Category: Father Knows Best?

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14 Dad Jokes You Might Want to Share

A solid dad joke will make you groan, or even roll your eyes. A great dad joke will make you do those things, plus secretly text your own dad, or your husband, or your uncle who loves puns just as soon as you can.

I’m not saying they’re good jokes, but they’re good dad jokes – an important distinction, of course, but that doesn’t mean they’re not funny.

Below are 14 you’re definitely going to want to share.

14. Ooh this one is dark, y’all.

“My grandfather survived pepper spray and mustard gas attacks in two wars…and came home to us a seasoned veteran.”

13. I didn’t see that one coming.

“My wife just completed a 40-week bodybuilding program this morning.

It’s a girl and weighs 7 pounds, 12 ounces.”

12. Nope. Stop it.

“I met my boyfriend while visiting the zoo. There he was, in his uniform…straightaway, I knew he was a keeper.”

11. This one definitely earned a groan.

“What genre are national anthems? Country.”

10. Sorry to everyone outside my bubble.

“Due to the quarantine, I’ll only be telling inside jokes.”

9. It’s nice to know exactly what you’re getting into.

“My daughter’s boyfriend introduced himself to me and said, ‘Hello, sir, I’m David. Nice to meet you.’

He put out his hand and I said, ‘David, are you nervous?’

He said no, so I grabbed his hand, looked him in the eyes, and said, ‘Then why are you shaking?’”

8. Oh, dear.

“I went to my doctor today and told him I was having problems with my hearing.

He asked, ‘Can you describe the symptoms?’

I replied, ‘Sure. They’re yellow, Homer’s fat, and Marge has blue hair.’”

7. You gotta love a good science joke.

“I am Buzz Aldrin. Second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.”

6. We’re all just trying to be safe, here.

“I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing. This is as close as I could get.”

5. If this one doesn’t make you crack a smile, I don’t know how.

“A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees.

The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter.

‘That’s one too many!’ says the customer.

The clerk replies ‘It’s a freebie.’”

4. Hahahahaha good one.

“I just saw 10 ants frantically running around my kitchen.

I felt bad, so I built them a small house.

Now I’m their landlord and I collect rent from my tenants.”

3. No way your 5yo won’t love this one.

“Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident? To the I.C.U.”

2. Nailed it.

“I got an email from Google saying, ‘At Google Earth, we are able to read maps backwards!’ and I thought, ‘That’s just spam!’”

1. And not just in the way the rest of us mean.

“The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that the social distancing measures could push people over the edge.”

I’m already sending these to my dad, y’all.

Which one did you have to pass along? Share with us in the comments!

The post 14 Dad Jokes You Might Want to Share appeared first on UberFacts.

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Dads That Are Making You Laugh While They Cry

Parenting can be so hard sometimes, but still, there is usually some kind of comedy to be found within the madness, if you look hard enough.

Everyone knows that laughter is the best way to stop yourself from crying (or to make your cryfest seem less sad, I suppose), and these 17 dads are here to bring you the laughs from within their own crazy lives.

17. A terrorist is a terrorist people.

We can’t let them win.

16. Spoiler Alert: it’s not pretty.

Like when you accidentally turn the camera to face yourself.

15. They will ruin anything you’re excited about.

This is absolutely true just show them a beloved movie from your childhood, you’ll see.

14. Kids thrive on schedules, you know.

Even for fighting with their siblings, I guess.

13. Better safe than sorry.

This makes me laugh just thinking about it.

12. Unless you want her to get made fun of at school.

No parent wants that, I don’t think.

11. This will not work out in your favor.

Each kid gets just a little bit less smart.

10. This guy’s kids are the kids of my soul.

Snacks are life, y’all, don’t @ me.

9. I’m not sure you want to intrigue him quite so much.

Human biology will do that on its own.

8. Hahaha what is sleeping?

I’ve heard of it, and maybe remember it, but…?

7. Time for a science experiment!

You’re homeschooling, right?

6. These are the laws of the universe.

Ask a physicist who has children; they’ll tell you.

5. Just another day in paradise.

If he’s five, you’ve long ago figured out how to poo in not-peace.

4. Also they have like 6 limbs!

Maybe more. It’s hard to tell when they’re all going for your face.

3. Neither can your 6yo, probably.

What even is time these days, anyway?

2. They say she’s learning.

Soon she will refuse to do our jobs, parents.

1. They can grow them at will.

Just sit at a table with food on it and a baby on your lap and you will see.

Oh my goodness, those dads are going THROUGH it, y’all!

How do you remember to find the humor in every situation? Tell us your secrets in the comments!

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Dads Who Have Nailed This Parenting Thing

Nothing can prepare you for what it’s like to be a parent. You think you’re ready, that you can handle it, and while the latter will turn out to be true, the former is not.

Seriously, you are not ready.

These 11 dads were surely in that same boat with no paddle, but somewhere along the way, they’ve managed to shore up the holes.

11. A cup is a cup. Or is it?

If you need a drink, any one will do.

10. You never even realized it, did you?

Maybe you even disliked it before, but you won’t now. Promise!

9. Not exactly conducive to doing the business.

You learn to make the magic happen, though, right?

8. This sounds like my boys! Or all boys, for that matter.

We love schedules around here.

7. These are the facts of life. For real.

You’re a morning person now. Congrats.

6. It really is, girlfriend.

A wise child.

5. Time for a science experiment.

We’re all homeschooling now anyway.

4. They have an infinite number of limbs.

At the dinner table, it’s like 37.

3. Competitiveness is innate, it would seem.

Maybe I can get my husband to do things the same way.

2. In her defense, what does time matter these days?

Ice cream for breakfast, 2020.

1. We’re just so hopeful every time.

We don’t vacation with kids, we take trips.

Parenting goals, right?  I love when dads make me laugh – it’s a special brand of giggles.

What about you? Any of these tickle your funny bone?

Let us know in the comments, fam!

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Dads, Here Are Tips on How to Talk to Your Sons About Emotional Intelligence

Society has placed a premium on the stoic male figure for generations. The boy, the young man, the husband and father, the patriarch, who doesn’t cry. Doesn’t need anyone, never loses control over his emotions or his family. Who shoulders it all without help, without complaint.

A man who has friends, but ones he drinks beer with, or watches the game or coaches his children with, not men he talks to about anything of depth. Certainly not men he could hug, or cry in front of, or reach out to when it all got to be too much.

Those things have historically been left to the womenfolk, and men?

Image Credit: Pexels

They’re suffering for an inability to connect with themselves, and with others, and to recognize that being able to access one’s emotion makes him a healthy human being – nothing more, and nothing less.

Those stigmas, those expectations, are slowly starting to change. A generation of parents are focusing on emotional intelligence, on managing feelings instead of swatting in order to change behavior.

If you’re a man raising sons, I submit to you that there is no one more important in your boy’s, life. He’s watching you, learning and absorbing and forming expectations for himself, for his friends, for the world around him.

Here are some things to keep in mind when considering how to avoid the pitfalls of toxic masculinity in the. next generation.

1. Talk to your son the same way you would talk to a daughter.

Pay attention to what sort of messages they’re getting from society about what they should or shouldn’t be, and talk to them about why that is or isn’t correct, from your point of view.

Image Credit: Pexels

2. Bring up tough topics in situations where eye contact is easily avoided.

This is one of the best ways to engage a young boy in conversation. You can suggest something like a bike ride, but the fact is, you’ll likely find yourself in the car with your kids more often than not, and it’s a great place to “trap” them, but also let them not look at you when things get awkward.

3. Ask open ended questions.

This help the boys in your life develop a vocabulary they can use to discuss emotions. Girls tend to do this naturally with one another, but since boys typically don’t, parents need to put in the work.

4. Model being emotionally vulnerable and communicating frankly and honestly.

If you’re the primary male in your son’s (or another boy’s) life, don’t just talk like this when you’re with him – do it when you’re with your friends, your family, your wife, and your other children as well.

5. Avoid the pitfall of telling boys to act older.

When you’re telling a young boy to “get it together” or “stop overreacting” or that he’s “crying over nothing,” you’re telling him to be something he’s not. You want the kid to be able to trust you enough to express his emotions out loud.

6. Don’t let boys believe that it’s okay to power through all the time.

Be part of the change we all want to see in the world. Let your son know that it’s okay to take care of himself emotionally, mentally, as well as physically. Life sometimes necessarily puts those things on hold, but they need to know they need to take days to validate how things have impacted them emotionally.

Image Credit: Pexels

7. You’re not there to “fix” anything.

With kids, probably the most important thing to remember is that, when it comes to emotions and developing emotional intelligence is you’re there to be someone who, in that moment, is calm and supportive – someone who can hold the feelings that spill over so that the child doesn’t feel full to bursting – and someone who will just listen.

We all need that in our lives, and as you fathers are figuring out how to show your sons that fact, please remember that all of this advice applies to you, too.

Take care of yourselves, whether your boys or new fathers or mentors or grandfathers finding themselves with a second chance to shape a young life.

You won’t be able to take care of anyone else if you don’t secure your own mask first.

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Pictures That Will Warm Your Dad Joke Loving Heart

Dad Jokes are very special. They elude anyone who hasn’t taken on the father role at least once, and make everyone else around them groan (even if they also can’t help but snort at the same time).

It’s an art, is what I’m saying, and these 16 pictures really capture the essence of the best (worst) of the bunch.

16. I see what he did there.

It’s clever and annoying all at the same time. Well done!

There's a lesson here others can learn

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Sunday, July 19, 2020

15. You knew it would happen if you just waited long enough.

Sorry, I couldn’t help it.

A good Monday morning to you-on my 100th day of these groaners. Hope it's a good week for all.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Monday, July 27, 2020

14. Give the man his slow clap.

You know he worked hard for it.

Spinoff-The Recycle-Rama

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Saturday, July 18, 2020

13. Talk about pandering to your crowd.

Or lackthereof, I suppose.

Only time that third strike whiff brought relief for both sides.#Gonats

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Sunday, July 26, 2020

12. This is going to be a show on Nick Jr., watch.

Maybe not the bar part, but.

A juvenile adult joke.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Friday, July 17, 2020

11. It’s important to give credit where credit is due.

Even if they would really rather you not.

And don't get me started about those 'fake' 5 star reviews that keep showing up on my timeline. Some of the best writing around if I do say so myself….

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Saturday, July 25, 2020

10. Idk if Dad Jokes are supposed to be depressing.

This one kind of is, though.

Many an august prognosticator predicted this so I guess no surprise.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Thursday, July 16, 2020

9. Okay this one got me.

When you’ve got a good one, you just know.

But-if you don't smell anything it is one of the early symptoms of COVID. Wear a mask friends!

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Friday, July 24, 2020

8. Dean is going to grow up to be a fine father one day.

You don’t need to teach him anything else.

Dean knocked on the door last night (whoahhh who does that anymore!) Stopped by to say how much he's appreciated my DAD…

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Wednesday, July 15, 2020

7. They just couldn’t leave well enough alone.

That’s how good dad jokes roll.

It is rare when my jokes aren't well done.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Thursday, July 23, 2020

6. I think the answer must be yes.

And also stop it.

I wonder about.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Tuesday, July 14, 2020

5. This is a fairly good riddle, if you ask me.

Make sure to share it with your kids!

I approach this with no caution

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Wednesday, July 22, 2020

4. Alright fine I laughed.

He worked hard for this one but it paid off.

For some reason I haven't heard from the Awards Committee yet.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Monday, July 13, 2020

3. He would, too.

Does anyone like Robin??

Maybe if they hadn't gone out so early….

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Tuesday, July 21, 2020

2. They’re classics for a reason.

And this one has been around for awhile.

Just keep them off my lawn!

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Sunday, July 12, 2020

1. That punchline is met with silence.

And twitching lips, because it’s not bad.

Yeahhhhhh I know it's bad.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Monday, July 20, 2020

 

I’m all out of eye rolls and snorts and groans, guys, so I guess that means we hit the nail on the head!

Which one of these pictures was exactly why you came to this post? Tell us in the comments!

The post Pictures That Will Warm Your Dad Joke Loving Heart appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Dad Jokes Are Completely On Brand

You know the classic Dad Joke brand, right? They’ve got to be terrible puns or dubious play-on-words, and inspire an equal desire to groan and snort at the same time.

Like all comedy, the balance isn’t as easy to strike as you might think before you’ve tried it – but if you’re looking for perfect examples, it doesn’t get much better than these 14 pictures!

14. Yep. That’s a joke.

Not a great one, but I’m sure Dad was proud.

PSA about bacon in the sun-or 'pig should apply' sunscreen

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Friday, July 3, 2020

13. This inspired a disgusted head shake.

It was the best I could do, Dad.

SMH

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Saturday, July 11, 2020

12. That’s a reach but I’ll allow it.

It’s hard to work “udder” into a joke.

I know some of y'all thinking what udder nonsense but I'm keeping the udder joke I planned udderwraps for now.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Thursday, July 2, 2020

11. Your younger kids would love this one.

Don’t tell it to them unless you want to hear it 100x, though.

OEUF!! That was bad but at least I hope you cracked a smile!

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Thursday, July 9, 2020

10. The “it doesn’t matter because” jokes are some of my favorites.

They always sort of surprise you, right?

I find these pups are cross breeds.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Wednesday, July 1, 2020

9. Timely AND terrible!

What a masterpiece!

Since we're stuck at home I’m taking up meditation. I figure it’s better than sitting around doing nothing.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Wednesday, July 8, 2020

8. Another great one to share with your littles.

Laughing together is the best.

This cow's butter is fly.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Tuesday, June 30, 2020

7. For the sports fans in the house.

They deserve a decent groan, too.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Tuesday, July 7, 2020

6. This one made me laugh out loud.

It’s the visual that does it, I think.

I always come back to this joke.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Saturday, June 27, 2020

5. I’m sure this has been done before.

It never really gets old, though.

She starts every session slw so her clients don't get a Cardi yak….#? #monday

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Monday, July 6, 2020

4. I’m going to have to share this one with my dad.

He will love it but hate that he didn’t think of it first.

Laugh please.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Friday, June 26, 2020

3. How have we missed this for all of these thousands of years??

I really want to know.

The guy was slightly delugional.

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Sunday, July 5, 2020

2. Okay this needs to stop.

I’ve had enough!!

I told my youngest daughter that I've basically gone viral with my BAD DAD JOKES and she said "Dad-that's a pigment of your imagination and where's my breakfast?"

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Wednesday, June 24, 2020

1. Based on the musical, this seems right.

Another timely pop culture reference. I’m impressed.

He was never satisfied.Happy 4th

Posted by TOM'S BAD DAD JOKES on Saturday, July 4, 2020

I’m definitely having the desired (for them!) reaction, y’all.

Which of these gave you the perfect groan/snicker combo? Let us know in the comments!

The post These Dad Jokes Are Completely On Brand appeared first on UberFacts.

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Fathers Who Are the Posters Boys for the “Dad” Brand

Everyone is unique but there is also a ubiquitous “dad brand” that all dads must adhere to, at least at a minimum. I don’t make the rules, y’all!

You might as well just accept it, the way these 17 dads have done, because everyone’s gonna be a whole lot happier if you just go ahead and Dad as hard as you can.

17. A masterclass in passive aggression.

Usually I wouldn’t approve but etiquette is the exception.

16. I mean we can all agree that this sounds like a pretty excellent day.

Dad or not, honestly.

15. You’re a dad now, it’s allowed!

Also that way your wife can also gain 20lbs without judgment, right?

14. Ah, gotta love the anal retentive dad!

These aren’t as common as some dad varieties!

13. The never ending dad project.

You’ve gotta have one or they’ll pull your card.

12. This is just an older person in general move.

I swear, I’m not a dad I’m just a lazy shopper.

11. There is a long list of Dad Concerns.

Also, we don’t use the phrase “the youths” nearly enough.

10. And telling people it would be a shame to waste it just mowing, I assume.

Remember that’s still drinking and driving, my friend.

9. Time waster? Maybe.

But now you can speak with authority on the subject.

8. He was just resting his eyes.

We can rewind everything now anyway.

7. A rookie mistake for a dad.

But they do love to utilize their trucks.

6. Yes, Nike makes an exclusively “dad” line.

The fact that I don’t think they’re that ugly just means I’m a mom.

5. I want to disapprove but I just can’t.

It’s legitimately funny, yall!

4. It must not have been a very good movie.

That’s not on you, my friend.

3. You’ve gotta get the most for your money.

And also make good time. Don’t forget that part.

2. Ten at night in public? Woof.

That’s not going to happen.

1. Dads never take their audience into consideration.

Honestly, that’s the gift of a Dad Joke.

I love dads. The good ones are great, aren’t they?

What’s the most dad thing your dad ever did? Tell us about it in the comments!

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Men Who Went Full-On Dad Today and We Love Them for It

Dads are a special breed, don’t you think?

They’re at once dashing and nerdy, encouraging and protective, immature and yet so old. It happens to the best of men when their first child appears in the world and honestly, it makes them a little bit better.

A fact these 15 men seem to realize, because they’re really leaning into the whole experience.

15. How else will he be able to say “do you know what our electric bill is?”

And “are you gotta get a job and pay it?”

14. Yeah that definitely happened.

But I’d be willing to bet they’re all used to it.

13. They always find a way to kill your alone time.

Even if they’re not there, right?!

12. I know what’s going in that kid’s stocking this Christmas.

Portable jump boxes are the best thing since sliced bread.

11. It’s a rite of passage.

But not one anyone really wants to complete.

10. Welcome to the club, sir.

It’s not very stylish here but we’re all okay with that.

9. You gotta make good time.

Nothing else is more important.

8. Sometimes you gotta pull rank.

Before you pull a muscle playing running back.

7. I know this happens to everyone.

But literally music sucks now.

6. My husband is currently using this line, but with a grill.

We’re making hamburgers inside this summer yay.

5. It will be years before he admits his mistake.

But also he will start calling professionals from now on.

4. It’s only charming when dads do it.

And only marginally so, then.

3. Not that there’s anything wrong with the way tween girls dress, right?

You’ll learn, sir. Especially if you have daughters.

2. This one’s a classic.

And one dads always regret but will never admit it.

1. Hahaha this is my favorite one yet!

Who does that?!

If you’re gonna do something, might as well go all out, right?

What’s your best recent dad moment? Share it with us in the comments!

The post Men Who Went Full-On Dad Today and We Love Them for It appeared first on UberFacts.

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These Men Are Full-On Embracing the Dad Life

There’s no use in fighting the inevitable.

We’re all going to age – our hair will go gray, our backs will hurt for no reason, we’ll have a tummy, and we’ll start to sound exactly like our parents.

So if you’re a man with kids, you might as well just give into the idea of being the daddest dad on the block! I mean, these 13 men have, and it seems to be working for them.

13. This is one of the weirdest dad genes out there.

Seriously, they all do it!

12. That just seems like a lot of work.

But I mean, I guess what else do you have to do?

11. Now you get to be in charge of people who might actually listen!

Of course, if they don’t you can’t send them to their room.

10. When one just won’t do.

Don’t they know we all have time on our hands?

9. Part of the dad charm is how hard they try.

It’s sweet but also she really wants her hair to look nice.

8. Ah, just what everyone concerned mother wants to hear!

On opposite day, maybe.

7. No one can argue that this is not peak dad.

Some men wait their whole lives for a day like that.

6. If you nap on the couch you can claim you’re just “resting your eyes.”

And that’s bonus points, I’m pretty sure.

5. AND HE’S KEEPING TRACK.

Are there hash marks somewhere do you suppose, or…?

4. Knowing your limitations is part of becoming an adult.

Also what in the hell is a Big Green Egg?

3. They were thankful before they had to hear the lecture that went along.

Yes, speaking from experience here.

2. Just dads being every day heroes.

I lol’d at “strongly worded” though.

1. He’s just living the dream.

Seriously, though, New Orleans should always be a yes.

We’ve grown up and had kids; there’s no looking back! Might as well lean into it, I say.

Guys, what was the moment when you stopped and thought “man I really am a dad now?” I want to hear about it in the comments!

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Wives Who Are Super Patient With Their Husband’s Hijinks

Pranks can be funny or annoying, and honestly, a lot of times it depends on your mood. If you’ve had a rough day, sometimes a laugh is just what you need…and sometimes it has you contemplating divorce.

These 13 husbands are always ready to take their chances, though, and I guess a sense of humor is one of the things that keeps a relationship alive!

13. Imagine opening the fridge to find this.

There is no way you couldn’t laugh.

12. I’m surprised her eyes didn’t roll right out of her head.

Honestly, though, that’s about the perfect amount of milk.

11. This is how you know it’s going to be a good night.

Is it a hint? A confession? A suggestion? It’s all part of the fun!

10. Someone has way too much time on his hands.

This would be a pretty fun way to make breakfast,though.

9. It’s best if they fear you a bit.

And by “they” I mean “everyone.”

8. This is how you learn to be more specific.

Even when you really, really shouldn’t have to.

7. I’m sure the neighbors loved that.

You have to salute his creativity, though.

6. The amount of work that went into this is either sad or impressive.

You decide, because I can’t.

View this post on Instagram

#marchmeetthemaker ‘Love to make’ – so for today’s prompt – we’ve gone a bit off piste. Obviously I love to make artwork. And I love to make our products to be able to see our designs come to life. But you know what else we love to make? We love to make people laugh ? The above picture was taken late one night after I grumbled to Howard about repeatedly leaving the toothpaste lid off. I came into the bathroom to see that every lid from from every item had been removed and incorporated in this cheeky little set up ? So here you are.. a little incite into our lives.. that’s how we roll through the week people #meetthemaker #lovetomake #lego #playmobile #duplo #funnyhusband #daftapeth #ohhowwelaughed

A post shared by Lighthouse Lane (@lighthouse_lane_ltd) on

5. Just a few edits…

No generic cards for this lady.

4. You know it took him so much longer to find a way to stick the spoon up than to just write it down.

Going above and beyond in the name of humor, this one.

3. This is grounds for divorce.

Also I hope he cleaned up the pee she inevitably left on the floor.

2. I don’t think they’re going to accept this at the grocery store.

Maybe at the one your kid runs out of the dining room.

1. Awww, sweet and funny.

A real double-threat guy.

I know I’m not married to these guys, but some of these are honestly funny.

What’s the best/worst prank your spouse has ever pulled on you? Tell us in the comments!

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