Category: lawyers

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Process Servers Break Down The Craziest Ways They’ve Ever Served Someone A Subpoena

It can be said that we live in a very “sue happy” society. It’s remarkably easy to engage in litigation against someone—it’s the American way!

But suppose you have a case (or think you do). You still need someone to serve the defendant the papers (it’s highly advised you don’t do that yourself, of course).

This is where process servers come in. They meet all sorts of people from all walks of life, as you can imagine.

They were keen to share their stories after Redditor CharlotteLucasOP asked the online community,

“Process servers, what’s the most bizarre way in which you’ve served someone?”

“When I got a divorce…”

“When I got a divorce, my lawyer recommended I hire a process server just in case my ex tried to dodge/deny service. She knew I was filing so it wasn’t like it would be a surprise, but better safe than sorry.”

“One problem: This was during a Covid lockdown, so neither of us was leaving home. The process server comes, I let him into the building, he follows me to the apartment but then says he can’t follow me into the apartment to serve her.”

“So I have to shut the door on him then wait for him to knock so that my ex can answer the door. Probably the most awkward five minutes of my life.” ~ gloveonafoot

“One guy really hated this other lady…”

“One guy really hated this other lady he was suing, and she kept avoiding the server so he paid me $300 to serve her on Christmas. He knew for sure she was home because she was having a party there in an hour.”

“He wrapped it up in this huge present. So I showed up at her door, and yelled ‘Christmas delivery!’ She thought it was some great present, and had this huge smile.”

“Once she opened the door, I told her she had been served, and it was like she got hit by a brick wall. She just silently took the giant present and walked back in her house with it.” ~ Selbereth

“I worked as a process server…”

“I worked as a process server for a couple of years during/after college. It was through a private investigation agency so it was a little more intense than the typical process server.”

“Anyways… one time I was hired to serve a stripper, and since we couldn’t find a valid address for her the PI had me go into her work and serve her there.”

“I didn’t want to cause a scene and get jumped by the bouncers so I purchased a private dance from her then served her in the back room. I even got reimbursed for the cost of the dance when I collected the paperwork.”

“All in all, it was a memorable experience!” ~ ggb123456

“When my mother was a Family Law attorney…”

“When my mother was a Family Law attorney and I was in college, I used to do some process serving for her.”

“She’d never give any that she felt would be dangerous, but In hindsight is probably another poor decision by my mother, and by me who just needed the money. It’s ridiculously easy to get an about-to-be divorced man to open his door to an 18-year-old girl.”

“I once made an appointment and got my nails done. Paid and gave a tip, and the papers to the same tech. She was pissed.” ~ coyotecantspell

“I am a paralegal.”

“I am a paralegal. I once had a client who was in her 70s and her husband had her served with divorce papers while she was recovering in the hospital from surgery. Brutal.” ~ BlackWidowww

“I watched my Little League coach…”

“I watched my little league coach get served by a guy selling hotdogs. He owed like $75,000 for destroying a garage he didn’t own behind his property.” ~ suitology

“They asked me to…”

“Many years ago I interned at a law firm when I was on summer break from college. They asked me to serve papers on occasion while I interned there.”

“Once I was sent to a nursing home to serve papers to one of the elderly patients. He seemed so pleasantly surprised to see me, to have a visitor. He looked so excited and curious.”

“Then I explained that I had some papers to serve him, and the expression on his face went from excitement to sadness in like two seconds. It was depressing.” ~ Kevbo_Kev

“The job could easily get to you…”

“I had the pleasure of serving some of my county’s finest for the better part of 3 years. The job could easily get to you if you let it. Got a bunch of stories though.”

“Mostly sad ones but there are some funny ones in there too. The craziest reaction, however, goes to Mr. Belisle. I believe I am missing an accent in there.”

“Long story short-ish, he has the papers, I start walking away, 20 steps, 30 steps, he yells after me, I turn…. he is pooping on his papers. This man was between 45-55 years of age, with quite a distinguished look. So weird to see him crapping in the street.” ~ CanuckPhuck

“Someone she was trying to serve…”

“My mother is a lawyer. Someone she was trying to serve wouldn’t acknowledge who they were to a process server nor would they touch the summons.”

“Took a few weeks before they finally could serve them. It’s quite funny how much legal procedure gets held up by the inability of a server to serve someone a document.” ~ WayPastInfatuation

“I spent years…”

“I spent years as a process server in Los Angeles. One time I served Rob Zombie in a dispute over a catering bill for a video shoot. He went bonkers.”

“Another time I served divorce papers on an 18th Street shot caller. I found him in a bar at Pico and Bonnie Brae. He cried like a baby and wanted to buy me a drink.”

“Another was a witness in a murder trial who was living in a homeless camp in Long Beach. I was surrounded by hardcore hostile homeless folks. I’m not sure how I got out of that in one piece.” ~ Babelaze

It’s hard out there for your friendly neighborhood process servers!

Something to remember—a process server is not your enemy.

Their presence implies nothing whatsoever about your moral character or legal standing. All they’re there to do is confirm your identity and deliver paperwork.

Wouldn’t you want to have adequate notice that you are party to a legal proceeding? You need time to plan and show up to participate.

It’s a good service process servers perform, though there’s no doubt they run into weirdos out there like the rest of us.

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Lawyers Break Down The Pettiest Reasons They’ve Ever Seen A Couple Divorce

It’s by now common knowledge a profoundly high amount of marriages end in divorce in the United States.

Bearing that upsetting news in mind, we’d like to think each of those relationships meet their end for a worthy reason, full of movie-like passion and the strong convictions of both partners.

But a recent Reddit thread squashed those lofty hopes.

To bring us all back down to earth, Redditor KarysMR asked:

“Lawyers of Reddit, what is the pettiest reason you’ve ever seen for divorce?”

Many lawyers interpreted “petty” to mean “mind-bogglingly trivial.”

“Definitely the fridge Story!! A woman filed for divorce because her husband would eat everything he can find in their fridge whenever the wife was out for work.”

“So she came back to a basically empty fridge each night.”

“He also cheated on her but she was less angry about that. The fridge was what pushed her to the point she wanted a divorce.” — wrenisanecklace

“the husband kept putting wet/used towel on their bed.” — automind

“Wife wanted divorce like 2 months into marriage because the husband would squeeze the toothpaste from the top and not bottom.”

“She claims to have told him a millions times over to stop. Would have been easier to get 2 toothpastes i thought.” — Infamous-Offer6342

“Not a lawyer- but apparently my brother divorced his wife when McDonald’s forgot to put bbq sauce in with her chicken nuggets at the drive through and she asked him to go back and get some.”

“He didn’t and then I guess she started smashing up food and throwing it at him/out the window….. so yeah…. McDonalds how could you ruin a marriage ?…….” — WITCH_glitch_I-hex-u

“Not a lawyer: My Mom’s coworker divorced over dishes in the dishwasher.”

“The wife would get so frustrated over the husband (coworker) not rinsing dishes before he loads them in the dishwasher.”

“To compromise, they bought a super nice, top of the line dishwasher. Solves the problem, right?”

“She yelled about the dishes that night. He filed for divorce the next day.” — weberster

“Not a lawyer but this happened to my wife’s cousin.”

“Her husband came home one day asking her to give a higher financial contribution on the groceries, because she, as a lady, was using more toilet paper than him.”

“She took it as a joke and had a good laugh. He got mad, and asked for divorce.”

“Worth mentioning that his salary was 3 times higher than hers.” — Yashky

Many people witnessed bizarre breaking points.

“Nobody ever believes me about this one, but it’s true.”

“A man wanted a divorce from his wife because – and he gave this example as the ‘last straw’ – his wife ate those nasty pumpkin Halloween candies, like candy corn but pumpkin shaped.”

“He had been looking forward to them all day and when he got home, she had eaten them all. He snapped.”

“Swear on my life this story is true.” — Brkiri

“My father-in-law and mother-in-law’s breaking point was when he threw a breadcrumb at her from across the kitchen.”

“The divorce took 4 years to settle.” — ITS_JUST_LOW_T

One Redditor offered up another version of that story.

“My ex thinks I divorced him because my friends told me to.”

“What actually happened was I was bitching about him to a friend and she said ‘you know, he really is a passive aggressive piece of garbage. He does this all the time’.”

“And then I started thinking about how he really did pull that crap all the time and how I wasn’t actually depressed, I just hated living with him.”

“She opened my eyes, but I divorced him because he treated me like crap, not because my friend told me to.” — scaly_friends_4me

Other times, the divorce was prompted by a surprise discovery.

“I remember one episode of a TV show here in my country, similar to Jerry Springer, the woman didn’t know her husband used dentures until marrying and living together.”

“She said she couldn’t handle anymore, she was disgusted.”

“They both cried, she said a lot of ‘I’m sorry’ but she couldn’t go on. They were married for a few months.”

“Don’t know if it was true though.” — nerdy_latino

“The weirdest I’ve ever seen is a coworker of mine.”

“His wife saw a picture of him at a pool when he was in high school and really athletic. Toned, muscular, tan and so on.”

“Over the 10 years after high school he stopped lifting and lost his muscle tone and just became skinny.”

She told him she wanted him to get back to working out because she really liked the way he once looked and he said it was something he missed doing and agreed to get a gym membership.”

“He was going to the gym four days a week but was only really working out for two of them. On the days he didn’t work out he would sit in the sauna to get sweaty, watch Netflix and then go home.”

“When she asked about him going to the gym and accidentally let it slip that he was fudging workouts twice a week. She apparently found that to be a deal breaker and filed for divorce.” — SafewordisJohnCandy

“A woman came in wanting to divorce her husband. He had just gotten a new job and a pretty big raise.”

“It turned out that this new job of his also required that he work from home but he was working in an office before.”

“She was having an affair with their next-door neighbor and him being home more meant that she couldn’t cheat on her husband easily.”

“That was definitely a twist. I was expecting something like him being the one having the affair but nope!” — red_duke117

“A teacher I had in HS got divorced because his wife didnt like how much sex he had before they had been married.”

“To put in context how petty of a reason that was, they had been married for 12 yrs and had three kids together.”

“She had also met him a few years into his teaching career which didn’t start till he was 32.”

“But to say both sides of the argument, he did have a staggering large amount of sex, he was an Olympian and had been going to the Olympics to compete since he was 18.”

“He was the best teacher to ever have as a homeroom teacher as the stories he could tell were just surreal.” — TarvidD12

So there you have it.

Even if you find yourself in the throes of a dying marriage destined for failure for the least legitimate reason possible, you will not be alone.

I guess there’s some comfort in that, right?

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Lawyers Talk About Worst Way They’ve Seen People Get Screwed Over in Court

I really hope I never get in trouble with the law or have to go to court for any reason whatsoever because the whole justice system pretty much terrifies me and I don’t want to have anything to do with it.

So far, so good on my end…

But the fact is that a lot of people get royally screwed over in court. Sometimes it was their fault, sometimes it wasn’t

Here are some interesting answers from AskReddit.

1. You blew it!

“My client screwed them-self.

I’m doing landlord tenant stuff and my client was facing eviction over non-payment, but the client was withholding rent payments because of habitability issues in the apartment, no heat, high lead levels, vermin. This is gonna be an easy win for me.

Told my client continually to make sure they don’t spend the money, keep it but don’t spend it. Because if you show the judge you still have the money it looks real good for you in terms of making the judge believe that you’re withholding for good reasons.

We get up in front of the judge, landlord doesn’t have an attorney so I’m dancing inside, there’s no way I can lose.

I make my arguments and the landlord makes his.

Judge asks my client if they still have the money.

Client goes “nah I blew that shit at the casino last week”.”

2. That was fast.

“My wife is the lawyer.

Info: When children reach the age of majority if they do not continue studying and start working, it is not necessary to pay alimony.

Info: My wife’s client found a new lover, which unleashed the wrath of the ex-wife, who started asking for more alimony for her children.

Well to win the case, it was necessary to prove that the children were working, but they could not get any proof of it.

There was not much chance of winning, but they still went to court hoping that with the interrogations they could find information that would put them in evidence.

On the day of the trial the children did not go, only the mother and her lawyer were present.

Judge: Madam, tell me why your children could not come.

Mom: they could not get permission at work.

Judge:…

Lawyer:…

Mom: …

Another few seconds of silence.

Judge: well, that was fast.”

3. The truck is yours.

“I had a client who was trying to get away from an abusive ex and filed for a restraining order. He shows up to the final hearing and is making a big fuss about a truck that they bought during their marriage. He said it was just his, and she had no rights to it because their marriage was void.

I asked him on cross examination what he meant by that, and he said that he had already been married in another state when he married my client. He said that my client had no idea, but that it means their marriage is invalid and the truck was all his.

Not only is that legally inaccurate, the transcript of the hearing was promptly turned over to the police, who were actively investigating him for bigamy.

Oh, and the judge gave my client the truck along with a two year no-contact order.”

4. Major facepalm.

“I’m a lawyer, saw someone screw himself.

I work as a public servant in a criminal law judge’s office, and since I have a law degree I don’t normally do administrative work, though I get to be with the judge in some of the hearings.

Last month we had a huge drug trafficking case (I’m talking about 20 or more people involved, months of investigation, undercover agents, videos, audio, the whole ordeal). Hearing lasted three days.

Anyway when it was time for one of the defendants to be on the stand so the prosecutor could read the charges he was accusing him of (He was pleading not guilty, as he very loudly stated from the majority of the hearing, up until my boss -the judge- told him to shut up or he would be admonished, to which he replied “what are you gonna do, arrest me?” which, to be honest, was actually a bit funny).

The prosecutor, as part of the facts of his case, told him that “he was being accussed of selling, traficking and carrying x amount of x drugs, with the base of his operation being his house, where he lived with his partner” (Mind you, said partner wasn’t even in the hearing, she wasn’t arrested or anything as there was nothing tying her to the case) he said “wait up, I was the one selling the drugs, she didn’t do anything”.

His lawyer (a state assigned public lawyer) facepalmed so hard it’s actually recorded in the audio of the hearing.

He still pleaded not guilty.”

5. Happens more than you’d think.

“A witness for the plaintiff in a civil suit, who was a co-worker of the plaintiff testified very strongly against the company and in favor of the plaintiff. I questioned her about bias toward the plaintiff, if they knew eachother well, were friends, etc. She said, no just friendly co-workers, “work friends” at best. I pinned her to it.

When I got a chance to cross-examine the plaintiff, she had no choice but to burn her witnesses credibility, because no only were they very close friends, but they had become sisters in law just a few years before. (no, they did not have the same last name or anything, but I had done my homework).

I still don’t get why people want to fight small bias, by destroying their credibility, but … it happens more than you’d think.”

6. The age of consent.

“More of a case of screwing himself over, but here goes. This was a case another prosecutor in my office had a few years back. 30 year old defendant was charged with sexual assault of a child after he got his girlfriend’s 14 year old sister pregnant. She actually kept the baby so the police just waited and got a paternity test. No surprise, defendant was the father.

Defendant wanted probation; prosector refused to offer it. He decided to plead guilty and have a jury trial on punishment (here in Texas, you can choose to have the jury set punishment). Evidence mostly proceeded as expected. The victim testified to having consensual (aside from not being old enough to consent) sex with the defendant, getting pregnant, etc.. Paternity test introduced.

Defendant took the stand. His version of events was that he snuck into victim’s room at night, covered her mouth, and held her down while he forcibly had sex with her against her will. It seemed like his own lawyer had no idea that’s the story he settled on.

The jury deliberated about fifteen minutes before returning a verdict of 17 years (the maximum possible as charged was 20). When interviewed by the attorneys afterwards, one of them said they decided on 17 years so the defendant would never forget the age of consent in Texas again.”

7. A terrible story.

“A prior boss’s story:

They had a drunk-driver-kills-a-car-worth-of-people case at the time when they were a general practitioner. My boss was representing the family that got hit (one where the two kids and the wife had died, but the father had not) and wanted the college guy’s drunk-driving skin to be mounted on a wall.

This was back before Facebook was commonly used in Court proceedings and before tons of people realized that shit is too great for any attorney worth their weight in salt to pass up.

So, the kid (drunk driving college kid) had managed to get the judge’s sympathy during the first part of the hearing by saying he was sorry, haunted, never going to drink again, this was going to ruin his life, etc. The judge seemed to really be eating it up.

Then comes my boss and immediately burns this kid’s remorse to the ground by showing numerous Facebook statuses and photos of them binge drinking, partying, and even joking about driving drunk from the date of the accident up until a night ago. The kid looked like he was being forced to swallow hot coals and the judge was absolutely livid.

Needless to say, the kid had to do way more than just apologize and be remorseful after that.”

8. Drunk…again.

“My dad’s case. He was the equivalent of a Public Defender decades ago. There was this guy that would get caught for being drunk in public, public lewdness, etc. EVERY weekend. He seemed to draw the same judges and was pretty well known to everyone in the courthouse as an absolute lost cause.

One of the “regular” judges had him appear in his court again. The judge is ready to give him a prison sentence because he was driving a car this time, but the guy starts crying that he finally got a job out of town and was trying to turn his life around. Judge tells him as long as he never makes a mistake “in my town again” he would just drop the charges.

Well sure as hell the guy shows up the following Monday. Same judge. Driving drunk AGAIN. My dad now has his case. The judge tells him he gave him his final chance, to which the guy sobs and replies “I was leaving town, your Honor.

But my friends decided to throw me a going-away party.” The judge was not amused. My dad had to do everything he could to not laugh.”

9. Custody dispute.

“I was litigating a custody dispute on behalf of the mother in an incredibly conservative jurisdiction. One of the most common ways to get custody was to allege sex or porn addiction because the threshold for it was basically non existent.

For this hearing however, we lucked out with the judge, who I knew from other cases. Opposing counsel tried to “gotcha!” Me into settling before the hearing by showing me surprise sexts between mom and her new boyfriend.

This is, of course, not law and order and you can’t introduce surprise evidence. So we go through with the hearing, I object to the sexts, but say I would allow them to be ready into the record, in their entirety.

So the uptight very conservative local attorney gets to spend the next twenty five minutes or so reading sexts in open court occasionally asking if she could gloss over parts but no, I didn’t feel it would be appropriate. I’ll never forget hearing her struggle with the word nipple. It’s not even a dirty word!

But this was like the third hearing we had to amend custody because this guy felt his ex wife having a boyfriend meant she was a sex addict. They alleged the sexts happened while the kid was in Mom’s custody. But they based that on the timestamp of the screenshots. The timestamp on the texts was clearly at a time when the kid was not even around and mom was safe to get freaky over the phone.

The judge had heard enough of his bullshit and awarded attorneys fees and put in the order, consistent with the vexatious litigant statute, that if dad would continue to be liable for her attorneys fees if he kept pushing this shit.

It was the only joy I got from practicing family law.”

10. “The most badass thing I had ever seen.”

“I was a very new lawyer, with no bankruptcy experience. A partner sent me to bankruptcy court to try to make a claim as a creditor related to a $50 million building that was being sold.

Time and lack of knowledge will prevent me from accurately describing everything that went down but I will do my best.

The Court handled my client’s claim very quickly and easily at first. The Court ruled we were not a creditor because our claim was against a tenant, which was correct. (Note, we had purchased the claim from someone merely to try to somehow wedge our way into buying the property – which was very transparent to the Court.)

So I could just set back for the remainder of the hearing and watch the 2 premier bankruptcy attorneys go at it. One represented the debtor and the owner of the building; the other represented a secured creditor with a lien against the building

They absolutely hated each other on a personal level, and were arguing with great venom about the plan to sell the real estate.

There was a small break in the action while the judge took care of another matter.

When we came back, the secured creditor attorney told the Court the following:

His client (the creditor) had purchased controlling interest in the debtor (the owner of the building).

He had been directed to fire the other attorney.

He had been directed to withdraw the motion to sell the real estate.

He then did both there in the Courtroom.

I have practiced for almost 3 decades. It was the most bad ass thing I had ever seen, and was particularly noteworthy because the courtroom was packed with other attorneys watching and those 2 attorneys absolutely hated each other.”

11. A major backfire.

“A wife filed for a restraining order because she wanted the house during divorce. Husband has good job, like 200k per year. Employer finds out about restraining order, husband is fired. He was very specialized employee so only job he can find close to to house, ex-wife, and daughter is 50k.

House gets foreclosed. Child support at less than $500 per month. Wife has to get job as waitress. Four cars get repossessed.”

12. Off to jail you go!

“Had a criminal jury trial for misdemeanor Criminal Mischief over 4 years ago. State filed charges and kept amending the Information to the point where they left the ACTUAL VICTIM out of the trial and proceeded with the two eyewitnesses.

Well, one of the witnesses was my client’s ex and the other witness was the ex’s new GF. They claimed my client vandalized the ACTUAL VICTIM’s car. Client denied everything.

Well, apparently, the State and both Witnesses had no idea that the Ex had a outstanding warrant for not paying child support to MY CLIENT which created a motive for him to lie. Asked him if he was aware that he had a warrant out for his arrest on the stand. He didn’t know. The Judge excused the jurors. The bailiffs arrested the Ex on the stand. State rested.

Judge granted our Motion for Judgment of Acquittal because we had good case law for the victim not being there. Client walked away free and the Ex went to jail.”

13. A story from the jury.

“I sat on the jury of a man who was accused of molesting his 10 year old niece. He elected to testify in his own defense and his defense was: “I did it, but it was her idea.”

It was his third felony strike so he will be spending (with luck) the rest of his life in prison.”

Like I said, I really hope I never have to go to court in my entire life…

How about you?

Have you had any experiences with the justice system?

If so, please share them in the comments.

We want to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly.

The post Lawyers Talk About Worst Way They’ve Seen People Get Screwed Over in Court appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 Lawyers Reveal When They Realized Their Clients Were Terrible People

Being a lawyer is a pretty tough gig. Especially the ones who have to defend really terrible clients who they know have done some awful things.

In this AskReddit article, lawyers open up and reveal when they realized they were representing some really bad folks.

1. Scummy firm

“Not the client but my managing partner.

The client was a senile 90-year-old man. He wanted to sell land worth a little less than a billion dollars to some businessmen. Suffice to say there were many who wanted to take advantage of the situation. One such person, to my dismay, was our managing partner.

The partner wanted to insert a provision that would have effectively funneled about 60% of the proceeds solely to him. You could see how his eyes gleamed at the mere mention of money. The provision “got lost in the revisions.” I was doing the revisions.

I’m no longer part of that scummy firm.”

2. Shed no tears

“A lot of years ago I used to work as a solicitors representative (cases go to crown court, barrister deals and I am there for paperwork, additional stuff with client etc).

70 something year old man had been in jail for 15 years for an assault on a child.

Solicitor and barrister working on getting him released due to him getting clean reports from just about everyone.

Guards took him out of jail to a dentist and as he entered the waiting room he saw two children and ran straight at them. Guards stopped him.

3 weeks later at court I was the one that sat him down in a room to explain that no, this isn’t a hearing to release you. It is so you can be commited to a mental health secure facility for the rest of your life.

He didn’t take that well, I shed no tears.”

3. Disturbing

“I’m on the other side, but I’ve got a defendant who went to prison for starving three adopted children to the point that they needed weeks of hospitalization, then got out of prison and married a guy with children so that she could start starving them, too. Listening to her interview where she attempts to justify what she did to both sets of kids disturbed me more than any of the murder cases I’ve worked on.”

4. Creep

“We had a client try and enforce a post-employment restraint against a 19 year old receptionist after she quit and started working for a competitor. The reason? He wanted to “make her life hell” because she wouldn’t sleep with him, a creepy 57 year old man.

Him trying to sleep with her was the reason she quit. Unsurprisingly he didn’t take our advice to discontinue his claim and so we ended up sending him elsewhere.”

5. Unfit mother

“She tried to sell her baby. I found out during a hearing, in front of the judge.”

6. Terrifying

“I listened to a 911 call where the victim’s throat was slit while on the call by our client. I will never forget her gurgling and sounding like she was dying (somehow she ultimately lived through this) saying, “He killed me, he killed me.” “

7. Manipulation

“I’ll go ahead and say it. When I practiced family law and criminal defense, I trusted and believed my criminal defense clients 100x more than my divorce/custody clients. The worst monsters are the people who manipulate minor children for custody reasons. F*ck them. Luckily I’m out of that area of law, hopefully for good.”

8. What a story

“Had a divorce client, husband and father, who disowned his autistic son, tried to argue that he should get all of his wife’s retirement having not worked for 12 years, contacted me during the height of hurricane Sandy (he was in the Bronx and me in Manhattan) saying he wanted to hold his wife in contempt for not paying him that day while the storm slammed NYC, told me I was making a huge mistake getting married (my wedding date was November 3rd, 4 days after Sandy) saying that I was going to be miserable and regret it…. I could go on.

But, the worst was when, several months later, since his divorce was taking a long time, he sent death threat letters to myself and my wife saying that he had hired an “executor” to kill the two of us if his divorce wasn’t finalized in 60 days. Called the police and they said he left his premises one day earlier.

I heard nothing from him until February 2014 when he emailed me saying he needed a winter coat from his wife and could I help get it for him. Ironically, the divorce didn’t have to be completed because he killed himself before the judge signed the judgment of divorce.”

9. Time to quit

“My mom is a lawyer. This is the story about how she quit being a public defender.

When you are a public defender you don’t get to choose your cases. She got assigned a young man who, with the help of his gifriend, had gotten a kitten from a “free to a good home” ad in the paper. They then brought it home and gave it to their dog as a chew toy. I think they also filmed it.

So yeah.

She said she needed a shower after every meeting with him. Canceled her PD contract after the case concluded.”

10. This is awful

“I’ve done a lot of prison legal aid, and I could tell stories about child molesters that would turn you green, but instead I’ll turn you green a different way.

I had a kid (17) who was mildly cognitively disabled, due to brain trauma he sustained at the hands of his birth parents, who ended up with a really wonderful foster care family and thrived.

He was a popular kid in school, good athlete, got a girlfriend and invited her to meet up and be teenagers one night in a corn silo – which I guess is a thing that country kids do? I don’t know, this all comes from the pre-sentence investigation report I read before taking his case, but this girl met him at the silo and they were hanging out inside.

By his account, they were having a nice time and he was really enjoying himself, then for no particular reason, he picked up a 2×4 and bashed her skull in. He then used a combination of very crude farm implements (shovels, hoes) to chop her body up and bury it in the corn and went home like nothing had happened.

Hey, you asked.”

11. Not happy

“I had a client who was accused of domestic violence. Essentially he threw his girlfriend out of a second story window. Now he’s got a terrible history but so do a lot of my clients and his attitude is a little entitled (also typical). But he also knows the deal and wants a plea deal.

So I’m not really prepared when he absolutely refuses the no jail offer from the state (keep in mind there were like 5 witnesses). Why? Because they wanted him to pay for her medical bills. Ok, an asshole but whatever not the worst.

What did it was his counteroffer.

“I ain’t paying that bitchs bills. Tell them I’ll pay for the window.”

Prosecutor was not happy.”

12. First week on the job

“The first week I started at my current criminal defense firm I was tasked with cataloging discovery from our client’s phone.

The phone had multiple (talking around 4,000) videos, photos, text exchanges with women under 16 (though not all of the girls’ ages were confirmed most, if not all, were under the legal age of consent and many were barely pubescent) naked and being prostituted over 1 year. He would lure these girls in exchange for drugs.

Nothing felt totally bizarre until I came across one video where he was clearly forcing himself upon a literal child who was so high on benzodiazepines (not willingly but rather forced) and choking her in the process. When our firm confronted him, he said he was in love with her and that’s why he did it.

He would also take these girls to hotels and make them have sex with one another while he taped, but nothing beat what I said above.

Pretty horrifying stuff for my first week on the job.”

13. Scary

“The first and last family law case was assigned to me as a first year associate. My client broke his wife’s jaw, and said if they were home in Russia he would have killed her because he could pay his way out of prison there.”

14. A laundry list

“Criminal defense lawyer. I can name a few instances where I was just absolutely disgusted with my client. Caveat, these are mostly years ago when I was taking just any old case. I most practice white collar and federal now.

I won a DUI case because the government messed up on something right before trial was to begin. My client gives me a hug and COMPLETELY reeks of alcohol. He has driven to court. I took his keys and called his mother.

Client who was accused of molesting a 12 year old. He was mid 40s at the time and I had to shut him down real quick when he tried to tell me how the 12 year old was coming on to him.

I represented a woman for a grand theft charge. Left her in my office to get some things copied before she left. After she left, I realized my sunglasses and car keys were stolen. I tracked her down in the lobby and told her I was not going to represent her anymore and I would call the police if she didn’t empty her pockets in front of me and give me my things

I had a client who was released after 25 years in prison for MURDER and then the SAME day he beats up his prospective new landlord. He ended up getting another 10 years. He was unrepentant and laughed about how he hit the guy so hard his eye ball popped out. I thought, ‘this guy deserves to be in prison.’ Took the case to trial anyway and (shocker) lost and he got 10 (the max).

Client who pretended to be a doctor so he could sell steroids. According to the Gov, he had numerous clients who were made to believe that his steroids would cure their cancer. They paid him hundreds of thousands of dollars and some of them died. I just thought that was pure evil.”

15. Uggghhh

“My first internship in law school was at a matrimonial law firm in a very wealthy area, think millionaires and billionaires getting divorced.

One of the first cases I worked on involved the parents of a victim of a high-profile school shooting. The parents were divorced and had been prior to the death of the child, and were now battling over who would get the victim’s compensation fund money and the funds they received from a fundraiser they set up themselves on a GoFundMe-type site!

These were incredibly wealthy people fighting over what was literal chump change to them and asking the public to donate to them as if they needed it. They were so clearly exploiting the death of their child for money and to piss off the other parent, it was honestly one of the most disturbing things I have encountered, ever..”

The post 15 Lawyers Reveal When They Realized Their Clients Were Terrible People appeared first on UberFacts.