15 Pick Up Lines That Women Actually Liked Hearing

If you’re a guy (or a woman, for that matter) in the dating world, pickup lines probably go in one ear and out the other. They’re so unoriginal and just plain insulting…at least most of the time. These 15 stories prove that if you’ve got a good line, you could still get the girl.

#15. No.

“Guy – “Hey, you want some good sex tonight?”

Girl – “No”

Guy – “You came to the right place then”

#14. He wasn’t even French.

“It wasn’t use on me but I overheard a conversation between this guy with a heavy French accent and some hurl I front of me in an economics class. I wasn’t really paying attention till I heard him say “Let me take you out for ice cream, you look like you’d enjoy some French Vanilla” and I almost died. She said no, and I later found out he wasn’t even French, just very good at accents.”

#13. A bit of cute.

“You have a bit of cute on your face.”

Apparently this was used by both my bf and one of his friends to his current gf. Both gents got the line from a single friend who is still single.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯”

12. Nice buns

“I don’t like when people hit on me at work, but this one made me chuckle. I’m a baker and I was putting some hamburger buns on the shelf. A guy walked up behind me and said “hey nice buns.” Simple, but I laughed.”

Edit: anyone else want to make the beaver joke? Original, y’all.”

#11. You dropped something.

“Guy: Hey, you dropped something.

Girl: What?

Guy: Your standards. My name’s _______”

#10. You look like a cab driver.

“I was a security guard for Seahawks games, and we had to wear yellow jackets, black caps, and black slacks.

At the end of the game, we were going through and clearing out all the drunk people and this one guy I was helping to the door looked at me up and down and said “You look like a cab driver….you should take me home” and then winked at me. Told him it was a great line and to use it on someone else.”

#9. Worth it.

“My first kiss was with my best friend at the time in middle school. He bet me a quarter that he could kiss me without touching my lips. I thought he was just going to kiss my cheek or hand or something and say I owed him a quarter, but he really kissed me, pulled a quarter out of his pocket, pressed it in my hand and said ‘worth it.’”

#8. I think you’re doing it wrong.

“Sitting in a cafe doing homework. I hear a guy go, “I’m not trying to be weird, I’m just trying to figure out what kind of math you’re doing, because I think you’re doing it wrong.” He was right and helped me out. Asked me out in a date afterwards and we’re been together 7 years, married almost more than half of that.”

#7. She saw an opportunity.

“I was at a skating rink and this girl fell right in front of me and said “I think I’ve fallen for you.* Idk if she saw an opportunity and took it or was serious, but I don’t swing that way… sorry.”

#6. Until I got to the car.

“I was walking out of a book store when a guy told me I had dropped something. I looked at the floor thinking I had dropped a receipt or something. The guy then replies “my jaw”. My dumbass didn’t realize it until I got to the car.”

#5. Incredible charmed.

“Had a paraplegic guy roll up to me and tell me ‘I’m 6’4” layin’ down’. I was incredibly charmed.”

#4. Hi, my name is John.

“Hi my name is John if anyone is looking to make a mistake tonight.” I wasn’t, but damn I thought that was funny.”

#3. I’m more into titans.

“At a nerd convention some guy asked if I wanted to see his giant robot. My brain didn’t compute I was being hit on, I thought we were talking about anime so I responded “I’m more into titans.”

#2. We’re married.

“Hey, you’re beautiful. Can I tell you that again next saturday over dinner?”

Lol maybe cheesey but I guess it worked because we’re married.

Edit:

They want a haiku,

I suppose I should write one.

But I’m so lazy.”

#1. Good fortune.

“I was working at a sushi restaurant in a small Texas town. I was serving a group of 3, a couple and their friend. So at the end of the meal the lonely guy (one may call him a neck beard or one of those nice guy types) asks if will open fortune cookies with them. In my head, I’m thinking I hope this gets me a a decent tip.

I open my cookie and it has some generic fortune. I ask him what his says. He replies without missing a beat: “my says the cute waitress will give me her number”. I giggled and politely decline saying I have a boyfriend.

It was one of the smoothest pick lines I’ve ever seen used but also from the least likely of people.”

The post 15 Pick Up Lines That Women Actually Liked Hearing appeared first on UberFacts.

10 Tumblr Posts to Take with You As You Obliterate the Patriarchy

As if you need more inspiration to get out there and smash the patriarchy, I know. But keep these 10 posts for those days when you need a bit of a recharge because they’re definitely going to do the trick!

#10. Asterisk FTW.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#9. Opinions are the worst.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#8. Boob pockets. Lol.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#7. Yes. Yes, it is.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#6. Universal Austen Truths.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#5. I mean really.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#4. Fear the boob monolith!

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#3. That moment when…

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#2. Yes, exactly like that.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

#1. Burnnnnn.

Photo Credit: Tumblr

The post 10 Tumblr Posts to Take with You As You Obliterate the Patriarchy appeared first on UberFacts.

These 17 Photos Show What Life is Like Before And After Having Kids

Few things are more life-changing than having kids, as these 17 photos demonstrate. Whether or not you have kids yourself, these pics will remind you of old times or show you what you have to look forward to.

1. This is what parenting feels like, in a nutshell.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

2. From party animal to professional hairstylist.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

3. She wanted one of these pictures taken way more than the other.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

4. From “let’s stay up all night” to “I can’t believe the baby kept us up all night.”

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

5. Oh, how things change.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

6. This young girl hasn’t even turned five-years-old and she’s already a mother.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

7. Raising a future party animal.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

8. Dads make great ice cream catchers.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

9. Get used to it. No food is safe anymore.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

10. Other parents: I feel like my kid is holding me prisoner.

Them:

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

11. The cat got a demotion.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

12. From “sexiest man alive” to sticker sheet.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

13. A ladies man through and through.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

14. There’s nothing more metal than waking your dad up at 6 am.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

15. Kids make for great strength training.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

16. She’s still got time to sneak a drink.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

17. If you’re that old and sleeping in a race car bed, something either went right or went really wrong.

Photo Credit: Instagram: gottoddlered

The post These 17 Photos Show What Life is Like Before And After Having Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

12 Ridiculously Positive People Who Are Happy No Matter What

Have you ever met someone who remains positive no matter what? Even if it’s kind of annoying sometimes, you can’t help but admire their great attitude, even when things are going wrong.

Well, these 12 people certainly fit that mold. Despite their circumstances, these positive folks refuse to see anything but the bright side of things.

1. One of these things is not like the other.

2. The dictionary definition of “luck.”

Photo Credit: Facebook: Men’s Humor

3. Heck yeah, dude!

Photo Credit: Reddit: itstillworks1

4. “My friend, who has been in a coma for 3 months and presumed dead, texted me this.”

Photo Credit: Twitter: ysIkiwis

5. Just a little further…

6. “While everyone wanted a PS and iPads in the orphanage, this little girl just asked for a ‘tucked-in donkey.’”

Photo Credit: Reddit: shootout101

7. Relaxing after a hard day’s work.

Photo Credit: Reddit: Derpston_P_Derp

8. Find your puddle.

Photo Credit: Imgur: Wuzby

9. What matters is that you’re having fun.

Photo Credit: Reddit: Drezer

10. Getting arrested is no excuse not to smile for the camera.

Photo Credit: Reddit: C0c04l4

11. You can do it.

Photo Credit: Reddit: Nobyl

12. “When my grandma was 80, she got hit by a truck. Here she is on her 100th birthday having outlived the guy that hit her.”

Photo Credit: Imgur

The post 12 Ridiculously Positive People Who Are Happy No Matter What appeared first on UberFacts.

You Can Only Laugh At These 12 Things If Your Cat Is Rude As Hell

Anyone who has a cat knows that they can be so mean sometimes. Sure, they have their nice moments, but when they want to be mean, they unleash a true deviousness that is unrivaled in the animal kingdom. If you think your cat is rude, know that you are not alone. These 12 people also have cats that are professional meanies, so laugh along with them until your cat jumps on top of your keyboard.

1. “Your keys were on my bed.”

Photo Credit: Reddit: AbstractSkylines

2. “A very unambitious vandal broke in?”

Photo Credit: Twitter: @rachelmillman

3. This guy is so glad he spent all that money on a cat lounge.

Photo Credit: Imgur: angrymallard

4. Something isn’t right here.

Photo Credit: Reddit: raybanpat

5. That’s in the director’s cut.

6. Cat, meet baby.

Photo Credit: Reddit: local306

7. At least they’re honest.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @MaraWilson

8. At least it’s having a good laugh.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @bnr7403

9. Photo evidence.

Photo Credit: Reddit: taylorrayo

10. This is the 15th century equivalent of walking across your owner’s keyboard.

11. “You’re hot then you’re cold…”

Photo Credit: Twitter: @sad_tree

12. “Thank you for the new box. Can you please get this tower out of the way?”

The post You Can Only Laugh At These 12 Things If Your Cat Is Rude As Hell appeared first on UberFacts.

17+ Cute Illustrations Of Words That Sound the Same but Mean Something Different

If you speak English or are taking the time to learn it, you know how utterly strange it is. Why in the world are there so many words that sound the same but mean something different? It’s so confusing!

Thankfully, Bruce Worden of the blog “Homophones, Weakly” is here to clear a few things up. Each week, he posts a new clever illustration that shows the difference between two words that sound the same but mean something completely different. By the time you finish reading this list, you’re probably worthy of an honorary English degree.

1.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

2.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

3.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

4.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

5.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

6.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

7.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

8.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

9.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

10.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

11.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

12.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

13.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

14.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

15.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

16.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

17.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

18.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

19.

Photo Credit: Bruce Worden

The post 17+ Cute Illustrations Of Words That Sound the Same but Mean Something Different appeared first on UberFacts.

Artist Reveals the Hidden Side of Long Term Relationships with Hilarious Illustrations

Long-term relationships might seem like a perfect, beautiful, romantic experience where couples sit around in monogamous bliss. But, as anyone who’s in a relationship will tell you…it ain’t always like that. That’s not to say there aren’t wonderful times – there are plenty – it’s just that not everything is as picture-perfect as it is in rom-coms.

But don’t just take my word for it. LA-based artist Amanda Oleander has been documenting the lives of couples behind closed doors and her work is way too relatable. She’s been dating a man named Joey for the past three years and is very open about how much their relationship has influenced her work. “Before I met Joey if anyone told me their love and relationship was like ours I wouldn’t believe it,” Oleander said in an interview with Bored Panda. ” It’s nothing less than amazing. We can’t get enough of each other.”

She went on to say that, “[She’s] enthralled by the way people behave behind closed doors, intimate moments we never get to see. Those are moments that can’t really be documented because if they were, it would alter the way the person behaved. So I draw them.”

You can check out some of Amanda’s work below.

1.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

2.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

3.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

4.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

5.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

6.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

7.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

8.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

9.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

10.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

11.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

12.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

13.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

14.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

15.

Photo Credit: Amanda Oleander

The post Artist Reveals the Hidden Side of Long Term Relationships with Hilarious Illustrations appeared first on UberFacts.

These Newspaper Edits Are So Ridiculous, They’ll Make You Do a Double-Take

In the newspaper industry, there are bound to be typos. With so many copies going out each day, you can’t expect for everything to be perfect. All we can hope for is that when things do go wrong, it ends up making something pretty funny in the process.

1. Words, words, words!

Photo Credit: Reddit: Kenuff

2. Oh, y’all knew what you were doing.

3. “Are you sure this is the only picture we have?”

Photo Credit: Reddit: angryman8000

4. I’d fight for a porg any day.

Photo Credit: Imgur

5. This is my nightmare.

Photo Credit: Imgur

6. Now we know who’s really in charge.

Photo Credit: Reddit: SearScare

7. They’re still at large.

Photo Credit: Reddit: CgSw

8. What a unique name…

Photo Credit: Reddit: final_count_down

9. At least she looks happy.

Photo Credit: Imgur: rossmiers87

10. That’s…not how numbers work.

11. You could have used so many other verbs…

Photo Credit: Imgur: WullieBlake

12. Um, we’re good.

Photo Credit: Reddit

13. He’s such a good lawyer, not even he was safe.

Photo Credit: Imgur: WullieBlake

The post These Newspaper Edits Are So Ridiculous, They’ll Make You Do a Double-Take appeared first on UberFacts.

These 17 People Are so Lazy They Might Be Brilliant

We’ve all had a lazy day or two in our lives, but these people took it to a whole new level. Some of them are so lazy, it’s just downright impressive.

1. Who wants the corner slice?

Photo Credit: Imgur: Jfrkc

2. His friend’s reaction says it all.

Photo Credit: Reddit: Barkboy63

3. Who knew takeout containers could float?

Photo Credit: Imgur: sparrow1889

4. Ah, yes…the classic “lazy knot.”

Photo Credit: Reddit: unstablereality

5. Sounds like the best day ever.

Photo Credit: Reddit: NooneHasThatName

6. Just like they did in the old days.

Photo Credit: Twitter: millselle

7. “I don’t need my own power chair honey…”

Photo Credit: Twitter: @FreddyAmazin

8. Why throw away toilet paper rolls when you can make art instead?

Photo Credit: Reddit: Dylsta23

9. There’s no law that says you have to get out of the car.

Photo Credit: Imgur

10. When your razor breaks but you’ve got an interview in the morning.

11. When all the plates are dirty.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @sheldonAvaughn

12. Even kiosks need a day off.

Photo Credit: Reddit: Frivus

13. This young student needed to write a bunch of Hs. I’d give them an A+.

Photo Credit: Reddit: Im_that_stupid

14. DIY weenie roast.

Photo Credit: Reddit: NugBug420

15. Need. More. Wheels.

Photo Credit: Twitter: @duneracer2

16. When you want to turn off the light but also don’t want to get out of bed.

Photo Credit: Reddit: margari7a

17. There…that’s better.

Photo Credit: Imgur: hiddenvalley

The post These 17 People Are so Lazy They Might Be Brilliant appeared first on UberFacts.

15+ PMS Tweets That Only the Ladies Will Understand

Ladies, this article is for you, and you only.

Men might think they understand, but trust me, we don’t know anything about your PMS struggles.

So it’s time to laugh and learn.

1.

Photo Credit: Twitter

2.

Photo Credit: Twitter

3.

Photo Credit: Twitter

4.

Photo Credit: Twitter

5.

Photo Credit: Twitter

6.

Photo Credit: Twitter

7.

Photo Credit: Twitter

8.

Photo Credit: Twitter

9.

Photo Credit: Twitter

10.

Photo Credit: Twitter

11.

Photo Credit: Twitter

12.

Photo Credit: Twitter

13.

Photo Credit: Twitter

14.

Photo Credit: Twitter

15.

Photo Credit: Twitter

16.

Photo Credit: Twitter

17.

Photo Credit: Twitter

18.

Photo Credit: Twitter

The post 15+ PMS Tweets That Only the Ladies Will Understand appeared first on UberFacts.