Here Are Some Funny Jokes About the Cheesecake Factory Just for You

If you’ve made the journey to The Cheesecake Factory before, you know they have a massive menu and the options are ENDLESS.

It’s truly an American icon, isn’t it? Tons of food, enormous portions, no sense of self-control. It’s great!

If you know, you know. Right?

1. You’ve been missing out.

2. You’re dead to me.

3. I’m in love with you.

4. It takes a while.

5. You’re right!

6. Seems like life and death.

7. Gonna be a while…

8. Are you having an affair?

9. Let’s get hitched!

10. Here come the waterworks.

11. Gotta power through it.

12. I need another two hours.

13. A new game in town.

14. Better than a new car.

15. You better believe it!

When’s the last time you ate at the almighty Cheesecake Factory?

Tell us about it! We want to get fired up before our next trip there!

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Millions of Americans Think Chocolate Milk Comes From Brown Cows

I’ve never thought about the fact that people over the age of 5 might think strawberry, chocolate, and regular milks come from different color cows, but, I mean, if no one ever told you differently…I suppose it could still make sense?

Aside from the fact that you’ve never actually seen a pink cow.

Then again, I live in the middle of the country, where cows appear regularly on the side of the road. So maybe I should give coastal city folk a break?

 

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NAH – this is ridiculous.

It turns out that A LOT of adults believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows. How many, you ask?

Well, according to the Innovation Center for US Dairy’s website, around 16.4 million people across the country.

They know this because they commissioned a survey to see, which found that 7% of respondents think brown cows equal chocolate milk.

Yep, right out of the udder.

This despite the fact that their official statement (and common sense) says, “Chocolate milk – or any flavored milk for that matter – is white cow’s milk with added flavoring and sweeteners.”

And get this: 48% of respondents – which would mean over 154 million people nationally, if the survey statistics were extrapolated to the country as a whole – admitted they aren’t sure where chocolate milk comes from. As in, maybe it comes from a brown cow? Who knows??

A few more fun facts that emerged from the same survey:

37% of Americans admit to drinking milk straight out of the carton in the fridge (YIKES).

And 29% of Americans buy chocolate milk “for the kids,” but really they just want an excuse to drink it themselves.

As far as the latter, I hope by the time their kids move out they can own what they like and drink it all day like a m-fing adult (who may not know where it comes from). Because chocolate milk, brown cow or no, is delicious.

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Instant Pot Released a ‘Star Wars’ Collection so the Force Can Be Strong with Your Next Batch of Chili

Star Wars fans! Food fans! Eating fans! It’s time to unite! Instant Pot has released a new line of multi-cookers that are Star Wars-themed just in time for the holidays.

The cookers are for sale exclusively at Williams Sonoma and feature a variety of designs. The 6-quart cookers go for $100 and you can choose from R2-D2, a Stormtrooper, and Darth Vader designs. The 3-quart BB-8 sells for $80. And then there’s the 8-quart Chewbacca Instant Pot that you can pick up for $120. These are special edition products, so you can assume that they aren’t going to last very long.

We have joined forces with Instant Pot to bring you a special edition Star Wars x Instant Pot collection. Transform…

Posted by Williams Sonoma on Tuesday, November 26, 2019

I’m not even a true Star Wars fan, and I think these are pretty awesome.

And besides looking cool, Instant Pots are AMAZING. In case you’re a stranger to these babies, you can choose from seven different functions on an Instant Pot: pressure cooking, slow cooking, rice cooking, steaming, sautéing, yogurt making, and a warming option.

If you’re really looking to nerd out, there’s also a new line of Star Wars cookware designed by Le Creuset, also available at Williams Sonoma. This line of cookware features a ton of cool pieces, including a Han Solo Carbonite Signature Roaster, Millennium Falcon and Death Star Trivets, and a Darth Vader Round Dutch Oven. WOW.

Don’t sleep on this! It sounds like these will be gone before you know it!

Also, remember that Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker opens in theaters on December 20!

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Jon Bon Jovi Has Two Restaurants Where People in Need Can Eat for Free

I grew up in the 1980s and was fully on-board with the music of the time, and Bon Jovi was always one of my favorite bands. Also, Jon Bon Jovi himself just always seemed like a really genuine, nice guy compared to a lot of other rock stars.

It turns out my feeling was right on the money.

In addition to his incredibly successful music career, Bon Jovi started the Jon Bon Jovi Soul Foundation to help fight poverty and homelessness. As part of his initiative, he’s opened two restaurants in his native New Jersey called JBJ Soul Kitchen where needy people can eat for free, one in Red Bank and one in Toms River. The project was actually the brainchild of Bon Jovi’s wife, Dorothea Hurley.

There are no menu prices at JBJ Soul Kitchen, but patrons who can pay are encouraged to donate $20 and those who don’t have enough money are urged to volunteer at the restaurant.

The two restaurants have already served more than 100,000 people, and, according to their website, 54% of people paid for their meals and 46% volunteered in order to eat a meal. Reservations are not required, but those who are in need are given first priority. The meals consist of three courses, are nutritious and contain vegetables grown in the restaurant’s gardens.

Bon Jovi’s foundation also focuses on providing housing to those in need, including veterans.

What the heck, let’s end with a classic Bon Jovi tune, shall we?

Great work, Mr. Bon Jovi! Keep it up!

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“Pinch of Grinch” Cookies Will Be on Shelves During the Holidays

I LOVE the type of holiday-themed food and drinks that only come out for special occasions. It doesn’t matter if it’s for Halloween, Easter, 4th of July, Valentine’s Day: if it’s fun and only available for a limited time, I’m all in.

And there have been a whole lot of these products to choose from this year. Of course, there is the now-annual tradition of the phenomenon known as the Pumpkin Spice Latte…what was life like before it?!?!

This year, we’ve also seen an IHOP menu full of spooky treats and a jet-black Icee drink at AMC Theaters in conjunction with the release of the new, animated version of The Addams Family. You know, fun stuff…

Well, I have some great news for you if you agree with me on this front: Pinch of Grinch cookies for the holiday season! The green sugar cookie dough is topped with a red heart. Yummy!

The packs from Nestlé Toll House cost $2.99 and will be on the shelves at Target, Kroger, and other select retailers.

Each package contains 20 pre-cut cookies, so all you have to do is pop these babies in the oven and you’ll be munching on these green treats in no time.

Hopefully, the Grinch himself approves as well…but you never know with that fella…

UPDATE: It seems that Nestlé recalled many of their products recently, so the Pinch of Grinch cookie dough is not currently in stores. So we’ll all just have to see how this situation plays out…

We’ll be waiting…

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Dunkin’ Donuts Is Ditching Its Iconic (But Environmentally Unfriendly) Styrofoam Cups

A lot of people are probably excited that Dunkin’ Donuts is getting rid of styrofoam cups at its locations.

The successful chain announced the move in 2018, and it is getting moving. The implementation of these changes will be 100% complete by April 2020.

This is a step in the right direction. The chain’s new vessels of choice will be double-walled paper cups that have a plastic lining to keep hot drinks warm. Dunkin’ Donuts is even going to make sure local governments have a say in how these cups will be recycled.

Customers have shared mixed opinions because the chain’s old cups really were iconic. But the environment is a good reason to give up something you don’t really need, even though you may have an emotional attachment to it.

The famed donut company worked hard for 10 years to come up with a way to solve its styrofoam problem. Dunkin’ has reported using more than a billion styrofoam cups annually.

That’s really too many.

In addition to the revamped cups, the company has ended “double-cupping.” This is when customers are given a styrofoam cup they can wrap around their cold drinks, so they won’t get warm.

Dunkin’ even coordinated a campaign that tried to make this transition fun. Needless to say, many New England customers aren’t happy about these changes, but the company knows and has anticipated people’s reactions for some time now. Kelly Katapodis, a spokeswoman for the company says,

“Our goal was to satisfy all our customers with a cup that is more environmentally friendly, has the insulation properties of foam and has the lid that our customers know and love. It took us a while to find the answer, but we believe the double-walled paper cup will please all our guests.”

Dunkin’ Donuts joins a slew of other companies that are changing their practices to preserve the environment.

And it’s about time!

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This Man Nails Why the Cheesecake Factory Is Such a Bizarre Restaurant

Everyone knows that The Cheesecake Factory is one of the weirdest restaurants on the planet. But what, exactly, makes it so strange? The way-too-long menu? The slightly-insane decor?

A design enthusiast wrote a Twitter thread about his take on the matter, which is that The Cheesecake Factory is a “fully immersive ‘postmodern design hellscape’ themed dining experience.” The thread has gone viral, because it’s hilarious yet surprisingly educational.

“From a design perspective that place is fuckin wild and I’ll talk a little bit about why,” Twitter user @MaxKriegerVG began.

First, he starts with some history: the restaurant apparently grew out of a Los Angeles bakery business. In 1992, they brought in hospitality designer Rick McCormack.

That’s when, @MaxKriegerVG says, “shit went off the rails. We’re talking VICTORIAN-EGYPTIAN-ROCOCO OFF THE RAILS.”

There’s the exterior’s weirdly Old World feel, then there’s the interior: “A world of aesthetic chaos that feels like a mix between a Fry’s Electronics, an overgrown Panera, and a laser tag arena. It’s sensational,” @MaxKriegerVG says.

Between the Egyptian columns, the wood paneling, and the glass dividers, the whole space is pretty much a design mess.

There’s also the odd juxtaposition of luxury and cheapness. The water tankards are plastic, as are the wicker chairs and the table. Also, all the “exotic” fake hieroglyphics and whatnot. @MaxKriegerVG calls it “surreal,” and he has a point.

He also points out the menu — excuse us, four menus — which bafflingly include advertisements “for THE RESTAURANT YOU HAVE ALREADY CHOSEN TO DINE AT.”

“After wandering the menu a while, helplessly, you order and the food arrives. It’s good. Not bad, not great, but good,” he wrote.

Meanwhile, the actual cheesecake is very much the afterthought of this restaurant, despite the name.

Point taken — The Cheesecake Factory is a fascinating study in aesthetics, design, and capitalism.

But more importantly, where did this guy learn all this Cheesecake Factory history and how can we sign up for the course?

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There’s a Beer Called ‘Unicorn Farts’ – and It’s Brewed with Fruity Pebbles

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Dang, I could really go for some unicorn farts right now”? If so, we have some great news.

A brewery in Maryland has created a limited-edition Unicorn Farts beer. DuClaw Brewing Company’s beer is a “glittered sour ale,” brewed with Fruity Pebbles mashed in.

And yes, there is edible glitter in it, too.

Unicorn Farts was originally released last spring, but it sold out — obviously. Unicorns are very in right now! So, DuClaw is re-releasing the beer for a second run. It will be out in June 2020, just in time for summer (and for Pride).

In the tasting notes, the brewery describes Unicorn Farts thusly: “This glittered sour ale with fruity cereal mashed in, brings slightly tart sour, a bouquet of fruits & a hint of biscuit.”

If the idea of a unicorn-themed, fruity sour ale hasn’t sold you already, then maybe this ad campaign will? The brewery straight-up filled a bathtub with Fruity Pebbles.

If you’re wondering why there are donuts on the side of the bathtub, it’s because the unicorn beer is a collaboration with Diablo Doughnuts. The donut company’s Fruity Pebbles donut was the inspiration behind Unicorn Farts beer.

Interested in buying this unique beer? It might be available in a city near you. You can plug your zip code into DuClaw’s beer finder to find out.

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These Disney Cake Fails Are Pretty Depressing

These cakes are so sad, you might burst out into tears. Especially when you consider that they were most likely made for unfortunate kids who had their entire parties (and potentially their lives) ruined by these cake fails.

See for yourself…you’ve been warned.

1. Blew up in outer space.

Disney Cake! ? from funny

2. Neither do we…

I don’t even recognize Belle! from cakefails

3. Yowza.

This princess cake (x-post from r/mildlypenis) from CrappyDesign

4. Didn’t quite hit the mark.

We ordered s fondant Rapunzel cake topper. Needless to say we had a very good laugh at peasant Rapunzel from funny

5. Poor Chewy…

The cake that was ordered, the cake that arrived star wars edition from funny

6. The Lion King is cursed.

Cursed Lion King cake from CrappyDesign

7. Not exactly “accurate”, is it?

Horrible cake from a hometown bakery pt. II from CrappyDesign

8. A strong jawline.

This Cake from CrappyDesign

9. A nice effort.

So, I asked for a Cinderella for my sisters birthday cake…and this is what I got. from funny

10. OMG.

Cindroola from CrappyDesign

11. Don’t look directly at it.

Just put it here. from funny

12. What did you do to Minnie?!?!

Minnie Mouse Cake…Fail from disney

13. What is happening here?

My friend snapchatted this to me from shittyfoodporn

I’ll never look at Mickey or any other Disney character the same way ever again…Sad!

The post These Disney Cake Fails Are Pretty Depressing appeared first on UberFacts.

These Disney Cake Fails Are Pretty Depressing

These cakes are so sad, you might burst out into tears. Especially when you consider that they were most likely made for unfortunate kids who had their entire parties (and potentially their lives) ruined by these cake fails.

See for yourself…you’ve been warned.

1. Blew up in outer space.

Disney Cake! ? from funny

2. Neither do we…

I don’t even recognize Belle! from cakefails

3. Yowza.

This princess cake (x-post from r/mildlypenis) from CrappyDesign

4. Didn’t quite hit the mark.

We ordered s fondant Rapunzel cake topper. Needless to say we had a very good laugh at peasant Rapunzel from funny

5. Poor Chewy…

The cake that was ordered, the cake that arrived star wars edition from funny

6. The Lion King is cursed.

Cursed Lion King cake from CrappyDesign

7. Not exactly “accurate”, is it?

Horrible cake from a hometown bakery pt. II from CrappyDesign

8. A strong jawline.

This Cake from CrappyDesign

9. A nice effort.

So, I asked for a Cinderella for my sisters birthday cake…and this is what I got. from funny

10. OMG.

Cindroola from CrappyDesign

11. Don’t look directly at it.

Just put it here. from funny

12. What did you do to Minnie?!?!

Minnie Mouse Cake…Fail from disney

13. What is happening here?

My friend snapchatted this to me from shittyfoodporn

I’ll never look at Mickey or any other Disney character the same way ever again…Sad!

The post These Disney Cake Fails Are Pretty Depressing appeared first on UberFacts.