Category: life

Posted on

Experts from Harvard Share Tips for the Perfect Cover Letter

Picture this scenario: You’ve just received your college degree and are chomping at the bit to get into a job that features your skills. You’ve done everything right. Great grades, solid references, a sparkling new resume, and a boatload of internships to prove your experience.

You’re scanning open positions online and come across your dream job! You upload your resume and fill out the application marking your interest. But before you click “submit” there is a section to upload a cover letter. Uh oh. 

You quickly draft a letter to the HR manager regurgitating your resume. Good enough, right? Wrong.

According to Inc.com, there are over 250 applicants vying for that job, but only about 2% of those score an interview. So how do you stand out among the competition?

Your cover letter.

Photo Credit: Pexels, Lukas

A cover letter sets you apart. It lets the employer understand your personality, writing skills and why you are better than the competition.

What to include in your cover letter

Linda Spencer, Assistant Director of the Office of Career Services at Harvard answers the all-important question:

  1. Why are you a great fit for that specific company?
  2. How would you add value back into the organization if hired for that specific role? What impact could you make?

She also touches on an astounding statistic that “…the average employer takes up only about 7 seconds [to review resumes]. So they are not reading these resumes, they’re skimming these resumes. They need to know right off the bat how you are adding value.”

If you are looking to get to the top of the stack, a cover letter will help. Here’s what you need to include.

Address the letter to an actual person

With job sites like Linkedin, you should be able to seek out the hiring manager. And sometimes the job description lists the person performing the interviews, such as a Human Resources individual. Take that opportunity to personalize that letter to a specific audience (if you get it wrong, it’s not the end of the world).

State your purpose for the letter

An opener such as: “I am writing to express my interest in the [ENTER Position Title] within your organization.

Be clear as to why they are receiving your resume. You may also include where you found the job—via their website or a job board.

Do not summarize your resume!

Your cover letter should enhance your resume, not rehash it into paragraph form. This is your chance to shine and show a little of your personality and enthusiasm.

“If you have relevant school or work experience, be sure to point it out with one or two key examples,” Harvard’s Career Services Manual states. “Emphasize skills or abilities that relate to the job. Be sure to do this in a confident manner and keep in mind that the reader will also view your letter as an example of your writing skills.”

Use action words and the words “You” or “Your organization” rather than “I”

Remember, the employer wants to know what you can do for their company! Show them in your cover letter (don’t tell them).  If you use the word “I”, it tells the company what you hope to gain from them, not the other way around.

Companies are interested in finding the best employee and that top echelon of candidates express what they can to add value to the job.

And skip the overused words like “hard-working, results-driven, team player.” Chances are the hiring manager has seen these a million times. Give them action. Show them how you are a team player. What projects have you done in which you proved you are a results-driven candidate?

Closing statement

In the end, show your enthusiasm for being in consideration for the role. Thank them for their time and tell them you are looking forward to discussing your candidacy further. This shows them you are excited and appreciative.

Consistency

Lastly, consistency is key. Your font type, size, etc should match your resume. These two very important documents complement each other and should match across the board.

Here is an excellent example of a cover letter breakdown to help you score that dream job!

Photo Credit: Harvard

Now get out there and apply!

The post Experts from Harvard Share Tips for the Perfect Cover Letter appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Your Yellow Pit Stains Aren’t Sweat — Learn the Science Behind All the Chemical Reactions Happening

White tees are a crucial part of any wardrobe for men and woman — until the inevitable yellow pit stains. The stains can be super annoying to get out, and many people think they’re caused solely by sweat. So, antiperspirant or deodorant should prevent them, right? Wrong.

On the contrary, yellow pit stains are actually caused by antiperspirant.  They develop from a chemical reaction among the proteins in sweat, the cotton in T-shirts, and the aluminum salts in antiperspirant.

Photo Credit: iStock

Aluminum is the key active ingredient in antiperspirant, and it’s what differentiates antiperspirants from plain deodorants. The ingredient has become controversial in recent decades due to a fear that it is linked to breast cancer (though there’s actually not a clear link). Some health advocates also say that it’s just healthier to let yourself sweat.

Well, apparently there is another reason to avoid aluminum — it is the cause of those pesky yellow pit stains. At the very least, adding more antiperspirant is definitely not going to solve the yellow stain problem.

Photo Credit: iStock

But even before aluminum-based antiperspirant, sweat stains came in a wide range of colors depending on what products people used for deodorant. Around the turn of the 20th century, a product called Odorono tended to result in red underarm stains. Clothing artifacts from history show sweat stains that are yellow, orange, red, brown or even green.

Luckily, there are other

to prevent yellow pit stains without switching your deodorant. You can pre-treat your new, unyellowed T-shirts with an enzymatic laundry spray right after you wear them, or add a bit of lemon juice to your load of whites (but only whites!).

The post Your Yellow Pit Stains Aren’t Sweat — Learn the Science Behind All the Chemical Reactions Happening appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

These 13 Pets Really Don’t Want Their Owners to Ever Leave

You know how your dog or cat’s anxiety can begin the moment they see you drag out your suitcase. They might even try to sit in your suitcase, thinking that you’ll be forced to stay home, or maybe you won’t notice and you’ll just pack around them.

Whatever the reason, these 13 pets are definitely not letting their human go without a fight.

13. Thou shall not pass.

My cat’s new solution to keep me from leaving from aww

12. Okay so you’re mad but at least you’re home!

I tried to leave early for work this morning but Mulder had other ideas… from aww

11. You’d better stay home. I mean, what choice do you have?

My dog wedges his snout between the door when I leave for work so I can’t close it. One time he went the extra mile. from aww

10. Now, hold that pose…

Leaving Bentley is the hardest part of the day from aww

9. You think you’re the only one who can ride this bike, human?

This is how Merlin attempts to prevent my brother from leaving his apartment. from aww

8. This is the best reason to snooze an alarm I’ve ever heard of.

My cat learned that the alarm sound means I wake up, and she snuggles on my chest right after. I’ve been setting my alarm 30 minutes early every day to give her more happy time. from aww

7. That face.

You weren’t planning on leaving the house today, were you? from aww

6. He fits! See?

She thought we were leaving without her from aww

5. Someone’s been watching Puss in Boots.

Every time I leave for work she does this, it’s not fair from aww

4. My heart.

My dog whenever she realizes we are leaving the house from aww

3. He will not be moved.

My dog is smart enough to understand that packing = people leaving bc of how often my parents go on trips. They’re taking him to the beach this week but when he saw them packing he ran out to the back of the car and sat there so they can’t leave without him ? he’s been there for about 40 minutes from aww

2. There’s nothing you can do. Nope.

He cries everyday I leave for work. Today he’s decided he’s coming with me. from aww

1. Let’s see how far you get without these, hmm?

We don’t deserve pets. They’re too pure.

The post These 13 Pets Really Don’t Want Their Owners to Ever Leave appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Psychologists Say That Baking Improves Your Mood – Here’s Why

A lot of folks out there who innately understand that the act of measuring ingredients, kneading dough, licking spoons, and dropping cookies, cakes, muffins, bread, or all of the above into a hot oven is a quick fix for a bad day, a fight with your spouse, or a general funk that’s proving hard to escape.

But it turns out that there is psychology behind the fact that baking – for yourself or others – possesses a therapeutic element.

Studies have shown that creative practices, like baking and knitting, have the ability to contribute to a person’s overall sense of well-being, a fact that Boston University’s Donna Pincus says  is due to how baking allows “the benefit of allowing people creative expression.”

“There’s a lot of literature for connection between creative expression and overall wellbeing,” Pincus continues. “Whether it’s painting or it’s making music [or baking], there is a stress relief that people get from having some kind of outlet and a way to express themselves.”

Stress, of course, is linked to a variety of mental and physical problems, which means finding ways to cope is an important step in leading a healthy life.

Baking also helps people practice mindfulness, as it allows you to focus on straightforward directions listed in a specific order – the fact that you’re just following along lets your mind grab onto something other than the stress and anxiety that might exist outside the kitchen.

Julie Ohana, a clinical social worker and culinary art therapist, claims that baking helps you practice the “balance of the moment and the bigger picture.” When you’re baking, you’re measuring ingredients and mixing them together, all while imagining how they’ll come together in the end and how someone else might be pleased to enjoy that final product, too.

Which brings us to another psychological benefit – sharing your baked goods with others. Doing something good without expecting anything in return is a proven mood-booster, confirms Pincus.

“You feel like you’ve done something good for the world, which perhaps increases your meaning in life and connection with other people.”

Food can also function as a mode of communication, says psychology and brain science professor Susan Whitbourne.

“It can be helpful for people who have difficulty expressing their feelings in words to show thanks, appreciation, or sympathy with baked goods.”

In a world where it can be hard to find ways to communicate our feelings to others, being able to say it with baked goods (or a quilt, or a cross-stitch) is as easy as it is satisfying.

So get out there and bake, people – it’s good for your body, your mind, your community and your belly, too.

The post Psychologists Say That Baking Improves Your Mood – Here’s Why appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Drinking Water All Day IS NOT the Best Way to Stay Hydrated — Learn the Best Methods

I’ve heard my fair share of the advice “make sure you drink a lot of water!”

I’m guilty of worrying over whether my nieces and nephews are hydrating well enough, too, especially on these hot summer days. Dehydration causes fatigue, saps endurance, and can interfere with your mood and ability to concentrate.

And while the National Academy of Medicine does recommend adults drink between 91 and 125 fl oz of water every day, guzzling the stuff morning, noon, and night may not be the optimal way to keep hydrated.

View this post on Instagram

? Do you have access to clean drinking water whenever you want? ⠀ ⠀ ?Last UNICEF report says: 1 in 3 people globally do not have access to safe drinking water: ⠀ ? 2.2 billion people around the world do not have safely managed drinking water services ⠀ ?4.2 billion people do not have safely managed sanitation services ⠀ ?3 billion lack basic handwashing facilities ⠀ ??‍?Next time you think your life sucks remember the above and say thank you for what you have! ⠀ Much love ❤ • • • • • #unicef #un #motivation #appreciate #saythankyou #cleanwater #water #drinkingwater #report #savetheearth #bestlifescenario #travelbloggervibes #africa #children #kids #beirut #baalbek #byblos #lebanon

A post shared by ANNA (@bestlifescenario) on

Especially, says professor of public health David Nieman, if you’re not drinking it with a meal.

“If you’re drinking water and then, within two hours, your urine output is really high and is clear, that means the water is not staying in well…plain water has a tendency to slip right through the human digestive system when not accompanied by food or nutrients.”

In fact, if you think your clear urine is a sign you’re doing something right, that’s not exactly the case, either, according to the Cleveland Clinic – it’s a sign of “overhydration” in most cases.

A 2015 study found that many kinds of drinks help you rehydrate – some as efficiently as water – and that several different elements come into play when considering how much H2O is absorbed in the process. Their research found that if you ingest water along with animo acids, fats and other minerals, it seems to help the body retain the much needed hydration.

For that reason, orange juice, milk, tea, and sports drinks were all good options when hydration is your goal.

“People who are drinking bottles and bottles of water in between meals and with no food, they’re probably just peeing most of that out,” Neiman confirms.

Also? Drinking too much water can actually be harmful.

“In athletes or people who are exercising for hours, if they’re only drinking water, they can throw out too much sodium in their urine, which leads to an imbalance in the body’s sodium levels,” Nieman adds.

The result can be a potentially deadly condition called “hyponatremia,” and in those cases, sports drinks and other beverages that contain nutrients are a better option.

Even if you’re not an athlete, there are better ways than pounding water all day to keep your body and your brain running at optimal levels. Sipping water prevents an overload in the kidneys and helps your body retain and use the water you’ve drank.

Another good tip is to drink water before, during, and immediately after a meal or snack.

“Drinking water with amino acids or fats or vitamins or minerals helps the body take up more of the water, which is why beverages like milk and fruit juice tend to look pretty good in these hydration studies.”

Some of Neiman’s own research suggests that even eating a banana would be a better way to recover from a workout than drinking a bunch of water.

The long and short seems to be that you can and should keep drinking water, but it’s not a bad idea exercise more discretion in the whens and hows – not so much all at once, and taken with food whenever possible.

“Water is good for you,” Neiman cracks, “but you can drown in it, too.”

Words to live by.

The post Drinking Water All Day IS NOT the Best Way to Stay Hydrated — Learn the Best Methods appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

15 Interesting Food Facts to Chew On

Are you a foodie? Or at least think you are? Think you know the ins-and-outs of what we stuff in our faces every day?

Well, if so, you should definitely keep reading because these food facts are jam-packed with information you might be totally in the dark about, foodie or not.

Read on, friends.

1. Peppers

A chipotle pepper is simply a dried and smoked jalapeño. In fact, all dried chiles have different names than their fresh counterparts.

2. I knew it!

Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish both have the same base.

3. A little short

Double Stuf Oreos DO NOT have twice the creme filling. In fact, a curious math teacher discovered that the Double Stufs only have 1.86x the creme as the original cookies, to be extremely precise.

4. Always listen to all of your employees

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos were invented by a janitor who worked at the Frito-Lay plant.

5. Now it all makes sense

Spam is named for a combination of “spice” and “ham.”

6. Delish!

View this post on Instagram

Share your break this #WorldFriendshipDay ?‍♀️

A post shared by KITKAT (@kitkat) on

Kit Kats are filled…with other broken Kit Kats.

7. Not too much, now

Rhubarb leaves are poisonous…so if you’re growing it in your garden, beware. And make sure your kids don’t get into it, too.

8. Four shapes

McDonald’s nuggets come in four distinct shapes: Bell, Bone, Boot, and Ball.

9. Which one’s which?

Bananas are technically berries, while technically strawberries are not berries.

10. For all time

Honey never goes bad. EVER. So tuck that away into your apocalypse-prepper brain…

11. Pounds for days

Pound cake got its name because the original recipe contained one pound of each ingredient.

12. Quite an impressive plant

View this post on Instagram

My dazzling blue kale is nearly a yard long from end to end. (30" actual size) this is what happens if you give the plant everything it needs including proper water, soil, weather, trace minerals, beneficial fungi, beneficial bacteria, and organic matter. I strive to have every one of my plant babies to thrive like this. I'm not there yet.. Thriving plants make for thriving people. Eat more thriving nutrient dense plants. Learn how I grow my thriving plants on my YouTube channel. Link on profile page. #dazzlingkale #dazzlingbluekale #lacinatokale #dinokale #dinosaurkale #tuscankale #brassicaoleracea #nutrientdense #nutritarian #growingyourgreens #backyardgardening #organicgardening #organicgarden #growyourown #growyourownfood #homegrown #bigkale #largekale #hugekale #eatkale #kale #kaleme

A post shared by John Kohler (@growingyourgreens) on

Kale, broccoli, cabbage, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, and kohlrabi all come from the same plant. It’s called Brassica oleracea, and it’s been bred over time to provide a literal half dozen different veggies for your plate.

13. Straight up

Asparagus grows straight up out of the ground.

14. Gimme the big guns

View this post on Instagram

Since 1896! #TootsieRoll

A post shared by Tootsie Roll Industries (@tootsieroll) on

Tootsie Rolls start out as huge 13-pound logs that are shaped down to their little sizes.

15. That’s the difference

The difference between jam and jelly is thus: jam is made with fruit; jelly is made with fruit juice.

The post 15 Interesting Food Facts to Chew On appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Need a New Fun Summer Game for the Kiddos? Try the Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge.

Here’s a viral Internet challenge with a twist: it’s for the kiddos. And trust us, you’ll want to use this one to wear them out.

The Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge was started by Raising Dragons, a site dedicated to “raising strong, smart, amazing kids.” Andrea, a mother of 4 boys, started blogging about creative and smart ways to entertain your kids, while also teaching them about science, math, and other important things in a fun way.

“I’m always looking for fun ways to entertain the kids outdoors when the weather is nice and this Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge is the perfect game to keep all my kids engaged and moving!”

How does it work?

Andrea states it’s super simple, and we agree. What you’ll need is a few balls, hula hoops, and string. Tie the string to each hula hoop and set out the balls around the yard, within “tossing” distance.

How to play

Each child is given a hula hoop lasso and tosses it toward each ball, capturing it. Once “snagged” they can reel it toward themselves. And voila! The Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge.

Here a quick video!

Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge – Fun Outdoor Kids Activity

Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge ? ages 3+ ? This fun, outdoor game is so simple to set up and is so much fun to play!! Full details >> https://www.raisingdragons.com/hula-hoop-lasso-challenge/

Posted by Raising Dragons – Activities For Kids on Wednesday, July 24, 2019

 

But what about the “challenge” part?

Easy. You can make this game competitive by having each child try to capture as many balls as possible. They can even play on teams to see which one captures the balls the fastest!

This easy-to-set-up game is great for birthday activities or playdates. It’s even great for kids games at picnics. You could even offer prizes to the winners.

This is bound to make the summer head out with a bang!

The post Need a New Fun Summer Game for the Kiddos? Try the Hula Hoop Lasso Challenge. appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

All Nurses Wish Their Patients Would Stop Doing These 12 Things

When it comes to jobs where serving the public is at the heart of your duties, the pet peeves can really pile up.

Nurses are the unsung heroes of the medical world, and they take more than their fair share of crap – which is why, for the love of god, please stop doing these 12 things immediately.

12. What if it’s a male patient, though?

11. They can’t handle it, and they won’t remember it.

10. Wash your hands, heathens.

9. The internet doesn’t actually know more than your medical staff.

8. It’s like they can smell the chaos.

7. A common misconception.

6. Yeah, even I know you’re supposed to hold your breath.

5. It’s so much less exciting, though!

4. They need eyes on that.

3. I’m pretty sure they’re not sanitary or practical.

2. Seriously everyone needs a break!

1. Understandable.

The more you know!

The post All Nurses Wish Their Patients Would Stop Doing These 12 Things appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

People Who “Ran to the Store” and Never Went Home Share Their Stories

Some people may fantasize about walking out on their family, home, and life to start a new one for a number of reasons – valid and not so valid – but what is it actually like to say “I’m running to the store” and never go back home?

These 15 people are willing to share the true tales of how they walked the walk…straight out the door.

#15. I never forgot him.

When I was five, my dad came home from work, and my mom informed him out, completely of the blue, that she wanted an immediate divorce (I found out many years later she’d had an affair and was pregnant). He moved out of the house (they had three little kids together; I was the oldest), and she married her second husband (twice; they weren’t divorced the first time). He was paying child support as he was supposed to, but she was calling him at work and sending him letters at home (his sister kept them), asking for more, and he began to get complaints about it from his bosses. He asked his mother what he should do; she advised him to tell her he was giving her all he could, and all he was ordered to, and that he was going to lose his job if she kept it up. And, that if she didn’t stop, he’d leave the state, and she’d never hear from him again. She thought that would make her wise up and leave him alone. So, he did. But she continued. So, he asked his mother for advice again. Her advice was to follow through. And so, he did. He packed his clothes into his car, and headed for Canada. He got as far as two states north from where he began, liked a little town he came across, and got a job there.

I never forgot him. I was the only one of the three of us kids that had any memories of him. But when I was 16 and moved away from my extremely abusive home (in every way), I called my aunt, whose name I knew, who happened to live in the town I was also then living in, and told her I wanted to meet him. Coincidentally, he happened to be visiting her. I met him, my aunt, my grandfather, and my grandmother while he was there. It turned out to be the only time I would ever meet my grandfather; he died two years later. But I will never, ever forget it – he wrapped me up in a big, strong bearhug; told me how beautiful I was; how much he loved me, and how much he’d ALWAYS loved me, and how very, very happy he was to see me again after all these years. I cried then, and I’m crying again now, writing it down. I can still feel the love and caring in his arms.

I wasn’t ready to get to know my dad at 16 though; I realize now that I just wanted to “see” him. It took me another 10 years before I contacted him again. But I did; when I was living in California. And when I did, he took two weeks vacation (so did I), drove down to see me, and we spent the entire two weeks getting to know one another. And once he left, we were in contact daily. And I quit my job and moved up to the PNW a month later, because I knew the hole in my heart would never be filled until my dad was a part of my life. And I was correct.

My son has a grandpa because of my decision, and my dad is the greatest grandpa there is. I wish he’d have always been in my life, but the outcome I received is worth everything I’ve been through. I love you, Dad. <3

#14. I said I would be back.

I didn’t go out for cigarettes, but I pulled a similar stunt.

My mom is abusive and I had no spine, so I told her I was going to move in with my dad for the summer, I said I would be back before the end of August. After I moved in with my dad I got my state ID (my mom didn’t want me to have any kind of id) and I finally got my drivers permit a few weeks later. I felt bad for lying at the time, but now l know if I didn’t lie to her I would have never gotten out of there. I would be stuck living on a shitty little hobby farm with a woman who did everything in her power to tear me down and hurt me.

#13. I was just a toddler.

I was a toddler. 2 or so. After 9/11 my mother moved ya up to Vermont with her boyfriend who, for what it is worth, is now in federal prison for first degree murder of another girlfriend. As that indicates he wasn’t a good guy. He wouldn’t let me drink water unless I’d eaten a full meal, and I was two, so my mother had to serve fruit with every meal so I’d have moisture and let me drink water while he was at work. On days he didn’t work she & I would go out and explore as much as we could. We took to cleaning up old over grown graveyards, since it was interesting and fun and most importantly time consuming. But he was very controlling and didn’t want us to leave. She didn’t have a car so we had to walk everywhere. Being from NC and with no ability to purchase a train ticket because he controlled all her finances and she didn’t have a phone, she was forced to use a pay phone to contact my grandparents to fly up and come rescue us and fly us back. And had to tune it with his work schedule to make sure he wasn’t there when they came because she thought he might try to hurt me if he saw them come to take us.

#12. I slept on the couch for months.

When I was 18, I moved out from my abusive father. I was commuting to college at the time and I had morning classes so the night before I packed my car with as much of my stuff as I could, and set off.

One of my professors that I regularly talk to after class noticed that my car was full of clothes and asked if everything was okay. Over lunch I explained my situation, and he offered to take me in. I had already made arrangements to live with my mother. After my classes for the day were over I went home for the first time since I was a child to live with my mother.

I slept on the couch for months before getting my own bed, and we didn’t always have the money to eat, but we made it work.

I have seen my father one time since then because he swore to me that he had changed, that night he proceeded to get wasted and tried to put his hands on me. I haven’t seen him since, and I have no regrets.

Edit: Thank you for the gold and silver! I didn’t expect it. I was just wanting to finally share my experience with a wider audience, and maybe bring hope to anyone else in a situation like mine.

Edit 2: Just to clear up some confusion that I’ve noticed in the replies, I am a male. “Put hands on me” is a slang term for starting a fight. I’m not sure if it’s popular slang, or regional slang (southeast US) but at no point was I sexually abused. I apologize if there was any confusion.

#11. My mom just wasn’t there anymore.

ETSay: thank you everyone for all the kind words and support and awards. I felt a lot of love reading it all today.

My mom just all of the sudden wasn’t there anymore.

She and my dad were miserable but my dad wouldn’t agree to divorce. He was a minister at a big church and didn’t believe divorce was right and so instead he tried to stay married to my mom, all while avoiding her and all the unhappiness at home.

She never really left her bedroom. She was miserable and she made everyone else miserable, too. She was horrible to me in those last few years. We had been really close before that.

She started moving stuff out of the house little by little when no one was home. Like, one day a bookshelf would be gone. And we’d all notice but just kind of go on with our lives.

And it bothers me very very much, but her moving out was so abrupt and so ambiguous, that I don’t remember specifics about it. Like I don’t know if it was during the school year or over summer – I don’t know where I was or what was different when I came home that day – but at some point, she didn’t live there anymore.

I was 14.

My dad told me that God told him she would never come back. I looked up to my dad a lot – he was kind-of on the same level as God in my mind – so I believed him. He soon after started dating another woman – secretly because the church didn’t know he was divorced yet. He intended to marry her as soon as possible.

I remember I had to pose for “family photos” with this new woman and her 2 kids. They were printed up and put into a frame and hung over our fireplace.

Then one day, my mom came to the house. She told me she had made the biggest mistake of her life, that she loved me, and my brother and my dad, and she wanted to work everything out.

I guess God was wrong when he spoke to my dad…

Then she walked out of my room and saw the new family portrait over the fireplace. She left quickly.

A few days later, she called the house, my dad answered, and she told him to “tell the kids I said goodbye.” Then she hung up. We started calling everyone we could think to call. We tried to call the phone operator, asking if they could trace the call. (this was 1995 so no caller ID or cell phone with a callback number)

A bit later that night, my new step-mom-to-be came over and pulled my dad aside. She saw a car at the end of our neighborhood that looked like my moms. My dad called 911. Everyone showed up. My mom had taken a BUCKET of pills. She was barely alive. They took her to the Er and pumped her stomach and intubated her. They told my dad to call my brother so he could come say his goodbyes too.

I was let into the room for a while. I looked at the machines and they were plugged into the wall and I stared for a long time thinking I should unplug it because she really didn’t want to be revived and I couldn’t understand why we were doing all of this. But then a nurse came in and said I had to leave while they did stuff.

My mom survived. My dad married the other lady. I think this messed me up and I honestly can’t believe Ive typed up this entire recollection. I don’t think about it very often and maybe that’s why I can’t remember the details of the day I realized she’d moved out.

TL:DR dont move out and leave your family without so much as a note, and don’t tell people God told you stuff.

#10. Grabbed a hat and walked out.

I grew up in a very abusive strict home. My step father beat both my sisters and then when they left I was next. Anyways one night he made me walk home from the mall because he wouldn’t give me a ride. I called and asked around five and he said you better have your ass home at five. I walked the eight miles and was pretty wiped out when I was coming up the driveway. We had a big front window and I saw him sitting in his chair drinking whiskey waiting for me. When I walked in he said something and I replied you won’t do shit. The next thing I knew he had me pinned to the wall and punched me in the face until I was knocked out. When I woke up I remember feeling the blood from my nose and my mother was standing there and told me I was a disgrace to go clean my face off. I went upstairs and grabbed a hat and walked out and never went back. I was 14 years old at the time. Edit: Gold! Thank you kind strangers!

#9. She called me the wrong name.

My grandmother did. Just left her husband and three kids, the eldest in elementary school.

My grandfather made it through. He worked at my great-grandfathers business and went on to own it. He also remarried a few years later.

About 25ish years after she left, she contact my dad wanting to meet her grandkids (my older brother and me) and reconnect. I was around two, my brother 5ish. My brother called her by her. This was upsetting to her and she left.

15 years pass and once again, she wants to be in our life. This time we go to her. I was excited to meet her, as my grandfathers wife hated her step kids, and thus her step-grandkids. So my teenage self set up a false reality. One bug happy family. Reality was, she had a whole different family she was happy with. A granddaughter who she loved dearly and made quilts with. She called me the wrong name the whole time we were there, even when corrected. She had a cute house with family pictures all over – none of us of course. It’s like she forgot all about her other three kids.

She’s just some lady to me. I only know her first name honestly. And I know that I never want to be like her. Edit to say because it did just end: it’s been about 10 years since we last saw her.

My dad… he hides it. His life growing up was not great as a result. He’s angry about it, but pretends not to be. But my dad had never, ever not been there for me. He’s honestly sometimes too much there for me.

#8. I never got to go back to my bedroom again.

I was ten years old when my mom and dad split up. We had been expecting it, but I didn’t know that my mom had packed up suitcases for herself, my sister, and I. One day we went to school like everything was normal, and went to my mom’s parents after school. It wasn’t unusual for us to have dinner there. But then mom sat us down and told us we’d be staying there for a while.

Ended up being six years before we got our own place. I never got to go back to my bedroom again. My dad got remarried and his wife’s daughter moved in and repainted my room. When I had to visit them I slept on the couch while she slept in my room.

Edit: I clearly do not check reddit enough. Thank you for all the love and support everyone is showing to everyone! And thank you for the silver kind strangers ?

#7. I was told he didn’t even notice.

When I was 16, I moved out without telling my stepdad, but my mom was in on it. And I just moved in with my grandparents. I left on a Friday. Got all my stuff in just two trips. I was told he didn’t even notice I was gone the first weekend. He was pretty mad once he figured it out, but it was all mostly a non-event. Everything turned out okay for me. It will have been 21 years, this September.

#6. Go ahead and leave.

My ex-husband was extremely physically and emotionally abusive, as well as an alcoholic/addict. He obsessively controlled the money and every second of my daily routine; an unplanned five minute delay to get gas on the way home would result in a dressing down (if I was lucky, a beating if I wasn’t). We had three daughters, and on the few occasions I threatened to leave, he’d tell me to go ahead and leave, but I couldn’t take our daughters with me.

At one of our couple-friends’ wedding reception, he got drunk as per usual and lost his mind over something insignificant, dragged me around in the street by my hair, and pulled a gun on me (in front of the wedding party). One of his friends – who was a real POS – took me aside while the groom’s mom was driving my ex home, and told me “you don’t have to live like this.” It was like a light went on in my mind – THIS GUY says I don’t have to live like this?!?

It took me a couple of weeks to put a plan in place, but one morning after my ex left for work my dad helped me pack everything that would fit in a uhaul, and I gtfo.

I’d like to say I never saw him again after that day, but I was pretty lucky he decided to leave me alone after an initial period of stalking and a bout in jail for violating an order of protection. Fast forward 15 years, and I finished undergrad, law school, and post-doc. I’m remarried with two more amazing kids, and life is pretty much goals.

EDIT: I forgot to mention the kids! I did take them with me – that was why I left the way I did, since I knew he wouldn’t let me leave with them otherwise. Unfortunately, it’s not been all sunshine and rainbows since, although we had some pretty wonderful times over the years. My ex passed on to the girls a genetic predisposition to serious mental illness, and I lost one daughter to suicide when she was 14. We all were (and are) pretty traumatized, but we cope the best we can and try to appreciate all the other wonderful things life has brought us.

EDIT 2: Thanks for the gold, and for the positive comments. All this isn’t something I talk about much in my d2d. It’s been years, but a lot of it is still fresh, and it’s occasionally cathartic to open up to strangers.

#5. She just couldn’t handle it.

Half answer.

My dad died when I was pretty young. My mom eventually remarried to a pretty cool guy when I was young. He was honestly an amazing dad, and when my mom got sick when I was a 12, he was absolutely incredible- taking care of everyone, and reaffirming that I was his son. When my mum died, it was just me and him for a few years – and there were some amazing times. He made sure I was seeing a counsellor, and we did family things on the weekend. My friends used to joke that he wasn’t even my biological dad and he still made more time for me, and did more things for me than their bio dad’s did.

When I was 15, he got remarried. I didn’t exactly like my new step mom, but I didn’t hate her. I think I just thought that the relationship wouldn’t last and he’d move on to someone better. Then they got married and it was kinda weird. I did get an amazing baby brother from that – not all bad.

My dad died when I was 17. Literally taken out by an undiagnosed severe allergy. My step-mom got me from school and drove me to the hospital, and when my dad passed away, she handed me my baby brother and said she needed a minute by herself. I never saw her again.

She was much younger than my dad, and was an ex-foster are kid with no family or best friends to support her – and I think she looked at her newborn baby and the kid her dead husband inherited and just couldn’t handle it. I sure know I wasn’t prepared to handle it – but my mom and my (biological) dad had been ex-foster care kids and mom told me a few fucked stories so I wasn’t going to let that happen to me or my brother. I do sometimes feel a little resentful that I can’t have the normal life – I’m working too much, and I have a six year old to figure out, to consider college but I don’t want my family to just be cycles of poverty and dead-end jobs.

**Edit: Wow guys! I’m touched by the response. I have full custody – my step-dad adopted me when my Mom died so for all intents and purposes, my brother is legally my brother. Afraid I can’t give too many details – I want to adopt him and there’s a court case or two that I don’t wanna compromise just in case – movies have told me that anyway!

Step-mom will probably be charged with abandonment when she can be located – but so far we haven’t heard anything. I’ve always been worried that she had a mental health break and either killed herself (I used to call up locally and ask for Jane Doe’s that fit her – hey coping mechanisms amirite?) or she’s had a mental health break and something snapped. Abandonment didn’t really fit what I knew of her – and I remember that she had some kind of mental health problems – it’s not like we talked about it though. She could have gone off her meds in the chaos and snapped. I’m more worried than angry – but my first concern will always be for my favourite little tyke.

We’re doing pretty well – we have a support worker who has been fantastic, helping us get access to free and reduced cost services. I’m also pretty thrifty – I youtube’d how to knit socks and fix clothing and thrift stores are great. I don’t live near a major city, and so it’s not as expensive as it could have been. Being frugal also helps.

There’s usually always good stuff out there if you know how to ask for help – and my dad always told me the hardest thing but the most important thing to do was to suck up your pride and ask for help. I’m getting better about that, but it’s hard. My dad making me do therapy helped a bunch to admit when I need help – he said that needing help wasn’t about not being capable, but about being smart. That if you’re carrying an expensive tv you could carry it by yourself but you’re smarter if you grab a friend.

I’m almost finished an apprenticeship right now – and I’m in a Union that’s decent enough that wives used to drop off casseroles and leave cribs and stuff on our porch. Everyone should be involved in their community. I wouldn’t have survived without everyone willing to go to bat for me.

I’m working pretty hard because I’m incredibly fortunate that I met good people along the way. I owe them a lot. I also work part time at a nursery helping with plants and stuff on weekends for the staff discount and free stuff. I taken home more than a few half-dead fruit trees and vegetable seedlings. The more I work, the more I can throw into savings. It’s morbid but I want to make sure if I die, he’s not frantically worrying about paying for that. It’s – not exactly a good feeling.

My bro and I have been working on expanding our tiny garden to try and off set the cost of food and he seems to like gardening just as much as my dad did. Last year we didn’t buy a single potato or any herbs. It’s been the best low-cost high-involved activity we’re doing – and it sometimes makes me feel less guilty that I can’t be there more for him like our dad was for me.

We have glass pasta jars and tin cans growing basil and rosemary right now – I told my bro if he can keep them alive all year without me needing to intervene, we can look at adopting chickens. He specifically wants two chickens named ChicKEN and ChicBARBIE because he’s funnier than I am.

I’m working a bunch now because I want him to be in a better position in the future – my dad left a small, but decent amount in a trust – and I pulled from it when I first got custody when I was scrambling to afford everything. I want to replace everything I took, and also make sure he can afford to do the things that I couldn’t when growing up. When he’s in high school and wants to celebrate by going to Mexico, then he’s going to Mexico.

I do miss the stuff I can’t do – I’ve never not had responsibilities. I’m still friends with people from school, and they’re doing cross-country adventures and dropping money on expensive stuff. It’s such a weird idea that they can just go to music festivals without worrying about anything while I’m trying to find a detergent that doesn’t set the bro’s eczema off. Wouldn’t trade him for the world though.

We have saving accounts and insurance policies and I’m probably better off than a lot of people. The comments have been incredible with people offering help from everywhere – I needed that help when I was 17 and scared out of my absolute mind.

I’m almost 24 now and I’m stable – but paranoid and weird for sure. If you’d like to donate, please direct them to local organisations fighting the good fight. The difficult part of the story is basically over – until he hits teenaged years probably. God knows how I’m going to handle that. That’s a problem for future me. I don’t need that kind of help anymore, and I’m moving into the phase of life where I just want to give back to people that have helped me, by passing it on. I joined reddit because I saw that post that said “Today you, tomorrow me” – that’s my philosophy in life.

There are a lot of people out there like me, and they deserve to be able to grow garlic in old jam jams with their family just as much as I did.**

#4. Mom never came looking for me.

Didnt leave my wife and kids as I dont have any but i did walk out on my mother and siblings without any notice. Dad was not in the picture.

After? Best decision of my life. My mother refuses treatment for her very serious mental illness or illnesses and was incredibly abusive physically as well and neglectful while i was growing up. I saw the affect it had burn out older siblings with no motive or drive and instead embraced the crazy just to feel sane in the toxic family home we lived in.

I was homeless for about a year and a half living out of a duffel and bumming food from friends. I feel like my life hasent even started until i left it behind. I feel like it held me back for 17 years and i now am finally being able to find out who i am.

Mom never came looking for me, i reconnected with my estranged father, whome i learned was in the military from the moment he was 18 until he was HD at 43. He has severe PTSD from his 3 tours in Iraq and afghanastan. He’s now getting his Masters in outdoors leadership which i believe is a perfect way to use his massive skill set. I dont see him much if ever but at least i know some blood is still thicker than water

#3. Until he got back.

For us it was that he went out for milk. Dad told me as the eldest surviving kid I was “The man of the house” until he got back, so it was my obligation to help/defend/take care of them for him until he came back. He never came back.

#2. He ghosted 4 families.

my real dad ghosted like 4 families. his first family, he had a son. he was in that family for 13 years, his son had a motorcycle wreck and ended up in intensive care. a year later he ghosted that family and moved to a new state. just up and left, didnt take anything but his clothes and his car.

second family, he had a daughter. he left almost immediately.

then he moved to another state, and married another woman, and had two more kids whom ive never met or spoken to. dont even know their names tbh. jake? john? jordan? josh? something with a j. he went out for a pack of smokes and never went back(his own words)

then he met my mom, and had my sister first. he ghosted my mom 3.2 years later, then showed up for some quick whoopie, and i happened. he ghosted her, but didnt leave the state. she called the cops and my first memory is of the cops bringing my dad to the house in cuffs and letting him go, only for him to attack my mom while she was holding me and she dropped me. then the cops arrested him. he wanted out, he got out.

he had 2 more marriages, but no kids. its his MO to shack up with well off women and mooch until they either kick him out or he gets bored.

its really fucking painful to see, because i want to be an asswiping dad whose there for his kids every fucking second of their lives. i want to be the exact opposite of him.

#1. I left a terrible human.

This is my throw away.

Got married right out of high school, everything was going well but we were young and both were our first partners. Came home early one day and walked in on my wife with another man. Standard insanity ensued, followed by her begging for forgiveness and we went to months of counseling. Everything seemed well and dandy, she seemed like a totally different woman and couldn’t live with out me.​

One day I log into our desktop PC and her Facebook is loaded and there are multiple messages and I had to look. I found exactly what I knew I would find. It crushed me but I acted like nothing happened. That weekend I packed up my favorite clothes and belongings that meant a lot to me and snuck them to the car. Sunday evening I said “Hey I’m going to take the dogs to the dog park and hike for a few hours”. When I left, I texted our neighbor to see if anyone showed up at the house. She replied pretty quickly that a male visitor was by very quickly, I told her goodbye and the dogs and I just drove. I had a decent savings and thought “Fuck it, start off somewhere new” and that is what I did​

My ex wife didn’t even try and contact me until around lunch time the next day. When I didn’t respond, she blew me up with photos and videos of her with multiple men and about how bad of a lover I was. It fucked me up but I just kept trucking. I ended up in a smaller town where I saw someone was hiring for my trade. Years later, I re-married to the best human ever.

I went home not long ago and my Mom posted a picture of us at a gathering. My ex hit up my facebook and asked if we could meet for a cup of coffee she would like some closure (I obviously would like as well). I have to say, for all the resentment and hatred I had toward this woman, our conversation was pleasant and I felt better after we talked. She understood why I left, she apologized deeply, many times and didn’t try to blame me for anything.

After an hour and a little bit of tears (awkward as hell in public hahaha) she asked if it was okay to get a hug. We hugged and said our goodbyes. Once I got home I told my wife about the visit and she got awkward for a few minutes. She left the room and I didn’t follow, I thought “oh I’m sleeping on the couch tonight”. Five minutes later, she came back crying and just gave me the biggest hug ever, she told me she forgot what I went through and she was sorry and glad our life is good.

Closing, I left a terrible human for the best human ever.

I don’t know if I could do it!

The post People Who “Ran to the Store” and Never Went Home Share Their Stories appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Take a Look at This Village Designed Specifically for Patients with Severe Dementia

To see someone struggling with dementia is a grueling experience. That’s why places like HammondCare in Cardiff, New South Wales, Australia, are so important and groundbreaking.

The facility that recently opened in Cardiff was designed specifically for patients suffering from severe dementia. It’s laid out like an actual village, complete with houses and shops, and can accommodate 99 residents. The HammondCare village in Cardiff is based on similar villages in Europe, where dementia patients have been found to have a much better quality of life.

HammondCare will be opening a new dementia specific village at Cardiff this August. We are looking to recruit up to 150…

Posted by HammondCare on Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Angela Raguz of Hammond Residential Care says, “There is a growing body of evidence that people living in functioning homes have better outcomes for quality of life, they are less likely to be transferred to hospital inappropriately, and are less likely to have the wrong medications being given.”

Raguz adds, “For people with dementia, it is really important to give them a continuing sense of things they are familiar with. The idea of the built environment is that we design environments that enable a person to see or sense where they would like to go.”

The residents are allowed to live freely, and nurses are on staff 24 hours a day. According to Raguz, it allows patients to have their independence while having on-hand care if needed. Patients have their own small homes with kitchens and living areas, and outside they can visit shops, small parks, and even a hairdresser.

And while it seems like this kind of service would only be reserved for the wealthy, “No one, regardless of their financial circumstances, is excluded from being able to access this type of care. If you don’t have money, it’s not a reason not to call, or to come and have a look. The care is provided to all equally.”

Yesterday, HammondCare welcomed visitors to the Cardiff Open Day. Visitors had the opportunity to explore our…

Posted by HammondCare on Thursday, August 8, 2019

Amen to that. This is a great idea.

The post Take a Look at This Village Designed Specifically for Patients with Severe Dementia appeared first on UberFacts.