Category: Funny

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People Describe How Old They Are Without Using Their Age

I recently tweeted that I was “one of my girlfriends (named Karen) just lamented the closing of a local Olive Garden” years old.”

That’s just one example of how one could describe their age without giving away the exact number, and honestly, there are people out there doing it with way snappier humor than me.

If you’re up for that, here are 13 people who had some pretty hilarious takes.

13. It’s how we saw the Challenger explode.

I’m willing to bet under-funded districts still use these.

12. We never did feel very sorry for those ducks, huh.

I guess maybe violent video games doesn’t make you a murderer.

11. This is the eating area of a Taco Bell, my friends.

It distracted you from the lack of cleanliness.

10. That game was impossible.

Don’t try to tell me it wasn’t.

9. We admit the skipping was a problem.

The CD, not school. The latter wasn’t a problem, per say.

8. Just this picture gave me nostalgia.

I can almost smell it.

7. These seemed like miracles.

Colorful, pocked-sized miracles.

6. They were seriously so cool, too.

We were shocked and awed.

5. We all know nothing has changed beneath the surface, right?

Man, that slide burned the crap out of your legs.

4. No, we’re not talking about the television show.

We’re talking about your FUTURE, JESSICA.

3. You think we like cereal this much for another reason?

There were TOYS.

2. This seems like it was a brief moment in time.

It was annoying, not sorry it’s gone.

1. To be fair, these shows are still on PBS Kids.

The new ones aren’t as good, though.

I think I could ballpark most of these people’s ages, couldn’t you?

Give your own age-without-the-number a shot in the comments!

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Very High Quality Tweets That Will Meet Your Standards

Believe it or not, our panel of experts have been hard at work examining each of these tweets for quality, durability, and safety.

They have passed the most rigorous standards and received the highest levels of certification available in the industry.

By which I mean, I looked at them all and I laughed and now I’m showing them to you ’cause I feel like it.

You are most deeply welcome.

Check out these ten quality tweets that are fit to pass any inspection.

10. Breaking decent

Way to look on the bright side, I guess?

9. Coming to an arrangement

If you live in an apartment complex just know that your neighbors hate you now.

8. Chunked up

I need to see your data and your research methodology, please.

7. Getting a head

Maybe it’s an exciting new combination!

6. Just in time

Learning is for nerds.

5. Get with the program

Well something needs to get debugged.

4. Proof of purchase

“Will I need a record of the fact that I bought this tube of toothpaste? We can’t know. There’s just no way to know.”

3. Talk birdie to me

The longer you look at it the worse it gets.

2. Cutting deep

What if they’re deeply into making deep dish?

1. Top of the pile

And losing all your friends in the process!

I dare you to find higher quality tweets than that. Those are built to last. Quality craftsmanship. Those are the kind of solidly constructed tweets that make me proud to be a citizen of the internet.

What kinds of tweets do you like the most?

Tell us in the comments.

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People Share Their Disgust About a Man Who Prefers Water on His Cereal

Cereal is the perfect meal any time of the day, and if you buy yourself the yummy sugary kind your parents always refused you (you are, right?) it’s also a lovely snack.

This guy, though, prefers to drown his with water instead of milk.

Eating cereal with water is better than with milk from unpopularopinion

We’re all horrified, and these 21 responses generally sum up our shock and disdain.

21. Quietly violent.

Upvoting just because of how violently unpopular and straight up terrible this opinion is.

20. Short, sweet, to the point.

You disgust me.

19. I think we’ve proven that wrong.

“Opinions can’t be wrong…they’re just opinions.”

You can’t ever say that if you know this OP.

Disgusting.

18. This guy needs more information for some reason.

Which type of cereal- oats, cream of wheat, grits or other breakfast cereals like corn flakes, Cheerios, Captain Crunch, etc ?

Because there’s a difference…

17. He’s earned it.

Jesus Christ you’re strange… take my upvote.

16. That’s a bright side for ya.

Interesting.

I’ve never talked to a demon before.

Is hell hot or cold? Lol.

15. Different strokes, I guess.

This is the true purpose of this sub.

Spread the truth brother!

But i totally disagree lol.

14. We just have a lot of questions, ok?

Do you drink the water afterwards?

13. There is a better way!

literally the worst type of person lmao

i have to upvote as well, but HOW COULD YOU LIKE THIS, OP?!

12. Sorry, but receipts are required.

Can you post a video of you eating cereal with water, I just don’t believe this.

11. Just go.

You’re disgusting.

Take this upvote and leave.

10. Monsters gotta monster.

Have a preferred cereal/water combo?

Does does honey bunches of oats pair well with Fiji water?

Prob a tap man.

9. Not suitable for anyone, really.

Mark this as NSFW, this is disgusting.

8. Not all of us have the stomach for the video.

I don’t think I could watch it, I will need third party confirmation.

There’s some dark sh%t I’ve seen on the internet, but this crosses a line.

7. You’re missing out on the best part!

Yes, cereal flavored milk is a treat.

Back in my stoner days, we talked about how we wished you could just buy a bottle of cereal flavored milk.

6. No question about it.

This has to be, by far, the most unpopular opinion in the world. You’re not human.

5. We might need an exorcist.

What the actual f*ck is wrong with you. Here is your upvote.

4. We are just paralyzed by it.

His opinion hurts me deeply.

I won’t downvote him.

But I can’t upvote him, either.

3. What we’re all thinking.

What. The. F*ck.

You absolute psychopath. You insane, crazy, mentally f*cked up, poor motherf*cker. Jesus f*cking Christ.

Take my upvote.

2. Is this a dig against Amish people?

I’m pretty sure if you told an Amish person what cereal is even they would consider this too bland.

1. In short.

Wot in tarnation?

I cannot with this guy, yall. Something is wrong with him.

If you somehow agree, please explain yourself in the comments!

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More Hamilton Jokes? We Can’t Say No to That!

I’m completely ‘Helpless’ when it comes to Hamilton jokes. I just can’t get over how they ‘Blow Us All Away.’ Sometimes, it seems like I’ll just never be ‘Satisfied’ when it comes to witty riffs on the ten dollar ‘Founding Father.’

Obviously, I have listened to the cast album on repeat. But how could anyone not? It’s the catchiest Pulitzer Prize winner out there.

Here are 15 Hamilton jokes that’ll have you laughing ‘Non-Stop.’

1. That surprise double cast

The youngest child is always full of surprises.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

2. Classic America

There’s some grade-A partisanship going on here. What better drama is there than political conflict?

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

3. The truth is in the cards

Maybe this is how Lin comes up with all of his musicals.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

4. The magic of theatre

When fake beards are too sticky and gray hairspray is too tacky – how do you show an audience that time has passed? You make their eyesight worse.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

5. Spot-on character interpretation

I need a virtual production of Hamilton with Nene Leakes as Alexander ASAP. I mean, she was amazing in Chicago.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

6. Age is irrelevant

You think aging a character is difficult? Try having an adult man attempt to convincingly play a nine-year-old.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

7. That good ol’ F-bomb

Not all seven dirty words are equal. Apparently, this one was just too much for the folks at Disney+.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

8. Why do we torture ourselves like this

I must be a masochist, because I do this exact same thing at least twice a week.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

9. The text of a lifetime

We can tell whose priorities are where.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

10.The Simpsons predicted this

Man, Burr really thought he had that election in the bag.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

11. Washington really pushed Hamilton’s buttons

Part of me wishes that this was in the script.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

12. Too relatable

This is exactly what happened to me at the beginning of quarantine.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

13. The fool-proof comeback

America in Hamilton is totally Gen-Z.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

14. If only Daveed Diggs could clone himself

There’s a reason this happened off-stage.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

15. No real friends

Friendship is rough in the late 18th century.

Photo Credit: Buzzfeed

Ugh, I just love over-simplified historical almost-fiction – especially in musical form. It almost makes a life in 1776 seem appealing – except for the rampant inequality, disease, and other things like that. You know, the basics.

What’s your favorite Hamilton joke? Share with us in the comments below!

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Check Out These Disaster Meals That Colleges Are Giving Their Students in Quarantine

Dorm food. Nothing compares to you. Though I wish I could have my youth again, I certainly don’t miss lukewarm chicken cutlet sandwiches and soggy caesar salads.

With the back-to-school season kicking into high gear again, some colleges are housing their students in a 2-week quarantine prior to the start of classes. The food they’re giving them… is next level gross.

Here are some disaster meals that colleges are serving their quarantined students.

According to this NYU student, this was the first meal of the day was a watermelon and chicken salad – served at a bright and early 6pm. The entree came complete with a rice krispie treat, an unripe orange, and – peanut butter?

@bootysnail

They did not give me breakfast ? this was the first meal of the day #NYU #college #quarantine #covid #nyc #usa #uni #RockinCollege #food #fyp

♬ pour me up – badgalnini

It’s totally beyond me how that could even remotely be considered a substantial meal, let alone the first one of the day. Keep in mind, many of these students are still paying full tuition plus room and board while waiting for their quarantine to end and for classes to begin. If you’re at NYU, that means you’re shelling out at least $76,614 for the school year. With a price tag like that, you’d think that these students would be served meal like they’re having lunch at Jean Georges or breakfast at the Ritz Carlton. Unfortunately, that is far from the reality.

Take a look at NYU striking out again. This isn’t even a meal – it’s a vague assortment of small snacks.

@taratarasauce

CAN I PLEASE HAVE ONE (1) SUBSTANTIAL MEAL

♬ This turned into a trend I dont know how (Shakira- Hips Don’t Lie) – Ren Forest Roger

NYU isn’t the only college seriously dropping the ball when it comes to actually feeding its students. At University of Georgia, students are paying the full $2,000 for the semester’s meal plan. Here’s what they’re getting.

@willtv.__

I shouldn’t pay all this money to get an elementary school vibe #uga #mealplan #fyp #georgia #covid

♬ Act 2: In the Hall of the Mountain King – Edvard Grieg

That cafeteria looks more like a Great Depression Era food bank than a college dining hall. With COVID-19 delaying transportation, shipping, and most forms of human interaction, there could be a food crisis poised to strike students all across the US as their colleges attempt to resume some combination of in-person and online classes.

Think about it. Every student must quarantine themselves for at least two weeks whenever they are returning to campus after being in another state or area. That means after every summer, Thanksgiving, winter, and spring break, there will have to be a massive school-wide quarantine.

At NYU, there’s an average NYC-campus enrollment of just under 27,000, with 44% of those students living on campus. That means over 11,000 students have to quarantine themselves at once. Imagine 11,000 people who are totally reliant on one dining service – all at the same time.

If things keep going the way they are, it won’t be a pretty sight.

Here’s another UGA meal. On the bright side, a wet burger bun makes for the perfect petri dish.

@………….lolz

#godawgsbaby #uga

♬ original sound – brat

Let’s be real. COVID-19 is intense. We’re likely experiencing one of the most difficult periods of history in the last century. Surely, though, there must be a better way than this.

Do you know any college students who have gotten served disaster meals during COVID?

Share with us in the comments below.

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Predictions From ‘The Simpsons’ That Actually Came True

Who needs astrology when you can rely on The Simpsons?

The 31 season-strong animated sitcom has accurately predicted the future so many times, that we might as well call Matt Groening an oracle. Still, it’s no less shocking when an old episode from the 90’s ends up manifesting irl in 2020.

Here are 12 times that The Simpsons ended up predicting the future – for like the thousandth time.

1. We all know this one

You know how Donald Trump is president? Yeah, The Simpsons saw that one coming from like a mile away.

Also… LOOK AT THAT CAMPAIGN SIGN!!! That’s almost the damn font!

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

2. JCPenney’s bankruptcy

This episode predicted JCPenney going out of business 14 years ago. JCPenney filed for bankruptcy in 2020.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

3. Lady Gaga flying in the air

Gaga and Simpsons writers were on the save wavelength here. This episode and the pop legend’s Superbowl performance have strikingly similar choreography.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

4. Well, that’s depressing

The Amazon’s been disappearing for a while, but this one hits different after the 2019 wildfires.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

5. Now that’s what I call electoral fraud

The Simpsons was way ahead of the game when it came to 2016’s election hacking debacle.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

6. This mutant fish

This 1990 episode accurately shows some of the scariest effects of climate change. Three-eyed fish have since been found in a reservoir near a power plant in Argentina.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

7. Tiger attack

These two big cat trainers based on the duo Siegfried and Roy were attacked by their tigers, which is exactly what happened in 2003.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

8. Greece’s economic collapse

This joke that aired in 2013 wasn’t too far-fetched, considering Greece defaulted on its debt only two years later.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

9. The smart watch

The prototype here looks pretty crazy, but it’s become pretty standard to have phone on your wrist nowadays.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

10. Disney’s acquisitions

This episode from 1998 had a punchline that was a long time coming. Disney finally bought Fox Studios in 2019.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

11. Ebola

Only Coronavirus could make this joke more triggering.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

12. The Game of Thrones finale

Talk about a premonition. Maybe GoT fans wouldn’t have been caught off guard by Daenerys’ 360-degree turn if they’d gotten a sneak peek in this Simpsons episode.

Image Credit: Buzzfeed

Is it socially acceptable to just start treating The Simpsons like the news? At this point, I feel like it’s an accurate source of information.

What’s your favorite Simpsons prediction that actually came true? Let us know in the comments below!

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Memes to Tickle Your Trolling Pleasures

As much as we like rolling our eyes and calling out trolls, we also really enjoy being trolls on occasion.

When you know what someone is going to say, or how they’re going to react, sometimes it’s just too hard not to get out in front of the BS.

Which is exactly, I imagine, how these 15 hilarious Instagram memes came to be.

15. Technically, anyone can do that.

Proof. But this guy is actually going places.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

14. I mean, butt…

See what I did there?

Image Credit: Cheezburger

13. This is kind of brilliant.

Don’t be mad.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

12. This is awkward.

But also hilarious because it wasn’t me.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

11. It’s all about perspective.

They taught me that in film school.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

10. It never works that well on me.

I must be doing something wrong because Freddie looks bangin!

Image Credit: Cheezburger

9. Oh blessed day!

How many of them are bots, though?

Image Credit: Cheezburger

8. Haha, basically.

Life as we once knew it has ceased to exist.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

7. I believe them, okay?

They just eat once every two weeks.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

6. OK but seriously tf was this.

I weep for our future.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

5. I think we all know the answer.

What motivation to work out!

Image Credit: Cheezburger

4. Why is this a thing that we do?

What happened to reading books before bed?

Image Credit: Cheezburger

3. It’s a pretty solid argument.

*ducks from lightning”

Image Credit: Cheezburger

2. Every single time.

We’ve just invited listening devices into our homes like we’ve never seen a movie about the future.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

1. Is she…not?

I think she is.

Image Credit: Cheezburger

I mean…I want to be mad, but I’m not.

Which of these tickled you the most? You can tell us in the comments, no judgement!

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16 Funny Tweets That You Need in Your Life

There’s a ton of good content on Twitter, and there’s also a lot of content you could spend hours scrolling through in order to get to the good stuff.

We’re doing the heavy lifting for you, sifting through the dirt and mining the gems like these 16, which we don’t think you’ll want to miss.

16. I’m “I’ve tweaked my back doing nothing” years old.

And it happens regularly.

15. That dog’s face is just priceless.

And the caption is spot on.

14. It’s a whole mood.

And this description is pretty much everything.

13. Yeah, that’s probably what your date means.

Don’t take her to a game; you’ll be disappointed.

12. I mean you don’t want to smother him.

You’ve gotta let him know you have some self respect.

11. It’s a brave new world.

I hope your little peanut is keeping up.

10. That’s not how any of this works.

I mean, not if you believe in science and staying alive.

9. I’ve never seen a better application.

Give this woman her award.

8. Why is this so hilarious?

I cannot stop giggling.

7. Hahahahaha.

She’s not joking, though.

6. All of that wasted anxiety.

This is awkward.

5. Is there anything easier to copy?

8th grade me says no.

4. Oof. Felt that.

I hear it never goes away, so that’s fun.

3. If you’re into dark humor, I mean.

You won’t find more skilled unintentional comedians.

2. If you know, you know.

And you probably have some form of brain damage.

1. It is what it is.

This is where we are now.

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling lighter for laughing!

Which of these was your favorite? Tell us in the comments!

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Things That Exist Solely Due to Human Stupidity

Sometimes we come across rules or precautions that just seem so dang obvious, we wonder why on earth they even need to be stated. Perhaps it’s for legal reasons, perhaps it’s because at some point some person made a very stupid decision.

AskReddit users share the feelings on things that exist solely because of stupid people.

1. You would think it’s obvious…

“When my aunt died I ended up with my mom and uncle talking to the funeral home advisor.

When they were discussing cremation, the funeral advisor made my uncle sign a form indicating he understands cremation is irreversible.”

– cineboo

2. But apparently not

“When I was arranging for my mother’s cremation, both my sister and I had to sign the paperwork saying we agreed and understand it’s irreversible.

Apparently there have been numerous cases where one family member authorized a cremation and then afterwards, other family members got upset and wanted it undone.”

– ReadontheCrapper

2. As another user points out, he doesn’t get his powers from the cape:

“The warning on a Superman cape costume that warns product won’t give you the ability to fly.”

– blindgirlandherguide

3. I didn’t even think this was possible

“Do not iron this t-shirt whilst wearing it.”

– Fires_Of_Fury

4. Don’t make this harder than it has to be

“The signs on a stroller that says take the child out of the seat before folding.”

– immickolas

5. Lest we not forget the “Tide Pod Challenge”

“‘DO NOT EAT’ warnings on everything from washing pods to slug pellets.”

– LucyVialli

6. If it’s good enough for the animals, it’s good enough for me

“I went to a zoo, and in every animal exhibit there was a sign saying ‘Recycled water, do not drink.’

And you know that’s there for a reason.

Some stupid person broke into an exhibit to drink that nasty looking water.”

– 2lugz

7. I don’t envy this IT worker

“My job! – I work in IT. For the love of God if you depend on your computer for your job know at least a little about it. I would say that over 80% are for silly things. Some of the calls I have taken:

How do I keep my self from deleting my own files?

What do you mean you can not fix my broke laptop screen remotely?

I am not trying to connect to the internet, I am just trying to get my email.”

– tectuma

8. I like my Shamwow thank you very much.

“Anything an infomercial tries to sell you.”

– TheBlessedBoy99

9. Don’t be that person

“When I was in middle school my friends and I (like 15 12-year-old girls) basically took over a mall.

We were pretty rowdy and obnoxious. I know a few people shoplifted (not me lol), one of us threw up in the food court, and we mobbed a minor celebrity.

Now that mall splits up groups of larger than 3 kids. Oops. Sorry.”

– KTnash

10. Who woulda thought?

“At my workplace, there are giant containers of soap and cleaning chemicals.

On the cart, there is a giant sign that reads ‘Do NOT drink’ in three languages, all hand written.

Apparently, before the sign was put up, three separate instances were found where the cleaning cart was unattended, and an employee tried to drink the yellow cleaning solution, thinking it was a drink cart.

Let me add the fact that the cart also has a sign on it that says ‘Cleaning Supply Cart.’”

– Aarryle

11. It DOES look like a giant marshmallow…

“The tag on my pillow that says ‘Do Not Consume.’ Why is this an issue?”

– FaetFelicis

12. On that note…

“Former Pharmacy Tech here.

I was shocked that we had to put ‘unwrap’ and insert on the label for suppository prescriptions.

Alrighty, then.”

– Daffydil04

After reading this, I’m a bit concerned about the future of humanity. The fact that we’ve survived this long is astounding. Thankfully, we get to learn from the mistakes of the stupidity of the people who came before us.

What do you think exists solely due to human stupidity? Let us know in the comments!

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