number of years in the department after that night and never had anyone else try to get out of a citation by offering what he did. After he drove away and I sat in my unit, I thought I could have gotten him for trying to bribe a peace officer. But then I thought if he chose to contest the bribery charge, what jury would believe me?

23. This doesn’t seem right.

“Click it or ticket seatbelt enforcement.

At least here in Kansas, depending on the amount of tickets written for seatbelt violations (and other, I believe driving under the influence are worth more ‘points’ on the scale”) the more money the state will give you to purchase equipment for your department. Sounds like a decent deal, right? Seat belts are an important piece of safety equipment, plus you can earn funds for better gear for your officers.

Departments get a little crazy over this one. Especially when they don’t get many tickets written because PEOPLE ARE FOLLOWING THE LAW. I know, because I used to sit and look for them, and when I couldn’t find anyone not wearing a seat belt for 2 hours and went off duty, I was told later that night I could no longer participate in click it because I hadn’t written any tickets.

Because people were wearing them.

Which is compliance, and ultimately the goal of the entire damn program to begin with. I told them fine, because the only reason I had signed up was because of the memo sent out that nobody had, and they were begging people to do it. I later was told I could come back and try it again, as nobody else had written any tickets either for the same reason, so long as we all realized that it’s up the the courts to decide if they had a seat belt on, and if you don’t see a seatbelt to write them a ticket even if they have one on when you get up to them.

Basically telling us to cite people who weren’t breaking the law, so they could put numbers down, to get money.

Needless to say I left that department shortly after.”

22. There’s a story to tell.

A police constable of my acquaintance was patrolling the MI in England back in the seventies and he stopped a car going (quite) a bit too fast.

He recognized the driver as Tommy Cooper. For the uninitiated, Tommy Cooper was one of the absolutely top comedians in the UK and his shtick was based around his persona as an incompetent magician.

Cooper said he was on his way to a gig and was running late.

He fast-talked his way out of a ticket as only he could and, as the cop let him go, he shook him by the hand saying ‘Thank you, officer, Thank you, thank you. Have a drink on me,” and pressed some paper into the policeman’s hand.

The policeman waved him off and looked at what Cooper had given him.

It was a teabag.

21. Oh. My. God.

A neighbor called me saying that they heard endless screaming coming from their neighbor’s residence.

I got there, knocked on the door and was completely shocked to see a pair of dismembered testicles on the ground. I was quickly withdrew my handcuffs and asked what was going on.

It turns out that the wife found the husband on the list of members on Ashley Madison.

Witnesses outside the home said they heard screams such as “Oh no! Get away from me! Please! Stop unreasonably castrating me!”

Still one of the strangest calls I’ve ever been dispatched on.

20. Neither of them will forget it.

I was driving home from my sisters place on the NY thruway and had a date coming over about the time I’d get home. So, I had done my hair and my makeup prior to leaving.

Unfortunately, I was running out of gas. I checked my ticket and realized I couldn’t make it to the nearest rest area. I also realized that I could make it quite easily to the rest stop in the opposite direction. So, as I drove along, I saw a “No U turn” sign right next to a paved lane that went from my side of the thruway to the other side. I looked in front and in the rear and saw no cars at all so I made a U-turn on that paved lane.

Just as I was up to full speed, I heard the siren behind me. I pulled over and the good looking highway patrolman came up to my car. He explained that he had seen me make a U turn and asked if I knew it was not allowed to make a U-turn on the thruway. I explained that I did know because I found the place to make the turn by the No U-turn sign. The officer asked why I had made the U-turn and I explained about running out of gas.

The officer is now shaking his head and almost laughing at the ditzy woman he was talking to. He obviously could not believe that i was being so honest and thinking I was definitely weird. He now asks me if I’m in a hurry. I replied that I was because had a date back in Syracuse and didn’t want to be late.

Now he’s totally flummoxed. He explains that the ticket i had just earned would cost a lot of money and that it was dangerous doing what I had just done. I said I understood and apologized. He then told me if I promised never to do that again, he’d just give me a warning and let me go home to my date. I promised never to do that again and he said god bye and I hope this date was worth it.

I am now 73 and have never again make a U-turn on an interstate/ thruway.

I don’t remember if the date was worth it.

19. Ungrateful much?

Got a call for a noise complaint at a frequent flyer’s house so we cruised out figuring the guy was inebriated and we’d pick him up on a parole violation.

We got to his house and he had literally blown off half of his garage and half of his arm trying to make dabs.

Turns out the guy thought he just had to burn a bunch of weed and it would melt down into oil so he gathered up a dozen propane tanks and somehow managed to turn his garage into a tinder pile.

The best part was he swore up and down (while he’s screaming in pain) that we only came out to “steal his stuff”

18. An innocent encounter.

When I was 19, I ran my car through a red light. I didn’t realize there was an officer not far behind, but when they put on their siren, I pulled over.

I was aware that I was very attractive to men, (only because I got whistled at wherever I went and was constantly being asked on dates – even by random strangers, and because guys I did know were regularly telling me they thought they were in love with me. I was also earning a lot of money as a model, but I was a university student and hated the whole modeling industry – I only did it for the money).

When the two offers pulled me over and one said something like “You do realize you just went straight through a red light, I batted my eyelids and said “Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry. I genuinely didn’t realize: (or something very similar). They both looked at each other. One said something like “Shall we give her a ticket” and the other one said something like “No – I don’t think so”.

I didn’t feel great about it, because I realized that I had just been manipulative. And I know a lot of men would say that this is an unfair advantage women have over them. But I was studying a lot about the lack of power women had suffered from over the centuries, and figured we should be able to use what little power we had.

They told me to be careful that I didn’t do it again, and I said something like “Oh, I promise I will be very careful. “ So, I didn’t get a ticket. Regardless, it did make me much more careful as a driver.

17. What was her reason, though?

Got sent to a street out the back of our sleepy little town.

Someone was using a chainsaw at 2am.

Not unusual because the properties are really big but this was being done next to another house (in a garage).

Turned out to be a lady chasing her husband around the room trying to jab him in the junk with the chainsaw.

16. Do we think this is real?

I stopped a car for speeding one sunny afternoon on a major 4-lane divided highway that had 3 teenaged young ladies in the front seat who were coming from a local swimming pool and were in the briefest bikinis. They were beautiful young ladies by any scale possible. I explained the purpose of the stop, after I had obtained the driver’s driver license and car registration and returned to my cruiser to issue a ticket.

As always, while writing the ticket I held it high on the steering wheel so I could also carefully observe the occupants of the stopped vehicle and noticed the driver and center passenger doing something involving the driver.

When I had completed the ticket and had returned to the stopped vehicle’s door, I began to explain the cost of the ticket, the points that would be assessed to the driver’s driving record and the right to appear for trial in court to contest the ticket. Because of my observation, I was a bit more alert than normal as I was doing this and prepared for any possibility.

I was in mid sentence of my explanation when the driver sort of moved her upper body and both tops of her bikini fell down complete exposing her entire chest area. She could have been a Playboy centerfold!

But without changing the cadence of my sentence, voice volume, tone of voice or any change in my facial expression and body language I said, “This ticket may be paid by check mailed to the address indicated here (pointing to it), and young lady your bikini top has fallen and you might wish to fix it, and the ticket cost $30 and is a one-point violation.”

I continued on with my “spiel” as she quickly “fixed” her apparel failure while her face, and those of her friends, became so red with embarrassment they would have been used as the red light on the front of a fire engine en route to a fire! The ticket was paid!

For a couple of years afterward, as this young lady matured, each time she saw me, off duty or on duty, she would blush and quickly turn away. She was married and had two beautiful daughters. I was in a local grocery store when I heard an, “Excuse me Mr. Wright” and turned to find her standing there with her 2 young daughters. She introduced them to me explaining that officers were their friends. It was one of those moments that are golden in the memories of old officers after retirement!

I will admit that at the moment it occurred, it took all my years of Marine-instilled self control not to react to the apparel malfunction!

15. That can be arranged.

I got dispatched to loud music one night at an apartment complex. I arrived and could clearly hear Snoop Dog being played while I was standing in the parking lot. I banged on the door for well over a minute to no avail.

I open the door to find two stoners high out of their minds. Guy was laying on the couch while his friend was laying on the floor. I see clear as day a pound of weed on the floor next to the guy. He was hugging it like Tom Hanks hugged Wilson.

He looks up at me with a look of pure disgust and says “No, don’t take my kind bud.”

Alright pal.

14. This apparently is a thing?

There was a club where the male patrons were known to use.

The only women there were entertainment girls. We were driving down the street and saw a car pull out of the parking lot and roll through the stop. We did a traffic stop. I walked up on the driver’s side and as I was approaching, I saw it was one of the entertainment girls, so I was just going to give her a warning and head back to my car.

But as I was walking up she was kind of wriggling around in her seat, which made me a little cautious, so I slowed down. When I reached her window, she smiled up at me and said, “Hi deputy.” and then she looked down at her crotch. She had hiked up her short skirt and pulled her panties to the side.

I told my partner he should check out the VIN and walked back to our car. He raised an eyebrow, walked over to look at the VIN. He saw what I saw, came back to the car and said,

“Unusual place for a VIN”

13. The “Lady Gaga Program.”

Received a noise complaint at 230 AM. We went to make contact with the individual and when we arrived, the house was shaking to music that was so loud, you couldn’t understand the lyrics. We knock repeatedly with no response.

After shining our flashlights into the window, he sees our lights and walks past the front door into the garage. At this point, we are concerned for our safety because we have no idea why, or what, he went into the garage for.

He opens the door slowly, steps into the door way revealing this 60ish yr old man in nothing but his tightie whities looking like Walter White. He begins to apologize and follows up with “the Lady Gaga program is almost over anyways.”

Myself and the other officer can’t control our laughter, we ask him to turn it down and leave in tears.

12. It’s funny *now.*

Not sure if the guy in question actually tried to get out of a ticket, but at one time back in the day some colleagues & I were trading “war stories” in the break room at our office. One mentioned a fraternity brother when they were both pre-law at the U. of I. (name withheld to protect the clueless) who was pulled over one night in the wee hours on a stretch of I-57 near Champaign-Urbana.

The kid had apparently dropped some “windowpane” acid and was on the verge of suddenly going from Wonderland to a potentially very bad trip.

The state trooper walked over to the driver, examined his license and registration, noticed the guy was both terrified and spaced out, and gently asked, “son, do you have any idea how fast you were going?” Now, the speed limit was still 55 back then but the kid was freaking out over the possible consequences of confessing to his actual speed and gulped, “uh, sir… 75?” The trooper leaned in further and said, “son, here…on the freeway…in a 55 MPH zone…you were doing…twelve miles an hour!”

My friend was called, picked up his slow-tripper roomie, took him back to the frat house and sat with him till he “came down.” The trooper was laughing so hard (and had the keys anyway till my friend arrived) that there wasn’t even a written warning!

11. What a mess.

Officer for over twenty years in one of the largest cities in the U.S.

Neighbor called to report loud music and yelling in the apartment above his.

The tweaker inside fired at us through the door then got himself in the head.

He blew his jaw into pieces and the bullet went through the roof of his mouth and took out his eye before going through the ceiling.

He survived.

I got paid a lot of overtime.

10. The proof is in the…pudding?

On night, around 2 AM, I just completed assisting a motorist with a flat tire on H-1 Freeway west bound, when a white Ford Mustang blew by me at a high rate of speed. I chased the car with lights and siren on, clocking it at 120 mph.

As I caught up, the car slowed and pulled over. The vehicle belonged to an Army officer and had one occupant, a young lady in her 20’s.

After receiving her drivers license and other documents, she was apparently the spouse of the vehicle’s owner. I asked her why she was traveling at such a dangerously rate of speed. She said something like Oh, officer, I just started my period and I didn’t want to stain my shorts! (the shorts were white) She spread her legs wide as she could while she was talking!

I looked down and pointed my flashlight in the area of emphasis. I replied, well, miss, you are too late for that! Since there was no evidence of Driving While Intoxicated, I wrote her a ticket.

She was lucky, I could have busted her for reckless operation of a motor vehicle.

Anyway, that for me, ranks as the most inappropriate action by a motorist on a traffic stop.

9. Why are people?

I’m an officer, and a musician.

There’s a nearby town with a few bars on the edge of town. It’s a great area for live music venues because it’s out in the sticks and not many houses to bother. However, there’s this ONE prick citizen who drives around to all the venues on weekend nights with a sound meter and checks the level at the property line and calls if it’s 1db over the limit.

The local PD usually doesn’t respond, but it’s still a nuisance. When I’ve played there, the owners/managers warn our sound engineer to check levels.

It’s just a jerk move… you could have a gunfight in one of these places and it wouldn’t drown out the TV in the nearest house.

8. A lucky moment.

I was patrolling around about 3 in the morning and noticed a car parked in the middle of the road with it’s lights off in a residential neighborhood. I kind of figured whoever was in the car was probably passed out so I went to check before I got up to the door of the car this female opens the door rushes out and pulls off I think it’s called a tank top.

She was waving it around and I notice another car stop.

The person in the other car asked if he could be of help and I just asked him to stand there as a witness while I tried to get her shirt back on her because I could see you where this was going. He stood there and watched and I got his information when it was all over and had her locked up in the car and asked him if he would be a witness if necessary and he said of course.

I could see that she was probably going to say that I took her shirt off and to this day I thank God this guy came by.

When I went to a deposition later on of course that’s exactly what she said. The witness who had stopped in the car to render help just happened to be the state’s attorney. When her lawyer saw who the witness was he immediately moved to settle the case.

By the way she received two years for obstructing an officer and lying under oath. how lucky I was to have this man driving by at the same time this was going on.

7. That does sound noisy.

I went to a noise complaint recently, it ended in a double homicide.

Guy heard his mom accidentally shatter the oven door and snapped, did her in with a FN 5.7. Neighbors called in a noise complaint and thought it sounded like gunfire. Guy talks to them in a fake British accent, then get super agitated when they ask him about the noises.

Guy leaves the house and goes to a different county, where he stabs a guy about 20 times and steals his car. Guy comes back to his house the next day and neighbors let us know, and the SWAT team surprises him as he steps out back for a smoke.

Guy confessed the whole thing.

6. That’s one reaction.

I stopped a car on a 4 lane highway late at night.

The driver was an inebriated woman. A man was with her. After I dealt with her I had her stand at the back of her car and I was talking to the man who was still in the car. I looked back at the woman and she was standing in the middle of the left lane.

Traffic was coming and I rushed over and dragged her to the median then she went limp and just sat on the ground. When I tried to get her up her limp arms just flopped up over her head so I got a good grip on her and started picking her up and her arms flopped up again and I pulled her shirt off.

It was up on her arms then I pulled it back down over her. I guess she was willing to end it all just to get out of a DUI ticket.

5. I guess he was on a mission.

Responded to a house for a complaint of loud music around 11pm.

My back up gets there right before me and as i’m getting out of the car, shots are heard from the back yard.

We called for more units and made our way to the back of the house where we had to look through a 6 foot wooden fence to the back yard. We didn’t find anything or anyone once we got back there. So we circle around a few more houses just to make sure someone didn’t get hurt in the area.

Once we get back to the front of the original house, the back ups had arrived and we made contact with an older guy on the front screened in porch. He was sitting in a chair with his arm up on a small table to his side. We notice that right next to his arm is a loaded 44 magnum revolver. We draw on him and start giving him commands, and he throws obscenities at us. We can’t get to him because he’s inside of this porch.

He gets up and walks inside of his house. We all retreat to cover positions. About 20 seconds later, he opens the door with a rifle in his hand and shoots at one of us.

You can probably fill in the rest. There were 8 of us there.

4. You gotta love people.

Now I wasn’t giving out tickets for much of my service and my specialty was never giving out tickets, but the most inappropriate thing people regularly did was to nominate someone as a great mate who who get them out of the ticket and make my life heck, if I didn’t withdraw the ticket immediately.

These proclamations usually went something like this:

  • Chap:”I know so-an-so and once he finds out what you’ve done your life will be heck unless you take this ticket back.”
  • Me:”Yeah, I known so-and-so for 5 years (followed sotto voce) and I in all of my dealings with him I’ve only ever thought of him as an utter arsehole. (normal voice) Here’ your penalty notice sir (explain how to pay).”

Afterwards I usually speak to the officer whose good standing is being abused.

Once, though, one chap said, “I know Sergeant Savage and once he finds out what you’ve done he’ll make your life hell unless you take this ticket back.” Me:”Yeah, I known Savage for ages and my life is pretty much heck anyway. Do your best sir, here’ your penalty notice (explain how to pay the penalty notice:”

I mean?!? how dumb was this dude!?!? I was wearing a badge with my name printed on it. I’d never see the driver before or since.

3. Sounds like quite a party.

Forth of July, we get a noise complaint. Big crackdown on fireworks at the time so we had to respond to every one of these calls.

Get there and find a family having a party and setting off fireworks in the street. Give them a warning and leave. Call comes in again within an hour, go back and give another warning

This happens again before, on the fourth call, a supervisor comes too. He gets to the door prepared to give the homeowner a summons. Instead, the wife slams the door on his leg. That’s when all hell breaks loose.

He calls for the wife and husband to be taken in but before anyone gets cuffed, the entire party (over 40 people) start streaming out of the house and a full brawl ensues. Someone calls 10-13 (radio code for all units) and the entire precinct responds.

It takes almost an hour to wrangle everyone up and 30 people got locked up.

2. She probably doesn’t agree.

I stopped a woman with three kids in the back one Sunday morning on her way to church, or so she said.

I asked for her license and registration and proof of insurance and she said it was in her purse in the backseat.

OK, now she had on a pretty short skirt to begin with so instead of just reaching back and getting her purse, which she easily could have reached, or having one of the kids hand it to her, she unbuckles her seat belt, turns around in the seat, and bends over the back of the seat.

Now everything was on full display and she knew exactly what she was doing and so did I.

She got the ticket and I got the show. A win/win if you ask me.

1. A slow response.

Called in to the location station about a alarm going off on the apartment next door. They said if it was fire the fire trucks would arrive.

It was going off for 2 hours so I went and checked it out. It was a pump alarm so I was an annoying person and kept calling the station until some one came out.

Officers make the fire people come. Turns out a small electrical fire that taken the whole system off line and was still smoldering.

The building had serious wiring and fire suppression issues.

I’d hate to think what would of happened if I wasn’t a pain in the neck.

I’m telling you, any job that involves dealing with the public is going to have these days!

If you’re an officer, did and of these sound familiar? Let us know in the comments what you could consider your own worst day!

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