A Guy Switched Almond Milk With Real Milk to Get Sweet, Milky Revenge on His Lactose Intolerant Roommate

Roommates can be really terrible.

Even when you very carefully lay down a series of rules designed for peaceful cohabitation, there’s always somebody who thinks they’re above the law of common decency and that those rules need not apply to them. What’s to be done about such people? Do we just grin and bear it? Do we resort to confrontation? Should confrontation fail, what then?

A Reddit user found himself asking these questions when he was forced by circumstance to plot a devious trap for his roommate “R.”

Read on:

Me and 2 other guys share an apartment together and we split all the bills. The only thing we don’t split costs on is groceries. Everyone’s in charge of buying their own food and we don’t touch whatever doesn’t belong to us in the fridge. We put our names on everything so no one gets mixed up.

This issue has been going on almost a year and I’m sick of it.

One of my roommates, R, keeps stealing my food. I get home from work and containers with my leftovers are sometimes missing (they have my name written on it), or my stuff finishes too quick. My gallon of milk for example. I buy almond milk because I like the taste. But it seems to finish after a week even though I’ve only drank once or twice.

Yeah, he’s getting stolen from… for sure!

I confronted R about this lots of times and that’s caused a lot of arguments. He outright denies it and tells me I’m crazy even though it’s so obvious.

Sounds like a class act!

My other roommate and I carpool together because we both work the same early morning shifts around the same area so I know it’s not him. It’s always after we get back home and R’s already left for work that I notice my food’s gone. My roommate’s also had a similar problem but not as often as I do. I’m guessing cause R doesn’t like what he buys.

The funny thing is R buys a lot for himself and is even more stingy about his food. He will literally point out what’s his when he comes back from grocery shopping and tells us not to touch it.

Yeah, sounds typical of an a&&hole…

Last week, my milk was nearly empty again and I got fed up. I went to the liquor store and bought regular dairy milk. I drank what was left of my almond milk and refilled the gallon with the one I bought. This was to catch/prove R is the one stealing since he’s lactose intolerant.

The nxt day, Saturday, we get back from work and R is pissed. He yelled at me that he was stuck in the bathroom for 40 mins with diarrhea because of my milk; he was using it to make a shake. I only responded with “So then you’re the one who’s been stealing?”

What happened next? Oh… boy… howdy…

He freaking exploded. Yeah he admitted he was “sometimes” drinking my milk and eating my food but he was more mad that I switched milks than the fact that he was caught. I told him I wouldn’t have done that if he’d just stopped taking my stuff from the fridge or at least told the truth instead of tryna make it seem like I was making it up.

My roommate backed me up and thought it was kinda funny he got payback for stealing from us. It’s a little tense rn and my roommate told me R is trying to convince him to agree to kick me out. Little does he know we’re both looking to move somewhere else together cause we are sick of his shit.

I told some buddies what happened and a few think I was an asshole for that. I feel like I’m not in the wrong here. He was taking my food and not even owning up to it and I wanted to prove it, does that make me TA?

This was, of course, posted to the infamous forum “Am I The A**hole,” in which scenarios like this are posed and a sea of random Reddit jurors determine who exactly is the a**hole. What did they decide? Let’s find out.

1. Most agreed, he’s in the clear.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

2. Turns out this might be more common than you’d think.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

3. And how dumb was this roommate?

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

4. The entire prospect of roommates is flawed.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

5. It’s a question of severity.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

6. This about sums it up.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

7. Good thing it didn’t go too wrong though…

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

8. This guy’s asking the real questions.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

9. Meg here took it a step further.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

10. Bottom line: ya did good, but it could have been bad.

Source: r/AmITheAsshole

So before you go taking similar revenge on a bad roommate, maybe check and make sure you’re not going to, yanno, severely injure them with your little prank. That would be a much less funny story.

But what do you think about this situation?

Tell us in the comments.

The post A Guy Switched Almond Milk With Real Milk to Get Sweet, Milky Revenge on His Lactose Intolerant Roommate appeared first on UberFacts.

Memes that Define Our Beautiful, Weird American Education

Are you a victim…I mean…product of the American education system?

I’m so sorry. I sympathize.

I literally didn’t even know biological evolution was a real thing until college. We’re not exactly killing it when it comes to education and properly preparing kids for life. But what we ARE killing it in is making funny memes about our frustration with what we’ve learned and how we’ve learned it. And maybe, just maybe, that was the real lesson all along. (What?)

Anyway, I never learned how to write a proper introduction paragraph so here is memes now:

10. High expectations

Why can’t you be more like your imaginary brother?

9. Pop culture knowledge

All that education and this is what could have earned the guy some actual money.

8. It’s electric

All lessons should be taught in this form.

7. Doesn’t measure up

“It’s not a good way, but it’s our way.” – America

6. Business etiquette

Learn the rules for personal and professional success from this one movie.

5. Ding dong dorm

To be fair, there wasn’t much money left after spending $4,000 on 3 textbooks.

4. State of play

This meme literally just reminded me that Delaware exists.

3. The universal answer

It’s the powerhouse of education itself.

2. Big problems

“Kyle has 23 pineapples. Showing your work, solve for why.”

1. Crunching numbers

Remember, water freezes at Christmas degrees fire hydrant.

We may not have learned much in school, but at least we know how to meme.

What’s your biggest gripe about how you got learned?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes that Define Our Beautiful, Weird American Education appeared first on UberFacts.

Weird Ways That Your Day Could Be Worse

It’s a cliche we’ve all seen a million times. The characters find themselves in some awful spot and one of them moans “How could this get any worse?” or “At least things can’t get any worse.” Then BOOM, it starts pouring rain, or a siren goes off, or shots start firing through the air.

The lesson this trope has taught us is that no matter how bad things are, we should never assume they can’t drop yet another level.

Check out these ten examples of how a normal-to-bad day can suddenly get worse in the most unexpected of ways.

10. All natural

The machines have already begun to mock us. Their takeover is imminent.

View post on imgur.com

9. Hush puppy

From puzzled to muzzled in a single snap.

aww snap from Wellthatsucks

8. Wash it out

Plumbers be like “Well there’s your problem right there.”

So, how’s your day going? from Wellthatsucks

7. Testing my patience

Well, at least you learned how to drive yourself up a wall.

Waited 5 hours in line for my drivers test, got to the front only to tell me that they’ve reached the maximum amount of tests for the day. 16. from Wellthatsucks

6. See food

Oh come on, that’s just cruel.

Kid thought he was getting a new pet from Wellthatsucks

5. Bespectacled spectacle

It’s just a prank, bro.

So… My brother made a "pRanK" and did this…we dont have a key. from Wellthatsucks

4. Wide open spaces

I guess at least you don’t have to worry about social distancing.

My college labs have been canceled until further notice… and I was not included on the mass text. No wonder there’s no one here from Wellthatsucks

3. For the record

Getting a vinyl delivered by postal service to some kind of farm. What year do you live in?

A vinyl record. Thanks USPS! from Wellthatsucks

2. Why so salty?

She’s either having a very bad day or a very good one.

Does she know? It’s funny AF from Wellthatsucks

1. Like tears in rain

I’ll have what he’s having?

Great hangover from Wellthatsucks

So before you go asking “How could things get worse?” use your imagination a bit. Odds are, there are lots of ways. Lots. And you probably don’t want to invite them.

What’s been your big fail moment recently?

Tell us about it in the comments.

The post Weird Ways That Your Day Could Be Worse appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who’ve Had Very Bad Luck This Summer

How’s your summer been thus far? Not great?

Because the whole year has been a series of disasters. Cool, cool, yeah, that sounds about right. But believe it or not, things could probably be even worse.

Need proof? Look no further than this gallery of suck posted by Reddit users who are most definitely NOT having a great season. They range from the funny to the heartbreaking to the “How does that even happen?” and they serve as a strange reminder to count our blessings.

Here are ten people who definitely need to give their summer a do-over.

10. Very special delivery

How in the hell do you “accidently” throw something on a roof?

Worst. Delivery. Ever. (OC) from Wellthatsucks

9. Oldies but moldies

“Oh boy, can’t wait to get back to work with all my very valuable – aw, f***.”

Leather Shop Opens After 53 Days Of Quarantine Only To Find All Of Their Products Had Molded from Wellthatsucks

8. Singin’ in the rain

Have you checked for corporate espionage? ‘Cause I think you’ve got some leaks.

Heavy downpour. This is my office right now. from Wellthatsucks

7. Baby you’re a firework

It went from McMansion to ghost story real quick.

Neighbors house got hit by fireworks last night from Wellthatsucks

6. The final countdown

You definitely need to burn that board.

I was having fun with this letter board to countdown to my wife’s last day of school. Also turned out to be the last day before she left me. from Wellthatsucks

5. Split level

I’m no expert but I don’t think that’s how that’s supposed to work.

This looks expensive from Wellthatsucks

4. Dancing on the head of a pin

Just sell the house, that’ll become somebody else’s problem.

Dropped this after buying today. Put it all back in, stood on a pin, dropped it again. from Wellthatsucks

3. Pocket sock-it

Your big toe will be well-protected from all disease.

Drove 45 mins to the store thinking I had my mask in my pocket. It was a baby sock. from Wellthatsucks

2. Jacked up

I don’t even know what model of car that is but I’m guessing I’m too poor to pronounce it.

When your expensive car gets ruined from Wellthatsucks

1. Deep fried

I can smell this picture.

Really wanted pizza, fell asleep from Wellthatsucks

Definitely not a summer to remember for these people. Or at least, not one to remember fondly. Here’s hoping some nice things came along to provide them a little much needed balance!

What’s the biggest “that sucks” moment of your summer so far?

Tell us in the comments.

The post People Who’ve Had Very Bad Luck This Summer appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Are Having a Worse Day Than You

Have you had a bad day?

How bad would you rate it, on a scale of one to ten? If it’s under an eight, looking at these photos might actually cause you to lower it even further. Because compared to these poor saps, your day miiiiight have been just fine.

These all come from a very bittersweet subreddit called r/Wellthatsucks, which is a place for users to share experiences that…well…suck. A lot.

Laugh, cry, and cringe at these ten people who probably had a worse day than you.

10. Pasta la vista

Maybe this is God’s way of telling you not to eat anymore.

Came home late from work, drop my open sandwhich in the parking lot. Go to make pasta, the first pot slips and I pour it all on the ground. Make a second pot and the handle straight up breaks and my pasta goes everywhere. Didn’t eat; had a lil cry. from Wellthatsucks

9. Special delivery

F**k this guy’s junk mail in particular.

My mailbox was blown up by lightning last night from Wellthatsucks

8. Measure twice, cut once

Think of it as one really big letter slot.

My wife said measure the door, I told her all doors are the same size… from Wellthatsucks

7. My cup runneth over

When even the laws of physics don’t want you to have a good day.

Good morning… from Wellthatsucks

6. Road rage

Now that’s what I call fast charging.

Well… i think the image speaks for itself. from Wellthatsucks

5. Watch out!

Oh would you look at the time, it’s give up o’clock.

Turned 26 today, contact fell out while walking into work, tried to rub my eye to help the irritation while looking down, and walked into a brick wall. Happy birthday to me from Wellthatsucks

4. Junk in the trunk

I think you’ve created some sort of paradox.

See that tiny sliver of metal in the gap? Those are my car keys that I locked in the groove of my trunk. from Wellthatsucks

3. Sick and tired

You know, you’re being a real tool right now.

Driving my wife’s new car (still on the first tank of gas) when this happened from Wellthatsucks

2. When it rains, it pours

Who does something like this? Seriously, why?

I found out someone cut through the convertible top of my unlocked car, then it rained inside. I was let go from my job an hour later for some extra spice. from Wellthatsucks

1. Solid design

Apple stuck a logo on it and charged him $799.

This guy bought a smart phone online but received a stone from Wellthatsucks

No getting around it, those are all pretty bad days. Still, could be worse. Oops, I’d better go knock on wood. Who knows what weird fate might befall me now!

What was your “Well that sucks” moment recently?

Share it with us in the comments.

The post People Who Are Having a Worse Day Than You appeared first on UberFacts.

People Who Claim to Be Adults but Know Nothing About Human Anatomy

It’s really surprising, some of the things people can make it all the way to adulthood without knowing. Sometimes it’s little stuff, and it sort of makes sense that you might not know, or like, maybe you just zoned out in high school history class (who didn’t?).

But when it comes to totally blanking on the human anatomy as an adult (sometimes with kids?) it can be stunning, and not in a good way.

These 15 people had some major fails in that area. Like, yikes.

15. The second one legit cracked me up. A pocket.

When I was 16 I had a guy friend put his hands on either side of my stomach and ask me if he squeezed hard enough would all of my period come out at once and be done with for the month.

The following year I was at the mall with a different guy friend and it happened to be the Victoria’s Secret Semi-Annual Sale where they put all the panties in big boxes separated by size and you kind of rifle through to find the style you like. We were both going through boxes and he held one up and goes, “This one has a pocket!” He was taking about the crotch lining.

14. This guy definitely doesn’t know how anything female works.

A guy in my year saw me buying stuff for my period when i was about 15 years old. He looked at me and muttered slut under his breath… unsure if he really understood what a period was???

13. I don’t know why this is supposed to be embarrassing?

Don’t know if this counts, but a couple friends and I were getting out of the pool, and of course it got cold, so my nips were noticeable, and a male friend commented on it like I could somehow change this fact as we were heading back to the room (from his perspective he didn’t want me to be embarrassed since we were still kind of in public, and he wasn’t sure if I had noticed my own body; of course it had the opposite effect, and of course I know they are noticeable). My other friend was like “dude, why point hers out when she didn’t say anything bout yours.”

12. That’s not how cancer (or cervixes) work.

Recently my aunt got cervical cancer. My uncle wasn’t feeling well and thought he may have gotten cervical cancer from her.

11. Um but yes I’ll go home early.

My boss offered to send me home early because he saw the tampon (fresh out of the box, still in wrapper) and got uncomfortable. Like, thanks and all but I live with this shit for a week every month, I’m all good.

10. It’s surprising how many people don’t know how many holes there are.

I was told once that women should “clean out their vagina before sex in case there’s pee in there still”, obviously thinking we pee from the same hole. And forgetting men DO pee from the same hole.

Should note that we all received decent sex Ed at the time but most of the lads sat at the back of the class giggling and making rude comments whenever female anatomy came up so they learned nothing.

9. Okay let’s all quit I’m game.

“Wearing bras gives you breast cancer.”

Yeah. Thanks dad. You could have just told me you didn’t want to take me bra shopping that day.

8. See also: can’t you just hold it in?

“just pee out all the blood and finish your period”

7. Ohhhhh this is sort of adorable but also wut.

Not a female and telling on myself here, but when my wife was pregnant with our first child, I stupidly asked how old he’d be before his eyes were going to open (due to the fact that I had only had dealings with puppies and kittens being born at that point in my life). That was 13 years ago and still gets brought up whenever I get too sure of myself on any unrelated subject matter.

6. This is a grown man who has procreated.

I was visiting my father when I got my period when I was around 13-14, it was the first time I had been staying at his place when it happened to I had nothing there and wasn’t prepared so I had to ask him to take me to the store. SO we go to the store down the aisle and he grabs a box of pads but I was use to using tampons, so I just said “no no dad i actually use these” and grabbed a box of tampons and up to the register we went. Then we get into the car and we sit, he doesn’t start it, just sits there, sighs, and then looks as me completely serious and goes “I thought you had to be a non-virgin to use tampons!?” hahaha No Dad, You don’t have to be a “non-vigrin” to use tampons, never let him live it down,

5. I hate all of this story except the last bit.

My ex asked me how I knew my period was over. He was 21 at the time. Now, that wouldn’t have even been that bad, but I started to explain how the flow gets lighter until it eventually stops and he cut me off. Said it was gross and he regretted asking.

He also thought any pubic hair on a woman was gross. I get wanting it tidy, but he thought all women should be shaved/waxed all the time. And no, his pubic area was never hair-free.

My only regret was not breaking up with him sooner.

4. Can HE control HIS headaches?

A friend told me that once she made a comment about having cramps and a headache to her boyfriend and he got all disgusted and said “Well can’t you control that? Like make it stop?”

Not the main reason she dumped him but I’m sure it didn’t help.

3. That’s definitely not how any of this works?

I know a man who assumed that smaller girls must have tiny vaginas & would break in half during sex with a large penis but big girls had huge vaginas and it would take a huge man to even please them. He was 28 years old…

2. Like he thought she’d never used them before then?

My ex commented that my tampons were “huge”….Because he had no idea that there is an applicator involved..

To be fair, it was very endearing on a different occasion, when I came home after asking him to pick up a box of tampons for me and he had the little instruction pamphlet spread out on the kitchen table like a road map and greeted me with a dead serious “ok, so here’s what we have to do!”

1. Bless his little pea pickin’ heart.

I’ve known more than one man who believed that women need to pee after sex to push the cum out in order to reduce chances of pregnancy – and would get suspicious of me if I didn’t immediately go pee.. like I was intentionally trying to get pregnant despite having been on birth control at the time.

Just HOW, you guys? I really need to know!

Have you ever encountered a moment like this? We want to hear about it in the comments!

The post People Who Claim to Be Adults but Know Nothing About Human Anatomy appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share Stories of Huge Mistakes They Fixed Before Anyone Noticed

Have you been in this situation before?

Maybe it happened at work, or maybe it happened out in public, but you BLOW IT and FUCK UP in a huge way and you go into panic mode.

Now you need to fix your FUCK UP before anyone notices.

It’s a race against the clock but somehow you pull it off.

Whew! That was a close call!

AskReddit users shared their stories that are just like this.

1. Whoopsy daisy.

“Fucked up numerous times working on live applications. The best one was accidentally deleting the user table.

I was trying to delete a subset of users and managed to hit the key to run the statement before I’d written the “where” clause. If you don’t have a “where” clause to tell the database which records you want to delete, it just deletes all of them.

Luckily, the user table was only ever read by the application on log-in, so no one was going to notice unless they happened to log-in in the 2 mins or so it took me to load the records back in from a back-up.”

2. Working with acid.

“Working at a laboratory that used acid solutions to dissolve geological samples for various tests, my technical manager left a component of a machine in a plastic beaker filled halfway with concentrated hydrofluoric acid, unlabeled, in a fume hood that other people used regularly, “to see what it would do”.

I dumped it in a neutralizer and this asshole had the balls to yell at me for ruining his “test”. I told him it would etch and dissolve the part because it was glass, and he didn’t require a test because that’s already a known property.

Had someone spilled it on even a gloved hand, the hydrofluoric acid would pass through protection and enter the bloodstream without sensation, where it would leach calcium out of the bones, wreaking havoc on the nervous system causing a horrible, agonizing death.”

3. In the trash.

“I once had a roommate who didn’t speak English too well. She was moving away, and she was leaving in a hurry, and before she left she asked me to “take care of” a big bag of what was apparently clothes.

I assumed those were trash she didn’t want to take with her, and she just didn’t have time to throw them away, so once she left, I took that bag to the trash canister outside. A few hours later, that interaction just came back to my mind and seemed strange to me. I went back to the trash canister, the bag was still there, and brought it back inside.

The next day, she came back to get it and thanked me for “taking care of it”. She was a nice, poor girl from a rural region that was already struggling in the city, and I don’t want to think about what would have happened if I had to tell her that I threw her clothes into the trash.”

4. A wonderful song.

“Worked at a record / video rental store. After work on a weeknight, we close at 10pm, clean the store, count the register, lock the safe and go home.

When we clean the store we would often play a CD someone may have returned or which we wouldn’t normally play. Tonight it was 2 Live Crew’s ‘Banned In The USA’ CD with their hit single, ‘Pop That Pussy’. We put this on and crank it and start falling over laughing.

The bass is insane. We have 8 speakers set up around the perimeter of the store, all on shelves hanging near the ceiling. We hear this loud “THUNK” and cannot pinpoint what it was. We notice a speaker is “missing”… then find the corpse. It had jumped off it’s shelf and split into several chunks in the aisle.

Our night manager acted fast. “YOU!” she said, pointing to the 18 year old cashier. “Here’s $10. Go next door to Walgreens and get wood glue!” He’s gone. We start seeing if we can piece it back together. He returns. We glue it up and gently set that bitch back up on it’s shelf and left the speaker wire oh-so-gently unhooked.

The store closed about 6 years later and the manager never found out! We won! Yay Miami bass! Yay Pop That Pussy!”

5. Life and death.

“I was mixing IVs at the hospital.

Someone had put the wrong bag in the wrong bin. I didn’t notice.

I proceeded to make a batch of epidurals out of the wrong medicine. No one caught it. It somehow made it to the OB floor.

I came back into the IV room and saw the empty bag hanging and my stomach dropped. I called OB to ensure none had been used and to make sure it wouldn’t. Brought them back and wrote myself up.

If I hadn’t caught it, it would of caused major issue’s including the possibility of killing the patients. There were 12 syringes if I remember correctly.

I learned a very valuable lesson that day.”

6. Chicken drama.

“This is great timing, I was just thinking about this a few hours ago.

I rented a room from a couple and one of the rules was that I could not enter their yard. In their yard they had all sorts of animals a lovely quaky duck, a few cats and chickens. The chickens were in a big coop cause the cats hunting instincts were still to prevalent.

One weekend they asked me to feed the chickens while they went on a trip. On the last day of feeding all the chickens got out (5), and I noticed just in time to rip one of the chickens from the cats mouth.

After another hilarious 30 minute chase I’d put all the chickens back in the coop, minutes before they came home. I don’t think they noticed.”

7. That was awesome!

“Years ago, I lived in DC. One morning, riding in on the Metro I was changing trains from the Red line to the Blue. I heard the door chime and realized I wasn’t going to make this train. As I stopped, a guy bumped into me and ran on around and jumped on the train as the door chime sounded again. As he passed, I heard a thump and saw his cell phone hit the ground.

In one motion, I knelt down, grabbed the phone, stood up and under-armed the phone 20 feet and hit hit smack in the middle of his chest. He caught the phone, and looked up right at me in shock- then the door closed.

I said to myself, “Well, damn. No one saw that so I can never brag about it.” Then I heard a voice behind me say “Holy shit! That was awesome!” Guy who sat in the office right next to me was coming up behind me, heading into work at the same time. So since Tony saw it, I get to brag about it!”

8. That’s not good.

“Working on a presentation and managed to misspell the CEO’s name.

We’d been working on it for weeks, the name had been there probably since day 3 or 4. No one spotted it cause who would be dumb enough to get it wrong? I finally caught it about a week before it went to the presentation.

Definitely one of my sections, so glad I got it before it could do damage.”

9. A lucky break.

“Worked in an IT company. Had to switch of the routines for data backups because of I even don’t know anymore. Forgot to switch them on again. After around 2 years I noticed it more by coincidence. Felt very warm and sweaty instantly.

If data loss had happened, that would have been the end of the company. And the end of my career of course.”

10. Almost a bad accident.

“Caught a coworker pulling safety pins out of a support stand for a rather large and heavy jet engine component. I had two guys under the component and she was about to pull the last pin when I stopped her.

She was working with knowledge from a different style engine, and would have been correct on that model. In our model, she would have dropped a ton of metal on two guys.”

11. That would’ve been very embarrassing.

“I am a University professor.

I was watching porn one morning and closed my laptop without closing the browser. I then went to class, plugged the computer into the teaching station, and opened the screen. I was saved by the very brief delay between the image on my screen being displayed on the teaching station and it being displayed on the projector.

I managed to rip the HDMI cable out just before I projected to 100+ students.”

12. Catering.

“I work in catering, on multiple occasions have noticed food that has managed to be packaged on site, hasnt reached its sell by date (most foods we label with a sell by date of 3 days after packaging) and yet has mold on it. I’m sure I dont have to explain the consequences of that, physical or legal.

Also one time i was on my break and the food on sale was curry and somehow the one batch they happened to serve first managed to be ice cold because some how they managed to forget to heat that one up.

Luckily I was the first person to take some so I picked it up before the customer otherwise there would have been issues.”

13. Don’t play with fire.

“I was lighting matches and throwing them around a yard beside the one that I grew up in and bf it was so sunny out I couldn’t see that I started a grass fire and it had gotten big. ( the grass was also dead) I managed to find an old oil drum, tipped it over and rolled it all along the perimeter of the growing bush fire.

If I hadn’t had that barrel I would have burned down several graineries and possibly vehicles. If it had gotten into the tree line, my yard would have gone up. Only you know about this. None of my family.”

14. Dodged a bullet.

“Was going on a three night backpacking trip with friends, it was my job to round up three breakfasts.

At REI I picked up what I thought were six packages of freeze dried eggs hanging from a peg. Turns out only the first was eggs, the ones behind it were Neapolitan ice cream. The packages were identical, only a small label indicated the contents.

Fortunately for me the first day and night of the trip we were harassed so badly by biting flies and mosquitoes everyone wanted to abandon the trip as nobody brought bug spray.

I only discovered my mistake days later. Bullet dodged.”

Whew! Those were some close calls!

Now we want to hear from you!

In the comments, tell us your personal stories about mistakes you fixed at the very last second before anyone noticed.

Thanks!

The post People Share Stories of Huge Mistakes They Fixed Before Anyone Noticed appeared first on UberFacts.

People Discuss Really Bad Adulting Fails That They’ve Witnessed

Adults don’t always have it figured out, huh?

The answer to that question is a huge NO.

When you’re a kid, you probably think that adults know how to do everything, but then you get older and you realize that pretty much everyone is totally clueless.

Here are some true stories from AskReddit users about being surprised at what adults don’t know how to do.

1. Two stories.

“I’ve got two. A girl I knew in college. Her dad called once to remind her that every so often she needed to put oil in her truck. She did. Then her truck started smelling like french fries and then died.

Even after trying to explain it, she couldn’t understand that this was directly related to the quart of vegetable oil she put in the motor.

Another time, another party back in college, a guy demonstrated how to shotgun a beer by shoving a steak knife into it and twisting it. Also some of his hand. He panicked like crazy. Made all kinds of noises and waved his hand around freaking out and getting blood all over. He was a bit drunk, though, and these things happen.

He got a bandage on it a minute later and he was fine.”

2. Ummmm…

“When my friend bought a house a month into home ownership she asked me, very pissed off, when the city was coming to cut her lawn because it’s starting to look like weeds .

It was awkward when I had to explain that she needs to cut her own lawn or hire someone.”

3. Come on!

“I had to jump a friends car that wouldn’t start.

It had a hard time but I finally got it running. She immediately turns off the car and says, “thanks so much I’ll call you later!””

4. Too many rules.

“Had to ask my roommate to please wash his hands after touching raw chicken. He was cool to just…go about his day before I asked. He thought I was being a wacko neat freak.

Same guy also thought his sheets wouldn’t fit in the washing machine so he just…never washed them.

When I asked him please not drop silverware down the garbage disposal and leave it he said I had too many house rules.”

5. You must empty it!

“My ex best friend had told me that she had needed to buy another new vacuum cleaner, the 3rd that month.

I asked her what was wrong with it and she said “It’s not picking things up anymore!” So I asked if she had dumped out the container… she didn’t know that was a thing.”

6. What day is it?!?!

“I work graveyard shift and I had to explain to a coworker that at midnight, 12:00 am/0000 hours, it is the start of a new day.

She then had an anxiety attack because I was telling her that “today is not Monday anymore, today is Tuesday now”.”

7. Not really up on things.

“I had to teach my boss how to “go down to the next line” by hitting Enter on his computer keyboard.”

8. Hahahaha.

“I had a friend who I noticed took Mucinex A LOT.

I’ve used it occasionally, when I’ve been congested, but it seemed abnormal how often I saw him taking it. I finally asked him why he was taking it one time, because he didn’t seem sick at all, and he looked puzzled and said “well, I think I’m getting sick”.

I pressed further and he said “because it’s an expectorant”. It turns out he thought “you take an expectorant when you are EXPECTING to get sick”.”

9. What does that mean?

“Girl I went to HS with: “why do people say a quarter of an hour? Like what does that even mean?”

Me: “it’s 15 minutes. Because 15 is a fourth of 60, so that’s a quarter of an hour”

Her: looking at me like I’m a fucking idiot “But a quarter is 25…”

Me: …”

10. A smart one!

“My wonderful, selfless, beautiful younger brother asked me how to make ice last year.

He’s 24.”

11. You gotta peel those!

“Friend from college tried making burrito bowls for dinner and complained that some of the onions were weirdly chewy. She didn’t know onions need to be peeled.

She asked me if not greasing the pan when making banana bread was okay, because she didn’t have anything to grease it with. She had canola oil, olive oil, and butter. She thought you could only use Pam which I informed her was just sprayable oil.

She won’t cook raw meat, because it’s gross and she doesn’t know how to tell if it’s cooked well enough to not get sick. I taught her how to make tea, how to mop, how to do laundry, how to make scrambled eggs.

She has the type of mom that does all the cooking and cleaning, but I don’t understand why she wouldn’t have tried to pass that to her daughter.”

12. Slow computer.

“In the late 90s.

Had a co-worker who complained about her PC being slow. Took a look and the hard drive was full. Largest folder was her recycle bin. She had never ever emptied it in years of use. I emptied recycle, cleared Temp folder and PC started working fine.

She was happy until….. Her big excel tracking sheet was gone. Oh No. She did not know where it was on file explorer, so I asked her to show me how she opened it. She goes to the little storage container on her desktop, named Recycle Bin, and it was normally at the top, but now it’s gone. No backup. Oops…

She cried to management that I ‘destroyed her computer’. Manager laughed when I told her the truth.”

13. Where am I?

“This is like 10 years ago. I was dating a 32 year old and he asked me if I wanted to get together to watch a TV show. I said sure, what time is it on. He looks it up and says to me “8 Pacific 9 Central…?”

I asked what was confusing him and he told me he wasn’t sure if the show was on at 8 or 9. My man did not know what timezone we lived in.

So I was like “Ok, well you know what ocean we’re near, right?” cuz I was trying to get him to think about the Pacific timezone in terms of the giant body of water for which it was named and he immediately got defensive and for real said “Why would I know that? I’m from Texas.”

He’d been living in San Francisco for 5 years and could see the Pacific Ocean out his window.”

14. Tell me about it.

“Worked at an on campus store that sold a lot of essentials for students living at dorms.

I had one girl ask me what laundry detergent was because she never did laundry. She asked if I could help her do her laundry but I declined as I couldn’t leave the register, which of course she was mad about.

Sorry I have to actually do my job lady.”

15. Money problems.

“This is going to sound weird, but manage a budget. Or just in general being money smart.

One of my old roommates was really bright academically, but he was terrible with money. Each semester he would start off with a pile of cash from his parents and roughly blow through it after about two months.

I first noticed it with his dining dollars on campus. Every day it seemed like he would buy the most expensive sushi option on campus everyday. We’re talking maybe $18.00 which isn’t terrible if it’s once in a while, but this was every day.

It’s also college dining hall sushi, so the quality was also just okay without even considering the money spent. Of course around midterms when his dining dollars would run out and he’d sort of panic and whine that he couldn’t afford anything.

But what was so strange, is that when he would start to low, he’s sort of laugh about not knowing anyway we could avoid going broke while continuing to buy the most expensive option. But he’d also get really defensive when people wanted to talk to him about this.

Eventually when he moved off campus it was the same thing. For the first two months he’d feast. He’d get delivery constantly, ordering just way too much food, and of course he’d never share it.

But then once he’d nearly run out of cash, he’d buy like an emergency 50 pack of hot dogs and only eat that for the rest of the semester, while telling everyone else that they were lucky they had money to spend, and how not everyone had it so easy when it comes to money.

He’d never directly say it, but there were always a lot of implied insults.”

Have you ever had any experiences like this?

If so, please share them with us in the comments.

Thanks!

The post People Discuss Really Bad Adulting Fails That They’ve Witnessed appeared first on UberFacts.

People Talk About Being Shocked by What Other Adults Didn’t Know How to Do

Have you ever been with another adult and you were totally shocked by something they DIDN’T know how to do?

It’s weird, right?

Like, you think people should have these things figured out by the time they reach adulthood, but then…well, you get that info and you just shake your head.

Adulting sure is weird…and it can be surprising sometimes, too!

Let’s check out these horror stories from AskReddit users.

1. That’s surprising.

“I was a drill sergeant in the US Army. The first time you have to show an adult man how to shave is a little shocking. The worst one was the 24 year old male that didn’t know how to tie his boots.

He had gotten through reception and pick up day by tightly lacing his boots and tucking the laces in. As they would loosen up throughout the day, he would just pull them tight again. The first Sunday I noticed his boots were barely staying on as he was marching back from dinner.

I asked him what was wrong with them as it’s common for privates to have the wrong size boots when they get to us. He didn’t know how to tie them. At all. Not a single knot. I spent an hour showing him how I tie my boots and different techniques if he gets hot spots or blisters.

Then I assigned his bunkmate the task of making sure they were tied correctly when he left the bay.

I kind of understood it. He came from a super poor neighborhood, single mom that worked all the time, he didn’t have a lot of positive influences before joining the Army.

I was a little worried about his comprehension skills since basic rifle marksmanship is kind of intense and takes some focus, but he did well. I was very happy that on family day he had his low quarters tied and was proud that he had learned so much.”

2. Payin’ bills.

“A friend who was pushing 40 had never paid a bill before.

She had gone from living with her parents to living in a dorm to living with her parents again until she got married, then she got divorced and was living on her own for the first time.

Got a text from her asking if my power was out too, then she realized it was just her. Her excuse was she never paid attention to the bills because she thought they were “receipts” and that the cost was included in her rent.

Her water was cut off a couple weeks later and we had to talk about that, too.”

3. Oh, boy…

“I have many great stories about my former college roommate. Two of my favorites are:

she wanted to make pasta. She put a pot on the stove and poured the noodles in (no water in the pot), turned on the stove. After a while she asked me “how come these aren’t getting soft like when my mom makes them?”

she made brownies from a box. The box instructions say “grease the bottom of an 8×8 pan before pouring in the brownie batter.” You bet your ass this bitch picked up the 8×8 pan, flipped it over, greased the BOTTOM of it, and then flipped it back over and poured in the brownie batter”

4. We’re at war, right?

“Back in ’06 or ’07, was working selling a software licensing product to software vendors.

I was working with a 50-something Californian lady (I’m from the UK) who was handling some of the incoming enquiries through our website.

One day she asks, “Hey we had a lead today from a company in Egypt. What should I do with it?”

I said, “Err, well follow it up of course. Why would you ask?”

She goes, “Because they’re Arabs, and we’re at war with the Arabs aren’t we?””

5. That’s weird.

“I guess we were still in high school, but we were 18.

Me and my buddy Ferris were just getting into going to the gym. We went with Ferris’s friend Tom. After working out, in the changing room during some small talk I saw Tom putting on a shirt. Tom put the shirt over his head, but didn’t put his arms through the sleeves.

He managed to pull the shirt over his torso so that it was adequately on before wiggling all about and bending his arms in odd ways to get them into the sleeves. I didn’t take much notice to it the first few times. But after a few months it was apparent he did this every single time. Tom didn’t know how to put on a shirt. At least efficiently.

Eventually we asked Tom why he put his shirt on like that, and he said something along the lines of “Wait what, don’t I do it the same way you guys do?” I guess he had never really thought about it before then.”

6. Can’t read the clock.

“Had a guy constantly asking what time jt is…by the 6th time I said “bro,there is a clock right there” he said ” I don’t know how to read it…grown ass man..

Couple weeks later on facebook someone shared a picture of cursive writing he made fun of the people who couldn’t read it…I posted a picture of a clock and said what time does this say…he blocked me.”

7. What the hell?

“College roommate did not know how to wash his body.

Yes. The SMELL.

After a week we threatened him. He took a “shower”.

We sent him back again. With soap.

Three days later he stank again. We told him to shower every day.

Then we taught him how to do laundry. And bought him a coat because he did not own one. In cleveland. In the winter.

Full genius dude, invented a WiFi security standard later on. But no idea how to care for himself.”

8. C’mon, people!

“Training a new girl at work and she told me she didn’t know how to sweep. I had to show her.

Training a new girl at work, her dishes often still greasy after being washed, I asked her about it and I asked her when she puts the soap on and she replied, straight faced, ‘oh… You use soap here?’ (we had raw meat on many of those dishes.)

My ex told me he ‘thought mixing dark and light loads of laundry was a myth’ after destroying a bunch of my clothes. He also told me soaking dishes had no affect…”

9. Mama’s boy.

“I had spent the night at my ex boyfriend’s place and stayed a bit longer in the morning to help clean the house. I was folding some clothes when I noticed him go from one side of the bed to another without actually doing anything.

I looked at him and he looked clueless. He said “can you please make the bed? I’ve never done this, no idea where to start”. I didn’t mean to have a strong reaction to it but man did it leave me speechless… he was 26 at the time.

That day I realized his mother often visited his house to make the bed and clean… Yeah…”

10. The employee from Hell.

“Before the shutdown happened, I was working in a bar. We had this kid who got hired as a barback and he apparently just couldn’t keep up. It was a pretty busy place, especially on the weekends, and barbacks had to be on top of shit constantly.

After about three weeks, management decides he isn’t gonna cut it as a barback and pushes him into the kitchen with me. I was glad to have help because we always had issues with keeping cooks on for some reason.

Holy shit. This kid could not do anything. He lacked basic common sense for practically everything. We started him on fry station but he would fuck up the most basic of tasks; he didn’t even know how to make fries. I told him how to do our catfish (3 planks tossed in corn mill and flour), he tossed the first two but then dropped the third in completely bare.

I asked him why he did that and he had no answer. Then we tried putting him on grill – he couldn’t make toast or toast buns; he would always burn them! Last we tried having him run center and call out tickets but it seemed like he could barely read.

There were multiple times I had to kick him out of the kitchen because he was so slow or just completely zone out.

One of the servers was his cousin and she told me that both his dad and brother had to fire him from separate jobs because he wouldn’t do his shit or wouldn’t show up. Then of course one night, he was still out back after he clocked out and was talking to someone at length about doing mushrooms and acid; guess we know why he can’t hold down a job.

Told him to do something one night while I ran to the restroom; came back and he was gone. Good riddance. Brandon, if you’re reading this, I hate your guts.”

11. Mother knows best.

“In my honors dorm at Purdue there was a Computer Science major named Jeffrey. He was well known because his parents would stop by every week to pick up his laundry and bring him a case of Fiji water with expensive groceries.

His dad was a doctor. We commented on Jeffrey’s long gross toenails and how he needs to cut them. He told us they are long because his mom hasn’t visited in weeks and she was the one who cut them. His mother cut her 19 year old sons toenails. Disgusting.

We had to give him a lesson on it.”

12. In culinary school?

“Frying an egg.

He was in culinary school. When tasked with “egg day” where they just cook eggs multiple times in multiple styles to get the basis of the techniques involved; he had gently plopped an egg (shell and all) into a buttered pan.

His reasoning was that the heat of the pan will melt away the shell.”

13. Totally clueless.

“One of my roommates in college was basically helpless when it came to basic life skills.

She declared herself a feminist and didn’t want to do housework but like, part of being independent is learning how to be self-sufficient… Anyways, she came to me one day our junior year and asked me how to do laundry. Literally had never done it herself before.

She also came to me and our other roommates once because she clogged her toilet and wanted us to come fix it because she didn’t know how. She asked if she should call maintenance and we were like no wtf go buy a plunger and deal with that shit yourself. She still had one of my other roommates come help her plunge the toilet but thank god it wasn’t me lol.

She had no idea how to cook and ordered delivery like every night, she never learned to drive, didn’t know how to swim, she was incapable of picking up after herself and would drop her stuff in the middle of the floor where the rest of us were constantly tripping over it, and she never took out the trash unless repeatedly asked.

She moved out over the summer finally but didn’t clean her shit out of the fridge when she left. I was gone home for the summer and when I came back it was full of rotten food and had to be completely cleaned. She had also left food or something in her room and I had to call the pest control folks because there were ants and roaches coming in.

The thing is, she was extremely nice and sweet and I don’t think any of it was out of malice or bad intent. She was just completely fucking clueless. I just don’t understand how a person can be so helpless when they’re practically an adult and how their parents can let them get that bad.”

14. Turn it on.

“Ooohhh I got one. I work as an EMT for a private company, so we mostly deal with nursing homes and the elderly. One day when I was about 6-8 months in, I got assigned a partner who was in my orientation class.

He was a little older than me at the time, like mid 20’s, but he seemed a little childish. “Maybe he’s just sheltered, I think to myself.”

Anyways, we got a patient I’ve had a few times before. She was a sweet, little old lady with COPD and CHF living at an assisted living. Call was for pneumonia.

She’s prone to this stuff so it wasnt a huge deal, slap her on oxygen and keep her sitting up til we get to the hospital. The first red flag though, was this kid didn’t know anything. He didnt know how to take a blood pressure.

He couldn’t find the medical history or medication on the paperwork (which is clearly labeled). He didn’t even push the stretcher, just walked next to it with a hand on it. When I asked him about all that, he said “My partners usually do that for me.”

So, I put her on an oxygen mask and sit her all the way up, mildly agitated. I tell myself it’s just one shift with this kid.

He’s in the back with her and I tell him to just switch the oxygen from the bag (which is a small tank) to the main tank (which is huge) because with the amount of oxygen we’re giving her, the bag will run out not even halfway before the hospital. It’s about 25 minutes, which normally wouldn’t be a huge deal.

But when we pull up to the hospital and I open the back doors, I’m fucking shook. The oxygen mask isnt inflated (meaning she isnt getting oxygen), shes pale as shit, I can literally see her accessory muscles moving, struggling to breathe.

And this kid was sitting behind her, with a clueless half smile on his face, looks at me and says “The main tank is broken, so I left her on the bag.” This women, who needs oxygen without pneumonia, was barely breathing for at LEAST 15 minutes. And this fucking idiot didnt even check. We take her into the hospital.

I ask him to find an oxygen tank while explain to this women’s daughter what happened. He says he doesn’t know where to look. I fucking find it and told him to talk to the daughter.

When it’s all said and done, I check to see what’s broken. He didn’t turn on the tank.”

Okay, now it’s your turn!

In the comments, tell us about the most shocking thing you’ve witnessed as far as adults NOT being able to do something.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

The post People Talk About Being Shocked by What Other Adults Didn’t Know How to Do appeared first on UberFacts.

People Share What Made Their Ex “Crazy”

If you’re of a certain age, there’s a good chance there are romantic relationships in your past. We have all sorts of exes – normal(ish) ones, boring ones, ones we might regret, ones that got away – but it takes a special kind of ex to get labeled “the crazy one.”

If you’re up for a laugh at someone else’s expense, here are the stories of how 15 exes became the “crazy exes.”

15. Not only is he crazy, he’s also not very smart.

When he called the police to tell them I was “receiving drugs through the mail slot in my front door” then parked in front of my house after HE put drugs through my mail slot.

When the police arrived to talk to me my neighbor told them they had seen him do it and that he was still sitting in his car on the street watching. He was then arrested and charged with Possession, distribution, and violating a trespassing & restraining order.

14. What a forking weirdo.

He put a tracking app on my phone, put cameras in our house and would refuse to go to events with me but then show up and sit outside in his car watching me.

13. Your run-of-the-mill crazy.

Oh just the usual: Stalking and threatening suicide over the phone.

12. Sounds like they were both crazy…about each other.

She flatly informed me during that she had been planning to cheat on me with my best friend.

And then she succeeded and I lost my best friend, and eventually she cheated on him and called me asking to make up. Like what?

11. He would drink what now?

Oh so many things… standard abusive relationship stuff but the thing that’s most shocking to people is after I broke up with him he called me constantly and threatened suicide if I didn’t talk to him and he would cut himself and drink his own blood while on the phone with me.

10. That’s less crazy and more “should be in jail.”

She intentionally ran me over with her car.

9. Oh, the drama!

he sent messages about what an awful person i am to all my friends and to my mother. the one to my mom also included a suicide note. he also sent me a picture of him setting fire to a stuffed animal that was supposed to symbolize our happy years

8. That is QUITE the tale.

She vanished.

So I was like “wow okay guess we are broke up” and one night about 5 months later she showed up at apartment whole I was at work and started kicking the door saying she’s sorry and she loved me, and I was a f*ggot, and an asshole and that she missed me so much she wanted to die. Like… All over the place. My upstairs neighbor took a video, then called the police.

We dated casually for like… 3 months.

Turns out she left because she met a man at a bar and immediately fell in love. They ran away to new york city, got married, and did so many drugs. Like…. Reckless bender. She had an OD and then a Revelation in the hospital. Immediately came home and I guess expected me to be waiting anxiously for her.

I wasn’t heartbroken, just confused.

I never saw her until after she had gone through a full rehab course and completely excused herself from her old life. She told me a very watered-down version of how things went. I knew from my neighbor the truth, it was very embarrassing for her and I didn’t let her know that I knew the reality. She’s recovering well though. Poor thing.

7. Step away from the dogs, sir.

I had an ex who did something similar. Minus the suicide note. When i broke up with him (we were living together) he would harass me, constantly tell me how much he wanted to fuck my sister and how ugly i was. And then he’d text my sister and be all buddy buddy and kind and make me seem like the villain. I begged my sister to stop talking to him and then he pushed it too far saying he was going to hang out with her and i told my sister everything he said to me about her and she was so disgusted and immediately stopped everything.

My sister is very kind and was just trying to be nice to him since i was the one who ended things.

He was not a nice man. Also threatened to kill my dogs at one point. Very terrifying.

6. This is insane!

I got ghosted once years ago by a girl I was just casually seeing for I dunno, 5 weeks? We’d been on like 3 dates after meeting in a bar. Weird feeling, because everything seemed to be going well, and then poof she was gone. This was back before the days of Facebook and we hadn’t like met friends or done more than exchange numbers, so I had nobody to contact or anything really. Your post reminded me of it because yeah, what can you do except go “lol well I guess that is over”.

In my case it turns out she got hit by a car when she went home for spring break and died like a week later. I didn’t find out for 3 months or so, and by then I had of course fully moved on with my life. I kept thinking I should feel worse? But then we hardly knew each other and I had been operating under the assumption that I had been ditched and was out there trying to meet people and whatnot again. It’s weird, like having your past come whipping around and hit you in the head.

5. When even your therapist tells you to GTFO.

She was verbally, emotionally, financially and (eventually) physically abusive. She used to threaten to call the police and say I raped her or to get me deported (before I was a citizen).

Went to counseling because she insisted the problems were all on my side and after two sessions the counselor called me privately and told me to get out ASAP

4. Nobody steals pizza and gets away with it.

Broke into my house, stole my dad’s phone, and wrote a letter on the back of my door in sharpie: “I love you RockArmMan and I always will. Love Jessica.” At least the note made it easy for the cops.

Oh and she ate my fucking pizza.

3. Not just him but his friends, too.

After telling him I wanted nothing to do with his drama, he got some of his friends to text & call me nonstop for nearly a full week. Apparently if I responded they were to convince me I was the dramatic one.

He and his friends also would pop in randomly to my place of work after that, leaving bs complaints with management (half the time they’d be ignored b/c they’d make a complaint without making sure I worked that day tho lol). Was pretty uncomfortable that these LGBT+-activist folks basically forced me to out myself at work to explain to my bosses what was going on.

Took a new phone number, new apartment, and new job to finally shake him off my back.

2. People just have SO much gall.

Wanted me to start a poly relationship with him and the gal he cheated on me with after I initiated the divorce.

Got raging drunk when he thought she was cheating on him and tried to leave her place with our kids in the car (how I learned to appreciate the gf….she stopped him and called me).

Told my first post divorce bf a whopper of a tale about why our marriage ended with me being portrayed as the one who cheated on him with another couple.

1. Thelma and Louise up in here.

She grabbed the steering wheel while we were driving down the highway

I’m dying, and I’m hoping I’m not someone’s “crazy ex” (though I might be!).

Do you have a crazy ex? What makes them crazy? Tell us the story in the comments!

The post People Share What Made Their Ex “Crazy” appeared first on UberFacts.