15 People Reveal Their Most Embarrassing Moment With a Total Stranger

Oh reddit… you entertain us for hours and hours…

The question was this: What’s the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in with a stranger?

Listen, meeting new people is nothing new, and most of the time we can navigate all of that with relative ease. But what happens when things go south quick and we just can’t fucking even?

12,000+ comments later… we have these gems!

1. Dat ass!

I was at a bar with some friends watching a basketball game, and this guy kept asking me to check out his girlfriend every time she went away.

For example, when she got up to go outside for some air, he stayed in and was like: “Be honest, is that not the best butt you’ve ever seen?”

He did this several times. I felt so uncomfortable, and there’s no nice way of putting it — she wasn’t attractive whatsoever to me.

I’m glad that guy is happy with her, though.

2. Awkward, but necessary…

My boyfriend and I were with another friend and we were walking home from a movie.

We came across a guy sitting in a small patch of grass rocking back and forth. My boyfriend wanted to keep walking, but I felt the need to ask if he was okay. He immediately broke down and said he wanted to end it all. It turned into a really awkward situation because the other two didn’t know what to do.

We ended up sitting with him for a while as he broke down, and we called emergency services because he was apparently very far from home.

He eventually calmed down enough and we drove him to the hospital. He was very thankful once he was there and safe.

I still think about him every time I walk past that patch of grass, I really hope he is okay.

3. “I could be!”

On a trip to Orlando, my husband, son, and I spent some time in the swimming pool at our hotel.

There was a large family enjoying a family reunion at the hotel that week as well. They were a super nice family! We were all kind of hanging out together and our kids were playing.

Well, imagine my surprise when I watched my husband swim into the shallow end and wrap his arms around a woman standing there.

He burst out of the water and said, “Oh, you’re not my wife!” to the 50-something lady.

She said, “I could be!”

He has since had Lasik!

4. What. A. Dick.

A woman at a gas station didn’t know how to put air in her tires, so I helped her.

She called her husband on speaker phone to let him know she found some nice man to help her. Then, I heard him call her an idiot and say that I was only helping her because I wanted to get together with her.

She stammered and tried to explain that nothing was going on between us.

After she got off the phone, she looked at me as if her husband just caught her cheating. No thank you; nothing.

And for some reason, I felt guilty for even helping her out.

5. British things…

Not long ago, I made a short visit to the local supermarket on my usual dog walk.

My dog was tied up outside, and as I was crouched down to unclip him a woman came out of the shop and fell over me.

For a few brief seconds, I was sandwiched between my dog and an old woman.

We’re British though, so everyone looked embarrassed and we both said sorry.

6. Nose rip!

The most awkward moment of my life thus far was with a stranger. I was in a Quebec airport going through customs with my family. Because of some recent changes to their system, they didn’t have everyone in a line, but instead in a large pen where they would release around 50 people at a time.

When my family got to the front, they released us and everyone was running forward in a mass, trying to get to the kiosks. Next to me was a tall Swedish man trying to get his family a kiosk; he was running forward and waving his arm behind him in a “come on” motion, clearly frantic. Well, somehow his middle and pointer fingers went perfectly into my two nose holes.

As he then ripped his arm upwards to motion his family forward, my nose was also ripped forward, and I immediately began bleeding everywhere.

He looked at me in horror, and the customs agents looked at me in bewilderment. The language barriers made the situation all the more awkward!

7. Standing novation

It was my first time voting in a presidential election and my polling place was at a library.

When I got to the front of the line and started filling out the required papers, I mentioned that it was my first time and asked what to do next.

After hearing this, the woman who was working there raised her voice and said “Hey everyone, we’ve got a first-time voter here!”

She started clapping so they would all clap as well.

Nobody clapped, and I was just standing there really embarrassed before quietly saying, “Can I just go vote now?”

8. Pure fear!

One time, I was in a parking lot waiting to get into my friend’s dad’s car.

I saw a car that looked identical to the one I needed to get into, so I got into it.

It turned out, it was not the car I was supposed to be in.

The stranger’s expression of pure fear still pops into my head from time to time.

9. That amused sparkle…

This happened to me in Japan. I was in a clothing store and my wife was shopping.

Being the dutiful husband that I am, I remained silent and stayed out of the way, barely moving a muscle.

A little girl, maybe 4 years old, approached from one side and slipped her hand into mine.

I looked down. She must’ve thought “Wow, this mannequin’s hand is warm.” Then it clicked.

She looked up at me with such a look of terror.

In a flash, she was gone, and I hope she will forever remember with terror the amused sparkle in my eyes.

10. The gas station

When I was a teenager, my friends and I would spend the weekends staying up late playing video games and eating junk food. I was also a cross country runner, and on this particular night, I was experiencing some extreme chafing from a long run I took earlier that day.

While we were at the gas station getting Doritos and energy drinks, I announced to who I thought was my friend, “Man, my pecs really hurt.” Upon realizing it was a complete stranger with whom I had just shared this intimate detail, I simply stared at him and said, “You’re not my friend” and walked away.

I didn’t go back to that gas station for a long time.

11. Tickle, tickle, tickle…

My wife and I went out for a drink one night.

We walked into the bar and I immediately saw someone I knew. I walked up behind him and tickled his sides. It turned out, I didn’t know this person.

He just gave me a weird look and walked away. We got his spot at the bar though.

12. Hey franges!!

I had just pulled into a parking spot at the mall. I saw my friend and his girlfriend pull in a few spaces past mine.

Thinking it would be funny, I snuck up to their car and started slapping their window like a crazy person.

It turned out, it was not them in that car.

I still cringe years later remembering the look of pure terror on that poor girl’s face.

13. Deleted!

I was at a bar with my brother’s old phone.

A random girl asked me if she could use my phone to call her own because she had lost it. She began dialing her number and bam, right there on the screen is her name saved on my phone.

My brother’s contacts must have transferred when I took his phone. Her eyes got real big and she looked up at me with what could only be described as confused fear!

I tried to ask her if she knew my brother, to which she said she did, but she was obviously still weirded out.

She deleted her number from the phone and fled so fast.

14. You’re not my dad!

We were lining up for Disney’s Tower of Terror.

12-year-old me spent the entire lineup desperately trying to catch the attention of a cute guy who was there with his dad. I ended up sitting in the same car as him on the ride.

As the ride started, I grabbed my mom’s hand for support.

Near the end, I realized that my mom was on the other side of me and I’d been holding hands with the cute guy’s dad the entire time.

15. Cheese explosion!

During my first week at college as a freshman, I wandered into the cafeteria, still unsure of how things worked.

I spotted a pizza station and waited in line. I grabbed a slice of pizza with the pizza slice grabber, but the scalding hot pizza slid off and landed face down on the cute girl’s foot behind me.

Sauce and hot cheese explode everywhere up her leg. And since it was the end of summer, she was wearing sandals.

In a panic, I muttered “I’m so sorry,” and ran out of the cafeteria without eating for the rest of the day.

16. “Nevermind me!”

I worked at Old Navy and some lady was looking at men’s shirts.

She stopped me and held up a shirt to me, asking if I thought it would fit her son. I looked around and no one else was there.

We stood in silence for maybe 30 seconds before she started laughing and said, “Oh! Haha, you don’t know my son; he lives in Michigan. Nevermind me! Haha.”

And then she went and bought it.

Those were the cringiest, craziest stories!

What’s yours?

The post 15 People Reveal Their Most Embarrassing Moment With a Total Stranger appeared first on UberFacts.

15 “Game of Thrones” Tumblr Jokes That Are Worthy of The Iron Throne

Was that a tremendous episode on Sunday or what?

All the feels were felt and then many sighs of relief were had.

Folks on Tumblr were watching and they had some thing to say too.

Check it! BTW SPOILERS. Do not scroll past this point if you haven’t seen Season 8, Episode 3!!

1. Lyanna. Is. Legend.

https://captainsamericaa.tumblr.com/post/184517294909/lyanna-mormont-died-doing-what-she-loved-most

2. Snitches get stitches… which oddly applies in this case.

https://nys30.tumblr.com/post/184517700489

3. Sup?

https://izuniias.tumblr.com/post/184518193186/bran-and-the-night-king-during-their-stare-off

4. Perfect reference.

https://ifluffysquirrel.tumblr.com/post/184518164209/actual-dialogue-in-that-fight

5. Ghost? You still here or…

https://oh-no-its-elle.tumblr.com/post/184518297498/not-knowing-if-ghost-really-didnt-make-it-or-if

6. Anybody still alive? Cool.

https://she-wolf-of-highgarden.tumblr.com/post/184517221314/after-this-episode

7. Protect and serve!

https://artoounit.tumblr.com/post/184517455479/brienne-taking-out-wights-to-save-jaime

8. I’ll never look at that silent motherfu**er the same way again…

https://unluckyside.tumblr.com/post/184517741407/the-night-king-walks-like-an-overconfident-frat

9. A girl with no name killed it

https://thewolfnymeria.tumblr.com/post/184517342304/me-arya-when-she-does-anything-ever

10. What makes you think I won’t cut you?

https://elizabthturner.tumblr.com/post/184517382073/lyanna-mormont-getting-up-to-fight-the-undead

11. Get it Arya!

https://queen-sansaofhousestark.tumblr.com/post/184517231134/arya-stark-ladies-and-gentlemen

12. The Hound brings it back!

https://thefandomsinhalor.tumblr.com/post/184517399476/the-hound-fuck-this-im-out-beric-dondarrion

13. 3000 is an Avengers: Endgame reference. Just roll with it.

https://drawntothedarkside.tumblr.com/post/184517784393/theon-greyjoy-i-want-you-to-know-that-you-were-a

14. Pure icon stuff

https://starkofthrones.tumblr.com/post/184517243928/miss-lyanna-killed-the-giant

15. Let them live!

https://hereand-whereyou-are.tumblr.com/post/184518044773/every-time-they-made-it-seem-like-jaime-or-brienne

Next week we get to see Daenerys and Cersei face off?

Finally!!!!!

The post 15 “Game of Thrones” Tumblr Jokes That Are Worthy of The Iron Throne appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Hilarious Memes That Every Parent Can Relate To

If you’re a parent, or even if you’re not, these memes are relatable AF.

Still, this is for all the parents out there, who tirelessly put up with their kids’ bullshit.

You have our respect.

1. Good life rules…

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. OMFG… you’re going to kill us all…

Photo Credit: Someecards

3. Oh? Yes? What? Who?

Photo Credit: Someecards

4. Come on kid! You need to alert me to these things!

Photo Credit: Someecards

5. Why not?

Photo Credit: Someecards

6. Truer words…

Photo Credit: Someecards

7. Oh realllllllyyyyyyy….

Photo Credit: Someecards

8. They love it.

Photo Credit: Someecards

9. They. Don’t. Care.

Photo Credit: Someecards

10. I’m not frazzled. Who’s frazzled? Not me!

Photo Credit: Someecards

11. Pretty much!

Photo Credit: Someecards

12. Child of the year!

Photo Credit: Someecards

13. See! I’m perfect too!

Photo Credit: Someecards

You know what’s fun? Sharing posts with your mommy and daddy friends.

Because what’s nicer than being tagged in a funny meme?

Answer: nothing.

The post 10+ Hilarious Memes That Every Parent Can Relate To appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Times People Had The Most Awkward Situations With A Stranger

The question on reddit was simple: “What’s the most awkward situation you’ve ever been in with a stranger?”

Being in awkward situations is a nightmare scenario for many people. They would do anything to avoid awkwardness with somebody they don’t know. My question: why?

If you just LAUGH immediately at the situation, and acknowledge the inherent humor of it all, the entire situation is diffused. No weird anxiety. And if the other person or people don’t laugh, oh well. That’s on them. Yes, yes… easier said than done, but this method has been working for me for years and it hasn’t failed me yet.

Still, it’s fun to read when things went super awkward for others, so here are 15 of the best from that Ask Reddit thread.

Enjoy!

1. “This set off the assault alarm…”

On the first day of my new job, I was in the elevator going up five floors.

As the doors were closing, a girl barged through and thumped her backpack down.

This set off the assault alarm in the external pocket of her bag.

So awkward.

2. “I found him half in a cupboard, soaking wet, with his hand on a burst water pipe.”

While my dad was out of the country, there was a major leak from the water tank in the loft which caused serious damage to the property, including a hole in the ceiling.

I called a repair guy. While he was working on the leak, I heard a huge “boom,” followed by a string of expletives before he called for help. I found him half in a cupboard, soaking wet, with his hand on a burst water pipe.

I ended up having to help. This involved me climbing up to the loft (in a short dress and stockings while he was basically laid on the floor underneath the ladder) and trying to turn off the water from there. This didn’t work, so we ended up switching places so he could professionally investigate.

Swapping places involved me getting soaking wet, and having to press up against the guy to minimize the risk of further damage.

3. “…he gave me a REALLY strange look when I walked in.”

My girlfriend and I were eating with some friends and I needed to go to the bathroom. It was open, so I walked right on in.

The room was pretty big, with a urinal and sink on one side, and a toilet on the opposite side. There was a guy in at the urinal and he gave me a REALLY strange look when I walked in.

I went on over to the toilet, went #1, then totally realized I was in a SINGLE PERSON BATHROOM.

By that point, the guy had hastily run out after finishing his business. I took care of my own affairs and had to do the walk of shame past him as I walked back to my table.

I told my significant other later that night and she thought it was hilarious.

4. “…I saw her jacket and reached over to grab her.”

At an art studio in LA, my girlfriend was wearing a denim jacket.

As we looked at a piece together, out of the corner of my eye, I saw her jacket and reached over to grab her.

A sudden “Oh!” could be heard from beside me and a woman 30 years older than me was just standing there, blushing.

I told her I thought she was someone else, then ran away to my girlfriend.

A few minutes later, the lady found us to talk about young love and how cute we were together.

5. “Do you have a large Woody?”

My son had small Toy Story figurines but wanted big ones for Christmas.

I walked into Toys R Us and asked the male clerk, “Do you have a large Woody?”

He turned bright red.

I wheeled around, marched out and didn’t go back for months.

6. “See this nice man? You should go on a date with him!”

I serve in the Air Force. One time, I got injured at work and had to go to the hospital. Nothing serious; I just dinged my finger super hard ( and messed up the ligament).

When I got to the hospital, I walked through the front door, still in uniform. Some nice older man came up to me and thanked me for my service. I told him I appreciated his support, and then he abruptly asked me if I was married.

As soon as I told him no, he turned to a random woman walking by and said something along the lines of: “See this nice man? You should go on a date with him!”

At first, I thought maybe he knew the woman, but by the shocked look on her face, I could easily tell he did NOT know her. She stopped for a moment and he asked her again. She just went wide-eyed, kind of stuttered for a moment and then bee-lined it for the door.

I really didn’t know what to say.

7. “Probably only 5% of them knew of my existence.”

I was adopted at birth. I learned who my birth family was in when I was in my early 30s. I met one of my sisters, but nobody else yet.

My sister told me that our grandpa was going to be taken off life support and that he wanted to talk to me before he died. We traveled to the hospital, which was several hours away. We met our mom in the hospital lobby for the first time ever, then went into grandpa’s room together. All of our family members were there to say their goodbyes.

Probably only 5% of them knew of my existence. Suddenly, all the attention was on me, the stranger. They had me kneel by his side as he apologized through tears for pressuring my mom, who I just met, to give me away for adoption years ago. People looked pretty shocked. The experience flooded me with a thousand emotions, and awkward was definitely in there somewhere.

8. “He then let out giant flatulence.”

I was at a wedding reception and went to use the bathroom. I was standing at the urinal when a guy came up to me.

He then let out giant flatulence.

“Oof, check out the smell of this! Whew! You gotta let ‘em out here and not by those girls, you know?”

And I just go “Ha! Yep,” and walk out.

I felt very uncomfortable.

9. “Then, her mother raised the girl’s right arm to show me…”

I worked at the entrance gate to a theme park. We used a biometric scanner to verify the identities of our season pass holders. They would scan their pass, then scan their right index finger to get in.

One day, a little girl walked up with her family, who only spoke Spanish. She scanned her pass and then placed her left finger on the scanner.

I asked her, “Could you use your right finger sweetie?”

Then, her mother raised the girl’s right arm to show me she didn’t have a right hand.

Seemed to be due to a birth defect rather than a horrific accident.

10. “…I immediately assumed it was some kind of monster.”

I went for a bike ride in my neighborhood at about 12 a.m. It was pitch black other than a couple of streetlights that were lit every 5 or 6 houses.

I was kind of just zoning out, enjoying the fresh air, when something moved in the corner of my eye. I turned my head to look, and I immediately assumed it was some kind of monster. I let out an extremely loud, bloodcurdling scream in the middle of the night in a silent suburban neighborhood. The mysterious figure turned out to be a blond soccer mom, who screamed right back at me.

I zipped past her on my bike, yelling, “Oh my god I’m so sorry!” over and over again until I got off the street.

11. “All 320 pounds of him came down on top of me…”

I’m a pediatric nurse, but we “float” to other floors when we have more nurses than we need. One time, I was sent to an adult floor to work as an assistant since theirs had called in sick.

An older male patient called out asking for help to get up to the bathroom. He stood, tried to pivot, and his newly operated knee gave out. All 320 pounds of him came down on top of me and we laid there for almost an hour. I had closed the door for privacy, and neither he nor I could yell loud enough to get anyone’s attention.

My phone was 10 feet from me on the floor after it fell out of my scrubs and it rang incessantly. Finally, the other assistant came to find me. The patient was fine since he fell on me, but I was sore for a week. We were nose to nose the whole time and boy was it awkward.

12. “We were so unnerved we ended up holding one another…”

I discovered, whilst at the top of St Paul’s Cathedral, that I am terrified of heights.

A Norwegian woman was having the same experience. We were so unnerved we ended up holding one another and bumping down the spiral staircase on our backsides.

We parted ways at the bottom without a word or a backward glance.

13. “Instead of jumping into my arms, he started recoiling back…”

One time, I was at a dog groomer’s to pick up my dog. He’s fairly small and white. Usually, he just gets a short trim, so that’s what I always expect to see.

I walked up to the counter and requested for my dog. The clerk told me he’d be out in a moment. 30 seconds later, an attendant walked out to the lobby from the back door with a dog that immediately ran to me.

“Hey, buddy!” I said as I walked up and attempted to pick up him. Instead of jumping into my arms, he started recoiling back and gave me a nip. An old man behind me then asked, “Hey, is that your dog?” Thinking that was a pretty weird question, I responded, “Yep!”

At that point, he said, “I don’t think so mister, that’s my dog.” When I took a closer look, I realized the dog looked exactly like mine after grooming.

My face went completely red and the whole lobby started laughing.

14. “Thanks! Hope you find a friend soon!”

I was with my mom buying flowers at a florist for a New Year’s Eve party. The florist was obviously a very lonely woman and wouldn’t stop going on about how she wasn’t doing anything for New Year’s. My mother really felt for her.

One thing to know about my mom is that every now and again, she has a tactless episode and accidentally says what she is thinking out loud. That day was one of those rare days.

After paying for the flowers, my mom said, “Thanks! Hope you find a friend soon!” I looked at her in shock, and my mom gasped. She apologized immediately and literally backed out of the store.

It was so awkward.

15. “…and a bag of other unknown substances.”

In Denver, Colorado, I met some man with a giant suitcase full of stolen clothes and a ripped backpack that he asked me to carry. We stopped to take a break because the suitcase was like, 100 pounds.

Then, he told me to check out what was in the backpack. I unzipped it to find a bunch of over-the-counter pills and a bag of other unknown substances.

When he asked me if I wanted to try some, I just gave him his bag back and went away.

Large Woody… heheheheh.

He said Woody.

The post 15 Times People Had The Most Awkward Situations With A Stranger appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Memes That Night Shift Workers Will Definitely Relate To

If you’ve ever worked nights, you know how absolutely weird it is. The vast majority of the world is sleeping when you’re hard at work, and ot just seems like you’re out of sync with humanity.

Speaking of out of sync… you like to sleep, yeah? Well, then don’t work overnights!

Because, if you do, your sleep schedule will have to be completely transformed. Some are able to figure this out, but most are left wondering when in the hell are they going to get a better job.

Here are 15 times people who work at night shared their pain and made us feel better about our day lives.

1. Wait… you want me to work both nights AND days?!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. Pound that Red Bull, kids!

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. Go. Away. Now.

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. Oh man. So much this!

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. FINALLY!

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. But why?

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. One shift to rule them all…

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. Oh you!

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. Never thought about it like that, did ya!?

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. I’m sure it’ll work out… somehow…

Photo Credit: The Chive

12. What even is time anymore?!

Photo Credit: The Chive

13. Social life… I needs it! I wants it!

Photo Credit: The Chive

14. Not so happy hour…

Photo Credit: The Chive

15. Ohhhhhhh, we gonna have fun!

Photo Credit: The Chive

I tip my hat to nurses and firefighters and first responders.

They’ve gotta stay alert and awake most times when we don’t.

You have my respect!

The post 15 Memes That Night Shift Workers Will Definitely Relate To appeared first on UberFacts.

12 of The Crazy Things People Actually Did During a Game of Truth or Dare

From cat licking to stealing money from church, people do some completely stupid shit when people just dare them.

So here’s something crazy… read this ENTIRE post.

I dare you!

1. But did he complain…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. I guess that’s all it takes to turn somebody in a felon!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. You didn’t see this coming? You dumb.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. You’re a god-damned legend!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Very specific dare. Cool.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Jokes on you!

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. I’ve heard it doesn’t taste THAT bad. But I will never know.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. A hairy situation…

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. How did that work exactly?!?

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Who’s the loser now?! Hahaha… hmmm…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. So… what gender are you again?

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. Oh. My. God.

Photo Credit: Whisper

The post 12 of The Crazy Things People Actually Did During a Game of Truth or Dare appeared first on UberFacts.

20 Women Share What Happened After Someone Stole Their Baby Name

Ok, maybe it’s just because I’m a guy, but I don’t really see the big deal here. There are so many people with the same name out there, does it really matter THAT much if someone else has it too?

Then again, when it comes to TRULY unique names (like “Margoux,” for instance), I guess I can understand why someone would get upset.

1 Okay, that’s fucked up.

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Well, you don’t own a name, so…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Not something to get violent over, dummy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. You didn’t realize it for 2 years, but realized it for 2 more? Don’t be a professional victim…

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. We always hurt the ones we love…

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Yeah, but she’s 18. She’s not smart enough to think of something cool. So that’s on you!

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Might or will?

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Gripe. Her. Out.

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. Then. Use. It.

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. I’m guessing they didn’t get that wrong.

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Boom.

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. With THAT spelling? Okay, that’s fucked.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. So… why are you calling her your best friend…

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. Can you really steal a name?

Photo Credit: Whisper

15. Then blame your husband!

Photo Credit: Whisper

16. Just tell her!

Photo Credit: Whisper

17. Oh… that’s great revenge! Well done!

Photo Credit: Whisper

18. People should ask if it’s okay… but maybe they’re afraid of the answer?

Photo Credit: Whisper

19. Obviously…

Photo Credit: Whisper

20. What? Did you have the name stored in a box somewhere like a weird little secret?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

So much pettiness, so little time…

The post 20 Women Share What Happened After Someone Stole Their Baby Name appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Crimes Against Food That Deserve Prison Time

What? Is? Wrong? With? People?

I didn’t think that reading all of these super weird/disgusting/horrible food combos would upset me so much… but yeah… I’m upset. Like REALLY way too upset.

Why do you do this to food, people? How do you think this is right?

Sorry in advance for the complete and absolute destruction of your current future appetites.

1. Disgusting word of the year: creamify

“This kid I knew in school used to rip open his milk carton and dip his burrito into his chocolate milk.

Sometimes he’d even go so far as to rip open the burrito itself and pour his milk onto the beef and eggs in order to (and I’m quoting him here) ‘creamify the meat.’

I don’t know, man, the word ‘creamify’ is just… ugh.”

2. This bothers everybody

“My mom’s boyfriend. Crushed Cheez-It crackers.

Into his coffee.

Mom said I shouldn’t let it bother me.

It bothers me.”

3. Okay, I’m done. I can’t do this any longer.

“I work at a pub waiting tables.

One day, this couple walked in who I’d never seen, but were apparently regulars. The bartender saw them, shot me a glance, and went to grab something from the kitchen.

Before even taking their order, he’d filled the crushed red pepper shaker and told me to take it over to them. The woman ordered a small cup of french onion soup and proceeded to unscrew the cap of this shaker and dump THE ENTIRETY of it onto her soup.

She was eating spicy red pepper like cereal and didn’t even ask for a drink refill.”

4. Oh god! I didn’t stop. Why?!?!?

“Saw a dude eat spaghetti in milk one time.

One very dark time.”

5. I’m officially dead.

“I used to work as a bartender.

One day, a middle-aged man walked in and ordered a beer with milk.”

6. Your extended family is pit full of food-ruining vipers and must be stopped!

“My wife likes to make crunchy peanut butter and bologna sandwiches (with cheese). Her mom also adds mayo.

I just can’t bring myself to try it — literally start retching at the thought of the flavor.”

7. You no good, dirty sonofabitch…

“I watched a guy pour Sprite into a nice $50 bottle of wine because he didn’t like the flavor.”

8. OMFG!

“My baby sister used to eat pancakes with ranch dressing.

My mom just accepted it because she was SUCH a picky eater, and this was something she just thoroughly enjoyed.

We’re pretty sure it’s because my mom craved both (though separately) when she was pregnant with her.”

9. Purple cow? More like purple garbage can!

“When I visited my aunt’s family as a kid she served a ‘purple cow’ — milk mixed with grape juice — for breakfast.

If you haven’t tasted that, take my word for it.

It’s not a great concoction.”

10. Went too far.

“I used to be obsessed with A1 steak sauce. I would put it on EVERYTHING possible because I loved it so much. One day, I put it on jello.

I no longer enjoy A1.”

11. A complete nutter

“My mom puts peanut butter on cold pizza.

It is the closest flavor to vomit that is not vomit.”

12. Christ on a cracker!

“My sister would make Ritz cracker ‘sandwiches,’ except the thing that went between the two Ritz cracker ‘buns’ was ANOTHER Ritz cracker…except she’d chewed it up and spit it out onto the other two.

It was disgusting.”

13. You get a divorce IMMEDIATELY! You hear me?!?

“My wife dips her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into SpaghettiOs.”

14. Sir, you are in PUBLIC?!

“There was a dude in my dining hall that had a plate of sunny-side-up eggs.

Scooped under an egg with his fork, brought it up to his mouth, and only touched his lips to the yolk. Proceeded to suck all the yolk, and then slurped the rest of the egg in.

It was like a car crash; I couldn’t look away but I was horrified.”

15. We will no longer be talking to each other. Thank you. Bye!

“A couple of years ago when my best friend and I were still in college, she stayed over at my place a few times.

It was then that I learned that she liked dipping cheese into hot chocolate. Like, full on dunking it in, waiting for it to partially melt, swirling it around, and then eating it.

I love her to bits, she’s like my sister…but I still haven’t entirely recovered.”

*shudder*

I need a shower.

The post 15 Crimes Against Food That Deserve Prison Time appeared first on UberFacts.

14 People Who Snuck Out on a One Night Stand With No F***s Given

Okay, looks like we’ve found a bunch of people who do not give a single fuck about what they do or how their actions will make others feel.

And hey, that’s okay. At least they own up to being horrible people.

Because, for real, if you puke in or take a shit in somebody’s bed and just leave it for them to clean up… you are a horrible, horrible person.

So yeah! Get ready for 14 tales that will make you cringe.

1. Walk of shame, indeed!

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Now that’s a best friend!

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Is she dead? No. Okay, back to bed!

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Well, that plan backfired!

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Well, you should regret at least one thing.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. What a weirdo…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. I don’t believe this for a moment. This never happens.

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Oh… that’s cold.

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. But what if he found out later…

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Come on… you drew actual blood?!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. A moment of clarity…

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. Hahaha, that fucking photo…

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. He cleaned up YOUR vomit? Wow.

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. Okay, now I want to know!

Photo Credit: Whisper

I’m so glad I would never do any of these things.

*pats self on back and buys himself some ice cream for not being a psychopath*

The post 14 People Who Snuck Out on a One Night Stand With No F***s Given appeared first on UberFacts.

Epic Text Thread About Cake Decorating, Lies & a Girl Named Trisha Goes Viral

Meet Josh, who is apparently a genius with cakes!

Photo Credit: reddit

Josh is texting with his “friend” Trisha.

And Trisha is not buying Josh’s bulls**t about cakes.

Photo Credit: reddit

Oh Josh, don’t try to convince Trisha that you did anything to that cake.

She clearly knows you’re lying.

Just own up to it.

Photo Credit: reddit

Oh. You doubled down?

And…. yep!

Trisha totally called you on it.

Photo Credit: reddit

Wait… you’re tripling down?

Has that ever been attempted in the history of lying about baking and/or decorating cakes?!

Photo Credit: reddit

You do realize that Trisha is completely immune to your attempts at making her feel bad, right?

She does not give ONE SINGLE F**K about your feelings.

What I’m saying is Trisha will destroy you if you keep giving her the chance.

Photo Credit: reddit

Wait WHAT?!?!

You’re quadrupling down?

Has that ever been attempted in the history of lying about baking and/or decorating birthday cakes for nieces?!?!?

Photo Credit: reddit

Oh Josh.

Josh, Josh, Josh…

You know what you have to do, right?

Photo Credit: reddit

No. NO!!!!

Trying to confuse Trisha isn’t what you’re supposed to do!

Trisha is CLEARLY much, much, much, much, much smarter than you.

Like, sooooooooo much smarter.

She is not to be f**ked with.

Photo Credit: reddit

Best to come clean.

Better late than never!

Photo Credit: reddit

I don’t know buddy… looks like you’ve still got a shot with Trisha!

The post Epic Text Thread About Cake Decorating, Lies & a Girl Named Trisha Goes Viral appeared first on UberFacts.