These Anxiety Memes Will Make Today 3% Better

You need to have a sense of humor in life about the hard stuff. Anxiety is definitely one of those tough things that many, many people have to deal with on a daily basis.

Hopefully, these 11 memes will make you laugh and give you at least a moment’s break from your anxiousness.

1. OMG… does this exist?!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. Welcome to the thunderdome!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. Oh brain… you’re such a brain…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. Insomnia… hello again my old friend…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. I love that episode!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Oh yeah… I hate myself…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. Yeah, but what about NOT doing something together?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. Look what’s back!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Yeah, but…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Upside? If he stays, he’s trapped!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Those fucking dots…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Ahhhhh… those made me hate myself just a little bit less. But just a little bit less. Maybe 3% less hate for myself now. Okay, 4%. I’ll give myself that.

What about you? How much less do you hate yourself? 5%? 6%? Possibly even 8%?

Let us know in the comments!

The post These Anxiety Memes Will Make Today 3% Better appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Memes Filled With Just Enough Randomness to Make You Laugh

What’s better than random memes to begin your day?

Joy? Happiness? Fulfillment? Self satisfaction? Self acceptance? Inner peace?

Yeah, all of those things are MYTHS. Let’s get to the real real…

1. Who needs brains? We just need feels.

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. This!

Photo Credit: Someecards

3. Oh look… my life!

Photo Credit: Someecards

4. It’s 530 somewhere…. **burp**

Photo Credit: Someecards

5. Wut you lookin at mate?

Photo Credit: Someecards

6. Go hard or go home

Photo Credit: Someecards

7. Nailed it!

Photo Credit: Someecards

8. I ran into this recently…

Photo Credit: Someecards

9. Exquisite!

Photo Credit: Someecards

10. Can’t stop, won’t stop…

Photo Credit: Someecards

11. Is that a Bugatti???

Photo Credit: Someecards

12. Gaslighters Anonymous!

Photo Credit: Someecards

Ahhh… after a dozen memes I feel like a real person. It’s like a good, hot shower, only it’s me sitting on my couch, thumbing through my phone like a garbage person.

Ya know… same thing, right?

But those are my two cents… what are yours? Let us know in the comments!

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These Memes are for People With Anxiety Who Need a Laugh Today

What’s the point of life if you don’t have a sense of humor? It helps us deal with the truly awful stuff.

Anxiety is definitely one of those tough things that basically everybody has to deal with, but isn’t that unifying?! Yeah it is!

These 12 memes will make you laugh and give you at least a moment’s break from your anxiousness.

1. Oh yeah. I forgot about those…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. Works every time!!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. If only…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. I’m pretty sure they don’t hate me THAT much, right?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. Ahhh… just like always!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Somebody actually got this!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. They grow up so fast!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. You know what anxiety? You need to SHUT UP!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Yep, checks out!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Every. Single. Day.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Do I have to use it all at once, or…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

12. You’re gonna make me care, aren’t you???

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Feeling less anxious? No? Me neither, but… I’m laughing. And maybe I’ll be able to live with myself tomorrow.

Probably not. We’ll see.

Which of these are your faves? Let us know in the comments!

The post These Memes are for People With Anxiety Who Need a Laugh Today appeared first on UberFacts.

If Kids Aren’t Your Thing, These Memes Are For You

Are you the type of person who does NOT want to have kids? Hey! Me too!!

We hate the idea that our independence will be threatened by bedtimes, diaper changes, responsibilities, crying, and snot leakage.

Yeah… completely understandable reasons, fam!

If you’re one of those people, these memes pretty much sum up your outlook on life and kids, so let’s go!

1. Seriously the worst!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

2. This won’t end well…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

3. Stop looking at me!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

4. Too late… already do this…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

5. The right response…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

6. Get away from me, you devil child!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

7. Wut sup!?

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

8. Get it away!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

9. Move away from the child…

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

10. OMG… YES!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

11. Yes? No? Hmmm, better take all of the birth control then!

Photo Credit: Pizzabottle

So, you’re going out to the store right now to gets some condoms, right? Because there’s NO way you want to have a little you running around. That would be horrible.

What do you think? One of these speak to you in a special way?

Let us know in the comments!

The post If Kids Aren’t Your Thing, These Memes Are For You appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Dark Secrets in Their Families

There are some crazy families out there, and then there are THESE families.

When people ask questions on AskReddit, you know you’re going to get some juicy tidbits, but I don’t think you’re prepared for exactly how juicy it’s gonna get!

Ready? Set? Share!

1. An On-Purpose Accident

“My uncle was pissed at my dad once, and decided to poke holes in all of his condoms. He was dating my mother at the time, and that is how I came about. I wasn’t supposed to know, but my uncle told me once when he was drunk. I am thankful he did it, but that was a pretty douche move.”

2. “Not table conversation”

“We had a family Christmas dinner a few years ago where my aunt and uncles from both sides were staying over at our house. There were probably 10 or 11 of us at the dinner table, and everyone is getting along well like we always do. My cousin, around 14 or 15 at the time, brings up something about how he laid a massive poop earlier that day. The kids laugh and the adults were like ‘that’s not table conversation.’ Then I jump in and say ‘haha yea, there’s things we don’t talk at the dinner table, like politics and illegitimate children.’ Every adult at the table drops their eyes to their plate and goes silent. I’m sitting there like uhhhh, what in the Woody Allen movie is so awkward about all this .

What I didn’t know is that my uncle had an illegitimate child many years ago and thats always been a point of contention between my aunt and him. They also had been arguing about that earlier in the day, and all the adults knew it. Hahah man, that was jokes. But seriously though, never make jokes about illegitimate children unless you are absolutely sure no one has one.”

3. Family Tree

“I recently learned that my mother is the child of an affair. And that my grandfather was illegitimate royal blood from Russia.”

4. “Pet name”

“My family is mostly Portuguese. It used to be completely so, but my paternal grandfather married a French woman. All my life my grandfather called her something in Portuguese that I couldn’t understand. Last year at Thanksgiving I found out it meant ‘The French Whore.’ My grandfather’s parents hated her and called her that. My grandfather decided to own it and made it a pet name.”

5. Piano

“I found out that my mom had an affair with my piano teacher. Not sure that my dad even knows…”

6. “Haunted her till the day she died”

“I am named after my great aunt. I was told by my mother and my grandmother that she died a few years before I was born in a terrible motorcycle accident. I was also told never to bring up my great aunt’s name around my great grandmother as the loss of her daughter still troubled her. Understandable. Nothing was ever mentioned or said and I grew up understanding only the barest of details about her and her passing. A little odd to not know much about the person I was named after, but, whatever.

When I was 24, my great grandmother passed away. At the meal after her wake, my great uncle gets drunk and starts letting all the family secrets fly out.

In passing, he mentioned my great aunt’s suicide and everyone at the table solemnly nodded their heads, except for me. ‘What suicide?’ I asked, ‘Gran told me she died in a motorcycle accident.’

‘Yeah, that was the cover story,’ he replied, ‘Your great grandmother was too embarrassed to tell anyone what really happened and she had to explain the closed-casket at her daughter’s funeral.’

I came to find out my great aunt was a lesbian and in love with a woman from her university. The other woman felt the same way and they hatched plans to figure out a way to be together without their parents knowing. When my great grandmother discovered their plans, she went mental and sent my great aunt half way across the country to separate the two. Little did she know that both women had made a suicide pact that if this were to happen, they would shoot themselves in the head, which they did. My great grandmother, in her homophobia, caused two young women, in love, to kill themselves.Apparently she never forgave herself for what she did and it haunted her till the day she died.

After I found out the truth, I was first incredulous that my entire family had lied to me about the origin of my name, and second, I was deeply disturbed that to ease my great grandmother’s guilt and shame everyone accepted the lie.

Since then, I tell as many people the truth as are willing to listen so that my great aunt’s memory is served. Which is why I am posting this here. Every year since I found out, I have attended Pride. I donate to LGBT charities. I volunteer for LGBT organizations. All in her memory. If certain resources and volunteer organizations existed then as they do now, I might have a totally awesome, motorcycle-riding, great aunt to hang out with.”

7. Cross-Country Move

“The only reason my family is in California instead of New York is because my dad’s father wanted to follow his mistress (which nobody knew about until he died) to California, so he uprooted his entire family and made them move over here.”

8. Hungarian is a weird language

“All this time my family thought that my weird Hungarian last name meant ‘boat builder.’

Well, recently we were enlightened to learn that the closest meaning is actually ‘man who goes around the village at night and picks up the poop buckets from doorsteps.’

9. “Dad doesn’t know”

“My dad doesn’t know that I know that I have two younger brothers and a sister.

I’m also trying to look for them.”

10. Mental Institution

“My grandfather had a younger brother who was mentally disabled.

He pretty much took care of this brother completely until he was about 18, when he left for college. He came back and the brother had been put in a mental institution for months/years. No one had told my grandfather.

My mother only recently found out about him.”

11. Passing

“My dad recently told me a family story of one of his older, distant relatives; we’ll call her Jill. This all happened some 70 years ago, a good 20 years before my father was born. It’s a bit unclear what actually happened, but I’ll try my best to piece it together.

Jill was a ‘plain’ looking girl who was raised on a small, country farm. Being a bit of a quiet tomboy, she didn’t go to school, but took care of the farm’s horses instead.

One day in her teenage years, Jill was in the stables when something spooked one of the horses. It reared up and kicked Jill in the face. Since there was very limited medical surgery, she ended up somewhat disfigured and scarred. She withdrew from much of society and lived solely on the farm as a hermit.

Years of isolation pass and one day, Jill vanishes.

Perhaps her immediate family knew, but no extended family were ever told what happened. That is it, until they were notified of her death four years later. You see it turns out, Jill had run away and enlisted in the army. She had fought overseas in WWII, and had been killed.

Now that might not seem like much of a story, but keep in mind that only men fought in WWII. Jill had somehow managed to pose as a man for four years in the army without being detected, and it was her death that gave her away.

Considering the rest of my family history isn’t very exciting, I think it’s a pretty cool story.”

12. “And they all came to visit”

“So my grandfather is roughly 80 and has five kids (one of which is my father) all ranging from ages 40-50. Well about three years ago, he had a knock on the door, and it turns out that he had a family before he met my grandmother in Iowa and never told anyone.

He had married his first wife in California when he was sent out there in the Navy, and had two or three kids with her. He went and got himself deployed, and she apparently left with the kids while he was gone. Being the mid 1900s, he never found them, so he went on a cross country trip to New York for some reason. Luckily for me, he met my grandmother and had five kids, never telling anyone about his former life. From what we understood he graduated school, went into the Navy after working on some farm for a couple years, and tried to go to New York before getting snagged by my grandma in Iowa.

Well while he was doing this, apparently wife #1 was moving around the country as well, and every couple years, put those kids in adoption, busted them out of adoption, had three more kids from three different dads, but kept my grandpas same last name. So one of the original first kids went on a mission to find my grandpa, found him, and they all came to visit.”

13. Film Hobby

An ex of mine was telling me that her father made films as a hobby of sorts and he actually had some success on the indie horror cult classic scene.

So one day I was bored and decided to Google his name and found a bunch of his films. In most of them, the main character was my ex’s mother and she had at least one full frontal nudity scene in each.

She was pretty attractive and I’m open-minded about nudity anyways, but I have to say I felt a little weird when I watched one of the sex scenes between the mother and the father.

I couldn’t look her in the eyes after that point.

14. “It was looked down upon”

“This happened in May of this year. I have a sister who is four years older than me and a half-brother who is 14 years older than me (from a different father).

My aunt, my mom’s sister, sent out an email to the entire family that vented about 60 years of hatred toward my mother. Right at the end of the email, my aunt clearly indicated that my mom had another kid that no one knew about and had given the kid up for adoption. Huge news to my family who knew nothing about this.

I asked my mom about this and found out that the father of the kid was my brother’s dad, but my mom and him weren’t married when this happened 45~ years ago, so it was looked down upon by others. My mom eventually married my brother’s father and had him, but that was a few years later. After they got a divorce, she got married to my dad about 8 years later.”

15. “Horse people”

“I found out that one of my ancestors was exiled from Russia for challenging an army officer to a duel (with swords) and winning. My ancestor worked in the czar’s stable, and the argument arose when the army officer insisted on riding my ancestor’s horse. The horse threw him off and the army officer shot it.

We’ve always been horse people.”

Oh my… that last one… what would you think if you saw somebody nude and they didn’t know you saw them? I’m guessing that the woman wouldn’t care AT ALL because she made her living doing it.

But we want to know what you think? Let us know in the comments, fam!

The post People Share the Dark Secrets in Their Families appeared first on UberFacts.

11 Times Birthdays Did Not Go According to Plan and Went off the Rails

Birthdays are supposed to be great celebrations! I mean, that’s when you were born… and as a kid your birthday is essentially the biggest day of the year.

But… we’re not all that lucky. Some folks get completely shafted. These Reddit users were brave enough to share their sad birthday stories with the rest of us.

1. I would be SO angry!

Last year I was unemployed at the time of my birthday.

My friends and I made plans to actually go out and do something. The day before my birthday I got called to an interview where they told me I had a job. They wanted me to start the next day. So I cancelled my plans, went out and bought some work clothes and showed up for my first day of work. When I arrived, I found that there were 6 other girls there and that we were actually being interviewed again and that we would do a day of “training”. It then came out that only 2 people would leave with jobs.

Our “training” consisted of us doing 5 hours worth of kitchen labour. At the end of the day 2 girls were chosen and everyone else walked away jobless.

I was not one of those girls and I wasted my birthday on unpaid work.

2. Super!

My Birthday is at the very end of January. So often this coincides with the Super Bowl.

16th birthday was going to be a Super Bowl party. Gave out a ton of invites, paper and verbal. Had a bunch of people say they would swing by either for the whole thing or for the first half. Blah Blah Blah.

Put out snacks, had the game on the big screen. Only had two people show up and they didn’t even come inside. They just dropped off a small cake on their way to a different Super Bowl party.

At halftime I finally gave up hope that anyone else was showing up and told my mom to put the snacks away as I was going to bed.

3. Oh, get over it

It was my 19th birthday.

I was living in the dorms, and my friends got together and decided to give me a surprise party. This included them going out of their way to not see me all day, to avoid telling me happy birthday. All of my friends ignored me for the entire day, only to call me down to one of their rooms at 11:00 PM. I was getting ready for bed, ready to put the whole crappy day behind me. Instead I have to go down there to find them all drinking. They didn’t understand why that was not exactly a fun experience.

4. Face plant

I don’t remember exactly which birthday it was, I think 9th or 10th, we were all set to go to Chuck E Cheese with some friends and their parents for my birthday.

I was out in the yard with my friends playing with skate boards until it was time to leave for the pizza party. One of my shoe laces came undone, went under the wheel of the skateboard I was riding on and it pulled me down and I face planted into the sidewalk and took a good chunk if not all of the skin off my nose. Bloodied and crying, we still went to Chuck E Cheese.

I felt so insecure with this big bloodied scar of a nose while we were out in public.

5. Get better friends

For my 19th birthday, I organized a party at a friend’s house with tons of booze and tons of snacks. My ARMY buddy whose house it was at even procured Everclear for the Jungle Juice. I invited pretty much everyone I knew and told them to invite their friends.

One friend showed up.

Six years later, I tried again. I organized a “taste tripping” party where you take these Miracle Berry tablets that change the way your tongue tastes food (sour tastes sweet). I had a bunch of different foods on a platter for people to try tasting. Again, I invited everyone I knew.

Only one friend and his girlfriend showed up.

I’ve decided to stop throwing birthday parties.

6. Broke friends

Well, it was my 18th, and my first after starting university.

Throughout high school, I was fairly well off and was usually pretty generous. I talked to all my friends and they all wanted to come until I mentioned they might have to kick in half for their dinner. All bailed except one, who got depressed and cancelled. My World of Warcraft guild got together and sent me a tray of muffins and a timecard. Its always a crappy day when the only people who even pretend to care on your birthday are people who you’ve never met in real life.

Thank you, <The Muffin Kings>, for caring.

7. Series of unfortunate events

My 20th birthday.

I woke up at 8am, went to class in the crappy cold rain. When I got there and found out class was cancelled I was pretty bummed, especially since I had no ride home for three hours.

Next my sister takes me out to lunch where we find out our grandfather has to have emergency open heart surgery. Awesome. After that mess I went to see my now ex-girlfriend at school because she refused to drive home to see me.

We go out to dinner, she doesn’t have money because she spent it all on booze earlier in the week. I have to pay for my own dinner. Next we go back to her dorm room for some birthday sexy time, but instead we have a talk and she breaks up with me.

Worst birthday I’ve ever had.

8. Well that’s sad!

My birthday usually came a week after my first report card, and I got punished as a result with either no birthday, or a “bitter birthday” with just me and my parents, who would stare at me disappointedly. Or my mother was drunk, and would forget.

My birthdays since then have been pretty good, though.

9. …I just can’t

On my 22nd birthday, my housemates girlfriend insisted we go out. She kept badgering me about it until I named a local place that was semi-expensive, I also said Chilis. She kept pushing for the more expensive place insisting it was my special day.

We got there, she looked at the menus and immediately threw a fit, complaining she couldn’t afford anything. When her boyfriend attempted to buy her meal, she declined him multiple times, and refused to share his as a compromise.

For the rest of the night we ate in silence interrupted by her complaining about hunger pangs and how anyone could afford the place she had insisted we all go to.

10. Shit rolls downhill

16th birthday, I woke up to my parents fighting.

They didn’t even remember it was my birthday. Then my best friend, who happened to be the girl I was madly in love with stopped by to tell me goodbye as she was moving to Texas with her family.

I told her I liked her before but on that day I was going to tell her how I feel and ask her out.

When I got back from saying goodbye, my dad was packing his stuff and they told me they were getting divorced.

11. Like dominos…

I was really excited for my 19th birthday.

I was going to have lunch with my girlfriend, hang out with my friends after, and end the evening with pizza at my parents home. The girlfriends mum picks me up (no car at the time because I was living with the girlfriend and paying rent) and we go down to her university and she has to pick up some books so we go to the bookstore and she kills 2 hours in lines and shopping for clothing. Not all the books were bought so we went to an off campus bookstore. Another hour or so in line. I text my friends and cancel our plans.

We then go to The Olive Garden and she spends the whole time talking to her mum about something that the mum’s most recent boyfriend did. Started chatting up the server and mentioned it was my birthday to her and SHE wished me a happy birthday. Girlfriend looked at me puzzled. She had forgotten it. It’s now 8 pm and we are driving home. I’m in the backseat and I call my parents and tell them that I’ll be home soon. There’s an accident down the road on. My parents call me and ask where I am. I tell them to eat without me. 3 hours later we are out of the traffic jam and I go to my parents home and cry.

Broke up with her a few weeks later because she was cheating on me (for months now) and I was still salty about her forgetting my birthday and ruining that day.

What did you think? Have a story that can top some of these?

You know what to do… let us know in the comments!

The post 11 Times Birthdays Did Not Go According to Plan and Went off the Rails appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Mindbenders That Might Just Mess With Your Sense of Reality

The simple definition of a paradox is this: a statement that contradicts itself or a situation which seems to defy logic.

These are all around us every day, and range from something mundane like saying “I always lie” and the complexities surrounding the idea of time travel.

If you’re into reading things that really bend your brain, I present these 12 paradoxes, designed to do just that.

12. When did it cease to be?

The Ship of Theseus always kind of fucked me. So, there’s this Greek dude called Theseus, and he’s on a very long boat trip home. His ship needs repair, they stop, replace a few rotten boards, and continue. Due to the particularily strenuous nature of this very long trip, several more of these stops for repairs are made, until, by the very end, not a single board from the original vessel remains.

Is this still the same vessel? If not, when did it cease to be?

11. Simple but not.

Pinocchio says “My nose will grow after I finish this sentence”

Does it?

10. The more traffic, the more traffic. Or something.

Braess’ paradox.

From wiki “the observation that adding one or more roads to a road network can end up impeding overall traffic flow through it. The paradox was postulated in 1968 by German mathematician Dietrich Braess, who noticed that adding a road to a particular congested road traffic network would increase overall journey time.”

9. Just stop it, people.

That “this page is intentionally left blank” page.

The page isn’t even blank anymore!

8. Triple make you crazy.

The UK ‘triple lock’ that people moving to the UK experience:

Need proof of address and photographic ID to open a bank account

Need a bank account and photographic ID to rent a place

Need a bank account and an address to get sent your photographic ID

7. The Legend of Zelda.

What about the song of storms from the legend of Zelda?

In the legend of Zelda ocarina of Time, you travel though time between child and adult by using the master sword, and doing so you can come back to certain areas to get different items from both times.

Well one song the you learn is called the song of storms and you learn it by going to the adult time and talk to a guy in a windmill. He tells you about a kid that came in 7 years ago and played a strange song and messed up the windmill and teaches it to you. After learning the song you can now go back to being a child and go to the guy in the windmill and play the song to him, despite not knowing it before as a child.

So questions are where did the song come from and who taught who the song? Did the windmill guy teach it to link or did link teach it to the windmill guy?

6. And around and around forever.

Jim is my enemy.

But it turns out that Jim is also his own worst enemy.

And the enemy of my enemy is my friend.

So, Jim is actually my friend.

But…because he is his own worst enemy, the enemy of my friend is my enemy.

So, actually Jim is my enemy.

But…

5. Where to put the hooks?

So i know this is just a silly thing but…..

At my old work, my department was food service. In our prep room, you had to always wear an apron. Always, no exceptions.

When leaving the preproom, you had to take your apron off to prevent cross contamination.

The bosses were trying to figure out where to put the hooks. Inside in the back of the door, or outside on the wall.

4. Definitely hard to explain.

The Banach Tarski paradox is one hell of a mind fuck.

Its basically taking something, and rearranging it to form another exact copy of itself while still having the complete original. Like taking a sphere, which has infinite points on it and drawing line from every “point” on its surface to the center, or the core of the sphere. Then you seperate the lines from the sphere, but because there is infinite points you now have an exact copy of the original sphere.

Its kind of hard to explain here so just watch the Vsauce video on it for a more in depth explanation.

3. The coastline is always growing…or something.

The coastline paradox.

The more accurately you measure a coastline, the longer it gets… to infinity.

2. But you do, in fact, reach the door.

One of my favorites is Xeno’s Paradox.

In order to leave my apartment, just for example, I have to walk half way to my front door. Then I have to walk half the remaining distance. Then half that distance, ad infinitum. In theory, I should never be able to reach the door.

Now I love this paradox, because we’ve actually solved it. It was a lively, well-discussed debate for millennia. At least a few early thinkers were convinced that motion was an illusion because of it!

It was so persuasive an argument that people doubted their senses!

Then Leibniz (and/or Newton) developed calculus and we realized that infinite sums can have finite solutions.

Paradox resolved.

It makes me wonder what “calculus” we are missing to resolve some of these others.

EDIT: A lot more people have strong opinions about Zeno’s Paradox than I thought. To address common comments:

1.) Yes, it’s Zeno, not ‘Xeno’. Blame autocorrect and my own fraught relationship with homophones.

2.) Yes there are three of them.

3.) If you’re getting hung up on the walking example, think of an arrow being shot at a fleeing target. First the arrow has to get to where the target was. But at that point, the target has moved. So the arrow has to cover that new distance. But by then, the target has moved again, etc. So the arrow gets infinitesimally closer to the target, but doesn’t ever reach it.

4.) Okay, you think you could have solved it if you were living in ancient Greece. I profoundly regret that you weren’t born back then to catapult our understanding two millenia into the future.

5.) Yes, I agree Diogenes was a badass.

I hope this covers everything.

1. Just take a shot and pick a box.

Newcomb’s Paradox:

There are two boxes, A and B. A contains either $1,000 or $0 and B contains $100. Box A is opaque, so you can’t see inside, Box B is clear, so you can see for sure that there is $100 in it.

Your options is to choose both boxes, or to choose only Box A.

There is an entity called “The Predictor”, which determines whether or not the $1,000 will be in Box A. How he chooses this is by predicting whether or not you will choose both boxes, or just Box A. If the Predictor predicts that you will “two box”, he will leave Box A empty. If he predicts that you will “one box”, he will put the $1,000 in Box A. He is accurate “an overwhelming amount of the time”, but not 100%. At the time of your decision, the contents of Box A (i.e. whether or not there is anything in it) are fixed, and nothing you do at that point will change whether or not there is anything in the box.

It is a paradox of decision theory that rests on two principles of rational choice. According to the principle of strategic dominance:

There are only two possibilities, and you don’t know which one holds:

Box A is empty: Therefore you should choose both boxes, to get $100 as opposed to $0.

Box A is full: Therefore you should choose both boxes, to get $1,100 as opposed to just $1,000.

Therefore, you should always choose both boxes, since under every possible scenario, this results in more money.

BUT:

According to the principle of expected value:

Choosing one box is superior because you have a statistically higher chance of getting more money. Most of the people who have gone before you who have chosen one box have gotten $1,000, and most that have chosen both boxes have gotten only $100. Therefore, if you analyze the problem statistically, or in terms of which decision has the higher probability of resulting in a higher outcome, you should choose only one box. Imagine one billion people going before you, and you actually seeing so many of them have this outcome. Any outliers became insignificant.

In terms of strategic dominance, two-boxing is always superior to one-boxing because no matter what is in Box A, two-boxing results in more money. One-boxing, on the other hand, has a demonstrably higher probability of resulting in a larger amount of money. Both of these choices represent fundamental principles of rational choice. There are two rival theories, Causal Decision Theory (which supports strategic dominance) and Evidential Decision Theory (which supports expected utility). It is pretty arcane but one of the most difficult paradoxes in contemporary philosophy.

Robert Nozick summed it up well: “To almost everyone, it is perfectly clear and obvious what should be done. The difficulty is that these people seem to divide almost evenly on the problem, with large numbers thinking that the opposing half is just being silly.”

EDIT: I made some edits…to make it clearer.

EDIT: There are also an offshoot of Newcomb’s Paradoxes called medical Newcomb’s Problems. I’ve been in a situation like this before, I’ll describe it:

I went on an antidepressant, and there’s a history of manic depression in my family. My psychiatrist told me that for some people, antidepressants bring out their manic phase, and they find out they have manic depression. They already did have manic depression, so it doesn’t cause it, it just reveals it. She told me to watch out for any impulsive decisions I making, as that can be a sign of a manic phase.

I was in line at a convenience store and thought: should I buy a black and mild? I don’t really smoke, but for some reason it seemed appealing. Then I realized, that seems like an impulsive decision. But, if it is an impulsive decision, and I go through with it, and do indeed have manic depression, then I should just do it anyways. After all, it’s not making me have manic depression, it’s simply revealing something to me that I already had. On the other hand, if I don’t do it, then I have no evidence that I have manic depression, meaning that there truly is less evidence, and therefore I have no reason to believe that I have manic depression.

Expected utility = don’t buy the black & mild Strategic dominance = buy the black & mild

These situations aren’t quite as easy to see, but they’re interesting anyways.

I’m doing quite well now and all indication is that I do not have manic depression.

I’m off to take a nap to recover.

Do you have a favorite paradox? If it’s not here, please leave it in the comments!

Yes, we’re asking you to mess with our head once again. Because that’s how we roll.

The post 12 Mindbenders That Might Just Mess With Your Sense of Reality appeared first on UberFacts.

Enjoy These Anxiety Memes About Anxiety That Won’t Make You More Anxious

It’s time to just calm down already, put that anxiety aside and just BREATHE.

Phew… that was nice. Because that’s all it takes. Thinking about it.

HA!

No… just a long, cleansing breath in… and then out. Let that anxiety just melt away.

Okay, now on to these memes. Those should help too!

1. All day. All night.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

2. What even is reality anymore?!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

3. Agreed.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

4. Oh! That’s all I had to do?!?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

5. Do that thing!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

6. Yes, that’ll do it!

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

7. OMFG…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

8. What happened?!?

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

9. Not so fast…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

10. Never go to sleep right away. Ever.

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

11. Oh, I’m you alright…

Photo Credit: Pizza Bottle

Well, how do you feel? Anxious as always. I knew it!

Okay, share how you feel in the comments anyway. Anxious or otherwise. Because we actually DO care about you. For reals.

The post Enjoy These Anxiety Memes About Anxiety That Won’t Make You More Anxious appeared first on UberFacts.

Gen X’ers Will Appreciate These Memes More Than Napster

ALL of the talk right now is about boomers and millennials because they’re fighting. Which is fine. You all do your thing and we’ll just sticking around, minding our own business, making fat stacks and reading memes.

I mean… remember when music and movies were free on the internet because we were LITERALLY stealing them? And we thought that would keep going?

Yeah, you remember… and these memes will bring all those good times flooding back.

1. Wait… WUT?!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

2. Them were them dayz

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

3. And were they even taken out of class??

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

4. Good lord…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

5. Sleeves = Class

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

6. It’s on!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

7. That Atari life!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. OMFG!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

9. Oh yes.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

10. Oh… am I interrupting the class with my FRIES?!?!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

11. You’ll never know…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

How much did you relate to these memes? If you said, “A LOT!” then you are definitely Generation X. Like, full on Gen Xer.

Got any awesome memes you want to share with us? Leave them in the comments!

The post Gen X’ers Will Appreciate These Memes More Than Napster appeared first on UberFacts.

20 Funny Memes That Might Put a Smile on Your Face

We’re giving you all dem memes, yo! And there’s nothing you can do to stop it!

So, in the interest of time and getting to the fucking point already… we present 20 memes that are memeing so hard you won’t even know how to meme after you meme these memes.

MEME!

1. High. Class.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

2. Look! We found some pussy!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

3. Come on y’all…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

4. WUT!??

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

5. Sit. On. Dat. Couch!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

6. Turn stick?

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

7. We found a “never nude” in the wild!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

8. Shitting in high carpet

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

9. The only way to drink Miller Lite…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

10. Data… you bad…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

11. KILL THEM ALL WITH FIRE!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

12. O.M.G.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

13. This is true!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

14. It’s about damn time!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

15. Hey, the world wanted it!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

16. Wait… how did that happen??

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

17. Don’t we all…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

18. Yeah, and Hermoine married him, so….

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

19. They can earn money, though…

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

20. POO: “Did somebody say coffee?”

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

And there you have it! Memes so memeing good, you’ll never meme that hard again. Possibly. We don’t know. We’re just making this shit up as we go along.

Alright, time for you to sound off! Let us know which memes did it for you in the comments!

The post 20 Funny Memes That Might Put a Smile on Your Face appeared first on UberFacts.