15 Red Flags When It Comes to Finding a Therapist, According to Patients

Admitting that you need help takes a lot of courage, which is why you want to make sure you get the help you deserve from someone who is qualified to give it. A bad therapist might be worse than not talking to anyone at all. And when you found out you’ve been seeing a bad one, it sucks.

It sucks so bad, AskReddit put out a call for red flags to look for according to both experienced patients and other therapists. Hopefully this’ll help keep you away from any real quacks.

#15. Bad advice.

“When your 3 month pregnant fiance is killed suddenly and the therapist says “You shouldn’t cry.”

Lol. Im tough as nails… but yeah bro. Bad advice.”

#14. You’re gonna see someone else.

“When they get angry that you’re gonna see someone else… my old coworker said that to her therapist and that lady flipped out on her…”

#13. No other comments or helpful dialogue.

“Asking questions like “What can I help you with?” and getting short or frustrated with you when you have trouble producing a tangible issue with an elegant and easily forecasted solution.​

Asking “How does that make you feel?”, or something similar over and over, with no other comments or helpful dialogue.”

#12. Gee, thanks lady.

“from my old therapist: “But emotional abuse isn’t really abuse, right?”

Gee, thanks lady.”

#11. When you pay in advance.

“He offers complementary Prozac when you pay in advance for 3 sessions or more.”

#10. Therapy isn’t one size fits all.

“This is a less glaring red flag, but a therapist should always tell you that it’s okay if their style of therapy doesn’t work for you. They should be open about the fact that it’s okay to stop and see someone else. They should also tell you that they’d like you to tell them if they make you uncomfortable/mad etc.

I feel like so many people would have better experiences with therapy if therapists were open that they aren’t perfect, all-knowing, brain-fixing psychics. Therapy isn’t one size fits all.”

#9. Turns out he got paid.

“They get kickbacks for prescriptions.

I had a therapist keep me on an SSRI that made my moodswings worse to the point I tried to kill myself. Every time I expressed concern, he told me to “just keep giving it a chance,” and got angry when I quit. Turns out, he got paid for every patient he got on Celexa.

Edit: Because everyone points it out, yes he was a psychiatrist. I just misused the word therapist.”

#8. Confidentiality.

“They break confidentiality by talking to your parents, spouse, etc about your sessions.”

#7. She forgot key details.

“Mine was okay at first but later forgot key details in what was going on with me, began to judge some lifestyle choices in ways that were pretty much just “oh it’s only a phase” and kept repeating to me that I have a hulk inside me and need to just keep it under control as his only “technique.” Still in the market for a new one but there aren’t many where I live

Edit since there were a few questions being asked:

I was absolutely a very angry person before. I ruined things with my ex because of how easily I would become upset/angry. But I’m a teacher and I’m genuinely struggling to become a better person both for my sake and the sake of my students. I genuinely tried to implement what this therapist was discussing with me, and I know these are just words so maybe it’s difficult to believe but when I had to answer the questions “who is x person, and who is y person? And fell me where you work again?” over and over again, on top of the therapist forgetting that my parents are divorced and so on, it was difficult. I gave him the benefit of the doubt for a long time, but I’m surprised this information was not in his notes.

And for the most part, all that he offered was, again, breathing techniques to calm down and stop the hulk within. First off, I wasn’t so angry to the point I would punch things or anything like that. I would get more upset than angry. I struggled a lot wondering if I was a good person and being treated like I was this hulk just made me feel worse. To some extent I can see why that might sound like something I don’t want to hear. But the reality is that I needed more than just anger management and I didn’t want that to be the main focus and reminder of the damage I had done to my life.

Nowadays I’ve learned to just not stop moving. I wake up early to do a few chores, go to work and spend nearly ten hours of my day doing that (that includes commuting). I come home and I’ll exercise, cook, read, game, watch tv, write…anything to just keep moving. If I stop to think too much I get severely depressed so i think i know now to just not stop. But frankly it’s tiring. That’s why I’m going to do my best to come to terms with everything and that’s why I’m searching for a therapist who can guide me and show me the skills needed to do so.

I am considering online therapy but I would prefer in person because I think that works best for me. I have already looked into a therapist about two hours away from me and plan on making monthly trips if that works out. Thank you all for the support!”

#6. Professionalism.

“Lack of punctuality or professionalism. Showing up late, last minute cancellations, deciding to take a non emergency call during a session etc. These show that they are not committed to helping you and don’t value your time.”

#5. The first guy I saw.

“The first guy I saw was cringing with a fake smile on the whole time I talked. Like what I said was beyond crazy and not things every 15 year old says. It was off putting and I’ve really not gone back.”

#4. Facial expressions.

“Facial expressions of disgust or condescension while their mouth is professing compassion or understanding.”

#3. Texting.

“She’s texting while you’re talking.”

#2. Yes, that’s why I’m here.

“I had a therapist once who simply said “that must be so hard” to basically everything I said. Yes, it is, that’s why I’m here, do you have any way to make it better?”

#1. Go find you a good one.

“Starts the session by telling you that he was once formally disciplined for having an inappropriate relationship with a patient, and then ends it by inviting you to meet up to do some 1-on-1 yoga with him. Later that week, he shows up in your LinkedIn feed for having viewed your profile.

PS – If you have a bad experience with a therapist (like this one that I had, described above), don’t write off therapy. There are bad counselors just like there are bad dentists and bad teachers and bad hair stylists. Walk away from that one and go find you a good one.”

Be happy and healthy, my friends.

The post 15 Red Flags When It Comes to Finding a Therapist, According to Patients appeared first on UberFacts.

Here Are 15 Useful Skills Your 13-Year-Old Might Need in the Future

Just a heads up, none of these people are experts. Nor are they psychics who can see the future. But if you’re looking for inspiration, or maybe some ways to think outside the box when it comes to preparing your young teenagers for what awaits them in this big, bad, world, these 15 people have some poignant thoughts.

#15. Good study habits.

“Am in college rn.

Please learn good study habits. Holy god. Just do it.

You should also really try and keep all your grades as high as you can. I’m not kidding, a few points here and a few points there cost me 4K in scholarship. It’ll happen to you, too.

Also, don’t get too messed up about girls in high school. It’s not worth ruining a year or two over. Promise.”

#14. Practice.

“Guitar and/or piano. Seriously. Your mom wants you to practice, fucking practice. The ability to casually produce music in social settings will set you apart wherever you go. You don’t even need to be good – just able to make sounds that go in the right order.

And if you don’t learn it now, you never will.”

#13. Nobody is obligated.

“Less “skill” and more “life lesson”

NOBODY is obligated to like you.”

#12. When things go wrong.

“Learn to handle when things go wrong, because they will, and often.”

#11. Make it up.

“No joke, learn to bullshit. It’s more important later in life than you think.

Learn how to talk to people in a way that makes them feel comfortable and have confidence in you. I learned by having a retail job, it teaches you how to connect to people (also some humility). This is useful from the boardroom to the bedroom.

And in case you haven’t figured it out yet, writing papers (essays, reports, etc.) is like 90% bullshit. In college, grab some sources and you can sum up your point in two paragraphs. Bullshitting will allow you to turn that into 2,000 word essay.

Incompetent people that can bullshit become middle management. Competent people that can bullshit become presidents.”

#10. Never forget this.

“Ok, so you’ve got $100. If you let it sit in a savings account for a year at 5% interest, then after one year, it’ll be worth $105.

But here’s where it gets awesome. If you then let that $105 sit there for ANOTHER year, then you get 5% interest on $105 instead of the original $100. So after two years, it’s $110.30. And then $115.80. And so on and so on.

That concept is called compound interest. You get interest on the interest you already earned, and it builds on itself year after year. If you start talking about amounts that are much bigger than $100. Like $100,000 or so? Then those amounts start adding up like crazy.

Now remember that the exact same thing happens to money that you OWE someone.

Never forget this.”

#9. In the long run.

“How to cook for yourself and do your own laundry. Also, tons of financial stuff, learning to properly handle money now will help you out a ton in the long run.”

#8. You never know.

“The two things I used in college that I wished I had known all along were WolframAlpha and the automation features in Excel.

Wolframalpha.com can do integrals, derivatives, areas, volumes, and even compare things like “Number of men in New York City divided by the number of women in Nanjing” which is pretty cool.

Excel can do a lot of work for you if you learn a few tools. VLOOKUP, SUMIFS, and Pivot Tables and Pivot Charts will be super helpful.

It won’t hurt anybody if you do learn some very rudimentary programming as well. There are plenty of free Java tutorials that can give you some tools you can apply to a lot of topics. For example, my wife got a masters in Public Health, and never imagined she’d use programming, but she ended up having to learn a statistical analysis tool that basically needs to be programmed to use. You never know.”

#7. How to ask for help.

“Learn how to ask for help. Don’t have someone else do everything for you, but it’s good to recognize when you genuinely don’t know how to do something so that you can ask someone who does. Can save a lot of time and stress, and you’ll probably learn it better than if you just muddled through on your own.”

#6. Labors of love.

“General yard labour, just to get a little bit of an idea of how to use some tools, and do some sort of manual labour.”

#5. Challenge ideas.

“How to think critically. Challenge ideas from your parents, your teachers, what you see, what you read. Above all those, challenge the ideas of your peers.

And read a damn book once in a while, just for fun.”

#4. Life skills.

“Sewing. The ability to replace buttons and repair small tears will save you a lot of money on clothing you would otherwise throw out or replace.

Cooking. You can make healthy, delicious food for a lot less money than eating out. Bonus for guys, chicks dig a guy who can cook well.

Reading. In a lot of schools, reading is not taught very well, so students commonly feel like it isn’t worth their time to read because they never learned to enjoy it. Books are great free entertainment and they are a wonderful way to learn and grow as a person!

Exercise. You need to know how to keep yourself fit, because it is a hell of a lot easier to get fit at 13 and stay that way than it is to try to get fit at 30.

Work Ethic. Any task worth doing is worth doing well. Cliche? Yes, but cliches exist for a reason, they are constantly applicable. Learn how to work well, how to get shit done without complaining or shirking. Employers and peers recognize people with good work ethics and respect them for it.

Dressing. Learn how to dress well, what clothes work for your body shape and what don’t. Learn how to match and contrast colors and put together outfits. Seriously, this is a very underrated skill and it can pay off. Simply looking stylish and put together can get you through doors that might otherwise be closed.

Finance. Develop good financial habits now, and they will pay dividends (pun intended) later. Live within your means. If you have a credit card, live by a rule of “if I can’t pay off the balance at the end of the month, I can’t afford it.” This one took me WAY too long to learn and I’m trying to play catch up.”

#3. Think for yourself.

“Learn to think for yourself. I’m not saying go out and challenge all authority but don’t let people push you into doing things you don’t want to do in life. Listen to what people have to say, absorb that information and form your own opinions and ideas from it. Too many people get pushed into careers or educational paths they don’t necessarily want to go into because they feel pressured by one person or another to do it. Think before you do.”

#2. Phone calls.

“Learn how to make serious phone calls for making appointments or asking for info. If online info about a business or service is vague or confusing, being able to directly ask a person makes things much less confusing.

It helps to develop a short script to frontload relevant info. “hello, my name is [X], I’m calling to ask about [y]/ I’m calling to schedule an appointment with [z], etc…”

Then learn info that’s commonly needed alongside it for when they ask for it. Address, phone number they can reach you at, driver’s license number, (careful with this one) SSN if you’re in America. Only give that sorta info out when asked, have it ready to go though.

Phone calls still have a very important role in communication even today, and when you need to do serious planning with someone else there’s no substitute to a phone call save for face-to-face meeting.”

#1. Types of knots.

“How to do 1 or 2 different types of tie knots. Regardless of gender this is both easy and quite useful. Being able to make a tie look really good can sometimes save the day.”

 

Good luck out there, parents of teens!

The post Here Are 15 Useful Skills Your 13-Year-Old Might Need in the Future appeared first on UberFacts.

Here’s What Monthly Income It Takes to Rent a House in Each State

Looking to take the big step and move out on your own? I mean, you can’t stay in your parents’ basement forever, right? Well…some people do, but I’m not so sure you want them as role models.

HowMuch.net recently put together an interesting infographic that shows just how much income you need to rent a house in every state. Needless to say, it might be time to ask for a raise.

(Click the image to expand)

Photo Credit: HowMuch

Based on research data from the popular housing website Zillow, HowMuch calculated the average price of rental property in each state. The final number shown on the map is based on the rule that housing costs should not exceed 30 percent of net income. Whether you are a math whiz or not, it does not take a genius to figure out that renting a home takes a whole lot of cash.

Though the map does not take into account variances by city, there are some eye-popping numbers that will also have your bank account cringing with fear.

Photo Credit: HowMuch

Care to rent a home in the nation’s capital? To nab the average rental property, you’ll need to make nearly $8,500 per month. Good luck having anything left over for furniture.

Photo Credit: HowMuch

Other pricey states for housing rentals include California ($8,313), Hawaii ($7,806) and New York ($7,223). I don’t know about you, but at that price living at home is starting to sound a lot more appealing.

Depending on your location and finances, it may even make sense to buy rather than rent. It’s important to do your research and crunch the numbers before you plunge into the housing market. Then again, maybe spending another year down the hall from mom and dad isn’t so bad after all.

The post Here’s What Monthly Income It Takes to Rent a House in Each State appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ More of the Biggest “Plot Twists” People Have Experienced in Their Lives

We typically only think of plot twists as things that happen in the movies – a big reveal that changes all that came before it. But, sometimes, they make their way into real life in surprising ways.

These 12 people took to Reddit to share some of the most surprising plot twists from their lives.

Enjoy!

1. A medical evaluation

“My wife’s uncle is an incredibly nice guy who absolutely adores his wife. We started hearing about marital issues. He was becoming more and more argumentative. And then he hit her. They separated. He harassed her to the point that she got a restraining order. He defied the restraining order and was put in jail.

In jail, his issues got him a medical evaluation. Turns out, he had a brain tumor. They removed it. He returned to normal and was released from jail. They’re back together with him back to his wife-adoring self.”

2. Birth father

“I was adopted from South America to the US when I was a toddler and have no memory of my birth parents. I had an older friend/mentor I met in college. I knew him as Mike. He got me involved in the local church and always went out of his way to help me when I needed someone. I never got to thank him for being there for all the times I needed him. After graduating from college I got to meet my birth mother. She did not know where my father was though. When she died, I got a few of her belongings including some pictures. Guess who was in those pictures?

Mike. He was my birth father.

I tried to reach out to him again and I haven’t heard anything.

No one seems to know where he is now. He knew all of those years that he helped me and went out of his way. I knew this because he always seemed to help me even though he didn’t need to. Back then I just thought he was especially nice but thinking back now he definitely knew something about our relationship that I did not.”

3. *Drop the mic*

“A few years ago, I got invited to a friend’s engagement party. They were throwing a huge bash because they were planning on a very small destination wedding. Later in the evening, my friend’s fiancé took the mic and started thanking everyone for being there.

‘Sorry, Jen will be out to thank you guys in a minute, she’s just having a wardrobe malfunction.’ He went on to tell the story about how they met, how they were best friends and decided to get engaged and finished with something along the lines of, ‘We wish you could all be there and that we could get married right now.

So we’re going to.’

Out walks Jen in her wedding dress.”

4. Dementia

“During the last year of my grandfather’s life, he had dementia and was having trouble keeping track of reality. Before he was placed into hospice, he kept complaining about a man that was in his house. He would say that he would come around at night and that he was taking his things and using his stuff. Grandma, of course, kept reassuring him that she was the only one there. His doctor increased his medications because he was losing touch with reality so badly.

Fast forward to my grandfather’s funeral and a man showed up who wasn’t known by more than a few people in the family.

Turns out, he was an old friend of my grandmother’s who showed up to give his support. In a small town like that, it wasn’t exactly an unusual thing to have random people show up to the funeral home who knew the person at some point.

Well, about a year later, my grandmother let slip that she was seeing someone: the guy from the funeral. At this point nothing too odd, they got to talking at church and we thought it was sweet.

Then a bit later sweet, innocent ol’ grandma mentioned that it was their third anniversary.

Grandpa died two years prior. This man was the person that grandpa saw in his house every night. He was the reason that everyone thought grandpa was going crazy, he was the reason that my grandfather was medicated to the point of being a vegetable for the last horrible year of his life.”

5. Bitter rivals

“The little town I grew up in had these two car dealerships on opposite sides of town – one Chevy, one Ford.

They were bitter rivals. Attack ads, bad mouthing talking salesman, billboard wars, you name it.

When the owner of the Chevy dealership died, it came out he’d also owned the Ford dealership by way of a shell company.

No one saw that coming, including a lot of the higher-ups who worked at the dealerships.”

6. Reserved and distant

“My grandfather’s funeral. He was always a fairly reserved and distant father, as far as I understood. He would definitely fit the stereotype of a northern dockworker who comes home expecting dinner to be on the table and then goes to the pub all evening via the bookies.

Anyway, an unsurprising heart attack later, we all gathered for his funeral.

We’re a big, but close family so we know everyone, including his friends. However, one guy turns up, about the same age as my dad and his siblings, who nobody knew.

Long story short, turns out it was my grandfather’s son.

From another family. From another marriage. That went on for as long as his marriage to my grandmother. My grandfather had maintained two marriages over 40 years, having seven children with my grandmother and just the one with this other woman.

They knew about our family and kept away. Apparently, my grandmother knew about them but kept quiet.

Turns out he wasn’t going to the pub every night.”

7. First apartment and new job

“1991, I was 19 and had just signed the lease for my first (solo) apartment. I just got the first paycheck from my new job and I deposited the paycheck at an ATM (another first! I’d always gone into the bank to do it).

Two weeks later, I got my bank statement in the mail and saw with horror that I had only $1.87 in my account. Way wrong, I should have at least $200, I’d been very careful with my spending. I freaked, I came within $2 of bouncing my first rent check.

I was literally reaching for the phone to call the bank when the phone rang.

It’s the police, asking if my ATM card was stolen. I checked my wallet and the card was missing (my job at a theater pub came with cash tips so I didn’t use the card often), and told them I was about to call them anyway because I was missing $200 from my account.

‘Well, we’ve got your card, and your $200, so come down to the police station,’ they told me.

I couldn’t figure out how they have my card AND the cash. It just didn’t make sense, so I drove down there.

The detective said someone (let’s call him Bob) pulled in to use an ATM and saw a man acting suspiciously while he was using it: moving back and forth as if trying to dodge the camera.

Bob said the man then left the ATM, got into a car, and drove away at high speeds as if fleeing the scene. Bob then went to the ATM and put his card in, which popped out. Bob then withdrew $200, and then another ATM card popped out.

My card. Bob’s card had popped out because the crook had left my card in the ATM before speeding away. Bob realized he had withdrawn the money from my account, not his, so he brought my card and the cash to the police and reported the attempted theft.

The detective gave me the description of the crook.

According to Bob, it was a man 5’7″, brown hair, round gold-rimmed glasses. I say out loud, ‘So, about my height, my color hair, and glasses like mine,’ before realizing Bob was describing me.

I’d never deposited a check in an ATM before, so I was moving back and forth, following the instructions on the screen, filling out the envelope with my account number, punching the amount in, etc.

I then forgot to take my card out and just left because I’m a giant idiot. I drove away at high speeds because I was 19 and that’s how I drove everywhere.

Worried the detective might be annoyed, I didn’t tell him I was the crook, I just thanked him and left with the money I ‘stole’ from myself.

Somewhere in a box in my closet, I still have the police report where I’m both the victim and the perp.”

8. Stalker

“When I was a senior in high school, there was freshman girl that ‘Single White Femaled’ me. She would follow me around and tell me how cool and funny I was. She asked what hair product I used, what body spray, where I bought my clothes, etc.

I was not funny or cool, and honestly, it was flattering at first. She styled her hair like mine but it was a high school in the 90’s and we all pretty much did our hair the same. Then she started dressing like me. Then she got involved in all the activities I was in.

Then she started telling people we were cousins. She found my home number in the phone book (again, the 90’s) and would call me all the freaking time. It was weird. I just went out of my way to avoid her.

After my graduation ceremony, she found me on the field and hugged me. She was sobbing- big ugly, snotty sobs- telling me how she was going to miss me and the school wouldn’t be the same without me there. I peaced out and then completely forgot about her.

Flash forward nine years and I’m just beginning to date the man that is now my husband.

We’re going through old pictures and I see this girl from high school. And I’m like, ‘Hey! I know this girl! She was this weird chick that stalked me in high school! Why do you have a picture of her?’

It was his ex-wife.”

9. A perfect match

“I met a guy online, he was cool, found out he lived less than two hours from where I live.

We meet up. First time seeing each other’s actual faces.

Total doppelgangers.

Turns out his father is my bio father’s older brother.

Both our bio dads bailed before we were born. We both were abused as kids by teachers (him at 15, me at 13). Both us have soy allergies and Lysinuric Protein Intolerance (it’s genetic).

And both of us joined the army and failed out during BCT due to undiagnosed mental health issues.

Our lives had run parallel to each other. He’s only a year older than me.

We meet every month for drinks.”

10. Brutal

“My high school sweetheart’s best friend let me know that my girlfriend cheated on me with multiple guys at a party. I broke things off with her that same day. It was a very nasty breakup.

Years and years later, I got a message on Facebook from her best friend.

She explained to me that my high school sweetheart never cheated on me, she just wanted to break us up so that she could have me for herself because I seemed like the ‘perfect boyfriend.’

Her plan backfired because I thought she was ugly, inside and out, and as soon as I broke things off with my girlfriend, I wanted nothing to do with her.

Between her plan failing and the guilt of ruining an otherwise great relationship, she decided to keep her mouth shut.

I don’t know if she told her best friend, but I know that I never will.”

11. So noble

“My sister’s boyfriend decided that he wanted to do more with his architecture skills, so he gave his two weeks notice and moved to Haiti to help rebuild after the earthquake. They stayed together. He had bad phone service, so they mostly kept in touch through emails.

He would send her long emails with photos and stories of what they were doing. This went on for a couple of months.

One off-handed tip from a co-worker and a week of sleuthing later and it turns out he never went to Haiti.

He moved to Seattle to be with his fiance and partner of nine years.”

12. Sort of looked familiar

“I met this girl out at a bar, got her name and number and we agreed to meet up for lunch. Lunch dates are nice because you automatically have a discreet timeframe.

We were chatting before ordering and we got to talking about who I knew from the small town she was from.

I mentioned that she has the same last name as my cousins who live there, just spelled differently. She asked who and I couldn’t remember their first names, but the two youngest are twins. She said, ‘X and Y?’

I said, ‘YES!

that’s it!’ We aren’t a terribly close family.

I looked at her and she was curled up in the smallest posture in what feels like she is sitting behind her chair as she said, ‘I was married to X.’

I let out a tremendous laugh and said, ‘I thought you sort of looked familiar.

You were at grandpa’s funeral right?’ She says yes, and I smirked saying, ‘Thought you were cute then too.’

I hadn’t eaten yet and was starving, so we ordered a sandwich and tried to pretend it wasn’t weird.

When the date ended, I called my mom immediately and told her coyly about the date I had.

Me: ‘Hey mom.’

Mom: ‘Hey honey, how’s it going?’

Me: ‘I just went on this date with this great girl, so much in common blah blah blah, I don’t know if we’ll see each other again though.’

Mom: ‘Why not?’

Me: ‘You and Dad went to her first wedding!’

Couldn’t have made a story up that was this good if I tried.”

The post 10+ More of the Biggest “Plot Twists” People Have Experienced in Their Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

12+ Tweets That Perfectly Capture What It Means to Be an Adult

Entering into adulthood is like having a curtain pulled back revealing a part of the world you never knew existed.

When we were kids, we believed all kinds of things about the world that we now know are totally wrong. And once we’ve graduated, well…there’s no going back.

All we can do now is buckle up and enjoy these 15 tweets about what it really means to be an adult.

1. Oh, how wrong we were…

2. Ain’t like it used to be.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @batkaren

3. An endless cycle.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @persianthotz_

4. Endurance is key.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @ari_b15

5. An unexpected reversal.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @diegxrubixe

6. Better safe than sorry.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @timbolton1

7. Wow. This is too true.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @_kneefuh

8. Don’t get them confused!

Photo Credit: Twitter: @valeegrrl

9. He’s got a good point.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @boyyeetsworld

10. A daily struggle.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @barbattjocelyn

11. Bookstores just ain’t the same.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @merman_melville

12. Welp, I guess we’ll never see each other again.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @jenlynn

13. A blessing or a curse?

Photo Credit: Twitter: @primawesome

14. Dinner’s ruined.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @__sofetch

15. Simple enough.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @technicallyron

Alright, gang, let’s get out there and do some adulting today!

The post 12+ Tweets That Perfectly Capture What It Means to Be an Adult appeared first on UberFacts.

These 10+ People Are Here to Remind You That Not All Humans Are Total Garbage

There’s so much doom, gloom, and sadness in the world today, that it can be tough to remember that most people are trying their hardest to do good. The 12 people below will remind you of not only of people’s intrinsic instinct for good, but that there are those among us willing to go above and beyond to answer the call of kindness.

These people are heroes.

#12. “A hero lives in my home town.

Image Credit: Reddit

More people who drive this make/model of car need to do this.

#11. “Not the hero I deserve, but the one I needed”

Image Credit: Imgur

Apparently there are a lot of these caped crusaders running around.

#10. “Thank you unsung hero for paying it forward.”

Image Credit: Reddit

Real heroes aren’t afraid to touch the toilet seat to leave a much needed warning.

#9. “A hero walks among us.”

Image Credit: Reddit

Some might say he has too much time on his hands. Others see a hero.

#8. A woman after my own heart.

Image Credit: Twitter

#7. “Working Class Hero”

Image Credit: Imgur

This man is a better friend than I.

#6. “The hero we deserve.”

Image Credit: Reddit

It’s the thought that counts.

#5. “Mexican Hero”

Image Credit: Reddit

A real American hero.

#4. “There are also some who take justice into their own hands:”

Image Credit: Reddit

I mean, how can you not cease and desist with such polite language?

#3. “This Man Is A National Hero”

Image Credit: Reddit

A sense of humor is priceless.

#2. I’m pretty sure she’d get some votes.

Image Credit: Twitter

#1. “Then you have the ones that leave messages meant to help you prosper:”

Image Credit: Reddit

I feel like our society’s need to rate things might be getting out of hand.

I don’t know about you, but I feel better now. A little.

The post These 10+ People Are Here to Remind You That Not All Humans Are Total Garbage appeared first on UberFacts.

“Find Your Passion” Is Terrible Life Advice and Here’s Why

These days, teenagers are told to “find their passion,” so they’ll never have to ‘work’ a day in their lives. After all, if you love what you’re doing, blah, blah, blah…we’ve heard it all before.

And it is total crap, you guys. I’m lucky enough to make a living at something I’m passionate about – writing. But (newsflash) that in no way means that it’s not work, that there isn’t stress that goes along with doing it, or that there are days when I’d rather not.

In the old days, people were encouraged to go into a line of work that could sustain them for a lifetime and offer a good pension. If you were lucky, it would also give you some savings to pass on to your kids.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Not to mention, what if someone’s passion won’t pay the bills? Or won’t help them get rid of their student loans? Do we ask people to choose between what they love and what pays? If so, will they feel like failures when they actually have to choose?

A recent study backs up the negative side of encouraging teenagers and young people to follow their passion, as well – it’s a collaboration between Yale and the National University of Singapore and looks at the differences between people who have a “fixed mindset” and a “growth mindset.”

A fixed mindset is “the almost mystical belief that passions are revealed to us magically,” while a growth mindset relies on the idea that interests change and develop over time.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

And guess what? People with the growth mindset turn out to be generally happier, successful, and more fulfilled (according to the study). One of the lead authors explains further to Quartz:

“Parents, teachers, and employers might get the most out of people if they suggest that interests are developed, not simply found. Telling people to find their passion could suggest that it’s within you just waiting to be revealed. Telling people to follow their passion suggests that the passion will do the lion’s share of the work for you.”

The important thing is to frame the conversation in a way that makes it clear that passions can and should be developed – and that they don’t necessarily just appear in your life one day. If you don’t work at it, it most likely won’t become your passion, and what we’re passionate about at 17, or 25, or even 30 might not be the thing that gets us going when we’re 40.

Study author Paul O’Keefe is careful to point out that a growth mindset doesn’t promote a lack of focus, either.

“One can have a growth theory and still be highly focused. A growth mindset makes people more open to new and different interests and sustains those interests when pursuing them becomes difficult.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Also, you know, it’s okay to choose a career that interests you and will make you money while pursuing a passion on the side until the day comes (or not) when you find that it’s able to sustain you. I have many, many author friends who truly enjoy their day job and write their stories at night – even people who have multiple publishing contracts under their belt.

There’s no shame in contributing to your family’s financial security and finding time for your (current) passion on the side – and having these conversations early(ish) can benefit young people struggling to solidify a vision for their future.

The post “Find Your Passion” Is Terrible Life Advice and Here’s Why appeared first on UberFacts.

Dad Defends His Son’s Desire to Wear Nail Polish…And The Internet Agrees

The term “toxic masculinity” gets thrown around a lot these days, but in case you forgot what it means, let us give you a quick reminder:

It refers to the culture of masculinity that aggressively promotes gender stereotypes in boys – not crying, sucking it up, fighting it out, wearing “boy” things and liking “boy” toys and the idea that anything less is feminine and totally unacceptable.

Many believe this mindset and the passing of it from one generation to the next has forced males to become emotionally repressed, unable to connect on a meaningful, personal level and too scared to show any emotion for fear of being judged. Basically, girls are allowed a larger realm of socially acceptable feelings and interaction-types that boys are denied.

Well, now that many millennial parents are in charge and aware of the dangers of raising boys in this way, they’re keen on changing the narrative for both genders. Dad Aaron Gouveia, is clearly in these ranks of new-style parents. Recently, he just about lost his sh*t in a Twitter rant after some other kindergartners made his 5-year-old son Sam cry because he dared to wear polished nails to school.

In many ways, Gouveia says, Sam is a rough and tumble “boys boy” but he just thinks polished nails “look beautiful” – and they do – and his parents have no problem with him dressing himself however he wants. But one day, he wore them to school, and everything changed.

“When my wife picked him up from school he collapsed into her arms and cried uncontrollably. He was devastated at how other kids turned on him, even his friends. He asked them to stop but that just made it worse. Only 1 kid stood up for him.”

The full thread is below, and I dare you to not cry by the time you get to the end.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The next couple of tweets really brought it home – no little boy is born with these toxic ideas of what a man should be, which means they’re learning it from someone/somewhere.


Photo Credit: Twitter

This big brother, y’all. This is what family is all about.

Photo Credits: Twitter

Go out there and encourage your kids to celebrate individuality, people – or at the very least to follow this oldie but goodie: If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

The post Dad Defends His Son’s Desire to Wear Nail Polish…And The Internet Agrees appeared first on UberFacts.

Growing up in a House Filled with Books Is Good for You, Study Confirms

Books are the best, huh? I’ve got piles upon piles around my house. And I’ve actually read a decent bit of them! But there are still plenty I haven’t read yet, which makes me feel a little guilty.

Believe it or not, there’s actually a word for my affliction…

Photo Credit: did you know?

The good news, however, is my so-called “affliction” may mean I’m smarter than you. A study by researchers led by Joanna Sikora of Australian National University showed that people who had around 80 books in their home while growing up tend to have average literacy scores, which is defined as “the ability to read effectively to participate in society and achieve personal goals,” and people with less than 80 books tend to have below-average literacy.

According to the study, the literacy rate continues to rise as the number of books increases, but after 350 books, the rate remains steady. So, based on this study, I should be a genius (sadly, that isn’t the case).

Photo Credit: iStock

The subjects were between the ages of 25 and 65, and came from 31 countries around the world. Before they were tested, they were asked to estimate how many books they had in their home when they were 16 years old. The researchers found that “growing up with home libraries boosts adult skills in these areas beyond the benefits accrued from parental education, or [one’s] own educational or occupational attainment.”

Photo Credit: Unsplash,Chris Benson

The study also showed that there is a relationship between having books at home and having positive skill sets such as reading comprehension, math skills, and the ability to use digital technology to communicate.

So get back to reading (and buying) those books!

The post Growing up in a House Filled with Books Is Good for You, Study Confirms appeared first on UberFacts.

Man Still Mows Ex-Wife’s Lawn Even Though They’ve Been Divorced for 28 Years

Now, this is a feel-good story. Even when a marriage doesn’t work out, that doesn’t mean two people can’t continue a healthy relationship and help each other out.

Photo Credit: Facebook

This now-viral post was shared by Codie LaChelle McPhate, the couple’s daughter. She wrote:

“This is my dad, mowing my mom’s lawn. They’ve been divorced 28 years. When my younger siblings questioned ‘Why is your dad mowing mom’s lawn?’ I told them ‘Because she needed help, and he knew she couldn’t get out here to do it, so he did.’”

Photo Credit: Facebook

McPhate explained that her mom has bad knees and her stepdad is often out of town, so her dad steps up and helps when he can.

“This is co-parenting. This is how lucky I am to have 4 parents who respect each other, and know that at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is showing your children (even ones that are 32 years old) how to treat people, and how to love your family, no matter how it came together,” she added.

In an interview with Scary Mommy, Codie said this helpful attitude isn’t new for her parents.

“They’ve never let on that their relationship was bad or good. It’s always been ‘we’re a family and that’s all you need to know. To this day, I don’t even know why my parents got divorced. My mom always said ‘it’s none of your business, it wasn’t your marriage, it was mine.’”

The two are a great example of how to parent through a tricky time. Children don’t need to be involved in their parents’ drama, they only need to know they’re safe and that they have a family who cares about them no matter what.

Photo Credit: Facebook

After the post went viral, Codie’s dad weighed in, proving that he’s still raising the bar. He said that he’s “not a saint,” but that “we should all choose kindness whenever we can.”

Amen to that.

The post Man Still Mows Ex-Wife’s Lawn Even Though They’ve Been Divorced for 28 Years appeared first on UberFacts.