Hilarious Memes to Tickle the Ol’ Funny Bone

I’m ready to have a bunch of good laughs.

I’ve needed my funny bone tickled for quite a while and NOW IS THE TIME, PEOPLE.

We’ve waited too darn long and we need our hilarious memes!

No more delaying, no more putting it off!

Are you ready to get your funny bone tickled?

I think we all know the answer to that question. Let’s get it on!

1. That’s a serious power move.

I’m gonna try this out soon…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. That doesn’t look good.

What’s this guy gonna do…?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. Oh, that’s right…

My back hurts just looking at it.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. I got some juicy stories for you!

Are you ready for this?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. This is pretty amazing.

Side note: I’m OBSESSED with casseroles.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

6. Let’s give this a shot.

A little harder than anticipated.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

7. Hey, that’s better.

Oh, what a relief it is!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. Not a big fan.

That’s pretty harsh, Mom.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. Don’t care anymore.

You get over that hump and it’s all downhill.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

10. Breakin’ free!

Just do what you gotta do!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. You’re going to hurt the children!

Not a good idea.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

12. This is terrifying.

You better come ready to battle.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

Funny bone = tickled.

Ahhh, I needed that. …

Now we want to hear from you!

Have you seen anything really hilarious on social media lately that you’d like to share with the world?

If so, please share it with us in the comments!

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Hilarious Memes to Tickle the Ol’ Funny Bone appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Posts That’ll Give You a Spark of Energy

Are you ready to get hit with a lightning bolt in the form of hilarious memes?

I need this!

And I think you probably do, too.

I need it for the laughter aspect but also for the ENERGY.

Funny memes give me life, what can I say?

Do you want to feel the spark?

Well, let’s go and do this TOGETHER!

1. He looks very happy about this development.

A great day for Transformers.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

2. Hahahahaha. Yes!

That is rather odd…

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

3. Can’t you see that I’m very busy?

Working two phones at once.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

4. Big time baller.

High roller in the house!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

5. Now I’m scared…

Did you know about this?

6. This is very accurate.

If you’ve heard ska, you know this is TRUTH.

7. Have a look for yourself.

I told you!

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

8. Does anybody knock anymore?!?!

Not cool at all.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

9. A way with words…

Not a GOOD way, but still…

10. Time to step in.

Can I talk to your child for a minute?

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

11. Wait a second, back up…

That was an accident? Well, now this is very awkward.

Photo Credit: Cheezburger

ZAP! Now that was a big spark of energy that hit me right in my bones!

Okay, now we want to hear from you.

Have you seen anything especially hilarious on social media lately?

A meme? A tweet? A joke?

If so, please share it with us in the comments!

Thanks!

The post Hilarious Posts That’ll Give You a Spark of Energy appeared first on UberFacts.

Hilarious Posts About What a Disaster 2020 Has Been

Let’s cut the crap: this year has really sucked so far.

It wouldn’t even be worth it to attempt to go down the very long list of terrible things that have happened in the first half of 2020, so we won’t bother.

BUT, the good news is that in the face of all of this upheaval, we can still find some time to laugh at what a shitty year it’s been.

If you can’t laugh sometimes, you’re just gonna break down and cry, right?

So let’s laugh at some funny memes and tweets about 2020!

Keep your head up and keep hanging tough!

1. This is how much.

That’s a looooooooooong smoke.

Photo Credit: someecards

2. Uh oh…that doesn’t sound good.

She finally snapped.

Photo Credit: someecards

3. Yes, please!

And keep the drinks coming!

Photo Credit: someecards

4. Didn’t live up to expectations.

Not even close…

Photo Credit: someecards

5. I’ll walk from here.

Totally over it…

Photo Credit: someecards

6. The worst reviewed year of all time.

Nothing good to report about it.

Photo Credit: someecards

7. This is very accurate.

Drink up!

8. They might as well.

That will give people a little happiness, right?

9. Leave it right there.

And slowly back away.

10. Hahahaha. Oh, boy.

That just looks weird.

11. Not good at all.

Dammit! It happened again!

12. Let’s hope not…

Please pray for a better 2021…

Photo Credit: someecards

How are you holding up, friend?

Has 2020 really kicked you in the ass so far?

In the comments, sound off about how you’re dealing with this shitshow of a year.

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Hilarious Posts About What a Disaster 2020 Has Been appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Fans They’ve Seen Do Totally Crazy Things

Some industries attract rabid fans that border on absolutely insane.

Sports teams, certain bands and singers, and especially hobbies.

And sometimes fans will do almost ANYTHING to pledge their allegiance to a person, a group, or a specific thing.

Hey, people are kind of insane.

I’ve been a lifelong Chicago Blackhawks game and I’ve barely missed watching a game in the past 25 years, but even I show a little restraint…most of the time.

AskReddit users shared their stories.

1. High in the sky.

“Skydivers living in their cars. I’ve known multiple skydivers who choose to live out of their cars to be at the drop zone 24/7. These are not people who couldn’t afford an apartment or couldn’t commute.

But they work at the DZ and choose to live in their cars so they are there literally 100% of the time to either be jumping for $ or spending those $s jumping.

I get it. It’s a great sport, but shit.”

2. Disney fanatics.

“I’m going to include this one since I haven’t seen it with Disneyland.

Some people are so rabid for the park that they’ve named and keep track of the stray cats on the property. I’ve seen a few employees/cast members yelled at because they couldn’t tell them the exact location of their favorite cat.”

3. Weirdos.

“In college, I worked on a photo essay about a haunted house that took its job very seriously – actors wore no masks (only special effects make-up, and it was good), had to create full characters and yelling or saying “boo” was verboten.

You had to create a full character and dialogue. It was a super scary house – the highest-level actors who spooked people out front even carried real weapons. I acted there one night, wearing several layers of latex on my face and breaking blood capsules in my mouth for added effect, and it was one of the most fun nights of my life.

The house attracted a lot of D&D/gaming/nerd types, and some of these people took this INCREDIBLY SERIOUSLY. Many of them never showered for the duration of the season – about two months, if not longer – so that you smelled them long before you heard or saw them in the house. It really did add to the scare factor.

But one woman, who had a spot in a wooded trail between buildings, took it to the next level. All day during season, she would binge eat – she was tiny, but she would eat these massive meals all day. Then, when hiding in the bushes, she’d stuff blood capsules into her mouth to make herself throw up massive, bloody puddles. It was … horrifying.”

4. These are MY animals.

“Worked in public education at a zoo.

Every zoo gets some crazies who think if the animals as their pets. One guest, o will call her Now, loved our great apes and jaguars. When our much loved bonobo died, all the staff were sad. He was old and had passed of heart failure.

And then I realized that N was probably coming in that day as I hadn’t seen her the day before. I grabbed my boss, and the next hour was radio calls around the zoo determining who had to be the one to tell N. I threatened to quit if it fell on me.

It was determined the primate supervisor had to tell N as the supervisor had been the one to discover the death that morning. When N arrived at the main entrance, the supervisor was called, and several security people stationed themselves bear the bonobo exhibit. When N got the news, she cried a bit and went home to mourn. We were relieved.

And then N showed up the next day screaming at staff that we didn’t even attempt CPR on a bonobo who’s end we had been expecting for months. Then she started grabbing guests and telling them how terrible the zoo staff were.

Police were called. Within a couple of weeks there was a restraining order in place and N is still not allowed on the property more than a decade later.

I wish that was the only restraining order against a guest in my time there, but it sadly was not.”

5. Groupies.

“Used to be a professional musician.

Did a tour with a band called Bring Me The Horizon. Girls would line up outside of their bus every single night to catch a glimpse of their singer, Oli. One night, some girl who was maaaybe 14, saw me play (in a separate band entirely), and approached me.

This wasn’t uncommon, but the first thing she asked was, “Have you ever shaken Oli’s hand???” I said that I had. She then asked if she could hold/kiss my hand. It was insane.

For the record, I vehemently declined her request.”

6. Coaster enthusiast.

“I used to work at a coaster called Dragon Challenge (Formerly Dueling Dragons) at Universal Orlando. We had a coaster enthusiast known as Raptor Jo (named after the Raptor coaster) who would visit often and give us candy, cakes, and other gifts.

She was usually nice, but she was a bit of a nut and has tattoos of at least a dozen coasters all over her. When Dragons was torn down to make room for a new Harry Potter coaster, Raptor Jo was pissed, decided to boycott Universal, changed her Dragons tattoo to add a gravestone, and added a full window decal to the back of her car that says “RIP my babies 1999-2017″.

She still comments on a lot of team members posts on social media.”

7. They’re pretty intense.

“Historical re-enactors are in an arms race over who can make themselves the most miserable in a weekend because it makes the hobby “authentic.”

I think the most extreme situation I heard of was Civil War re-enactors intentionally soiling their uniforms and rubbing spoiled meat on themselves so when they got “shot” they would smell like rotting corpses.”

8. Here’s an idea.

“Used to work at a Subway when Jared was at the height of his pitch man fame and we had an overweight woman who came there breakfast, lunch and dinner every day without fail.

She would pitch us on the idea of a “Bride of Jared” commercial that parodied “Bride of Frankenstein”, like we sandwich artists had any say in the company’s marketing.”

9. He’s back…

“I worked at Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America for 4 years throughout college. One of our regulars was a middle-aged black guy who – no joke – ALWAYS wore a purple suit, 1 white bedazzled glove, and carried a cane (for looks, didn’t seem like he used it to walk).

I literally never heard him say a word in the entire time I worked there, not sure if he was mute/deaf, and he would come in at least once a week. He would ride every single ride by himself, even the little kiddie rides, once and then leave.

Never learned his name or anything about him, but every time he saw me he’d run over and give me a fist bump.

He was a super pleasant guy, just very eccentric. It’s been about 4 years since I worked there, not sure if he’s still coming in or not.”

10. A Pizza Hut obsession.

“Used to work at Pizza Hut.

At least once per week this guy came into our store at 2 orders of spaghetti with extra sauce. He would also do this at other locations so he had Pizza hut spaghetti probably 5-6 times a week.

After eating he would go sit in his car and blankly stair into space for several hours before driving away.”

11. This is a complete mystery to me.

“Phish and Dead fans.

I know a few like this. One has 50+ terabytes of just Grateful Dead shows dating back to before his birth and something like $15k in mint original concert posters framed on his walls.

I would try not to talk to him about music when we were in the work truck together for fear that he would never stop.”

12. College sports.

“I’ve worked in higher ed for 30 years. The obsession over college sports, especially in Division 1, is just nuts. I know people who chose a college because of a team. No mention of whether the university actually offered coursework in their intended major – they just wanted to get tickets.

I’ve worked on campuses where coaches and athletic directors were more powerful than the chancellors or presidents.

Clark Kerr was more correct than he knew when he said that the three purposes of a university were parking for the faculty, sports for the alumni, and sex for the students.”

13. At the water park.

“Worked at a water park. We had this couple that bought season tickets to the park every year. They were avid money collectors. Essentially what they did was they would rotate between our lazy rivers and our wave pool and just collect change that people dropped at the bottom of the pools.

They were there practically every day during the summer. They were obsessed with collecting lost money at the bottom of the pool. They claim that they collect enough money to buy season tickets every year and food at the park (which means they’ve collected several hundred dollars over the course of the summer).”

14. You’re going pro whether you like it or not!

“Hockey dads were the worst growing up. You could tell whose dad was trying to push their kid into the NHL stardom that they couldn’t reach.

Its the guy sitting in the stands watching every practice and screaming like a lunatic.

Wrestling dads are a close second.”

15. This is creepy.

“Okay, so let me just say upfront I don’t think the career I had would generally attract rabid enthusiasts – but I ended up getting a really creepy fan boy regardless. I was a forensic death investigator – forensics police officers that generally work with the DA’s office and/or the Medical Examiners office – so I guess we would get the occasional person who thought it was interesting because they’d seen CSI or Law and Order a few times.

Anyway, fanboy showed up to a suspected homicide scene and was chattering at the poor uni’s guarding the scene and trying to snap a few pics. So I figured he was really nosy, tone deaf press – gave him a scolding and told him that what he was doing wasn’t appropriate and was disrespectful of the decedent.

He agreed and left and I figured that was the last I’d see of him. But no, a week later the same guy showed up at another questionable scene but it doesn’t click that something is seriously off until he shows up at what turned out to be a suicide a complete county away from the last scene.

Apparently I wasn’t alone in my concerns as he was creeping out some of the other investigators that noticed him while working their cases too.

I get one of my coworkers to shake him down – see who the hell he is and what business he has to be here. Sure we get rubberneckers all the time who are curious and a bit morbid but no big deal, once the excitement passes they move on.

Guy has no criminal record and doesn’t work for the press so one of my superiors had a talk with him that he was making people nervous and it looked pretty shady to just start showing up at crime scenes.

Guy takes the hint for a while and decides a new tactic – fucker shows up at one of my favorite dive bars. Now I’m a 5’7” woman who doesn’t look imposing in the least, I also made it a point to live well away from where I work for various reasons.

He tries to buy me a drink chat me up with some of the creepiest shit I have ever heard – “What’s the worst crime scene you’ve investigated?,” “Have you ever worked on a case where the victim was dismembered?,” “Do you think rape/murder cases are really about power dynamics and not sexually motivated?”

I completely shut him down, not even trying to be polite and he seemed a little put off but not apologetic in the least. I put in notice with the DA’s office and ME’s office to give them a heads up and start a paper trail for an RO. He’s served with a cease and desists a few days later.

Not even 24 hours after the cease and desist is delivered he’s back to shadowing crime scenes like it’s going out of style and even gets into an altercation with one of the uniformed officers.

He gets slammed with trespassing, obstruction, and a few other charges but since he has no record he’s let out on bail – and shows up to a scene I’m working. We get into a scuffle after her breaks one of my guy’s nose to get onto the scene and my partner and I finally get him cuffed.

So, turns out he had a police scanner and a lot of creepy journals in his car – as well as notes on where I lived and worked along with info on one of the other female investigators.

Yeah, I never thought people would be that obsessed with crime scenes, forensics, or the like that they’d end up going to jail – but here we are.”

16. That’s wild.

“Train enthusiasts have been known to break into rail facilities and steal stuff off the more unique or rare equipment.

It’s a fairly regular occurrence… and often ruins it for the rest of us, as it’ll put that piece of equipment out of circulation.”

Wow…some people get a little obsessed, huh?

How about you?

Have you ever had to deal with obsessive fans?

Or maybe YOU’RE a crazy fan of something?

Tell us all about it in the comments!

The post People Talk About Fans They’ve Seen Do Totally Crazy Things appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes That Sum up How We Feel About 2020

I think it would be the understatement of the century to say that 2020 has been quite a doozy so far.

A worldwide health crisis, millions of people out of work, protests and civil unrest in the streets.

All we can hope for is that the second half of this year turns around and we can start healing.

And we all need to remember to have a laugh once in a while.

It’s good for us and it’s a way to relieve stress.

So what do you say? Do you want to have some laughs at some funny memes about how bad this year has been?

I think that’s a YES.

1. Be careful out there.

You never know what’s lurking in the water…

Photo Credit: someecards

2. Taking extra precautions.

You gotta be safe!

Photo Credit: someecards

3. Let’s not even go there.

It’s just too much to think about.

Photo Credit: someecards

4. Didn’t see that coming…

Ouch! That hurts!

Photo Credit: someecards

5. This is getting pretty old.

What else could possibly go wrong?

Photo Credit: someecards

6. You can say that again…

Some good news, please?

Photo Credit: someecards

7. Me, too.

Way out of my price range.

Photo Credit: someecards

8. You’ve had way too much to drink.

What a half-year it’s been…

Photo Credit: someecards

9. Keep doing your best!

You’re doing great!

Photo Credit: someecards

10. A lot to take in here.

Those poor kids…

Photo Credit: someecards

11. Exactly right.

Not pleasant at all…

Photo Credit: someecards

12. How weird is that?

No more bad news, please…

Photo Credit: someecards

13. Working overtime.

Their heads are about to explode.

Photo Credit: someecards

Hey! We still have half a year to turn this thing around, so let’s do it together!

But first, tell us how you’re dealing with the challenges of this year so far.

Talk to us in the comments.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post Memes That Sum up How We Feel About 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

Tweets We Think Are Just Super Funny

Sometimes there are great reasons to put together a list of tweets, and sometimes we just think you probably need a laugh!

These 14 tweets are all ready to deliver those in spades – so take a look and tell us how we did!

14. Except no one ever lets you off.

And from what I can tell, there’s no way to make them.

13. Maybe they just had an intuition.

I guess our problems look pretty small from up there.

12. I’ve yet to see a more accurate description.

Where is Simba? Quit screwing around in paradise and show up, man!

11. This is cracking me up.

This scene needs to go in a book/movie!

10. It’s a niche audience…you hope.

But what about if you watch your own? Asking for a friend.

9. I have no idea why this is so funny but there you go.

Someone even illustrated it.

8. It is no coincidence, I think.

I’m sure Carlisle is lurking in hospital wards looking for the prettiest saddest person to turn into a vampire for all eternity.

7. That’s seriously harder than anything else he did.

But who would WANT 12 people around all the time?

6. Oh my gosh you mean I’m not the only one who thought this?

Tell me there are more of us out there!

5. This will actually never get old.

You can’t change my mind.

4. Which is funny because no one can pronounce that, either.

But honestly you can say it any way you want.

3. I hear people in their 40s went to high school back then.

But seriously not one actor in that film looks 16.

2. Awww, what a sweet kid.

I always felt bad watching how much my parents spent at the store, too.

1. Bahahaha not the guest you were expecting!

Ellen always knows just what to get people.

I’m definitely still giggling over a few of these, how about you?

Tell us which hit the target the strongest for you!

The post Tweets We Think Are Just Super Funny appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About the First Thing That Comes to Their Mind When They Think About Canada

Hockey and Tim Horton’s coffee! That’s my answer!

What else is there? I kid, I kid.

Canada is a great country with a lot to offer, including world-class cities, nice people, and beautiful landscapes.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind about non-Canadian folks on AskReddit?

Well, let’s find out!

1. Great answer!

“I live about 45 minutes from Canada in Michigan.

Hockey, poutine, and 19 year old drinking age for me.”

2. Sums it up.

“I’m Australian, this is what I think of when I think Canada: Friendliness and politeness, the Canadian flag, maple trees/leaves/syrup, mountains, cold weather, poutine, speaking French, hockey.”

3. Nice border guards.

“Back in the day (80s and stuff) we used to go across the St. Clair River/Lake St. Clair to go to Canada.

The thing that sticks out in my mind is the friendliest border guards/coast guard guys in the world. It was like “hey, so why are you traveling to Canada today?” Oh, we’re just gonna go pick some strawberries at that farm…you know the one. “Oh, cool! Well have a nice time, and don’t forget to bring some back for us!”

Once out on the lake, we got “busted” by Canadians for having open alcohol on the boat. “You guys know that’s against the law over here, right?” (My brother puts his beer out of their line of sight) “Okay, you guys have a nice day!”

And of course, living so close to Canada we got Hockey Night in Canada, SCTV, and CBC Radio.

Now take off, eh?”

4. No pennies.

“A wonderful life without effing PENNIES.”

5. All the good stuff.

“First I picture the beautiful flag. The simplicity and elegance which makes for a perfect flag.

Then I picture the map. A huge county covered in unique and interesting nature.

Then I picture the mounties. Dressed in their sophisticated red uniforms, gracefully riding their horses.

Then I picture downtown Vancouver where I saw a hobo taking a piss in his hat.”

6. Sneak past ya…

“I once saw something on Reddit, not sure if it was a post or a comment, but it was someone describing how a Canadian will reach past someone at a grocery store to grab something and they’ll pretty much always say this when they do:

“Just gonna SNEAK right past ya there.”

This may not be exactly right but it’s still what I think about everytime Canadians are mentioned in any medium.”

7. Delicious!

“Poutine!

I went to Quebec and that’s all that they serve! Nothing better than eating Poutine at 3am after the bars!”

8. Zedd.

“Maple syrup and the Canadian flag. Honestly that’s what I just thought of. But also, I think of trees, airplanes, and Saskatchewan.

And the letter z (zee)… or according to Canadians… zedd.”

9. Great comedy.

“Phil Hartman, Jim Carrey, Mike Myers, Dan Aykroyd, Will Arnett, Tommy Chong, John Candy…

So funny dudes.

Yeah, I know, I’m old.”

10. The greatest sport.

“Hockey is one of the only places where a man with his teeth bashed out will point at another man with scars and a crooked nose and say, admiringly, “that guy has such beautiful soft hands.“”

11. The man!

“I’m surprised no one has mentioned Alex Trebek.

He’s a national treasure.”

12. Makes sense.

“Trailer Park Boys.

No joke, Nova Scotia smokes more weed per capita than any other province and it makes a lotta sense once you watch that show.”

13. Canadians LOVE this band.

“The Tragically Hip.

Watched the ‘Long Time Running’ (Netflix) doco last night and highly recommend it. Ain’t nothing more Canadian than that.”

14. Heroes.

“To me probably heroism and loyalty Canada played a very major role in liberating my country from German occupation in WW2, and every year during the 5th and 6th of May we commemorate your bravery and sacrifice!

So yeah, thank you Canada!”

15. Yes!

“This is weird, but honestly Degrassi: Next Generation comes to mind.

Drake being on that show playing Jimmy cracks me up, plus Spinner is my fav character for sure. Loved that fuckin guy”

16. Lovely people.

“Extremely polite Maple Syrup. -that’s my joke.

But, really… I think back to my childhood. Growing up in shitty apartments with a trailer park nearby in South Florida. An older couple that were “Snow Birds” (people from a place with snowy winters, who come to a warm place to spend the winter and then return home in the spring). They were the most delightful people. They somehow knew my Dad. He was gone a lot for work and my Mom was brutal.

Anyway, they would arrive. They had a small trailer with an attached screened in porch. The porch had jalousie windows. The trailer was a small one bedroom affair-tiny, it was neat as a pin. When they arrived, she would open it up and begin cleaning for their three month visit.

The husband would be gone to work or the horsetrack. She would hire me to wash windows, pull weeds and clean. She paid me a few dollars here and there, literally five dollars was a king’s ransom back then. But, she would cook for me. She made lunches and baked goods. I existed on cereal and other crap at home. My Mother was a 100 pound cigarette smoker and didn’t eat, hardly at all and therefore, never cooked. S

he was older when I was born. I was an “oops” kid for sure. At home my life sucked. This lovely woman fed me and treated me with kindness and dignity that my 11 year old self had never known. I’m in my fifties now and can still see the inside of the screened in porch and the TV tray where I sat and ate for a few days and then once a week after mowing for those three months, for five years until the husband died and they never returned.

I swear, this lovely French Canadian lady is responsible for any of the good that is in my heart. I hadn’t thought of those moments in quite a while.I’m getting teary writing this. So there, that’s what Canada means to me.”

17. There you have it!

“Maple syrup and M O O S E.”

O Canada! We love you!

Now we want to hear from all of you!

If you’re NOT from the great country of Canada, what’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about that country?

Let us know in the comments!

The post People Talk About the First Thing That Comes to Their Mind When They Think About Canada appeared first on UberFacts.

People Describe the Moment Another Human Left Them Speechless

If there’s one thing I know for sure after having various public-facing jobs for many of those years, it’s that human beings have the potential to really shock the sh*t out of you.

No matter how savvy or cynical you think you are, I promise there are people out there just waiting to surprise you – good or bad – a fact that these 17 people now know from experience.

17. Depression is an ugly monster.

“I literally hate the person I am right now”

Edit: Genuine, kind, caring person. Really left me speechless

16. Hmm, that seems like none of your business.

“do you finger yourself?”

-random friend of a former roommate, 10 minutes after meeting me

15. Avoid your mother when her friends and wine are involved.

“He(me) was an accident and (my dad) did not want to have kids, I was not going to get an abortion, so we got divorced.”

Something like that. I was 10. She always told me that they got married too young and wanted different things out of life. Don’t eavesdrop on your mom’s conversations with her friends drinking wine. Explains why my dad blows me off most of his weekends and when I’m there, I’m just kinda there and he ignores me.

14. Well if that isn’t a way to kill a conversation.

“Let me guess, you probably think fossils are real, don’t you?”

what

13. People say this shit way too often.

“she probably let herself get abused when she was younger”

12. That takes at least thirty seconds to process.

“Babe, you know how much I love you so dont be mad but I’ve been sleeping with your cousin for a while and we are in love and I’m gonna need you to support me on this. Also, if her husband calls, tell him she is with you.”

Needless to say the speechless portion didnt last too long.

11. It just makes you stop and think.

A colleague calling her own son “son of a bitch”.

10. I am not even ashamed that this could have been my husband.

We were in a grocery store, starting to head down an aisle, when a man stopped us and said:

“I’d recommend avoiding this aisle – my wife just cut a wicked fart.” His candor left us speechless.

Sure enough, even in the next aisle, we could smell it wafting in our direction.

9. Delete.

“The reason I think I’m always right is because I always am”

The guy was saying this while trying to argue that someone was wrong to call him arrogant.

8. That is one mad lady.

ex-girlfriend to me

“I hope that some day you’ll hate someone as much as I hate you.”

7. None of that is anyone else’s business.

A friend and I were in a store buying mannequins for our thrifting business. The guy who owns the store pointed to a specific mannequin and said:

‘This one has great t***. Not like my sister in law’s. She breastfed her baby and one day she whipped them out to feed him and they looked like fried eggs. RUINED FOREVER. My wife is in her 70’s and she has perky little t*** because she didn’t breastfeed our kids.”

Then he went on to tell us how his daughter breastfeeds and how great it is for babies. Wtf. We had known this guy all of 30 seconds before he unloaded this breastfeeding PSA on us ?

6. I mean those ellipses go on and on.

Me: “…and just a heads up, we close at 5pm today.”

Customer: “No you don’t.”

Me: “…”

5. What can you say to that, honestly?

“You shouldn’t microwave water; it takes the oxygen out.”

4. She’s been waiting for that moment for awhile.

I was talking to someone about something unimportant and I jokingly said to my friend, what could you possibly hate about me? Well, she goes on this long ass rant saying that I’m over dramatic, hypocritical, arrogant, and a political stereotype. I don’t even know what she meant with half of the things she was saying; she said I was a hypocrite for not liking anime.

3. It’s always true.

“You teach people how to treat you”

Mine blowing moment of realization that if I continued to say I suck and that no one should trust me with things, they will start to believe me and treat me as such.

2. You’re a time thief!

“Looking at your phone at work is the same thing as showing up to work drunk or on drugs”

1. Yes, there is racism in America.

Was at a small, shitty dinner that’s gone now. Two older couples were at the next booth over, talking about how one couple was trying to sell their house. They were complaining that no one would want to buy it, since a black family moved in next door. The other guy said ” it’s simple, when you’re walking in the yard with potential buyers and you see the neighbor, ask him how the flowers are coming along this year. They’ll just assume he’s the gardener! “

See what I mean?

What experience would you add to this list? Share it in the comments!

The post People Describe the Moment Another Human Left Them Speechless appeared first on UberFacts.

Examples Of Karens Behaving Like Total Karens

Whether you agree with it or not, some people get called Karen behind their backs for always trying to get their way.

It would be infuriating if it wasn’t just downright funny sometimes. Here are 15 times Karen just went out of her way to be such a, well, Karen.

1. Classic Karen

She’s fierce y’all! Don’t try to tell her about soccer!

How to stop karen from FuckYouKaren

2. Museum Karen

Come on, Karen, crack open a book. Or, you know, crack open your head. Either would work.

fuck sake Karen from FuckYouKaren

3. Solar Eclipse Karen

You … just can’t make this stuff up. But she apparently can. Out of thin air.

I want to speak to the manager of the solar system from FuckYouKaren

4. Insensitive Karen

We hope she read this reply! Because that is JUST what she deserved.

God I hate people who are like this. from FuckYouKaren

5. Sighing Karen

I mean, just come on now lady. Sit yourself back down and wait your turn!

Facebook Memory from 2015 from FuckYouKaren

6. Karen Critique

Ah! We did not see that plot twist coming!

Get fucked karen! from FuckYouKaren

7. Sushi Karen

Oh my word.

“THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!!” from FuckYouKaren

8. Those Shoes Though

“Live Love Laugh”

Whoever made these should be executed from FuckYouKaren

9. No, Debra

Such a great comeback.

Debra seems like a Karen from FuckYouKaren

10. He Doesn’t Even Work Here

Gosh, Karen. Chill.

When karen is the manager from FuckYouKaren

11. That Hair

Classic Karen.

I don’t mean to alarm anyone but THEY’VE STARTED FARMING KAREN’S!!!! from FuckYouKaren

12. Just Wow

What a surprise! They’re annoyed with you!

A 100 dollars says her name was Karen from FuckYouKaren

13. Shut Down

Yikes. That’s gonna burn.

Damn Karen from FuckYouKaren

14. Good Point

What’s up with that, Karen?!

Doggone from WhitePeopleTwitter

 

15. Couponing Karen

Get it together lady.

Madlad with a quarter from madlads

Apparently, some people just can’t help it. They must Karen at all costs.

What do you think of describing some women as Karens? Do you think this nickname is fair, or does it go too far? And are you named Karen? Do you hate it now?

Let us know in the comments!

We’d love to hear from you!

The post Examples Of Karens Behaving Like Total Karens appeared first on UberFacts.

Funeral Organizers Share the Strangest Funerals They’ve Organized

You have to be a certain kind of person to work in the funeral business.

I’d imagine it takes someone who is calm, collected, and is able to comfort others and make them feel welcome during very hard times.

Obviously, you also have to be very accommodating and make the family members of deceased people happy when it comes to what they want for their loved one’s funeral.

Folks on AskReddit who work in the funeral industry talked about the strangest and most unique funerals they’ve ever witnessed.

1. Wow…

“A family asked us to play some hardcore gangster rap for their mother/grandmother at her service and we happily obliged. I can’t quite remember the name of the song but it had heavy themes of murder, drug use and pretty foul language.

Her service was then finished with a recital of the Lord’s Prayer.”

2. Family tradition.

“Long line of funeral directors.

My great grandfather buried a lady that was over 8 feet talk and worked as a performer for the circus. He had to use an oversized display model for the casket and sat on the coffin for seats (horses back then). Buried the whole site with concrete to keep out grave robbers.

Heard she was a really nice lady.”

3. I’d like to see this.

“A “Viking” funeral.

Putting the ashes of the deceased out to sea in a little boat fashioned out of salt and covered with dry flowers/kindling. Fashioning biodegradable arrows with flaming tips. Everyone shot flaming arrows at the boat and it caught fire then dissolved into the sea.

(Now to be clear, Vikings never did any of this but Hollywood gave people ideas…)

Apparently I am not the first, but it was cool. Put the “fun” back in “funeral.””

4. Whatever you want.

“Former funeral director.

Usually ran the back of the house but met with families on a few occasions. Met with the parents of a 16 year old girl who had died in a car crash. Arrangements were tough at first because how could they not be. We got the official stuff out of the way and then talked about what she (the deceased) would’ve wanted.

Ended up re-arranging the funeral home so that the lobby had crock pots of boiled peanuts and a lounge with the Lion King playing. Inside the main parlor was a purple-themed dance party. The pinnacle of the evening was the girl’s mom leading everyone in doing “the wiggle.”

It was amazing and I am still floored by this family for being able to really celebrate their daughter’s life in this way.”

5. Couldn’t get the timing right.

“Some retired admiral died, and his wife “insisted” that a group of F-18s perform a flyover during the service. Well, this was extremely difficult to pull off, for numerous reasons.

Anyway, the owner of the funeral home was able to make it happen. Unfortunately, the flyover was roughly 2-3 minutes earlier then scheduled.

The wife was so mad that she tried to withhold paying.”

6. Big fan.

“I’m hired frequently to play violin at funerals.

Not sure it qualifies as weird, but it was definitely unique.

Woman died in her late 80’s. Her entire family was there, including 3 or 4 great grandkids even. She had a big family and was well liked in her community, so there was about 100-150 people there. Everyone was dressed super nice, and from talking to everyone, it was clear no one knew what was coming…

Turns out, their grandmother was a huge LotR fan. So, she had a Lord of the Rings themed funeral, with me playing ‘Concerning Hobbits’, ‘Gandalfs’ fall, and the like. It was fun, but the shock on everyone’s faces was hilarious!”

7. Gone fishin’.

“Been in the industry 20 years, my family for over 125 years. The most interesting one I personally organized was a young guy in his early 20’s who loved to fish.

So we put him in his canoe for the viewing/service, and he was cremated later. The service was at a church, the canoe was way too big for the hearse.

The lesson to take away is: You never know exactly whats in a U-Haul.”

8. Human taxidermy?

“Not a funeral organizer, but I work with someone in that business.

I thought everyone was joking until I actually saw the pictures. They had a guy whose family wanted him staged and posed for the viewing.

Like instead of an open casket laying peacefully, they literally had him mounted on his motorcycle in full gear: leather jacket, backwards hat, sunglasses. It was one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen, like it gave me human taxidermy vibes.”

9. Very weird.

“So this is not a weird thing that happened, it’s rather the community. I’m not an organizer myself, but my dad is and I help out sometimes.

I’m living in Germany and we have some kind of remainder of the 3rd reich called Reichsbürger. Just google them, some crazy people…

So usually the are distributed, but for their comrade who recently passed they gathered together to about 50 people. It was so surreal that something like this still exists and is even allowed to do so. I didn’t know about this before and I think I’ll never forget about it.”

10. Surreal.

“I was a Licensed funeral director and embalmer in numerous states but this event happened in Miami Florida a woman Jewish woman with substantial money died in Miami Beach, we brought to the funeral home and embalmed her( more to this) we did a typical service Rabbi in the House and was going to be a graveside Service.

Days prior to that though the woman’s dream of dying was to go be buried in her Mercedes Benz 1984 convertible so we brought the Mercedes to the cemetery and measured and calculated how deep how wide to get the Mercedes 6 feet under and with her in the driver seat and embalmed with her hands and arms stretched out and around the steering wheel.

I looked in and it was so bizarre and surrealI and I will never experience that again mainly because I’m not a funeral director anymore.

Anyway the grave was covered up everybody said their goodbyes and I imagine to this day she’s still there driving around.”

11. This is…odd…

“One was a “Wizard of Oz”-themed funeral, where the deceased woman had loved the original movie and requested that music from it be used.

Pall bearers and friends of the family dressed in costumes of the principal characters as they entered the church, including dozens of Munchkins, Toto, and the Witch.

There wasn’t a dry eye after the eulogy when the soloist sang “Over the Rainbow,” but many smiles as the coffin was carried out of the church en route to the cemetery as everyone sang “We’re Off to See the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!”

12. Skateboarding is life.

“An older, well known, local skater died and we held a Skate Funeral. Hung his board, pads and helmet on the fence.

A good friend of his eulogized him. Some other folks told some stories about him. After that we all pounded our boards on the pavement in synch for about 5 minutes, chanting his name and his various handles.

Skated hard to his favorite bands and passed the hat for his family…I have been to much worse funerals.”

13. Start your engines.

“My parents are pastors and I would help them out occasionally. One guy had a NASCAR themed funeral.

The coffin had headlights and in the middle of the service, the kids in attendance got to slap stickers onto the coffin.

They also played car noises as the pallbearers moved the coffin.”

14. In the Deep South.

“Was a funeral director in the Deep South for about 4 years. We did quite a few Free Mason funeral services and they were always quite interesting to watch. Especially when the Free Mason brotherhood came to perform their burial rites.

Had a lady who died and as per her request she only wanted Lynyrd Skynyrd music playing(sweet home Alabama,Free Bird etc.)in the chapel during the wake and before and after the eulogy was given.

Did a funeral for a convicted pedophile that spent the last 40 years in prison and died while in it due to natural causes. Was odd to witness just 4 people show up for funeral service.”

15. In pieces.

“My dad was a funeral director in a small town.

One day, a guy called and said, I’m going to be dropping off my foot this afternoon. He was like, what?

The guy was diabetic and had to get his foot amputated. He had already purchased a burial plot in a local cemetery, and wanted his foot to be buried there with the rest of him to follow eventually.

Sure enough, the guy came in a wheelchair with a bug bundle containing his foot. He insisted that my dad embalm it. So, he did. It was then buried in his plot.

About a year later, the guy calls up again. “I’m going to be bringing over my leg, I need you to embalm it and have it buried.” Apparently his diabetes had continued to progress, and they had to amputate the leg opposite of the one that was missing its foot. So, my dad dutifully embalmed it and arranged for it to be buried.

About another year or so goes by, and the man finally dies.

My dad embalmed him and saw to it that he was buried with the rest of the parts which preceded him in death.”

Wow…I don’t think that’s an industry I’d be comfortable working in AT ALL.

Now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please tell us about any unusual funerals you’ve been to.

We look forward to hearing from you!

The post Funeral Organizers Share the Strangest Funerals They’ve Organized appeared first on UberFacts.