8 Delightful Facts about the Late, Great Alan Rickman

Did you fall in love with Alan Rickman for his role as Snape in Harry Potter, for his iconic part in Dogma, or are you a Hans Gruber-head a la Die Hard?

No matter what your favorite Alan Rickmoment may have been, we can all agree that he was taken from this world far too soon.

At least we have the internet to give us comfort, and today that comes in the form of 8 great facts about an even greater guy.

#1. He has the “perfect male voice,” according to science.

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

In 2008, linguist Andrew Linn and sound engineer Shannon Harris analyzed voice samples from more than 50 people to determine what makes the perfect human voice  – and the answer turned out to be a mixture of Alan Rickman and Jeremy Irons.

Helen Mirren’s quote following his death sums that fact – and him – up perfectly:

“Alan was a towering person, physically, mentally, and as an artist. He was utterly distinctive, with a voice that could suggest honey or a hidden stiletto blade, and the profile of a Roman Emperor.”

#2. His first career was in graphic design.

Image Credit: Universal Pictures

Rickman was interested in drama as a teenager, but after studying graphic design at Chelsea College and Royal College of Art, he and a few friends started their own graphic design business called Graphitti. After several successful years he began doing theater and then enrolled at RADA.

#3. He met his longtime partner when he was a teenager.

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

When Alan Rickman was 19 years old he met 18-year-old Rima Horton, and that was it – though they didn’t marry until 2012, they were a couple for 50 years. Rima served as Labour Party councilor on their local council for two decades and worked as an economics lecturer at Kingston University.

#4. He auditioned for Return of the Jedi.

Image Credit: Sony Pictures

It was for the part of Admiral Moff Jerjerrod, who oversaw the construction of the second Death Star. The part went to Michael Pennington.

#5. He made his feature film debut in Die Hard.

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

Sam Neill turned down the role of Hans Gruber, which turned out to be a stroke of luck for Rickman – though the fact that the casting director for the film loved him on Broadway didn’t hurt.

#6. He was supposed to star in Four Weddings and a Funeral.

Image Credit: Sony Pictures

The role of Charles in Four Weddings and a Funeral was a breakthrough part for Hugh Grant, but the part was originally supposed to go to Rickman. The man pretty much owes Rickman his career.

#7. He almost turned Gruber down.

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

He was hesitant to make the leap from stage to screen, as he explained himself in an interview.

“I didn’t know anything about L.A. I didn’t know anything about the film business…I’d never made a film before, but I was extremely cheap.”

And the script?

“What the hell is this? I’m not doing an action movie.”

But after more consideration he realized it was “quite revolutionary, and quietly so.”

And the rest, as they say, is history.

#8. His first big break was on the stage.

Image Credit: Universal Pictures

He played Vicomte de Valmont in the Royal Shakespeare Company’s production of Les Liaisons Dangereuses in 1985. When he moved to Broadway in 1987, he won both Tony and Drama Desk Award nominations for the role.

Time for a rewatch…Colonel Brandon will always be too good for Marianne Dashwood.

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Lady Gaga Was Bullied by Ex-Classmates on Facebook, But She’s Clearly Laughing Last

I’ve always felt that the greatest revenge you can get on your haters is to succeed in spite of them. Haters never have anything good to contribute, so you’ve got to just ignore them and keep going on your path.

While plenty of celebrities have had that experience growing up, Lady Gaga has completely lived that truth.

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

You see, back when she was a college student at NYU, playing dive bars and open mics for anyone who’d listen, a crew of her classmates created a Facebook group specifically meant to bully her. They used the forum to tease her mercilessly, making fun of her appearance, her music, and her dream of becoming a famous singer.

Photo Credit: Facebook

The group, which uses her real name, is titled “Stefani Germanotta, you will never be famous,” and accused her of things like being an “attention whore”.  It also repeatedly stated that she’d never, ever be successful at her chosen calling.

The group was first exposed back in 2016, when Lauren Bohn, a former classmate of Gaga’s made a Facebook post about it:

Photo Credit: Facebook

Lauren wrote how Gaga’s story is a perfect example of what happens when you don’t let your haters get in your head.

When I was a freshman at NYU and Facebook was only a year old and people created/joined groups like “I have dimples, f*** me” and “Fake ID, please!,” I remember coming across a Facebook group that broke my heart. It’s name: “Stefani Germanotta, you will never be famous.

The page housed pictures of a pretty Norah Jones-esque young 18-year-old NYU student who sang and played piano at local bars. The group was peppered with comments, sharp as porcupine needles, vilifying the aspiring musician for being an “attention-whore.” Scores asked: “Who does she think she is?” I also remember one dude posting a flyer for one of her upcoming gigs at a local village bar. He had clearly stomped on the flyer, an outline of his muddy sole [soul] struggling to eclipse her name.

I couldn’t shake the raw feeling of filth while scrolling down that Facebook page, but I pretty much — and quickly — forgot about that group and that girl with the intense raven eyes.

Until about five years later. I was on an Amtrak train from NYC to Philly, reading a Vanessa Grigoriadis New York Magazine profile on Lady Gaga. I floated somewhat mindlessly through the piece until I got to the first sentence of the second graf:

“Before the meeting, I assumed that someone with a stage name like “Lady” (her given name is Stefani Joanne Germanotta) was going to be a bit standoffish…”

“HOLY SHIT,” I screamed to an empty car (Those who hang with me will know that I actually shrieked). “LADY GAGA IS STEFANI GERMANOTTA? STEFANI IS LADY GAGA?”

I was overcome with a dizzying emotional cocktail of stage-mom-at-a-beauty-pageant and nerd-revenge triumph. But also shame. Shame that I never wrote on that group, shame that I never defended the girl with the intense raven eyes — the girl whose brave flyers were stomped on, probably somewhere near my dorm.

But again, I soon forgot about that revelation and that feeling. Feelings. They’re so fleeting. Even more so, revelations. We need to constantly re-discover them every damn day. Like last week, when I woke up to this meme. I saw the muddy sole eclipsing her name. The eye-rolls. The cowardly virtual-giggles. The “Who does she think she is?”

I’ve got a lot of feelings, but the easiest one to articulate: gratitude. Stefani, thank you. Thank you for always thinking you’re a superstar, for using your cracks to let the light come out more brightly. Humans, let’s follow suit. #LadyGaga #ThatsWho

Well, Gaga is clearly getting the last laugh today. She’s a household name who recently broke barriers by becoming the first woman to win a Grammy, Oscar, Golden Globe, and BAFTA in the same year for her incredible performance in “A Star is Born.”

Photo Credit: Twitter

Plenty of folks were also curious as to what the creators of the group are up to now.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Photo Credit: Twitter

Others also noted that this just shows how people will always try to hate on each other, but that haters should never be the reason you give up on your dreams.

Photo Credit: Twitter

If you need even more inspiration…

…check out Lady Gaga’s Oscar acceptance speech in the above video.

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Here’s the Mystery Man Voicing Freddie Mercury in ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’

Rami Malek is the talk of the town all around Hollywood thanks to his recent Oscar win for Best Actor, portraying the legendary Freddie Mercury in “Boheminan Rhapsody.” But you’d better believe taking on a role like that took a LOT of hard work learning to sing… and another vocalist.

Marc Martel is a Canadian singer who plays a prominent role in the hit movie Bohemian Rhapsody – but you wouldn’t recognize his face if you passed him on the street. The film relied heavily on Martel’s uncanny ability to mimic Freddie Mercury’s voice in order to get the perfect soundtrack for the film, while still allowing star Rami Malek to portray the Queen vocalist onscreen. Malek’s voice and master recordings of Mercury, who died in 1991, were also used in the film, but Martel played an important part in the process.

Martel is credited in the film with providing “additional vocals”, but he signed a nondisclosure agreement, so he can’t get into too many details about how much his voice was actually featured.

Martel has previously gained notoriety on YouTube for his ability to imitate the iconic singer. His audition tape for Queen drummer Robert Taylor’s tribute band went viral in 2011.

Martel tours with his tribute band Ultimate Queen Celebration and has released an album of Queen cover songs. And though Malek is a bone fide star, Martel’s YouTube videos singing Queen songs have made him a minor celebrity in his own right.

Martel previously fronted a band called Downhere, and it was the bass player in that band that originally commented on his ability to sound like Freddie Mercury. Good thing he spoke up!

Learn how Rami Malek “sunk his teeth” into the role of a lifetime

Rami Malek also got a lot of help from dental technician Chris Lyons, who’s given actors like Meryl Streep and Tilda Swinton their chops. Learn all about about Malek’s teeth transformation:

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Behind-the-Scenes Photos of Famous Movies Showing How Special Effects Work

Modern movies have the ability to create entire worlds in ways that were completely unimaginable to our parents, thanks to advanced CGI.

If you’re a skeptic, check out the photos below that highlight just how complicated special effects are and how movies have the power to transport all of us to another world.

The Instagram page movies.effects shows its followers how incredible CGI is these days – here’s how the Hollywood big shots pull it off.

1. Atomic Blonde

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

2. Harry Potter

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

3. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

4. The Jungle Book

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

5. Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

6. Alice In Wonderland

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

7. War for The Planet of the Apes

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

8. Game Of Thrones

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

9. Jurassic Park (1993)

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

10. The Matrix

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

11. Deadpool

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

12. Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows – Part 2

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

13. Deadpool

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

14. Beauty And The Beast

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

15. Doctor Strange

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

16. The Avengers

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

17. Pirates Of The Caribbean

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

18. Guardians Of The Galaxy

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

19. Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

20. Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

Photo Credit: Instagram,movies.effects

Like I said, it’s magic!

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10+ Annoying Plot Holes That Might Just Ruin Your Favorite Movie

Every movie has some plot holes. It’s really hard to write an interesting script that’s 100% realistic, and most of the time these plot holes are small enough to go unnoticed. Or, if you do see them, they’re at least not so glaring as to take you out of the experience. Then there are plot holes (like the ones that absolutely litter Frozen, omg) that make it impossible for us to take a movie seriously any longer.

Here are 15 movies with plot holes so gaping you’ll never be able to unsee them. Fair warning.

#1. Armageddon

Image Credit: Disney

Okay, so there are probably multiple plot holes in this fun but ridiculous romp, but the biggest one is that it would have been far easier for NASA to train astronauts to drill than the other way around – a fact that Affleck actually pointed out during the filming process but was told to shut up and keep working on his fake crying.

I made the last part up, but the rest is true.

So is the fact that you’ll still watch and enjoy this movie, because there’s no way to take it seriously from the get-go.

#2. Frozen

Image Credit: Disney

Here’s one of many: the gates were shut to prevent word of Elsa’s powers from getting to the world outside.

So why did Anna have to stay locked inside the castle inside the city? Answer: she didn’t.

#3. The Maze Runner

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

The kids spend time lamenting how they have tried “everything” to get out of the crevasse and say specifically that they can’t use the ivy because it doesn’t go all the way to the top.

Except it clearly does, in just about every wide shot of that scene and others. Oops.

#4. Cinderella

Image Credit: Disney

A question for the ages – why don’t Cinderella’s slippers, which are part of the enchantment, also turn back into dingy flats at the stroke of midnight?

I don’t know about you, but I can forgive this one with the explanation that the fairy godmother knows what she’s doing and is basically setting the two up the entire time.

#5. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Image Credit: Lionsgate

Haymitch says early in the serious that there are “career tributes” from Districts 1 and 2 and that the tributes from those districts have won the Hunger Games “almost every year.”

So, how are there a living female and male victor from every other district to put up as mentors? Statistically, it shouldn’t be true.

#6. The Hangover

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

I know, I know, why even bother having this movie make sense? While that may be true, they could have made it a tad more believable by realizing that there’s not one single inch of a Vegas hotel and casino that’s not caught on video camera.

Someone would have seen and checked on Doug long before two days had elapsed.

#7. Twilight

Image Credit: Lionsgate

Victoria, a vampire who wants to kill Bella Swan, appears twice in the end frames of the movie. It’s been established that Edward can hear the thoughts of people in close vicinity, so why doesn’t he hear hers and do something about it sooner?

Not such a big hero now, huh?

#8. Gone Girl

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

After Amy returns, she spends time at the hospital being examined by doctors. Since only about a month has passed since she was “attacked,” they should find it suspicious (at best) that she bears no scars or evidence of such a brutal attack.

#9. Toy Story

Image Credit: Disney

If Buzz Lightyear thinks he’s real and not a toy, why does he freeze around the humans like the other toys?

Hmmmm.

#10. Ant-Man

Image Credit: Disney

This is a big one. Ant-Man is told explicitly – more than once – that his mass doesn’t change even though he gets small.

How, then, can actual ants (or any small insect) support his weight, even in a group? They can’t.

#11. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

When Ron finds Harry on the Hogwart’s Express and says that everywhere else is full – how can that be true if Harry is sitting alone in a compartment for 6 people?

Personally, I think Ron just wanted an excuse to meet the infamous Harry Potter. Who wouldn’t?

#12. Wonder Woman

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Oh, the sword-concealing blue dress. Think on this one: the dress flies off while she’s riding a horse, revealing her Wonder Woman costume underneath…

But there’s no way she was wearing the costume underneath, since it’s cut much higher and would have been easily seen.

#13. The Day After Tomorrow

Image Credit: 20th Century Fox

The skyscrapers (and everything else) are covered in about 10 feet of snow and ice…

So how did people manage to get out onto the roof to be rescued at the end?

#14. Signs

Image Credit: Disney

If the aliens are afraid of or hurt by water, as is revealed in the end, how were they running through a dew-covered cornfield at the film’s outset?

Hmm.

#15. The Dark Knight Rises

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Bane keeps the entirety of the police force (which, you know, presents some problems in and of itself) trapped in underground tunnels for months before Batman rescues them.

They’re all healthy, clean, shaven, and somehow, you know. Not dead.

And you thought she thought of everything.

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10 Abandoned Film Sets That Are Hauntingly Beautiful and Still Intact

Everything is make-believe in Hollywood, and it’s no surprise that after countless productions, there are a lot of sets that get left behind. Eventually, they’re reclaimed by Mother Nature, as is the way of all things. There’s something eery about places like these, as if the ghosts of the past are still there. And while there’s no reason to think any of these still-intact film sets are teeming with ghosts, well…there’s no reason to think they’re not, either.

#1. Port Royal (Pirates of the Caribbean)

Image Credit: Disney

Image Credit: Twitter

The set was constructed on St. Vincent, on Wallilabou Bay, and you can find many of the set pieces still hanging out like someone is coming back for them.

#2. Bus/Train crash (The Fugitive)

Image Credit: Warner Bros.

Image Credit: YouTube

The bus/train crash from the film was physically recreated…and left to decompose somewhere in the Great Smoky Mountains. Tell me you wouldn’t run the other way if you happened upon this in the wild.

#3. Gas station (The Hills Have Eyes)

Image Credit: Fox Searchlight

Image Credit: YouTube

This creepy horror flick takes place in Nevada, but if you want to visit this relic of the set, you’ll have to trek all the way to Ouarzazate, Morocco.

#4. The Long Branch Saloon (Gunsmoke)

Image Credit: CBS/Twitter

The building is still standing in Kanab, Utah, though based on these pictures it looks as if that might not be the case for long.

#5. The diner from Looper.

Image Credit: Reddit

Image Credit: Endgame Entertainment

Out in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana, and completely intact, as if it was dropped there by aliens. Or, you know…time travelers.

#6. Popeye’s village (Popeye, 1980)

Image Credit: Paramount, Flickr

The village was constructed in Malta and left to the country’s government after wrapping. They’ve done nothing to keep it up, but it does function as a tourist attraction if you’re up for a visit.

#7. The Bar None Ranch (Hey, Dude!)

Image Credit: Nickelodeon

Image Credit: YouTube

If you’re a millennial, this probably looks familiar, but Nickelodeon hasn’t used the set since 1991.

#8. Westworld Set Piece

Image Credit: HBO, Instagram

The Hawthorne Mall, in California, has been closed since 1999 but Hollywood can’t leave it alone – Taylor Swift also shot her “Ready For It” music video inside.

#9. District 12 (The Hunger Games)

Image Credit: Lionsgate, Instagram

The set, in Henry River Mill, NC, looks more like it belongs in the final installments of the trilogy cause it’s rundown and eerily empty.

#10. The American West in The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Image Credit: United Artists, Instagram

It’s actually Texas Hollywood and, oddly enough, stands untouched in Almeria, Spain. Huh.

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15 “Modern Classic” Films That People Believe Will Be Iconic in the Future

We can’t help but try to predict the future. From the next big fachion trend to cutting edge technology, humans love to hypothesize on what will come next. So, in that spirit, here are 15 movies that are already considered “modern classics” and might be even more special in the future.

#15. Her

“The movie “Her” also captures a really specific sense of alienation from the modern world (and finding comfort in the company of a machine) that no other movie has gotten quite right.”

#14. American Psycho

“Do you like American Psycho?

Christian Bale’s early work was a little too new wave for my tastes, but when American Psycho came out in 2000, I think he really came into his own, commercially and artistically. The whole movie has a clear, crisp look, and a new sheen of consummate professionalism that really gives the movie a big boost. His Bruce Wayne been compared to Michael Keaton’s, but I think Christian has a far more bitter, cynical sense of humor.”

#13. Toy Story

“Toy Story will be held as the turning point for animation, when 3D digital animation became mainstream and 2D animation began to diminish. It launched Pixar as one of the most successful studios in the world.

ETA: This is of course from a Western viewpoint as many have pointed out in the replies; Japanese animation studios are still producing high budget, high quality 2D animation. That being said, this doesn’t detract from the impact Toy Story had on modern cinema.”

#12. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

“Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Wish this movie was more popular. It does what a good movie should which is keep you thinking about it after you’ve seen it. It genuinely impacts you.”

#11. Shrek

“Shrek. Not counting just the memes behind it, it was one of the first CGI movies, had a strong message about being accepted, and had humor for all ages (while having a few less-than-kid-friendly jokes scattered about).

It also has the memes that have been going around for at least 5 years, ancient compared to the lifespan of most memes.”

#10. My Cousin Vinny

“My Cousin Vinny.

Law school students study it. It is still cited in the courts today.

Called one of, if not the most realistic portrayals of the practice of law on film.”

#9. A Nightmare Before Christmas

“Nightmare Before Christmas. What an art style.”

#8. The Truman Show

“The Truman Show. Way ahead of its time. This was a movie that really stuck with me. My favorite bit is when the show finally ends, and these people that have been watching for literally decades just go “hmmm, what else is on?” So subtle, yet poignant.”

#7. Oh Brother Where Art Thou

“Oh Brother Where Art Thou, and I’d like to think The Thin Red Line and True Romance will get greater recognition one day. People who are into films know them but a lot of people don’t.”

#6. Wall-E

“Wall-E definitely. Not only is it a gorgeous film, with the first half being a stellar ‘silent’ film but it carries messages of environmentalism and anti-consumerism which we are now starting to see fully the repercussions of in our own environment.”

#5. The Iron Giant

“The Iron Giant. By and far one of animations greatest tragedies but even after its tepid box office turnout this films significance & accomplishments are not wholly lost. The acting is on point, the animation superb and its message isn’t hackneyed or cookie cutter while also managing to explore the hysteria and anxiety of Cold War America in a manner palatable for children but cognizant enough that older viewers don’t feel talked down to.

I’d highly recommend Why The Iron Giant Is A Tragedy Of Animation it goes into great detail on WB animation, development of the film and the hand its marketing played in its box-office turnout.”

#4. The Dark Knight

“The Dark Knight revolutionized not just Batman but superhero movies in general.”

#3. Spirited Away

“Spirited Away or Princess Mononoke. Spirited away is the only traditionally animated film to win a non technical Oscar, the only non Western animated film to win an Oscar. It was the highest grossing film in Japan of all time for a long while, and is consistently ranked on the top 10 greatest movies of the 21st century, and top 100 of all time. With the exception of maybe a handful it won every award it was nominated for. And I can’t stress enough that it’s traditionally animated in a world where 99% of animated films are CGI, and the line between CGI and live action is more and more Blurred, a film like spirited away becomes more important as it is not only an opus of its medium, but also because the medium is dying or dead to most audiences. Spirited Away is also approachable by and easily enjoyed by anyone. It reflects positive themes of empowerment, respect, and Justice. Spirited also manages to repersent love between a male and a female that’s not romantic, but platonic and built on respect and admiration for one another.

Princess Mononoke is a better movie, in my opinion, but is probably less important to and for mainstream attention and study because it didn’t have the impact or approachability.”

#2. Groundhog Day

“Comedies are hard to predict, but I think that The Big Lebowski and Groundhog Day will still be watched a long time from now.”

#1. The Prestige

“The Prestige. It was overlooked I feel. And if Criterion is still a thing in 20 years, I think it’ll be one of their titles.”

A pretty solid list to be sure, but we’ll just have to wait and see!

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Twitter Thread Gives Us One More Reason to Love Star Wars Director Rian Johnson

Love or hate The Last Jedi, few can argue with the fact that director Rian Johnson has a unique vision and the ability to bring a fresh take on the science fiction genre to the screen. Which, if you love the genre, you have to appreciate – even if the end product is sometimes not for you.

Even better, it turns out that he is also a genuinely nice person who goes out of his way to treat strangers like human beings, so…bonus!

Check out this Twitter thread from Kumail Nanjiani, who encountered Johnson on a Comic Con red carpet the same day he realized how hard red carpet interviews are (totally true) and had already had a rough go.

Here’s what happened.

Photo Credit: Twitter

Doesn’t that just make you feel good about the world? You’re welcome!

h/t: Twitter

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15 People Confess What Television and Movie Inaccuracies Drive Them Absolutely Nuts

There are some inconsistencies or inaccuracies that can be forgiven, forgotten, or just plain glossed over. But when you’re watching something that falls within your area of expertise (or area of interest/obsession) mistakes can be hard to let go.

Fair warning: you may never be able to watch movies or television shows in the same, blissfully ignorant way again!

#15. Nails on a chalkboard

“Over and out”. As a former signal guy in the army this is like nails on a chalkboard. Especially when it’s said by a military or law enforcement person who should know better. “Over” means you’re expecting a response. “Out” means the conversation is done. “Over and out” literally means “talk to me and shut up”.”

#14. Order in the court

“That’s not at all how court cases work. If you yell at a witness, you’ll be thrown out.”

#13. History matters

“Perfect bright white teeth and immaculate makeup in ancient/old times.”

#12. A little too quick

“Actors looking at pixelated mess on screen that resembles Super Mario from NES. “Can you clean this image up?”

Nerdy, tattooed chick: “Sure”

click, zoom, click, zoom, zoom

Now it’s HD quality and you can read the serial number on the gun he’s using.

“Can you trace the buyer of that gun.”

click, click, scroll, click

“Done. It’s James Smith. click, click. I’ve triangulated his position and he’s three blocks away on 1st and 23rd, drinking a mocha latte. click, click His wife works for the KGB.”

“Let’s move!”

wut?”

#11. Anybody can do it

“Oh, the [thing] is protected! I need to hack into the mainframe.”

Five seconds later:

“Ok, I’m in!”

#10. Geography matters

“This is probably true of most major cities in movies, but Washington, DC, is the one I see most often. OK, we’re driving and there’s the Capitol! Now we’re passing the Lincoln Memorial! Now we’re in front of the White House! Where the fuck are you going???”

#9. What a cut-up

“Busting through glass with either no cuts or very minor cuts.”

#8. Genetic anomalies

“In the film Tiptoes, the entire conflict of the film develops from Kate Beckinsale finding out that the family of her fiance, Mathew McConaughey, are all dwarfs. But she’s pregnant with his child! Oh no! It might be a dwarf!

Except dwarfism is an autosomal dominant trait. If Matthew McConaughey isn’t a dwarf, and he clearly isn’t, there ain’t a lick of dwarfism in his alleles, masked or otherwise, and any baby of his has as much of a chance of being a dwarf as any other person’s child. Fuckin’ idiots.”

#7. Shenanigans

“Makeup. You just finished swimming for your life, sweating after running through a desert, or crying your eyes out? I’m sorry, but your mascara and eyeliner should be running down your face and/or giving you raccoon eyes, ma’am. You’re living in the middle of a dystopian apocalypse, but you still have time for and access to lipstick, blush, and mascara? I call shenanigans!”

#6. Sit down and eat your breakfast

“Mom cooks a full eggs-bacon-toast-sausage-pancakes-OJ-coffee breakfast on a weekday

Kid sits down for breakfast, serves himself/herself a heaping plate of everything

Conversation lasts 30 seconds, kid eats 2 bites of toast

Kid gets up and leaves for school, leaving a full plate of breakfast behind

If that had happened at my household, I would have gotten a chancleta to the face in record time.”

#5. Accurate medical use not required

“General defibrillator usage.”

#4. A not-so-deadly predator

“Using a red tailed hawk cry for every noise that every bird makes. It’s seriously like the Wilhelm scream of birds, only worse. A duck will fly by in the background and you’ll hear the screech of a deadly predator.”

#3. Someone’s getting fired

“When something changes from camera angle to camera angle. For example, when someone’s hair is on their shoulder when you look at them and then the camera flips to the other person in the conversation and then when it flips back to the other person their hair is off their shoulder. I always pick up on it and it drives me crazy!”

#2. Permanent car wash

“When filming through a car windscreen you never see the dusty bits round the edge of the screen where the wipers don’t reach. Every car on the road has dusty bits round the edge of the screen, unless it’s just been washed ten minutes earlier.”

#1. Unrealistic expectations

“People that make minimum wage owning large apartments in NYC. That and how ex’s will come back if you try really hard.”

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