A Person Asked if it Was Wrong to Not Let Her Daughter Introduce Her Black Boyfriend to Her Grandparents

I think this is going to be a very divisive topic and story for a lot of people out there.

And rightfully so, because the headline makes this person seem like a total bigot.

But let’s give them a chance to tell the story for themselves on Reddit “Am I the *sshole” forum, okay?

AITA for telling my daughter she cannot introduce her African American boyfriend to her grandparents?

“Let me just preface this by saying this: I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS. Now that the air is clear, let me continue.

My daughter (Anna) has recently started to date an African American man (Jamal). While I’m not exactly what you would refer to as “liberal”, he’s a nice young man and as long as my daughter is happy, I’m happy. The problem is Anna is rather naive about the community she lives in.

While her friends are quite content to see a relationship like hers, more than a few tongues are wagging in the community and a few people have privately expressed their concern to me. As I said, I have no problem with mixed relationships and I’ve set them straight, but I am painfully aware of how these matters are viewed by certain segments of the population.

My parents are planning to come and stay with us for a week and Anna expressed a desire to introduce Jamal to them now that things were getting more serious between them. I told her on no uncertain terms that this wasn’t going to happen.

I may have no problem with Jamal, but they absolutely will, and even when the relationship ends they won’t forget it. They might even go as far as to cut her off entirely. Anna was extremely upset by this and implied I was a racist and more concerned with what my parents think than how she feels.

As I said, I know my parents. They simply aren’t okay with mixed relationships and if Anna were to bring Jamal over even as a friend, they would be furious both at her and me.

Anna is currently staying with Jamal and doesn’t want to speak with me right now. My wife stands by me given she knows very well how my parents are (they had a problem with her for months over the length of the skirt she wore when I introduced her to them, for christs sake), but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an *ss and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents.

No advice needed, but I have to know. Have I been an *ss?”

First of all, this person made a good point that this mother said “when” the relationship ends, and not “if.”

Hmmm. Is that coded language?

Photo Credit: Reddit

This reader got straight the point. Brutally honest!

Photo Credit: Reddit

And this Reddit user pointed out the most important thing: her daughter’s happiness should come first. Period.

Photo Credit: Reddit

This person argued that the mother is to blame because in a way, she’s making the situation all about herself and how it will affect her.

Photo Credit: Reddit

And finally, this individual made a great point about how racism works in our society.

Sorry, Mom, I think you got called out big time by these folks.

Photo Credit: Reddit

Wow…now we want to get your take on this situation.

In the comments, tell us what you think.

We look forward to hearing from you! Thanks!

The post A Person Asked if it Was Wrong to Not Let Her Daughter Introduce Her Black Boyfriend to Her Grandparents appeared first on UberFacts.

Many Parents Have a Favorite Kid – and It’s Often Their Youngest

Your parents may have promised they never played favorites (and you say the same to your kids). But as children grow into adults, I think it’s normal to find that, while you might not have a favorite, some people just get on more easily than others.

That said, there is actually some pretty convincing science behind the idea that parents tend to favor their youngest child more often than their older siblings.

Image Credit: Pixabay

First, let’s go with self confessions from both parents and grandparents. According to The Independent, a Mumsnet survey of both groups did indeed find favoritism among both groups (though with differing preferences).

Of the 1185 parents and 1111 grandparents who responded, 23% of parents and 42% of grandparents admitted to having a favorite. But while 56% of the committed parents said their youngest was their favorite, 40% of grandparents prefer their eldest grandchild.

Half of the survey responders thought having a favorite was “awful” and potentially damaging for the favorite child’s siblings, as well.

Image Credit: Pixabay

In studies that are more scientifically rigorous, similar biases have emerged.

This one revealed that 70% of fathers and 74% of mothers admitted to showing favoritism, but youngest kids don’t always feel the most loved. Another study, done in 2005, found that oldest children tend to feel like they’re the favorite (even if that’s perhaps not true), and that younger children typically feel as if their parents are biased toward their older sibling.

And this 2017 study found that when the younger child feels as if favoritism plays a role in their household, they were much more affected by it than older siblings (whether for better, if they were the favorite, or worse, if they were not), while older children’s relationships with their parents were not affected regardless of who the perceived “favorite” child was in the house.

Image Credit: Pixabay

BYU professor Alex Jensen, though, noted that how you show favoritism plays a role, too.

“When parents are more loving, and they’re more supportive and consistent with all of the kids, the favoritism tends to not matter as much… you need to treat them fairly, but not equally.”

Perhaps the most important outcome is from this 2006 study, which suggests the best thing to do (as a kid) is just to not let it bother you – research suggests you can’t change it no matter what you do, and that mothers, especially, rarely switch up their favorite child over the course of their lives.

So, oldest or youngest or middle child – be yourself, and know that even if they don’t love you the most, your parents still love you a whole lot.

And that should count for something, right?

The post Many Parents Have a Favorite Kid – and It’s Often Their Youngest appeared first on UberFacts.

10+ Parents Reveal Why They Wish They Didn’t Have Kids

We’re always told that to be a full-fledged adult we have to get a job, get married and start a family. And when our kids come along, we’re always told that when we meet them, we’ll fall madly and deeply in love with them.

Not true.

In fact, you even have days where you regret being a parent altogether. These 14 people show, parenthood isn’t for everyone.

1. Maybe when they’re older?

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. There are books and classes…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. She didn’t lead you to drinking. You did that to yourself. Sorry.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. There’s a lot of beauty out there. Don’t give up.

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. You can still see the world!

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Wow.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Well, that is unfortunate…

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. Depends on what you think is rewarding…

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. She’ll grow up eventually…

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. What if?

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. It is hard work. A lot of hard work.

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. But that 1% tho…

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Responsibilities can suck…

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. This is true for a lot of people.

Photo Credit: Whisper

You feel the same way?

The post 10+ Parents Reveal Why They Wish They Didn’t Have Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

10 People Reveal the Moment They Lost Respect for Their Parents

When we’re kids, we view our parents as all-knowing and indestructible. Then we grow up and things slowly change – and we come to realize more about how the world works. Some of us even end up losing a lot of respect for our parents, which can be hurtful, difficult, and strange all at once.

But these 10 Reddit users came face-to-face with their pain by sharing their incredibly personal stories – so I think we owe them an ear, don’t you?

1. The Hypocrites

“When I found out that, despite my parents ostracising me for having The Gay, which is Sinning and means I’m Going Straight To Hell, it turns out my mum has had three affairs that we know about. But that’s okay, because it’s hetero cheating, which apparently is just fine.”

2. The Betrayer

“Right after I graduated high school, I got my first car and was on my mom’s car insurance policy. After a year I had been a very good driver and I wanted to call my insurance company to see if I could lower my rates. Turned out my mom kept the policy active for 1 month so I had an insurance card to put in my glovebox, but then cancelled the policy and pocketed the money for herself.

As much as the monetary aspect hurts, it’s crazy to think that my own mom would let me drive my car having me believe I was covered. I could have destroyed my life if I made some horrific mistake.”

3. The Thief

“When I was a teenager, my mom used to come in my room in the mornings when she thought I was asleep and steal cash from me.

Lots of other things happened after that, but that was the start of it.

Edit: To be fair, they had no money. But I started working at 14 to pay for everything for myself because they couldn’t/wouldn’t help me out with my expenses. Last thing I needed was my mom taking a few bucks from me every morning. I started keeping tabs eventually and she took a few hundred dollars, a couple dollars at a time.”

4. The Favorites

“Oh… so many things.

Mom says she doesn’t have favorites but there are obviously favorites.

I could be the first US woman president and still be a disappointment because I don’t want/have kids

Dad telling me I may as well hurt myself when I went on Prozac as a teenager

Mom and dad bought my twin sister a fully refinished 67 mustang on our 16th birthday. I got a 95 Corolla that would regularly turn off randomly

During the early 2010s my parents needed money. We loaned them 10k. Never got it back. The following year they gave my sister 5k to help pay for her wedding because “she’s always dreamed of being a bride”.

Mom hates dad. Refuses to recognize they should have split up a long time ago. To make sure they don’t have to actually come to terms with their marriage, they continue to let two of my sisters, their husbands, and kids live in their house. When one of those sisters decided to get a divorce (hm, wonder why… perhaps living in a house with 6 other adults doesn’t work well for a healthy marriage?), they stopped talking to that sister. Which is hard because… you know… they all still live together.

I could go on. Let’s summarize with they pretend their lives and their family is pure gold and instead we’re just as f*cked up as everyone else.”

5. The Mental Abuser

“About two years ago, I struggled heavily from depression. My mom is one of those people who doesn’t really understand the depth of mental illnesses, and on top of it, she was verbally abusive and always made cutting remarks about my academics, appearance, anything to degrade my self worth. She broke me down to a point where I said I didn’t want to live anymore and wanted to kill myself. She told me to do it.

I ended up in foster care for about a week because my friends called because they knew I wasn’t safe with her, and she is a manipulator and finessed the system to get me back quickly, and made it sound like she did nothing wrong.

I finally got therapy, but it wasn’t family, just me since she felt she did nothing wrong. She is treating me better and learning to respect my boundaries, but I will never forget my own mother scoffing, telling me to kill myself. I will never be able to respect her after that.”

6. The New Wife

“When my father came home from a tour in Korea he brought with him a new wife. We had never met her nor heard of her until he said he was coming home. We all moved together to his next posting. Three months later, wifeypoo gave him an ultimatum. “Either the kids go or I go.” He called up our mother (I have a sibling) and told her he was sending us to her. He then called us to the phone to “talk to your mom”. I had no memory of her.

In fact a prior step parent told us she was dead. I believed her. So he sent us to meet this stranger with the intention of giving custody to her under the guise of vacation without him. Our belongings followed. He gave us back to woman he divorced and believed was a danger to us just 11 years prior.

I lost a little respect for him for placing his new wife (she left him once she got a green card) over his children.”

7. The Bad Mom

“My mom:

-compared me to friends constantly but would also use my grades or achievements as a way to compete with my aunt

-fakes illnesses when she wants attention or to guilt my siblings and I. She’s lied about having cancer, strokes, etc. When we figured out she was lying and stopped going to the hospitals, she calls family members and cries that we won’t help her/how she’s basically terminal/how we don’t Care

-has basically scammed my sisters, elderly grandma and I out of thousands and thousands of dollars. Just found out about 6 months ago, that she had gotten a pretty sizeable settlement from when I got hit by a car 20 years ago. She denied it and when i showed her proof, she threw my late father under the bus (he was a recovering addict) and claimed he was in charge of all that

-she was a nurse and when I attempted suicide, she didn’t want to get me professional help because it would look bad on her and my problems “aren’t everybody’s business”… so she just medicated the shit out of me for a bit.

Believe it or not, there’s more.”

8. The Terrible Advice

“My mom believes that if you just believe hard enough, you always get what you want.

I challenged her as to why we haven’t won the lottery. She said because she let past experiences influence her thinking as well as evidence. She then said, “I try not to let evidence influence my beliefs. I know I’m not supposed to…”

Yeah. An anti-evidence stance. :/ “

9. The Grown Child

“My parents are divorced. Mom had to move in with my dad for a bit because she didn’t have a place to stay. She wouldn’t clean up after herself or her daughter (my half sister) and she took over my brothers room and would just stay locked away in there doing seemingly nothing to change her situation.

When my dad confronted her calmly about her rudeness telling her that she needs to be courteous and clean up after herself she screamed at him and cursed him out saying things like “I don’t have time to be courteous” and “You’re not my parent”. I’ve never been so angry at another person, and although it was a stressful time for everyone she had no right to be so ungrateful. I didn’t have a whole lot of respect for my mom at this point in the first place, but that definitely made me lose any that I still had.”

10. The Unfair Expectations

“They put my sisters through their undergraduate degrees, but have not provided me with any finances.

I am not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, but it sucks that I am expected to be at the same place they were at when they were 24 – yet I am in student debt, not done with my degree & have to pay everything on my own.8. The Hypocrites

“When I found out that, despite my parents ostracising me for having The Gay, which is Sinning and means I’m Going Straight To Hell, it turns out my mum has had three affairs that we know about. But that’s okay, because it’s hetero cheating, which apparently is just fine.”

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