Staying at Home With Children Is More Stressful Than Going to Work

Parents who stay at home are often pretty misunderstood. While many people assume they sit around relaxing at home all day, the reality is it’s a 24-hour job that is exhausting. Between caregiving and household management, the work seemingly never ends. One new survey found that, for many people, staying at home is more stressful for parents than going to work.

The Aveeno Baby survey, conducted in the U.K., asked 1500 mothers and fathers about their experiences as working or stay-at-home parents.

The survey found that a significant percentage of parents (31%) feel that staying at home with the kids is more stressful than going to work, rather than the other way around.

Photo Credit: iStock

“Becoming a parent is an amazing experience, but we understand that entering this new chapter of life can also bring with it a great deal of stress and worry, so we wanted to discover more about what new parents experience in the first few years, what they wish they had known and how best we can support them,” Aveeno Baby skin expert Rebecca Bennett told The Sun.

“From what you put in your baby’s mouth to what you put on their skin, every small decision becomes much bigger and you worry you might not be making the right choice, or are being judged by others.”

Regardless of whether you work or stay at home, having a baby is HARD, the survey found. 39% of parents reported constant exhaustion while 55% believed that having a baby is hard work even with a strong support system.

In the age of social media, many parents also reported that parenting apps make it harder for them to feel like good parents due to the constant comparisons to others.

Photo Credit: iStock

The lesson? Never assume another parent has it easier than you!

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People Share the Secret Battles They Are Currently Fighting in Life

People say that everyone out there is fighting a secret battle. It could be health-related, it could be depression, sadness, rage, money troubles, love troubles, etc. The point is that everyone is dealing with something.

AskReddit users shared the private battles they are currently enduring.

Remember to be kind to everyone and help people out whenever you can. You never know what people are going through.

1. Terrible.

“My mother has weeks or months left… Doctors aren’t optimistic, but this is indeed my last holiday with her.”

2. Still haunted.

“My mom died unexpectedly in December of 2011.

I am haunted by all the ‘what ifs’, ‘should haves’, and ‘never agains’.”

3. Torn apart.

“Honestly….depression. Cancer has literally torn my family apart. I lost my biological father, my stepfather, 2 aunts and numerous cousins to it. My daughter doesn’t have it but she stays sick, a lot.”

4. Hang in there!

“Diagnosed with 2 different types of cancer this year. And surgery, radiation. Starting to recover and figuring out what life will be like from here on out as I turn 40 in 3 months.”

5. A dark abyss.

“Trying to continue life with my daughter gone. I miss her so much every day. I’m fighting the guilt that’s constantly eating me alive because I didn’t protect her. I should’ve been more watchful but I failed my sweet baby. Life is nothing but a dark abyss without her and I’m not sure I’ll ever see light again.”

6. Staying clean.

“Going through methadone treatment while my two brothers are still using drugs. I’m clean now but it’s still a tough battle, especially because we live together.

I appreciate all the support and kind words reddit peeps. I’m in the middle of tapering down already, 30 mg left, and if anyone is facing a similar struggle just know YOU CAN DO IT! You’re the master of your own destiny.”

7. My psychosis.

“Psychosis. I’m under immense pressure to try and seem normal, to laugh like I’m normal and react and talk and socialize like I’m normal. But it’s hard when I’m hearing and feeling things that aren’t real, or when I believe things that make other people get weirded out. I feel like I’m at constant war with my head and I want so hard to just seem well-adjusted, and to not be fucking annoying all the damn time.”

8. Looking for a job is demoralizing.

“Currently dealing with unemployment and trying to stay positive in the sea of rejection letters. Luckily, I have an interview coming up but that is stressing me out because I don’t what I’m going to do if that doesn’t go well.”

9. Still grieving.

“It’s been a while since my husband died and no one talks about him anymore, it’s as though he never existed but I still grieve for him every single day.”

10. Exhausted.

“I just wish I existed outside of my own fucking head. Attempts at reaching out met with indifference feels like contempt after so long. .

3 people I love have died in the last year. I feel so fucking alone.

Nobody is having an easy time and I can barely think of anything positive, and when I do and share it, indifference is what I’m met with.

It’s exhausting. I don’t want to do this anymore for no reason.”

11. Reality.

“I have a baby with serious health issues who will likely have disabilities.

There are a lot of other things along with that situation.

Sprinkle in my own anxiety disorder / depression… Struggling mightily with life right now.

I don’t see it getting better. This is my new reality.”

12. A shell of my former self.

“Depression, Anxiety, PTSD.

Car accident at 16 left me clinically dead and in a coma. Massive anxiety from that along with PTSD.

Last year I lost my S/O because of a drunk driver.

I have horrific nightmares about both incidents. I’m a shell of my former self.”

13. This is sad.

“I want to kill myself, but I’m the only person who gives a crap about and helps my disabled friend in another state who is routinely abused and taken advantage of.

I mean, I guess I also don’t want to hurt my parents, but they should have thought ahead before reproducing when they knew how fucked-up their heads were. But my friend never asked for a neurological disorder. She doesn’t deserve to suffer alone.”

14. He doesn’t need to know.

“My kid is dying. Incurable, fatal disease. My wife and I decided to tell no one, not even family, because at that point our little boy will find out, and why does he need to know? He just needs to be a little boy and enjoy the life he has.”

15. Heartbroken.

“The girl i thought i was gonna marry broke up with me. I’ve been going through a faith crisis which has always been huge for me. I just feel so broken and lonely…”

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This Man Turns Discarded Christmas Trees Into Canes for Veterans

You always see a ton of discarded Christmas trees dragged out onto driveways to be hauled off by garbage trucks after the holidays. I’ve never really thought about what comes next for this near-endless supply of trees, but I suppose they just decompose in the dump, releasing CO2 back into the atmosphere.

Great.

That’s not what happens to (some of) the trees in Copperas Cove, Texas, however. One local man has found a creative and important use for some of these old trees.

Jamie Willis is an Army veteran, and he’s asking people to send their old Christmas trees his way because he turns the trees into canes for fellow veterans who need mobility aids – and for other folks who require canes as well.

I'm happy you like the cane. Thanks for sharing your picture brother.

Posted by Canes For Veterans Central Texas on Thursday, March 30, 2017

Willis’ cause is called Canes for Veterans Central Texas and he’s made about 200 canes so far. Willis said, “The whole process, it’s just done off donations. I make the canes myself. Everything’s done out of pocket.”

This is the second year that Jamie Willis has reached out for tree donations, and he has been overwhelmed with this year’s response. He said, “It’s been an outpouring of donations this year, more than I ever thought I would get. Home Depot flooded me with trees, they’re sending me 400, and the rest of the community will be giving me about another 100 trees.”

Posted by Canes For Veterans Central Texas on Saturday, January 4, 2020

Willis said he usually takes an entire day to make one cane. He got the idea to start making his own because the one he was given by Veterans Affairs kept collapsing on him, and he didn’t trust it. So he reached out to an organization in Florida called Free Canes for Veterans.

The man behind that organization, Army veteran Oscar Morris, told Willis they didn’t have any more canes and instead taught Willis how to make his own. Willis then asked if he could branch off of that organization and start his own canes-for-veterans nonprofit in Texas, and Morris gave him his blessing.

Mr. Paul Miles and cane #209 standing tall. Another veteran brother who I met while at a local tire shop. And after talking with him we were honored to make him a cane. Much love and respect go out to you sir.

Posted by Canes For Veterans Central Texas on Thursday, August 8, 2019

Morris said that Jamie Willis is the fifth veteran to start their own branch of Free Canes for Veterans. Great work by all!

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America’s Oldest World War II Veteran Has Celebrated His 110th Birthday

The men who served in World War II are a dying breed – in fact, most of them have already passed on from this plane of existence to the next (where hopefully they will not be asked to save the world by enacting great mental and physical trauma on themselves).

They’re not all gone, though. One of those great, brave men just celebrated his 110th birthday.

Lawrence Brooks of New Orleans, Louisiana was born on September 12th, 1909, and had his most recent birthday celebration at the National World War II Museum in his hometown.

During the war, Brooks served in a primarily African-American unit in the army, the 91st Engineer Battalion, with which he was stationed in New Guinea before heading to the Philippines. He was active between 1940 and 1945, exiting duty as a Private 1st Class.

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Today, we had the honor of celebrating Lawrence Brooks 110th year around the sun! He is the nation’s oldest living WWII veteran, and we are proud that he lives right in our home base of New Orleans! The Belles have been privileged to sing happy birthday to Lawrence for the past five years at the museum. We are thankful that Lawrence enjoys our continuous serenades to him each year. If only we had enough lipstick to give him 110 kisses… ???❤ . . . . ?: Chris Granger Photography #LawrenceBrooks #110Years #110thBirthday #WWIIVet #WWIIVeteran #VictoryBelles #WWIIMuseum #WWII #Kisses #LipstickVictims #Smooch #Lipstick #RedLips #Birthday #HappyBirthday #NewOrleans #Louisiana #NationalWWIIMuseum #WorldWar2 #WorldWarII #Army #ArmyVet #VintageLadies #1940s #1940sHair #1940sMakeUp #1940sLook

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The National World War II Museum in New Orleans has hosted Brooks’ last five parties, loves doing it, and hopes to be asked to help celebrate for a few years yet to come.

“We absolutely love Mr. Brooks,” said a spokesperson for the museum. “We’ve told him, ‘As long as you keep having birthdays, we are going to keep having birthday parties for you here.’ We consider him ‘our’ veteran.”

Though Brooks is definitely getting long in the tooth – he has poor vision and low blood pressure and requires a walker to get around – he’s thankful to have good hearing and to never have been faced with any serious diagnoses in his long life.

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Happy belated birthday to #lawrencebrooks ??? #moorinfo

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“I’ve started to think about not having many birthdays left. But I’m not worried about it, because God has let me live this long already. I think it’s because I’ve always liked people so much. Oh, yes, I do.”

It’s safe to say that plenty of people like him right back – including me, now that I’ve leaned a bit most about him.

Brooks takes over the title of oldest living WWII veteran from Mr. Richard Overton, who passed away in 2018 at the age of 112.

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Illinois Sold More Than $3 Million Worth of Marijuana on the First Day of Legalization

As a former Chicagoan, all I can say is…why the hell didn’t this happen when I lived in Illinois? I know, I know, things are moving along and more and more places are legalizing marijuana, but it sure would’ve been nice…

And now I live in North Carolina, and I really don’t think legalization is coming anywhere near this state anytime soon…

The Cannabis Joint

But back to the story. Though it was passed into law in 2019, it became officially legal to purchase marijuana for recreational use in Illinois on January 1, 2020.

And apparently, people were pretty fired up about it (who could have expected?).

On January 1st, the first day of legal sales, the state sold nearly $3.2 million of weed. The exact numbers were 77,128 transactions totaling $3,176,256.71. Not bad for a one-day haul, huh?

If you’re curious, the state hasn’t yet released figures for how much tax revenue that will work out to.

Toi Hutchinson, senior advisor to the governor for cannabis control, said:

“As we start a new decade, Illinois has achieved a monumental milestone, launching the legalization of cannabis in a way that includes communities left behind for far too long, creates good jobs and expunges thousands of records for those who have lost out on opportunities and ends prohibition.”

Illinois became the eleventh U.S. state to legalize weed, joining Alaska, California, Colorado, Massachusetts, Maine, Michigan, Nevada, Oregon, Vermont, Washington and the District of Columbia.

Weed

You have to be 21 years old and have a government-issued ID to buy weed in Illinois. Non-residents of the state can also buy marijuana but in smaller quantities. And keep in mind that all purchases must be made in cash, because cash is king baby!

And also because weed is still illegal at the federal level, and banks are wary about working with an industry that is both illegal and legal at the same time.

Time for a road trip?

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A New Law in Wisconsin Punishes Parents in Bullying Cases

From cities to workplaces to schools and other educational institutions, leaders are looking for better ways to punish bullies. There are initiatives from the White House all the way down to small communities, but on a big scale, nothing really seems to be moving the needle.

So Shawano, Wisconsin, is trying something new – they’re going to make the parents of minor bullies culpable by law, and see if that makes a difference.

 

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The law applies to online and in-person bullying, and it includes a grace period after the first infraction is met with a warning. The idea is that once parents are aware of the situation, they should have an opportunity (a 90-day period) to deal with the situation themselves before further action is taken.

If the child does not improve after the 90 days and gets caught bullying again, the parents will be fined $366.

Another infraction results in a second fine of $681.

 

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Not chump change, especially for families who aren’t well-off to begin with.

Police are hoping that the new law can help them combat both bullying and cyberbullying in the area, says Police Chief Mark Kohl.

“We feel without getting the parent involved, just giving a ticket of fining someone out of this isn’t the answer. This isn’t generated toward the kids being kids, some playground banter. This is the person that is meticulously using social media or saying things that are vulgar in an attempt to hurt, discredit, and really demean a person.”

I’m waiting for follow-up statistics on how this ends up working before making any final judgements on the idea itself, but I applaud their out of the box thinking – and their attempt to get the parents involved in combatting an issue that typically starts at home.

What do you think?

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A 62-Year-Old Man Is Currently 38 Years Into a Life Sentence He Received After Stealing $9

A man’s story of spending 38 years in prison is the perfect illustration of just how unfair the U.S. criminal justice system can be sometimes.

Willie Simmons of Enterprise, Alabama, was sentenced to life without parole in 1982 — for stealing $9. He had three prior convictions at the time, so he was prosecuted under Alabama’s Habitual Offender Act, passed in 1977 to crack down on repeat criminals. The prison population has skyrocketed by 840 percent since that law was passed, from 3,455 to over 30,000 prisoners.

Willie was only 25 at the time of his life-changing arrest. Why did he take the money? He was high on drugs and “trying to get me a quick fix.” His trial lasted all of 25 minutes, with no witnesses called and no plea deal offered.

He’s now at Holman, one of the most notoriously violent prisons in the country. Incredibly, he got sober 18 years ago, despite the prison being absolutely filled with drugs and drug use.

Investigative journalist Beth Shelburne shared Willie’s story on Twitter recently.

“Mr. Simmons was 25 when the state said he should die in prison,” Beth wrote. “Today he’s 62. When I asked his age he paused &  laughed. ‘Been so long since somebody asked me that,’ he said. He hasn’t had a visitor since 2005 after his sister died. ‘Haven’t heard from nobody since then.’”

Beth added that Willie is studying for his GED. He “tries to stay away from the wild bunch,” he says. He hasn’t gotten a disciplinary citation in 10 years.

“My hope is to get out of here, settle down with a woman and do God’s will,” he told Beth. “I’d like to tell people about how bad drugs are.”

But after filing appeal after appeal, Willie still has no end in sight. With no lawyer, every one of his appeals has been denied. And in 2014, Beth says, lawmakers removed the last avenue of appeal for “habitual offenders” like Willie. Still, he says: “I ain’t giving up.”

Beth shared the story to demonstrate why Alabama’s habitual offender law “needs to go.”

What do you think? Does it need to go?

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Mansplaining Convention Is Selling $2,000 Tickets to Help ‘Make Women Great Again’

As if things weren’t ridiculous enough in the world, there is now a Mansplaining Convention set to take place in May 2020. Tickets are only being sold to women, who will get to enjoy watching a panel full of men explaining things to them. Sounds fun, right?!

The event is officially called the 22 Convention, and it’s “destined to be the mansplaining event of the century,” according to organizers. The organizers. Do they not know mansplaining is bad?

It will be a three-day-long event in Orlando, Florida. The goal? To “make women great again.”

Oh, and tickets to this convention cost $1,999. Cue eternal screaming.

The 22 Convention comes from the same “Orlando-based bros” who host the 21 Convention to actualize the “ideal man,” according to Orlando Weekly.

“Women today are being taught to act more like men,” the 22 Convention website says. “Where has that led us? Skyrocketing rates of divorce, depression, dysfunction, and America at the #1 spot in the world for single motherhood.”

But no more, thanks to these mansplaining heroes!

“No longer will you have to give in to toxic bullying feminist dogma and go against your biological nature,” the website says.

At the convention, women will learn about all those horrible topics that have poisoned their brains, such as: feminism, infertility, body positivity, overconfidence, and more.

The website also explains that feminism is “hiding under a mask of fake progress.”

“At The 22 Convention, you will learn the truth that unhealthy militant feminists have been hiding from you your entire lives,” the website says.

In place of feminism, the mansplainers will teach women how to regain their “femininity” and learn to be the “ideal wife.”

There’s also a note on the homepage that says, “Regular ticketing is only available for natural born women.”

This sounds like absolute torture.

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For the First Time, a Woman Has Earned a Four-Year College Football Scholarship

Progress comes in fits and starts. We take two steps forward, one back, some more back, a few forward, eventually pushing new boundaries and into new territories.

One point to progress: a woman has finally managed to win a full, four-year scholarship to college based on her football skills.

American football, to be clear. The kind where you have to use your hands and people running full-force into you is part of the game.

Meet Antoinette “Toni” Harris, a free safety on a full scholarship to Central Methodist University.

She says that she always adored football as a kid, and even though she enjoyed both cheerleader and track, she kept coming back to her first love.

Toni says she watched her cousins play before deciding to take the leap herself, and had a big job winning over her teammates – and others – to her cause.

“But once they [were won over], they were loving, they were supportive – and eventually everyone else got on board.”

And she needed that love and support because at 18, Harris stared down a diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Her battle with the disease ended with a win, but one that came with a cost – half her body weight and a struggle to get back into playing condition.

She persevered though, and finished out high school as homecoming queen and a force on the field. She learned to accept (and use to her advantage) her smaller size. Harris then enrolled at Golden West College and played there as a free safety for two years.

“At the end of the day, I told myself, ‘I cannot allow myself to live in fear. You don’t really live if you live in fear.’”

After two years at Golden West, she ended up with dozens of scholarship offers to continue playing football in college. She accepted a full ride from Central Methodist University, a four-year institution, and made history in doing so.

Now, at 22, Harris is happy, healthy, and dreams of playing in the NFL, though she’s got a backup plan, too: she’d also like to be a “homicide detective with a background in forensics.”

I’d say she can and will do just about anything she puts her mind to – how could anyone argue otherwise?

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15 Downsides of Smoking Marijuana That People Don’t Talk About Enough

As legalization sweeps the country, weed is becoming more acceptable. Smoking weed after work is basically the new version of having a glass of wine. But surely there are some potential downsides to weed, and one AskReddit thread had people chatting all about it. Here are 15 downsides of weed that people don’t talk about, courtesy of Redditors.

1. Lack of appetite.

“Not having an appetite if you’re not high. You have to smoke heavily though to get to that point.”

2. All thought, no action.

“Been smoking everyday for the past decade and am recently realizing that being too introspective can be a negative thing at times – I’ve been thinking too much and acting too little.”

3. Cognitive issues.

“Both my roommates are heavy smokers, and they just… think so slowly. It takes them forever to understand anything. They also forget a lot of stuff, like they’ll step away from the dishes for a moment and then never finish them without prompting.”

4. A one-track mind.

“It can become your only personality trait.”

“Some of my peers’ only goal is when they are going to get their next high and like they are so stuck in the culture that they just become sort of boring and their personality lacks dimension.”

“I lost a significant chunk of my best friends in college because by senior year all they were focused on was weed.”

5. Loss of motivation.

“It is fine in moderation, but multiple times per day seems to suck the ambition from most people I’ve seen, including myself long ago.”

“I used to smoke every day multiple times a day and I can confirm: it made me useless and killed my motivation. It also contributed to me losing my job.”

“It makes you okay with being just okay.”

6. Anxiety or panic.

“Things that aren’t currently stressing you out may start to induce anxiety in you. While this isn’t always the case, weed has the potential to worsen your mental state if you aren’t careful. This impact became more pronounced when I smoked weed solo, having other people around allowed me to be more present in the moment, whereas I was in my head when I was alone.”

7. Poor conversational skills.

“I’ve noticed after the initial uptick in chatter- people tend to get really quiet, and zoned out in their own thoughts.

When I used to smoke it, I found it had a dulling effect on my personality and conversational skills after the fact, too.”

“Yeah I’d never tell any of my sweet lovely friends this in real life in case it hurt their feelings, but a couple of them are a lot less fun after they smoke weed.”

8. No more dreams at night.

“One thing that I never see brought up is the effect of marijuana on dreaming. Marijuana use can prevent the user from dreaming during regular sleep. When the user stops using Marijuana for a while, they can experience night after night of extremely vivid dreams. I can only speak for my own experience, but I have heard this echoed by a co-worker’s dad who started smoking again because he couldn’t handle “having acid-trip dreams every night”.

I suspect that marijuana has some potent effect on REM sleep that will remain under-documented until it is de-scheduled and more thorough research can be done.”

9. Vomiting.

“Cannabinoid hyperemesis and cyclic vomiting syndrome.”

“Yeah my ex had cyclic vomiting syndrome so bad, but he smoked weed to help him fight the nausea turns out it was making him worse off. Not a lot of people know about this one, where I’m from at least.”

“I started smoking regularly at night to assuage anxiety and kick start my appetite and eventually ended up developing this super fun condition. It’s absolutely awful. I thought I was pregnant and or dying.”

10. Dependency.

“Its not that its super addicting its just nothing is as fun as being high so you want to be high all the time.”

“As a pretty consistent weed smoker, I don’t like when people say that weed isn’t addicting. They’re right in saying that it’s not addictive chemically like nicotine or something, you can still get addicted to not being sober.”

“I’ve been a daily user for the last 15 (or more) years and my mind automatically starts to feel like I’m not relaxing if I haven’t smoked.”

11. A higher tolerance.

“The one most annoying thing with being a smoker is your tolerance level goes way up so even though you are smoking you arent getting that high you used to get, just a mind numbing insomnia almost.”

12. Triggering psychosis.

“It can trigger psychosis if you’re susceptible to it already.”

“I had a friend go through a mental break after smoking a lot. Had to be admitted and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (which ran in their family).”

NPR did a report about a study done in the UK, saying that heavy pot smokers are 3x more likely to have a psychotic episode than people who never smoked at all.”

13. Brain development.

“There is “moderate evidence” that acute marijuana use can impair learning, memory, and attention, leading to a reasonable argument that it shouldn’t be consumed by those under about 25 since the brain is still developing during that time.”

14. Money.

“If you use it regularly it can become super expensive.”

15. Disassociation.

“Cannabis induced disassociation. Can completely ruin your life.”

“I’ve had it (I think it materialized from my generalized anxiety disorder) but it was the scariest fucking thing when it first happened. You feel like you’re in a fog, and disconnected from everything. Took about 8 months for me to shake it.”

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