Category: life

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People Break Down The Most Overrated Films Of All Time

We love movies and it’s that time of year again—the time when movies are extra special.

It’s awards season!

The one thing that’s always examined in awards season, is seasons past.

Everyone loves to discuss the movies that failed to live up to the hype.

Redditor hootyowlscissors wanted to discuss all movies where the hype just didn’t add up.

They asked:

“What is the most massively overrated film of all time and why?”

Reddit was quick to respond…

Reese couldn’t make it work…

“Water for elephants. The book was really good but the movie barely told the story.”  ~ Icy_Gap6980

“I LOVE Reese Witherspoon but I find she often doesn’t have chemistry with men in her movies.”

“She plays characters where it works anyways, but I can’t think of anything where she really amazing chemistry with a costar.” ~ ingenfara

“I loved the movie, but heard that people who read the book (which I still haven’t) wouldn’t have liked it.”

“The same thing was true about ‘The Firm.’”

“I had read the book and saw it in the theater with a friend who hadn’t.”

“She thought it was one of the best movies she’d ever seen, and I said ‘That’s not in the book!’”

“So many times, the man in front of me turned around and told me to shut up.”  ~ notthesedays

The Oscar Upset!!

“Shakespeare in Love. And it beat Saving Private Ryan for best picture FFS…”  ~ Millerzeit

“I used to think the same but the real winner should have been life is beautiful.”

“Saving Private Ryan is a masterpiece but life is beautiful is cinema perfection.”

The character is amazing and the things he did for his son.”

“Ugh i cry every time i see it because through all that nonsense his son never got to see the brutality of it and he got his tank.” ~ crazymo121

“Yes Shakespeare in love was operated.”

“But for comedy I think it good.”

“Geoffrey Rush’s role he played was just great.”

“I think if some one besides Gweneth was cast, it might have been much better.”

“Could not stand Saving Private Ryan, but one of my husband’s favorites.”  ~ happyhappy2986

press stop…

“Crash. Pure pandering, shi**y script, one-dimensional characters, the whole shebang that should not have even been nominated for crap.”  ~freebird12g

The Blue People…

“HOLY S**T NO ONE STILL LIKES AVATAR STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!”

“Now it’s overHATED.”  ~ devilthedankdawg

“Seriously, it’s an ok movie.”

“It has good but not crazy good reviews, and that’s totally fair.”

“But Saying it’s ferngully/Pocahontas/Dances with Wolves doesn’t make you smart, you are just repeating the same thing said by every person ever.”

“It just got an insane amount of money because of the spectacle of it and how much word of mouth it had to.”

“And, yeah, to give credit to Avatar, it looks FANTASTIC. It still looks a lot better than a lot of CGI today!”  ~ Lucienofthelight

But it has Sandra…

“Bird box.”  ~ Loooooooooppp

“The book was very good in my opinion.”

“I watched the movie and it made me so mad. Horrible movie.” ~ FrenchMushr00m

“This movie always annoyed me, the ending was so convenient and there was no catharsis or lessons learned, as well the monsters ability was never shown.”

“I thought the movie would have been much better it had ended with her after accepting responsibility and love for the adopted child and taking the boat down the rapids.”

“She would elect not to wear a mask to protect the children.”

“She would inadvertently see a monster and then ‘witness’ her child and adopted child die in the rapids, and she is so ridden with grief she kills herself.”

“The children would not actually have died and they would find the sanctuary.”

“I feel like that would have given the movie a meaning and an edge that was missing.” ~ OHFUGGYEAHBUDS

Poor Arnold…

“I digress, the most underrated film of all time is Conan the Barbarian circa 1981.”  ~ FinancialArtichoke75

“I liked that film but got mocked by my classmates for having it on DVD, so I lied, and I said it was a porno and the label read Conan as a diversion.”

“And then I didn’t get mocked.”

“Anyway, what I really came to say was that the question was about overrated films, and you replied about underrated films.”  ~ Kriskao

Nonsense…

“I have two:”

“The Purge movies.”

“Not only is the premise mind numbingly illogical with so so many ramifications, but I find it really hard to believe that the entire country would go on killing sprees instead of stealing s**t and doing drugs.”

“Paranormal Activity. Oh no, the chair suddenly moved after a half hour of nothing else happening!”  ~ Yuiopy78

“It was a way to ‘stir up the hornets nest’ if that makes sense.”

“They wanted to justify the first purge so they could repeat it annually.”

“They wouldn’t have been able to do so if crime was low on that specific night so they used mercs instigate some violence.”

“The ‘concept’ of the purge is that overall it would decrease crime and homelessness since everyone would be releasing their anger on purge night and ultimately targeting homeless people.”

“Great movie concept, illogical as f**k though.”

“Later in the series we find out the purge does nothing towards crime and poverty and I just an excuse for rich people to go bats**t crazy.”  ~ inframeWS

“Let it Go… Let it Go…”

“Frozen. I liked the idea of two female leads for a Disney Princess movie, but I feel the execution was off the mark.”

“The Hans twist was predictable and the way Elsa freezes Anna’s heart to trigger an ‘impending death’ was just stupid.”

“Olaf was also annoying and I did not find his love of Summer endearing.” ~ TelemachusTheYoung

Not THAT movie!

“The English Patient. I almost got thrown out of the theater at one point for screaming ‘just f**king die already!’”  ~ 12altoids34

“I used to ask people what movie they hated that everyone else seems to love.”

“It was one of my favorite questions to get to know someone.”

“I eventually had to modify it to say ‘what movie do you hate that everyone you know loves, but it can’t be The English Patient’ because literally everyone hated it.”  ~ crankyweasels

Lost in Space…

“Gravity. Everyone raved on it and how amazing it was.”

“I once described the entire film to someone in 10 seconds.”  ~ sfkf8486

“If you watched it in theatres, it was amazing.”

“If you watched it at home it sucked.”

“Everything amazing about it was atmosphere and immersion.”  ~ Ardentpause

In the end art is subjective.

There are a few movies on this list I really liked.

Except for The English Patient.

When I think about the six hours I wasted… sorry three hours, it just felt like six.

Anybody feel the need to add to the list?

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Married Couples Confess How Often They Actually Have Sex With Their Partner

Relationships come in all shapes and sizes and, of course, with all different types of sex drives.

ACES exist and can be happily married, after all.

Married couples got together on Reddit to share how often they actually had sex with their partners. Some even shared how long they had been together or how happy they were as a couple.

Some of the responses were really telling, and others were absolutely surprising.

Redditor David-Davis1 asked:

“Married couples, how frequently do you have sex with your partner?”

Some were familiar with dead bedrooms.

“What is this ‘sex’ thing you speak of?” – ThinkingGoldfish

“When she feels like it. So. Once every few months.”

“And before I get the ‘but don’t you talk to her about it,’ yeah, we’re 22 years in, and we’ve had all the f**king discussions, conversations, etc. it’s when she wants. I’m tired of being rejected.” – wormholeweapons

“Same here, and it sucks – married 22 years, and it’s been nearly four years since she felt like it.” – PacmanTurnerOvadrive

“Used to have a very healthy sex life. Currently, have a 12-week-old child. We occasionally refer to him as ‘our cute c**kblock.’ So yes, at the minute, almost never.” – haveyouseenmywetsuit

“23 years. Used to be 2-3 per week. Haven’t touched each other in 3 years though. Not sure we’ll make 25.” – kurt_go_bang

Others were more familiar with the events that killed the bedroom magic.

“Is she carrying the larger share of the emotional load for both of your lives? Does she do all the organization and administration for your home, kids, vacations, holidays, etc?”

“Because if she does, then I expect she’s tired and doesn’t feel close to you or loved by you. Love is a verb, what are you doing to love her?”

“And by that, I don’t mean instigating sex. Sex comes because everything else is in balance. You should both be the same amount of tired at bedtime, you’re a team.” – fairiestoldmeto

“It’s the mental load. My husband does stuff but it’s me who organizes it. For example, cooking is the easy part. Someone has to decide what to have for meals, do the shopping, etc. And that’s me.”

“We both work full-time but because I am available at times to get kids to school and run them to sports etc., I have to fit it all in. It’s f**king exhausting and I’m not interested in sex at all because I have no time to myself.” – tinkleberry2

“There’s also the social labor! Birthdays, holidays, events, picking out what someone will wear, buying gifts, organizing travel, etc.” – JillianWho

“My wife has a number of mental health issues and the meds have basically turned her off of sex altogether. It’s rough but I guess the alternative is she goes off meds and commits s**cide, so I will just deal with the no sex.” – ThickumsMagoo

“My wife had a low sex drive when she was breastfeeding each of our kids. She’s still breastfeeding the second but going to stop soon… I broke my back 3 years ago and was on some medications.. my sex drive was low… it can be a vicious cycle.”

“Women tend to want to have sex when there is a lot of help, support, non-sexual affection… Men sometimes only feel loved when there is physical affection.. it can get out of control when both partners are building their respective control wall.” – ggs_golf

“This needs to be something more men/people understand. You can’t expect sex just because you are married. It’s HIGHLY unattractive to have a SO (significant other) that puts in the bare minimum when it comes to kids and house chores.”

“I work full-time also but still do the majority of the house/baby work. We have sex when I want it and that’s pretty much it. If you don’t put forth effort, don’t expect your SO to want to have sex all the time.” – T00tSw33t090

But some responses were promising.

“12 years of marriage and 17 total years together. We usually have sex about 2-3 times a week.” – TheRaistLine

“If we are busy with work, then it’s once every other week. When we’re on holiday, off work or have a low work period. 2-3 times a week.” – laugh_if_you_agree

“I don’t have kids but I found that once I went from living apart to living together, the sex increased a bit simply because we only had really been seeing each other once a week or so.”

“When we moved in together, suddenly it was like, ‘”ow, it’s 5:30 on a Tuesday afternoon and I can just have sex? Let’s do it!’” – lupuscapabillus

“Find the right woman, and marriage is wonderful. The ‘spark’ turns into a full-on bonfire some days and those days are really great.”

“I don’t think the spark leaves, I just think people stop trying or stop caring about the marriage, which leads to sex becoming a weapon or a reward or something. Marriages take work. You realize it’s no longer the goal to ‘get married,’ you know?”

“It’s just the start of a new way to do things, but you definitely have to keep the fire lit and if you do a good job, you can keep a nice little fire going all the time that at any moment you or your spouse can just add a bit of fuel to the fire and off you go.” – betterthanamaster

“I’m excited to get married. It’s a mixed bag. Some marriages are so filled with love.” – jesse-james-

Others were less frequent but still acceptable.

“Twice a week (Wednesdays and Saturday or Sunday).”

“0 points for spontaneity.”

“10 points for consistency” – steelingjackalope317

“For parents, you’ll get into the golden period, though, with kids where they take these long naps in the middle of the day and then sleep through the night, usually around 12 months to 24 months.”

“Some days it’ll be rough because babies can be handsy and make mom or dad just feel over-touched, but more often, you get the kid down and unless you have to be somewhere or do something, you’ll jump each other.”

“And that sex is great sex because you both know it could end at any time. Kind of like a feeling of, ‘Ooh, we shouldn’t be doing this. What if someone (the baby) catches us?’ It’s fun.” – betterthanamaster

“We have a tween and busy schedules – I just never want our child to hear… so probably 2-5x a month… if we have time to ourselves or if the kid is away, it’s daily, lol (laughing out loud)… but it’s still amazing, and crave each other. Just complicated with kiddos and life.” – No_Interaction7679

“Together 13 years, married 5. Sometimes twice a day, sometimes twice a month. Sometimes life gets in the way, sometimes we can’t get enough of each other.” – NotMeBuyMyCat

“Been living together for 4 years, married for 2. Usually 3-5 times a week, depending on how we’re feeling. There’s some fluctuation based on hormones and overall wellness, and some based on time of year, but very seldom less than 3 times a week.”

“We have a good time. We’ve been working from home together since the pandemic, and we have significantly more sex just due to proximity. Honestly, the pandemic has been a net positive for our relationship, weirdly enough.” – Cadwaladur

These responses were incredibly eye-opening about relationships, including the fact marriage, length of the relationship, or even the amount of sex, do not guarantee happiness.

Rather, it’s about the couple and that each person’s needs are being met.

Whether that means getting together twice a week or twice a year, that’s up to them.

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People Describe The Best ‘Poverty Meals’ From Childhood They Still Love To This Day

Childhood poverty is no joke.

But there are certain aspects of growing up poor that people actually enjoy that upper and middle class kids usually don’t experience.

One of those is the so-called “poverty meal”—a go to quick meal for when you’re really broke made from inexpensive pantry staples like macaroni, rice, potatoes and canned goods.

The dubiously named Redditor laced-with-arsenic asked:

“What’s your favorite poverty meal that you still eat regardless of where you are financially?”

Steak Fingers

“Grew up poor, but my mom sure knew how to stretch a dollar. She would make steak fingers out of the cheapest meat cuts she could find.”

“Tenderize, fry them up make gravy out of the drippings and serve with mashed potatoes. The whole meal probably cost less than 5 bucks in 70s dollars, and I’m telling you nothing tasted better.”

“I made it for my kids when they were growing up and they still ask me for it sometimes. She would be 94 today.”

“Love you, miss you mom.” ~ markarlage

Cereal

“Bowl of cereal.” ~ ApocalypseSpokesman

“My nephew was so excited when he realised that people ate cereal for meals other than breakfast.”

“Didn’t have the heart to tell him.” ~ lilithpingu

“A bag of generic cereal is like 5 or 6 bucks. That’s easily 10-15 meals at least.”

“A gallon of milk where I live is 3 bucks. And that’s good for like 10 bowls of cereal.”

“That comes out to less than a dollar per meal.”

“Add in a banana or toast and you hit at a dollar per meal. Super cheap.” ~ bhfroh

Quesadillas & Chilaquiles

“I’m Mexican. For us, it’s usually quesadillas without meat, rice and black beans as the sides.” ~ Reddit

“For us it’s usually chilaquiles.” ~ mattylou

“Bruh, we can’t even explain to the internet how cheap and tasty chilaquiles are.” ~ SteamFoxx

“Enfrijoladas.” ~ Bob__Kazamakis

“My girlfriend is Mexican and she makes this for us. It’s so wonderful. Homemade everything.” ~ yabaquan643

Sh*t On A Shingle

“Shit on a shingle? Sausage gravy served over toast.” ~ phenomagasm

“SOS! My mom made the gravy from scratch, just flour, butter, milk, and pepper, and used sliced corned beef instead. Mmmmmmm!!” ~ motherfuqueer

“Chipped beef on toast!! My mom was literally the only person I knew who ever made this.” ~ 910ee

“We ate this growing up and we weren’t poor. My mom was very poor growing up.”

“This was comfort food for her. We’d have it once or twice a year in the winter.”

“I still love it and ask her to make it when I visit.” ~ StarryEyes8194

Potatoes

“Boiled potatoes and butter. Don’t care if I am rich or poor that is my go to snack.” ~ dapornaddict

“Aww man this hits hard. Was living alone in London didn’t have much money at all.”

“I’d hit up Aldi get a full chicken for £1.75, a broccoli for 55p, and some potatoes for 55p.”

“I’d make a full roast like a king and still have potatoes to boil and have with butter after. So f’king good.” ~ EnemiesAllAround

“My family does something similar. Put some red skin potatoes, fresh green beans, chicken stock, and seasonings in a pot (or slow cooker) and simmer it for an hour or more.”

“Use a slotted spoon to put some in a bowl, then add a bit of stock and plenty of butter. It’s heaven.” ~ FitChemist432

“Fried eggs with fried potatoes.” ~ MrOtero

“The only meal Romanian dads knew how to cook when mom was away.” ~ Fabulini

“Ukrainian too. My old man can’t cook for sh*t, but I loved every time he made that.” ~ ExtraBitterSpecial

“Same for my Russian dad. I miss his fried potatoes and eggs.” ~ BarefootHippieDesign

“Oven-baked potatoes with salt and margarine.”

“Cheap ingredients found in almost every home and easy to make. Also, the starch in potatoes makes you feel full for pretty long.” ~ trashturmoilavocado

“I’m Irish and that is my go-to.”

“I can cook potatoes 100 ways.”

“I could have made a 5lb bag of potatoes last a week in my university days.” ~ guinnesshappy

Macaroni

“We called it ‘Ghetto Mac’ where you make some pasta and add in whatever you can find in the fridge or cabinets. Cheese, lunch meat, spam, spices, etc…”

“No two meals were ever the same.” ~ RhondaTheHonda

“We always called it poverty pasta.” ~ TehGogglesDoNothing

“We called that white trash casserole.” ~ WonBigMayor

“We always just called it goulash even though it doesn’t resemble traditional goulash at all.” ~ koolaideprived

“Called it goulash. Usually ground beef, stewed tomatoes and a can of vegetables in elbow macaroni but my mom had been known to do hot dogs, ham, sausage or just extra veggies.”

“Goulash is traditionally a soup but this was more of a casserole.” ~ Urithiru

“All this time I didn’t even know it had a name we would just do this to try to make a meal.” ~ JtDeluxe

Dal

“Dal.”

“Aside from tumeric you can buy all the ingredients for less than $2 a pound.” ~ Spam-Monkey

“Oh yeah! Dal is magic. Lentils in general deserve more love.”

“They are SO GOOD FOR YOU, and are delicious. They make a great meat substitute if you’re broke or just want to go meatless.” ~ tomboyfancy

“As an Indian, I see where you’re coming from, but I really never saw it that way before.” ~ RupesSax

“Dal by itself? Nah. But khitchdi? Now you’re talking! My favourite comfort food.” ~ hsihsadna

Squash

“We used to eat (zucchini or yellow neck) squash and eggs growing up. Grew the squash and eggs are cheap enough, or trade with the neighbors.”

“You just cut the squash into thin round and cook in a pan with a little oil until they’re just soft. Scramble the eggs with the squash, add a bunch of pepper, some salt.”

“Sometimes we ate it over noodles or rice.” ~ _Not-A-Monkey-St_

Soup

“Egg drop soup: – 1 quart chicken stock – 1 tbsp soy sauce – 1 tbsp corn starch – 1 inch grated ginger – whisk in 2 eggs – green onions sprinkled.” ~ csaszarcasa

“Soup boiled down with rice to bulk it up.” ~ StanMarsh02

“Dump a can of your favorite condensed ‘cream of’ atop a cup or two of rice. Best damn comfort food when you’re sick.” ~ Stargate525

“My grandma (who grew up during WWII) taught me that you can make soup from almost anything.”

“At least once a week I just throw a bunch of scrap veggies, left over meat, rice and whatever other random bits are left over from the week’s meals into a pot with some stock, boil it all together and bam.” ~ Reddit

PB & Sometimes J

“Peanut butter sandwich.” ~ Thinkpad200

“Nothing beats a good ole-fashioned PB&J, hold the J” ~ rezamwehttam

“My oldest son (about 4) would always say ‘I want a cooked peanut butter and jelly sandwich’, which meant peanut butter and jelly on toast.

“My middle son (about 2) would proceed to say ‘I want the same thing but not cooked and no jelly’.”

“I’d say so a peanut butter sandwich? ‘NO, I WANT A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY NOT COOKED WITH NO JELLY!’” ~ ImNotBettyBoopg

“I had a PB&J recently and felt like a f’king fool! Why did I stop eating these when I became an adult?”

“Society lead me to believe this was the way. It is not!”

“Been having PB&J a couple nights a week since. I refuse to let societies unenlightened views dictate my dinner choices!”

“PB&J is a top tier dish for any occasion.” ~ Iminurcomputer

There are definitely regional and cultural differences. Many enduring comfort foods also qualify as poverty meals.

The recipes remain popular because they’re simple, quick and inexpensive.

What are the poverty meals you still love?

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People Explain Which Items They Would Rescue First If Their House Was On Fire

Few things are as frightening as the prospect of burning to death in a fire. Many people live in fear of something like that happening.

Now suppose you wake up to find that your home is on fire. You’re terrified. What do you do? What do you grab, if anything at all?

Do you just try to get outside as quickly as possible? Or do you happen to have a plan in place?

People shared their stories with us after Redditor T3ermin8or asked the online community:

“If your house was about to burn down, what would you try and save first?”

“I truly had to think about this…”

“I truly had to think about this last night as the Colorado fires were just a few miles away. It was devastating looking around the house and realizing so much in your house doesn’t matter.” ~ BatmanandMe123

“We both went into robot mode…”

“We had to evacuate last night and it was the craziest feeling. Luckily our house is okay. We both went into robot mode just efficiently getting what we need, popping the dogs in the hatchback, and off we went.”

“We were in traffic on 287 when I realized that my wife and I forgot our winter coats, she was wearing slippers, and I’d left my wallet and every important document we have in my office. Glad I remembered the almond milk though…” ~ gregmaddux

“As time went on…”

“Retired Firefighter here. When I was a kid our house burned down. As time went on, it was the family photos we missed the most. I always grabbed photo albums when I saw them. The owners often cried when they realized the photos were saved.” ~ Skyist

“I guess I’m supposed to say…”

“I guess I’m supposed to say my children, but I’ve got a chocolate orange I’ve not started yet. So it’ll be a tough one.” ~ Good-Helicopter-9303

“You don’t have time…”

“This is gonna sound outrageous, but in a fire emergency, this will save your cats’ lives… Put the cat in a pillowcase. Carry them out that way. You don’t have time to get their crates, and you definitely don’t have time to fight with them about going in them.”

“Put the cat in a pillowcase, and you’ll be able to safely and quickly transport them to safety and hold them securely. If you carry them out in your arms, they may jump down and sprint away, or claw at you in fright.”

“But a cat in a pillowcase, no matter how angry and traumatized they might be, is staying in the pillowcase. If it’s a life or death, burning house emergency? Put your cat in your pillowcase.” ~ PotassiumArsenic

“Assuming my family…”

“Assuming my family and dogs are safe and my important documents are in the safe where they belong I have a couple guitars that have sentimental value to me. I’d grab those.” ~ GuntherPonz

“I have a bag of documents…”

“I have a bag of documents that are a pain in the ass to get. Birth certificate, taxes, diplomas. Thats an easy grab, once i have that, i grab my pets, and, if i have time, my box of MTG rares, including my Unlimited Dual Lands, which I’ll offload to offset the costs of recovery.” ~ WanderingGenesis

“In the hallway closet…”

“In the hallway closet there is a box containing all of my family’s photos. I would grab that and get it out as soon as possible. Any photos on the walls are copies.”

“If I had time the next thing would be my home server. It has a s**t load of important files and about 10 TB of movies and TV shows which would help pass time in the hotel or wherever after the fire.”

“I also have a bunch of ammo that’s not in a fireproof safe so I would want to get that out so it doesnt go off and hurt anyone. But the pictures are #1 priority. I plan on digitizing all of them but it’s a lot of work.” ~ immacannibal

“There’s really nothing sentimental…”

“My lungs. Instead of saving material items, I would much prefer to leave as quickly as possible to avoid exposure to the incredibly toxic smoke.”

“There’s really nothing sentimental in the apartment (all old photos have been backed up on a cloud service) and everything else is covered by insurance (video going through all the possessions is also on the cloud).”

“Sure it will be a burden to deal with insurance, but stuff is just stuff and is all replaceable. Other than that, I don’t know if it counts, but I do keep a set of pajamas and slippers on the window sill. It is placed here intentionally so that it can be grabbed in the event of an emergency.”

“If I’m sleeping (always naked), I would grab them on my way out. Doing so should hopefully spare my neighbors the immediate vomiting associated with seeing the grotesque sight of my naked body.” ~ SandwichFries

“We do our best…”

“Firefighter here. We do our best to conduct salvage operations during a structure fire when possible. We try to cover furniture with tarps and shove pictures inside of drawers and even save some to take out with us.”

“Your insurance can pay for the lost materialistic things but it can’t replace the only good photo you have of your loved one, and as a firefighter I do my best to prevent unnecessary damage from not only fire and smoke but water damage.” ~ Okfeeling9598

“Sometimes it feels like…”

“This has unfortunately happened to me twice in my life.”

“The first time it was in my 20s and my upstairs apartment neighbors burned the place down with a candle. I was home at the time and I went back in to grab my very valuable musical instruments. It wasn’t the safest thing to do, but I never really felt terribly in danger.”

“The second time I was/am in my 40s and an arsonist attacked one of my neighbors in my nice little quiet condominium complex at 3 a.m.. They never found the culprit. I nearly died as I slept right through all of the smoke alarms and woke up to a place on fire and full of smoke.”

“My neighbors were calling my phone over and over but it too didn’t wake me up. Fortunately for me and him, my cat was sitting right on the bed with me looking at me like, ‘Help?’ I wrapped him in a blanket off the bed and crawled my way out of the acrid smokefilled condo, touching doorknobs and hoping we both wouldn’t die.”

“Ugh, even typing it up makes me nervous. I now sleep with a smoke alarm attached to the headboard of my bed in an effort to wake me if it happens again.”

“No humans were hurt in the blaze, it burned down three families’ condos and several of my neighbor’s pets died. I live alone, so my cat was all I had to save at that point.”

“Sometimes it feels like I got struck by lightning twice. I can’t imagine the mathematical odds of having your place and stuff burn down twice.” ~ Reddit

Now that you’ve heard people’s suggestions, you hopefully feel a bit more prepared.

And if you’re not, it’s time to make a plan of some kind. Most importantly, there are things you can do to avoid fire in your home.

You can use surge protectors. You can unplug items that are not in use. Never leave flames unattended while you are cooking in your kitchen (where many fires start).

Just some things to think about… but fingers crossed that you never have to make the decision to flee your home!

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People Share The Best ‘You Have No Power Here’ Moment They’ve Ever Witnessed

There’s something really wonderful, thrilling even, when you subvert the expectations of others and remind them of your own power and authority.

Let’s face it – in the working world (and certainly elsewhere) there are people who will attempt to trod all over you. It is ultimately up to you to advocate and assert yourself.

And sometimes it helps to teach those other people a lesson, too. You know… so they don’t act so foolish again.

We heard people share their stories about power differentials after Redditor sormatador asked the online community:

“What was the best ‘you have no power here’ moment you have ever seen?”

“The first time I had dinner…”

“The first time I had dinner at my parents house after I got my own apartment. My dad was giving me grief as usual. Finally, I stood up and said, ‘I don’t live here anymore. I don’t have to put up with you this way any longer. I’m going home.’”

“And walked out. Most liberating moment of my life.” ~ sunshine2632

“I told my ex…”

“I told my ex I was getting remarried. He told me he was going to stop me and put a lien on my house (which I bought with my money six years after the divorce). My son would come home from visitations telling me how his dad was going to stop the wedding and I’d have to pay him all of this money, la di da.”

“Get to court. His attorney goes blah blah blah for what felt like forever. My lawyer (yes, I had to freaking get one) stands up and simply hands the judge the divorce papers showing the disbursement of funds and how my ex isn’t owed anything.”

“Judge looks at ex’s lawyer and basically asks, ‘Did you even ask for this document before filing?’ and dismisses the case.” ~ NeverCallMeFifi

“So my biological grandmother…”

“Not me, but a story my dad used to tell me all the time.”

“So my biological grandmother was very emotionally abusive. She was very controlling and tried to keep people within her sphere of influence. There’s a reason why my grandfather divorced her.”

“In high school my dad had a job washing airplanes at an airport in our area, which he absolutely loved (he’s a huge fan of aircraft in general). He had classes until roughly 10 a.m. and then he’d be off to work until around 10 p.m. (it was what he loved, he didn’t mind long hours being around aircraft all day).”

“But one day he came home a little too late for his mom’s liking. She said she’d take his keys to his motorcycle and that he’d lost privileges to it. The fact of the matter is that he bought the motorcycle himself and he needed it to get to school as well as work.”

“He laughed in her face and she didn’t do anything. She couldn’t do anything.” ~ ITriedMyBestMan

“My boss calling me…”

“My boss calling me at 7 a.m. on a Saturday to ask if I could lay some flooring for a friend of his at nearly half my normal rate. Yeah, hard pass Andy.” ~ CapuccinoBoy

“This is a bit silly…”

“This is a bit silly, but gave me a great feeling of satisfaction.”

“Due to the bad economy and poor money management, my parents have moved into the spare room of the house my husband and I bought a year ago. Things are mostly smooth, tho I’m not the closest to them for several reasons I won’t go into here.”

“The other evening I was out gardening (because it’s hot during the day and we have the luck of having a streetlight right next to our front yard, keeping it pretty well illuminated even after sundown as I mostly garden at night), and I thought I had gotten the hose twisted, as it kept getting stuck.”

“This went on for a bit until I realized that it wasn’t stuck, but being pulled. I looked into the dim area just past the illumination of the street light and spied my father, crouched over and tugging the hose. Well I did the only reasonable thing to do, and I sprayed him.”

“He yelled and ran inside with me chasing. Once he got inside he made a face and goes, ‘You can’t get me now! I’m inside!!’ in that father-to-daughter-don’t-you-make-a-mess tone of voice.”

“I readied my hose, looked him in the eye and said, ‘It’s my house,’ and just let loose with the hose. He was soaked. Worth cleaning up the mess for that moment of true fear in his eyes.” ~ pumpkinspicepiggy

“A couple of days ago…”

“I grew up with my parents having screaming arguments over every little thing (they do love each other – over 50 years of marriage so far testifies to that) and it always upset me.”

“A couple of days ago, they popped into my house to visit for a coffee on their way to stay with friends a few miles away. Within minutes, they were yelling at each other.”

“I took great pleasure in telling them that I would not stand for such behaviour in MY house and, if they didn’t lower their voices, they could stand outside until they learned some manners. The meek apologies tasted so sweet. As did the coffee.” ~ Mangosta007

“Bye, Felicia.”

“I once had a boss try to discipline me (three months later I may add) for my behaviour as it was noted I was ‘rude to her’ by several of the group’s CEOs in a board meeting.”

“On the disciplinary forms, you both have to write your version of the events and it goes to HR for an adjudication. She did her part and I casually filled in something to the effect of ‘Manager continually pressured me into deleting files from our client management system prior to a regulatory audit which is against the ethical code of our profession and not aligned with my moral standards, I accept I was short with her but she was trying to force me into performing an illegal activity.’”

“I watched her collect up the paper and the colour drained from her face. I never did hear from HR. She got fired not long after when I casually mentioned to the CEO in a bar if she remembered the encounter and explained why I may have appeared a little frustrated and upset. Bye Felicia.” ~Noknox87

“He drives me home…”

“The guy that I’d gone on a few dates with introduced me to his parents, things went well, or so i thought. He drives me home, we end up talking and drinking a few beers, I didn’t want him on the road with any alcohol in his system, and i enjoyed his company, so we end up hanging out until 3 a.m.”

“His mom starts blowing up his phone demanding that he come home, so he drives himself home to find that he’s been locked out of his house. His mom said that he can sleep outside, he shouldn’t be spending time with someone like me (still don’t know what she meant by that), and that i’m ‘just another stop on the pussy train.’”

“He tells her not to talk about me like that, to which she says ‘When you’re under my roof, I’ll say whatever I want about whoever i want!’ so he picks up his phone, calls me, asks if he can stay at my place for a little while.”

“It’s been seven years, we’re engaged, have a dog, a cat, and a happy life. I also plan on throwing some subtle train themes into the wedding/celebration after the end of the plague.” ~ bootylikepoww

“If the concession counter was slammed…”

“I worked in management at a theatre for a while. If the concession counter was slammed and I was able, I’d leave my post and help them sling popcorn.”

“One night while helping out, a particularly belligerent man started cussing out a 16-year-old girl on a cash register for being too slow, even suggesting she quit since she clearly couldn’t handle pushing buttons or scooping popcorn.”

“It was pretty disgusting and I felt so bad for the girl, I stepped in and told the guy that our employees have the right to refuse service to customers who harass them as part of our anti-harassment/discrimination policy, empathized that the lines were longer than usual, and suggested he should apologize and move on.”

“He was PISSED. Left half his order on the counter and started fuming. Anticipating his next move, I went back to my original post that night – as manager of the customer service kiosk.”

“Oh boy, the look on his face when he saw me. (Didn’t want a refund of his tickets though so I assume he watched the movie, without popcorn.) ~ dendriticbranch

“Fast forward twenty years…”

“I wasn’t good at returning library books when I was a kid. I got lectured by my school librarian about it a lot. Fast forward twenty years and I’m a supervisor at the local public library and my former now-retired school librarian goes there.”

“One day I see her sneaking around the front desk instead of coming back to say hi to me and I immediately figure something’s up. I go up to say hi and she acts exasperated and tells me she was trying to avoid me because she had overdue books.”

“So I put on my reading glasses, pulled them down over my nose, and delivered the same lecture she’d given me countless times about being responsible and turning in books on time.” ~ daecrist

There’s something so empowering about these stories.

It makes you feel good to stand up for yourself, doesn’t it?

Good.

You should remember to do it more often.

Posted on

People Share The Weirdest Pizza Toppings They’ve Ever Tried

Pizza may have roots in Italy, but it is now a global phenomenon.

That international appeal has led to some creative local flair.

But not everyone thinks creativity is the secret to a great pie.

Redditor mrlogman asked:

“What’s the weirdest pizza topping you’ve heard of or tried?”

C’est Mangnifique

“I was in france and had a pizza with my dad that was Loaded with toppings.. three fried eggs were on the list. there was bacon and really good cheese and sausage and stuff. Very tasty.” – dirkachbar

A Teen’s Take

“I use to be a pizza chef in my late teens at my parents pizzeria.”

“I once made a chocolate calzone (without cheese), it was sickly/revolting.” – anon

When In Cambodia

“spiders and marijuana, not together but both in Cambodia.” – anon

Ruff To Swallow

“dog. I’m serious. I didn’t try it, but I have had zebra tacos.” – new_bedlam

Pineapple Still Raises Questions

“I used to think the same thing. Pineapple and canadian bacon/bacon on a pizza would freak me out. It’s a fruit, I would say.”

“Then, one fateful day, I tried it. Seriously, it’s delicious. The slightly sweet tang coupled with the melted cheese and the salty canadian bacon/bacon, maybe throw in some green peppers for effect…”

“I’m going to order one now. Seriously, try it. You won’t be disappointed.” – anon

A Little Garnish Goes A Long Way

“If you do like pineapple on pizza, try pineapple, ham, mint and feta cheese (Don’t use feta instead of mozzarella, just use the feta as a topping).”

“The mint can be cooked into the pizza or the leaves can be just put on the top as a garnish.” – anon

Heart Of The Platter

“Marinated artichoke heart seemed to be big in Ceuta, Spain.” – Zooph

Everything But The Kitchen Sink

“I had an ‘everything’ pizza in Italy with all sorts of vegetables and a cooked egg on top. They weren’t the normal vegetables you’d expect in the States.”

“Also, I once ate a giant pizza in Italy with 4 sections, 1 with arucola on it. It was pretty weird.”

“-edit- It’s called Capricciosa (with everything- the giant pizza was a specialty).” – poopsix

Restaurant Lab

“I work at a pizza place and sometimes we experiment. Some of the better ones include a PB&J pizza, breakfast pizza (bacon, eggs, cheese, ham, peppers), BLT (bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayo, etc.)”

“On our menu we offer a cheeseburger pizza that uses mustard as the sauce with beef, mozzarella, cheddar, bacon, onions and pickles. We also have a spicy chicken pizza that has a ranch base instead of pizza sauce. Good stuff. Also, try using a spicy tomato sauce instead of a sweet one for a change.”

“EDIT: Also forgot to mention the Taco pizza (taco meat, pizza sauce, topped with lettuce, cheddar and tomato.) We also have a BBQ Chicken pizza (base is BBQ sauce, topped with mozzerella, diced seasoned chicken, cheddar, red onions and optional bacon.)” – analbumcover

Fruity Delight

“When I worked at a pizza place, a guy brought in a carton of blueberries and ordered a cheese pizza. When it came, he put the blueberries on top and ate it. When he was done, there was a single blueberry left alone on the plate.” – yourpopquizkid

Pharma-Giano

“Honestly? I believe it was either Vicodin or Ritalin.”

“My hubby and I along with his brother and a friend of ours had our pill stage, usually simply consuming or snorting, a few years back. One night, after baking a pizza and serenading it (not joking), they got the bright idea of placing it on our pizza as a topping.”

“I wasn’t fond of the idea b/c I don’t want my pizza tasting like pills and it isn’t the most efficient way to consume pills to get high, but. . . I was out numbered.”

“It was disgusting, of course. That’s all I remember from that night.” – anon

Moose Meat

“People always look at me weird when I say “Roast Beef”. But, I promise… Get some lean, thinly sliced (lunch meat grade) roast beef… Heaven.” – Originate

“Our local joint has this great Mr. Pestato pizza that has pesto, slices of potato and onions. It is so weird but so delicious!”

“And I remember that when I was in Guadalajara, they had ketchup packets at the local Dominos because people like to put it on pizza there. ew”– obizuth

That’s Just Bananas

“Banana Pizza is an amazing dessert. Toppings: bananas, mozzarella, sugar, and cinnamon.” – brandar

This Spuds For You

“I really like pierogi pizza!”

“Pizza with a layer of sauteed potatoes, then a layer of sour cream and topped with cheddar cheese, bacon bits and green onions. We have it at Boston Pizza in Canada.” – flashtastic

“Pickles or Broccoli”

“and yes I made them. I’ve got a knack for cooking and can make quite a few things, but back in my freshman year of college, when I first discovered that I enjoyed cooking, all I knew how to make was pizza and so I made every variation i could think of.”

“My favorite is still buffalo chicken. mix two parts marinara sauce with one part buffalo wing sauce, and dip it in ranch or bleu cheese. Delicious.” – jeffp12

Hitting The Sweet Spot

“I have been to a fish and chip shop which sells (or used to sell) chocolate pizza: pizza base with a layer of Rolos, covered in mozzarella and topped with crushed Flake. No tomato sauce though…. The chocolate and cheese works surprisingly well.” – jln

The Sandwich Variant

“There was/is a place in Sandusky, OH that I went to when I worked at Cedar Pointe that served a peanut butter and jelly pizza that I loved. It really just worked out to peanut butter melted onto a warm crust with cold jelly slathered on top, but it was served as a pizza.” – Spazsquatch

Popular Lunch Meat

“People always look at me weird when I say ‘Roast Beef.’ But, I promise… Get some lean, thinly sliced (lunch meat grade) roast beef… Heaven.” – Originate

While major fans of traditional pizza may consider some of these toppings blasphemous, others might see the topping interpretations as a complement to the dish that became a global culinary sensation.

So don’t be quick to judge these twists on a pizza.

Who knows, you may really enjoy squid pizza, amirite?

Posted on

People Break Down The One Message They’d Send Telepathically To Everyone On Earth If They Could

The ability to send a telepathic message to everyone on earth may seem mighty tempting, but what would you actually say?

Would you tell people to be kind? Try to bring an end to war? Play a giant prank on the whole of humanity?

The possibilities are limited only by your imagination.

Redditor HarshJShinde asked:

“If you could telepathically say something that all 7.8 Billion people on earth could hear at once what would it be?”

No Escape

“WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR CAR’S EXTENDED WARRANTY”

–rondoctor

“I always tell them I don’t have a car. Then they try to sell me life insurance lmao”

“The next time they try to sell me life insurance, I’m gonna ask them if they’re threatening me.”

–jcw10489

“Brah my car is 29 years old and they call me every week from a new number.”

–Redditor

“I literally just got 2 of those calls back to back within 5 minutes. And I can’t even not answer them since I have to take calls from work. It’s a pain in the ass to get any sleep.”

–SugoiBakaMatt

“Or the ‘IRS is going to press charges’ or whatever those calls are. Best part is, 95% of the world will have no idea what the IRS is, or have a very different interpretation.”

–boot2skull

“HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, MY CAR IS 18 YEARS OLD AND I BOUGHT IT FROM SOME SKETCHY DUDE THAT BARELY SPOKE ENGLISH AND DIDN’T SIGN THE TITLE. IT DOESN’T HAVE A WARRANTY.”

–illpicklater

Countdown To…?

“A countdown, starting at a decently high number… Let’s say 255. It would be in a monotone, androgynous voice, and everyone would hear it in their own language.”

“The countdown would stop at 6.”

–thehonestyfish

Just Testing

“Test message. Please ignore.”

–swanny52

“don’t panic guys. just the simulation developer testing code in production mode. classic mistake.”

–ashesofturquoise

“Honestly though, that would get conspiracy theorists going. ‘I told you the government is trying mind control’”

–StudMuffinNick

The Most Annoying Part Of YouTube

“‘According to my YouTube statistics, only a small percentage of my viewers are actually subscribed. So if you end up liking this video, please subscribe. It’s free, and you can always unsubscribe later. Also, there’s been a YouTube glitch that’s been going around that makes you unsubscribe randomly, so if you could just scroll down and check if you’re subscribed, it would help me out a lot. With that out of the way, let’s get on with the video.’”

-SeffboiProductions

“‘Hey guys welcome back to my channel…’”

–pure_combistion

“‘This video is sponsored by raid shadow legends’”

-Livid-Classroom

Ye Who Smelt It…

“‘Whomever just farted managed to disturb the eternal conscience’”

–_Trygon

Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn

“‘You picked the correct religion. I am real, and this is the proof you’ve been asking for.’”

“Then I’d watch the world blow up.”

–watch_over_me

“all the atheists are gonna be completely stumped”

-AyeAye_Kane

“The reverse of this would be a lot better. ‘You picked the wrong one.’”

–ThePoultryWhisperer

“Damn, I almost like that better, lol. The whole world would just start freaking and going mad.”

–watch_over_me

“Thanks satan”

–The_gryphon_

Incoherent Screaming

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“That’ll get the message across.”

–The_darter

Whoops

“Anything telepathic transmitted to every living human being on Earth without explanation would immediately be taken as the voice of God by the majority I’m sure.”

“Therefore, the only thing I’d say would be something along the lines of, ‘Whoops… sorry.’”

“EDIT: If, perhaps, this scenario was ongoing and the [mic] was left hot, I would probably maintain silence punctuated with a long series of well-timed Colin Robinson style annoying coughs that just… linger forever in the background of your mind.”

–Redditor

“‘Hey uhhh… I don’t usually do this but I just wanted to tell you all I’m sorry for… well you’ll see.’”

–TheHornyToothbrush

This One’s For The Programmers

“Hello world”

–lj_w

“You forgot the first part. ‘import universe as unv’”

–darklotus_26

Special Containment Procedures

“The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.”

“For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.”

“Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.”

“There will be no further communication.”

–thatguysmellsalot

“Oh, sh*t, I like this one. Not even just a general ‘Hi, we exist’ but an excerpt from one of the SCP stories. I believe it’s called ‘A spectator at the end of the world’ or something similar.”

–FuzzieMonkie

Eternal Ear-worm

“‘Remember the time where Mambo No. 5 wasn’t stuck in your head?’”

–oliverklozov_

“‘Ladies and gentlemen, this is Mambo No. 5′”

–crisantocaz

“Some people just want to watch the world burn”

–NameRogue

That’s A Negative

“‘Don’t do it.’”

“Could save some lives. Could stop some petty crime. Could prevent a perfectly good wedding from happening. Who knows? Results would be interesting.”

–prophetuscaecus

“Imagine how many people wouldn’t microwave their burritos for dinner.”

–Redditor

More Impossible Ear-worms

“Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip That started from this tropic port Aboard this tiny ship.”

“The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day For a three hour tour, a three hour tour…..”

–dorvann

“Alright this, BUT”

“‘This is a story all about how, my life got flip turned upside down….’”

–TheHeresyTrain

It’s All A Simulation

“Act out a conversation between 2 people talking about shutting down the simulation, then freak out about accidentally broadcasting the conversation in the simulation.”

–King_Kezza

“One of my first experiences of sleep paralysis was essentially that only it ended with them deciding to make me think it was a dream.”

–a_stack_of_9_turtles

Get That Bread

“Not going to lie, I’m selling this massive advertising opportunity to the highest bidder.”

–freecain

“RAID: Shadow Legends”

–The__IT__Guy

“With telepathy like this you want to make sure your mind is secure. That’s why I use nord vpn.”

–IBeBallinOutaControl

“And thus, everyone on earth telepathically heard a voice say ‘Not going to lie, I’m selling this massive advertising opportunity to the highest bidder’.”

–ancientweird

“Tonight’s dreamscape brought to you by Nord VPN. Get the new Nord VPN brain bundle to protect yourself from nightmares.”

-Shadowedsphynx

Taking A Page Out Of Donnie’s Book

“’28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes and 12 seconds.’”

–4GotMyFathersFace

“I’m beginning to seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion!”

–henREE_13

So Long And Thanks For All The Fish

“People of Earth, your attention, please. This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system. And regrettably, your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.”

–botchman

“There’s no point in acting all surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display in your local planning department on Alpha Centauri for fifty of your Earth years, so you’ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now.”

–Stompya

“What do you mean you’ve never been to Alpha Centauri? For heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”

–Luxray1000

Whatever you would choose to say, everyone can agree this would be a world-altering event.

Choose wisely.

Posted on

People Share The Wedding Moments That Made Them Think The Marriage Would Never Last

Weddings are meant to be a time of great joy and profound happiness.

Two souls converging and becoming one for all of eternity.

Love is abound like a free wheeling pixie. It’s a glorious sight to behold.

Until it’s not.

Sadly too many people jump into marriage for all the wrong reasons.

They try to fool the world, and themselves, that this is the right thing to do.

But more often than not, the world can see right through you.

Redditor Olya_roo wanted to hear about the red flags and flat out obvious signs they witnessed at a wedding that didn’t give them hope for the couple’s happily ever after…

They asked:

“What wedding moment made you think: ‘They are not going to last long?’”

Let’s talk about love, while it lasts…

Next time skip the Speeches?

“Not the couple getting married but the Best Man and Maid of Honor who were married to each other.”

“Best Man’s speech was all about how hard it was to be married.”

“‘I’ve been married for a year and it feels like 100 years.’”

“Maid of Honor stands up to give a speech and just says ‘Ditto.’”

“It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down.”

“Brother of the bride stood up and gave a nice impromptu speech about teamwork and having a partner to go through life with.”

“How happy the family was to have the groom join their family.”

“Best Man and Maid of Honor were divorced within a year.”

“Couple who got married are still married 30+ years later.”

“I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually were helpful in how not to act as a couple.”

“For me the complex backstory.”

“Bride’s brother is gay and has been in a longterm relationship for 40+ years.”

“At the time he gave his speech about marriage he couldn’t marry the man he loved and I think his passioned defense of marriage was born from that.”

“When people would say they were against gay marriage because it makes a mockery of marriage I’d think of that night.”

“The married couple who had no respect for marriage could easily marry (and did over and over again) and the man who stood up and defended marriage could not.”

“He’s married now and lovingly takes care of his husband as he battles health issues.”  ~ designgoddess

Financials…

“When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the ‘for richer or poorer’ part and she said ‘for richer or richer and maybe for poorer.’”

“The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.” ~ crm115

How much is this costing?

“I’M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!”

“My wife’s brother just got married this past May.”

“Bride’s mother is a big DO IT YOURSELF person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc…”

“Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.”

“Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (groom’s mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!!).”

“And asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy.”

“It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side.”  ~ WanderingRaindog

Clothes Speak

“The groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned ‘Game Over.’” ~ Reddit

Best Ensemble Performance! 

“My wife got invited to a client’s daughter’s wedding.”

“The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students.”

“The maid-of-honour’s toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of ‘if it couldn’t be me, I’m glad it’s my best friend that’s marrying you.’”

“The best-man’s speech was a lusty declaration of ‘if it doesn’t work out, call me, babe… like the previous time you called me.’”

“Other toasts were similarly weird.”

“A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was ‘this close’ to standing up during the ‘speak now or forever hold your peace’ thing.”

“I’m still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally f**ked-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.”  ~ sharplescorner

Be Sure to Eat Out

“I was maid of honor.”

“Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff.”

“Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (something she’s passionate about) to the officiant.”

“She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her.”

“He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic.”

“That always stuck with me. He wasn’t laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back.”

“They lasted 7 months.” ~ Kraken_of_BeverlyRd

BE SURE!!! 

“When my sister married her first husband she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle ‘I can make this work, right?’”

“They were divorced 6 months later.”

“My whole family knew it wasn’t a good idea since the original engagement a year prior.”  ~ IMgonnaDIE

Bodily Harm

“He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception.”

“He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered.”

“They had to hold a cold pack to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos.”

“Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.”  ~ blackhart452

The Family Brawl…

“Well here it goes…”

“My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that groom was not the best to my cousin while dating.”

“The bride’s brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families.”

“Next thing you know the police show up and literally pepper spray everyone.”

“Including my grandma, kids and anyone near the area.”

“I don’t remember if anyone got arrested but the story got on CBS the early show for the international news.”

“Lol they did not last long to say the least.” ~ mendoza327

Kisses…

“When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.”  ~ csdirty

Some of us are just going to die alone, or with a parrot.

And that is ok.

It is better to be alone than unhappy.

Besides if you wait just a little longer, the right one may not be far off.

Don’t say “I DO” until you’re 100% sure!!

Posted on

People Break Down The Greatest Comebacks To An Insult They’ve Ever Heard

We’ve all encountered a bully or a person who likes to throw insults around for no good reason.

But only some of us feel gifted in the ability to throw shade back at the person.

When we think of a snappy reply or come across someone else’s, the burn almost feels like something worth celebrating.

Redditor random-joe-shmoe asked:

“What is the greatest comeback to an insult you have ever heard?”

There were, of course, endowment jokes.

“On a construction site one afternoon, different trades were working in the same area. Like silly team sports, the sparkies always hang with the sparkies and the turd wranglers always hang with the turd wranglers and anytime they’re together it turns into a pointless dick-measuring contest (usually not literally)!”

“One particularly childish exchange saw two men chopping back and forth- my dick biggest, blah blah blah. Finally one of em spits out this classic:”

“‘I’ve got girth like a can of corn!’”

“And the clap back was unforgettable:”

“‘But you’ve got length like a can of tuna!’”

“Everyone busted up. Mister girth tried to hide his embarrassment but was tied-up. No come-back. And a room of men laughing uncontrollably.”

“Good times…” – heathenbeast

“My grandma got into a fight at the grocery store with a guy who told my 9-year-old brother to ‘move the f**k out of the way.’”

“They were going at it and his final words were, ‘Suck my d**k, b***h!’”

“She said across the store, ‘If I could find it, b***h!’”

“Not at Walmart. Even better – ALDI.” – grimmreaper514

Others made comebacks about their bodies.

“In middle school, a boy asked when I was going to grow some boobs. So I asked him when he was donating his……”

“I’m still really proud of that one.”

“Edit: I didn’t expect this to blow up. But I remember this clearly:”

“He was walking out of the English class I was walking into. We met at the doorway and were chest to chest.”

“And he looks me in the eye and said, ‘Grow some tits.’”

“Without missing a beat, I deadpanned, ‘Donate yours.’”

“Then I proceeded to proudly walk to my desk with a big smile.”

“Also, I did eventually grow some boobs. They are small but they are nice.” – Jaci_D

Some kids made some great jokes.

“Had a friend growing up who had an adopted brother a year or so younger. They would always talk s**t and fight a bit here and there.”

“One time my friend said to his brother that he was adopted and can go f**k off (he knew he was adopted).”

“Without missing a beat, he shot back at my friend, ‘Yeah well, clearly you weren’t enough for mom and dad. That’s why they bought me.’”

“Yes, he used the word ‘bought.’” – Atlv0486

“I have a bunch but one of the more memorable ones was back in 8th grade. For context, I didn’t make the basketball team in 7th grade, but I made the team in 8th grade.”

“This kid that was on the team the previous year but didn’t make it currently was really upset and telling me how bad I am and blah blah blah.”

“I told him that if he is better than me, then why didn’t he make the team, and he replied with, ‘It’s just cause of my grades, bro.’”

“So I replied with, ‘Oh so you’re just f**king stupid then?’”

“He gave up cause it was either accept that he was bad or accept he was an idiot, so…” – wuesteworld

“My sister started saying ‘go to h**l’ as a moody, often rude, teenager. She is a couple of years older than me.”

“One day she said it to me after she’d been chastised by our dad – for something she had done.”

“I usually shrugged off her insults because they were meaningless. This day, however, I retorted, ‘Why would I go anywhere you are?’”

“I’m still pleased with my 13-year-old brain for that one. I do remember her slamming her bedroom door as her comeback.” – shining_tiger

“Your mom” jokes never seem to go out of style.

“I was bulls**tting with a couple of buddies, and may have suggested that I banged one of their moms, to which said friend replied, ‘My mom’s dead.’”

“My mouth bypassed my brain and replied, ‘That explains the dirt.’” – CGPsaint

“English class in Middle School:”

“Kid A – ‘yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonald’s last night. Must feel like s**t having a mom that works at McDonald’s.’”

“Kid B – ‘At least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work.’”

“English teacher far louder than he realized, ‘DAYUM!’”

“The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on…” – Nutella_Zamboni

Some said jokes and comebacks were all in the timing.

“I saw a clip of a standup comedian the other day, and he said something along the lines of, ‘The first time I had sex, it was terrible… the first time I had sex…’”

“A woman chimed in with, ‘You mean yesterday?’”

“The crowd laughed for a while, and while the comedian is waiting for them to calm down, you can see the gears turning in his head.”

“Once it gets down to basically a few chuckles, he just said, ‘Glad you remember,’ and the crowd just lost their s**t, it was amazing.” – JacenCaedus1

“I have a twin brother. I’m older.”

“He once told me when I came out, they knew it was a mistake and immediately tried again.”

“I told him he was the ‘Buy one, Get one of equal or lesser value free’ deal.”

“There was a fight after that one.” – dustyrags

While we’re not all great at giving someone a comeback in the moment, we can all appreciate those moments when we surprise ourselves, or when someone else achieves the perfect clapback.

These comments are often witty or brutal, perhaps even surprising, but the best thing generally is how memorable these moments are, even decades later.

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People Break Down Which Modern Day Bad Guys Will Get A Future Image Reboot The Way Pirates Did

Nostalgia is a wonderful thing.

We look back at the past through rose-colored glasses and decide the difficult thing we went through wasn’t really that difficult, or it taught us a valuable lesson, or it was the best moment of our lives.

Nostalgia doesn’t just work on events though, it can do a wonderful job at making yesterday’s villains the heroes of modern stories.

We see this all the time with Revisionist histories that take cruel and monstrous figures and morph them into benevolent and wise leaders.

With this in mind, Redditor YanTyanTeth asked Reddit:

“300-400 years ago, pirates were a terrifying force to be reckoned with.”

“Now they’re family friendly figures of fun.”

“What will be their modern day equivalent a few centuries from now?”

Society has a short memory.

“Bloods and Crips type gangbangers, motor bike gangs, hell in 500 years the memory of people like the nazis, bolsheviks, and Al Qaeda will be such distant memories people might like them.”

“People dress up as Vikings for Halloween.”

“Atilla Th Hun was a good guy in Night At The Museum.” ~ devilthedankdawg

The Irony is not lost on us…

“ISIS … Just imagine the irony of western kids playing with ISIS figurines”

“Edit: Wow thank you all for the upvotes and the award. I really enjoyed reading all your comments” ~watergate_boi

Revisionist history isn’t just for madmen!

“In 400 years cancer will be so cured that ever being seriously ill with it will be forgotten too. Then it’ll be inaccurately represented in historical stories whenever an illness is needed…”

“A: are you coming out tonight?”

“B: no sorry I’ve got cancer”

“A: ok! Well catch you tomorrow!”

“B: lol ok!” ~ Sell200AprilAt142

Two sides of the same coin?

“ICE and Immigrants.”

“Instead of cowboys and Indians.” ~ spderweb

Some took a broader view of the question.

“Possible.”

“The irony, though, is that we remember pirates fondly because at least some pirate ships were more egalitarian than their legal counterparts.”

“You were treated better by your peers on a pirate ship than on a privateer’s crew… at least, that’s what is commonly believed.”

“That isn’t true these days. Drug syndicates and gangs are just as ruthless as legal business corporations.”

“The sole good thing that can be said about illegal organizations, that can’t be said about some legal ones, is, I suppose, that they offer employment to people who would otherwise be complete outcasts.”

“But that’s not an artifact of them being good— it’s a consequence of our society being so sh*tty.”

“I think movies and books have an influence here.”

“Fiction requires balanced characters, even among your antagonists.”

“A bad guy with no redeeming qualities is lazy writing. But in the real world, people with no redeeming qualities exist— they’re not even uncommon.” ~ michaelochurch

The siren call of the Highway.

“Bikers in general.”

“They’re already being ‘diluted’ from predominantly (or almost exclusively) outlaw types into a subculture.”

“People who ride the traditional Harley and Harley-like cruisers already often dress the part, and try to give off an air of rebellion and counterculture, while doing things like charitable events.”

“We’ve had around 100 years of biker counterculture, and gone from the progenitors to the subculture I speak of. In another 200-300 years, I could easily see a ‘Jack Sparrow’ type biker character.” ~ Euchre

Some tried to give context to our fascination.

“Instead of looking forward, we should look back.”

“A lot of pirates of the past actually had political motivations/capabilities and commanded small navies.”

“Others acted as toll stations on popular sea routes.”

“Our views of them have been severely slanted by Hollywood. There were also several african/black pirates who became commanders.”

“We tend to think of most pirates as white, which was not entirely the case.”

“There also was an entire history of pirates inside the Mediterranean (Ottomans and Arabs) that has been completely ignored by history.”

“We tend to look on pirates as dirty criminals who were ugly and disabled, when in fact many were competent and rich.”

“My feeling is modern elites don’t like to expose stories of successful rebels in the mass media.”

“Anyone who rebels in a movie or story has to eventually be suppressed, with the message being that you can’t win against authority ultimately.”

“You can go out in a blaze of glory, but you’re going to lose.”

“The movie ‘Outland’ is a bit of a sci-fi space pirate movie, or at least one where a security guard (Sean Connery) sets up a defense against a hit squad.”

“Other than that, there’s Han Solo, and maybe a bit of Captain Kirk.”

“Other than the, the future pirate story is pretty underdeveloped, but there are past pirate stories that would make great ‘yarrrrns’ as well!” ~ soundtrackband

Some fell back on the innocence of youth.

“In 6th grade I DID know they had something to do with hookers and I did a pimp voice/persona and all the girls at my lunch table called themselves my hoes and it was a big f*cked up joke that we all thought was hilarious.”

“Kids are messed up.” ~ Schnitzelgruben

We don’t even have to go that far back.

“Narcos, we don’t even need a century to know that, just how people idealizes the figure of Pablo Escobar and others infamous narcos in Latin America” ~ Molokon92

And…

“Yeah, the way they are presented is problematic.”

“At least movies like Sicario show the brutality of the narcos/cartels.”

“If anything, movies covering narcos/cartels should at most do what Godfather 1 and 2 did, where it was more matter of fact than glorification.”

“That being said, I wont fault a movie for glorifying the wealth and excess just like I didn’t fault Wolf of Wall Street.” ~ karsh36

Historical revision is a dangerous game.

We take the parts of our past we don’t like and paint over them so they’re a little easier to deal with.

The danger, of course, is we forget the past was filled with monsters to be learned from and avoided.

Be wary of false histories, but don’t forget to have a little fun along the way.