After a long cramped flight, most folks look forward to seeing a familiar face welcoming them home. Perhaps, there will be a heartfelt embrace or a warm handshake. Then, the loving partner or best bud will handle their carry-on as stories from the road are shared. Making their way to baggage claim, they think it’s so nice to be home. What wonderful people I have in my life to pick me up from the airport so graciously with nary a complaint.

But that doesn’t always happen, does it. To be honest, no one wants to pick you up from the airport. It’s a pain. You should know that.

That’s probably why these put-upon people decided to make airport signs that serve a dual purpose: 1) to entertain the other suckers that were roped into picking someone up at the airport, and 2) to prevent you from ever asking again.

1. You asked for a pick-up.

2. You shouldn’t even have left, damn it.

3. Your family doesn’t want to pick you up from the airport.

4. He wantsa talk, that’s all.

5. The 13th step is to find other friends.

6. She didn’t mind coming to the airport.

7. Whoever you ask to pick you from the airport has to pay for parking by the half-hour.

8. The threat of a Force Choke for airport pickups should be used on an emergency basis only.

9. This took a dark turn.

10. So, flowers work too, just saying.

11. The takeaway here is not to ask them to pick you up from the airport again.

These signs are hints, people. Nothing wrong with taking public transportation or a cab home from the airport. Save you a little embarrassment too.

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