Category: Funny

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Hilarious Tweets We Think Are Worth Your Time

It can be very hard to decide which tweets are worth your time when you’re scrolling your timeline, and listen – no matter how hard you work to curate the best possible folks, you’re definitely going to miss some brilliance here or there.

That’s where we – and this list of 12 fun tweets – comes in!

What I’m saying is… we’re here for you fam! Do less searching and more reading.

Let’s go!

12. He could teach us all a thing or two.

A real trailblazer, that one. He will lead the world one day.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

11. It’s a symbiotic relationship.

As long as it’s not the biting kind.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

10. It certainly can be.

Remember that, youths. Get off the Twitter!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

9. I am howling, y’all.

That poor sap. Both of them.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

8. The joke was just sitting there all this time.

Ripe for the picking and thus is was plucked!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

7. Or maybe Trolls: World Tour.

Honestly it was pretty good, though. No, I’m serious. Go watch it.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

6. How did we know what we wanted before all of this?

How did we understand our vibe? Our style? It boggles the mind.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

5. Why do I want to follow this account now?

I mean…you do too, right? Right?!?!

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

4. This way he knows the true you.

Always better to start that way, no?

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

3. Yes, I’m sure that’s it.

Just go with it.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

2. Shut. Up.

I am totally gobsmacked. And I feel completely and utterly betrayed.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

1. Living the dream, people.

As long as no kids are with her.

Photo Credit: Pleated Jeans

I’m really glad I didn’t miss any of these, aren’t you?

Tell us how we did in the comments!

The post Hilarious Tweets We Think Are Worth Your Time appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Jokes About the Misery of This Pandemic

Hey there…

Here we go again…

Yes, it’s another installment of jokes about the pandemic. And do you want to know why? BECAUSE THIS THING IS STILL HERE SEVEN MONTHS LATER.

And it really doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere for a while, does it?

It’s sad, but true. But we have to deal with it and get through it, right?

And one of the  ways we can do that is with humor.

So, without further ado, enjoy another installment of jokes about this crazy time in world history…and remember to wear your mask when you go out in public!

1. Are you guys okay?

Now I’m depressed, too…

2. Hahahaha. Burn!

You showed them!

3. You’re doing good work.

No, make that GREAT work!

4. Doesn’t seem realistic, does it?

That’s not gonna happen!

5. Jack might have overreacted just a bit.

I mean, the whole thing with the axe? C’mon, bro…

6. No way around it.

Just wear it and keep your mouth shut. Okay?

7. The new normal.

Okay, I’ve had enough for today.

8. That did not work out very well.

What the hell is going on out there?

9. They’re working for me, too.

Been ordering all kinds of stuff!

10. This is very true.

Covid got snubbed!

11. You did your best.

And maybe Mr. Newton would be proud of you.

12. I’m pretty over it…

Not gonna lie…

Ughhhhh…

In the comments, talk to us and give us a life update.

How are you doing? How are you holding up?

Thanks! And please stay safe and healthy out there!

The post Hilarious Jokes About the Misery of This Pandemic appeared first on UberFacts.

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Tweets for People Who Are the Hottest Mess

Raise your hand if you think you’re a hot mess.

Now raise your other hand if in trying to raise that first hand you somehow hurt yourself, knocked something over, or set fire to your greater metropolitan area.

It’s ok. I understand. I’m a hot mess, too. Last week I severely injured myself while yawning in the morning. There’s not much that’ll push you harder to say “screw this I’m staying in bed” than that. But a lot of people on the internet are hot messes too, and they turn that hot mess into a hot take, and place that hot take on Twitter for all to enjoy.

Check out these ten tweets by and for people who are just like you, you beautiful disaster.

10. The customer is always wrong

Just because you don’t mean anything doesn’t mean you can’t wreck me.

9. Reset

If I could call a do-over on existence I probably would have ten times by now.

8. Take me away

Imagine having this conversation 48 times a night.

7. I don’t mouth so good

Forget it, I’ll just go ahead and never speak again.

6. Dating in the modern day

Elizabethan courtship etiquette has nothing on the internet age.

5. The big questions

I need to report this original tweet for rudeness.

4. The Devil’s in the details

My demons have resorted to cleaning up just so they have something to wreck.

3. Pain in hindsight

These are the scars that truly never disappear.

2. Time and place

Don’t forget to follow it up with a “haha, but I dunno, man, it’s whatever.”

1. Out of funding

I’m sorry, what the hell app is this?

If you’ve managed to scroll through all of that without disaster, congratulations. Give yourself a high five! Oh, that made you sprain your wrist? And the whole office was watching? Nevermind, just get out of there, I’m sorry.

What’s your biggest “hot mess” moment recently?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Tweets for People Who Are the Hottest Mess appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Moments from the World of Tinder

What’s going on with Tinder?

There’s dating and conversations and hookups, sure, but like, there’s also this entire weird culture around it. Flirting and game playing and pranking and…venmo panhandling? It’s a lot, so if you’re gonna open that app back up, be ready for anything.

Here are fifteen of the types of anything you might want to prepare yourself for in the world of tinder.

15. Duck buddies

Um. Are we just gonna ignore the plane and the building emojis?

I had an interesting experience from Tinder

14. 6’3

I don’t know if you’ve heard or not, but this guy is 6’3.

The trick to a good bio is letting people know a lot about you from Tinder

13. Crab onto opportunity

When you got the facts, you just gotta share ’em.

Fucking love crabs, man from Tinder

12. Evolutionary process

I didn’t think tinder would be the pinnacle of biological progress, but here we are.

Its shark week! from Tinder

11. A sense of adventure

Bringing out the big guns right away.

Is it even a date if no one dies at the end? from Tinder

10. A part of me

I mean, you’re not wrong.

I mean??? from Tinder

9. That adds up

Math nerds were made for each other.

She’s not obtuse from Tinder

8. You should pay, pal

I kinda wonder how well this is going for her.

She unmatched with me immediately from Tinder

7. Basic genetics

Asked and answered, I suppose.

He didn’t even get my joke ? from Tinder

6. Waking up in Vegas

That embarrassing moment when you both show up to the party wearing the same name.

When you are a lesbian with a common name from Tinder

5. A horse of a different color

This guy is too hot to trot.

She said she liked horses and dad jokes. from Tinder

4. You blue it

This is what happens when you copy/paste the same line for all your matches.

My pictures show very clearly that my eyes are brown from Tinder

3. Dog-gone

Is your mutual disinterest in each other technically something you have in common?

we both matched with ulterior motives. from Tinder

2. Rhyme time

Not a perfect rhyme, but a solid effort.

The first creative thought I’ve had… from Tinder

1. It’s the pits

I’d sooner commit to a lifetime of matrimony than matching tattoos.

Ladies and gentlemen, I’m pleased to announce I’ve beat the game. from Tinder

Honestly, I’d swipe right on every single one of ’em.

What’s been your weirdest tinder experience?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Hilarious Moments from the World of Tinder appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Who Are Definitely Having a Weirdly Bad Day

Have you had a bad day lately?

Before you answer, you should probably look at these posts. Because after you see the bizarre ways in which other peoples’ days are going, you might feel prompted to reassess the badness level you assign to your own.

Here are thirteen people who are definitely not having a great day.

14. Key to happiness

The S just hit the fan.

My bird got into every single laptop key… from Wellthatsucks

13. Olive and I’ll learn

I’ve heard of oil spills but this is ridiculous.

I would hate to clean olive that up. from Wellthatsucks

12. Urgin’ the urchins

That’d be just about enough to put me off the ocean ’till forever.

Fifty-three Venomous Sea Urchin Spines (My friend didn’t know you aren’t supposed to stand on the bottom when snorkeling – this happened right when he got in the water.) from Wellthatsucks

11. Bat man

Imagine reading this if you live in a country with an actual healthcare system.

My husband got bit by a bat who found its way into our bedroom in the middle of the night. Here’s our bill for the rabies vaccination with insurance. from Wellthatsucks

10. Beauty and the beach

Oh Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream…

Tried to get a beach sunrise photo. Noticed the sand "art" when editing said photo. from Wellthatsucks

 

9. Degree of difficulty

Make sure you’ve got all the info for your calculations.

When you are from Arizona and think 70 degrees on the beach in Cali doesnt require sunscreen. I. Hurt. from Wellthatsucks

8. Get to the point

There’s something extremely tragic about this but I can’t put my finger on it.

Just picked up the game today…super excited to play. Fell and broke my finger shortly after getting home with it. Fml. from Wellthatsucks

7. Sock it to me

And so begins the walk of shame back home.

Drove 45 mins to the store thinking I had my mask in my pocket. It was a baby sock. from Wellthatsucks

6. The medium is the message

I know that Chick-fil-A has been the subject of a lot of controversy already, but this has to be talked about.

Should’ve saved the money and ordered two medium fries. from Wellthatsucks

 

5. A breath of fresh air

It said “eau de toilette” right on the bottle, what was I supposed to do?

When the perfume you bought your wife for Christmas ends up in the toilet as “air freshener”. from Wellthatsucks

4. Desperate times

We’re still living in a dumpster fire but at least we’re not dealing with this nonsense anymore.

My “bounty” paper towels finally showed up that I ordered at the beginning of quarantine in March for 45 bucks before shipping from Wellthatsucks

3. The hits keep on comin’

Oh quit whining about it, you sound like a broken record.

There are only 100 vinyls of this album and the postal service broke mine in half from Wellthatsucks

2. Fit for a queen

Cinderella’s step sisters be like:

The dangers of online shopping. from Wellthatsucks

1. Poo to you too

That dog knows exactly what he’s doing.

Owner should be ashamed for leaving this dog in a car. But I’m hoping that poo sinks deep into the upholstery for good stinky messy measure. from Wellthatsucks

If you’re the kind of sadist who can’t get enough of this stuff, there’s an endless supply over at r/Wellthatsucks.

What’s been the weirdest “bad day” thing to happen to you lately?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Who Are Definitely Having a Weirdly Bad Day appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 of the Best Takes on Thor: Ragnarok

Do you remember Thor: Ragnarok?

Almost feels like lifetimes ago now, but it’s been just a few years since the wild and hilarious addition to the MCU came to us courtesy of director Taika Waititi. It was a smash hit, making back about five times its budget and earning over 90% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Disney has always been smart with the Marvel franchise, and that includes course corrections when needed. The Thor installments up to that point had been just a little too heavy and somber – the colorama Goldblum-blessed feast of Ragnarok turned that around quick, and the internet noticed.

Of course, you can’t talk fandom without talking Tumblr. Here are just a few of the best Tumblr fan takes on the film.

15. Absolutely Shakespearean

Turns out most people who spend all their time yelling about how they should be in charge don’t actually have that much to offer. Who knew.

https://lyoness-rampant.tumblr.com/post/174265243357/lesbianshepard-lesbianshepard-i-love-how-loki

14. No spoilers

He’ll just be a little thor in the morning.

https://lieutenant-ash-tyler.tumblr.com/post/169125855529/loki-stabs-thor-thor

13. Origin stories

Don’t you judge me.

https://slartibratfast.tumblr.com/post/167903942615/lieutenant-sapphic-loki-i-know-the-passcodes

12. My cosmical romance

He’s downright chipper by comparison.

https://wesawbears.tumblr.com/post/169428542144/merianymerosmartell-we-all-thought-loki-was-the

11. Green with envy

Something’s not right here.

https://theluckiestclover.tumblr.com/post/169701106876/trickerydickerydock-i-am-diana-odin-hey

10. Heavy times

I’m on my way there too, bud.

https://drbennedict.tumblr.com/post/173884827251/rvancoogler-thegestianpoet-thegestianpoet

9. Yeet and repeat

Help comes in many forms.

https://bi-steverogers.tumblr.com/post/172313219560/thor-oh-we-should-do-get-help-peter-whats-get

8. Dereliction of duty

Trust fund kids. They’re all the same.

https://flange5.tumblr.com/post/167957504966/hottest-of-hot-takes-heimdall-is-literally-the

7. One more thing

Yup, that’s it that’s the vibe.

https://yawpkatsi.tumblr.com/post/172724545972/insomniac-arrest-alcoholic-with-a-heart-of-gold

6. Righteous retcon

On that subject of course corrections…

https://starshipsandmixtapes.tumblr.com/post/167730568676/i-forgot-to-mention-what-i-love-most-about

5. Friendly fire

I’d probably be Hulk.

https://swingsetindecember.tumblr.com/post/159437832652/batmanisagatewaydrug-on-a-scale-of-steve-rogers

4. Heavenly education

Wait ’till he gets to the part about comic books.

https://brieslarsons.tumblr.com/post/169134355446/marvel-wheres-my-ten-minute-video-of-thor

3. Meet the master

That’s my secret cap, I’m always confused.

https://ohthisismuchworse.tumblr.com/post/169482455885/i-almost-wish-that-thor-and-bruce-were-captured-by

2. What could have been

You gotta at least shoot this for the Bluray, I mean come on.

https://actual-jamespotter.tumblr.com/post/168229621198/i-fell-down-a-hole-of-reading-stuff-about-this

1. From the page

Finally, some screenplay excerpts for your enjoyment.

https://i-stole-a-time-lord.tumblr.com/post/170168529487/some-highlights-of-the-thor-ragnarok-script

For me, Endgame may hold the crown of best overall MCU movie forever, but this one’s in the top 5 for sure. An absolute blast.

What’s your favorite MCU flick? What’s your least favorite?

Tell us in the comments.

The post 15 of the Best Takes on Thor: Ragnarok appeared first on UberFacts.

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Truly Bizarre Meals That Made Us Feel Very Uncomfortable

If you are squeamish or you have a weak stomach, you might want to avert your eyes from the photos below…or at least do that thing where you look through your fingers like you do when you watch a scary movie.

Because these photos are disturbing. And weird. And creepy.

No, they’re not snapshots of anything bloody or gory…they’re really bizarre meals that people threw together for some reason…and we’re really not sure why.

So take a few deep breaths, summon up your courage, and dive into these gross and disturbing meals.

Don’t say we didn’t warn you…

1. Beans on pizza?

Eat up, friends!

2. That looks disgusting.

Don’t you agree?

3. Perfect for those hot summer days!

The kids will love it!

Found this gem. from shittyfoodporn

4. Now I’m STARVING.

This will hit the spot.

Mmm a banana fish salad. from shittyfoodporn

5. It has a very nice texture to it.

Pack it and bring it to work!

The crunch factor from shittyfoodporn

6. My eyes are burning!

And so will your stomach if you try this!

I had dough left over from the pizza I made earlier but no sauce so I had to improvise, its edam tuna and turkey slices and I had it with ketchup from shittyfoodporn

7. Oreos and pickles, anyone?

The perfect combination.

8. OH MY GOD.

No way, no how.

View this post on Instagram

Sábado no sul do mundo e o receitas “NAMARIA by Sou Meliê” dessa semana vai te ajudar a fazer aquela jantinha marota pra agradar x crush nessa noite!!! Aprenda a fazer o famoso e inigualável temaki miojo! Para essa receita você vai precisar de um miojo, mortadela (é igual a mortandela, tá?!) um pacote de molho pronto e queijo ralado! Pegue uma panela, coloque água e espere ferver! Ferveu a água?! Coloque o miojo e espere 5 minutos (não fica pronto em 3 minutos nunca essa coisa)! Pegue um prato e coloque uma fatia de mortadela! Coloque o miojo em cima da mortadela, enrole fazendo um cone, coloque um pouco de molho e decore com queijo ralado! Harmonize com vinho de garrafão Carreteiro, kisuco de tutti frutti, Jamel, vodka com canela e licor de morango! Se está de dieta, harmonize com água com gás, chá de carqueja, leite quente com mel e suco de caju! Dica do Sou Meliê: cebolinha e salsicha (picados) por cima do queijo ralado para decorar essa iguaria! Tire uma foto bem bacanuda e use a #sushiman #euquefiz #jantarzinromantico e ostente!!! . . . #soumeliê #sómeliê #badinfluence #beerinstagram #beersommelier #beerinfluencer #beermeme #beer #bier #cervejaartesanal #best #bestoftheday #beeroftheday #beerlove #beercraft #bebamenosbebamelhor #cerveja #receitas #receitassaudaveis #masterchef #mestredosabor #sabado #frio #friozinho #sushi #sushilovers #temaki

A post shared by Sou Meliê de Bebidas (@sou_melie_) on

9. This will ruin any kid’s day.

Or any kid’s life, come to think of it.

10. Sweet noodles…

Get that outta here!

I just wanna pasta and candy at same time so ….I did sweet noodles from shittyfoodporn

11. Sushi and chili.

I guess there are worse things out there.

12. Pea-nut butter.

Get it?!?!

13. It didn’t have to be this way…

I’m very upset about this.

Yikes!

I hope I don’t have to actually eat any of those meals anytime soon, know what I’m saying?

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comment, tell us about some of the grossest and most bizarre meals you’ve ever had the displeasure to experience in your life.

Let’s get weird, friends!

The post Truly Bizarre Meals That Made Us Feel Very Uncomfortable appeared first on UberFacts.

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Memes That Are on the Money About Life in 2020

The economy is all over the place and things are looking pretty sketchy right about now.

I’m no expert in these matters but I propose a solution: let’s turn to a meme-based economy. Like cryptocurrencies, except not like that at all, because I honestly don’t understand how those work.

What I’m saying is let’s start treating memes like money and it’ll probably go great! Even if it doesn’t, we’ll have all these memes to laugh at, which will distract us from how not-great everything went. You can’t lose.

To give you an idea of how this would go, I’ve gathered twelve completely random memes and assigned a currency conversion calculation to let you know what I think they’re worth.

12. Mind on my money

Meme value: $1.00

Via: someecards

11. Gettin’ chipped, gotta dip

Meme value: $4.79, the retail price of a family sized bag.

Via: someecards

10. Pupper slumber

Meme value: $4 and gentle pats on the head.

Via: someecards

9. All in the phrasing

Meme value: $2 and the wisdom to know who not to screw with.

Via: someecards

8. Killing it

Meme value: the college fund your parents didn’t end up having to spend on you.

Via: someecards

7. Die laughing

Meme value: your life.

Via: someecards

6. Pain by numbers

Meme value: the price of a set of permanent markers and even more permanent emotional scarring.

Via: someecards

5. Chill pills

Meme value: $50, or a $10 copay with insurance.

Via: someecards

4. I scream

Meme value: priceless.

Via: someecards

3. Phony phone time

Meme value: dog.

Via: someecards

2. Follow your memes

Meme value: an $8 take and bake pizza.

Via: someecards

1. The grudge

Meme value: a forest worth of burn books.

Via: someecards

Some critics have claimed that my system of memes as currency “makes no sense,” and “is wildly inconsistent.” But to them I say – that’s never stopped us before.

Do you think we should replace money with memes? Why or why not?

Tell us your scholarly opinion in the comments.

The post Memes That Are on the Money About Life in 2020 appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Posts About the Many Joys of Having Kids or Something Like That

Have kids, they said…it’ll be fun, they said…were they right, though?

Well, here we are, parents, and what do you have to say for yourselves NOW?

Are you having fun? We kid, we kid…we know your kiddos are the light of your life, but still…you have to admit that they tend to drive you insane.

Especially during this pandemic when we’re all forced to be on top of each other 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Am I right, or am I right?

I think I’m right.

So why don’t you take a much-needed break, go to a quiet place, and enjoy these memes before the madness starts all over again…because we all know that it’s coming.

1. They’re not great at it.

Learn to hide better! Jeez!

Photo Credit: The Chive

2. This is who I am.

Deal with it!

Photo Credit: The Chive

3. That was incredible!

How did you do that?!?!

Photo Credit: The Chive

4. This is gonna be ugly.

Ummmm, where do I start?

Photo Credit: The Chive

5. What are you doing in here?

This room is now off limits!

Photo Credit: The Chive

6. Can I have a little space, please?

In other words, out of my face!

Photo Credit: The Chive

7. Not gonna happen!

It’s going to be a very long day.

Photo Credit: The Chive

8. Are you sure about that?

Your body language is telling me otherwise.

Photo Credit: The Chive

9. Thanks a lot, Grandma.

Now they’ll be up for three days straight.

Photo Credit: The Chive

10. I guess I’ll sleep on the floor…

You don’t have a choice.

Photo Credit: The Chive

11. Laying out their case.

Ain’t that the truth?

Photo Credit: The Chive

12. Don’t do this!

Under any circumstances!

Photo Credit: The Chive

13. Take your time…

What’s taking you so long!

Photo Credit: The Chive

14. It might be a while.

So don’t hold your breath.

Photo Credit: The Chive

Now it’s your turn.

Have your kids been driving you crazy lately? What have they been doing to get on your last nerve?

Talk to us in the comments!

The post Hilarious Posts About the Many Joys of Having Kids or Something Like That appeared first on UberFacts.

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Very Funny Tweets That You May Have Missed

It can be hard to navigate Twitter sometimes.

There’s so much content flying at you from all directions that you don’t know what to focus on. But that’s where we come in!

We like to find hilarious tweets for you to enjoy so you can block out all the excess noise and zone in on the good stuff! Because if not, it’s like wandering around in the wilderness with your head up your…well, you know what I’m talking about.

And nobody wants that!

So enjoy these tweets and keep checking back for more collections of hilarity from us.

1. Keeping telling yourself that…

It does sound pretty good.

2. I see what you did there!

And I’m impressed!

3. At least you’re honest.

Old Salami Lips is back again.

4. That does not look good.

Good luck with that!

5. Cat people are pretty intense.

I’d tread carefully if I were you…

6. That’s pretty much all of us right now.

Hey, why lie about it?

7. You’re an unbearable teenager!

You know it’s the truth!

8. Not a bad life plan.

We all know about the issues with women’s pockets.

9. It’s gonna get much worse.

So buckle up…

10. Vegans…oh, boy.

Some of them can be a bit much.

11. Dad was right!

Father knows best. Always.

12. Seriously. What are they thinking?

I’d be quiet if I were you.

13. That is not a good look.

And yes, everyone is judging you.

Have you seen anything particularly funny on social media lately?

Memes? Tweets? Photos?

If so, please share them with us in the comments! Thanks!

The post Very Funny Tweets That You May Have Missed appeared first on UberFacts.