Funny Tweets for Your Viewing Pleasure

We want you to come and get it! What on Earth is this crazy person talking about, you might be asking yourself? Well, I’m gonna fill you in!

We’re here today to present you with yet another batch of funny tweets that we’ve carefully hand-selected to make you laugh your *sses off!

What else do you need, really?

The answer is NOTHING. Nothing at all…

And we are almost 100% certain that these tweets will make you laugh so hard, you might not even have an *ss anymore…so just be sure to check when you’re done looking at this stuff, okay?

Okay, enough with the chit chat, let’s get it on!

1. Come on! Come on!

I thought this only happened in elevators…

2. Don’t pray for him anymore.

I think that’s enough! Thanks though!

3. Throw it back to you.

Is that cool?

4. You always have to check.

Just in case…

5. Give me another.

And keep ’em coming!

6. I think you’re getting a divorce.

Are you happy now?

7. He had to do it.

You know he couldn’t pass that up!

8. That’s the good stuff!

More of that, please!

9. Bill did it again.

He always makes it all about him.

10. The pain I have caused others…

Take some time for yourself to reflect…

11. This is really all you need to know.

Get rid of all your other books.

12. The candles number looks a little bit off.

Just a thought…

How about you?

Have you seen any funny tweets lately that you really love?

If so, please share them with us in the comments. Thanks!

The post Funny Tweets for Your Viewing Pleasure appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss the Statement, “Morning People Are Not Better Than Night Owls.”

You think you’re better than me, buddy?

I see the way you’re looking in my direction and I feel like you’re judging me because I’m more of a morning person than a night owl.

Oh, sure, in my younger days I was probably more of a night owl, but now I like to be in bed at a decent time so I can get up early and get to work!

And people do seem to go back and forth over which side is better.

AskReddit users weighed in on this subject…let’s see what they had to say.

1. Drives me nuts…

“It drives me nuts when people who wake up early brag about it like it’s some accomplishment. These people usually go to bed early too!

So why is it that people who go to bed late and get up late are seen as lazy? Some of my best ideas and work happen at night when everyone is asleep, my mind is more clear. I just enjoy night time more than day time, what is so wrong with that? It would be crazy to think that everyone can just have the same sleep schedule and thrive.

People have different needs and different rhythms, that is perfectly fine. If you’re a functional person, it shouldn’t matter what time you go to sleep or wake up.”

2. A lifestyle choice.

“I will say this…

Morning people enjoy more of a normal life.

Night owls……well…night owls enjoy themselves, period.”

3. Society says…

“It’s really a societal issue that morning people are seen as “normal” and night people are seen as lazy and unhealthy.

Because waking up insanely early is just as unnatural and unhealthy as staying up super late.

Both go against a human’s natural sleep cycle, so sleep whenever you want.”

4. Seen it all.

“I’ve swung both ways in my life.

Total night owl in high school and college. Morning person for a few years, swung back and for a few times. While there are benefits to both, it is way easier to live a “normal” life as a morning person.

Businesses are open, you can do outdoor activities, and its way easier to stay up late than to wake up early.”

5. At peace.

“I prefer the night, just because it’s the only time no one demands anything from you.

If the nagging people in my life weren’t also early birds, I’d be one. But for now I can only be at peace in the late hours.”

6. No issues.

“As long as you’re able to get up, get your work done, and pull your weight then it’s not an issue.

My husband (when he doesn’t need to work) gets up around 9 or 10. I only wake him up if we have plans.

He wakes up, does his own thing for maybe an hour, and then gets his sh*t done. I don’t see the issue.”

7. Circadian rhythm.

“Technically the human body has evolved in a way to be the most productive when waking up early and getting a good night’s sleep. It’s a part of our circadian rhythm.

Being a morning person has actual mental and even some physical health benefits. I used to be a night owl but I also struggled with depression. One of the things my doctor recommended for my depression was to have a consistent sleep schedule that involved waking up early.

This actually ended up helping me out way more than I was expecting. Do not underestimate what it is like being a morning person.”

8. We’re all different.

“I have been getting up at 6am for 3 years as part of my work.

I still feel tired all day, and have only been depressed since I’ve been forced to be a morning person!

I don’t think age has got anything to do with it I think it is just how different people work.”

9. Works for you.

“I struggled with depression and honestly being a night person kept me a lot more calm and safe and made me more productive.

My therapist made me a morning person for a while and I really didn’t feel better – if anything, it was worse.

10. A night person.

“I used to have school and work in the mornings and I’ve had chronic fatigue and depression for years.

But since I started working 3rd shift it’s like I’m a new person. I have so much more energy and I just feel so much better.

So it definitely depends on the person and your natural rhythm and what not. Apparently mine is backwards.”

11. Transitioned.

“I’m a natural night owl who has forcefully transitioned myself to a morning person.

The reason for this is that once you’ve adjusted to waking up early, those first few hours becomes the most productive time of day for you. Your brain is fresh and ready to go full steam ahead. This is actually proven through studies.

So I’ll wake up at 5, go to the gym and be back home by 6:30. I’ll have breakfast and a shower and be ready to go for my day by 7. Then in the two hours before my classes start, I can generally get more work done than I would in the entire rest of the day.

When night time rolls around, I can use that natural pickup from being a night owl to invest in my own interests. I don’t benefit as long because I need to sleep earlier, but I also don’t have to share the time with school work.

This routine gives me more freedom than just staying up late ever did. It sucked for the first week or two waking up before the sun, but now I’m able to feel like I’m giving good attention to all parts of my life.”

12. Not feeling it at all.

“I’m a night owl forced to turn into a morning person ever since I had a kid. I feel like crying. I love the night.

No postman who can bring unexpected bills. No one nagging at your head, every annoying person is asleep. It’s quiet outside.

Now i’m wasting my time sleeping in this precious time.”

Now we want to hear from you.

Are you a morning person or a night owl?

Talk to us in the comments. Please and thank you!

The post People Discuss the Statement, “Morning People Are Not Better Than Night Owls.” appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Completely Legal Things That Make Folks Look Like Really Bad

What I’m doing is LEGAL! I’m not breaking the law!

How many times have you heard that in your life out in public when someone is acting like a total psychopath? Probably more than a few, right?!?!

Human beings sure are weird, and we’re about to get a heaping helping of weirdness from people on AskReddit.

Let’s check out their thoughts on what legal things people can do that make them look like total psychos. Enjoy!

1. No, I’m good.

“Walk into any store and just lay down.

If anyone asks if you need help, tell them you’re fine.

Then, after a minute or so, stand up and go about your business.”

2. Whatever floats your boat.

“Take a stroller/chest carrier with a fake baby in it, proceed as if it is in fact your living child.

Bonus points if you can throw your voice.”

3. Creeping people out.

“Sitting on a park bench as a grown man brushing your dollie’s hair and telling her what a pretty girl she is.”

4. You looked crazy, I’m sure.

“I went on a little hike with my family. We got lost and went on the wrong trail.

Dumped the kids stroller with a big monkey from Ikea in it. Carried my daughter on the shoulders.

Anyway I went back at 18:00 to pick it up and retrieve our car as well. Sweden so its black outside. So I walk with a stroller with a monkey in it in a pitch black trial in the woods.

If someone saw me, they would think i was a psychopath.”

5. Do you need some help?

“Do T-Rex arms while humming quietly to yourself the Jurassic Park song.

When someone looks at you, stare back and start humming louder.”

6. Pretty specific.

“Wearing a pair of whitey tighties on your head so your eyes see out the leg holes and you can feed yourself through the Y-front.”

7. I’m gonna be sick.

“Take a mayonnaise jar, empty its contents, and fill it with vanilla pudding.

Sit down and eat in public.”

8. I’ll try this.

“Eating a burger upside down.

People look at me like I’m crazy but it’s the best way to get the flavor”

9. Perfectly legal.

“Sit on your front porch in a bathing suit and start eating jello with great enthusiasm.

Then begin rubbing it all over your body.

Nothing illegal about it.”

10. Not cool.

“Sitting next to someone on public transport, when there are plenty of other seats where you wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone.”

11. You’re scaring people!

“Taking photos of people on the street, or even on their property.

If you can see them from public locations it’s perfectly legal to photograph them here, but can be creepy as f*ck.

It’s for this reason I don’t do street photography – too easy to be seen as a creeper!”

12. What are you doing?

“My husband likes to go outside and cut the weeds in our lawn with scissors and put them in a small plastic bag because our pet Guinea pigs like to eat them.

A few neighbors have stopped to ask him why he’s cutting his grass with scissors, and he just tells them he’s the new landscaper.”

13. Hmmm…

“Apparently, eating cold spaghetti out of a plastic bag, because my friends constantly give me sh*t for it.

It’s a versatile food container, it will fit wherever you put it in, and the only dish I have to worry about cleaning when it’s done is the fork if I even brought one.

Cold spaghetti for the win.”

14. Uh oh.

“Fill a Windex bottle with Gatorade and drink in public.

One of my friends did this the last day of middle school.
It was funny until a teacher had a full panic attack and both poison control and an ambulance was called.

He was heavily reprimanded and barred from participating in the graduating ceremony once he finally had a chance to explain that it was just blue Gatorade.

It’s a day that lives in infamy only just eclipsed by the hot sauce incident.”

People sure are weird, huh…?

And now we want to get even weirder!

In the comments, tell us about more things that are perfectly legal that you can do but make you look like a psycho.

Please and thank you!

The post People Share Completely Legal Things That Make Folks Look Like Really Bad appeared first on UberFacts.

What Legal Things Make You Look Like a Crazy Person? Here’s What People Had to Say.

Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it looks normal, folks.

We don’t think about it very often, but we’re allowed to do all kinds of wild, weird, and crazy stuff that is totally, 100% legal…but it still makes us look like psychos if we actually do them in public.

Are you ready to get weird?

Let’s see what AskReddit users had to say about this.

1. Out on the street.

“There’s a guy in my town that has a portable karaoke machine and casually walks around singing to himself and dancing.

He’s not a busker or entertainer, just in another world.”

2. I live here! I swear!

“Lockpicking the door to your own house because you’ve lost your key.

Did that a few years ago at my old apartment, a few times actually.

Then the hair salon downstairs was broken into one night, back door had the lock picked.

I then quickly became the prime suspect…luckily I was in the next state that night due to a morning funeral, got there a day early because I wasn’t going to be a pallbearer right after a 4 hour drive.

Believe it or not, caskets are  heavy.”

3. Just minding my own business.

“I’m not sure if other people see me this way, but I always feel like a creep when looking straight ahead alone.

I feel like the person in front of my is gonna turn around, see me, and think I’m a creep.

What’s worse is I forcefully look around, but I also feel like that’s weird, and that people will think I’m trying to make it look like I’m not looking at them when I really am.

It’s a weird dynamic.”

4. What are you doing?

“Jogging in place. Anything short of waiting for a light to change and it’s just odd.

In line at the DMV? Jog in place.

Waiting to use the bathroom at Starbucks? Jog in place.

Standing awkwardly in the middle of a full park when you don’t have kids? Jog in place.

Waiting for the hot dog vendor to add relish? Job in place.

Waiting for the waitress to come back with the check? Jog in place.

Standing in an elevator? Jog in place.”

5. I need directions.

“Asking a person for directions like “which way is the forest?” and then going the completely opposite direction.

I didn’t want to go to the forest, my dude!”

6. Gross.

“Empty a chocolate sauce bottle and use it as a water bottle in the gym.

That was tasty.”

7. You look crazy.

“My old landlord’s husband was clearing out a bunch of stuff recently after an operation, and the dude collected medieval weapons that he had to get rid of. Asked me if I wanted one, I said sure it would be pretty sick.

So walking back to the car at 10:30 at night, in pitch black, lit only by streetlights, I discovered there is no way to hold a two-handed axe without looking like a crazy person.”

8. You okay, Mom?

“My mom legit started vacuuming the lawn one day when I was in high school.

Mom… wtf are you doing?”

9. Nothing to see here.

“Talking alone/to yourself.

I do it sometimes when alone but it makes you look like a crazy person if you do it in public.”

10. What’s in the box?

“It’s fine to carry around human bones (*ahem* I mean legal specimens) in creepy looking boxes.

Everyone in my anatomy class was given a box and we took public transit with it while smelling like death.

You could literally see creepy people on the bus move slowly away from us.”

11. I’ll take that!

“Taking somebody’s groceries at the checkout.

They haven’t paid for it yet, so it isn’t theirs”

12. Digging graves?

“Digging at night.

I’ve dug a lot of holes at night. It’s too hot to dig during the day.

But the whole time you are thinking, I probably look conspicuous to the neighbors.”

13. Now, here’s a story.

“This one time my ex girlfriend asked me to pick up her prom dress from a friend. I went to the friends house at around 9 pm and picked up the dress. She gave me no coat hanger or anything so I just carried the dress in my clenched fist.

As I was walking back home through a dark alleyway It occurred to me that my hand is pretty sweaty and the dress might actually start smelling bad from all the sweat of my hand. I wanted to check the situation so I smelled the dress.

As I was standing in the alleyway in the darkness of the night, smelling a red dress that I was gripping in my sweaty hand I saw a woman standing several feet from me, scared sh*tless, reaching for something in her purse (a phone? A pepper spray?).

At that point I became more scared/embarrassed than her and ran off. I assume that to this day she’s telling her friends a story about how she was almost murdered by a dress stealing maniac murderer…”

What do you think?

What perfectly legal things make you look like a crazy person when you do them in public?

Sound off in the comments!

The post What Legal Things Make You Look Like a Crazy Person? Here’s What People Had to Say. appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Wildest Butterfly Effect Stories From Their Lives

You never know how one supposedly insignificant action or decision in your life can snowball and spin out of control.

And that’s where we get the term “the butterfly effect” from.

I’m sure you’ve experienced something like this in your life at some point. And we’re about to get some wild “butterfly effect” stories from people on AskReddit.

Let’s take a look at what they had to say.

1. Best decision ever.

“4 years ago a kid I barely knew from school invited me to a Six Flags. I was a bit of a loner at the time and I heard rumors about this kid being weird, so I intended to not go.

On the day he wanted me to go, I was feeling extra bored and decided on a whim “why not?”. So I went and met this kid and two of his friends I’ve never met at a Six Flags.

4 years later and that kid is my best friend, and I have 3 other very close friends I met through him. Not only that, but I also met my first girlfriend because of the connections some of my new friends had. It transformed my high school years from being alone to having an amazing group of friends I could do almost anything with.

I intended to ask my best friend to be my best man one day, and I don’t intend on ever getting out of touch with any of them. I’m home from college now, and we are going to have a lot of fun together. Best decision I’ve ever made.”

2. Funny how that works out.

“The older I get, the more I am constantly cognizant of the vast cascade of seemingly insignificant decisions and actions that led me to where I am.

For example, a decision 25 years ago to change a refrigerator light bulb before going out resulted in my being at the “wrong” time and place so as to get mugged, which resulted in my decision to move out of the city I had been living in, which resulted in my meeting my wife, and from there to having all my kids and the whole shebang.

I would have had a different whole shebang had I not changed that lightbulb that afternoon, but the path to the present leads through that (and a thousand other) similarly trivial decisions…”

3. Career fair.

“At a university career fair and just has a long day taking to companies and heading out when I see a Honda booth. Designing cars would be awesome but there is a huge line, it has been a long day, and what are the chances?

But wait! They are giving away hats and shirts and model cars! So I talk to them. A day later I get a callback for an online assessment. I fill that out and don’t hear anything back for a month or so, the I get a call one night saying I was an alternate and someone cancelled last minute so they want to fly me up for on-site interviews.

I go and end up getting and accepting an offer. After graduation I move about 1000 miles away from home for my new job where a few years after I meet my now wife and we have 2 kids. I never would have crossed paths with her otherwise.

So the entire course of my life was shifted because Honda gave away good swag at their career fair booth.”

4. Wow, your parents sound awful.

“My parents dream was to have a “famous child”.

When my older sister’s figure skating career ended in her early twenties, the spotlight shifted to me. I was a fine oboist, and took private voice lessons with intent to audition for the local music faculty (opera?). In any case, there was a lot of pressure, and while I was successful at school and classical music, it was never enough.

At 17, before senior year began, my sister gifted me a kitten. My parents had given her 2 in her senior year and the implication was that it was my turn. When my sister dropped me off, my parents locked me out, saying that if i wanted my own pet I needed my own place.

So I found one – that night. I worked 3 jobs to support myself through senior year and graduated with entrance scholarships to both of the local universities.

I couldnt afford a music degree while living on my own, even with the entrance scholarships. And good thing. Entering the work force showed me how much I love active jobs. 3 years later, I enrolled in college and became an industrial mechanic/millwright, to my parents great shame.

After a few years of this I landed a sweet contract where I work on Saturdays and Sundays but receive a full week’s pay. Although I am a living beacon of disappointment, I comfort myself with my 100k a year job, 2 day workweek, and 2 cats.

Being kicked out over a kitten saved me from wasting years chasing an improbable career just to please my parents.”

5. The film biz.

“My wife got an email from her old colleagues the day we returned home from our honeymoon, asking if she wanted to star in a short film they were doing for fun.

She said sure, and asked if I could come along, as she knew I had an interest in movies, but at the time I worked in life insurance and was miserable.

It was more than an interest- I had always wanted to make films, but never made the right connections with people and didn’t know where to start.

I made friends with the producer of that short film my wife was in, and 11 years later filmmaking and video production is my career. I’ve shot feature films, short films, video for tv and web, and all over the world because of that one email to my wife. Changed our lives!

Oh, and that original short film never got finished.”

6. Old friends.

“I sent a friend from secondary school (who I had a huge crush on) a message saying happy birthday a couple years after we left school. Did the whole ‘we’ll have to catch up soon!’ thing, not expecting much.

He replied with ‘how about Monday?’. I saw him that Monday for a coffee. Next month will be our 6th anniversary. Best thing that ever happened to me.

My friends joke I’m ‘queen of escaping the friend zone’.”

7. Sounds like Jim and Pam.

“I was always super flirty with the girl from HR, but we were always seeing other people / don’t date at work so when she left the company I was bummed. A year or two later a coworker asked me to search my email archives (that was a thing back then) for something he needed.

I ended up stumbling across the “farewell to my work-friends” email from HR girl and she sent it from her personal email address. I reached out to her, we had coffee, then a date, then many dates, then I love yous and I put a ring on it ASAP.

12 years later, extremely happily married, 2 goofy kids, 2 evil cats, and she still puts up with my bullsh*t.”

8. What a story!

“I chose to rearrange the sequence of classes slightly before starting my education. By doing this, I had to commute to a different branch of the school in a different town than the one I was originally signed up for.

On my first day there, I helped a girl who had managed to break both of her arms in a drunken shopping cart accident, I learned later.

This girl, whom I would absolutely never have met had I not changed my classes around, is my wife through 14 years.”

9. Still here.

“My friends took me to mMalaga in Spain for a long weekend to cheer me up after my mum died.

4 years later I’m still here and have never been happier. I owe them everything for that spontaneous trip.”

10. Close call.

“In Afghanistan, wasn’t done with my coffee, so I passed on a trip from one base to another (there was another convoy a few hours later).

Most everyone died who took the 1st convoy. My 2nd cup of coffee wasnt even cold when I found out.”

11. That burns!

“Burned my arm on an extremely hot plate working at a restaurant in NYC.

New manager didn’t like that I told him we were out of towels to hold hot plates, had a vendetta against me.

Six months later, found a reason to fire me.

Friend got me a job working on the set of a low budget movie, met a woman named Dorothy who was key PA.

A full year later I ran into her on the street, she asked if I still worked in production, got me a job on reality tv.

Worked 9 seasons on a renovation show, learning finish carpentry and eventually becoming an on screen carpenter.

New PA on set. Beautiful, sassy, amazing.

Ask her out (was just a key PA at the time)

Two years later we move to New Orleans together, a year later we move back to NYC and have our first child.

Three years later we move to Montreal. Been here for three years.

I now have a wife, two kids, and a successful contracting business all because I burned my arm on a plate ten years ago.”

12. Isn’t that funny?

“Ordered some shirts off the internet, company sent a size too small. Emailed them and they sent the correct size and let me keep the other ones too.

My grandpa’s house was being redone, noticed one of the workers liked a band i did and gave him the shirts that didn’t fit. Years later working and having a smoke break, guy overhears me and a friend discussing a concert we were going to, asked about it and said he had some old shirts I could have. Met up with him after work to hang out. They were my shirts from a couple years before.

We start hanging out and he is dating this girl, she says she has a friend that she thinks would be perfect for me. We hook up. Been married for almost 10 years with 2 kids. All for a few shirts that the company sent me the wrong size for.”

13. The girl with the mohawk.

“I was dating a girl in college. I didnt actually go to college as I was doing an apprenticeship instead.

One day I had a day off midweek and figured I would pop into college to see my old friends and chat to this girl I was dating. At the time I was very I to skateboarding. So I take my skateboard into the building but had to leave it in the reception bit.

As luck would have it a girl saw me (with bleached blond hair and a pink mohawk) place the skateboard and decided she was in love with me. She went to the local skate park after school until eventually she found me. We swapped numbers and now 15 years later we are married with 3 kids.

Also my skateboard was stolen by someone and by the time I made my way out of the college my brother had noticed someone carrying my board and stole it back for me. As I walked out and noticed it was gone my bro came in and asked if I was looking for my board.

It was a wierd day that I had no idea would impact my whole life to this point.”

Do you have any interesting butterfly effect stories that have happened to you?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Share the Wildest Butterfly Effect Stories From Their Lives appeared first on UberFacts.

This Scammer Got Trolled by a Dramatic Neighborhood Saga

We’ve all received those shady texts from a random number that’s trying to pull a fast one on us.

Most of the time, these odd encounters can go ignored. Once in a blue moon, though, some brave soul will take them head on.

That’s exactly what happened here… And it’s safe to say that this scammer got totally trolled by fake drama. Nothing stings worse than being bested at your own game!

Image Credit: Cheezburger

Of course, any random number asking you to wire them funds through Apple Pay is fishy enough.

This person is handling the mess with flying colors, though.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

I don’t know what Linda ever did to hurt this person so much, but go off, I guess.

Also, love the fact that the scammer immediately contradicted themselves in a back-to-back text.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

That’s right, this person actually created an entire neighborhood of characters to completely bamboozle the scammer.

I wonder if any of this is inspired by real life.

“Cat hair in the banana pudding” is way too weirdly specific otherwise.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

It’s weird to see the scammer play along, even in the smallest way.

That’s just a testament to how committed this expert troll was to their story.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

And, as always, the end of this interaction got pretty heated.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

Now that is how you get yourself off of a calling or texting list. So, next time you’re in a pickle like this, scr*w politely asking.

Honestly, it’s best to just go for the jugular like this top-tier troll here.

Do you have any crazy encounters with scammers? Share your story with us in the comments!

The post This Scammer Got Trolled by a Dramatic Neighborhood Saga appeared first on UberFacts.

Are You Secretly a Jerk? Use the Shopping Cart Theory to Learn the Answer.

If you have to ask yourself if you’re secretly a jerk, chances are that you’re not.

It’s kind of like how real sociopaths would never wonder if they were secretly sociopaths. Still, there are some definitive behaviors of mid-tier jerks.

One of the many tell-tale signs lies in what you do with your shopping cart after a trip to the grocery store.

Pro tip: whatever you do, don’t do this.

So, what do you do with your shopping cart after you’re done shopping?

Do you aimlessly leave it somewhere near where you’ve parked, or do you take the time to push it back to the cart holder? Be honest with yourself.

If you do the latter, good on you.

If you do the former, oops – you just might be an a**hole.

Rest assured, you’re not alone. Even coin incentives aren’t enough to motivate people anymore, these days.

Basically, the theory is rooted in Platonic notions of self-governance.

It’s a gauge of what we’re willing to do on our own so we can all exist peacefully in society. So, our behavior when nobody’s looking (or we at least think that nobody is) is a huge indicator for our own morality. That might seem like a lot of weight resting on just one shopping cart, but it’s a sign of a larger issue.

What do you do when you’re the only one responsible for your actions?

It’s the same idea behind littering and curbing your dog – or even replacing a roll of toilet paper. The shopping cart theory measures how much you’re thinking about other people when they’re not right in front of you. It’s essentially a movable range of how self-absorbed you might be, but it’s by no means a definitive guide.

What do you think of the shopping cart theory? Is it an accurate way of weeding out the jerks, or is it totally misguided?

Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

The post Are You Secretly a Jerk? Use the Shopping Cart Theory to Learn the Answer. appeared first on UberFacts.

Well-Intentioned, Hilarious Attempts to Untangle the English Language

English is known as one of the toughest languages in the world to learn. There are rules, sure, but they’re kind of more like guidelines and they get regularly broken for really no reason at all.

It was spelled at random until nearly 1600, when some standardization was attempted, but it’s still enough of a mess to give anyone learning it as a second language complete breakdowns on a regular basis.

Which is why, I assume, some people have attempted to make common-sense changes over the years, only to be thwarted because obviously, human beings and change don’t mix – not even when it’s for our own good.

Here are 4 times people have (unsuccessfully) tried to make things a little bit less confusing.

4. Teddy Roosevelt insisted his government use “simplified spelling.”

Image Credit: Public Domain

Spelling reform had become something like trendy by the late 19th century – everyone from Brigham Young to Andrew Carnegie was throwing out suggestions on how to make English easier.

Carnegie thought that English wasn’t catching on with the rest of the world because of its inconsistent spellings, and thought his “Simplified Spelling Board” was the answer. It included a list of 300 revised words (‘rime’ and ‘kist’ instead of ‘rhyme’ and ‘kissed’), and got an unsuspected boost when President Teddy Roosevelt issued an executive order stating that the revised spellings be used in all federal government communications.

Roosevelt’s reason was practical, and came down to the almighty dollar. He believed extra and unnecessary letters were costing millions in printing overheads, which led to pushback from the printing industry, and a bunch of other people that were just too lazy to figure it out.

Across the world, people laughed but Roosevelt stuck to his guns, even delivering a State of the Union written with the revised spellings, many in the government flat-out ignored the order.

3. Benjamin Franklin had a problem with the letter ‘C.’

Image Credit: Public Domain

Cookie Monster would be appalled, but with an eye on a more phonetic alphabet, Franklin believed the letter ‘C’ should really take a hike.

Modern English allows for letters like C to be pronounced differently depending on context. If you read ‘Pacific Ocean,’ for example, you’re pronouncing the ‘C’ three different ways in a single phrase.

Franklin thought the C was unnecessary, given that we have other letters that already make all of those sounds – K and S, for example – and believed the letters J, Q, W, X, and Y were similarly superfluous.

He proposed 6 new letters to represent commonly used sounds like -ng and ‘sh,’ but honestly, no one was really interested.

2. Noah Webster, who created the Webster’s Dictionary, would have been on board, though.

Image Credit: Public Domain

Webster was also an advocate of spelling reform, and is remembered for launching a war on the letter ‘U’ – he’s why Americans drop the letter in words like ‘color’ and ‘rumor.’ The English added it to act sort of French, because we all know we have to act like we loathe the people we actually want to be the most like.

Webster, like Franklin, was a fan of phonetic spelling, and while it might make more sense to spell ‘soup’ ‘sooop’ and ‘tongue’ ‘tung,’ his efforts were also for naught.

His essay on the subject, published in 1790’s Collection of Essays and Fugitiv Writingswas barely legible, and he was basically mocked by the entire country.

I mean, we already learned one set of sh**ty spellings. No one is going to vote to relearn the entire thing.

1. George Bernard Shaw’s Shavian Alphabet

Image Credit: Fair Use

Playwright George Bernard Shaw was famously inspired by his passion for spelling reform, but in the end, he too was conquered by English’s absolute refusal to be smoothed out and squared up.

Because of the vastness of English, he struggled with consistency; he removed apostrophes only to realize he needed them sometimes when a word like ‘I’ll’ looked like ‘ill’ without one.

To fix the problem, Shaw chucked English entirely and imagined an entirely new writing system that embraced phonetic English complete. He died in 1950 and left the bulk of the work to a charitable estate – along with a hunk of cash.

The British Museum ended up with most of the money, but a guy called Kingsley Read got the rest, and set about coming up with a system of 48 “short”, “tall,” and “deep” letters that each corresponded with a unit of sound.

He had trouble with publicity, and again, the inherent laziness of human beings, who weren’t into the idea of finding something entirely new.

Maybe someday.

But probably not.

I guess we’re just going with English the way it is, huh? Colonel and everything?

What’s the most confusing part of English for you? Let’s commiserate in the comments!

The post Well-Intentioned, Hilarious Attempts to Untangle the English Language appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Will Make You Do a Double-Take

When you think of the word “optical illusion,” you might picture the familiar illustration of vases that turn into faces or the image of a duck that is actually a bunny, but we can find optical illusions in everyday photographs.

Fight those winter blues and maintain your sanity as you social distance by taking a good look (or two) at the optical illusions in these 17 memes deserving of a double take.

1. Off with her head!

Or maybe on with her jacket?

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

2. Stop, thief!

I know his arm isn’t that long but I can’t NOT see it that way.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

3. This is what happens when cats play with weapons:

Do you see the hole?

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

4. I still haven’t figured this one out:

It’s like he’s staring right into my soul.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

5. Booty booty booty booty rockin’ everywhere:

Pants are required ma’am.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

6. It’s not what it looks like.

God as my witness.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

7. I’m gonna rock and roll all night:

Play Cotton Eye Joe!

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

8. What am I missing here?

D*mn, that camo really works.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

9. Quick, someone get this kid a snack:

OH phew, nvm, she already has one.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

10. There’s a new super hero duo on the block:

Step aside Batman & Robin.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

11. First look: T-Rex

Second look: what is that man doing and why? Is he on a roof?

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

12. You know what I heard?

Her owner’s husband is SO in the doghouse.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

13. Talk about getting ahead:

One of the hottest new trends of 2021.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

14. Don’t panic:

It’s not what it seems.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

15. Which animal do you see?

A crow or…a cat?

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

16. I told you he was in the dog house.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

Image Credit: lotsacreamlotsasugar

Cool your jets. That’s an EAR.

But I bet it got you for a moment, huh?

#15 was the one that made me look twice. I am ashamed to say, I did NOT think those were her feet…

Which meme made you do a double take?

The post Memes That Will Make You Do a Double-Take appeared first on UberFacts.

A Student Humiliated Their Toxic Teacher in Epic Fashion

They say revenge is a dish best served cold, but some situations call for desperate measures.

This student in particular had their hands full with an especially toxic teacher.

We’ve all had at least one mentor who totally took advantage of their position of power… so, those of us who haven’t gotten that closure can live vicariously through this student’s epic payback.

Image Credit: Reddit

We start off with a classic story of favoritism and bias. Obviously, Cathy was the teacher’s pet of the entire school, while this student unfortunately sat at the bottom of the social ladder.

Image Credit: Reddit

What the central protagonist of our story here does seems innocuous enough, but to a mega-strict Catholic school where they’re already an easy target, they might as well have committed a cardinal sin.

Image Credit: Reddit

Now, that treatment is just pure evil. Luckily, this student had the perfect plan in mind to exact sweet revenge.

Image Credit: Reddit

You see where they’re going with this? But wait, there’s more.

Image Credit: Reddit

But sometimes, winning isn’t enough. Sometimes, you need a demolition job.

Image Credit: Reddit

I love how OP is really building up the tension here. Imagine the staggering number of books they’d read up to that point.

Image Credit: Reddit

Get ready to really embark on the hero’s journey here.

Image Credit: Reddit

This image alone solidifies this story as the ultimate tale of the underdog.

Image Credit: Reddit

Now that’s what I call dedication. Cathy better be shaking in her boots.

Image Credit: Reddit

This kid was a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode. Those condescending Catholic school teachers really unleashed an absolute beast.

Image Credit: Reddit

Sorry, Cathy and Mrs. Smith – you got totally decimated by the dark horse of the grade.

Image Credit: Reddit

Well, that truly scratched a bad vengeful itch that I’ve been harboring since the fifth grade. It’s great to see that this student actually managed to wreak havoc on the system that wronged them.

Have you ever taken revenge against a teacher who tormented you? Share your story with us in the comments!

The post A Student Humiliated Their Toxic Teacher in Epic Fashion appeared first on UberFacts.