Category: funny tweets

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Hilarious Tweets About Married Life That Will Probably Look Familiar

If you’re married, we think that the tweets you’re about to see will make you laugh, shake your head, snort, and possibly even cry.

Why?

Because they are TOTALLY ACCURATE.

And what else can you really ask for in a marriage tweet, right? Darn right!

Hey, let’s be honest. Folks have been cooped up in their houses for quite a while now and it’s apparent that things might be a little bit…touchy out there. But we want to bring the tension down just a little bit with some funny tweets.

So let’s quit beating around the bush and get to the laughter, okay? You can start…NOW!

1. He better keep his eyes open.

Heads up, buddy!

2. What will be it be for tonight?

You really only have two choices.

3. I feel a fight coming on.

Uh oh…here come the fireworks.

4. It was right in front of your face!

Geez…what’s his deal?

5. I’m not sure that’s a compliment.

I’m just sayin’…

6. That escalated quickly.

Things sure changed, huh?

7. You shouldn’t have done that.

It will never be forgotten.

8. You better make it happen.

Or you’re gonna have one very annoyed wife.

9. He’s clearly not paying attention.

Totally clueless…

10. Uh oh…you’re in trouble now.

This is pretty funny, though.

11. What are you, an idiot?!?!

You made the wrong choice…again.

12. The thrill is gone.

You need to get that spark back!

13. She’s very versatile.

Hey, I’m impressed!

How about you?

Are you married? Single? Looking to mingle?

Give us a life update in the comments. Thanks!

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Funny Tweets About Marriage That Are Right on the Money

I think that married folks are experiencing one of two situations during this crazy pandemic and lockdown: they’re either falling back in love with their spouses, or they have been secretly researching the best divorce lawyers in their area…

Hey, it’s a tough time!

But let’s hope that we can all keep our heads together for a little while longer until the world gets back to normal again, okay?

And, in the meantime, have a few laughs at these hilarious tweets about living that married life.

1. That sounds SO romantic.

Is this all you dreamed it would be?

2. Things are about to get very ugly.

Why are men so obsessed with the trash and recycling?

3. You have found Mr. Right.

Guys like this don’t grow on trees.

4. Yeah, that seems about right.

That doesn’t seem like THE WORST idea in the world…

5. Can we please find a middle ground here?

This is quickly spinning out of control.

6. Sounds like he’s having a really great time.

Whether he likes it or not…

7. Hey o! Here’s a zinger!

Taking it all in from up high.

8. That’ll show her who’s the boss.

Never mess with the dishwasher unless you want things to get really ugly.

9. Was it the mustard again?

I hate it when that happens!

10. He totally gets it now.

I hate to break it to you, but…

11. One more sound and we’re done here.

And I mean done FOREVER.

12. I’m not sure what you’re talking about.

Now you went and made it even worse. Good job.

Marital bliss strikes again!

How about you? Are you and your partner getting along during the pandemic or are you driving each other crazy?

Talk to us in the comments and give us a life update.

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Wives Who Are Way Funnier Than Their Husbands

It can feel like dads (and men in general) get all of the credit for making jokes and such, but the truth is, women are totally hilarious – and when ladies are cracking jokes about marriage and family life, it’s totally awesome.

If you need proof (or just like to laugh) these 11 wives have their humor locked and loaded!

11. I mean, if you want to live.

Or stay married. Which it doesn’t seem like this husband wants to.

10. There is one of each kind of person in every relationship.

It won’t work otherwise. Just go with it, guys!

9. She would know.

At least, I hope so. I guess we’ll have to review the footage.

“What footage?” you ask. Shhhhhhh!

8. We’ve seen so many of those.

Every other picture looks amazing now.

7. He forgot to specify fun for who.

Rookie mistake.

6. You know what’s crazy, right?

Doing the same thing and expecting different results.

5. Why do we even bother?

We’re eternal optimists, I suppose.

4. See, even Twitter knows.

And they’re not even married to you.

3. And definitely don’t go looking for brie tomorrow.

It won’t be there, my friend.

2. I cannot like this fast enough.

The other option is murder.

1. There are worse things.

Especially if there are actual wings for you to nosh.

I aspire to be this funny one day! Or maybe even two days. It would be nice to have two days where I am this funny.

Is it pushing to dream for three? Possibly four?

I’ll just stick with the one for now.

Which one of these had you saying “yaaassss girl” under your breath? Tell us in the comments!

The post Wives Who Are Way Funnier Than Their Husbands appeared first on UberFacts.

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Tweets About Midwestern Folks That Are Right on the Money

I no longer live in the Midwest, but I still have great memories of spending a lot of my time growing up in Illinois and Kansas. There’s just something special and unique about that part of the country.

And, who knows, I might end up back there someday…you just never know…

If you’re from there, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

So let’s quit with the chit-chat and celebrate the Midwest, shall we? Enjoy!

1. This is very true.

I’ve seen it myself many, many times…

2. It’s just the way it is.

Don’t try to figure it out. It’ll drive you crazy.

3. Bacon is life in the Midwest.

And don’t you forget it!

4. Oh yes, I know that spot.

It’s the guiding light for everyone.

5. We like to get down and roller boogie!

You gotta get on board with this one!

6. It’s a staple of every household.

Brings back a lot of memories.

7. We’re a casual people…

So don’t try to hurry us!

8. Yeah, that’s kind of a weird one…

No explanation for that one.

9. Just end it already!

Enough is enough, okay?

10. I can confirm this.

Even if it’s a five-hour flight.

11. It’s not close enough yet.

Nothing to worry about!

12. It’s nice and balmy outside.

You don’t even need a jacket.

Hey o! Those are great!

We could all use a little bit of laughter right now, don’t you think?

And now it’s your turn, amigos.

In the comments, share some more funny Midwestern observations with us. We’d love to hear from you!

The post Tweets About Midwestern Folks That Are Right on the Money appeared first on UberFacts.

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Funny Tweets About Being From the Midwest

I think I know what you’re doing here…you grew up in the Midwest and, even though you might not live there anymore, you still have an affinity for that special part of the country.

Well, at least that’s my story. And that’s why I love these Midwest memes so much! They remind me of growing up and all the great times I had with my friends.

And I still get to go back a lot, so I know the Midwest will always be waiting for me!

Enjoy these memes and please, pass the Ranch!

1. Pass the melk, please.

Yeah, that’s a weird one.

2. The classic garage fridge.

A staple of every Midwestern household.

3. This is true.

It’s just the way it is, okay?

4. Okay, buh-bye now!

It’s in our DNA. Deal with it!

5. Ope! Sorry about that!

Have you heard this one before?

6. It’s part of the uniform.

Camo for days, baby!

7. There is no excuse for this.

No excuse at all!

8. It is quite popular, there’s no denying it.

I’m more of a Sierra Mist person.

9. No need to do that.

We’re all looking at the same thing here!

10. Just can’t collecting them for some reason.

You never know when you’ll need one.

11. Don’t even start with me, okay?

Ranch is life!

12. Because it does solve every problem, okay?

No need to argue about this one.

13. I’m just sayin’…

It’s part of our vocabulary for some reason…

Are you a Midwesterner?

If so, what did you think of these tweets?

Talk to us in the comments and share your thoughts. Thanks!

The post Funny Tweets About Being From the Midwest appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Tweets to Feast Your Eyes On

We got the good tweets today! And I mean the REALLY good tweets.

The ones to make you smile, laugh, and share with all your pals!

What else could you really ask for, right?

So what do you say, are you ready to sink your teeth into some hilarious tweets? Let’s get started right now!

1. Every day is like Groundhog Day lately.

Wait, I thought it was two in the morning?

2. They sure are lookin’ good.

Wait a second…

3. This guy needs a raise.

Because he doesn’t look very happy about all of this.

4. It always works. Trust me.

About to get punched in the face? Lay this line on ’em!

5. Well, now what are we supposed to do?

I thought you said they were on their way?!?!

6. Please tell me more.

I’m all in on this one!

7. You can tell that there’s something wrong when this happens.

Now, open up to us…

8. You are now becoming an animal.

It was nice knowing ya.

9. What am I supposed to do with this?

Ummmm, this isn’t gonna work for me…

10. What have you done?

Might as well just let her keep believing it…

11. Is this accurate?

I think it probably is…

12. So, that’s it, huh?

Didn’t see that coming…

13. He’s doing a really great job.

What’s a baking sheet? Never heard of it…

Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff!

And now we want to hear from you.

In the comments, please share some funny tweets you’ve seen lately.

Thanks in advance.

The post Hilarious Tweets to Feast Your Eyes On appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Great Tweets About our Furry Friends

I don’t currently have a pet, but I can tell you that I’ve had multiple dogs and cats in my life and each one of them holds a very special place in my heart.

First the dogs: Quincy with a chubby Cocker Spaniel with a mean streak. Bailey was a delightful Golden Retriever with a great personality, and Bianca was another Cocker Spaniel we had but she was very timid and nervous all the time.

And then, on the feline side, we had a cat named Mr. Whiskers. He was a stray who started showing up on our porch and never left, and then we had Esmeralda, a beautiful Lynx Point who used to like to torment the dogs in the house.

I miss all of them so much!

In the spirit of all our pets past and present, let’s enjoy some great memes about our best friends. Take a look!

1. The cutest lil’ paws in the whole world.

Well, just look at that…

2. It’s all worth it.

You go ahead and sleep anywhere you want.

3. This dog is playing some mind games.

And I think he might be a secret agent.

4. We’ll get you some more treats very soon.

Don’t look at me that way!

5. You’re back again?

To be honest with you, I could’ve used some more alone time.

6. This pug is amazing.

Who else out there is living the Pug Life?

7. Hopefully, your cat will cheer you up.

Or she’ll turn against you because you messed with her breakfast.

8. This is the kind of content I need right now.

Who’s with me?

9. The look of love.

No doubt about it, you have a new best friend for life.

10. It’s time for another nap.

Oh, to have a dog’s life…

11. I’m 100% on board with this.

Yes, it’s all that really matters.

Now it’s your turn!

In the comments, share some photos of your dogs and cats and introduce us to them.

We’d love to meet all of them!

The post People Share Great Tweets About our Furry Friends appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Dog and Cat Tweets That We Think You’ll Want to See

If there’s one thing we can count on during these bleak times, it’s how much we can rely on our pets to make us happy.

They’re wild, they’re crazy, and they bring so much joy into our lives. And even when we get frustrated with them, you all know they’re still our best buddies in the world.

You know that there’s no doubt about that, friends!

So what do you say we celebrate our furry friends with some great dog and cat tweets?

I thought you’d say YES! Let’s take a look!

1. It’s his special superpower.

Here comes Lobster again!

2. Where did I go wrong in life?

Hang in there, Charlie!

3. A nice effort.

He’ll get the hang of it!

4. Look at this pair!

Best friends forever! I love it!

5. Yeah, I guess you’re right…

You have no choice but to agree.

6. You don’t want to cross this pack.

They mean business. So don’t mess around.

7. This is a perfectly normal conversation to have.

And I’d like to know what you came up with.

8. Okay, I’m ready to eat!

You have a new alarm clock.

9. You need to get to the bottom of this.

What are you trying to prove?!?!

10. The cat overdid it again…

You need to take it down a notch.

11. That’s a much better idea.

And that’s using your head!

12. Your vet is right.

That is a good-looking pooch.

13. They’re all unique.

And they’re all crazy…

We love this kind of stuff!

And now we want more…

In the comments, share some photos of your dogs and cats with us.

We’d love to meet ’em!

The post Hilarious Dog and Cat Tweets That We Think You’ll Want to See appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share Funny Tweets That We Think Are Totally Choice

Hey there, stranger, I haven’t you in a while.

Where have you been? How are the kids and your family?

That’s great! Now, enough about you and back to me, okay?

I called you here today so you can enjoy these hilarious tweets that will bring some much-needed laughter into your life.

Are you on board with that? Was I correct to assume that you needed some major smiles right about now?

Well, let’s quit the small talk, then! Enjoy!

1. Don’t blame that on me!

Don’t you remember what I said…?

2. This was always a great feeling.

You were THE BOSS for a minute there.

3. People, take note of this.

This is how you get ahead in the workplace.

4. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Just once in a while?

5. Oh…sorry about that.

Welp, I guess that one is my fault. Now, let’s move on.

6. Hahahaha. This is good.

And yes, eavesdropping is a great skill to have.

7. There’s such thing as a dream job?

I’m not sure I understand…

8. This is a total Dad move.

You know they’re gonna go above and beyond.

9. That’s pretty intense.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

10. This dog is on top of it.

Also, I want to own this dog.

11. Yeah, it never quite works out that way, does it?

Darnit, not again!

Those are hilarious! Oh, yeah!

And now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, share some stuff you’ve seen on social media that made you laugh lately. Thanks a lot!

The post People Share Funny Tweets That We Think Are Totally Choice appeared first on UberFacts.

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Hilarious Tweets That Are Just for You, Because You’re Worth It

Hey, you!

Yeah, you!

Don’t tell anyone else because we don’t want to make them jealous, but these tweets are for you and ONLY FOR YOU to enjoy.

We figured you could use a few laughs, so we put together this nice little collection of funny posts especially for YOU.

Are you ready to take a look? Let’s get it on!

1. Seriously, what’s the point?

Can anyone explain this to me? Please?

2. It’s a wild world we live in.

Some people got it. Some people don’t.

3. I think we’ve had just about enough of that.

I’m tired of it getting dark at 4:30. Anyone else?

4. Let’s keep it going.

No negativity allowed there.

5. That wasn’t supposed to happen!

Now how can I escape reality?

6. Oh, yes, it does.

This is the best Craigslist ad of all time. Believe it!

7. That’s the new national anthem.

You didn’t hear that they changed it?

8. This is peak existence for a lot of people.

Someone needs to figure out how to do this for everyone.

9. You shouldn’t have said that!

I think you might have jinxed us.

10. Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

You gotta do those morning stretches!

11. I’m with you on that one!

It’s not gonna happen!

12. It’s really as easy as that.

Seems like a pretty fair deal.

13. The best pick-up line of all time.

I’d like to know if this works.

14. This guy is hilarious.

Keep these coming, please!

Okay, now you’re up!

In the comments, share some funny tweets you’ve seen lately that have made you laugh.

Please and thank you!

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