Category: Funny

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Funny Tweets About How Homework Is Absolute Hell

I dreaded homework when I was a kid. DREADED IT.

I’d put it off…and then put it off some more, until I reached the point of no return. It’s called procrastination, and it’s an art form, people.

These funny tweets about homework might bring back some painful memories from your childhood…

1. Sure it is!

2. Can’t say no to that.

3. Don’t ask me.

4. Emotional breakdown.

5. Here’s another example.

6. Literally anything else sounds better than that.

7. Oh, it’s gonna be like that?

8. Didn’t go as planned.

9. You did what you had to do.

10. Sure you are…

11. The important stuff.

12. Option B seems better.

13. That’s what friends are for.

14. Wouldn’t that be nice?

15. Leave it up to God.

Cheers to no more homework.

EVER!

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Here Are Some Funny Jokes About the Cheesecake Factory Just for You

If you’ve made the journey to The Cheesecake Factory before, you know they have a massive menu and the options are ENDLESS.

It’s truly an American icon, isn’t it? Tons of food, enormous portions, no sense of self-control. It’s great!

If you know, you know. Right?

1. You’ve been missing out.

2. You’re dead to me.

3. I’m in love with you.

4. It takes a while.

5. You’re right!

6. Seems like life and death.

7. Gonna be a while…

8. Are you having an affair?

9. Let’s get hitched!

10. Here come the waterworks.

11. Gotta power through it.

12. I need another two hours.

13. A new game in town.

14. Better than a new car.

15. You better believe it!

When’s the last time you ate at the almighty Cheesecake Factory?

Tell us about it! We want to get fired up before our next trip there!

The post Here Are Some Funny Jokes About the Cheesecake Factory Just for You appeared first on UberFacts.

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The 2020 New York City Taxi Drivers Calendar Is Here and It Is Wonderful

You’ve seen it before. You love it. And now the 2020 version is here.

I’m talking about the New York City Taxi Drivers Calendar.

These men and women spend long hours cruising around the Big Apple, but they need a break from the chaos once in a while. So they all took time to pose for this very entertaining calendar.

Let’s take a look!

1. Framed up.

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Sunday, December 1, 2019

2. Definitely NOT Travis Bickle.

Darek, heartthrobbin for the 2014 calendar.

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Monday, December 2, 2019

3. Coffee break.

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Saturday, November 30, 2019

4. Lookin’ sharp.

Quintuplets

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Tuesday, December 3, 2019

5. Time to cool off.

Does this photo even need a caption?

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Friday, November 29, 2019

6. You don’t see that every day.

You wish your hair looked this good.

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Tuesday, November 26, 2019

7. Special delivery.

The Harlem Globetrotters got nothin on Greg.

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Sunday, November 24, 2019

8. Need a lift?

Sometimes the best fix is to stop what you’re doing, take your shirt off and just pose for the camera.•Darek, Mr. May

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Wednesday, November 20, 2019

9. Let the wind blow.

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Monday, November 18, 2019

10. Do you have a request?

Mikhail outtake from the 2015 calendar

Posted by NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar on Sunday, November 10, 2019

You can order your 2020 calendar HERE. Great for a stocking stuffer!

The post The 2020 New York City Taxi Drivers Calendar Is Here and It Is Wonderful appeared first on UberFacts.

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“Please Hate These Things” Is an Instagram Account for the World’s Worst Designs

There’s a niche for just about everything on the Internet – even for people who want to come together to deride and hate on stuff together: it’s called Twitter.

JK!

Enter the IG account “Please Hate These Things,” a place for people looking for the what-not-to-do of the design world.

Kind of like an opposite-Joanna Gaines, I suppose.

Here are 15 of the worst of the worst, and y’all. They’re really, really bad.

15. Straight from the Playboy Mansion yard sale.

14. Are you going to be selling movie tickets?

13. It’s nice…if you want to die.

12. They forgot puke.

11. This just cannot be real.

10. What even is the point of this though?

9. Are they going to be high-diving off the top?

8. There’s just no way this was an accident.

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TGIWTF

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7. A house for Catwoman?

6. This takes saving space to the extreme.

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Time to watch my soaps!

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5. What? No, those won’t be in the way at all!

4. This is legitimately terrifying.

3. I don’t know where to look.

2. Is this the setting for a horror movie?

1. That would drive me slowly insane.

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Not quite.

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I’m torn between wishing I hadn’t seen any of that and being thrilled someone is out there compiling these pictures.

Did you love these? Did they drive you mad? I can’t decide!

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Millions of Americans Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

I’ve never thought about the fact that people over the age of 5 might think strawberry, chocolate, and regular milks come from different color cows, but, I mean, if no one ever told you differently…I suppose it could still make sense?

Aside from the fact that you’ve never actually seen a pink cow.

Then again, I live in the middle of the country, where cows appear regularly on the side of the road. So maybe I should give coastal city folk a break?

 

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NAH – this is ridiculous.

It turns out that A LOT of adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. How many, you ask?

Well, according to the Innovation Center for US Dairy’s website, around 16.4 million people across the country.

They know this because they commissioned a survey to see, which found that 7% of respondents think brown cows equal chocolate milk.

Yep, right out of the udder.

This despite the fact that their official statement (and common sense) says, “Chocolate milk – or any flavored milk for that matter – is white cow’s milk with added flavoring and sweeteners.”

And get this: 48% of respondents – which would mean over 154 million people nationally, if the survey statistics were extrapolated to the country as a whole – admitted they aren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from. As in, maybe it comes from a brown cow? Who knows??

A few more fun facts that emerged from the same survey:

37% of Americans admit to drinking milk straight out of the carton in the fridge (YIKES).

And 29% of Americans buy chocolate milk “for the kids,” but really they just want an excuse to drink it themselves.

As far as the latter, I hope by the time their kids move out they can own what they like and drink it all day like a m-fing adult (who may not know where it comes from). Because chocolate milk, brown cow or no, is delicious.

The post Millions of Americans Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows appeared first on UberFacts.

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An NFL Linebacker Wearing a Mic Adorably Searched for His Mom in the Stands, Over and Over Again

Even big, tough NFL players still love their moms and want to make them proud.

Jerome Baker Jr. is a second-year linebacker with the Miami Dolphins. He played college ball for Ohio State and was taken by the Dolphins in the third round of the 2018 NFL Draft.

Recently, Baker had a ticket reserved for his mother Theodora for a game between the Dolphins and the New York Jets in Miami. The linebacker was mic’d up for the game by NFL Films, which is great because they captured both video and audio of Baker trying to find his mom in the stands during the game. Baker spent a good deal of time both trying to locate Theodora in the crowd and telling his teammates about his quest to find her amidst the tens of thousands of spectators at the game.

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BIFC! If you know, you know! I’m home baaabby!

A post shared by Jerome Baker (@lastname_baker) on

Baker said he forgot that he was even wearing a microphone during the game against the Jets and that when he watched the whole video of his comments spliced together, he thought it was pretty funny.

“You don’t realize how many times I was saying it, but I was saying it so much. The video made it funnier. If you look at the video, I was clean at one point. Then later on, I had a little bit of dirt on me. Then later on, I was full of dirt. It was like the whole game, I was saying, ‘Where’s my mom? Where’s my mom?’ It was just a funny moment I didn’t realize, but I was definitely looking for my mom a lot.”

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I’m in control of my destiny, never in doubt..

A post shared by Jerome Baker (@lastname_baker) on

Theodora had flown down from her home in Cleveland to visit her son, but Baker wasn’t positive that his mom was going to show up to the game that day.

Watch this whole clip. It’s pretty entertaining and heartwarming.

And make sure to watch until the very end, so you can see what happens.

Now that is just nice, isn’t it?

The post An NFL Linebacker Wearing a Mic Adorably Searched for His Mom in the Stands, Over and Over Again appeared first on UberFacts.

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If You’ve Ever Tried to Get Into Yoga, These Tweets Will Make a Lot of Sense

Have you tried yoga before? I’m not an everyday yoga person by any stretch of the imagination, but I dabble, and I really do enjoy it.

But it sure is hard. Which is why these tweets are so funny.

Because a lot of people want to be into yoga and make it part of their lifestyle, but it takes work – and you know most folks aren’t going to put the time in. Still, we can dream, can’t we?

Enjoy these funny tweets. You might see a little bit of yourself in them…

1. Might want to start slow.

2. You did your best.

3. Does this look right?

4. Painfully accurate.

5. Ouch…

6. I can’t find one…

7. What is this for, again?

8. Just remain silent.

9. You blew it.

10. Play dead.

11. That was actually a stupid question.

12. I think it is.

13. When did this happen?!?!

14. I’m with you on this one.

15. Gonna be a loooooong week.

Are you a yoga master? Maybe just a beginner? Or perhaps you’ve only tried it once or twice?

Let us know in the comments.

The post If You’ve Ever Tried to Get Into Yoga, These Tweets Will Make a Lot of Sense appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets About Going on Road Trips

The road trip. It’s a rite of passage in this great country, whether you’re driving only a few hours or you’re driving across the entire continent.

I’ve been on some road trips in my day, some great, some…not so great (Kansas City to Dallas, 1998, I’m still not over it).

Anyway, here are some funny tweets about that memorable experience that is THE ROAD TRIP.

1. Gonna be a long day.

2. 100% in charge.

3. Things get weird.

4. Mine, too!

5. Did I bring the Twinkies?

6. Never works out, does it?

7. There’s no way they’re lying!

8. Perfectly describes them.

9. Sorry, no can do.

10. Try to go while you’re driving. That’s a skill.

11. Might be dangerous.

12. He’s got it all in his head.

13. You should get to your destination sometime next week.

14. Maybe on the roof?

15. Dad is always the last holdout.

Do you have some good road trip stories?

Tell us all about them in the comments.

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15 Funny Jokes About Being Single and Ready to Mingle

Being single has its ups and downs.

And it also depends on what kind of person you are. Let’s just put it this way: being in a relationship consists of the good, the bad, and the ugly.

That’s why being single is the best! Sometimes…

Let’s take a look at some folks who are livin’ the single life.

1. Who won?

2. Make your move.

3. It’s not going well.

4. That’s a fun game, isn’t it?

5. A sad state of affairs.

6. All kinds of trash.

7. That was your topic of conversation?

8. Back away. Slowly.

9. You’ll be back on there in no time.

10. Seems like a good move.

11. That’s pretty much the only way to make it work.

12. Two sides of the coin.

13. Get away from me.

14. Imagine that…

15. What does touch feel like?

Are you single? Dating? Married?

Give us an update in the comments and let’s see who’s living their best lives!

The post 15 Funny Jokes About Being Single and Ready to Mingle appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Funny Cat Snapchats Might Make You Smile

Here’s a question…

What should Snapchat really be used for?

Well, cat photos, of course!

Was there ever any doubt about that? I don’t think so.

Let’s take a peek at some of the best cat Snapchats out there.

1. Awwwww. Peepers.

2. Now you do.

3. Look into the darkness.

As I look into the abyss, the abyss looks into me. from aww

4. Pitching a tent.

Who could that be? from aww

5. Not a morning cat.

How you like that meow?!

6. Can’t get enough!

Faithful little desk buddy from aww

7. Dammit, Otis!

Poor baby!!

8. Wait a second…

This is my cat…. This is not my house. from cats

9. You need a decoy.

The decoy keyboard is working from aww

10. Now you know why.

My cat messed up a single part of my window shades.. never realized why until just now. from funny

11. That’s pretty cute.

I adopted Simba to hunt around the house. Instead, he became a friend with this mouse. from aww

12. Never seen this before…

I would explain if I could… from aww

13. A very unique kitty.

All 4 of my cats paws have unique black/pink combinations from mildlyinteresting

14. He is not happy.

This cat doesn’t even know you and it’s had enough of your shit.

15. Mastermind criminal cat.

Do you have any funny snaps of your kitty cats?

Show them to us in the comments!

The post These Funny Cat Snapchats Might Make You Smile appeared first on UberFacts.