Internet Can’t Stop Laughing at Gangster Arrested Carrying a Gun from 1858

If there’s one thing the internet’s got in spades, it’s jokes about fools who got caught lookin’ silly. These days, you might just be one fail away from being the subject of your own viral social media thread.

The latest victim? A self-proclaimed gangster called Amador Carlos Martinez, who was recently pulled over by Fresno Police and was subsequently arrested for possession of a firearm.

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

What makes the case unique, however, is the TYPE of gun that Martinez had on him. Specifically, a Remington Model 1858 Black Powder Revolver.

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

According to the Fresno Police Department’s Facebook page:

On Monday, March 11, 2019, at 5:00 P.M. Southeast Special Response Team Officer Dillon Biggs and Officer Sukhbir Chauhan were proactively patrolling the area of Third St and Madison Ave in an effort to reduce gang violence and shootings in the Southeast Policing District. They initiated a traffic stop for a vehicle code violation. They contacted the driver, 19-year-old Amador Carlos Martinez, a self-admitted Ruthless Thug Life Fresno Bulldog Criminal Street Gang Member.

Martinez admitted to Officer Biggs he had a loaded 44 Magnum revolver under the driver seat. Martinez said he possessed the firearm for his protection against other gang members. Martinez was arrested and booked into the Fresno County Jail for being a felon in possession of a firearm. Please see the attached photograph of the handgun recovered and of suspect Amador Carlos Martinez

Naturally, people had jokes.

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

So many jokes.

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Seriously, the comments thread on this is a goldmine.

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

I’d feel bad for the guy, but he is a convicted felon, so… I’ma keep laughing!

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Photo Credit: Fresno Police Department

Too funny!

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15 People Reveal the Crazy Incident from Their School That No One Can Forget

Everyone has a memory from growing up that’s referred to simply as, “The Incident.” It’s that story that everyone remembers even years and years after the fact. In my case, it was a rather lewd incident that occurred between two teachers during school hours. They were pretty old too, so it was the kind of image that gets indelibly burned into your memory due to how horrific it is.

AskReddit users shared “the incident” from their school days.

How does your match up?

1. Holy cow

“The high school cop was fired for molesting a ten year old girl. He then murdered his wife, and fled. He’s on Marshalls top 15 most wanted list now. His mom thinks he’s dead. His name was Dan Hyers.”

2. That’s nice…and kind of shocking

“At a private Christian school a girl in 12th grade got pregnant. According to the official rules, she was supposed to be expelled to protect the school’s ‘image’.

Instead all the teachers and principals got together and decided that that’s not what Jesus would do, and that the rule was idiotic. They didn’t expel her and gave her all the support she needed during the pregnancy and after.”

3. Smooth move

“A girl tried selling weed to the school cop.

She’s the type of person who would smoke hand soap because it had the word hemp in it.”

4. Bathroom Bandits

“Someone stole a urinal from one of the boys’ bathrooms in high school. All year the principal went on about how if we knew anything we should come forward because “we must stop the Bathroom Bandits!”

Of course no one came forward because once the Bathroom Bandits had a name they became legend. I never did find out who they were, but someone found the urinal three years later, hidden under some stairs behind the auditorium, a good distance from the bathroom it was taken from.”

5. Birthday: Ruined

“Someone set off a pepper spray bomb in the hallway after lunch.

We were evacuated to the building next door and only directly related family members were allowed to pick us up. My neighbor drove my sister and I to school… so we were stuck there for like 3 hours.

Also that was on my birthday.”

6. Quite a discovery

“When I was in high school we had an “outdoor discovery” class that was basically just a giant ropes course. The teacher for that class was a nice middle aged man. One day he decided to take a shower in the locker room between periods and had a stroke. Now I don’t know what about this stroke was different but it made him decide he needed to go for a jog……around the high school….. and middle school…… naked as the day he was born.

So hes butt naked, sprinting past classroom windows in just his socks and sneakers, which he somehow thought to put on, when a sub goes outside to see whats going on when the outdoor teacher runs over and basically starts playing a game of “catch me if you can” until the ambulance arrives. It was a very odd day. But he was back to work a couple weeks later, making kids swing from ropes and climb over logs like normal.

Edit: Just saw I got a bunch of replies. To clarify: No he was not a druggie and didn’t go on a bender. He was an older man, outdoorsman, healthy and didn’t give off any kind of drug vibe.

It is possible, as some have pointed out, that he had an underlying condition that somehow got triggered and lead to this. He was a nice guy even after this happened, probably a little embarrassed about everyone seeing his birthday suit, but he carried on.”

7. Legend

“Former South African SAS now high school tech teacher ripped his shirt off and confronted a gang member that had come onto school grounds with a knife to ‘take out’ a student with connections to a rival gang.

Tech teacher wraps his torn shirt around his hand and grabs the knife while punching the gang member in the head with the other hand, knocking him out cold. All at lunchtime with half the school watching.

Absolute. F*cking. Legend.”

8. Sexy time

“Seniors at our high-school had a lounge, real nice place, it was at a back area near the auditorium.

They found a couple having sex there, and so they did the reasonable thing to do and moved the lounge’s location to right next to the front office.

Then they found people smoking weed in there so they removed the walls to the lounge and added glass walls instead.”

9. An interesting day

“In middle school, some kids put laxative chocolates in donuts and handed them out. The school went on lockdown. The police came. Kids were crying. Kids were pooping. Kids were looking for some donuts to get out of class.

Fortunately, I did not fall victim.

Although, while the school was on lockdown, I was in my science class disecting owl poop for four hours.

I bet if we were in high school, the kids would have gotten stricter punishments, because, legally, it could be poison. It was an interesting day.”

10. Okay, that’s pretty intense

“This one kid was constantly bullied by a group of rednecks. One day when he was at McDonald’s they showed up and started taunting him and berating him and so he left and went to the tractor supply store next door.

So he’s walking around and they followed him and started taunting him again and just being dicks. Next thing you know the bullied kid picks up an axe from the aisle and hits the leader of the bullies in the face. Everyone called it the ‘axe-cident’.”

11. Gunman

“In elementary we had 3 students that had to go out and empty the compost in the afternoon. One day my 2 friends and I were disposing of the compost outside and we seen a guy carrying a shotgun (which happened to be loaded, we didn’t know) literally down the road beside the school.

My friends and I thought he was probably just going duck hunting so we went over and talked to him, he was a pretty chill guy. When we went inside the school everybody was hiding underneath the desks and the school was in lockdown due to a armed-man walking around the school with intent to kill, I was scared shitless at the thought of such a man not realizing I had just had a 5 minute convo with him about hunting.

The next day we all found out that the armed man broke into a house down the road and shot somebody.”

12. Ugh!

“8th grade. 2 girls attempted to get drunk on lamp oil. It’s like lighter fluid for old timey lamps. They ended up in the ER for a few days. Luckily they got sick quickly and a teacher found them puking in the bathroom because someone who is not an idiot told on them.”

13. Followed him through the years

“A kid took a picture (Polaroid) of his junk and put it in the mens room (god knows why) in 6th grade. Anyway, they somehow figured out it was him and this followed him all the way through high school.”

14. Insanity

“My freshmen year of college our Dean of admissions was arrested for forcing chinese foreign students to do manual labor at her house under threat of revoking their student status. While awaiting trial (for slavery), she tried to burn her house down for the insurance money. When that didn’t work, she killed herself.”

15. Wrestling fail

“There was also the time were a kid died in the “courtyard” after practicing wrestling moves, falling and hitting his head on the bench. As someone who saw him fall, be resuscitated by a teacher, and then die, it was pretty traumatic. That was probably the main incident until a couple of years later when another kid died after getting hit by a car after school.”

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Neighbors Sue Owner of this “Flintstone” House Because it’s So Ugly

Unless you live in a town where every house looks the same, you’re probably familiar with the Ugly House. You know, that house in the neighborhood that’s painted a bizarre shade and/or looks like it was designed by an alien architect. The Ugly House is charming, but it also offends some neighbors.

In Hillsborough, California, the Ugly House is known as the Flintstones House.

Photo Credit: Distractify

The owner, Florence Fang, is obsessed with the Flintstones, and the property looks like the cartoon come to life. The house is rounded, red and purple, and it’s surrounded by fake dinosaurs. Also, the words “Yabba Dabba” are spelled out on the lawn.

You’ve gotta hand it to Florence for commitment!

Apparently, the neighbors are fed up with this house’s appearance, because the owner now has a lawsuit filed against her. BY THE WHOLE TOWN. Poor Florence.

Photo Credit: Distractify

Honestly, ugliness aside, the idea of a Flintstones House is pretty neat, like something that should be open for tours. Kids would love it!

But not everyone agrees. The lawsuit claims that Florence “created live-safety hazards that required immediate correction to protect visitors to the property.”

In the past, the Hillsborough building department has issued citations, $200 in fines, and stop orders to Florence over the house. They claim her additions were “designed to be very intrusive, resulting in the owner’s ‘vision’ for her property being imposed on many other properties and views, without regard to the desires of other residents.”

If you’re wondering who on Earth this Florence woman is: she’s a businesswoman, philanthropist, and former newspaper publisher. She also has no intention of giving in to the lawsuit. Watch out, neighbors.

The post Neighbors Sue Owner of this “Flintstone” House Because it’s So Ugly appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Discuss the Worst Movie They’ve Ever Seen

For every great movie out there, you’d better believe that there are just as many (if not way, way more) bad ones out there. What’s the absolute worst film you ever recall seeing?

While I won’t bore you with a lengthy diatribe about my pick for that (dis)honor, these AskReddit users felt no such need to hold back!

Share yours in the comments!

1. Sounds traumatic

“Gotti starring John Travolta. I took a girl on a second date as she wanted to see it due to her love for mob/mafia movies. I think I witnessed part of her soul die that night.

There was no third date.”

2. Not a fan

“Slenderman. F*ck that movie.”

3. Won’t be seeing that

“House of the Dead. Worst mesh of game and movie integration I have ever seen. Terrible directing with terrible actors in an incoherent plot.”

4. Not a good viewing experience

“Ahh there was a Ted Bundy movie that came out in the late 90s/early 2000s. I was sleeping over my cousins’ house and my uncle went to Blockbuster and asked for a “scary” movie, but I guess he didn’t specify that we were all like 12-15. We watched the whole thing. It was so so awful, and it wasn’t only because it was traumatic.”

5. Two doozies

“I’ll only focus on full budget, studio productions. Small-time movies are hard and I hardly blame people for messing those up.

Battlefield Earth – OK, so this is funny if you think of it as a comedy, but they clearly intended for it to be a real scifi movie. This is a movie that is 1000 years in the future and they find our fighter jets….in a hangar…..with fuel in them…..that still work when you turn them on….and are able to learn to fly them and shoot missiles with them(which also still work).

Highlander 2 – So the immortals we learned about….come from a planet….a planet where you die in normal time….but our two leads are punished by being sent to earth…..where they will be immortal….until the villain go to earth later himself…..not having aged even though he was back on the other planet.”

6. Hahahaha

“Gigli. My girlfriend at the time made me take her to see it. We broke up later that week.”

7. Heard some things about this…

“Fantastic Four (2015)

An awful movie that becomes completely incoherent in the 2nd half.”

8. Sounds incredible

“A little gem called Airplane vs Volcano. It’s on Amazon Prime. It stars Dean Cain. It’s about an airplane with about 6 passengers that gets stuck inside an emerging ring of volcanos off the coast of Hawaii. The pilots die due to… Don’t think about it.

And the airplane has an emergency auto-pilot that makes the plane fly in circles. You know! To avoid another 9/11. Now it’s up to Dean Cain and some other passengers to push past the volcanoes’ ash clouds. They have to survive… Meteors?

That always hit the wings of the plane. And a psycho who thinks Dead Cain is not doing his best, so he wants to form a mutiny and basically kill everyone. The Army is there, and they can help, except the general doesn’t want to because of reasons. So he waits until the final moment to send a squad of fighter jets, to fight volcanoes mind you, and get all the passengers to safety.

Dean Cain gets hit by… I have no fucking clue… But he decides to sacrifice himself by crashing the plane (which is now filled with bombs) into the Big Boss Volcano. Even though everyone was evacuated and he can be evacuated as well and get medical help, he goes though with it saying “You’re a big bitch” as he crashed into the big volcano.

Seriously 0/10 but it’s worth to watch.”

9. I need to check this out

“Tiptoes

With Gary Oldman, in the role of a lifetime…”

10. Atrocious

“After Earth.

The acting was atrocious and the story barely made any sense. I mean who’s idea was it to have Will Smith and Jayden Smith talk in shitty psuedo-english accents during the movie??? I mean I know it’s supposed to be “how english will sound like in the future,” but that seems somehow even more stupid.”

11. A Nic Cage delight

“The Wicker Man with Nic Cage. So awful I couldn’t leave the theater, crying laughing. Trying to create suspense by bicycling quickly through the countryside. So bad.”

12. Sounds decent

“Birdemic. It was so bad it was hilarious.”

13. Childhood = Ruined

“Dragonball Evolution. It was like watching a drunk guy vomit all over my childhood.”

14. What a load…

“Human Centipede 3. Not like I thought it would be anything more than a bad horror flick, but man what a load of annoying shit.”

15. Just terrible…

“That Adam Sandler movie ‘Jack & Jill’. It was terrible.”

The post 15 People Discuss the Worst Movie They’ve Ever Seen appeared first on UberFacts.

Satirical Article from ‘The Onion’ Inspires Chef to Create This Easy-to-Make Treat for Kids

The Onion has been entertaining internet audiences with their satirical news stories for years (and also faking some people out). But their headlines are usually along the lines of something like this:

Photo Credit: Facebook,The Onion

And we all have a good laugh at that person’s expense. But this example of a person falling for a headline from The Onion is actually really nice and heartwarming, so we just had to share it with you.

An Australian fella named Adam Liaw noticed an Onion story on Twitter, and he decided to reply to it.

Liaw is a chef – take a look at what he decided to do next.

How nice!

The next day Liaw came back and shared his creation. Follow the directions closely…

Photo Credit: Twitter

Good idea from the chef! And simple to make, too!

And finally, you’ll be able to use the leftover chocolate for other recipes.

Liaw was seriously praised for his efforts.

On behalf of all the parents out there, thanks, Mr. Liaw!

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9 Insanely Brilliant Ideas We Wish We’d Thought Of

Every now and then, I come across someone on the internet who has had an idea that is so brilliant and simple that I feel like kicking myself.

So now, I share them with you…

1. DO IT

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

2. I did the ‘name your kid’ thing all wrong

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

3. WUT!

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

4. Already on the ‘to-do’ list

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

5. YES

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

6. STOP IT

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

7. OH. MY. G….

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. Unnecessary, but I like it…

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

9. “Brand new”? Excuse me? Jane’s Addiction, anyone?

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

You know what, Internet? I can’t thank you enough.

The post 9 Insanely Brilliant Ideas We Wish We’d Thought Of appeared first on UberFacts.

15+ Puns That Are Too Damn Punny

It drives my wife absolutely INSANE, but I am an absolute pun fanatic. A “punatic,” if you will. A good pun is a truly terrible thing to waste in my opinion, and these ones are all great!

Let’s go!

1. Mmmmm, liquorice…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

2. Because they don’t like to laugh.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

3. Doggone funny!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

4. Marriage material!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

5. These should be everywhere!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

6. OMG!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

7. Tooth hurty! ?

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

8. I’ll have what she’s having.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

9. I think he did come back.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

10. Hey now!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

11. It does mean a lot. Literally.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

12. Less than a fraction…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

13. The right thing to tell somebody who sends you this.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

14. Oh boy…

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

15. The best mowers ever.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

16. They’re both great at storage.

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

17. Ohhhhhh sheeeeeeeeetttttt

Photo Credit: Petty Mayo

Brb, DYING!

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Apparently, Twitter Users Have Strong Feelings about Why 1-Ply Toilet Paper Should Be Banned

1-ply toilet paper. Why? Yeah, it’s cheaper, but is it effective? When will the FDA and Consumer Reports step in and lay down the law to say it’s unsafe and impractical?!

Lol.

These Twitter users have something to say about 1-ply, and it’s safe to say we can all relate.

1. Passive aggressive wife knows no limits

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

2. When 1-Ply loses friends

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

3. Someone finally said it!

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

4. The Chronicles of 1-Ply

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

5. This is a relationship deal breaker

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

6. That’s just wrong and oddly hilarious

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

7. Truth

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

8. “You have been sentenced to life with 1-ply”

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

9. We are all wondering the same thing

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

10. Literally her “inner self”

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

11. Please illegalize the use of 1-ply

Photo Credit: Petty Mayonnaise

And with these real complaints, I say all 1-ply be banned.

The post Apparently, Twitter Users Have Strong Feelings about Why 1-Ply Toilet Paper Should Be Banned appeared first on UberFacts.

15 People Who Definitely Lost the Genetic Lottery

Genetics are a tricky thing. You could live your best life, eat healthy, exercise, avoid drinking and smoking and still end up with some horrible disease.

It’s tragic, but true.

In this AskReddit article, people share how they believe genetics cheated them.

1. Bad knees

“Knees. They just don’t work properly, even after the operations to keep them from dislocating. They always hurt.”

2. Squinting

“My ‘Beautiful’ light green eyes are so bad at denying light that I constantly squint, which leads to headaches.”

3. Damn him!

“Unibrow. My younger brother has thin half-eyebrows. Me (F) has one long, thick and bushy brow that goes from one hairline clear across to the other.

That rat bastard brother is also nearly completely hairless on his arms and legs. And blond.

That f*cker.”

4. Ugh

“My fathers family has early onset dementia, my mother’s family all live to be 100.

So I’m destined to lose my mind at 50, and spend the next half century wondering were I left it.”

5. No fun

“I’m Arab on my mum’s side and Italian on my dad’s.Basically I have to spend a lot of money on hair removal.

I’m a woman, for everyone asking.”

6. That sucks

“Severe acne.

Looking back over old family photos, it seems to be a common feature. At least it’ll clear up at some point.”

7. Rough

“Psoriasis all over my torso/legs/scalp.

It’s kinda weird to bring it up on a first date as well, so I got ghosted an awful lot before finally getting it under control.”

8. Bummer

“My orthodontist legit said I had a monkey face and that my jaw kinda went outwards and she said the surgery wouldnt be so costly, only for my dad to say we couldn’t afford it. Hits hard sometimes.”

9. Take care of yourself

“Both my grandfathers dropped dead at age 59.

Both from cerebral hemorrhages.

I have high blood pressure.

I’ll turn 52 this summer.

Tic, toc.”

10. One way…

“I am 6 ft tall and have the wingspan of someone who is 5’4. Basically a human T-rex.”

11. That’s strange

“My great-grandfather had 3 kidneys. I’ve had kidney problems since I was a baby.”

12. That’s not good

“Absolutely shitty teeth. Some people don’t have to wear braces. It was crucial for me to wear them but my parents weren’t educated enough on the matter to make me wear them. So now, at 28 i’ve had more teeth surgeries than i can count, finally have them straight but the price and the pain i had to endure for them is 20 times more than i would have 20 years ago.”

13. And the other…

“I’m 6’2 and have the wingspan of someone who’s 6’6. I look like fucking slender man.”

14. Luck of the draw

“Twin Gets Nothing, I Get:

•Colour Blindness

•3rd-Generation Acne

•HyperMobility

•Muscle Spasms

•Creaking Bones

•4th-Generation Early Arthritis”

15. Bad news

“I’m a woman. I have a hot mom but came out looking like my dad.”

The post 15 People Who Definitely Lost the Genetic Lottery appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Twitter Thread Had Everyone Insulting Babies,

Who doesn’t love babies? They’re so sweet and adorable and innocent. They’re literally called “bundles of joy.”

Well, not everyone feels that way. I know plenty of folks who aren’t really enamored with toddlers. A lot of them even took to Twitter after this tweet by Twitter user Charlily.

Apparently, people had some feelings about babies, y’all.

The hits just kept coming!

Hmm, I guess babies are kinda useless and lazy.

Poor lil’ babies.

So: babies – adorable or useless? You decide!

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