15 Hilarious Tweets from Husbands About Married Life

Marriage…it’s lovely, isn’t it?

The love, the passion, the romance…the getting yelled at to clean up your clothes all over the bedroom floor…

You know – the good stuff! Here are some very funny and very accurate tweets from husbands who have been there and done that.

1. You’re gonna need to back off.

2. A real tragedy.

3. You’re the champ!

4. Here we are.

5. Isn’t that nice!

6. You can’t win.

7. Moments of terror.

8. Those are too good for you.

9. Can’t get out of that one.

10. One of life’s mysteries.

11. This guy is a real cut-up.

12. What were you thinking?

13. Think the kids will notice?

14. I’m gonna need this in writing.

15. A whole new man.

If you’re married, we want to hear from you!

Tell us something hilarious/embarrassing/ridiculous/annoying that your spouse did that you can’t get off your mind.

The post 15 Hilarious Tweets from Husbands About Married Life appeared first on UberFacts.

Divorced People Share the Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Over

Marriage is supposed to be forever, but it doesn’t often work out that way.

Sometimes with divorces, there’s a slow, tortuous buildup to the end with enough drama and/or introspection to fill a few diaries cover to cover. Then there are those marriages where everything combusts in a moment, like it did in most of these 19 stories from various Reddit threads.

Hopefully at least one fun divorce party was had after these proceedings!

1. Broiled was given lots of red flags.

Probably when I returned home and found all the furniture, food and my wife missing.

Another hint was the empty bank account.

2. Then shouldn’t cdc194 and his ex be going to hell for divorcing?

She wasn’t religious when we met, 10 years later she told me I was going to hell for believing in dinosaurs.

3. Buckaroo_Banzai_ just wanted a new shirt.

My wife put on 170 lbs over 10 years. I never said anything and supported her attempts at weight loss.

One day I was trying on an old Steelers jersey that didn’t fit, because I had gained 15 lbs in 10 years. I said, “Well, i guess it’s time to buy a bigger jersey.” her response:

“We’re not blowing money on a stupid jersey. You’ll just have to lose weight.”

Fucking

Done

4. Metyuadem saw the demise of two relationships at once. What a show.

When I came home to find her sister’s husband naked in my bed.

5. Nobody likes taking the bus, but this person’s ex could’ve kept that thought to herself.

On my 6th birthday I got a dog named Ace, an absolutely beautiful golden retriever chow mix that was my only friend throughout a very lonely elementary-middle school life.

My parents called me one day in July of 2009 while I was at work (I was stationed in my hometown after a few tours) telling me they were taking him to be put down because he was having some terrible medical problems and in pain.

I asked my Top if I could go and he threw me out of the office, on the way towards my folks house I called my wife at work (DQ) crying hysterically about it. I told her that she will have to either take the bus home or have her mother take her.

The bus was a straight route and would take 15 minutes, and her mom lived between her work and our house so it would be no hassle anyway.

Cut the story short, she starts screaming at me for caring more about a “stupid fucking dog” than her having to take the bus home, I hung up and that was it. I never kissed or hugged her again.

6. If Raven2002 wasn’t that hurt by his friend, he needs better friends.

I came home early from work because of a migraine. Found him in bed with my best friend.

Oddly, I was more hurt by her behavior than his.

Broomed them both that day.

7. GoingBackToKPax takes things literally.

The last straw? The one they kept snorting coke with.

8. This person’s ex was very upfront about their opinions/forcing them on other people.

When he said ‘okay, I won’t force you into converting anymore, but I’m going to pressure you a little bit and talk a lot about my religion to you so that you’ll accept the truth eventually’.

At least there was honesty involved in this failed conversion.

10. Molunkusmol delivered a great comeback on such short notice.

I suspected my then husband of cheating, so I followed him. I went to the house where he was and saw him outside with a little boy. I was angry and asked (not meaning it), “Who is that – your son?” He said, “Yes.”

Yikes – surprise – he had another family! Time to split! My response, “I don’t ever want to see you again. On your deathbed will be too soon.”

11. _Blood_Fart_ is familiar with the adventures of the sea.

After having sex, her lover would wipe his “nut” on my pillow.

Came home from work and laid right in it 2 times. She claimed I drooled in my sleep.

I know the taste of seamen, she could not fool me.

12. It’d be interesting to know how often 1angrydad consumes this fruit now.
Bananas.

We were grocery shopping, and I pick up a bunch of bananas and she immediately started in with “Why are you getting bananas?! You’re not going to eat them, put them back! Right now!”

Literally yelling at me and berating me in public for bananas.

When we got back to the house, I told her I was done.

One too many crazy episodes for me.

13. Shakeyjake discovered the power of writing.

When I sat down and wrote down all my life’s goals and ambitions and realized that when I imagined my happiest self in the future it didn’t include her.

14. It’s shocking that noisycat’s husband was shocked.

My husband informed me he was moving the girl he had been having an affair with into our house.

He wasn’t divorcing me – he fully expected I’d be passive enough to accept it.

According to his friends and family, he was “shocked” I left.

15. Zinere could’ve ended up without the dog, which would’ve been worse.

When she dropped me off on a major highway in Florida with no cell, no money, my dog and a bag of clothes that is when I made the choice this woman’s getting a divorce.

16. Was_creative_once shouldn’t be so modest about his math skills.

Came home from a seven month deployment overseas to a five month pregnant wife. I’m no mathematician but I figured that one out

Putting two and two together can be hard sometimes.

17. Emodius and his ex had different ideas about work.

Ex wife said “You should get a second job”. I’m like, “Bitch, you should get a first job”. I knew.

18. DidymusNoble doesn’t understand the importance of cat food.

My dad left a passive aggressive note about not leaving a can of cat food in the fridge. My Mom confronted him about the tone of the note.

A fight ensued, Dad tried to escape to his man cave, Mom made the mistake of barging in to continue the fight while he was trying to calm down, Dad erupted in 25 years worth of pent up rage.

A can of cat food…

19. It’s unclear what WHATS_WITH planned to do with the one breast implant.

The day she showed up with a boob job and new boyfriend.

I wanted to sue for the right one, but my lawyer didn’t like that idea. I wanted my half!

Presumably he intended to do nothing fruitful with the fake boob.

Well, that was something I’ll never forget. What a bunch of insane stories!

Do you have one that you want to share? Do it in the comments!

The post Divorced People Share the Moment They Realized Their Marriage Was Over appeared first on UberFacts.

Men Explain What Life Is like If You Marry a Trophy Wife

People are quick to judge and make assumptions about trophy wives. No doubt about that. However, what is it like for men who knowingly chose their partner with the intention of them being a trophy wife?

These guys open up about their unconventional marriages and the eyebrows they raise as a result.

Read on to find out what they had to say about their relationships.

1. Seems happy… for now…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. This is actually kind of sweet…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. I don’t think the lawyers  are gonna let you off that easily…

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Another adorable admission!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Not everybody has to be everything for you…

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Are you sure…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. You have issues….

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Well… duh!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. At least you know the deal!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. She wasn’t a gold digger if she stuck around…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. How sweet…

Photo Credit: Whisper

What do you think? Would you ever have a trophy wife? Or a trophy hubby?

Let us know in the comments!

The post Men Explain What Life Is like If You Marry a Trophy Wife appeared first on UberFacts.

11 Husbands Share What They Do When Their Wives Are Gone

To all the ladies out there: do you know what your hubby does when you aren’t there? Think he has a secret life?

These 11 men confess that when the women are away, they will play…

Find out more…

1. Awwww, that’s sweet!

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Actually, pretty normal feeling…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. There ya go!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Damn!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Naughty naughty…

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. You can’t watch when she’s in town?

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Yep. Been married too long…

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Iron will…

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Dad FTW!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Okay, she’s either going to LOVE or HATE this!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Get high every day…

Photo Credit: Whisper

What do you think about these hubbies? Not so bad? Violations of trust?

Let us know in the comments!

The post 11 Husbands Share What They Do When Their Wives Are Gone appeared first on UberFacts.

Women Reveal the Real Reasons They Cheated on Their Husbands

Some will say there’s absolutely NO excuse for violating the sacred bonds of matrimony… but really… is marriage that sacred? Or can we all find ourselves in situations where we’d cheat?

These 12 wives open up about the reasons they couldn’t be faithful to their partners.

1. Dude… give her what she wants… a divorce!

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Then GTFO!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Apparently, payback isn’t a bitch.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Yay! Glad you found somebody great!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. So… who’s the child in this scenario?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Oh snap. That’ll devastate him.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Of all the reason to cheat, this HAS to be the best.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Guys… you can’t be boring!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Glad it didn’t work out, for both your sakes.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Oh shit. Sorry!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Wait… what?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. A common complaint…

Photo Credit: Whisper

What do you think? Are you shocked or can you see their POV?

The post Women Reveal the Real Reasons They Cheated on Their Husbands appeared first on UberFacts.

21 People Confess About the Double Lives They’re Keeping From Their Families

Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet – little secrets that they’d prefer to keep hidden away from the world for one reason or another.

Sometimes, these secrets are relatively harmless – like the time I stole some candy in middle school. Others, however, can be a lot bigger. Just ask these 21 people.

1. Reveal that shit!

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Uh oh… this will end badly…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Yikes!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Good lord!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Sure you can. Just leave EVERYTHING behind.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Get help. Addiction will destroy you. Your husband might not reject you.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Gross.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. How do people hide pregnancies? How does that even work!?!?

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. I’m sure you can tell him that.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. TELL HIM!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Oh boy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. How does somebody have a baby with somebody and the husband not find out?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Oh damn!

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. I’m sure he knows…

Photo Credit: Whisper

15. Again, TELL THEM!

Photo Credit: Whisper

16. Wow.

Photo Credit: Whisper

17. Discuss this with her. Please!

Photo Credit: Whisper

18. Time to have a discussion!

Photo Credit: Whisper

19. Well, that worked out…

Photo Credit: Whisper

20. You’re an asshole.

Photo Credit: Whisper

21. Not cool.

Photo Credit: Whisper

Well, if you thought it was easy to trust someone, think again!

Craziness…

The post 21 People Confess About the Double Lives They’re Keeping From Their Families appeared first on UberFacts.

Artist’s Adorable Illustrations Reveal the Hidden Side of Relationships

The prospect of a long-term relationship brings up pretty mixed reactions from people. Particularly for those who are single, long-term relationships might seem like a perfect romantic experience where couples sit around and cuddle and feed each other grapes all day. But anyone who’s actually been in a long-term relationship will tell you that that’s just not the case. Sure, there are tons of amazing moments that you’d never trade in a lifetime, but there are also plenty of others that aren’t as picture-perfect as Rom-Coms might have you believe.

But don’t just take my word for it. LA-based artist Amanda Oleander has been documenting the lives of couples behind closed doors and her work is way too relatable. She’s been dating a man named Joey for the past three years and is very open about how much their relationship has influenced her work. “Before I met Joey if anyone told me their love and relationship was like ours I wouldn’t believe it,” Oleander said in an interview with Bored Panda. ” It’s nothing less than amazing. We can’t get enough of each other.”

She went on to say that, “[She’s] enthralled by the way people behave behind closed doors, intimate moments we never get to see. Those are moments that can’t really be documented because if they were, it would alter the way the person behaved. So I draw them.”

You can check out some of Amanda’s work below.

1.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

2.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

3.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

4.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

5.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

6.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

7.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

8.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

9.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

10.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

11.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

12.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

13.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

14.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

15.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

That’s as real as it gets.

The post Artist’s Adorable Illustrations Reveal the Hidden Side of Relationships appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Husbands Who’ll Make Yours Seem Like Prince Charming By Comparison

I’ve been a husband for about 3 years now, and I think I can confidently say that I am doing a much better job than these guys (not that that’s saying much).

Fellas, whatever your relationship status may be, you’ve gotta step it up. Enough with the “putting empty milk jugs back in the fridge”-BS. You’re a grownup, so act like it, yeah?

And to all you wives who complain about your husbands… bet he doesn’t look so bad now, does he?

1. Nice snack mix…unless your husband gets there first.

Photo Credit: Reddit: vespernata

2. What husband thought it was okay to put this back in the freezer?

Photo Credit: Reddit: jojojones423

3. Or this husband who left some cream cheese for his wife.

Photo Credit: Reddit: kittykat47

4. That’s, um…not how you cut an avocado.

Photo Credit: Reddit: KJN729

5. He had to get to the bagels, no matter the cost.

Photo Credit: Reddit: eleanora_

6. That little orange on top is just decoration, right?

Photo Credit: Reddit: ayannauriel

7. What? Who? How?

Photo Credit: Reddit: the_buttbank

8. He tried to shred the sliced cheese.

Photo Credit: Reddit: eeveefury

9. He bought fresh milk because they were “out.”

Photo Credit: Reddit: Behazeled

10. Toast, anyone?

Photo Credit: Reddit: Niplash

11. Who doesn’t love orange slivers?

Photo Credit: Reddit: grumpycat_95

12. Her husband peeled one banana and ensured that the rest were ruined in the process.

Photo Credit: Reddit: clefabulous88

13. But…it’s supposed to…AHHH!

Photo Credit: Reddit: cakerton

14. Nothing like opening up the fridge and grabbing this:

Photo Credit: Reddit: JMyers666

15. Her husband always complains that his beer gets knocked over. If only there was a solution…

Oh, husbands. What would we do without them?

The post 15 Husbands Who’ll Make Yours Seem Like Prince Charming By Comparison appeared first on UberFacts.