10+ People Share Their ‘Are You Kidding Me’ Moments

Are you kidding me?!?!

These folks shared some of their most ridiculous stories on AskReddit. Enjoy.

1. Bath & Body Works

“Worked for Bath & Body Works.com customer service for years. It was nothing but “are you kidding me” moments.

One winter we had hand soaps with a cartoon polar bear and penguin on the label, wearing scarves and sledding. I had a lady call and YELL at me for nearly an hour about how inaccurate that is, since polar bears and penguins don’t live in the same place. She demanded that I tell her why we put them on the label together.

I didn’t last much longer after that.”

2. SMH

“I have a last name that is common but comes in multiple spellings. Think Smith/Smyth. I always spell the name out when I tell people my last name because mine is the less common method. I was checking into a hotel and the employee checking me in was having a hard time finding our reservations. I believe it was her first day so she asked the manager for help. I tell him how to spell my name but he wasn’t really listening. More of a let me show this new girl how it is done.

After what seemed like 20 minutes he says “Oh here it is. Someone misspelled your name. They put a y instead of an I” Me: “That is the correct spelling” Him: “No it isn’t! I know how to spell Smith. I am going to change it in our system it will only take me a second”

That was the day I realized I didn’t know how to spell my own name.”

3. The good ol’ DMV

“Denied a drivers license because my birth certificate was “invalid” for having a tiny hole in the center. I waited 4 hours.”

4. Teacher of the year

“I had a college professor scold the class for helping each other study for exams because she stated we were all competing for a program spot/future job and needed to be more competitive. She magically was not teaching any classes next semester.”

5. Thanks, teach!

“I had a teacher in a base level chem-phys class yell at my class after everyone failed a test because we hadn’t been taught half of the unit.

His exact words were “it’s not my job to teach you the materials” “.

6. How dare you!

“I got suspended for the horrendous crime of taking Tylenol on school property last year. I was waiting for the shuttle to marching band practice when I had cramps, and there was no way to get to the nurse and back to the bus stop on time. I of course complained about my impending miserable practice to a few friends and one offered me Tylenol.

Practice went great, I thought nothing of it. Next day my friend and I were dragged to the office and interrogated because someone told the school I took 6 pills of speed. I never had broken a rule before that so I was panicking. I remember the quote of the year being “if it was just Tylenol that doesn’t explain why you’re so upset right now”. Apparently I was the only person at that school who cared when they were in trouble. They ended up confirming it was Tylenol though, and just when I thought Truth, Justice, and the American Way had prevailed, they suspended me anyway.”

7. Bad Driving 101

“Going to the dreaded blue store and a woman on her phone nearly pulls into me (big blue dodge van) as she suddenly decides she needs to be in the turn lane and then nearly rear ends me because she assumed we would just continue to go when the light changed to red (there were two cars ahead of me too). If that wasn’t bad enough she nearly hits me again in the parking lot as she drives across the parking spots and has the nerve to flip me off when I honk at her to stop her from slamming into me.”

8. Poor pooch

“I used to work at an animal shelter. A woman brought in a Rottweiler puppy, age 8 weeks. Said she was surrendering it because she did not realize it would get that big. O.O

(Honestly, though, thank you thank you thank you lady. You brought him in young, cute, and supremely adoptable and not a year and a half later, out of control and completely unsocialized from living in your yard. You did the right thing!).”

9. It’s my name

“When people correct me about my last name, or claim to know where it originates. Here’s a typical cringe conversation I have about it:

“My last name is (last name)”

“Oh, you mean (mispronounces last name)”

“No, it’s pronounced (correct last name)”

“Well, in Russia its pronounced my way”

“…my last name isn’t Russian, it’s German.”

“Actually, I know it’s Russian and…blah blah blah (I stop listening at this point)” “

10. Engaged

“At one point I was engaged. I was together with this girl for nearly 7 years. Her car died so I bought her a brand new one of her choice. She wanted something small and easy to drive with good storage space so she chose a Scion xD. We drove 4 hours to the next state to get one in the color that she wanted.

A few months later she’s leaving me to be with an older mid 30s, unemployed, uneducated, no skills, married loser who she knows fulls well is cheating on his wife with her. He stayed at home all day while his wife worked. They would do their thing together and be sure to get him back home before his wife so she wouldn’t know.

Well, here’s this brand new car. It was in my name. I was making the payments. And she’s leaving me to go be with this mutual cheater. I told her that she had two options regarding this car. She could either get a loan to purchase this car off of me or I’m taking the car back. I’m not going to pay ~$18,000 after interest for a car for you now.

She wasn’t happy about this. She was also using my old cell phone since she broke hers. I told her that I wanted my phone back, too. After I got it back I looked at what she left on it. She deleted the contact of her new cheater fuckboy but the text messages remained. I knew his number so it was easy to see who she was talking to.

She was saying to him that I was “driving her crazy” about this car and that I wouldn’t just leave her alone about it.

You think that you can leave me for the guy that you were cheating on me with and that I’m still going to pay for this brand new car of your choice for you?”

11. Genius

“I work fast food, we have a relatively popular item which is a strawberry slush made with actual strawberries. It says as much on the menu.

Customer orders a strawberry slush. Sixty seconds pass, and they call back in and want to speak to a manager.

Dipshit: “My strawberry slush has strawberry in it?”

Me: “Well, yes, of course?”

Very itchy dipsh*t: “I’m allergic to strawberries.” “

12. A strange reaction

“A customer in the restaurant I work in had a seizure and an ambulance was called. My reaction when the ambulance pulled up was to prop he door open for the paramedics so they could get in faster. The assistant managers reaction was to complain to me about how they parked right in front of the entrance, and that they should have more respect for the business…”

13. They’re everywhere!

“I spent 30 minutes talking to a flat earther.

A REAL flat earther.”

14. It wasn’t me

“My license got suspended for several months because a woman with my exact name (not at all common) got caught driving without insurance and the officer mistakenly assigned the ticket to me. After finally figuring out what happened, my boyfriend and I had to take a day off work and drive an hour to the town she got the ticket in to go to court and basically prove I wasn’t her.

After I was cleared it still took well over a month for my license to be reinstated. It was so inconvenient and beyond frustrating because I had done absolutely nothing wrong! Fast forward two years and I’m denied when trying to get a library card because the same woman had a late fee for a Fast and Furious 6 dvd.”

15. Time to quit

“Was in a training period for a job I tried to land to pay the bills after I graduated and was meandering in search of career direction.

I got the flu in my 2nd week of training, during a blizzard in which we were maybe one of a handful of offices open in town. I was really, really sick, like “don’t go into work” sick, but it was training, and even if it was a sh-t anyone-can-do-it job, I still wanted to tough it out by going in. I just had my girlfriend at the time drive me because I was so out of it.

We’re getting toward mid-afternoon, and the weather has been getting worse. I’d spent most of 11am-2pm excusing myself to go to the toilet and vomit.

Finally, it occurred to me this was a bad job and lives weren’t at stake by me toughing it out. So I went to my supervisor and explained to her: look, I’m sick, I’ve been sick all day, I haven’t been productive as a result, and since I didn’t drive today, I’d like to leave ONE hour early due to the weather and me being sick.

My supervisor said: OK, you can leave, but you will get a written warning for leaving work early. If you get another warning, you will be fired.

I put in my two weeks’ notice the next day.

(And to my surprise: they accepted it and said “OK, sit here for two weeks without any incentive and be totally unproductive”. That was weird.)”

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Check out These 5 Fascinating Facts About Middle Children

Middle children definitely drew the short straw when it comes to siblings. Think about Jan Brady’s character in The Brady Bunch. Always being overlooked, always living in the shadow of her siblings (and then acting out and throwing hysterical fits).

Photo Credit: ABC

But scientific studies show that middle children don’t really have it all that bad after all. It turns out that they can be very creative, independent, and have great leadership qualities.

So turn that frown upside down Jan Brady (and all the other middle children out there). Here are 5 facts very interesting facts about the middle kids of the world.

1. Their lack of self-esteem might not be a bad thing

Middle children might not get a ton of attention at home and might get overlooked sometimes, but this can help keep their egos in check. Katrin Schumann says, “Having an accurate sense of your self-esteem is more important than having high self-esteem. Surprisingly, new studies show that high self-esteem does not correlate with better grades in school or greater success in life. It can actually lead to a lack of perseverance in the face of difficulties.”

2. They can be good negotiators

Photo Credit: iStock

One advantage of being stuck in the middle all the time? You can become a good negotiator. Katrin Schumann, co-author of The Secret Power of Middle Children, says, “Middles are used to not getting their own way, and so they become savvy, skillful manipulators. They can see all sides of a question and are empathetic and judge reactions well. They are more willing to compromise, and so they can argue successfully. Since they often have to wait around as kids, they’re more patient.”

3. They might be an endangered species

The numbers don’t lie: women used to have a lot more kids. But since the early 1970s, the numbers have declined. Today, 48% of American women have two children, as opposed to 3, 4, or 5 in years past. Society has changed, and people are going to school later and longer, getting married later in life, and the cost of raising kids has gone through the roof.

All this adds up to smaller families, which means fewer and fewer middle children out there. What a shame!

4. They’re faithful

Photo Credit: US Air Force

One study showed that 80% of middle children claimed they have never cheated in a relationship. In comparison, 65% of firstborn children and 53% of youngest children revealed they have been unfaithful to a partner or a spouse.

Studies also show that middle children are the happiest in their marriages…but not with each other because both people might tend to want to avoid conflict.

5. Middle children = Leaders

If we use the loose definition of middle children and include children who were not the oldest or youngest in their group of sibilngs, 52% of American Presidents fall into that category. That list includes Thomas Jefferson, Teddy Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln, and John F. Kennedy. Not bad company, eh?

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The Top 10 Most Extreme Junk Foods Ever Made

America sure does love its junk food! So much so, that some people have gone above and beyond to create dishes that are true monuments to gluttony.

Have you ever tried any of these horrific munchy masterpieces?

1. Dunkin’ Donut’s’ Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich

Photo Credit: Facebook, Jorge Newbery

The glazed donut will now be your bun, understood? Looks like Homer Simpson’s dream come true.

2. Pizza Hut’s Hot Dog Stuffed Crust Pizza

Well, that’s absolutely disgusting. This creation has never been available in the US, only in the UK and mainland Europe

3. Friendly’s’ Grilled Cheese Burgermelt

Photo Credit: Facebook,Aviation Mall

Here, we have two grilled cheese sandwiches as buns for a juicy hamburger. I think I could actually order this one…

4. Guy Fieri’s Cheesecake Challenge

This beauty is available at Guy Fieri’s American Kitchen Bar in Cancun. Cheesecake doused with fudge, pretzels, and potato chips. Yummmmmmmm.

5. Denny’s’ Fried Cheese Melt

Photo Credit: Facebook, Denny’s

It looks like a heart attack on a plate, but so what?!? Live a little. It’s a grilled cheese sandwich stuffed with fried mozzarella sticks. Boom!

6. The KFC Double Down

Photo Credit: Facebook, KFC

Forget about buns, would ya? KFC had the balls to get rid of buns and replace them with chicken breast filets. In between the chicken buns? Bacon!

7. Jack in the Box’s Munchie Meal

Jack in the Box has a pretty eclectic menu, and it shows with their Munchie Meal. You get a HUGE sandwich, tacos, fries, and a big soda. I have a feeling this is geared toward a certain demographic that craves late night junk food.

8. Pizza Hut’s Cheesy Bites Remix Pizza

Pizza Hut did it again when it replaced the pizza crust with pockets filled with different kinds of oozing cheese. Because you always need more cheese, right?

9. Deep fried butter

You can find this concoction at state fairs and festivals across the U.S. of A! If you can eat it, you can deep fry it!

10. Bacon Bun Burger

It’s all about the buns, people. Yes, you’re looking at a burger with buns made completely out of bacon. WOW.

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12+ Times Management Immediately Killed Worker Morale

There’s nothing better than a good boss and nothing worse than a bad one.

A good manager has the ability to make even the most minute task seem important. A bad manage, on the other hand, can take the best job and make it a living hell.

Employees on AskReddit offered up their stories of what bad managers did that immediately killed the morale of their workers.

1. Bad move

“I work in a big corporate building. The same older lady came by everyone’s desk towards the end of the day to collect the trash. Just the sweetest lady ever and every time she’d walk to my desk she’d give me a big smile and ask me how my day was and chat for a minute as she got my trash (usually I’d dump it in for her). I had some rough days but she has a way to cheer me up and send me home on a higher note. I know I’m not the only one either.

So then a few weeks back our work implemented a new policy to ‘cut down on trash usage.’ It’s no longer allowed to have a trash bin at our desk and we have to walk across the room and use the community trash to throw anything away. Not a huge deal but the real reason they did it is so they can cut down on cost… the cleaning crew.

Sad to say that I haven’t seen Sharon since.”

2. Figure it out

“This school wanted to switch to Chromebooks. So what did they do? One summer while teachers weren’t working, they removed every single Windows station and replaced them with Chromebooks to be issued to teachers. They were told to “figure it out.”

When teachers came up and asked how they could teach Photoshop, programming, AutoCAD 3d modeling, etc., admin basically googled their program name plus “Chromebook extension” and told them “see? There’s an extension for it and it works!” I don’t think I have to add that it did not work.

They ended up bringing back the desktops for most teachers.”

3. That’s not cool

“Boss Pitched a sales incentive trip to Cancun if the team hit the goal. My team exceeded the goal, and then they cancelled the trip. 2 people quit, I accepted a position with their main competitor, and less than a year later, they closed in bankruptcy. Karma’s a beach.”

4. Posters don’t work

“Put up a poster that said “Complaining is like vomiting. You feel better but everyone around you feels sick.” The morale was already bad but it was just a crappy way to take a hit at upset employees rather than do anything positive.”

5. Don’t mess with programmers

“I was one of a large number of programmers working on a project at CSC. We had a deadline coming up in a couple months and they over-promised to the client and then asked us all to work extra hard to meet the deadline, and asked us to work 50+ hour weeks. Which we did – and then some: some of us put in 70-80 hour weeks to meet this deadline.

But once that deadline was met, suddenly there was another deadline they needed to meet. And another. People got tired, had lives to lead, and scaled back on their hours. Most of us were still working 50-60 hours a week, but not a lot more than that.

Once they realized we weren’t killing ourselves on their project any longer, there was an All Hands meeting where the managers told us that they were incredibly disappointed in our lack of professionalism because so comparatively few employees were now working more than fifty hours a week.

One of our harder workers stood up and said, “Look, I have three kids. I’m driving an hour into and out of work every day, I’m taking care of my family, I’m trying to get presents for Christmas, write out Christmas cards, decorate and clean the house for everyone we’re having over for the holidays – I’m having a really hard time just getting to fifty.”

And the manager looked at her and sneered, “If it wasn’t Christmas, it’d be because it’s Easter, or Memorial Day, or because it’s summer and it’s nice out. You’d always have some excuse.”

There was dead silence in the room.

When we left that meeting, we didn’t talk to each other, but every single worker on that project put in exactly fifty hours a week after that. Then came Christmas – raise and bonus time! Every worker on the project got a 1/2 percent raise; the managers got a five-figure bonus. We were pissed.

For management, the pain came after Christmas. First week off the year, four programmers had better jobs lined up and quit. Three more the following week. Five the next. We hemorrhaged 3-5 programmers every single week for over three months. It got to the point where the managers had to schedule a meeting every Monday at eleven to discuss that week’s resignations and rearrange the surviving staff.”

6. Not gonna work

“Bought a manufacturing plant.
Fired everyone.
Tried to hire them back for $2 less.”

7. A job well done…for me

“I once had a retail manager who sent out a memo that we worked so hard and did such a great job this month that she gets a bonus. That went over like a lead balloon.”

8. Does it?

“I told the hiring manager that I was disappointed in one of his hires because he knew literally NOTHING about our job and asked him “doesn’t that cheapen my knowledge and expertise?”

His response: “Well, let’s be honest, your job doesn’t really need all that, does it?”

There were four other people my level, with varying fields of expertise, at that meeting, and it got real quiet after that.”

9. Trashy

“Telling employees that they are going to fire you if you don’t make more sales. Then when someone quits tell them naww that was just motivation. We were never going to fire you.”

10. A new Silverado

“Small business. 20 employees. Boss made a big speech about austerity measures and no raises this year. A week and a half later he drives up in a brand new Silverado with all the bells and whistles. Expensed to the business of course. He would hate to have to pay taxes on those profits. One of the less subtle members of the staff took a literal poop in front of his office door.”

11. Accused of stealing

“I worked at a club in Miami and the owner was out of his damn mind (years of drug abuse).. when the housing market crashed obviously people were spending far less going out but he insisted we were all stealing. We had meetings once a week with all kinds of threats. Finally he put in an automatic pouring system for 50k+, it basically looks like you’re pouring drinks from a soda gun, super boring. The fun vibe and flair we had was totally gone which made sales drop even more. He ripped the system out two weeks later.”

12. Bad idea

“Former teacher. The administrators at my school were usually pretty chill, but had a habit of randomly coming up with minor rules that they would enforce for us (male teachers had to wear ties even on jeans day, etc.). Overall it wasn’t bad, except for the time an administrator made a crucial mistake… they banned staff from drinking coffee in front of students.

Now if you’ve never worked in a school, you’d think this isn’t a big deal. When you spend nearly 100% of your day in front of students, it definitely is a big deal.

First we tried to find any loophole we could. Energy drinks? Banned the next week. Tea? Banned two days later. It was chaos. Eventually, we realized they couldn’t fire an entire school’s worth of teachers and aides, so we ended up doing the one thing that private schools fear most: we formed a union.

Realistically, it was more of a weird pseudo-union focused specifically on civil disobedience regarding the coffee issue, but it ruffled feathers nonetheless. The administrators caved to our “demands,” allowed us to drink coffee again, and even bought each of us a reusable coffee mug as a gesture of goodwill. And that’s the story of how a handful of school administrators almost accidentally created a teachers union over a complete non-issue.”

13. Banned

“She actively tried to ban friendships. If co-workers became friendly she would schedule them so they would NEVER see each other. “You’re here to work! Not to socialize!”

She also banned everyone from coming into the workplace when they were not working. It was a pub. She banned socializing in a pub.”

14. Lazy

“Told a bunch of people they were going to be promoted to get us to do extra work, no one got promoted. I basically did her job for a month. Me and three of my co-workers quit and she got fired a few months later.”

15. Time to shake things up

“Had a boss everyone loved, then she got transferred to another store and the new guy that replaced her decided the schedule that we’d all gotten used to needed to be “shaken up.” He posted the next week schedule that was completely different than it had been under the previous manager, got a bunch of complaints from people saying they can’t work x days or y times and it SEEMED he was receptive since he took that schedule down. Then suddenly BAM, he just reposted the same exact schedule and said screw everyone.

Oh, we had some people calling in sick from time to time under the old manager, but this new manager has pretty much half his crew every single day calling out because of his crappy tactics.

Here’s the first thing to learn about being a good manager…you don’t need to “shake things up” for people to be better workers. You don’t need to “put your mark” on anything if it’s working just fine the way it was.”

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Window Washers Reveal the Strangest Things They’ve Seen Through the Glass

Washing windows have a high-risk job. It’s dangerous enough to get really high up on a building and scrub away, but they’ve also gotta look at all the weird stuff that’s going on behind those windows.

These stories from AskReddit users that also happen to be professional window washers DO NOT DISAPPOINT. Take a look at these tales.

1. Sad and lonely

“The weirdest thing to me is a mansion with round the clock staff inside, they even wear uniforms. It’s just this one rich dude his wife and their two kids. I’m not allowed inside, but I can see the wife. She’s surrounded by the serving staff, but she never talks to any of them, and they don’t talk to her. She seems really sad and lonely.”

2. Nude

“I washed windows once, still not sure if it was on purpose but was washing skylights on a regular house and the daughter walks into the bathroom naked and starts checking herself out. She was the same age as me, like 20 at the time. I didn’t know what to do so I apologized. Her parents heard and made fun of her the rest of the day, I’ve never seen someone turn so red as when her dad said “so you were giving the cleaning boy a show?” They were getting ready to sell the house and I was there for another 8 hours cleaning.”

3. Sounds like fun

“I only did the job for about 8 or 9 months but saw two unexpected things.

Got to the top of the ladder and saw a guy I know is a priest enjoying some porn. I scurried back down the ladder hoping he would hear me and then slowly went back up. He obviously had heard me because when I got back to the window he was standing up reading a bible.

The other time I got to the top of the ladder and saw a woman in her 80’s sitting on her bed completely naked. I was sure she saw me so I gave her a few minutes before going back to the window. When I get there she’s sitting in exactly the same place, still naked, smiling at me. I got a job in an office soon after.”

4. Just like a movie

“My (maternal) grandfather was a window washer in the 1930s. He saw my (eventual) grandmother on the other side of the glass.”

5. Wasps!

“I was volunteering for the first time at this small place a while ago because high school, and they gave me a simple job. A bottle of spray and a towel to wipe down the windows.

So I did it obediently, and I was looking through the window. I could see across the road there was a sidewalk and some apartments. On the sidewalk, there’s some trees, not too small or big, just your average tree. I could see this lump dangling on a branch, and I immediately recognized it as a wasp nest because my neighborhood had a lot.

I remember thinking to myself, “Man I feel bad for whoever has to take care of that.” (For some reason I thought people like beekeepers didn’t exist) Lo and behold, a white middle aged woman, kinda chubby, probably in her 50s, is watching from a reasonable distance. She goes back into her apartment, and comes back out with a metal baseball bat. I stopped wiping the windows and watched with horror thinking, “Uh oh.” I started heading towards the door to yell stop, but I wasn’t quick enough.

She runs up to the nest and takes a good hit at it. And I guess she tried to run away from the nest, but sprinting is a bit hard in your 50s, and her weight didn’t help. Yikes. She got stung and she kinda fell on the ground in the process. Wasp stings hurt like hell. I told the store manager what happened and she called an ambulance. She got whisked off, and that’s the end of the story.”

6. Watering the plants

“My boyfriend has done a lot of high rise window washing. As he was doing his thing, a man walked into an office, unzipped his pants, proceeded to pee into a potted plant, and walked back out as soon as he was done doing his business. The man was never aware that he had an audience.”

7. Brothel

“I used to wash the windows of a house that turned out to be a brothel.

Should’ve known really the signs were all there. Different men answering the door, all beds were king size with silky sheets Showers in every room Etc…”

8. Okay….

“A piglet. As in, a baby pig, not the Winnie the Pooh character.

No idea why he got an office on the 10th floor.”

9. Back off, lady

“The strangest was a woman who watched me to my work from the other side, pointing at all the streaks and spots as if I were missing it all. Her windows were filthy because we’d had a rain storm followed by a dust storm (only in Texas). I knew it’d take more than one pass to get it all, so I started with the big squeegee to get the bulk of the dirt off before going at it again with the smaller one that doesn’t leave streaks.

She was losing her mind tapping during the first pass, tapping on the parts I was going to go over again. She pointed out the wet streaks that dry up almost immediately into nothing but clean window. She pointed at the spots I had to really get at when the squeegee didn’t get them. She pointed at me a lot, and I’m not sure what that was about.

As part of the job, I also remove any spider webs or hornet/wasp’s nests I see. Wasps/Hornets aren’t really a big deal if you get the jump on them. You reach up, grab their mud nest, and just smash it in your hands before they get out to bite you. This lady kept freaking out and making barfing faces whenever I did it. She looked completely disgusted. She didn’t ask me to stop cleaning her windows though, so I don’t know what she expected me to do. Not do what I was contracted to do?

The lady clearly thought I was a neanderthal. She later complained that she had to do all the work, pointing it all out to me. I tried to explain that I could sit in a bus and point out the route, but that doesn’t change the work the bus driver is doing. She complained that I couldn’t be that smart because I was a window washer and window washers are lazy. I explained it was one of two jobs I was working while taking a full course load at the university.”

10. Some real weirdos out there

“I used to be a professional window washer for mostly very high end houses. Worked on a few celebrity homes but I really don’t have any interesting stories from them. Here are the top 3 weird places I remember working.

The first place, wasn’t a single occurrence but a particular client. To picture this guy, imagine a more boring version of Steve Carrol Carell.

This dude had a larger house. Probably somewhere in the neighborhood of 3500 square feet. He had the Rolladen shutters around his entire house. For those who don’t know what they are, imaging metalish window covers that roll down over the whole window. Something you’d see in a zombie apocalypse movie. That in and of itself wasn’t that weird. But I still remember the first time those shutters went up. The guy had zero furniture. None. Nada. Nothing except for a very basic queen sized bed with white sheets in one of the bedrooms. The guy would follow us around from the inside and leer at us the entire time we’d be cleaning the windows.

Then when we’d do the inside, he’d follow us around with a roll of paper towels and dab up any minor droplet that would hit the ground. Keep in mind, we always used drop cloths when we cleaned inside glass. We were used to working in the nicest of nice homes so we were always very careful to not get water on the floor. Wasn’t good enough for this dude. He’d literally stand 2 feet behind you with the roll and just stare.

Next place that I can remember that was weird was this gay couple’s house. They were super friendly and perfectly normal for the most part. The inside of their house however, was unsettling.

All of the walls were painted either blood red or black. Pagan and Satanic looking statues, paintings and decorations everywhere. It was unsettling to say the least. The last was this weird guy with insanely curly hair who had like fifty life sized statues of children on his property. Dude lived alone. My co-worker joked he was an angry old mage who would turn children to stone for walking on his lawn when they weren’t supposed too.”

11. Oh my!

“Wash windows for a hospital certain operating rooms have windows… the doctors just waved at me as I could see this persons midsection cut open on a table. I almost threw up down the side of the building.”

12. From the other side

“So I was on the unfortunate side of the incident. Went to go #2, the window is right behind the toilet.. you can see where this is going. I turned back to see a guy looming over me through thinly veiled curtains. I immediately flushed and farted out of there. I’m sure he will never forget that.”

13. Unpleasant

“Finally a question I can answer. We were cleaning a fairly tall building 12 stories iirc adjacent to an equally tall government office building. This office building had several bedrooms on the top level, which we could see from the roof but certainly not from the ground. From where we were standing this bedroom was about ten meters away. As we’re setting up a naked dude jumps onto his bed with an ipad and starts rubbing one out furiously. Facing us.

Not weird necessarily but certainly unpleasant.”

14. What are the chances?

“On my first job as a window washer I went to this house and started washing windows and saw my ex-girlfriend having sex with her new boyfriend. And then she came outside and started yelling at me that “this is insane” and “window washers don’t come to people’s houses at 3 in the morning” and “I’m pretty sure they carry more than just Great Value Window Cleaner and a roll of paper towels.”

I hate when people can’t be professional and mature when it comes to difficult jobs.”

15. Dress shoes

“Just a regular window cleaner here. I was once going up my ladders to clean a bedroom window on the second floor at around 8am. As i got to the top of the ladder i was confronted with a couple going for it at an angle which indicated that he was, shall we say, taking the road less travelled.

Fair enough, lots of window cleaners see people naked or doing it, but this dude, for some reason, at 8am, was wearing a pair of socks and dress shoes. Apart from that they were both butt naked.

Now i can only assume that they were too deeply engrossed to have heard the clatter of my ladders against the window sill, but i got done with that window real quick and just about slid down the ladder.”

The post Window Washers Reveal the Strangest Things They’ve Seen Through the Glass appeared first on UberFacts.

Students Share the Most Insane Teacher Meltdowns They’ve Ever Witnessed

As if teachers jobs weren’t hard enough, some students make it their personal goal to drive their educators to the brink of insanity. I certainly knew a few teachers in my youth who went off on the class a time or two.

But I don’t think any of them snapped like the teachers in these AskReddit stories.

1. Never saw her again

“Lost it totally in the middle of 4th grade class. Stood in the middle of the room clapping her hands and chanting “I before E except after C!” and would not stop. The music teacher finally came in and led her away, and we never saw her again.”

2. Vietnam vet

“This was years ago, but in high school shop class. Teacher was a grizzly ole Vietnam vet who didn’t take s*** from anyone. For a clearer picture, he liked to start the first day of class talking about safety around tools, gesturing wildly, then proceed to “accidentally” jam a carpenters knife all the way into his leg. Of course it freaked the f*** out of everyone until he showed us it was wooden and it was to show us to always respect the tools or you could easily f*** yourself up.

We had one kid who was always a dirtbag. Constantly talking, distracting other students, talking back, sleeping… just generally being a douchey little “thug”. Well our teacher was going over a project we were gonna start, mousetrap cars. We were gonna be working on them using bandsaws and other dangerous equipment. Kid just lays his head down and starts snoring. He wasn’t really asleep, just being a douche. Teacher set 3 mousetraps, and threw them straight at the kid. 1 clipped his ear, another hit his thumb, and the last missed.

A stunt like that would get a teacher fired nowadays but I’ll tell you one thing, he didn’t act like a douche in his class after that.”

3. Sounds like a wonderful educator

“Oh hang on for the ride. I had a humanities teacher in middle school who would hand out McDonalds applications to students who failed her tests, but that’s kid stuff. A friend of mine cried after a test (middle school hormones) and the teacher told her she was screwed because her only shot was stripping and she’s too fat. But who would believe a teacher said that? The thing that finally got her fired was back to back incidents in which she threw a desk across the room and kicked over a drum a student was carrying from class to class.”

4. Racist

“My 10th grade English teacher had a mental breakdown/racist rant in the middle of class. She’s white and our school population at the time was 76% black. I can’t remember exactly what was said but the teacher made some sly racist comment and no one really caught onto it – except one girl.

When the girl called her out, the teacher just lost her s*** and started babbling on with racist comments. The entire class was in a absolute uproar. Security was called and eventually the police because it kept escalating. Students were actively searching for her throughout the school. That was the last time anyone ever saw her.”

5. A little unstable

“Said she could fly, and challenged us to believe her. When someone tentatively asked her how, she climbed up on the desk and jumped off, flapping her arms. Then she talked about scientific process.

Also owned something like 70 rescue animals. Would bring one in each week on a rotation- hamster, tarantula, etc. Can you imagine how her house smelled?

But she could also be really cool. This poor kid in our class had some serious social disorder that made him really awkward/loud. Some redneck prick kicked him so hard that he got a testicular injury of some sort. I was late to class and didn’t witness it, just the aftermath.

Teacher came into the class and found him curled up under a desk crying. She got him immediate medical attention and then locked the classroom door, turned to us all, and chewed us out until she outed the perpetrator. I have rarely seen an adult be so scary. After the kid got hauled off to the office, she kept us locked in that room, alternately hissing and yelling about violence to others, accountability, standing up for others, etc. She even cried in front of us. No one looked each other in the eye for a long time.

She’s no longer a teacher. Works at the health food store in town.”

6. At least he kept his job

“Six foot five and chubby beloved science-biology teacher in his late sixties who breeds his own lines of roses and other fauna. Played football at collegiate level then fought in a war.

Stupid spoiled redneck sixteen year old that can barely read who has rich farmer grandparents on both sides and thinks he is untouchable.

Teacher calls him in up to his desk and demands his notebook and homework assignments; complete or not.

Idiot grabs teachers ever-present giant coffee mug from the desk. Yells “Sooey pig pig pig!” and splashes coffee in teachers face.

Idiot runs for the door giggling like a madman but doesn’t make it. Gets tossed out of the classroom door so hard he hits the opposite wall in the hall and we hear him squealing and crying down the hall as he is repeatedly caught and kicked in the a** by a giant.

He kept his job.”

7. Father and son duo

“Art teacher threw a metal stool at a student. Soon after he “retired”.

The next art teacher was his son. Who then proceeded to hit on high school freshman and made fun of art work done by special Ed students (to the kids face). He got fired real quick. Father art teacher then harassed the other art teacher in the school, due to his sons termination, which resulted in a restraining order and him being banned from the school property.”

8. Substitute

“We had a substitute teacher in high school one day. It was for the last period of the day too. He was short, stocky, balding, looked similar to George Costanza from Seinfeld.

Anyway, the class is going well, everyones relaxed since we have a sub, the sub was pretty cool. I remember he asked a question about why his head is shiny (because people asked I think) and I was the only one who knew the answer apparently; oils on his scalp, its normal.

I thought we hit it off and it was all good. Anyway, fast forward to the end of the class. Hes writing something on the board and someone throws a balled up piece of paper at him. He gets immediately infuriated. Thinks we’ve been making fun of him the entire time and he’s just been trying to keep his cool. He loses it, he’s throwing chalk and erasers, he shakes and pushes the teachers chair, then he demands that whoever threw it came forward.

This goes on for about 15 minutes before the final bell rings and we’re supposed to go home. I can’t remember if he locked the door or stood in front of it, but he said he’s not letting anyone leave until the person confesses (so he could tell on them.)

The bell rings, nobody confessed yet, we’re all sitting in our seats, hes staring at me like he knows I did it (I didnt do it – im not that much of an a$shole) and I basically talk with him, “You can’t really keep us here forever, if we miss our buses you’re going to be the one in trouble for 30 students missing the bus.” and he still is adamant that nobody is leaving until he gets a name.

I look around the room to see if anyone looks guilty, nobody really does, and I cant think of who would have done it. I don’t have patience when it comes to going home right on time, nor dealing with childish antics. I stand up and put on my bookbag, I say to the substitute, “Yeah, it was me, now can we go?” he lets us leave and writes my name down on a piece of paper.

“YOURE GOING TO BE IN BIG TROUBLE!!” he says as I walk out of the class room with everyone. I just shook my head, because that entire thing makes him look so foolish. My friends are laughing and some ask, “Dude did you throw it?!” “That was awesome!” I just said, “F*** no man, that’s mean, he was a nice dude.”

The next day the real teacher returns and sits me down, “What is this I hear about you throwing stuff at the back of the sub’s head before the end of class the other day?” — Thus I had to explain again that I took the fall for whoever truly did it, because I dont have that sort of patience. And I wasn’t going to have my dad drive all the way to school to pick me up because some teacher had a napoleon complex.

I don’t know if he believed me or not, but it kind of bothered me. I don’t like lying, I don’t like taking the fall for cowards, I don’t like people being mean to other people and bullying, just everything that I hate about humanity happened in that class.”

9. Sounds like it

“Smashed a desk a kid was sitting at in half with a sledgehammer, he was legitimately a great teacher.”

10. Breakdown

“Physics teacher when I was in 12th grade. It was her first year back after being out a few years. No one knew why she had taken several years off. Every class she would spend at least five minutes, sometimes ten or even fifteen, gushing about all of her son’s accomplishments. This woman was really proud of her son. Fine and all but can we learn? She wasn’t even that great of a teacher and the class mostly struggled.

More than halfway through the year someone found out the reason she had taken several years off. Her son was in a horrible accident and had passed away. She had a mental breakdown and couldn’t teach. She talked about her son like he was still alive every day to us. Someone reported it to the school and they made her leave. We got stuck with some unqualified substitute teacher the rest of the year. More than half the class failed the final exam. I myself barely passed with a 70.”

11. At least he apologized

“One kid kept acting up in our grade school class and wouldn’t heed the teacher’s warning to quiet down. So teacher walks casually down the aisle where the kid sat, feigned a trip and elbowed the kid on his head then profusely apologized.”

12. Classy

“In 4th grade, my teacher tried to tell us that ducks can’t float. She claimed ducks feet were always paddling to keep them above water.

My friend and I knew this wasnt correct. My friend told his dad about it after having dinner.

My friends dad told him to tell the teacher she was “full of sh*t.” He had been drinking whiskey and beer as all good dads do.

So ny friend did tell the teacher she was full of shit. In class the next day.

The teacher said…. verbatim “your dad is full of f*cking sh*t” in front of a class of fourth graders.

She got fired.

13. Wow!

“My 8th grade science teacher bit me on the shoulder and left his dentures on me when he pulled his head back.”

14. Tatted up

“Had a teacher who decided he needed a tattoo. He’d never got one before, but now in his 60s he NEEDED one. He came into class one day with this huge bear taking up his entire lower leg. He wore shorts every day which was just awkward.

Then one day he just didn’t come in. Nobody could find him. Turned out, he disappeared up to Alaska like some neurotic supertramp.”

15. A few good ones

“Heh, I have a few that from the same school system.

I witnessed this one first hand but my 10th grade English teacher had a mental breakdown/racist rant in the middle of class. She’s white and our school population at the time was 76% black. I can’t remember exactly what was said but the teacher made some sly racist comment and no one really caught onto it except one girl. When she called her out, the teacher just lost her sh*t and started babbling on with racist comments. The entire class was in a absolute uproar. Security was called and eventually the police because it kept escalating. Students were actively searching for her throughout the school. That was the last time anyone ever saw her.

Our freshmen principal was a weird one with girls. I had seen him a few times doing some odd things such as hugging onto a student or rubbing their back as his hand got lower and lower. About halfway through the year he was gone. Years later I met someone who was a part of administration in my former school system and they told me several girls made sexual harassment claims against him. They did nothing after the first few because there wasn’t any evidence.

A 6th grade teacher got completely hammered before class. Ended up walking out of his class with his shirt off. No clue what happened to him when he walked out but we never saw him again either.”

The post Students Share the Most Insane Teacher Meltdowns They’ve Ever Witnessed appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Clever Ways to Get Unwanted Guests out of Your House

Listen, friends are great… but we all need our own space at the end of the night.

It happens to everyone: You invite some friends over for dinner and they stay for a few hours. But when you’re ready for them to leave, they just don’t get the hint. They linger on and on…and your night never ends.

Well, I have good news! AskReddit users were nice enough to share the best ways to get these folks out of your face when it seems like they’ll never leave.

1. Snooze alert

“Start talking about a topic that bores them.

Had that one friend living in the same building and visiting me too often and too long. But she kind of detested video games so whenever I started with “When I was playing Final Fantasy the other day…” she always blocked “Oh, look at the time! I have to go! Bye!” and went home for the day.”

2. The perfect song

“Play ‘Closing Time’ over and over again until they get the hint.”

3. Fight!

“My girlfriend and I always act like we’re getting pissed at each other and about to fight. No one wants to be around that.”

4. A good plan

“Stomach problems. Tell a guest that

“As much as I’d love for you to stay, I’m about to have serious gastrointestinal distress and I’d like you not to have to experience it with me!”

That has always worked for me.”

5. Take the small one

“English here. I have 2 sets of tea mugs in my house, small and large. If someone turns up and I don’t want them to be there long, I give them the small mugs and hope they leave when they’ve finished”

6. The British way

“If you’re British, you wait for any lull in conversation, put your hands on your knees as you stand up and say, “Well then…” “

7. The yawn is key

“Say, “Well, it was great catching up with you.” Stand up, head towards the door. Yawn loudly.

Although one time this didn’t work and I lost it. We had friends come to pick up an item they’d bought. They wouldn’t stop chatting. Oh, the questions about everything. I had an appointment 2hrs drive away and I didn’t want to be late. SO and I finally got them out of the house but they just stood there now talking about different stuff. I’d said I had to leave. Now. That I might be late. I felt panic. “It was great seeing you.” I walked to the car and started getting in. SO was trapped on the doorstep talking to them. I lost it, screaming, “Hurry up (SO’s name), we’re going to be f-cking late. Get in the car, now.” I look up to three shocked faces. SO says, “I’m coming. We’re just saying good bye.” “

8. This is great

“My grandpa used to get up, put on his pyjamas and act surprised that people were still in his living room. Worked like a charm.”

9. Adam

“My sister comes back from university for the weekend and one her friends gave her a lift home, let’s call him Adam. Bare in mind she arrived home at around 4pm. I get home from school around 5 and Adam is still there after inviting himself in as he wanted a quick rest from the 2 hour drive from Birmingham to London.

Anyway, skip forward a couple of hours. It’s 7pm, he’s still there and keeps saying he needs to leave soon as he is having Friday night dinner at his aunties, whilst my mum is cooking for our Friday night dinner. Finally my dad walks in at 7.30 and is greeted by Adam who he has never met before with his hood up and feet sprawled over the sofa. My bald dad asks why he has his hood up to which he responds wittingly with “I didn’t want to make you jealous of my hair.” Dad’s not happy, but laughs it off.

Eventually, Adam asks if he can stay for dinner, my mother being the typical Jewish mother that she is even though she has only cooked for the four of us can’t say no. Now, we don’t have a traditional Friday night dinner it usually last around 45 mins- 1 hour so think he will leave after. Oh, wrong we were, he’s still here at 11pm and not looking likely to leave any time soon.

Eventually, Adam leaves to use the toilet. At which point my dad comes up with an ingenious solution, someone will phone the mobile and he’ll pick up and pretend to be his brother claiming some emergency and we all have to go to his house. So, Adam comes out of the toilet, I ring my dad’s phone, he has a fake conversation with no one and hangs up. He tells Adam we have to go over to my uncles whilst my dad puts on his coat. Adam accepts this and start to get ready to leave.

10 minutes later, Adam is still there ‘getting ready’. This time my dad say we have to leave now and ushered everyone outside, locks the front door and we head to the car. Adam, gets into his car and just sits there. We wait a couple of minutes expecting him to drive off, but he never does, he just sits there looking at his phone. This is getting ridiculous now, my dad turns on the ignition and drives off. We go around the block and drive back up the road, and he is still there. So my dad parks up in the road next to house and wait 10 minutes to go back when he has finally gone.

We had to run away from our own house to get rid of an unwanted guest, because we are too polite to tell him to f-ck off.”

10. Turn up the heat

“My grandfather would always turn up the thermostat so all of the rooms got unbearably hot/stuffy haha.”

11. Infestation

“Scream rat / mouse and run out of the house.

Then when everyone is running out of the house you can run back in and lock yourself in.”

12. Straight to the point

“Tell them to go away.”

13. No job = No responsibilities

“When we have our unemployed friends over, that don’t grasp that we have to get up and go to work in the morning, I will change into my pj’s and start taking off my makeup. That is usually a big enough hint, at least for the women, then they take the guys with them.”

14. Not a bad idea

“Follow Carrie Fisher’s advice. Put on the Star Wars Christmas special.”

15. Time to leave

“Start stacking your chairs onto the tabletops, like you’re in a restaurant at closing time.”

The post 15 Clever Ways to Get Unwanted Guests out of Your House appeared first on UberFacts.

12 ‘House Hunters’ Jokes for Those of Us with a Totally Normal, Sane Budget

It seems like every couple of weeks there’s a fresh set of jokes online about the people looking for new homes on HGTV’s House Hunters, and let’s face it, they really bring it on themselves. Whether they’re complaining about cosmetic things like having to change the paint colors, freaking out about tiny kitchens abroad (duh!), or talking incessantly about having enough space to entertain (how many friends can a person have?), there’s no shortage of jokes, really.

But the jobs people have and the way they never seem to match up with the budget is everyone’s favorite joke – and these 12 are gold.

 

#12. How interesting.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#11. No biggie.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#10. You should get paid that much to help blind dogs.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#9. Only part time.

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#8. “Laberdoodles.” Lol.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#7. Co-exist.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#6. At least they compliment each other.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#5. In all fairness six years isn’t a long time.

Photo Credit: Imgur

#4. MEAT.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#3. Both of these are unacceptable.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#2. I feel like the wife is already living the dream.

Photo Credit: Twitter

#1. Well that’s why he needs a new house.

Photo Credit: Twitter

 

h/t: Woke Sloth

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6 Adorable Animals That Are Surprisingly Violent

They say don’t judge a book by its cover… and the same goes for animals. Don’t trust an animal just because it’s got a cute, fluffy exterior. Beneath those big eyes and purrs is a ferorious creature just waiting to be unleashed. These six animals are way more violent than you’d expect.

1. Swans

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Similar to cows, most swans are beautiful, gentle creatures, but there are some that are natural born killers. For example, a swan in Wales named Hannibal killed 15 fellow swans in a particularly vicious manner: Hannibal bit his victims, beat them with his wings, and broke their toes before holding them underwater and drowning them.

So basically, Hannibal is a swan serial killer.

And then there was the swan that was constantly attacking rowers on a river in England, until he and his mate were relocated to avoid further carnage.

2. Beavers

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Beavers may look harmless, but they have huge, razor-sharp teeth that can chomp right through a femoral artery, which is what happened to a fisherman who died from his injuries in Belarus in 2013. They’ve also been known to attack swimmers and go after dogs. So it’s best to avoid these guys.

3. Cows

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Most cows are not violent, but a specific type known as Heck cattle are also called (this isn’t a joke) “Nazi Super Cows.” These cows were bred in Nazi Germany and still roam parts of that country today. A farmer in England bought some of the cows and brought them to the UK, but soon discovered his mistake. He said, “They would try to kill anyone.”

4. Dolphins

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Not Flipper!!! Yes, I’m sorry to report that dolphins are actually pretty deadly, especially to each other. It wasn’t until the 1990s when researchers discovered that male dolphins slaughtered other dolphins, including their own babies.

They’ve also been known to occasionally attack swimmers.

5. Prairie Dogs

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Prairie dogs are plant eaters, but that doesn’t mean they don’t murder other animals. Their main competition for resources on the prairie are squirrels, and they’ve been known to attack and bite them to death, though they don’t eat their bodies.

Prairie dogs that kill have offspring that live longer than non-killers, so scientists are curious whether this phenomenon is occurring in other animals as well.

6. Koalas

Photo Credit: iStock

Koalas mostly keep to themselves and spend 22 hours a day sleeping, but sometimes they can snap and go after dogs and humans. And their bite is quite nasty.

Be careful out there! The animals might be taking over!

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People Who Grew up in the ’80s Will Love These Memes

The 1980s were a wonderful decade. It’s no wonder people are still nostalgic for the unique styles and sounds.

If you missed it, you blew it! But even if you weren’t there, you’re gonna like these memes that pay homage to that glorious decade.

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