These Tweets Might Just Turn Your Frown Upside down

We all need a little help now and then, and even though I am in no way encouraging you to smile if you don’t feel like it or telling you that you owe one single person a smile (you don’t), if YOU feel like you could use a laugh, well….here you go.

I’m just going to set these 13 tweets full of wholesome goodness right here and let you enjoy at your will.

13. Let me think. No.

12. This is your daily PSA about drinking too much and why it’s bad but also can be amusing.

11. Ladies, you know what he really wants.

10. Nothing to see here but AWWWW.

9. I don’t know about you, but I can relate to this.

8. When you’re just too good at making breakup playlists.

7. A George Costanza for the modern age. #doaleavebehind

6. “Dork a** losers” is officially my go-to now.

5. He identifies with Parker’s grandpa so much.

4. I think about this when I hand out papers but I still do it because THEY STICK OKAY.

3. I think this is Dakota’s official statement.

2. Pardon me I may have been mistaken.

1. It’s the decimal points that make the tweet.

Now that’s what I’m talking about – A+, internet!

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These Jokes Would Have Made Absolutely No Sense at the Beginning of the 2010s

We’ve come a long way in the past ten years. It’s hard to keep up with all the technology flying at us. Heck, I’m still trying to figure out the appeal of Twitter.

So, in the spirit of laughing at our ignorant past selves, scroll through these 10 jokes that would have made no sense at all in 2009.

1. We are getting into cars with strangers and asking for rides. In the olden days, this was called hitchhiking and our parents would ground us for doing it.

2. Girls roll out of bed in sweatshirts, pull on short shorts and put their hair in a scrunchie to go out for the day. In the olden days, this is how girls got ready for bed.

3. We are all wearing cool in-ear speakers. In the olden days, we attached entire stereos to our clothing and got tangled up in the wires.

Photo Credit: Memes Monkey

4. Alexa takes care of us. In the olden days, we had to do our own things.

5. “Millennials have ruined the society we’ve worked so hard to build.” In the olden days: “Millennial babies are so cute. They’re our future.”

6. We cannot agree on anything now. ANYTHING. In the olden days, WE WERE PERFECT.

7. We get ready for the day on social media. In the olden days, we got ready for the day in the bathroom. With the door closed.

8. Our watches are computers. In the olden days, our watches told us what time it was.

9. We don’t need to see each other to have a relationship. In the olden days, we went on dates. Together.

10. We spend a la-oht of money on our phones. In the olden days, we counted our money.

Do you feel old now? Or, are you wondering how we crawled out of our mud holes into these modern times? Discuss.

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Man Steals Electric Shopping Cart from Walmart and Drives It from Bar to Bar

Many of us have done some pretty stupid things when we’ve had too much to drink, but, if we’re lucky, we don’t get caught – and it definitely doesn’t become national news.

That’s not what happened to this guy.

Also, side note: if Bill Murray can drive around the streets of Stockholm in a golf cart, why can’t this guy have a little fun?

For the record, we don’t condone drinking and driving any kind of vehicle…but this is still kind of a hilarious story.

A man in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana, stole an electric shopping cart from a Walmart and proceeded to drive it from bar to bar. The man, Brice Kendell Williams, 32, said he did it because he didn’t want to get a DUI, though he still ended up being charged with a felony for “Unauthorized use of a moveable.”

Someone at a bar in Houma, Louisiana, reported to police that a man had arrived there on a motorized shopping cart after midnight. Police arrived at the bar and found the cart parked between cars in the parking lot. After he was arrested, Kendell told police that he had been at another bar earlier when he decided to steal the cart so he (hopefully) wouldn’t get a DUI.

Captian America

I mean, why would a motorized cart from Walmart draw any attention if someone drove it up and parked it at a bar, right?

Kendell’s bond was set at $2,500.

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A Guy Pranked San Francisco by Placing Airpod Stickers All over Town

AirPods aren’t cheap and everybody wants a pair of them. Also, if you do own a pair, you know by now that you can lose them at any moment. It’s kind of like owning a pair of earrings or a wedding ring that you regularly take off and put somewhere random.

Some funny fellow took advantage of the AirPods phenomenon and decided to pull a prank…on the entire city of San Francisco. A guy named Pablo Rochat printed up life-sized AirPod stickers and stuck them on the ground all over San Francisco.

They look very realistic, so you know that people who saw these on the ground either thought to themselves, “Shit, I just dropped an AirPod”, or “Awesome, someone else dropped their AirPod and now it’s MINE.”

Rochat said, “I often see people drop their AirPods, so I thought it would be funny to make it look like people are dropping their AirPods all over the city and see if people would try to pick them up.”

Rochat added, “That’s the best part. I love putting AirPod stickers on the ground and standing back to see people try to pick them up. Some people are amused by it, but a few have been angry that they were pranked. Joke’s on them!”

Here’s the best part: if you want to try this out in your hometown, Rochat tweeted out the free template for the AirPod stickers so we can all get in on the action. I’m know what I’m gonna do this weekend…I hope I don’t get beat up…again.

LOLzzzzzzzzz.

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This Dad Bought a Christmas Tree and Trolled His Wife with Photoshopped Pics

This turned out to be quite a combination: a dad left on his own to shop without his wife and a dad who knew how to use Photoshop to mess with that wife.

The dad I’m talking about went to buy a Christmas tree without his wife because she was too busy and so he decided to mess with her a little bit using Photoshop to convince her that he bought an enormous tree.

Take a look at the whole conversation, which was posted on Imgur.

Part One

Photo Credit: Imgur

Part Two

Photo Credit: Imgur

Part Three

Photo Credit: Imgur

Part Four

Photo Credit: Imgur

Part Five

Photo Credit: Imgur

Part Six

Photo Credit: Imgur

LOL. Yeah, he got her pretty good! This guy gets an A+ for expert trolling. Well done sir!

What did you think? Let us know in the comments!

Oh… and happy holidays! Enjoy your time with your family…even if they do drive you crazy sometimes.

The post This Dad Bought a Christmas Tree and Trolled His Wife with Photoshopped Pics appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share the Way They Got Revenge on Those Who Wronged Them

As the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold.

And these folks behind these stories certainly know that to be true…because they got revenge on people who messed with them in major ways.

Check out these twisted tales from people on AskReddit.

Do you have a killer revenge story of your own? Share it in the comments with us.

1. Let’s start with a long story.

“When I was 15 years old, my parents divorced. We lived on a farm and I bucked bails and pulled fence year-around to pay for motorcycle gas. I was also about 6’4″, 300lbs at the time and in varsity football.

I wasn’t taking the divorce so well, so I moved in with my mom, who had just got her own place. I was in my bedroom one day and heard a commotion, so I went to the kitchen to look. Right as I turned the corner, I saw her new boyfriend (we’ll call him jim, because that was his name) backhand my mom, knocking her to the floor. She scurried to her feet in disbelief, grabbed her keys and ran out of the house. Moments later, I heard her lay rubber in the driveway..

Seeing my mother flee from this man with such panic and fear in her eyes filled me with rage. I’ve been mad before, but not like this. I wasn’t mad, I was full of pure hatred and rage. My life sucked already. My parents were going though a very very messy divorce, I was a misfit in school, my younger brother and sister were both suffering as well, so all-in-all, I was already furious about everything up until this very second.

I confronted jim, who stood 5’5” and maybe 150lbs max, about hitting my mother, trying to the best of my ability to hold back the rage. He made the worst mistake possible. Jim got physical with me. He raised his hand up like he was going to backhand me and that’s when I snapped.

I don’t remember how his swing landed. I’m not sure if he was able to land a blow or not, everything was just a blur. The next thing I could really remember was sitting on his chest punching his face so hard, the back of his head was bouncing off the linoleum. I hit him until he was unconscious and bleeding from both every hole in his face.

I stood up and went to the bathroom to clean myself. When I got back to the kitchen, he was still unconscious on the kitchen floor. The pool of blood around his head was still growing. At this point, I thought I had killed him. I dragged him out of the house by his feet to the back of his hilariously jacked-up ford pickup. I dropped the tail-gate and threw him into the bed of his truck. I threw his coat, keys and anything else I could find of his in the house in the bed with him and went back into the house.

About an hour and a half later, I heard his truck start-up and drive off. When my mom came home, she did not even ask about my hands or the half-cleaned bloody drag marks on the front patio, concrete walkway and the grass. I’m sure she knew exactly what had happened. I’m half convinced that she anticipated my reaction and that may be why she left me at the house with jim after he hit her.. I don’t know..

I saw jim in a gas station several years later and his face still showed obvious signs of trauma. Bags under his eyes, twisted nose, missing teeth up front, etc. And yes, I feel terrible, still. ?

2. Wow!

“My then-high-school-girlfriend was a total bitch, and wanted me to abandon all of my friends, would always try to bring me down, etc.

When I got fed up, I broke up with her on picture day. She took them, but her mascara was everywhere. Two days later, I told her that I was sorry, blahblah, and I wanted to get back together. She liked having someone to walk on, so of course she said yes. I then broke up with her again on retake day.”

3. That’s what friends are for.

“I had a friend in high school who became an asshole during our senior year. There were a bunch of little things that added up to our friendship falling apart, but at the worst of it I pooped on his car one night.

Real simple, I just crawled up on the hood of his car and took a shit on his windshield. I just knew that he’d walk outside the next day and think, “what the fuck is this?””

4. Cheated on.

“In 2009 I deployed for a 6 month tour to the Helmend Province in Afghanistan. Running at least weekly missions from Leatherneck to Now Zad. We were the only unit that would run that route in the entire AO, it was that bad.

A month into the deployment, I was just getting 6 months into my first “real” relationship. It was long distance, as I was stationed in NC and she lived back home in NY. We were planning on getting married, but my Staff Sergeant gave me a little speech and I decided that it was best to wait until after the deployment.

She was already cheating on me 4 months into the relationship. I took it hard. And that’s all I thought about for 6 months while I waited to get back home. I had a bunch of her stuff, and she had some of mine. I never got any of my stuff back, but she had given me this tiny little dancer trinket to wear on my dog tags. Her mother had given it to her before she ran off, so it had some sentimental value to her. ‘

Oh, and 5 months into my deployment, her new Level 3 sex-offender boyfriend who she left me for goes back to prison for probation violation. I get a message over Facebook that she “Just found out she’s six months pregnant, and it’s mine.” There’s no way you “just find out you’re 6 months pregnant” when you weigh 110 pounds soaking wet. It was a sham to get me back, there was no pregnancy.

6 months later, I arrive back home. I go into the Subway where she works, and lo-and-behold she’s working. I walk in, and she goes “Welcome to Su…” and cuts off mid-sentence as she sees me, with a look of absolute horror on her face. I walk in, walk up to the counter, look her dead in the eyes, set the dancer trinket on the counter, shake my head, and turn around and walk out. I could hear her start crying before I got to the door.

I’m much more successful out of the military. I have a great job, an amazing girlfriend, and a sweet townhome. I’m about to get a dog here soon. I’ve never blocked her on Facebook, I just don’t see her updates in my news feed. She’ll poke me every once and a while, but I never poke back. It’s nice to know that she can watch me be successful without her, and I know her life is in shambles. About once a year she tries to message me and ask me how I’m doing, but it usually ends with her going on some depressing rant about how she fucked up and wishes she never cheated on me and left me.”

5. No regrets.

“I had a loud ass apartment neighbor that was always causing problems. My wife got fed up one night when him and his drunk friends were wrestling in the parking lot while making a ton of noise and called the cops.

This was an angry drunk Mexican that decided to retaliate for the cops getting called by breaking my antenna off my car as soon as the cops leave.

I fumed about the antenna for a week or so when the dick came back home drunk again at 6 AM again waking me up as he thundered up the stairs. It wasn’t till a couple hours later we noticed he left his keys in the door of his apartment. I snuck up the stairs and took his keys right out of the lock and chucked them in a ditch a block away.

The best part was hearing him storm around tearing his place up looking for them. You could hear the prick moving furniture and shit. His truck had two separate alarms and after he lost his remotes he had to replace both of them. I regret nothing.”

6. You’re in trouble.

“My first high school bf was not very good with grades so he asked me to make him a fake report so he could show his parents and not get into trouble. He also cheated on me with my best friend and dumped me. He then promised to get back with me if I forged the report for him.

I agreed up until the day when we were meant to get our reports for school. I told him I didnt do it. He got bashed by his dad when he got home for the string of D’s and F’s.”

7. You’re gonna get sued.

“I went to school with someone who was a real dick. He bullied me a substantial amount and eventually I got fed up with it.

One day when we were in the library, I saw him log on. As he went to access his emails, I snuck a look at the keyboard and noticed his password . Lo and behold, the idiot used his name and a number and that was it.

Queue creeper time. When I went home I had a quick look through his emails. I noticed a rather interesting discussion between himself and a friend of his. To cut a long story short, his mother had convinced centrelink (unemployment benefits in Australia, maybe elsewhere, I don’t know) that he had a learning disability in order to claim more money.

I forward this email archive along with his password to Centrelink. They probably couldn’t directly access his email account due to redtape, however, I think someone must have done it off the books. A few weeks later at school I hear that ‘Bob’s’ family was getting taken to court and being forced to pay back all the excess money that was claimed under false circumstances.

I don’t know how it ended up as I graduated before the case was settled but I know they had to pay back several thousand dollars at the least.”

8. Win in the end.

“About 4 years ago, I found out my husband of ten years was fucking around with a girl he went to high school with. (It should be noted that they never dated because, according to him, she was too much of a whore not to fuck more than one dude at a time) At this time, I was a full time student and he was financially supporting us and our toddler. When I found out, I flipped shit, understandably.

He called me a psycho and decided he wanted to leave me for her. So I quit school for a year, worked two jobs, paid for the divorce and supported our child by myself. I ended up supporting myself thru school, graduating with honors, landing my dream job and generally kicking ass on my own. He, on the other hand, has been cheated on several times, lives in a shitty trailer park with his whore girlfriend and generally is a loser. Technically not fucked up revenge, just very very sweet.”

9. Hahahaha.

“I live in a very small town so locking your car doors is not very common. One day my friend played a prank by putting dog shit under my car seat on a hot summer day so my car smelled terrible for a week.

At this time I was dating his sister and she would send me nude pics, one day I showed him a pic of just her boobs and he got excited and asked me to send it to him. I figured he was going to wack off to it so I sent it to him and then told him a few weeks later who it was…6years later I’m engaged to his sister and we still have never talked about it.”

10. Break a leg.

“When I was seven, the Monica Lewinsky scandal happened, and my name happens to be Monica. You can imagine what a bunch of immature kids liked to call me. One girl who was several years older than me, whom I never talked to before, kept picking on me and calling me Monica Lewinsky. I asked her to stop, and she didn’t. Keep in mind that this girl was pretty big compared to me.

One day, she was playing on this jungle gym in the shape of a fire engine and was trying to balance, so I took advantage of her vulnerability and started tickling her. When I noticed she didn’t like being tickled and was losing her balance, I continued to tickle, which was probably my innocent way of being violent. The girl eventually lost her balance, fell down, and broke her leg. When I saw her later on in a cast with crutches, she looked at me with this apologetic expression and never called me Monica Lewinsky again. She was afraid of me, a little seven-year-old girl.”

11. Bad parents.

“I have one I’m about to do in a couple days. See my parents suck, I’ve been taking care of them for a while, while also going to school and what not, and still they are trying to cheat me, pawn my things, etc. But I’ve become fed up with them. I’m out of town at the moment, but when I get back, the next time they ask me to walk two miles to get them a pack of cigarettes, I will walk outside, around the house, have a friend with a van come.

Bring my pre packed shit out of the basement entrance, leave and stay at my friends house for a few days until the day my train ticket is planned for, then move 2000 miles across the country and live with another friend who just got me a job. Rendering them worthless pillheads waiting for a pack of pal mal menthol 100’s for the rest of their sad lives.”

12. Oh, Vanessa…

“My sister used to beat me up, steal my birthday money, call me a fag in front of friends and girls i liked. when mom went shopping for Xmas my sister would tell her to buy me these horrible clothes to make me look the part. Pretty much was just a total bitch to me. So everytime i had to pee in the shower id pee in her shampoo and body wash all over her razor, body sponge thing , everything. Fuck you Vanessa.”

13. Life blew up.

“I too dated a cheating girl. But I’ll start by saying I’m stupid and took her back after the first time. The first time she cheated it was with her “ex”boyfriend. I knew it was happening so I got her phone and got his number and I called him. He, naturally, didn’t know anything about it and I 100% believe him because she is a scum liar. So we set it up for her to meet him in a park to which I’d be there too. Unfortunately, the ex couldn’t follow through with it and and the plans foiled but her double life still blew up in her face.

But the better one was I knew she was cheating on me with this dude named Tim. So one afternoon I had her come over to my house. She said she had dinner plans and wouldn’t be around that night. So I wanted to fuck her one last time so I had her bent over my bed and was fucking her doggy style. I took a sharpie marker that I had laying on my night stand and, while fucking her, wrote “Hi Tim” on her ass. Again, he knew nothing about me and, again, her life blew up in her face.”

Yikes! Those were some stone cold revenge stories, right? People can be brutal AF sometimes…

Alright, it’s comment time! Let us know your faves!

The post People Share the Way They Got Revenge on Those Who Wronged Them appeared first on UberFacts.

7 Funny, Useful Products That Will Make Very Memorable White Elephant Gifts

(Quick note: This is a sponsored post. That means somebody paid us to write it. They didn’t tell us what to write or how to write it, and we’re always dedicated to providing accurate, quality information. Click here to learn more about how we make money and select our advertising partners.)

We’ve all been there. You’ve been invited to a White Elephant gift exchange… and you just don’t have any clue what to get. And then 99 times out of 100 you’ll go shopping at the VERY last minute, stress yourself out and, let’s be honest, get something that nobody wants.

Well we’re here to save your lazy ass once again with 7 surefire gifts that will be the stars of any White Elephant gift exchange. Seriously, people will be fighting over these.

Let’s get to it!

#1. Sipski Wine Holder

Kick back and relax at the end of a long day by taking your wine in the tub or the shower with this handy wine glass holder that doesn’t require ANY suction cups, adhesives or wall mounts!

Plus, it won’t leave any residue behind, which is actually a huge nuisance if you’ve ever used other products.

The Sudski features patented silicone technology that grips securely to glossy surfaces like shiny tiles, marble and much more.

Pick one up at DrinkInTheShower.com.

#2. Face Planter

Have you ever looked at a Chia Pet and thought, “I wish I had a plant with a face, but not THAT plant and not THAT face.” Yeah you have!

Introducing Face Plant. It’s a planter… with a face on it! That you can customize!

And it’s a great place to set your glasses or sunglasses.

Click here to pick one up.

#3. Sudski Shower Beer Holder

What costs just $15 and can hold you shower beer securely so there’s no spillage?

Oh, you’re gonna thank us for this one!

What you’re looking at is the Sudski Shower Beer Holder, a fun new way to enjoy those delish drinks while you’re scrubbing away that downtown dirt.

Yes, as long as it’s canned, the Sudski can hold them all.

AND… it comes in a variety of colors including Camo and Americana!

You can buy it online here.

#4. Cat Bods

Have a kitty? Know somebody with a naughty pussy in their lives? Then we’ve got the gift for you!

Basically, this interactive cardboard box gives your cat 4 different cuts outs to stick their dumb head through so you can take photos and make fun of them on social media!

So whether you love cats or absolutely hate them, this one is for you!

Click here to grab yours.

#5. Prank Packs

Want to make somebody think they’re getting something completely ridiculous, but still give them what they want? Yeah, we’ve got a Prank Pack for that.

Just look at this guy! He thinks he’s getting a fire starting kit.

Nope! Just a pair of (probably) shitty gloves!

OMG, this big dummy just got pranked hard and he LOVES IT!

There are over 40 of these to choose from over on the Prank-O site, so click here to grab one now!

#6. When Nature Calls 2020 Calendar

This one is pretty simple. Beautiful landscapes with a lone dog taking a massive, squishy dump in them.

Absolutely fucking majestic!

Yeah, these are hilarious.

Pick one up here.

#7. Prank Postcards

The twisted minds that thought up Awkward Family Photos is behind this one and, well, I’ll let the postcards speak for themselves…

Also, Meet Elaine! And get your car serviced.

But not really. Because it’s a JOKE!

They’re sure to confuse your relatives like your judgey AF Aunt Karen here. But everybody else will laugh. Because Karen fucking sucks.

Pick up a pack of 35 prank postcards here.

Alright, are you ready for all those White Elephant parties now? Yeah you are!

Which one of these would you grab? Let us know in the comments!

The post 7 Funny, Useful Products That Will Make Very Memorable White Elephant Gifts appeared first on UberFacts.

These Newspaper Headlines Really Missed the Mark

Nobody’s perfect. Everyone is bound to make mistakes here and there, even newspaper editors, but these 17 headlines are so bad it makes me wonder whether they were paying attention at all.

If they were, their bosses might want to think about hiring someone who knows what they’re doing because these are…bad.

Just saying.

17. Is it, though?

Photo Credit: deMilked

16. Short and sweet.

Photo Credit: deMilked

15. Ummmmm that’s not the right layout.

Photo Credit: deMilked

14. It almost works as internet speak?

Photo Credit: deMilked

13. Talk about insensitive.

Photo Credit: deMilked

12. As long as the hunters are decent, anyway.

Photo Credit: deMilked

11. Those darn babies.

Photo Credit: deMilked

10. You’ve cracked the case!

Photo Credit: deMilked

9. I’m going to guess this is a Mississippi newspaper.

Photo Credit: deMilked

8. I’m sure he does, but is that really newsworthy?

Photo Credit: deMilked

7. You’re sure it’s not the wind?

Photo Credit: deMilked

6. Maybe Thor tossed it down?

Photo Credit: deMilked

5. That page layout needs some work.

Photo Credit: deMilked

4. I don’t know…spring?

Photo Credit: deMilked

3. But not by singing?

Photo Credit: deMilked

2. It was a delicious meal.

Photo Credit: deMilked

1. That explains quite a bit, actually.

Photo Credit: deMilked

I can’t cringe hard enough. Yikes!

The post These Newspaper Headlines Really Missed the Mark appeared first on UberFacts.

15 of the Funniest Tweets from the Past 10 Years

I really enjoy a good tweet. There’s just nothing quite like it, right?

Speaking of good tweets, here are some of the best that the 2010s had to offer.

So let’s start laughing together!

1. No moral to this story.

2. No thanks, I’m good.

3. Very well-read.

4. Agreed!

5. I’m happy for you!

6. That’s a lie.

7. Take your time.

8. Uh oh…

9. We’re losing, by the way.

10. Keep it down.

11. Hahahaha. This is good.

12. It’s perfect for that.

13. That part with the rye is pretty intense.

14. Yeah, Carol…

15. This is humiliating.

What hilarious tweets do you think we missed from the past ten years!

Share your favorites with us in the comments!

The post 15 of the Funniest Tweets from the Past 10 Years appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Funny Jokes About Being an Only Child

I was lucky enough to grow up in a crazy house filled with a bunch of kids, so I kind of feel sorry for only children. Who do you play with? Who torments you? How do you escape from the watchful eye of your parents?

But I assume there are probably some advantages as well: lots of presents, lots of attention, doting parents…

I don’t know, it’s a give-and-take, I guess.

Enjoy these tweets about being an only child, whether you are one or you know one.

1. That’s a good way of looking at it.

2. You were definitely bored.

3. Well, that’s nice.

4. Has-No-Bro.

5. Over it!

6. Half birthday?

7. Just don’t bother.

8. Sounds like a hoot.

9. That hurts a lot.

10. Which one do you think is true?

11. No fun at all.

12. The only child on the planet.

13. A gift for you.

14. Her only choice.

15. Should’ve kicked it against a wall.

Are you an only child?

If so, tell us about it in the comments. And, make sure to tell us a funny anecdote about growing up!

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