10 Tips for Dealing With Grief Around the Holidays

For many, the holidays are a really hard time. People who have lost loved ones or had other difficult experiences in their lives tend to get depressed around the holiday season, as they reflect on their past and relive old memories.

If you are one of the many people who deals with grief and depression around the holidays, here are 10 tips you should consider to try to alleviate your pain.

1. Time and space.

Give yourself time and space to deal with your emotions. It’s okay to feel pain and loneliness if you’ve experienced loss. Treat yourself well and give yourself a break. You’re only human.

2. Spend time alone.

The holiday season can be very overwhelming for many people, so you need to find time to spend alone so you can work on yourself and get away from it all. Do what you need to do to recharge your batteries: take a walk, sit in a park, and if you want to leave parties or events early, go ahead and do it.

3. Escape route.

Have an escape plan if you attend parties or events that you know might trigger you and make you sad, emotional, or angry. It’s okay if you need to bolt, just be ready and make sure you have all your belongings so you don’t have to make a return appearance.

4. No thanks.

It’s okay to say no to parties, events, or any other kinds of invitations that you think might make you feel uncomfortable or might cause you to lose control. Remember, it’s up to you.

5. Honor their memory.

Some people choose to celebrate the traditions that their lost loved ones did to honor their memory. This can help people to remember the good times and to be nostalgic.

6. Start new traditions.

Instead of trying to recreate the traditions that you enjoyed with your departed loved ones, try to create some new ones. This practice can help you deal with the grief.

7. Get out of town.

Go somewhere new or take a road trip. Get your mind off of the familiar and the places that are associated with your loved ones who are no longer with you. A new atmosphere may do you some good.

8. Fulfillment.

Focus on some activities that you know will fulfill you and make you feel good. Volunteer. Read. Exercise. Walk your dog. Try to make some new friends. Whatever makes you feel good, do it.

9. Totally random.

Practice random acts of kindness. Help out other people and try to better, not bitter. In other words, live your life to honor the people who are gone and do your best. Part of that can be helping out strangers.

10. Remember the good times.

It might sound easy, but it can be tough. Try to remember the positive memories and happy times you spent with your departed loved ones instead of suppressing all thoughts about them. In the long run, it will help.

And while you’re at it, listen to this short but sweet song by the great Willie Nelson.

Enjoy your holidays, everyone.

The post 10 Tips for Dealing With Grief Around the Holidays appeared first on UberFacts.

June 17, 2019

An Elderly Man’s Moving Advice to a Grieving Woman Went Viral for Good Reason

Sadly, we will all go through the experience of losing people we love. It’s part of life, but that doesn’t stop it from being incredibly painful and gutwrenching.

A woman on Reddit lost someone important in her life and she turned to people on the Internet to help her get through the tough time. The title of her post was, “My friend just died. I don’t know what to do.”

Photo Credit: Pexels

That’s when the self-proclaimed “old” person offered up their advice. Be sure to read his entire post, because it is pretty incredible.

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes.

Photo Credit: Flickr,michael_swan

My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

Photo Credit: Pexels

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

People were deeply moved by the old man’s eloquent words.

“I’m reading this now as I lay bedside by my mother who has had cancer for 6 months, and cancer won. She’s been on a morphine drip for the last few days. I’m trying to cope, and came across this. Thank you.”

“This is beautiful. You have helped more people than you know by posting this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“As much pain as it’s caused, the memories I have of my friends and family are much more pleasant. And when I feel like I’m floating, I hang on to those memories like a life preserver, and you know what? They work really well.”

Thank you for your thoughtful words, sir. I think they brought comfort to many strangers who needed them at exactly the right time.

The post An Elderly Man’s Moving Advice to a Grieving Woman Went Viral for Good Reason appeared first on UberFacts.

June 17, 2019

An Elderly Man’s Moving Advice to a Grieving Woman Went Viral for Good Reason

Sadly, we will all go through the experience of losing people we love. It’s part of life, but that doesn’t stop it from being incredibly painful and gutwrenching.

Photo Credit: Pexels

That’s when the self-proclaimed “old” person offered up their advice. Be sure to read his entire post, because it is pretty incredible.

“Alright, here goes. I’m old. What that means is that I’ve survived (so far) and a lot of people I’ve known and loved did not. I’ve lost friends, best friends, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, neighbors, and a host of other folks. I have no children, and I can’t imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here’s my two cents.

I wish I could say you get used to people dying. I never did. I don’t want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don’t want it to “not matter”. I don’t want it to be something that just passes.

Photo Credit: Flickr,michael_swan

My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can’t see.

As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.

Photo Credit: Pexels

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.

Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.”

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

People were deeply moved by the old man’s eloquent words.

“I’m reading this now as I lay bedside by my mother who has had cancer for 6 months, and cancer won. She’s been on a morphine drip for the last few days. I’m trying to cope, and came across this. Thank you.”

“This is beautiful. You have helped more people than you know by posting this. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.”

“As much pain as it’s caused, the memories I have of my friends and family are much more pleasant. And when I feel like I’m floating, I hang on to those memories like a life preserver, and you know what? They work really well.”

Thank you for your thoughtful words, sir. I think they brought comfort to many strangers who needed them at exactly the right time.

The post An Elderly Man’s Moving Advice to a Grieving Woman Went Viral for Good Reason appeared first on UberFacts.

May 7, 2019

Researchers Find That Losing a Pet is Almost as Bad as Losing a Person

Losing a pet is a shock to the heart. No matter if our beloved furry friend passes because of illness or due to an accident, we feel as if we have lost a member of the family–because that’s exactly what they areL family. We develop emotional attachment to their sweet fuzzy faces.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Researchers (Quakenbush & Glickman, 1984) at the University of Pennsylvania found people risked particularly extreme grief when they had to euthanize their animals. Pet owners felt a tremendous sense of guilt, as well, around deciding to euthanize. They agonize over whether or not all care options were considered. Was there truly nothing else left to do?

According to the study:

Feeling guilty often is a component of the grief, especially if the owner is conflicted about a decision for euthanasia, or feels that appropriate care was not provided. Grief for an animal, though becoming more socially accepted, remains somewhat disenfranchised. For example, time off work is typically not an option.

Photo Credit: Flickr

The worst possible thing to hear at such as sad time is it’s just a dog or a cat or a hamster or whatever.

Comments like these only pile on our feelings of loss.

Our pets are still loved just as much as human family members, even if others don’t understand.

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Grief after losing a pet is real and natural. But it hurts and many people, including myself, have found doing some of these things can help with the process of moving past the pain.

Note how you feel having toys, leashes, collars and other reminders of your pet around you. If these items bring you comfort, leave them out. If they distress you, there is nothing wrong with putting them away.
Embrace the idea of the “Rainbow Bridge” – an image meant to suggest that we could all meet again in the afterlife – and take comfort in knowing your sweet pet is there.
If you had to euthanize, you did it to ease your pet’s suffering. There is nothing wrong with that. You did the right thing at the right time.

Photo Credit: Flickr

Remember all the love and attention you gave to your pet and how much you got in return in your beautiful relationship.
Memorialize your pet. Having a ceremony or creating a physical memorial with photos and mementos can help you grieve.
Journaling, writing letters, reading books, visiting friends and playing with their pets or keeping busy with volunteering and other activities can also help you fill the void you feel.

No one can tell you the proper way to grieve or how long the grief will last. But it will pass soon and you’ll be left with warm memories of your furry best friend to carry in your heart.

The post Researchers Find That Losing a Pet is Almost as Bad as Losing a Person appeared first on UberFacts.