Posts That Are Aggravatingly and Technically Correct

There are truths and then there are technical truths.

Things that you can’t deny, though every fiber of your being wants to, because they’re just too pedantic to warrant acknowledgement.

And yet, you gotta give it up. Here are ten posts that are gloriously, technically true.

10. T H I N K

Being correct while missing the entire spirit of the post, attaboy.

Those all start with i

— OHH YEAHHH (@ohhyeahh_cr) January 16, 2021

9. Layer by layer

He’s out of line, but he’s right.

If you put #pizza on top of a pizza, you'd have 2 pizzas. But if you put a lasagne on top of a lasagne, you'd still have 1 #lasagna. – WhatsApp

— Amit Panchal (@AmitHPanchal) February 10, 2021

8. You gotta testify!

There’s a theatre in my hometown called The New Theatre.
It’s been around for more than 50 years.

Not to be "that guy" but aren't both Testaments old now?

— Just Some Guy | Black Lives Matter (@Home_Halfway) January 29, 2021

7. Numbers don’t lie

This is a great example of why statistics without context can be less than useless.

wake up, sheeple. pic.twitter.com/xvgjIhfGMw

— Leisure Suit Zaku (@ZinZaku) June 25, 2020

6. The pocket conspiracy

Has someone informed Jim Gaffigan of this?

YOU CANT BUY HOT POCKETS

YOU CAN ONLY BUY COLD POCKETS

YOU ARE EXPECTED TO SUPPLY THE HEAT YOURSELF.

DONT BELIEVE THE LIES

— Dame (@DameCagz) March 5, 2019

5. Bullet time

I’ve seen this posted so many times and like…where are you getting that number from?

3 bullets colliding in the battle of Gallipoli in 1915.

— Hamish (@hammmmmmyy) March 6, 2021

4. Summon the Grouch

What am I, chopped liver? Also I think I’m standing on some chopped liver.

pic.twitter.com/lhUPNPhPrw

— Steady (@Steady_WP) December 13, 2018

3. Rock and roll

That’s gonna be the name of my Rush cover band.

https://starrthepj.tumblr.com/post/146515179163/ewebie-perchu-razzliox-perchu-what

2. Support the cause

This is what you get for leaving your prompts so open ended.

https://rogha.tumblr.com/post/141435187887/laneybugawesomeness-its-technically-true

1. Absolutely brutal

The game has been changed forever.

https://young-calamitous.tumblr.com/post/77993976938

Those are some good, technically correct posts. But we’re done now. Or rather, we’ll be done in 41 words. Because I’m still typing, and there are a couple more lines to go.

What’s the best technically correct thing you’ve encountered lately? Was it said by you or by someone else?

Tell us in the comments.

Ok we’re actually done…now.

The post Posts That Are Aggravatingly and Technically Correct appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

More Hilarious Quotes From “The Office”

The American version of The Office was a cultural phenomenon. It ran for over a decade and in that time produced 188 episodes.

Not all episodes were the same length but doing a little back of the napkin math that’s somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 hours of comedy.

And so much of it was gold. Like these lines.

15. Live and let live

Weirdly inspiring for a Dwight thing.

Image: NBC Universal

14. Taco tuesday

We believe in you buddy, you’ll get ’em next time.

Image: NBC Universal

13. Blah blah blah

She knows what’s up.

Image: NBC Universal

12. The good ol days

This is actually oddly heartbreaking.

Image: NBC Universal

11. Try, try again

Lovin’ the hat look, Jim.

Image: NBC Universal

10. Raise me up

Ya done good, kid.

Image: NBC Universal

9. Worm guy

Creed is mysterious and powerful.

Image: NBC Universal

8. Culinary arts

It’s the perfect meal.

Image: NBC Universal

7. Party time

Well now there are zero, so.

Image: NBC Universal

6. Deep dive

Is that what it’s truly all about?

Image: NBC Universal

5. Meet Schrute

Yeah, that’s understandable.

Image: NBC Universal

4. Exactly right

This is one of my favorite lines.

Image: NBC Universal

3. Giving up

Hey, that’s something.

Image: NBC Universal

2. Need for feed

Don’t we all.

Image: NBC Universal

1. In a blanket?

A man of simple dreams.

Image: NBC Universal

Now if you’ll excuse me I’ve gotta go start my ninth rewatch.

What’s your favorite TV quote of all time? Or your favorite TV show of all time. Either works for us.

Tell us in the comments!

The post More Hilarious Quotes From “The Office” appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

Service Industry Folks Talk About the Fake Niceness of the Job

Every person who has ever worked in the service industry knows about “the voice.”

A friend of mine referred to it as her “smiley voice.” It’s the voice you put on to put everyone at ease, but it’s also a shield you put up to deal with people’s nonsense in a way that can leave the real you protected and disaffected.

If you’ve worked in the line you also know just how full of bad surprises customers can be – consistently finding new ways to make you wonder who raised them.

As usual, Tumblr tells the tales of woe better than most of us could.

1. Dead inside

You don’t realize how much you’re’ doing it until it comes out somewhere weird.

Source: punlich on Tumblr

2. Table for two

Maybe you should have ditched him and just sat down together to commiserate.

Source: 1980sbusinesswoman on Tumblr

3. Code switching

Whatever I do in this life, I hope I never earn the nickname “perky pants.”

Source: gritsinmisery on Tumblr

4. Beyond the pale

I took years of actual acting classes and I don’t think they would have prepared me for a performance like this.

Source: thesmilingfish on Tumblr

5. Emotional labor

AKA grin and bear it.

Source: krem-de-le-creme on Tumblr

6. The art of…

It ain’t the deal, I’ll tell ya that much for free.

Source: blasphemous-lies-and-deceit on Tumblr

7. You wouldn’t understand

Unless you’ve actually been there.

Source: belovedmuerto on Tumblr

The point is, be nice to customer service people. Underneath that smile, they’re dealing with a LOT.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Service Industry Folks Talk About the Fake Niceness of the Job appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

Memes That Will Make You Stop and Say “…What?”

We spend so much time scrolling through things that we rarely stop to think about what we’re looking at.

But sometimes, something comes along that’s so weird, or mind-bending, or just generally disruptive of your thought pattern, that the laws of physics themselves demand you stop and say “…wait, what?”

These are such posts.

14. The monster inside

This is what the face of addiction looks like.

Via: Cheezburger

13. Fly, you fools!

I think the words that played him in the book were great. They were really type cast.

Via: Cheezburger

12. Paragraph

I mean, you’re correct? But also…what?

Via: Cheezburger

11. All in order

Crazy how plate tectonics do dat.

Via: Cheezburger

10. A royal bounty

Hey, in early 2020 that would have fetched an Emperor’s ransom.

Via: Cheezburger

9. Housing crisis

“Have you priced out two room seashells these days? It’s crazy.”

Via: Cheezburger

8. Push me pull you

It’s all a matter of perspective.

Via: Cheezburger

7. These colors don’t run

They don’t do much of anything, really. They’re colors.

Via: Cheezburger

6. Hammer it home

You absolutely nailed it.

Via: Cheezburger

5. A balanced diet

Now that is just ice cold.

Via: Cheezburger

4. A masterpiece

They didn’t have the most creative naming conventions back then.

Via: Cheezburger

3. Plug me in

Ok just hear me out.

Via: Cheezburger

2. I am the night

And I would like a table for one, please.

Via: Cheezburger

1. That stings

I feel like I’m looking at a very expensive photo right now.

Via: Cheezburger

Well, that’s enough. My head is starting to spin.

What’s made you stop and take notice recently?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes That Will Make You Stop and Say “…What?” appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

Church Signs Sure To Bring You Closer to Heaven

There are roughly 380,000 churches in the U.S.

To put that into perspective for you, that’s about one church per 800 people. It’s 27 times the number of McDonald’s locations, and those things are everywhere.

So, how do you make your church stand out among the crowd? Easy. You come up with a funny sign and let the internet do the rest.

15. Hot and cold

It’s even hotter than the bad place out here.

Sign at local church from funny

14. East and west

I didn’t know such a level of affection was even possible.

This sign at my local church from funny

13. A clean start

It’s not in the original Bible but it’s in the extended cut.

This sign a local church put up. from funny

12. A balanced diet

Thank you.

This has to be the best church sign I’ve ever seen. from funny

11. No cheating

Ok, not gonna lie, it took me a second.

This church sign is going hard on the puns from funny

10. Buzz off

“Hey God, are we totally sure we need these things?”

My personal favorite church sign. And I agree. from funny

9. Let the rain fall

That’s enough blessings for now, thanks.

Sign at a church in Colorado from funny

8. Spot heroes

And this commandment is to be held above all else.

Sign at a church in Salem, MA from funny

7. Now you see me…

…now you don’t.

The Sign Outside a Church in my Town from funny

6. Closer to thee, Oh Lord

BRB, heading to Heaven.

Never thought I’d see one, but the church sign near my house made me laugh hard today! from funny

5. Cut to the chase

I shouldn’t have to sell this to you.

Church sign guy hates his job from funny

4. The golden ratio

It’s actually not a bad bit of advice.

This church sign in CC, TX is winning the sign game. from funny

3. Grace under fire

This is so cringey it loops back around to funny.

A church sign in my home town… from funny

2. Oh God

Well, that’s a spicy take for a church.

The sign in front of my friends church … is doing it right! from funny

1. Special perks

I’m in, you win, I’m done with heat and sin.

Church signs in Phoenix. from funny

Pretty good. Almost makes me wanna start going back to church.

What’s the funniest sign you’ve seen recently?

Tell us about it in the comments.

Thanks, fam!

The post Church Signs Sure To Bring You Closer to Heaven appeared first on UberFacts.

May 10, 2021

Tweets That Prove Autocorrect Can Drive You Insane

Autocorrect has been around for as long as smartphones.

It was initially developed by Ken Kocienda and his team at Apple for their operating system Project Purple, which would come to fruition as the first iPhone.

Said Kocienda, “It wasn’t easy to figure out how software might come to our rescue and how much our algorithms should be allowed to make suggestions or intervene to fix typing mistakes. I wrote the code for iPhone autocorrection based on an analysis of the words we type most commonly, the frequency of words relative to others, and the errors we’re most likely to make on a touchscreen keyboard.”

In other words, they knew typing with your thumbs was gonna end in a bunch of nonsense, and they tried to make a digital assistant to help you out.

But how well did it work? Let’s let Twitter decide.

15. All blown up

Ain’t it the truth.

My autocorrect just changed daughter to disaster and I’ve never been more paranoid that my smart phone could read my mind.

— Rhyming Mama (@sarabellab123) December 6, 2019

14. Captain Caps

Maybe it’s smarter than we give it credit for.

Did you know that:

Your phone won't auto correct if you are typing in all caps?

I guess it assumes you’re angry and does not want to get involved.

— Bow (@bowNarrow007) April 8, 2021

13. How the tables have turned

WOULD YOU JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

The other day I actually was trying to type “ducking” and autocorrect changed it to “fucking,” so I’m fairly sure that at this point my phone is just tucking with me.

— Arianna Bradford (@thearibradford) May 8, 2020

12. Contractions and contradictions

What is so hard to understand about this?

No autocorrect, for the 100th time, I mean “well” not “we’ll”

— Lilly (@Lilly) August 29, 2018

11. Not a morning person

You get me. Dawn is death.

Autocorrect just changed 'morning' to 'morbid' and now life makes perfect sense

— Pugnado (@LuvPug) July 22, 2017

10. Eating my feelings

Come on, leave me alone.

Autocorrect changed dadbod to sadbod and to be honest that really hurt my feelings.

— WTFDAD (@daddydoubts) August 11, 2019

9. In the mix

Well that just sounds WAY more fun.

Autocorrect changed "pandemic" to "panda mix" and I'm not even questioning it.

— Envy (@envydatropic) December 16, 2020

8. Carpe diem

It’s gonna be a great time.

Yes, autocorrect. By all means, let’s size the day.

— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) May 8, 2018

7. Good for thought

Robots don’t eat, that’s why they suck so bad.

I really don't understand auto correct sometimes. Why are you changing "food" to "good?" Is "food" not a word? We can't be friends.

— Lilly (@Lilly) August 11, 2017

6. Wine about it

Maybe it thought you meant “whine and die.”

I texted my wife "Tonight after the kids go down, let's wine and dine" except my phone changed it to "wine and die."

It's almost like auto-correct knows how hard it is to be a parent.

— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) June 5, 2019

5. Spell it out

Why must you let me suffer when you know full well what I need?

I'd need help with a word and autocorrect will be like no I wanna watch this son of a bitch spell exacerbate first

— Dapperilla (@theDapperilla) April 6, 2021

4. Word of the day

If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

me: i am so fucked
autocorrect: feel like u meant to say "ducked"

me: haoppy bjrghday
autocorrect: yeah that tracks

— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) December 19, 2017

3. Soon and very soon

The suspense is killing me.

Tried to sign an email "soph" but it autocorrected to "soon" so now my whole email sounds like a threat.

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 3, 2016

2. Dying slowly

Hey, it’s really the best we can hope for.

My phone changed “I’m doing well” to “I’m dying well” and now I’m worried autocorrect knows something about me I don’t.

— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 15, 2018

1. In your dreams

We all have ’em.

My phone just autocorrected "anxiety" to "nudity," as in "nudity dream," and sometimes I think they're just messing with us for personal entertainment

— Meena Harris (@meenaharris) March 5, 2021

I think those are pretty ducking great.

Is autocorrect more helpful or hurtful?

Give us your opinion in the comments.

The post Tweets That Prove Autocorrect Can Drive You Insane appeared first on UberFacts.