Category: Funny

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Health Care Professionals Talk About People Who Came in With Objects Stuck in Their Butts

That was a terrible accident!

I don’t know how that got there!

Where am I?

Doctors hear all kinds of bogus excuses and stories, particularly when it comes to things that ARE STUCK IN SOMEONE’S ASS.

And yes, these things apparently happen all the time.

Are you ready to be entertained?

Let’s take a look at these stories from folks on AskReddit.

1. OH MY GOD.

“A college friend who is an OR nurse said the best thing she ever witnessed was a small snow globe with the message “World’s Greatest Dad” on the inside.”

2. Love triangle.

“Saw someone with a remote control stuck way up in their colon. She said she was “getting herself ready,” for anal sex with her boyfriend and then it got stuck.

The kicker was that she showed up to the hospital with her boyfriend AND her husband in tow!”

3. Mom!

“My ex is a ER nurse.

One night she sent me a pic of her computer of what she was working on. 16yo male brought in by his mother. Shoved a sausage up his ass and “lost” it. Imagine the embarrassment of telling mom … hey mom. I lost a sausage in my ass. Can you take me to the ER.

Fuckin kids.”

4. Come on, buddy…

“Had one guy tell me he slipped on a banana peel and landed on the upright vase on the floor.

He then proceeded to produce a banana peel for good measure.”

5. Holy sh*t.

“When I was a student working in an ER a guy came in with an unraveled wire hanger stuck and hooked up there.

He said he was trying to fish out the vibrator he lost.”

6. Hello?

“Guy came in with a cordless phone up his ass, like one of the old-school ones from 15 years ago.

He said that when he was in the kitchen bending over opening the oven door, someone threw it through his open window and it just went right up.”

7. An accident.

“It always boils down to the person “accidentally” sat on it.

The best my dad saw – a former emergency doctor – was a young guy who “accidentally” sat on a giant tub of vaseline. Accidentally.

I asked how doctors record that in their patient files, and the common way to do so is to say “the patient claims to have sat on x object.””

8. Don’t do that anymore, sir.

“Had this elderly guy come in with a cucumber up there. First month of residency, so my attending asks why did you put that up there? Guy, dead normal, says “well it was just like every Tuesday. I woke up, made some coffee, and sat on a cucumber.”

Stifling laughter my attending just said, “sir you shouldn’t do that anymore.”

He says “ok.” We removed it and never saw him again.”

9. That’s messed up.

“ER nurse: “I tried to dig something out of my ass with a BBQ skewer.”

Skewer got stuck. Ripped a hole in his intestines. He waited so long to come in he was septic. One STAT OR visit and an ICU stay later, “please don’t call my mom”.

Guy was tripping hard on LSD.”

10. Still telling jokes!

“Guy puts a vibrator (one of the massive cordless wand types) waaaaay up there, like a mega seed, and it gets sucked into the sigmoid colon.

When he gets to me in the ER I ask him how he was feeling. He answered, “well doc, I’m way better since the batteries died.”

Made my night.”

11. Honestly is the best policy.

“”I stuck it up there on purpose and now it’s stuck. Please help”

It was a perfectly honest and valid reason for have something stuck up your ass, and we helped. No further questions needed.”

12. I went to investigate.

“Presented at ER in Sydney with carrot stuck in the arse. Doctor: “What happened?”

Patient: ” I heard a noise in the garden. Went to investigate. Slipped and fell over. Carrot went up my bum.”

Doctor: “Carrots grow upside-down out your way huh?””

13. Naked gardening.

“Mostly bottles or vegetables. The aubergine was the biggest but potatoes and carrots seem to be popular.

Ketchup, mayo and glass cola bottles were common at one point. Also one butt plug and a toilet brush.

The last two were honest and very distraught. Others all had naked gardening stories.

There’s an even worse question you haven’t asked which is for things people have shoved up their urethras, only men in my experience.”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about some embarrassing medical stories that either happened to you or that you know about.

Please and thank you!

The post Health Care Professionals Talk About People Who Came in With Objects Stuck in Their Butts appeared first on UberFacts.

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A Boss Clapped Back at Entitled Customers For Making Server’s Life Miserable

It’s a great feeling when your boss seems to “get it” — he or she supports you wherever possible, applauds your ideas, stands up for you in meetings and just generally encourages you to keep doing your best.

Sometimes, it can feel like these bosses are few and far between, especially in the restaurant industry. But one waitress’s recent post on Reddit will totally renew your faith in restaurant bosses everywhere.

She posted her experiences with the best boss ever on the r/TalesFromYourServer sub-Reddit, which, as you might have guessed, is full of anecdotes and stories from life as a waiter or waitress (or bartender).

The story starts off pretty badly, but finishes with such a happy ending. It all started when the waitress was waiting tables at a pizza restaurant. An older couple came into eat:

Photo Credit: Reddit

And they started to get REALLY shitty…

Photo Credit: Reddit

And then the owner steps in…

Photo Credit: Reddit

Boom! Take that asshole customers!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Yes! This story is giving us life! You can literally feel how relieved the original poster was when her boss stepped in.

Plus, the icing on the cake was the owner’s compliment to the waitress after the fact. We are so here for this!

People on Reddit were also really into it. posting encouraging comments on the thread.

Some people shared their previous boss’s philosophies:

Photo Credit: Reddit

While others chimed in about not giving a shit about “losing” a customer:

Photo Credit: Reddit

Because why would you care? Good riddance!

Photo Credit: Reddit

Others were just happy to hear about this supportive boss:

Photo Credit: Reddit

And some could not figure out why people are just so inherently rude to servers and other restaurant support staff:

Photo Credit: Reddit

Don’t be a big ol’ bag of dicks, as this commenter says. When you go to a restaurant, try to put yourself in the shoes of the people serving you (and maybe you’ve already been in their shoes before!). After all, the world could use a little more empathy in general, right?

What’s your biggest restaurant pet peeve?

We’d love to hear from you!

Let us know in the comments!

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Let’s Take a Look at the Infamous Exploding Whale Incident of 1970

When kids are in high school, many of them think history class is the worst. One of the reasons for this, I’m sure, is that the worst teachers gravitate to that subject, but listen.

If teachers taught the parts of history that are actually interesting, I’m convinced it would magically turn into everyone’s favorite subject.

So, if you’ve never heard of the exploding whale incident of 1970, prepare to be amazed.

Image Credit: YouTube

It’s been nearly 50 years since someone thought “hey, dynamite seems like a good way to get this dead whale off the beach,” and now a beautiful park on the Oregon coast has been dubbed “Exploding Whale Memorial Park.”

That whale may not have died well, but at least he’s being remembered, eh?

It was November of 1970 when an 8-ton sperm whale beached itself. It had already expired when it was found, and the case was turned over to the Oregon highway division. The Navy advised them to blow the whale up, aiming it toward the ocean, where plenty of smaller animals would be delighted at the already-cooked meal.

They set to figuring out how much dynamite might be required to accomplish such a grisly feat, and, well…in the end, I think they probably wished they’d consulted a few experts.

Image Credit: YouTube

Like businessman Walt Umenhofer, perhaps, who was trained in using explosives during World War II. He happened to be driving near the scene at the time (in his brand-new car), and told the highway division he didn’t believe they’d gotten their calculations right. They’d stuck about 20 crates under the carcass, and he advised them to go with a lot fewer maybe 20 sticks) if they wanted to push it out to sea – or a heck of a lot more if they wanted to vaporize the entire thing.

Project manager George Thornton waved him off, telling reporters “well, I’m confident that it’ll work, the only thing is we’re not sure how much explosives it’ll take to disintegrate this thing.”

Image Credit: YouTube

The answer was more than they had, because when the whale exploded, massive pieces of blubber flew everywhere – onto buildings, cars in parking lots, and people suddenly caught in an unexpected and gory blubberstorm.

One journalist, Paul Linnman, said at the time that “explosions in the movies usually look like a blast of fire and smoke. This one more resembled a mighty burst of tomato juice.

Image Credit: YouTube

Poor Walt Umenhofer, who I assume was too disgusted to muster an “I told you so,” watched his car get smothered in whale debris. It caved in the roof and he required a shovel to remove all of the parts.

“My insurance company’s never going to believe this,” he said afterward.

The project manager refused to admit any mistake, saying that an unknown hole under the whale was what caused gawkers to be sprayed in whale innards.

Basically, you can see why this incident would grab kid’s attention in schools – perhaps part of a math lesson, even, about how to calculate force needed per ton or something? I’m not a math person, but I guarantee this story would have caught my attention.

For now, though, I applaud the people of Oregon for realizing there was never really any other name for this beach.

Live in infamy, giant sperm whale. You’ve given us more than we’ve deserved.

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What’s Your Favorite Paradox? Here’s What People Said.

The definition of a paradox: “a situation, person, or thing that combines contradictory features or qualities.”

Whether you realize it or not, you use them all the time and you hear them and read them all the time, too!

So we’re about to see all kinds of paradoxes!

Let’s have some fun with folks on AskReddit!

1. Hmmm…

“No one goes there because it’s too crowded.”

2. Sure ain’t.

“The future ain’t what it used to be.”

3. This drives me nuts.

“Entry level position requiring 5+ years of experience.”

4. You see this one quite a bit.

“I hate myself, but I think I’m better than everyone.”

5. Huh?

“Trust me when I say this, trust no one…”

6. A head-scratcher.

“The Paradox of Tolerance.

“In order to maintain a tolerant society, the society must be intolerant of intolerance.””

7. Dammit!

“Nothing is impossible.

If nothing is impossible it’s possible for something to be impossible.”

8. Deeeeep thoughts.

“If you enjoy being taken out of your comfort zone, you can’t be.”

9. I think I might be stupid…

“Berry Paradox: here’s a version from Wikipedia “The smallest positive integer not definable in under sixty letters” (which contains 57 letters) so haven’t you just defined that integer?

I find it interesting because I wrote a paper on parallels between it, compression, incompressibility, and Kolmogorov complexity. Language and symbolic representations are weird.”

10. Heaps of sand.

“The heap of sand one.

If you have what you agree to be a “heap” of sand, and remove one grain, then it’s still a heap, right?

So if a heap -1 is still a heap, you should logically be able to keep going until you have a “heap” of 1 grain of sand.”

11. Zeno’s Paradox.

“Zeno’s Paradox.

If you want to reach a wall and you’re 10 meters away, then travel half the distance. Then, travel half of THAT distance, and do it again, and again, and again.

Mathematically, you will never reach 0, thus you will never reach the wall, but physically, you will.”

12. Cannabis.

“The cannabis paradox.

Back in the early 20th century, when they were pushing to make cannabis illegal, the primary reason was to go after people of color. So they made a law stating that in order to legally possess cannabis (which they called marijuana for purely racist reasons), they had to have a valid license of ownership. In order to be able to apply for that license, they had to have cannabis in their possession.

So people of color, wanting to stay within the realm of the law, would go to the police station, with cannabis in their possession, acting in good faith to apply for a license to carry cannabis. And then they would subsequently be arrested for being in possession without a license.

I can’t say this is my favorite paradox, but it’s by far the most chilling example of how logic plays ZERO factor in institutionalized racism, and it never will.”

13. I’m freakin’ out!

“The grandfather paradox – if you travel back in time and kill your grandfather then you wouldn’t have been born.

But if you weren’t born then you couldn’t kill your grandfather  which means you did get born, etc…”

14. Swimming lessons.

“You shouldn’t go in the water till you know how to swim, but you cant learn to swim without going in the water.”

15. Let’s talk about Rick Astley.

“The Astley Paradox.

If you ask him to give you the movie UP, and he declines the offer, he will have let you down, but if he accepts, he has gave you up.”

16. Think about that one.

“Schrödinger’s immigrants.

Immigrants who are somehow lazy and leeching off social services while simultaneously stealing all all the jobs.”

17. Interesting…

“The Fermi Paradox is one of my all time favorites!

The Fermi paradox, named after Italian-American physicist Enrico Fermi, is the apparent contradiction between the lack of evidence for extraterrestrial civilizations and various high estimates for their probability (such as some optimistic estimates for the Drake equation).

The following are some of the facts that together serve to highlight the apparent contradiction:

There are billions of stars in the Milky Way similar to the Sun.

With high probability, some of these stars have Earth-like planets.

Many of these stars, and hence their planets, are much older than the sun. If the Earth is typical, some may have developed intelligent life long ago.

Some of these civilizations may have developed interstellar travel, a step humans are investigating now.

Even at the slow pace of currently envisioned interstellar travel, the Milky Way galaxy could be completely traversed in a few million years.

And since many of the stars similar to the Sun are billions of years older, the Earth should have already been visited by extraterrestrial civilizations, or at least their probes.

However, there is no convincing evidence that this has happened.”

You know the drill…

Now it’s your turn!

Tell us your favorite paradox in the comments!

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People Share Their Favorite Mind-Bending Paradoxes

Language can be fun! Especially when it comes to paradoxes.

Do you know what a paradox is? Just in case you don’t, it’s basically a self-contradictory statement. And there are a ton of them out there that we say all the time.

What’s your favorite paradox?

Here’s what the good people on AskReddit had to say.

1. Brain matter.

“The human brain paradox.

You see, our brains are so complex that we can’t fully understand how they work. If they were simpler, we totally could.

Except that if our brains were simpler, we’d be more stupid, and still unable to fully understand our own brains.”

2. The Cobra Effect.

“The Cobra effect.

During the British rule of colonial India the government was concerned about the number of cobras in Delhi. To resolve this, the British offered a bounty for every dead cobra brought in. While initially successful this resulted in people breeding the cobras to then slaughter them for the reward.

When the British became aware of this they stopped the bounty, resulting in many of the breeders releasing their now worthless cobras into the general population and thus overall increasing the population of cobras in Delhi.

Good anecdote to describe unintended consequences.”

3. A personal one.

“I work in IT and have no fucking clue what I have been doing for the past 20 years and am constantly panicked that it is all about to fall apart, I will be exposed as a fraud, fired, sued, shot, killed, burned, ashes scattered in a sewer in Scotland the morning after a Haggis cook off.

However, all the people I work with seem to have literally Never touched a piece of technology that didn’t baffle them like Australopithecus staring at a 2019 Peterbuilt, I swear they are all fucking morons, if I am the stupidest person I know then how are all of them so bad at their jobs?”

4. Bootstrap.

“There’s a version of the Boostrap Paradox I like from a novel called The Anubis Gates.

One of the main characters is studying the poetry written by an ancient Pharaoh. Time travel shenanigans ensue, and he comes to realize that he, in the past, is said ancient Pharaoh, and writes down the poetry from memory so it can be written when history says it is.

Now, he studied it in the future, where he memorized it. And he wrote it in the past from that memorization. But his future self could only study it because his past self wrote it, who only knew it because his future self studied it, and so on.

Who wrote the poems?”

5. Cheesy.

“Cheese has holes More cheese = more holes More holes = less cheese.”

6. Yeah…

“When my family says, “I’m not racist but…” and then proceeds to say something definitely racist.”

7. Coastlines.

“The coastline paradox.

Coastlines don’t have a well defined length. Imagine trying to measure the coastline of an island. Actual coasts wiggle in and out.

How small of a wiggle you’re willing to measure (instead of just glossing over it) will change the length you measure.”

8. Changing rooms.

“I believe it’s called The Hotel Paradox?

There’s an infinite number of rooms in a hotel, and if each person moves to the room next door/a different room no one would be left without a room or you’d never run out of rooms.

Either that or you’d just have to keep folks moving all the time.”

9. One to ponder.

“If you go back in time and kill Hitler, then you will never have heard of Hitler in your time and wouldn’t know to go back in time and kill him so Hitler would live allowing you to learn about him and go back in time to kill him but now you’ve never heard of him and don’t go back to kill him so he to lives.”

10. Whoa!

“Doc Hollywood and Doc Brown.”

11. Deep in space.

“Moore’s Law – Waiting Paradox.

There’s no point in launching a spaceship on a deep space mission, because as technology advances so rapidly that any ship you build in the future will be faster/more efficient and hence overtake any craft that you launch now, inferring that one should always put off launching a deep space mission.”

12. Death penalty.

“If you support the death penalty, and even one person is found out to be innocent after their execution, you are in turn a murderer and should be put to death.

It’s the obvious paradox of the death penalty, but people enjoy bloodlust too much to see through the red in their eyes and black in their hearts. This applies to everyone who currently supports the death penalty.

Society wrongfully murders people who are later exonerated every year; it’s fucking bananas some states still allow it.”

13. Thank you for this!

“People who claim that undocumented workers in the US are lazy and leeches to society (implying that they don’t work) but that they’re stealing jobs from Americans.”

14. Bad traffic.

“That nobody drives in NYC because the traffic is so bad.”

15. Now what?

“You’re damned if you do, and you’re damned if you don’t.”

16. Blowin’ my mind!

“There is a time travel paradox that involves a door.

So you have a field and there is a free standing door. You are the guard you watch from side on. The door only lets people move 24 hours. Go in one way and it’s 24 hours into the future. Go in the other and it 24 hours into the past.

One day you see a guy come out into the past. But unlike most people he doesn’t leave. He stays in the field near the door. Then, precisely 24 hours after he arrives, he goes into the door.

The paradox is this man’s existence. To the casual observer he only exists for the 24 hours between exit and entrance.”

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us what YOUR favorite paradox is.

Please and thank you!

The post People Share Their Favorite Mind-Bending Paradoxes appeared first on UberFacts.

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Period Memes that Perfectly Proclaim the Pain

Periods suck. Period. Periodically a period strikes and for a certain period of time, the period positively permeates the person’s pastimes. Periods have the propensity to propagate perplexing pains and panicky perceptions which place periods firmly at the pinnacle of experiences we’d prefer to push away. Period.

Peruse these period pieces to more pleasantly process the particular pain of these pesky periods.

10. Color coded

I’m just gonna lie here ’till it’s over.

9. Bloody hell

“You’re gonna be OK! Say the goddamn words!”

8. A quiet place

May as well shout it from the rooftops.

7. The end of the road

This is my final resting place.

6. Fruitful endeavors

To be fair, those apples are being total jerks.

5. Mixed messages

If only you could just block this number.

4. That’s SO Raven

Oh, snap!

3. Jelly belly

But it was the last one and it was banana flavor, who wouldn’t cry?

2. Step away

Chucky didn’t come to play.

1. What do your elf eyes see?

The beacon is lit, Gondor calls for aid.

https://leeeeeeeeeegooooooooolaaaaaaaaas.tumblr.com/post/62936206563/waking-up-with-your-period

If you’re dealing with a period right now, we all wish you godspeed. You can do this. You can win this. You WILL live to fight another day. Period.

What’s the worst thing about all of this in your opinion?

Go ahead and vent about it in the comments with us.

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When Your Nephew Says Someone Is Watching You Sleep…It Gets Creepy

Children say creepy stuff – so often, in fact, that there are threads and websites dedicated to parents and caregivers being able to tell their stories online.

Some of them are fairly mundane (as these things go), or even easily explained. We’ve sort of accepted at this point that kids can see things we can’t, and maybe even remember past lives since they’re so “new” to earth.

There are times, though, that I imagine it’s quite hard to sleep after a kiddo says something completely random and creepy…and this little boy telling his nephew that the “other man” watches him sleep and night definitely falls into that category.

I would think.

He’s told his cousin not to come into his room until he’s awake (because yeah, kids watching you sleep until you wake up is intensely creepy. The kid doesn’t listen (because he’s a kid) and finally, OP (original poster) got a bit huffy with him about following directions.

The Other Man Watches Me. from CreepyKids

The kid’s answer? It’s not fair that HE can’t come in the room when THE OTHER MAN watches OP sleep every night!

My face right now, y’all.

This guy had a good suggestion, and I hope OP has asked his nephew to draw this other man. I mean, because it’s important to identify the people in your room at night, obviously

Image Credit: Reddit

While this chap thinks perhaps it’s a person at the window, and cameras are in order. Just for peace of mind.

Image Credit: Reddit

And yeah..there’s the ghost angle.

Image Credit: Reddit

What do you think is going on here? Ghosts? Intruders? Kids being weird?

Tell us where you side in the comments!

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People Talk About Things That Only Exist to Piss People Off

You might think there are a ton of people and products and experiences that only exist to anger the general population, and honestly…you might be right.

These 16 people certainly had no trouble coming up with long lists of minute but irritating crap that most of us encounter on an all too regular basis.

What can we do about it? Let’s get together sometime and find out, because I’ve had enough.

16. I’m telling you, some people just think they’re practical jokers.

Those pull tabs on seals that don’t work unless you really put your back into it.

Then they give suddenly and the contents of the container fly out and make a hug mess

15. It’s like a game literally no one can win, and nobody asked to play in the first place.

The fake X on advertisements, or the ones on mobile that have 2×2 pixels that you can never hit and instead click the ad.

14. This does not make anyone buy anything.

How commercials are intentionally louder than the show.

Fuck that!

13. This just causes instant rage.

When a screen loads up, and then readjusts right when you are trying to click on something.

Which then causes you to click on the wrong thing.

Ugh!

12. Seriously, what is the point?

Car alarms.

People basically ignore them because they go off too easily, and then nobody ever catches their car being stolen because of the false alarms.

So basically, you have a giant siren attached to your car that makes everyone else in the neighborhood hate you.

Here’s a pretty good article on how useless they are

11. It’s like some kind of federally mandated gag gift.

The “new” red gas cans.

The Fed gov’t started requiring a new spout that has a valve that completely prevents you from being able to pour gas out of it.

Seems to serve no other purpose than prevent people from being able to use a gas can without pouring gasoline all over the place.

10. I’m surprised it took so long to get to this.

mosquitos.

9. I have the feeling a lot of people think this way.

I swear my fucking boss only exists to piss people off.

8. Just remove the superfluous buns!

The inequality of the number of hot dogs vs. The number of buns in a pack.

7. Just thinking about it makes you sweat, right?

Unnecessary hard to open plastic packaging around some of the least valuable items.

6. Do not go for those bonus points, friends.

Slime as gifts for children. Bonus points if it’s a slime kit that the parent needs to help them make. So not only do I get to TRY and get this shit out of my carpet, I have to help them make it first.

I regret all the times I suggested people get it for my niece as a gift. I know she loves it, but I couldn’t understand the evil eye my sister in-law would give the gift giver until my kids got a slime kit, and I got roped into making it.

5. Anything that pops up to cover a whole page, honestly.

The pop up to subscribe in the newsletter of a website that covers the entire fucking page.

Of course I will subscribe to it on the first time I’m visiting your website.

4. Who is this helping?

That stupid crimped packaging that comes on knives, scissors, ect that is impossible to open and sharp as hell when you finally do tear it open.

3. Poor design is enraging.

Door handles for doors you are supposed to push to open

2. That’s why you gotta have a fake email handy.

Mandatory e-mail sign ups when visiting a website or using a service.

Even some doctors and dentists require you to do it now.

1. Also how long it can take you to figure it out.

Fake drawer handles on furniture.

Seriously, I’m sitting here getting more irritated by the post!

Is something missing? What would you add?

Tell us in the comments!

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People Share Stories of Huge Mistakes They Fixed Before Anyone Noticed

Have you been in this situation before?

Maybe it happened at work, or maybe it happened out in public, but you BLOW IT and FUCK UP in a huge way and you go into panic mode.

Now you need to fix your FUCK UP before anyone notices.

It’s a race against the clock but somehow you pull it off.

Whew! That was a close call!

AskReddit users shared their stories that are just like this.

1. Whoopsy daisy.

“Fucked up numerous times working on live applications. The best one was accidentally deleting the user table.

I was trying to delete a subset of users and managed to hit the key to run the statement before I’d written the “where” clause. If you don’t have a “where” clause to tell the database which records you want to delete, it just deletes all of them.

Luckily, the user table was only ever read by the application on log-in, so no one was going to notice unless they happened to log-in in the 2 mins or so it took me to load the records back in from a back-up.”

2. Working with acid.

“Working at a laboratory that used acid solutions to dissolve geological samples for various tests, my technical manager left a component of a machine in a plastic beaker filled halfway with concentrated hydrofluoric acid, unlabeled, in a fume hood that other people used regularly, “to see what it would do”.

I dumped it in a neutralizer and this asshole had the balls to yell at me for ruining his “test”. I told him it would etch and dissolve the part because it was glass, and he didn’t require a test because that’s already a known property.

Had someone spilled it on even a gloved hand, the hydrofluoric acid would pass through protection and enter the bloodstream without sensation, where it would leach calcium out of the bones, wreaking havoc on the nervous system causing a horrible, agonizing death.”

3. In the trash.

“I once had a roommate who didn’t speak English too well. She was moving away, and she was leaving in a hurry, and before she left she asked me to “take care of” a big bag of what was apparently clothes.

I assumed those were trash she didn’t want to take with her, and she just didn’t have time to throw them away, so once she left, I took that bag to the trash canister outside. A few hours later, that interaction just came back to my mind and seemed strange to me. I went back to the trash canister, the bag was still there, and brought it back inside.

The next day, she came back to get it and thanked me for “taking care of it”. She was a nice, poor girl from a rural region that was already struggling in the city, and I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I had to tell her that I threw her clothes into the trash.”

4. A wonderful song.

“Worked at a record / video rental store. After work on a weeknight, we close at 10pm, clean the store, count the register, lock the safe and go home.

When we clean the store we would often play a CD someone may have returned or which we wouldn’t normally play. Tonight it was 2 Live Crew’s ‘Banned In The USA’ CD with their hit single, ‘Pop That Pussy’. We put this on and crank it and start falling over laughing.

The bass is insane. We have 8 speakers set up around the perimeter of the store, all on shelves hanging near the ceiling. We hear this loud “THUNK” and cannot pinpoint what it was. We notice a speaker is “missing”… then find the corpse. It had jumped off it’s shelf and split into several chunks in the aisle.

Our night manager acted fast. “YOU!” she said, pointing to the 18 year old cashier. “Here’s $10. Go next door to Walgreens and get wood glue!” He’s gone. We start seeing if we can piece it back together. He returns. We glue it up and gently set that bitch back up on it’s shelf and left the speaker wire oh-so-gently unhooked.

The store closed about 6 years later and the manager never found out! We won! Yay Miami bass! Yay Pop That Pussy!”

5. Life and death.

“I was mixing IVs at the hospital.

Someone had put the wrong bag in the wrong bin. I didn’t notice.

I proceeded to make a batch of epidurals out of the wrong medicine. No one caught it. It somehow made it to the OB floor.

I came back into the IV room and saw the empty bag hanging and my stomach dropped. I called OB to ensure none had been used and to make sure it wouldn’t. Brought them back and wrote myself up.

If I hadn’t caught it, it would of caused major issue’s including the possibility of killing the patients. There were 12 syringes if I remember correctly.

I learned a very valuable lesson that day.”

6. Chicken drama.

“This is great timing, I was just thinking about this a few hours ago.

I rented a room from a couple and one of the rules was that I could not enter their yard. In their yard they had all sorts of animals a lovely quaky duck, a few cats and chickens. The chickens were in a big coop cause the cats hunting instincts were still to prevalent.

One weekend they asked me to feed the chickens while they went on a trip. On the last day of feeding all the chickens got out (5), and I noticed just in time to rip one of the chickens from the cats mouth.

After another hilarious 30 minute chase I’d put all the chickens back in the coop, minutes before they came home. I don’t think they noticed.”

7. That was awesome!

“Years ago, I lived in DC. One morning, riding in on the Metro I was changing trains from the Red line to the Blue. I heard the door chime and realized I wasn’t going to make this train. As I stopped, a guy bumped into me and ran on around and jumped on the train as the door chime sounded again. As he passed, I heard a thump and saw his cell phone hit the ground.

In one motion, I knelt down, grabbed the phone, stood up and under-armed the phone 20 feet and hit hit smack in the middle of his chest. He caught the phone, and looked up right at me in shock- then the door closed.

I said to myself, “Well, damn. No one saw that so I can never brag about it.” Then I heard a voice behind me say “Holy shit! That was awesome!” Guy who sat in the office right next to me was coming up behind me, heading into work at the same time. So since Tony saw it, I get to brag about it!”

8. That’s not good.

“Working on a presentation and managed to misspell the CEO’s name.

We’d been working on it for weeks, the name had been there probably since day 3 or 4. No one spotted it cause who would be dumb enough to get it wrong? I finally caught it about a week before it went to the presentation.

Definitely one of my sections, so glad I got it before it could do damage.”

9. A lucky break.

“Worked in an IT company. Had to switch of the routines for data backups because of I even don’t know anymore. Forgot to switch them on again. After around 2 years I noticed it more by coincidence. Felt very warm and sweaty instantly.

If data loss had happened, that would have been the end of the company. And the end of my career of course.”

10. Almost a bad accident.

“Caught a coworker pulling safety pins out of a support stand for a rather large and heavy jet engine component. I had two guys under the component and she was about to pull the last pin when I stopped her.

She was working with knowledge from a different style engine, and would have been correct on that model. In our model, she would have dropped a ton of metal on two guys.”

11. That would’ve been very embarrassing.

“I am a University professor.

I was watching porn one morning and closed my laptop without closing the browser. I then went to class, plugged the computer into the teaching station, and opened the screen. I was saved by the very brief delay between the image on my screen being displayed on the teaching station and it being displayed on the projector.

I managed to rip the HDMI cable out just before I projected to 100+ students.”

12. Catering.

“I work in catering, on multiple occasions have noticed food that has managed to be packaged on site, hasnt reached its sell by date (most foods we label with a sell by date of 3 days after packaging) and yet has mold on it. I’m sure I dont have to explain the consequences of that, physical or legal.

Also one time i was on my break and the food on sale was curry and somehow the one batch they happened to serve first managed to be ice cold because some how they managed to forget to heat that one up.

Luckily I was the first person to take some so I picked it up before the customer otherwise there would have been issues.”

13. Don’t play with fire.

“I was lighting matches and throwing them around a yard beside the one that I grew up in and bf it was so sunny out I couldn’t see that I started a grass fire and it had gotten big. ( the grass was also dead) I managed to find an old oil drum, tipped it over and rolled it all along the perimeter of the growing bush fire.

If I hadn’t had that barrel I would have burned down several graineries and possibly vehicles. If it had gotten into the tree line, my yard would have gone up. Only you know about this. None of my family.”

14. Dodged a bullet.

“Was going on a three night backpacking trip with friends, it was my job to round up three breakfasts.

At REI I picked up what I thought were six packages of freeze dried eggs hanging from a peg. Turns out only the first was eggs, the ones behind it were Neapolitan ice cream. The packages were identical, only a small label indicated the contents.

Fortunately for me the first day and night of the trip we were harassed so badly by biting flies and mosquitoes everyone wanted to abandon the trip as nobody brought bug spray.

I only discovered my mistake days later. Bullet dodged.”

Whew! Those were some close calls!

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us your personal stories about mistakes you fixed at the very last second before anyone noticed.

Thanks!

The post People Share Stories of Huge Mistakes They Fixed Before Anyone Noticed appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About When They Decided They Were Done Being Good and Did Something Bad

Sometimes in life, you just gotta be bad for once.

You know what I mean?

I think you do, because we’ve all pretty much been there at one point or another…

Are you ready to hear some of these stories?

AskReddit users went on the record and shared their personal experiences.

1. Snapped.

“A few years ago I took a day trip to the beach with a bunch of people.

We got to the beach at 9am and stayed until 4. At this particular beach there is a beach restaurant and bar that has a dj and dance floor. As we were packing up I noticed the couple we drove up was still at the bar.

I asked my SO to go get them and I’d head to the car to start cooling it off thinking it would be nice for everyone else to get into a cool car rather than a boiling one. When they got to the car the girlfriend was drunk and being a bitch.

For 15 minutes she complained how we “ditched them” at the beach and how rude we were and just on and on while I’m driving them home.

Now I’m a generally laid back person but I couldn’t believe how selfish and entitled she was being and it was directed at me. So I lost it on her and basically screamed that if I had ditched them at the beach they would still be there not in my car and if she wanted to continue to be a bitch she and her boyfriend could get out and take an uber home.

She shut up and didnt say another word the remainder of the drive. Her boyfriend thanked me for the ride and apologized when I dropped them off. She apologized the next day as well.

But it gets brought up now and then becuase it was so out of character for me to snap like that.”

2. Got suspended.

“Middle school.

New kid named… Kyle was already bugging everyone. Oh, and some background. He was from Kentucky and he gotten expelled from 5 schools. He was known for being really rude, especially to the girls/ women. He was saying stuff like “women should be in the kitchen” and all that. But that wasn’t it.

He would bully everyone, think he was all the shit, etc. The day after he arrived he kept looking at my test for answers. He literally was crazy. He was whispering “I know you’re covering it. I’m just trying to torture you.” I don’t know what he had said but I snapped. I turned and slapped him on the face. It’s a bit of a blur but here’s what I recall was ALOT of yelling and cussing.

“YOU FUCKING ANNOYING PIECE OF SHIT. NO ONE HERE CARES ABOUT YOU. YOU ARE A WORTHLESS ANNOYING BRAT WHO SHOULD GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE ASS FARM IN KENTUCKY!”

He shut up and I got suspended. However after I told my dad he wasn’t mad. He was proud? He said he didn’t like my language and seemed pretty mad but said that he was glad I stood up for myself. Kinda mixed messages.

At least I got him to shut up for the rest of the year and was known as the “cool kid” for a week.”

3. Cult activity.

“Where I live a religious cult is allowed to load a van with speakers and go about town spreading music and their message. obviously it’s a nightmare, so one time while smoking in my balcony I threw my glass tea cup (full of discarded cigarettes) at the truck.

It hit the van and there was some shouting ,so I quickly hid and scurried back inside. I think they came around the building knocking on some doors but nothing else happened.

it felt good to finally take a shot at those crazy mofos.”

4. Do it for Mom.

“Mum’s doctor called me when he couldn’t reach her. She had appendicitis and needed to go to hospital (it ended up being gangrenous and she had two infections).

I drove like those assholes in BMWs to get to her house where she was sleeping and not looking great.

I wasn’t proud of it, it’s illegal, but I would do it again.

Just as a note I didn’t do anything dangerous. I sped in open lanes and used bus lanes, overtook etc. Nothing to risk anyone else or myself. Wasn’t Tokyo Drift or something.”

5. At the grocery store.

“When I worked as a grocery bagger, the bosses would have us clean and sanitize the butcher shop. It took about an hour. They could pay us $8 an hour to do it, or pay the journeyman meat cutter his hourly wage, so of course they chose us.

It was such shit work, and being younger than 18 I wasn’t really supposed to be working around that specific area (knives, cutting machines, etc.) Customers would come during the process and want something from the case, and we would have to stop what we were doing, grab the item, weigh it, package it, and price it for them.

I didn’t want to do it. I was good at it, though, so I started getting scheduled specifically so I could do the cleaning. After weeks of this I had enough. I packaged and sold several choice cuts of meat to friends for the price of ground beef. We had an incredible backyard barbeque and it cost us less than $20 for all of the steak. No one ever figured it out.

I also caused a major disturbance by printing out a custom $999 bar code sticker and putting it on a can of Pringles. Apparently when you scan and void something that totals over a thousand dollars after taxes it throws up several red flags and requires a system override by fancy corporate people.”

6. Uh oh.

“I’ve been the good asian kid all of high school. Year 12, final year, I tried extra hard to get a good admissions ranking (ATAR in Australia) final week of school we have a day called muck up day in Aussie tradition, some of my mates went to the school at night to put up silly pictures, zip tie lockers shut and glad wrap some doors.

It was going well and good until some other idiots showed up and egged the school, emptied the bins everywhere, superglued the doors and burned down a table. What’s worse they filmed themselves and ended up getting all of us caught. Got suspended from graduation which my typical asian mum was not happy with.

There was a huge petition to unsuspend us but all it did was let the local news know about us. So now whenever anyone asks about which high school I graduated from they always follow up with the question, weren’t you guys the ones who vandalised the school?”

7. Dine and ditch.

“Went to a restaurant and had ordered a pretty decent amount of food and drinks (Probably over $60).

Asked my waiter multiple times for the check, and he was always was like “Yeah, I’ll get that” then 5 minutes later he would be chatting with his coworkers or helping another table. After about 45 minutes I just got up and left.”

8. Vandalizing.

“I keyed the side of a car.

I had just parked and a family pulls up to the slot beside me. When the kids opened the car doors they slammed them into my car. I stepped out to talk to them and the whole family basically started running away without saying a word or even looking back.

I went to run my errand then quickly got back out and keyed across the side of their car before I left.

Might have been excessive but it felt very good.”

9. Getting scandalous!

“I slept with my ex boyfriend’s brother after he broke up with me by telling me I was fat and then sleeping with a girl who he insisted was just his friend.

The look on his face when we passed each other on my way to the bathroom from his brother’s room at 2AM gave me like a half an orgasm.”

10. Goody two-shoes.

“Goody two-shoes honor roll type kid growing up, if a bit argumentative lol.

Parents mistook teenage depression/insomnia as drug use when I accidentally backed into their car (they usually parked next to me but for some reason decided to park behind me that particular morning, not an excuse but at 5:30 in the morning half awake to go to work I didn’t even see it).

Store bought test gave a false positive for I have no clue what. Was grounded for months until lab results came back. Decided I was therefore entitled to double jeopardy and did all the drugs I could get my hands on lol.

Thankfully a passing and brief phase haha.”

11. Hard times.

“Working minimum wage in a supermarket. Was broke. I hit bad times.

Boss hates most his employees and treats them like they aren’t worth anything. Up to that point i was a pretty decent employee. But at one point I figured, fuck this. I started stealing from the store( snacks, fruits etc..)

I later realized that I wasn’t the only one. A lot of people didn’t care anymore either and were doing as bad as I was. I dont work there anymore. But I never got caught.

Some did though and got fired immediately.”

12. Standing up to Dad.

“Basically my dad has been abusive for as long as I can remember (e.g. he has some naked pics of me somewhere and got my sister hospitalized once).

One day, we were in the car and he kept interrupting every single one of my sentences while we were arguing and I was trying to ask me to explain my rationale (which he asked me to do).

I accidentally dropped a quiet f-bomb out of frustration, so he tried to slap me while pinching my thigh and tried to push me out the car.

I punched him in the face. His mouth was a bit bloody after that.”

13. Rotten fish.

“Caught my now ex wife sleeping with a married dude. Moved her out into an apartment. Not two days later i was on my way home which is also the same road her new apartment was on and i saw his truck in her driveway.

Instead of going home i went to the grocery store and bought a couple whole salmons from the fresh fish dept and went back to the apartment, crawled underneath the truck and put the fish up in his bumper amd one frozen one behind the back seat (door was unlocked) knowing that they will rot in the heat the next few days.

His wife text me a few days later “very funny”. He ended up having to buy a new truck because he couldnt get the stink out.”

14. Bully.

“I can’t remember exactly how old I was but around 10ish. and we had a neighborhood bully. He would try to pee on us, he attempted to shoot us with a bb gun. He always was just so controlling. Sometimes he would be nice and we would play with him, because of his sister.

I was at another friend’s house, and he came over to her yard insisted we stopped playing. We had an old big wheel and was going down the hillside in it. I told him it wasn’t his yard or his toy and if he didn’t want to play with us to leave. My friend was shocked, but I was just over it with him. He told me if I went down the hill in the big wheel 1 more time he would fight me.

Down the hill, I went and he got so mad. My friend was in fear for one he was just a few months younger than me and even for a girl, I was really tiny for my age. He shoved me to the ground and started yelling at me pinned me and wouldn’t let me off the ground he grabbed my leg and I think he was trying to bend it in a painful position but I kept moving and I wouldn’t let him.

My friend was afraid he was going to break my leg, but he never even hurt me. I was overpowered by him and although he wasn’t hurting me I got fed up and I bit his leg. He looked at me, started crying and cussed me out. He ran home to his mom. It was so satisfying.

I found out he got in trouble because he told his mom exactly what happened he got grounded for trying to fight me and also got grounded longer because I tore a hole in his pants and they were new school pants he had been told multiple times to stop wearing. He was never mean to me or my other friends after that.”

15. Defending her honor.

“In high school, my friends and I would hang out over by the bleachers of one of the baseball fields, pretty far from the quad and most of the other kids. We were sitting in a circle on the grass just talking, and some freshmen we didn’t know started chasing each other around and almost kicked our stuff a few times.

My friend said nicely “hey, can you please be careful?” and one of the kids sneered at her and said “why? Like your fat ass could catch me.” (She was a bigger girl).

Before I even processed my own reaction, I immediately stood up and sucker punched him in the side of the head. He dropped like a sack of potatoes and started yelling. He ran over to his other friends, one of whom was apparently his older brother, trying to get them to come beat me up. But the brother just shrugged and said “you were being a dick, you deserved it.”

My friend was grateful for “defending her honor” and the kid I punched never bothered us again.”

Have you ever done something like this?

If so, tell us about it in the comments!

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Talk About When They Decided They Were Done Being Good and Did Something Bad appeared first on UberFacts.