Category: funny parenting tweets

Posted on

These Parents Are Willing to Tell It Like It Is

The good, the bad, the ugly – raising children has all of it, oftentimes in the same day (or the same hour). And while it’s fun and sweet to read about the happy times, the truth is, sometimes it can make you feel badly about your own failures.

These 13 parents, though, are willing to honestly – and hilariously – give us the honest takes on the days that just don’t go as we’d hoped.

13. You gotta keep your claws sharp.

I promise some day you’re going to need them.

12. That’s a fun game.

For about five minutes.

11. It’s reasonable at this point.

Daydreaming is encouraged.

10. By quite a margin, I would imagine.

That’s a record you’re not going to break.

9. I’m surprised it took this long.

Girlfriend puts up with a lot.

8. Round trip will cost you extra.

Savvy kid.

7. It’s like it’s your first day.

The fear and the confusion all over again.

6. I honestly don’t see the difference.

Anything goes these days.

5. And with your own kid you have no one to blame but yourself.

It’s true. You know it.

4. The devil you know and all of that.

Don’t rock the boat.

3. The bathroom is not yours.

Nothing is yours, tbh.

2. Just wait, you little imp.

Then you find out you weren’t letting her win.

1. He’s not wrong.

It’s a sad state of affairs.

The great thing about being a parent is that you can always try again tomorrow.

Keep trying friends, just stay in the game and eventually, you’ll win.

Or something like that.

The post These Parents Are Willing to Tell It Like It Is appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Parenting Tweets You Don’t Want to Miss

If you’re wondering if you’re the only person out there with crazy kids, a life that always feels up in the air, and a job that just won’t quit – in the year on steroids – you’re definitely not.

And if you need proof, let me offer up these 14 parents who are hilariously muddling through it all, just like the rest of us.

14. It’s important to be practical.

I approve of this parenting tactic.

13. Just living the dream here, people.

The things no one tells you, I swear.

12. Given the current state of the world, they’re learning it sooner.

Dammit.

11. This child is going places.

Not sure where yet; have to wait and see.

10. They weren’t bothering you though.

I fail to see the issue.

9. Never rob a house with young kids.

Or older kids parents don’t have money or nice things lol.

8. Hey, you gotta ask for what you want.

Otherwise you won’t get it for sure.

7. A “miracle.” Sure.

Let’s go with that.

6. Otherwise you could be taken straight jail.

I don’t make the rules, guys.

5. You can say you’ve had your workout today.

Now go and get a glass of wine.

4. She handled that about as well as can be expected.

Which is to say, probably laughing herself to death.

3. It’s never really what you expect on any given day.

That keeps it interesting, I suppose.

2. Kid has your number.

That’s what you get for raising him right.

1. But seriously don’t do this.

It’s terrible advice.

I’m definitely feeling more at home in my zany life!

What’s the silliest happening at your house since all of this started? We’d love to hear the story in the comments!

The post Parenting Tweets You Don’t Want to Miss appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

These Parenting Tweets Hit All the Right Notes

Here’s the thing about parenting tweets: just when you think you’ve seen all of them, and there will never be more that impress you or make you laugh, someone proves you wrong.

Or in the case of these 15, more than one someone. At least, we think so!

15. And that’s just for the parents.

The rest of you saps can find your own.

14. It is a time-honored tradition.

It shall live long after your kids and grandkids are grown.

13. Those two things do not go together.

If you’re without screens, no one is relaxing.

12. If you want people to meet you where you are…

Everyone should bring earplugs.

11. I think they wear name tags.

This is a really good question though.

10. It’s technically the same thing.

A mean teacher would still mark it wrong on a test, though.

9. He might as well join the fray.

He’s no less informed than Karen from high school drill team.

8. All necessary school supplies if you ask me.

Or anyone else attempting this feat.

7. How to be a Queen, 101.

She’s being taught well.

6. You definitely can’t answer those in a minute.

Or even in a week.

5. That pretty much sums it up.

They’re cute though.

4. Everyone knows this will happen.

Everyone who has ever been inside an elementary school, anyway.

3. Mothers do not get enough breaks.

Especially not in the current scenarios.

2. Decompression takes time.

You can’t rush these things.

1. Bless her heart.

This made me snort-laugh.

 

One of my parenting goals is to one day make one of these lists!

What’s the best tweet you ever made about parenting? Share it with us in the comments!

The post These Parenting Tweets Hit All the Right Notes appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Here Are Some of the Best Tweets From Parents We’ve Seen in a While

Parents have some of the best Twitter accounts – at least, that’s what I think now that I’m a parent. We just love to congregate and tell war stories and reassure one another that yes, it’s definitely a phase (because it’s always a phase!).

If that sounds like something you need in your life, then please enjoy these 14 lovely tweets!

14. This is the best joke I’ve read in awhile.

And what an excuse for class!

13. Kids are gonna be kids.

Get some tweezers, teachers.

12. Probably more than once.

And if you’ve got two kids (or more), my heart is with you.

11. I’m not sure he knows what that means.

Bless his heart.

10. It’s a beautiful name.

If only it had worked out.

9. That’s the perk of being the teacher.

I hear you get gifts on holidays.

8. “Oh.”

Run if they begin a sentence this way.

7. Honesty is the best policy.

Also they don’t need a reason.

6. Kind of makes you want to cry, doesn’t it?

You’re welcome.

5. Wasn’t that the goal?

Maybe not in so many words.

4. After having two kids, I think this is scientifically accurate.

Fight me.

3. “Walking the dog” is the greatest excuse to escape ever.

May I also recommend listening to audiobooks or a podcast while you do?

2. It’s the patience part that’s the hardest.

It will be the test of your life.

1. It really is.

But I mean, it’s all exhausting, so.

I want to virtually high-five all of these folks!

What’s your favorite parenting account to follow on Twitter? Share with us in the comments!

The post Here Are Some of the Best Tweets From Parents We’ve Seen in a While appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Parenting Tweets for the Rest of Us

Some days I enjoy scrolling through all the posts my friends and fellow parents put up, their kids dressed and smiling and everyone getting along.

Other days, I want to know what y’alls lives are really like, and for that, I go to Twitter – and to tweets like these 12, which remind us that no one’s life is perfect (but there’s usually humor to be found).

12. No judgement.

You’ve gotta get your kicks where you can.

11. The prayer of the parents of strong-willed kids everywhere.

Don’t kill their spirit, they said…

10. Sounds like you’re raising him right.

You reap what you sow and all that.

9. The first lesson in “always and never” aren’t the best words.

They’ll forget it tomorrow, don’t worry.

8. They keep you on your toes.

For better or worse.

7. They have a lot of questions.

And they do not care about your vanity.

6. Hangry is a real problem.

I feel like doing that myself sometimes.

5. The milestones just keep coming.

Even if you don’t really want them to.

4. That moment comes for all of us.

There’s no avoiding it; might as well celebrate.

3. The horror.

Mom wishes she was alone at lunch, too.

2. No explanation necessary.

It’s on hand for everyday emergencies. Like your children.

1. You can’t be expected to perform miracles.

Even though you basically do every day.

You gotta laugh to keep from crying some days, right?

What’s your favorite way to remember to smile in the midst of the chaos? Give us your tips in the comments!

The post Parenting Tweets for the Rest of Us appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

If You Missed These 17 Funny Parenting Tweets, We’ve Got You Covered

We don’t like to think of any parents who enjoy laughing at other parents’s predicaments to miss some of the best content on Twitter. It helps us get through the days, after all, whether we’re scrolling while we we wait for our kids to fall asleep or trying to ignore Mighty Pups as it plays for the one thousandth time.

And we think these 17 tweets are some you definitely can’t miss.

17. Your time will come, toddler parents.

You just have to wait for it wait for it.

16. I’m sure they’ll take it well.

Don’t you think?

15. A truly special moment in every man’s life.

I bet my dad felt SO SPECIAL when I was a teen.

14. It’s a good starter list. I’m sure he’s got more.

And how do YOU know there’s no one named Jacob?

13. I definitely don’t need to be paying for a gym membership then.

I have two of them and they say uh-oh all the time.

12. Times have changed, for sure.

Some for the better, but not all.

11. This list is a great start.

And also I’m stealing that the TV ran out of batteries.

10. He’s not wrong.

You might want to watch your back, but he’s not wrong.

9. Just a little something to make you feel better today.

Even if just for a moment.

8. It’s best to get that out of the way.

I don’t care how old you are.

7. Then you definitely have to make sure your parental controls are on the television.

Because you’ve definitely lost all control otherwise.

6. The toddler will have their revenge.

You don’t know when or how, but it will happen.

5. I’m sure deep down they’ll really miss you.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

4. Literally whatever works, right?

I love that it was Spiderman’s sensibilities that did it.

3. Hey, the kid knows what he likes.

You’ve gotta admire it, really.

2. I thought that was the right way to communicate with the youths.

Was I wrong? I think not.

1. You’ve gotta admit it’s a fair question.

Because if not, she might need to pack one, right?

Tomorrow, it might be me – but today it’s not, and so I laugh!

What’s the funniest thing your kid has said or done lately? Let’s keep the laughs going in the comments!

The post If You Missed These 17 Funny Parenting Tweets, We’ve Got You Covered appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

15 Greta Tweets About Parenting

If you’re a parent – or a nonparent who just finds parenting situations hilarious – on Twitter, you probably see halfway decent tweets come across your timeline at least a couple of times a day.

These 15 tweets aren’t just halfway decent, though, so if parenting tweets are your think, you definitely don’t want to miss these!

15. If you can convince yourself this means the food is wholesome, so much the better.

My 3yo calls it “Old McDonalds,” as well.

14. They’re all going to be fine.

Who has the time to police everything that goes into a kid’s mouth?

13. Sometimes games are a little too real.

But if you can sleep in jail, or she’ll bring you a snack, go along with it.

12. I think it changed all of us.

Our immune systems are forever altered.

11. Most “tried and true” parenting advice is hogwash.

It’s given by people who have forgotten what it’s like in the trenches.

10. It’s impossible to argue with this brilliance.

I’m definitely going to steal this idea, and you are, too.

9. It will definitely work.

According to Hollywood, sunglasses are all you need to look alive.

8. Tell your pregnant friends so they can avoid the disappointment.

Yes, this law also applies to movies. Maybe moreso.

7. It is a very versatile tune.

That you will never, ever want to hear again at some point in your life.

6. Next she’s going to want to speak to your manager.

That’s your wife, in case you weren’t keeping track.

5. Most likely on purpose.

Toddlers are a$sholes, don’t @ me.

4. You have to really pull out your acting skills.

They can tell if you’re not actually paying attention, I promise.

3. Sweetheart.

S/he would never guess those things were related. Bless.

2. What a world if we could all say that.

Full of sass and mismatched patterns. What could be better?

1. I mean they’re basically always talking to you.

It’s impossible to pay attention ALL the time.

These tweets set a high bar, for sure!

Which one made you laugh the hardest? If you can pick a favorite, share it with us in the comments!

The post 15 Greta Tweets About Parenting appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Did You Miss These Recent Parenting Tweets? We’ve Got You Covered!

If you’re anything like me, you follow several hilarious accounts on Twitter that are dedicated to making us all laugh about the slog that is the daily parenting battle.

How else shall we get through it, besides laughing (or crying or drinking) together?

We won’t, which is why we didn’t want you to miss these 13 super funny and relatable tweets.

13. I think it’s just called “owning a toddler.”

I’m hoping 4 is the magic number?

12. All of those brave, clueless souls flocking to the campgrounds.

You think cooking three meals a day, plus snacks, at HOME is hard?

11. Every single time you think they might be ready for a big kid cup.

Spoiler alert: They are not ready.

10. I would have no clue.

That’s what my husband is for, I guess.

9. Show, don’t tell.

It’s the best way to get your point across.

8. I’m sure your father will take you.

He already does whenever he’s in charge for five minutes.

7. This is the way it should be.

It’s no big deal and the noise is almost soothing if you ask me.

6. I’m filing this away for future use.

Parenting teens is going to be so fun!

5. The funniest things are amazing to them.

It’s always weird to think how many things are firsts for kids.

4. Tomorrow they will be cutting your self-esteem off at the knees.

That’s how kids roll, man. Don’t get comfortable.

3. We all know the truth.

But you should keep her guessing anyway.

2. I mean, that show is pretty amusing.

I’m guessing the 9yo’s information may not be as reliable, though.

1. I’m sure that seems true to them.

Time for a history lesson, perhaps. Or a rundown on our contemporary nightmare.

This is the kind of content I go to Twitter for, y’all!

Let us know which ones were your favorites down in the comments!

The post Did You Miss These Recent Parenting Tweets? We’ve Got You Covered! appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Enjoy These 14 Tweets About Parenting

We really like to share the love with all of you, and when it comes to hilarious and true tweets about parenting, there are never enough to go around!

Parents need to know that others are in the same trenches they are – or have come out the other side safe and sound – and these 14 tweets will make you laugh, and then raise a glass.

14. Those poor sweet second babies.

Don’t even get us started on the ones after that.

13. I definitely don’t think it’s the former.

“Hot Cross Buns” could go either way.

12. It’s important to put them in their place.

And also to educate them on all things Star Wars.

11. All we want is to be away from the beings that made us a mother.

It’s not you, it’s us. Promise.

10. All life lessons are important.

Being frugal is a lesson, right?

9. And by “cool,” he means “eye opening.”

Who hasn’t called their mother to apologize at least once?

8. Always annoy your kids when you can.

The payback opportunities are endless.

7. Hey, that’s my size, too!

What a coincidence!

6. They never have any idea how it happened, either.

It’s a mystery but I guess we should have been watching them closer.

5. That child is going places.

I’m not sure where, but those feet have to be good for something.

4. Details, details.

It’s almost like he doesn’t WANT any empty house attention!

3. No, because none of the Frozen stories make sense.

Sorry not sorry y’all.

2. It is one of the laws of the universe.

And it works for anything and everything you promised to do.

1. Stepping on sucked-on oranges is my favorite.

Who doesn’t want to live in a house of horrors like this?

We’re all doing the thing, y’all, and in 18 years we’ll be the lame folks telling younger people to “cherish every moment.”

Just kidding. I solemnly swear I will never say that to anyone, and you should, too.

The post Enjoy These 14 Tweets About Parenting appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

Parents Know How True These 11 Tweets Actually Are

There are some things in life you can’t know until you experience them, and no matter how much time you’ve spent around other people’s kids, the dark and unholy truths about parenting is one of those things.

If you’re a parent, you know these 11 tweets are too real.

If you’re not, you’ll still think they’re funny.

11. Your teen will absolutely love it.

And I mean, they will hate it and you.

10. She knows exactly what she’s doing.

They always do.

9. They need water like a man in the desert.

Also a million other things.

8. Or possible his father.

But probably the kid and this is hilarious.

7. She’s just making sure it’s fine.

And showing him how it’s done.

6. It’s terrible when they work in tandem.

But also you’re kind of proud.

5. Where are the smells coming from?

It seems impossible to track them all down at once.

4. They can be really mean.

And sweet. Like sour gummies.

3. And then he thinks you’re insane.

Those little heathens know exactly what they’re doing.

2. Now that is a sick burn.

At least she’s learning history.

1. She learned from the best.

He’s not going to get mad at her, though.

I think they’re funny and they make me want to cry and make another cup of coffee.

Two reasons… first, I know these are so true. Second, I like caffeine and I need more of that to get through the day.

Okay, but enough about me! Let’s hear what you have to say!

Let us know which of these speaks to your soul… in the comments!

The post Parents Know How True These 11 Tweets Actually Are appeared first on UberFacts.