This Simple Dating Test Helps You Identify Potentially Abusive Partners

Here’s a shocking stat: intimate partner violence affects nearly 20 people around the U.S. every single minute. That’s over 10 million victims every year! It’s clearly a problem that needs to be tackled head-on, and we simply can’t afford to keep it hidden behind closed doors any longer.

Abusive relationships are notoriously difficult (and dangerous) to escape, so naturally, the best solution would be to never enter one in the first place. But with abuse so common, and abusers so sneaky, how can people possibly avoid them all?

One domestic violence counselor has a test to help out. The “No Test,” as he calls it, can help identify potential abusers early in a relationship.

Photo Credit: Pexels

“The No Test is basically to watch out for the way your partner responds the first time you change your mind or say no,” Rob explained on ABC News.

“While expressing disappointment is OK, it’s not the same as annoyed. Annoyed is ‘how dare you,’ a sign of ownership or entitlement.”

Rob points out that this test isn’t new knowledge for most women. Instead, the test helps validate that gut feeling that abusers are so good at manipulating you to ignore. It’s okay to say no to people. It never warrants anger.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

An important thing to remember, too, is that people don’t enter relationships with abusers on purpose. Abusers are quite good at charming people, and ending up in a relationship with an abuser is never your fault. Some abusers would pass the No Test with flying colors!

But if a partner fails this test? It’s a bright red flag that they’re a dangerous person, and you should trust your instinct.

As Rob said: “The only person who can stop the abuse is the person who is doing the abusing.”

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Vintage Question Cards from the NY Public Library

Librarians are the keepers of knowledge. They hold the keys to a treasure trove of tomes containing the wisdom of the ages. They also deal with the public every day, so you know they see their fair share of crazies.

People have asked librarians all sorts of questions over the years, including these ones received by NY librarians from the 1940s-1980s prove without a doubt.

#1. The “public eye,” as it was then…

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#2. Fair question, though perhaps an ill-advised plan.

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#3. That’s one busy day.

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#4. I’m guessing somewhere in Wilmington.

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#5. Intrigue…

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#6. Didn’t Adam eat the apple? Is this a trick question?

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#7. Girl, go.

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#8. Um…I’d really like to know how this was answered.

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#9. This is a romance novel waiting to happen.

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#10. Ew.

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You know those librarians answered each and every one of those questions. Because they’re awesome, and also hilarious.

Seriously. Go hug your librarian friend today…and then buy them a beer and listen to their stories. Everyone wins.

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Does Having Children Before Marriage Raise Your Risk for Divorce?

Divorce is pretty common these days but it was actually less common as recently as just a few decades ago.

That said, many people find the idea of committing to a child easier than committing to another full-grown adult, and are choosing a partner for parenting before they go all-in with a wedding.

The good news? If you do decide, after having kids, to pull the trigger on an ‘I do,” your odds for ending up divorced are no better (or worse) than if you married before getting pregnant.

Image Credit: Pixabay

While divorce rates are on a decline, it’s important to point out that the number of people getting married in the first place is also 25-30% lower than it was during the boomer generation. Fewer people (and couples) are having children at all, as well, and for the first time ever there are more unmarried than married women under thirty giving birth.

Kelly Musick from Cornell University was the study‘s coauthor, and she told Live Science that she and her team analyzed data from the CDC to compare families who had babies between 1985-1995 and those who had babies between 1997-2010. The result?

Since 1997, couples who had children first were likely to get married eventually, and no more likely to get divorced than people who married before having kids.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Why? The study says there is more than one factor at play.

“They’ve got marriage on the back of their minds, but wait to take that step until they feel they’ve met these pretty high standards. The increasing stability of relationships involving cohabitation and the declining importance of marriage timing relative to parenthood is consistent with waning social pressure to marry and the blurring of boundaries between marriage and cohabitation.”

The study did not compare planned pregnancies to unplanned ones, which could make a difference since unexpected surprises can be a huge challenge for couples to navigate. Unexpected pregnancies can make couples feel more pressure to commit to each other even if they have a sense that it won’t work.

Sexologist and author Nikki Goldstein told Fatherly “…there might not have been a long term commitment made before the baby is born, for some there might be questions. Like if they did not have a child together would they have stayed together.”

Issues like that can breed resentment, but in couples who are already living together and plan to bring a baby into the mix, it’s not a consideration.

Image Credit: Pixabay

So, as long as your pregnancies are planned, you don’t have to say “I do” before little ones come along.

But don’t think that means you don’t have to work on your marriage and make it a priority when you can – kids or not, married first or not, the chance for divorce is always lurking.

I’ll leave you on that happy note!

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10+ People Share the Dark Secret a Loved One Took to Their Grave

You’ve probably heard that joke about how “If I die, my bestie needs to delete my hard drive” or “grab the box under my bed and burn it.” Basically, it’s just a way to avoid having embarrassing details about you come to light after you’re gone. But what if you never made that pact with someone?

These 15 people know a little bit about that, because they discovered some doozies after saying goodbye to family and friends.

#1. He had his demons.

“My grandfather was apparently very abusive to my grandma and my dad when he was growing up.

He was also a heavy alcoholic at the time, and I think that played a large role in it. At some point, he stopped drinking all together and that that apparently helped things a lot and their family life stabilized.

It’s just weird because I only ever knew him as a sweet frail old man who wouldn’t even curse in front of me. But he had his demons and likely caused a lot of emotional damage to my father and grandmother.”

#2. A donor-father.

“My boss at my first job was a donor-father to a lesbian couple that he was friends with.

He was older when he got married. Reading through the lines of conversations over the 8 years I knew him, I learned that he and his wife tried to have kids together but it never worked out for them.

A few months after retirement, he was diagnosed with cancer, and passed away less than a year later.

When his obituary was published, it mentioned a daughter, and again it was mentioned at the funeral. He had only mentioned this to a few people, despite maintaining a relationship with the daughter for 10 years, travelling to see her on a regular basis.”

#3. Why did he lie for so long?

“I guess it’s not that dark, but apparently my grandfather’s middle name was secretly Ralph.

He was 80 years old when he died. He lived with us for years and years and years. All that time he told us very emphatically that he didn’t have a middle name, and as far as we all knew, he never used one for anything. I assume my grandmother must have known, since she did all their legal paperwork, but she died before anyone else found out and she took his secret to her grave too. Even my parents only learned that he had lied about it when they went to execute his will and saw a middle name printed on his death certificate, then found it on a bunch of his other papers.

It was just a really bizarre revelation. Nobody still alive has any idea why he lied to everyone for so long about it. Maybe not a dark secret per se, but he certainly acted as if it was.”

#4. At family dinner.

“My grandpa gave my grandma crabs when he cheated on her with his future wife. For some reason my grandma brought it up at a family dinner. Out of no where.”

#5. 3 families.

“my grandfathers other family.

my grandfather was a sailor (cook) in the Canadian navy. while in port down in the Caribbean he and a friend went around the island exploring both the island and the local women.

well a few years before he died he showed me a picture of him, a kid and a women while he was in uniform, it was ONE of the kids that was his.

when he died I got his big trunk of military stuff and in a wallet in the bottom was another picture, with 2 more kids and him with a women.

my grandfather had 3 families my mother doesnt know about.”

#6. A really difficult time.

“My mom passed suddenly this February and my aunt couldn’t wait to tell me about the abortion my mom had when she was 14. She spared no detail. I could have gone the rest of my life without knowing that. It put some distance between me and my grandparents during a really difficult time when we should have been supporting each other.”

#7. No one knew.

“She had full blown AIDS. She was always very thin because of another medical condition, but no one knew she was HIV positive, let alone dying of AIDS.”

#8. Secretly a Klan member.

“My girlfriend’s great grandfather was a sweet old man that died when she was a very little girl. After he died, the family was going through his things, and found his diary. Turns out that he was secretly a Klan member.”

#9. Gangsters and guns.

“For much of my childhood, my mom helped out an older lady named Mary with groceries, doctor’s appointments, etc. It began as a charity effort through her church aerobics group (90s), but the rest of the group lost interest, and my mom kept it up for many more years. Mary’s family was a mess, poor all around with various members either strung out or in various states of dysfunction. Her great-granddaughter actually lived with us for a while, and my mom did something with, or for, Mary probably 3-4 times a week.

When Mary eventually died a few years ago, my mother went to her funeral and met Mary’s sister for the first time, and got to talking. My mom knew that Mary had been married and widowed twice. What she didn’t know is that Mary’s first husband was a gangster, and that he died when Mary took his gun and shot him in the head. She managed to get herself committed on mental grounds rather than incarcerated, and met her second husband at the mental facility.

EDIT- A few add-ons. Although it was not explicit in the story as I heard it, there was an implication that the first marriage was abusive, not a stretch to imagine for a Baltimore mobster in the 40s. According to the sister, one day husband #1 was getting picked up by his friends to go do mobster things, and left his holster and pistol inside. He told Mary to go get it, and she did, then shot him with it in broad daylight outside their house. Apparently she was always a talented actor/manipulator (which rings true), and put on a good show at the trial, hence the very light consequence.”

#10. Not so dark.

“Not so dark but as we were cleaning out my grandfather’s car after he passed we found a huge tub of cheese puffs (something he wasn’t allowed to have because of his strict diet) in the trunk.”

#11. My poor dad.

“I have two.

My grandfather was a bastardized his entire life. Abusive and cruel. The family lived in poverty,very hand to mouth and scraped for every thing they had, which was not much.

On his deathbed he told my grandmother that he had been hoarding money his entire life. He saved a couple of million. Grandma took herself on a trip around the world and then gave the rest of the money to a zoo. Gave none to her children.

Grandfather and grandmother had fourth child, who was born with disabilities. Grandfather declared he would not have made a child with disabilities, therefore the child was a product of an affair. He allowed the child (whose life expectancy was a few years) to come home, but demanded his wife ignore the child. My dad and his siblings (who were still young children themselves) provided all the care, until the child died in toddlerhood.

My poor dad. Between his home and Vietnam he was so messed up. He couldn’t rise to the challenge of sticking around and parenting, but damn after all he experienced I give him credit for never laying a hand on us, trying his best and then leaving when he knew he just couldn’t.”

#12. Did not get the tattoo.

“My dad committed suicide when I was 11. He had longstanding issues with all kinds of drugs, and I always had a soft spot for him because 1. he was my dad and 2. I felt like my family just hated him bc he did drugs, even though he wasn’t that bad of a guy. I was strongly considering getting a tattoo to memorialise him when I turned 18.

When I was 17 I found out that he used to beat and rape my mom on a regular basis. She said he would literally corner her when she came out of the shower and force her to have sex. He was also physically abusive toward my brother (we have different dads). Also, also, while my mom was pregnant with me (actually on her due date), he pushed her down our basement steps, which are the most jagged, stiff, wooden steps leading to our concrete basement.

Did not get that tattoo…”

#13. He never took his hat off in public.

“Our farm caretaker always wore a ballcap… always, for a 40 yr+ history He died from a tumor on his scalp that had eaten into his skull. He never took his hat off in public, none of us had any idea.”

#14. Fascinating stuff.

“I volunteer at a research library as an amateur genealogist, so I have so, so many. I find all the skeletons in the closet. My personal favorite is a woman who wanted to find out about her great aunt– she’d been told her aunt ran away from home at sixteen and was never seen by the family again.

Turns out the aunt actually was jailed for stealing a bunch of money from her brother. While in jail it came out that she was secretly married to a guy who was wanted as part of a ring of thieves stealing silver cutlery from fancy hotels. That was her third marriage and she was 20 and Catholic, so her family cut her off. She eventually moved across the state and remarried twice more before eventually getting hitched to a farmer. They were married 18 years when she died. Oh, and the great uncle my client had been told died of the flu? Was murdered on his front porch in a fight over a beer bottle.

Also: sooooo many people had two families. Tons of secret adoptions. Lots of moving around for less than savory reasons. Genealogy is fascinating stuff.

So I guess I mostly deal in things that weren’t secrets at the time but are now.”

#15. Actually.

“My grandfather always told me growing up that his sister died after being struck by lightning. He always had great, vivid, not always child-friendly but definitely colorful stories, and i thought nothing of it.”

Fast forward ten years, I’m talking to my dad about it after doing some digging through old photos. I told him what his father had told me about his aunt, and commented on how sad it was. After five minutes of laughing so hard he couldn’t catch a breath, he told me that she had actually blown herself up in a meth-cooking accident.”

Make the pact with your besties today, y’all. You’ll feel better.

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So… Apparently, If You Hold In a Fart, It Might Leak out Your Mouth

Well, this is extremely disturbing. Apparently, the old saying “better out than in” definitely applies to farts.

Clare Collins, a nutrition and dietetics professor at the University of Newcastle found that pent-up gas can actually pass through your gut wall, eventually re-absorbing into your bloodstream where it then circulates through your body.

If that happens, the gas has nowhere to escape except…yup, you guessed it – your mouth.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

“A build up of intestinal gas can trigger abdominal distension, with some gas reabsorbed into the circulation and exhaled in your breath,” she writes on The Conversation.

A 2010 paper on “Methane and the Gastrointestinal Tract” supports Collins’ comments about farts making their way elsewhere if you hold them in, stating that methane, hydrogen sulfide, and other gases that are produced in the body are mostly eliminated via the anus, but can also be “expelled from the lungs.”

But there’s so much more we can learn from these scientists who study flatulence as part of their profession! In one study, 10 volunteers ate a half a can of baked beans in addition to their regular diet, then signed up for rectal catheters that measured their expelled gas for the following 24-hour period.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

No word on where they find the people for these studies or what they offer them in return, but it’s got to be something good, right?

The outcomes showed that the average number of gaseous episodes per 24-hour period was 8 with no difference between men and women.

A second study showed that high-fiber diets led to fewer but bigger farts, while a third found that diets containing foods that broke down into sulfur were behind the smelliest sort of gas.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

I can only hope the people judging this horrifying contest of toots made it out of the room without passing out on the floor.

In conclusion, science says go ahead and let those farts out because holding them in can lead to excess belching, more gas, bloating, and intestinal pain. It can even, in some severe cases, lead to diverticulitis. Plus, you know, some gas may come out your mouth.

And nobody wants that.

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15 People Reveal the Worst Places They’ve Ever Been To

Have you ever been to a city that was absolutely terrible? Like, the kinda place that you just hated and considered yourself truly unfortunate to have visited?

While I’ve never really been anywhere I truly despised in that way, these AskReddit users apparently have.

Share your thoughts in the comments.

#1. Sounds awful

“Baker, California

If you’ve ever driven between Vegas and Southern California, you know what I’m talking about. It’s constantly the hottest place in the summer. Literally 10 degrees hotter than 5 miles down the road. The gas prices are insane. They have an alien themed jerky and hot sauce store (which is pretty awesome). And they have the worlds tallest thermometer because that town is the butthole of the country.”

 

And when I returned half a day later to pick it up, the lady at the reception said “we found it and put it in a safe.” Everything was still there.

(Note: this was 20 years ago. Things may be different today).”

#2. I’ve heard this from numerous people

“Niagara Falls (US side) was depressing as sh*t. We went with low expectations, because we were only going there for a punk show and figured we’d stay in the tourist district and see the sights, and still left feeling disappointed.

The falls were cool, but the few blocks surrounding it are full of sh*tty, crowded tourist traps, and if you leave that small area you are immediately surrounded by extreme poverty and sketchy neighborhoods.

A local told us that pretty much all of the money made in the area gets sent back to NYC because that’s where the companies who own the casinos and business are located, so nothing really ends up going back into the local economy. A lot of bullsh*t. Show was good, though.”

#3. Not normal

“Grew up in Johannesburg, South Africa. It’s entirely unmaintained, and has a very unique style of absolute apathetic violence against innocent people. I moved to New Zealand and years later realized that hearing screams that ended in the sound of a gunshot wasn’t a normal thing to go to sleep to during the night.”

#4. UK

“Blackpool.

Its talked up as a great seaside destination with a world famous pier. Its awful, dingy, grey and signficantky worse than Scarborough and Bournemouth.”

#5. A British entry

“Slough. Full of grey buildings, endless industrial estates, half-assed ‘modern’ architecture and mobile phone accessory shops. And it’s surprisingly expensive to live there. However, it produced my mom who is the nicest person ever.”

#6. Ugh

“Dubai. A monument to excess and unhealthy consumerism built on slave labour. Once your awe of the magnificent buildings fade it feels like a soulless tourist trap with a sinister undertone. Everything just feels off. I think it’s an abomination of a city.”

#7. Not a good place

“East Saint Louis, Illinois. It would have to improve to be a ghetto. Broke ass buildings, broke ass roads and broke ass people. Don’t even slow down on your way through.”

#8. The Philippines

“Angeles in the Philippines.

It’s the home of a former US Air Force base, but that base got destroyed by the Pinatubo volcano.

Angeles became the town where aging and fat former US military personnel goes on vacation to relive the heydays of their youth. One where you’d rent one or more women for the night for next to nothing. One where you walk into a bar and see those men feed shots to young girls, followed by empty laughter because they really don’t have a lot to say each other: they’re all just passing time until they go to their seedy bedrooms with the girl for the night and their one shot.

The city has nothing else going for it, no industry or anything. Their life blood was cut off when the base closed and they had to make do with sex work.

We were passing through while visiting the destruction of the volcano and stayed for 2 nights.

And here’s the thing: I forgot my pouch with money, credit cards, passport in that seedy hotel with mirrors on the ceiling when I left for the next city, 4 hours north.

#9. Rough city

“Camden, NJ – where I found my car sitting on blocks with its wheels removed.

Our friends sold their Camden home at a huge loss just to get away from what they called “a nightmarish place to live.”

#10. Don’t go out alone

“Fayetteville, North Carolina. Never go there alone or at night. Most of the shops cater to the tastes of young men, because of the military base.”

#11. Middle East

“Baghdad.

Food wasn’t that great. Traffic. Roadside bombs. Air quality wasn’t great.

For a city I’ve been to not at a time of war, Cairo was one of the most disappointing and disgusting experiences I have ever had in my life. Everything is a tourist scam.”

#12. Not a fan

“Its a tie between Kayenta, AZ and Cuba, NM. If you get out of your car, you will be swarmed by feral or abandoned dogs and drunk locals asking for gas money. Very tough to avoid colliding with drunk drivers or adopting a dog when driving through.”

#13. Camden again

“Easily Camden, New Jersey. I only went there to see a show at the venue there, but driving to the venue looked like I was in a third world country. I also took a wrong turn when walking from the show to my car, and it got sketchy really quick. Camden is such a sh*t hole!”

#14. What a nice place!

“Paisley Scotland.

Watched a bunch of kids get their ass kicked for gang beat ins, then bought Chinese food from some guy who tied a tshirt around his hand to stop the blood.”

#15. Haiti

“Port au Prince, Haiti

The place makes the infrastructure of Gary, Indiana look state of the art.

I haven’t been back in 20 years, but it began with leaving the airport. You go through the exit doors to be completely mobbed by people. I can’t tell if they are trying to carry your luggage for money or just outright steal it.

The one time we flew in after dark….holy shit getting a rental car was an adventure. Evidently they keep the rental cars off the airport property at night. We got driven to this steel walled compound to get our rental car. The doors open and men with rifles come out to cover our entry. They had this makeshift bunker type of thing they jump into.

Driving? The roads have potholes you could bury a body and the car that the body was driving in. We used to rent a 4×4 SUV just to drive on the public roads. Power lines down everywhere, no road signs…..just hire someone to drive you.

Police and customs? Corrupt beyond belief.

Poverty? The worst I have ever seen. The tin huts in the shanty towns were about the size of my walk-in closet back in the states. I always recall my driver telling me about the locals eating dirt. There was good dirt to eat and bad dirt to eat. I have no idea WTF made dirt good or bad to eat (I guess they would mix it with some type of fat and make like a pancake or cookie out of it). The water in those shanty towns? It was a common well that looked like a mud puddle where a 3 year old just spent the last 20 minutes tap dancing in it.

The people were wonderful for the most part. There were some really bad parts of town, but for the most part people were good to us.”

Idk about you, but I definitely just made a few mental notes…

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10+ Hotel Hacks to Remember on Your Next Trip out of Town

I love to travel, but I have to admit there are definitely parts of that I kind of dread. From less-than-stellar hotel sites to long plane rides, there’s a lot that can mess your day up.

While there isn’t a fix for all of those woes, we do have some pretty handy tips about getting the most out of your hotel stay. Read on!

#1. Those hospital corners are good for something after all.

Image Credit: Reddit

I might even start using them at home.

#2. Sneaky…

Image Credit: Reddit

As long as someone doesn’t pilfer your Chapstick. Or you don’t lose it (I’m always losing it).

#3. They may not give you a fridge, but they give you a bucket.

Image Credit: Reddit

And free ice.

#4. This is a game-changer for international travel.

Image Credit: Reddit

One adapter plus a power strip instead of half a dozen adapters? Yes!

#5. Blackout curtains in a flash.

Image Credit: Reddit

Because hotels should be good for sleeping in, if nothing else.

#6. Another phone hack!

Image Credit: Reddit

And this one keeps the germs off in the process.

#7. Instead of buying those expensive little travel containers that break, use something you probably already have…

Image Credit: Reddit

An old contact lens case.

#8. This hack has saved a suitcase full of clean clothes more than once.

Image Credit: Reddit

Seriously, it’s worth the time.

#9. When you just can’t be bothered to hold your phone.

Image Credit: Reddit

And you’re too cheap to pay for a flight with television.

#10. Need more counter space?

Image Credit: Reddit

There’s a hack for that!

#11. No bottle opener? No problem!

Image Credit: Reddit

Your door might be able to do double duty.

#12. Never leave your phone charger behind again.

Image Credit: Reddit

Just attached your car keys to it and problem solved.

Happy travels!

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New Survey Reveals Most People Are More Affection to Their Dogs Than to Their Humans

This isn’t really surprising, especially to dog owners. We humans are getting absolutely obsessed with our furbabies.

A recent survey on Rover.com found that, a lot of folks are far more affectionate and loving (in certain ways) towards their dogs than they are towards their own partners and spouses. According to te survey, nearly half of pet owners revealed they had plans to celebrate this past Valentine’s day with their pet.

Image Credit: Pixabay

Rover surveyed 1450 U.S. adults who are dating or in a relationship and found that 67% confess to gazing lovingly into their pet’s eyes and 33% do this more often with their dog than their spouse or significant other. 25% of dog owners take more pictures with their dog than the humans in their life, 25% spend more money on their dog than their partner, and 50% cuddle with their dog more often than the person they’re dating.

Not only that, but 41% of pet owners claim that they wouldn’t consider dating someone who didn’t get along with their pets and 53% would break up with a current partner if they were allergic to their beloved pets.

Image Credit: Pixabay

It’s not all one-sided, though. Phil Tedeschi, a University of Denver researcher and member of Rover’s Dog People Panel, says that our pooches experience and express empathy when they know we’re in distress.

Which is more than we can say for all significant others out there…

Check out the fun infographics below for more interesting stats on how pet owners treat their cuddle buddies as opposed to the humans they claim to love!

Image Credit: Rover.com

I mean. My dog was my first baby, so I get it. I’m sure you do, too.

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People Share Stories of Times They Got the Help They Needed, and We Can All Learn from Them

While the narrative of the “self-made man” is one that’s been pushed a lot over the last few decades, the fact of the matter is that everyone needs a helping hand now and then. Even the world’s most powerful CEO is helpless if his sports car breaks down on a remote country road. There’s no shame in it, and it’s important that we give people the help they need when they need it, because you never know how much it might mean to the person you’re helping.

These 10 Twitter users shared their personal stories about when they were in dire straits and received a helping hand that they haven’t ever forgotten about.

1. “It is never wrong to help someone.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

2. It gets better.

Photo Credit: Twitter

3. Everyone deserves a chance. 

Photo Credit: Twitter

4. A little goes a long way…

Photo Credit: Twitter

5. “…more than many will ever know.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

6. “Quite well” ain’t too shabby.

Photo Credit: Twitter

7. Teach your children well.

Photo Credit: Twitter

8. “You can’t teach a hungry child.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

9. Pay it back x 100.

Photo Credit: Twitter

10. Hard work.

Photo Credit: Twitter

This is why it is important to never assume anything about anyone, because you never really know where they’ve been and what they are going through unless you’ve walked in their shoes. And if you know someone is in need, help them out in any way you can. Paying it forward is real.

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Here’s Why Young People Prefer Saying “No Problem” Instead of “You’re Welcome”

Millennials take a lot of heat from older people for the way they do things. In many cases, it stems from the older generation wanting the younger one to do things their way. But things change, and it’s not always bad – like how the youth respond to “thank you”.

Professor Tom Nichols branded himself the quintessential grumpy old man back in 2015 when he tweeted this angry response to what he perceived as a rash of poor customer service.

Image Credit: Twitter

“Dear Every Cashier in America: the proper response to ‘thank you’ is ‘you’re welcome,’ not ‘no problem.’ And *you’re* suppose to thank *me*”

He received a number of responses, the vast majority mocking his attitude, but it one person’s detailed and thoughtful reply makes a lot of sense.

Bottom line? It’s not about being polite, it’s that our views on gratitude are evolving.

Image Credit: Imgur

“Actually, the “you’re welcome/no problem” issue is simply a linguistics misunderstanding. Older ppl tend to say “you’re welcome,” younger ppl tend to say “no problem.” This is because for older people the act of helping or assisting someone is seen as a task that is not expected of them, but is them doing extra, so it’s them saying, ‘I accept your thanks because I know I deserve it.”

“No problem, however, is used because younger people feel not only that helping or assisting someone is a given and expected but also that it should be stressed that your need for help was no burden to them (even if it was).”

Image Credit: Pixabay

“Basically, older people think help is a gift you give, younger people think help is a requirement.”

The explanation, of course, doesn’t apply across the board. There are people in every generation that view service as “no problem” and people who feel like they are doing others a favor, but the idea that “no problem” is somehow disrespectful just isn’t right.

The people who use it are, quite genuinely, sharing that helping you out is “no problem.”

Image Credit: Pixabay

Maybe, if we realized that doing the right thing – simple or not so much – is actually “no problem” we’d have fewer problems in general.

I mean, maybe not, but it’s worth a shot.

The post Here’s Why Young People Prefer Saying “No Problem” Instead of “You’re Welcome” appeared first on UberFacts.