19 Stories That Prove Karma is a Real Bitch

They say what goes around comes around, and having grown up in the Hindu tradition, the concept of karma has always been a part of my life. I always try my best to treat others with kindness for exactly that reason.

While karma may not always happen as immediately as we’d like, it catches up to everyone eventually. Don’t believe me? Check out these 19 AskReddit users who shared these stories of terrible bullying – followed by lip-smackingly satisfying karmic revenge:

1. Quick Turnaround 

I once got punched in the pregnant stomach by my ex-fiancee (not the father of my baby). I told him that I hope he got hit by a car. Three days later I found out that he gotten hit by a truck while riding his bicycle to a friend’s house. He survived but had to have extensive surgery to correct his broken bones and save his life. He was uninsured so now he’s stuck with crippling hospital debt from being in ICU and having surgery. I did not have to wait very long for that one.

2. True Irony

There was a kid at my secondary school who used to mercilessly bully the kids in Learning Support.

Being a small school, they converted the old caretaker’s house into a safe environment for the people with learning difficulties to take certain lessons and receive support. It allowed a sorta half mainstream half specialist school environment for them.

Anyways this guy dropped out of school at 16 after 5 or so years of smoking around the back of this house and bullying the kids in LS.

3 years go by and he ends up being shot in the head by a modified air rifle. He now has some brain damage, memory and dexterity issues…and the only place he can retake GCSE’s is the same old house he spent years prowling outside to bully disabled kids.

3. No-Good Teacher

My English teacher in my 11th grade high-school English class fucked my entire life over in some strange way. She basically accused me of plagiarizing a paper in class. Honest to God I did not do it.

She called me a liar to my face, and ruined a lot of my life for a few good years. She reported the incident to the administration, and she tried to make them take legal action. But all I ended up getting was expulsion. My school took this stuff really seriously.

In the long run, it basically caused me to lose five or six scholarships that I really needed for college. I ended up having to go to community college. Nothing wrong with it, but she basically killed any chances I had at become a doctor (childhood dream, spent all of high school prepping for it.) I got most of my general stuff out of the way, and I have a great job now giving out loans at a bank. It pays well enough, but I don’t live any grand life, and I am not a doctor. On top of that most of my friends made fun of me for years about it.

One year after she accused me, her husband cheated on her. The year after I graduated, she got fired for being drunk on the job. About a month ago, the best thing ever happened. Guess who walked into the bank and asked for an extension on the loan she just recently took out to pay for her house? And guess who got the extension denied?

Needless to say, karma related or not. It was one of the highlights of my life!

4. “He should never have said no to me at all”

I was one of the least popular kids in my high school by far. I was too nerdy for even the nerds to hang out with. I spent most of my time with the outcasts.

I knew it was bad but I had a crush on a football player. (Can you blame me? What nerd didn’t?) I decided for once to take charge and do something for myself.

I asked him out.

He laughed in my face and told me I was too ugly for anyone to ever date. Called me ‘crow face’ which was a lovely nickname that caught on for a long time. Because of this, I had such awful self esteem and well into my 20s, I still couldn’t ask anyone out and even now still get to embarrassed sometimes. He ruined my self esteem completely.

After high school I began doing modeling gigs and cosplay events. I felt great and looked amazing.

Not too long after these shoots started popping up online, he messaged me on facebook telling me how gorgeous I looked and that he should have never said no to me at all.

I then got to calmly explain to him the years of self esteem issues I’d suffered from him and how I always pictured him humiliating me in front of our high school any time I wanted to ask someone out.

5. Two Decades Later

When I was about 8 and my brother was 11, he got in trouble for punching a kid in the face on the school bus (my brother claims he was defending someone else…I don’t really remember it all that clearly). My brother paid the price, was banned from the bus for a while, faced repercussions at school, and my Mom made him apologize to the kid he punched in person. A couple of months after the incident, the mother of the kid he sued my parents for mental anguish, claiming that her son now had crippling emotional problems stemming from the incident. She showed up at board meetings, tried to get my brother expelled, painted a picture of my family as shady and my brother as a delinquent and violent.

My parents ended up escaping the legal battle with a little bit of dignity intact, but feeling ostracized in our community of 90 people.

Fast forward…I’m now 27, my brother is 30. My Mom sends a newspaper clipping to him in the mail…it’s the indictment of the mom from our childhood. Come to find out, she had been embezzling money from her employer for 5 years…totaling more than $50,000. May have taken two decades, but she finally got what was meant for her.

6. “I had grown and changed so much, and he had stayed exactly the same”

A boy at school was an absolute asshole to me and my group of friends. I was raised as a fairly introverted kid, and thus gravitated to people of a like mind. He could basically smell the pacifism on us and exploited it to no end. Kicked the crap outta my friends and I every chance he got, humiliated us in front of the class, basically assigned us to the lowest social rungs for most of our schooling year. The relentless intimidation and thuggery reduced me to start hiding in my shell. I would prefer to read in the library than play or eat during lunch, lest his roaming bring us into contact again. Without a word of a lie, I read over 300 novels by the time I had finished school, and had sparked a life-long obsession with literature.

My own bio-father was a bully and violent, and it burned into me a deep-seated hatred of anyone who resorts to preying upon the weak. Daily I would fantasize about murdering him, or at least crippling him so he could know what it is like to be helpless. It is wrong, I know, but until you are in that situation, you never know. Leaving school and going to university led me to be a much more confident person, and I slowly learnt that you can be confrontational without someone being violent to you.

Fast forward to some 8 years after school. One Friday afternoon he walked into my place of business looking for something we sell, and (due to the nature of our business) revealed that since leaving school, he had been caught stealing a car, gone to juvenile prison (due to age), got busted for drug possession, more convictions etc., and been living at no fixed address. (I am in Australia, so the courts can be pretty weak and forgiving sometimes. Not that I care in this case. That he got some punishment is enough for me). We were his last chance for this particular product.

Before you judge too quickly, we had been at a fairly expensive private school, so he wasn’t exactly a down-on-his luck hobo to begin with – he had just never once stopped making bad decisions despite the opportunities given to him.

I projected an outwardly professional demeanor, (internally gladly and gleefully) and denied him service, and sent him dejectedly on his way. (I was required by policy, and had no actual authority over the choice, but it still felt good).

The best part? He didn’t recognize me. He looked at the man serving him, and only saw a man. I had grown and changed so much, and he had stayed exactly the same.

Looking back, it may be bad karma for me to take such pleasure in this. However, it gives me hope that sometimes the bad guy loses in the films AND in real life. I suffered a fucked up school/social life for 8 years because of him, and do not regret feeling some schadenfreude at his demise.

7. Facebook Friends

A guy I went to high-school with ‘friended’ me on Facebook. He was caught stealing from my house once back then, bragging about it to mutual friends (whom he thought would not tell me). After the incident we never spoke, although we had the same circle of friends, I kept my distance, he kept his.

Flash forward 20 years to now and we were ‘friends’ on Facebook. I have a pretty cool job in the music industry, good money and I travel the world. I usually add these former ‘friends’ just so they can see my life turned out pretty awesome while most of them are in our old home town working shit jobs…anyway.

He updated his status saying that he was devastated that someone stole something from his son and karma this, blah blah blah. Amongst all the posts from his friends being sorry for him, I simply wrote something like ‘Yeah, it’s really terrible when someone steals from you eh? That must really suck. Karma does have its way of evening things out though.’ I immediately started getting PMs from mutual friends congratulating me, who remembered the incident in school. He ‘un-friended’ me after that to my extreme pleasure.

8. Growth Spurt

I was a really small freshman in high school (like 5’2″) and looked like I was probably 12. I was always picked on for being the smallest. I transferred to a private school and fast forward 3 years and I go to a party with all the kids from my old school. I see one of the kids that always had it out for me because he was bigger at the time. Im now 6’1″, obviously a lot bigger than before. So he talks some shit to me and I give it back. He shoves me and without even thinking I one punch ko’d this dbag in front of about 80 people. Everyone thought I was a hero and then smoked some bowls with old friends. Great night.

9. Online Dating

This dick who used to torture me when I was in 7th grade, insisted I was ugly and should kill myself, is now on OkCupid. A few weeks ago, before I got into a relationship, he asked if we went to school together and told me I was hot. He didn’t recognize me, clearly, but it was delicious to know he’d been searching for months and no one was biting.

10. “Bullying sucks” 

I befriended a larger red headed girl when I was in grade 3 or 4. She was new to the school, everyone had their own friends and no one accepted her. I didn’t have many friends so I gladly accepted her. We became best friends. Fast forward to middle school. She was still large but got boobs and wore makeup, so she became popular. I was still a way too tall and too thin awkward girl with a lisp. Everyone made fun of me and she joined in so she could be cool. It got worse and worse until she started instigating it, would circle beat me with other girls and egg my house.

Fast forward again to high school. I filled out a bit and got better friends. About half way through grade 11 people started realizing how mean and fake she had become and turned on her. She was crying in the hall one day and I went up to her, asked if she was ok and offered my phone to her if she needed to call her mom. She transferred schools for grade 12 because she was being bullied. Funny thing is, I still feel bad for her. Bullying sucks.

11. Two Years

In 8th grade (age 13-14), this kid threw a wooden block at me, probably thinking, ‘Oh, let’s pick on the punk girl, that’ll be so hysterical!’ I blacked out for a good 10-15 seconds after it clocked me in the head. When I came to, he and his friends were all on the ground laughing at how funny this was. I ended up having to go to urgent care and not participate in gym class for a few days. His mom was on the school board and had a large role in the financial decisions of the school, so the administration was afraid to punish him and did nothing. My math teacher was this kid’s football coach and made him run extra while everyone else got to take a food/water break, but that was the only justice I got.

Fast forward two years: everyone is freaking out that this guy can’t play football for the JV team that year. He ended up spraining his back and breaking a few ribs from a drunken escapade into the woods the week before his sophomore year started, and the concussion that he sustained from this was severe enough that a second concussion could have caused serious mental damage.

Two years isn’t that long of a time, but considering there were witnesses and the kid should have been arrested and suspended at the very least, it seemed like a long time.

12. Dojo

A few years back I was the assistant manager at my karate studio. It was a slow, quiet day, when in walked Paul, my old bully from public school. I wasn’t sure at first, it had been a long time, and it was hard to tell.

I didn’t say anything. Paul was interested in joining the dojo, and I showed him around, discussed pricing, etc. I didn’t treat him any differently than I would any other potential client.

At the end of the tour, Paul decided to join our dojo. We sat down in the office and he filled out the paperwork. When he wrote his name out on the application, I knew for sure that this was, indeed, my old bully. The guy who used to torment me every single weekday. Who made me kneel in dog shit.

I still didn’t say anything until after pre-paid me for an entire year’s membership. As I walked him to the door, I smiled.

‘I’m really looking forward to training with you.’ I smiled.

‘Thanks, me too,’ Paul said.

‘You don’t recognize me, do you?’

‘No, should I?’

‘Yes. We went to school together, Grade 3 through 8. You bullied me every day, and made my life miserable. Can’t wait to see you in class.’

Paul went white, and walked out without another word. And never walked back in. He willingly threw away a year’s membership payment, almost $500, rather than have to be in the same class with me.

13. Riding the Bus

A high school bully humiliated me on the bus. I was the last stop on the bus, so there was always a lack of seats. I got on the bus and spotted one empty seat next to someone. I walked over and sat next to him.

He turned to me and said ‘I didn’t say you could sit there.’ I replied ‘There were no other seats.’ I guess he didn’t care, because he repeated his previous statement. I just ignored him.

Then he shouted at the top of his lungs ‘GET OUTTA MY SEAT!’ I was taken aback. I couldn’t believe he just shouted that on the bus at me, the situation felt surreal. I saw everyone on the bus start to look in my direction.

I froze up. I started weighing my options. I knew I couldn’t take this guy in a fight. As you should be able to tell from this situation. As I’m still pondering what to do, he shouts again ‘I SAID, GET THE OUTTA MY SEAT!’

Then before I can find a way out, he kicks me out of the seat. I stand up in the middle of the bus and I’m met with roaring laughter from all the other kids on the bus.

The bully stands up ready to fight, and I just walk away. Even if I was able to beat him in a 1 on 1 fight, I knew he was the type to come back the next day with 5 of his friends to beat you to a pulp.

I walked to the back of the bus and sat [there]. I wasn’t about to let things end like that though. So, I planned for my revenge. I started catching the city bus to school, instead of the school bus to avoid further humiliation. Things blew over eventually and everyone forgot about that incident…but I didn’t.

I waited until one day, I saw that bully on the bus with a grill lighter smoking weed. Then he took the grill lighter and smacked a guy in the face with it, and he started crying. I knew this was my chance.

I created an anonymous email address and sent an email to my school officials. I told them about the bully smoking weed on the bus and smacking that kid in the face with a grill lighter. I made sure not to say anything that could give my identity away. That way, no one would know who ‘tattled.’

The school investigated the issue and found the evidence they needed from eye witness testimonies on the bus. That bully was expelled from school and I was free to ride the bus in peace.

14. New School

When I was 8 my parents moved us out of our hometown to a place with some room, couple of fields that type of thing, not more than ten minutes out of town, but because of the district boundaries I had to switch to a new school. The new school was about 1/8 the size of my previous school and all the other kids had been going to school since grade 1 or something together (hell they could of been friends before starting school for all I know) and here is the new kid in grade 3 with them and they didn’t like me…for whatever reason. It started harmlessly enough but over the next 2 years thing escalated quickly from the random name calling, a couple of pushy shovey matches to rocks being thrown at a bus stop.

My parents had always told me fighting is not the answer and I stuck to that while keeping my mouth shut about the bullying, until my little sister got hit in the face with a rock and had her forehead cut open. Everything came out after that incident and the teachers? Didn’t do a thing. My father finally had had enough and told me the next time someone [messed] with me I was to fight back, no matter what. So that started a 2 year war with me going home at least once a week suspended for fighting with someone, I got knocked around a bit at first but quickly learned I had a natural ability for fighting. Things got worse, instead of fighting one on one it would be three or four of them. Once I got choked out from behind so bad I had bruises around my neck and I had basically lost consciousness when a parent finally saw and broke it all up. Two kids got a talking to from the cops and nothing more was done, It took actual death threats from one of the kids that was bothering me the most on my parents answering machine to have him expelled from school. Once Douchebag got expelled things calmed down.

Fast forward 3 or 4 years…we are in high school, douchebag from before basically is a burnout first year doesn’t do much, gets suspended, doesn’t show up much. I don’t touch drugs, do my homework and play sports (hockey, football, rugby). The odd time he has harassed me but nothing too major I shrug it off, I’m coming into my own in high school, good group of friends etc. To this day I don’t know what possessed him to do this but myself and a few friends were outside at a party our senior year and I am looking at my friend talking and he shouts ‘watch out’ and I instinctively try to duck and luckily bring my shoulders up a bit, caught a baseball bat to the shoulder, which jumped up and smashed me in side of the face on a glancing blow. I went down to one knee, majorly rattled but still mostly with it and turned around too find douchebag holding a bat and looking at me like ‘how are you even still conscious?’ At this point, I lose my [mind], came off the floor with a righteous upper cut that knocked him on his [butt] and then jumped on him and rained down I’m told upwards to 40-50 punches while he feebly tried to block. Finally some people who came to their sense hauled me off him.

The final result was interesting, I ended up with a very nasty bruise on the side my face and shoulder, hurt like hell. Went for X-rays nothing was broken etc. luckily. Dbag on the other hand ended up with a broken nose, lost 3 teeth, fractured jaw, and countless cuts, two HUGE black eyes, and a ruptured the blood packages on the side of his eyes. The cops never got involved and that was the last time he ever, well anyone actually, ever fucked with me in high school.

Fast forward a couple of more years(8 more like it) , last time I had heard dbag was hooked on crack, selling it and sold 5 kg to an undercover cop and is in prison for 5-10 years. Karma is GREAT.

15. They deserve each other…

My college roommate secretly slept with my boyfriend while I was at class for a year (I routinely took more than a full course load and was in math/science classes or study groups every morning). One day I walked in on them screwing when class was cancelled. Moved out. More angry at her than heartbroken. Lost most of my friends through the breakup.

Fast forward 5 years later: those 2 throw an expensive engagement party at the guy’s parents’ beach house (attended by some still-mutual friends). She caught him boning one of the waitresses for the catering company in a bathroom before the toasts. They still got married.

16. “She screwed herself”

My mom treats me worse than my younger brothers, and it eventually always bites her. My favorite is the time she saw it coming.

See, when we were teens, my brothers were always allowed to borrow my mother’s car, but I wasn’t. My grandmother even warned my mother that she would need me one day and I’d tell her no. Mom blew her off because why would she need me, and it’s not in my nature to say no.

Fast forward a few years later when I have a car and my mom gets into an accident that leaves her temporarily car-less. Mom never asked to borrow my car even though she wanted to because she knew I had every right to say no, and she admitted it and apologized because she screwed herself over not being nicer to me as a teen.

The thing is, it’s not in my nature to say no. If she had asked, I would have said yes. Her guilt was the karma.

17. CYANIDE & HAPPINESS GUY!

True story. I got bullied for roughly seven years straight daily when I was in secondary school (second level education in the UK/Ireland, taken from the ages 11-18). I had kids tell me I should die and I was emotionally destroyed by everyone who treated me like the most useless, void piece of crap. I didn’t feel like I should exist. I sat at home contemplating just ending it a lot.

I always loved art, drawing and writing. During my adolescence I retreated to the Internet. I didn’t want to go to clubs where those people were, yet could still talk to people. I started posting animated Flash cartoons and comics to other people who were like me for critique. Due to the bullying directed at me, I developed a rather sad sensibility towards life and an ability to quickly come back verbally at anyone who wanted to give me abuse. It was a defense mechanism for sure, but the tone shown through in the animations and comics that I drew. Through all that, I met friends and eventual co-workers.

I now draw a cartoon called ‘Cyanide & Happiness.’

The local papers write about me. That school held an assembly in my honor once recently (I was told this by a friend who now works there). I live overseas and Jonathan Ross comes to hang out with me at Comic-Con every year, where again pictures of us appear in the local paper. My former bullies know all about this. The particularly bad ones now either avoid me in bars now or try to be my best mate, and I walk around my home town beaming.

There was one kid in particular who would stand behind me in assembly every morning (each year – grade to Americans – was arranged into a line in the main hall) and headbutt me in the back of the head for a laugh with the others around me. The back of my head was severely bruised for months at a time, and early on it’d leave me in tears with the physical pain and lack of respect for me. I’d dread every morning. I’d hear them behind me snickering and discussing whether he should do it or not. I couldn’t turn around to stop them, because then I’d get yelled at by teachers for not paying attention to the front. I’d have my hand at the back of my head to protect myself. I’d hear him say ‘c’mon Dave, put your hand down. You’re safe.’ I’d eventually relent and he’d do it anyway. They’d laugh. I’d turn around and ask him to please not do that, because my head was in so much pain from the trauma he’d dealt it before. He said okay, whilst smirking. I’d turn around, I’d hear them snickering and he’d do it. Again. This went on for around two years. That kid is now a hardcore drug addict, and doing very poorly in life.

Feels good man.

18. Cheating Ex

This girl I was dating in college decided to break up with me, saying that she couldn’t handle a relationship at the time. 2 days later, she came running back to me in tears, talking about how she’d made a huge mistake leaving me, and blah blah blah. Me being a sucker for emotions, took her back, and tried to put it in the past.

A couple of weeks later, we have plans to go out, but she calls to cancel at the last minute because she was feeling really sick. I decided to surprise her by bringing her a nice home cooked meal of Chicken Soup and Mashed Potatoes. When I show up at her apartment, I can hear her having sex from the hallway. I pound on her door as hard as I can, and when she answers it, sure enough, she’s wrapped in a robe with her ex boyfriend naked in the living room. I leave the food, tell her to go to hell, and leave.

Fast forward a few months, and I’m at a party, and she’s there with all her friends and some new boy. Any time we were in the same room, she would grab him and start passionately trying to suck his face off to make me jealous (I knew this was her move, because she used me to do it to other guys a couple of times). Later on, her best friend comes up to me (while she’s doing her whole jealousy thing), and asks if I wanna come back to her place. We walk out together without her even noticing. Let’s just say revenge sex is the best kind of sex 😉

19. “Wannabe gangster”

I’m a stout guy and I can fight, and nobody messed with me in school. I never messed with anybody else either. However, I took classes for part of the day at another school in downtown Indianapolis, and for some reason, one guy there wanted to start trouble. He and his wannabe gangster friends would mess with me, hang out by my car, etc., trying to get me to fight. I wasn’t interested in a one on five fight, or any fight really, since I was graduating in a few months.

I just ignored the guy, told him to fuck off and it wasn’t going to happen. Eventually he dropped it and tried being nice to me. Didn’t work. Anyway, a few years later, I went to the Yankee Candle store at the mall to get my mom a candle for Christmas. I’m waiting in line, and the guy working the register looks familiar. Took a few minutes to place him, then I realized who he was. When I walked up I kinda smirked, and when he took my debit card to swipe it and saw my name, the look on his face was priceless. Guess he didn’t think he’d be recognized in a different town working a job at 22 years old for $8 an hour. It was sweet.

Thanks for reading!

The post 19 Stories That Prove Karma is a Real Bitch appeared first on UberFacts.

20+ Class Clowns Who Successfully Took on “The Man”

Every school has at least one: the class clown, the cutup, the jokester. The guy or gal who has an uncanny ability to say the exact right thing at the exact right time to make everyone burst out laughing.

These stories from AskReddit users will make you laugh and fondly remember your own class clown. Or perhaps it was you!

1. A whole garbage bag?

A dude in my math class brought in a garbage bag full of donuts once. Like, 20 minutes after the class started he just breezes in with this magical bag of pastries.

2. Legends of Clowns Past

Not in my time, but legends in my school:

We had a weird old building that was added to a half dozen times. Outside of the third floor windows there’s a narrow ledge of the 2nd floor roof a couple of feet down, but you can’t really see it unless you stick your head out and look straight down.

One day the class had a sub. Since it was May the school windows were wide open (no screens either since these were ancient windows and school isn’t in session during summer bug season.) In the middle of class, a student gets up, yells that he’s “sick of life”, and jumps out of the window… (The student then walked over to a window in the adjoining hall and climbed back inside)

Another time during typing the students knew the typewriters were getting replaced at the end of the year. So when they had a sub with a couple of days left in the semester, a student just randomly stood up and say’s he’s sick of typing and throws the typewriter out the window.

And finally there was a teacher that without exception would come in five minutes late, then would stomp on the papers in the wastebasket. One day the students quickly emptied it, ran down to the restroom and filled it with water, and then floated some crumpled papers on top.

During my time four of my classmates including the class clown “borrow” a car from a friend of one of their mothers, then head to Reno over MEA weekend (a four day weekend for a teachers convention in my state). they get as far as western Wyoming before being pulled over for speeding. The friend didn’t press charges but they spent the weekend in jail until the parent of one of them could fly out there and get them. If this sounds mild, consider this was a private, conservative school. The school suspends them for a day and then they’re back in class on Tuesday.

3. I like this one

Jumped out of a 3rd floor window to go get a better view of a fight happening in the parking lot. This was the end of June so everyone was getting a little insane by that point. He was always nuts though. Now he’s a father with like 3 or 4 children, unreal.

4. Okay…

Hid live chickens in lockers.

5. Public execution

He got expelled for holding a public hanging of a teddy bear in the 1st grade classroom. He even brought rope for the noose. The 1st grade was not amused.

6. Good on so many levels

He recited the “friends, Romans, countrymen” monologue for class but dressed up in a suit and delivered it like a southern Baptist preacher. The funniest part was that he was Jewish

7. …Ouch

Came to school during​ school spirit week( a week where we had a more relaxed dress code if it had to do with school spirit) wearing nothing but boxers and duct tape in the schools colors.

8. In hiding

Hid inside a cabinet and made random noises when the teacher was teaching and the teacher was getting mad thinking it was this other kid and was about to write him a referral and wouldn’t believe him when he said it wasn’t him and it some kid in the cabinet.

9. Just like Jeff Spicoli

Pretty sure it’s not the wildest thing he did, but the best thing he did was ask to be dismissed in the middle of class, then came back 10 mins later with a full pizza meal combo (including an order of garlic bread bites for me). He then proceeded to turn to the unbemused teacher and stated “I found this in the bathroom”.

10. Bang!

He duct taped a condom over the assistant commandant’s exhaust pipe. He started driving away, it inflated to the size of a beach ball and sounded like a shotgun when it finally popped.

11. Now that’s commitment

Crapped their pants on purpose when the teacher wouldn’t let him go to the bathroom until break time.

12. Savage

A kid was bragging to the teacher that he had a girlfriend (this conversation was in front of a class of 30). He was talking tough like he was the greatest player in the world. Calling himself a true master of the ladies.
The teacher asked him “where did you guys meet?”
Then out of nowhere, the class clown shouts: “page four of male escorts on Craigslist.”
Still the most savage remark I’ve ever heard. Kids were falling out of their chairs from laughter. The kid looked like his soul was ripped out.

13. Foghorn

Our class clown had the two wonderful abilities of being able to play the baritone sax and circular breathe. School talent show. He enters. What does he do? Blows a super long low A note for ten minutes straight without stopping. Like one, long low, note. Like a foghorn. And he made everyone sit there, while he blew this long, loud shaking note. That was a fun talent show.

14. Stuck

Superglued his head to the desk

15. Teach

Our class clown wasn’t a student, rather the teacher.

Our teacher for units 3&4 Physics (VCE in Victoria, Australia) was a well known larrikin. Found every excuse he could to teach us with experiments involving liquid nitrogen, sodium, and other such dangerous things. The school had actually banned him from using potassium in this “experiments” because he had set a room on fire by accident. All the danger aside, he was the most engaging teacher I have ever had and I learnt so much from him.

Towards the end of my graduating year, my whole class (about 10 people) were all 18 years old, and so we would go to the local pub for lunch every Friday for a counter meal and a drink. We happened to have a double period of Physics after lunch and accidentally stayed past the start of class. Fifteen minutes into the period, and the most responsible girl in our class gets a call from our teacher.
“Were are you guys? Class started 15 minutes ago”
“Sorry, teachers name, we went to the pub for lunch and lost track of time”
“Are you all there? Do any of you have a text book?”
“Uh, yeah?”
“Give me five minutes”

Sure enough, 5 minutes later, He turns up and proceeds to run us through our lesson, in the pub, with the caveat that it was not to happen again. As far as I know, He somehow retroactively passed it off as some sort of last minute excursion and because we were all legally adults, we didn’t need to get our parents permission.
Truly a madman.

16. CHAOS

As a senior prank, he left a morning class to “use the bathroom”; instead, he went out to the parking lot where his older brother (who had already graduated) was parked with a moving van. They re-entered, bringing with them several cages containing at least 30 live squirrels, which they proceeded to set loose all over inside the school, as well as HUNDREDS of golf balls. When the bell rang and that period ended, it was fucking CHAOS in the hallways.

17. A good one to end with

I was a student teacher in a middle school and had to monitor a study hall during the last period of the day. The kids sat at tables in the lunch room, so the place was pretty disgusting and most of the students were antsy because they just wanted to go home. One day a group of 6 guys all had their hands up so I went over to see what they wanted.

They told me there was something wrong with Brian — the class clown. I asked him if he was all right, but he just sat staring into space. I asked him again, and he opened his mouth but instead of answering, ten flies came out and wandered all over his face. He had pulled their wings off and then put them in his mouth.

18. Quiet time

High school chemistry. the troublemaker kid has been assigned the only seat by the window.

Chemistry teacher is going on and writing on the black board when the kid opens the window, makes a snowball, and zings it right past her head to hit the black board a few inches from her. She turns around and says “who threw that? who did it? I’m not teaching anymore until someone fesses up”

The window was still open, and he was the only person seated anywhere near it.
We had quiet time the rest of the day.

19. Disgusting AF

After class, he went to the bathroom and took a huge dump into his beanie.

Afterwards, he hung up the beanie in the wardrobe in front of the classroom, so the turd could hang there all night.

The next day, nobody wasn’t allowed to enter the building, due to an ‘unexplainable’ smell. The principle walked around the building to find the source of the smell. He came closer to the beanie, smelled on it, took it of and looked inside of it – he went home for the rest of the day afterwards.

20. “What a legend”

Dude went streaking from the far east side of the school, past the office, through the cafeteria, out the west doors.

He had a toque over his junk at first but that fell off at some point.
He came out the west doors with his junk in his hand screaming “I CAN’T BELIEVE I MADE IT THIS FAR!!”, jumped into his friend’s getaway jeep and rode off.

Fucking beautiful. What a legend, man.
Teachers used to just walk away when he started acting up, I can vividly recall each teachers “I am not dealing with this shit today” expression every time they interacted with him. 🙂
I miss him

21. Never heard this one before

I knew a guy who brought a prostitute to prom. It was pretty damn funny when I heard about it, but he was a couple years older.

22. That’s horrifying

Drank some milk, turned his eyelids inside out, squirted milk out of his tear ducts.

Still to this day the most disturbing thing I have ever seen in person.

23. TP

In high school our class clown wrapped the principles car completely in toliet paper.

24. Flock of seagulls

Our class was on the ground floor and the window faced our soccer field, and on that rainy day we saw a huge flock of seagulls just hanging out on the grass.
My friend raises her hand and asks to go to the washroom.

About a minute later, she’s outside running through the flock of seagulls waving her hands and yelling.

She came back inside a little winded and damp from the rain. We had a hard time not falling on the floor laughing.

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This Woman Silenced Her Bullies in the Best Possible Way

The world can be so cruel to anyone who seems a little different, and the internet has only made it easier for hateful cowards to hide behind their keyboards as they spew their vitriol everywhere.

That’s what was happening when a young Sikh girl named Balpreet found a snapshot of herself online along with some negative comments about her appearance – particularly her facial hair.

However, her response, thoughtful and affecting, is what ended up garnering attention. Her self-confidence, self-awareness, and grace in the face of ruthless bullying is a thing of beauty. It is something we could all aspire to reach.

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You go, girl. You go.

Source

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British Schools Are Getting Rid of Analog Clocks Because Kids Can’t Read Them

Remember that slight buzzing sound of those old, industrial clocks on the wall when you were growing up. I sure do, because all I did was stare at them all day waiting to get out of class.

Well, it looks like future generations of students in the United Kingdom will never get the pleasure of staring at those analog clocks because those relics are being removed from classrooms because kids can’t read them.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

You read that right. School kids in the U.K. can’t read the clocks and are getting majorly stressed out because they don’t know how much time they have left during exams. Of course, this is a sign of the times. With almost everything in our lives leaning towards the digital spectrum, it’s not too hard to believe that kids wouldn’t know how to tell time in 2019.

Malcolm Trobe, the deputy general secretary at the Association of School and College Leaders, says, “You don’t want them to put their hand up to ask how much time is left. Schools will inevitably be doing their best to make young children feel as relaxed as the can be. There is actually a big advantage in using digital clocks in exam rooms because it is much less easy to mistake a time on a digital clock when you are working against time.”

Photo Credit: Wikimedia Commons

And this is not the only alarming trend among school kids in regard to technological advances. A pediatric occupational therapist in England named Sally Payne said that young kids are having difficulties holding pens because they are so used to iPads and other digital devices. Payne said, “It’s easier to give a child an iPad than encouraging them to do muscle-building play such as building blocks, cutting and sticking, or pulling toys and ropes. Because of this, they’re not developing the underlying foundation skills they need to grip and hold a pencil.”

Very strange times we live in…

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This Viral Math Trick Has Everyone Wondering “How Did I Never Learn This??!”

For those of you who constantly struggle with math, take heart: this simple trick has been making the rounds on the internet, and it makes it insanely easy to calculate percentages.

Most of us use calculators now to do things like percentages, and if I asked you to do 4% of 75 in your head, you’d probably just keep scrolling until I told you the answer. According to Ben here, though, there’s a super easy way to simplify percentages.

Not my way of going like, okay I can do 10% and 1% so maybe just do halfway between that minus a bit and voila 4%-ish!

No. “Maths whizz” Ben Stephens can help you get the actual answer, so hold onto your seats.

The answer is 3 – which is a lot easier when you’re trying to get 75% of 4 rather than 4% of 75.

Yes.

Image Credit: Twitter

“18% of 50 feels hard to calculate,” Ben wrote. “But 50% of 18 is a doddle, right?”

Because both answers are 9.

Truly.

While there were a few mathematicians out there living up to their reputations…

 

Image Credit: Twitter

Image Credit: Twitter

Most people were thrilled and amazed and all of the proper responses to such a trick.

Did you know how to do this? I sure didn’t, and now I feel like a maths whizz too!

Or a math whizz, as we say here in the States.

Either way.

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In 2008 and at the age of 45…

In 2008 and at the age of 45, Flea, bass player of the multiplatinum rock band Red Hot Chili Peppers, enrolled as a freshman at University of Southern California’s music program to learn the academic side of music.

Hilarious Teacher Makes Fun of His Failing Students Using Memes

Being a professor is NOT an easy job!

They’ve got the very serious duty of shaping the minds of tomorrow’s leaders… at a time when those leaders would rather be getting drunk and laid. It’s definitely not for the weak-hearted. You’ve got to handle things like making sure students pay attention, making sure they arrive on time, and giving exams in hopes they will all pass.

David Red, a professor at St. John’s River State College in Florida, takes his teaching to a new level by poking fun at failing students. But it’s not what you think! He’s relating to the 21st-century student by meeting them on their level.

He told Bored Panda, ““Students generally seem to really like the memes or really anything I do that makes it feel to them like I’m actually trying to talk to them and not just reading from a script or text. For example, in one of my classes this year I wore pink every Wednesday and the first test was entirely themed on Mean Girls. Some of them started wearing pink on Wednesdays too and they really enjoyed it. It became almost like a “team color”.

Here are the best, most wild memes he’s created.

10. The IT

Photo Credit: Pupperish

2. This is what it’s all about

Photo Credit: Facebook, David Red

3. Dr. Evil?

Photo Credit: Facebook, David Red

4. Pitbull

Photo Credit: Pupperish

5. Regina George

Photo Credit: Pupperish

6. Retake? Anyone? Anyone?

Photo Credit: Facebook, David Red

7. Robert Downey Jr.

Photo Credit: Pupperish

8. Maury Povich

Photo Credit: Pupperish

9. Antonie Dodson

Photo Credit: Pupperish

10. Gatsby

Photo Credit: Pupperish

11. That sums it up

Photo Credit: Pupperish

12. For all the teachers out there

Photo Credit: Pupperish

“Anything that makes the students feel like I put my real-self into the class helps, whether it’s memes or one of these other gimmicks. If my real-self is in the room, then their real-self shows up too. And when they’re fully present like that, they learn.”

Makes me wish I had a teacher in college like him!

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15 Incredibly Helpful Books for Kids Struggling with Anxiety

We tend to think that things like anxiety or depression wouldn’t affect children, but that’s actually not true. As a matter of fact, these can often be tougher for kids because they tend to go unaddressed, or thought of as just being a “phase.”

These 15 books were written to help parents approach the subject of anxiety and other negative feelings. They range from illustrated children’s stories to workbooks that actually help kids cope with anxiety.

1. “Is a Worry Worrying You?

Photo Credit: Amazon

2. “Help Your Dragon Deal With Anxiety

Photo Credit: Amazon

3. “What to Do When You Worry Too Much

Photo Credit: Amazon

4. “Stuff That Sucks

Photo Credit: Amazon

5. “My Anxious Mind

Photo Credit: Amazon

6. “The Worry Workbook for Kids

Photo Credit: Amazon

7. “Listening With My Heart

Photo Credit: Amazon

8. “Wilma Jean the Worry Machine

Photo Credit: Amazon

9. “Always

Photo Credit: Amazon

10. “Outsmarting Worry

Photo Credit: Amazon

11.  “Wemberly Worried

Photo Credit: Amazon

12. “Coping Skills for Kids Workbook

Photo Credit: Amazon

13. “Tiffany Sly Lives Here Now

Photo Credit: Amazon

14. “Up and Down the Worry Hill

Photo Credit: Amazon

15. “Pilar’s Worries

Photo Credit: Amazon

Now get to reading so you can kick that anxiety in the butt!

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Museum Workers Reveal the Coolest Things That Aren’t on Public Display

Back when I was in college, I spent a few months working at a local museum, and let me tell you: if you think the stuff on display is cool, you’d be absolutely mind-boggled by the stuff that’s in storage/behind-the-scenes.

There are plenty of things that have been rotated out and might be put back out some day, but there’s also tons of stuff like rare artifacts and ancient documents that, sadly, will never see the light of day.

These AskReddit users share the coolest things they’ve seen in museums that guests don’t get to view.

1. Weapons

“I interned at the US navy museum for a few months, primarily in the armoury

There is a long list of awesome stuff, but the best was all the Vietnam era SEAL weapons. China lake grenade launcher (002), prototype .50 rifles, modified shotguns, suppressed m16e1’s…..

And that’s before the really spooky stuff like a g3 lacking all external markings and a soviet SVD donated by the state department in the late 60’s…”

2. Storage

“My mom was a helicopter pilot for a tour company and Jay Leno had a hanger next door to her company’s for storage. The security guard let me walk around and the amount of rad sh*t he has in his back up storage (not even his real shop or main storage) is insane.”

3. Great grandfather

“Obligatory don’t work at a museum but……. My great grandfather built a homemade motorized bicycle that was put in the Billy the Kid Museum in Fort Sumner NM. I went to see it a couple of years ago and when the curator found out I was related, he took me in the back and showed me a homemade sawmill my great grandfather had also built that they had taken off display because they didn’t have room for it.”

4. Cold storage

“Didn’t end up becoming a museum professional, but had a museum studies class in college that took some behind-the-scenes field trips with local curators. The wildest thing I saw as the cold storage room at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. It’s where they keep all the taxidermy, and there are a TON of animals.

Imagine walking through a giant refrigerator full of animals that don’t go together at all “in real life”, cheetahs next to wolves, moose next to lions, gazelles with raccoons between their legs. Shelves full of squirrels and birds. So many birds–like going down a grocery store aisle, except it’s full of birds. You’re surrounded by animals, but everything is motionless and staring at you with glass eyes. It was completely surreal.”

5. A lot of guns

“One castle type museum I did my work experience in I was taken in a room just full of guns.

I am a lot older and work in a museum again now so I know how things are stored carefully, in controlled conditions, but these guns were just piled about. There were ton of musket looking guns but two that stood out was something that looked like a revolver but with a barrel like a canon, and a musket that was much bigger barrel and eleven of my feet long.

It was in the early nineties so I’m sure they’ve tidied up a bit now, but so so many guns.”

6. “Best job ever”

“Hmmmmm. Where to even start? Fun fact – most museums only have about 0.1-10% of their collections on display at any given time.

My desk used to be right next to an atomic bomb.

A couple of times, I was in Charles Lindbergh’s pants. Also Neil Armstrong’s boots. Also saw Buzz Aldrin’s underpants.

I got to hold a pair of Roald Amundsen’s skis.

SPACE SUIT STORAGE. It’s like a morgue but better. Fun story – one of the best ways to transport space suits is in coffin boxes. Always tripping over coffin boxes everywhere on shipping days.

A drum hand-collected by Margaret Mead that’s one of three like it left in the world (iirc).

Victorian hair art. So disturbing we didn’t have any on display at that museum. As one classmate said, “that’s not art, that’s the shower drain!”.

Airplanes made out of plywood.

An actual military medal that was a hand flipping the bird – Order of the Rigid Digit. Still my favorite use of taxpayer dollars to this day.

Napoleon’s handwritten notes for his autobiography. There was also a collection of prints with his face that made excellent memes among my friends.

James Doolittle’s pilot license signed by Orville Wright.

Lindbergh’s prize check for crossing the Atlantic.

135 laxatives previously belonging to Charles Lindbergh. Fun story – Jane Addams used the same kind of laxatives.

Used tissues. Used bandaids. Random trash. Unidentifiable fragments of wood. A board that was supposed to call cats to it or some weird hocus pocus like that. All things we had to take very seriously and treat with the same care we did everything else because some dumdum decided to accession everything.

A very wide range of baccula, aka penis bones.

Dinosaur storage, need I say more?

The super secret Egyptian temple buried in the bowels of the Field Museum.

Teddy Roosevelt’s samurai outfit, gifted to him at a state dinner by the Japanese ambassador. He then drunkenly put it on and ran around the White House in it, iirc.

A second atomic bomb.

Ugh, best job ever. I make myself jealous sometimes. Even when I had to alphabetize and chronologize 653 barf bags.”

7. Mummies

“My wife is an art curator. In her younger life, she was working at a museum and came across a box that said, “mummy head”.

Guess what was in there? A mummy head, as advertised.

My favorite experience from visiting her at work (besides meeting Cheech Marin… seriously, dude! He borrowed my guitar!) was blowing as much time as I wanted looking at a Warhol print from 1966. It was mind blowing to see all that effort to make something seem shallow and simple.

By the way, prints are awesome. You can buy art for less than the cost of furniture, directly from the artist. You are putting beer in one’s mug, gas in the van, alimony in the envelope.”

8. Super Important

“I went to a Super Important Museum (at least in my city? I don’t think I should name it) with my 11th grade anthropology class, and apparently my teacher had an in with someone there. We were brought to a conference room where there was an Incan mummy just sitting there on the table. This mummy had been specifically freed from the unknown depths of the museum to say hello to us.

It was a teenage girl sort of hunched over, and I remember she had braids. My teacher encouraged us all to touch the mummy. Like, barehanded. I seriously doubt every tour got to touch it. We were totally allowed. “You’re never going to get another chance to do this,” my teacher said.

I touched the mummy’s hand, I think, and the dress over her knee, vaguely horrified at the whole situation. Was trying to eat my fries a couple hours later and thought about the fact that I’d touched a dead body with those same fingers I was using to eat lunch and almost retched. I have not in fact ever gotten another chance to touch a mummy.”

9. Huey

“I volunteer at an air museum. We had just got a Huey helicopter to restore and it was in the maintenance hangar. Some Vietnam vets that flew a Huey found out that we got one in. We let them into the maintenance hangar to check it out and while they were looking at it they discovered it was the Huey that they flew in Vietnam. They had no idea that it had survived.

I was just hanging out and got to witness the whole thing.”

10. Creepy

“I volunteered in collections at a state history museum for a while. Two things especially have stuck with me.

A huge collection of dolls that are stored head down with their tiny little hands (and sometimes eyes) wrapped. It’s just as creepy as it sounds.

Also one time I got to vacuum a buffalo hide. That was fun.”

11. Hidden

“The prison cell door which housed Rudolph Hess when he died in 1987. It is preserved in a back room in a museum in the US. I was told by a staff member that it was not on display, and likely never would be, due to avoiding neo-Nazi attention.”

12. Zoo life

“A few things come to mind:

I spent several years working as a field biologist surveying headwater streams on private timber company land in the backcountry of Oregon. A lot of that land is only accessible through locked forestry gates, but it is many thousands of acres of gorgeous wild land that the public typically doesn’t get to see or access.

I used to work at the Oregon Zoo as well and have been allowed to go behind a lot of the animal exhibits to help clean or feed or whatever. That was tons of fun. The rhinos were my favorite – very friendly, and absolutely immovable objects when you touch them.

Now as a scientist I get to do some unique and fascinating work at times in some high-tech or high-profile labs, and also often work on research vessels at sea. Most of this is not directly open to the public.”

13. Words from a veteran museum worker

“I’ve worked at multiple museums and Archives/Special Collections sections of libraries (in various capacities). Some of the highlights:

The full collection first editions of Mildred Benson’s Nancy Drew hardbacks from the 1930s
the autographed Arthur Rackham-illustrated copy of Grimm’s Fairy Tales that we had sitting on our shelves in the Archives of my university, owned by his aunt-by-marriage and donated to us
The Virginia Museum of Transportation had so many cool railroad bits and bobs floating around in storage, especially while they were working on the restoration of the 611 steam engine.
a Lewis and Clark original map of the Pacific Northwest, kept in the Library of Congress archives because it’s too fragile to display

Another one that I just remembered:

the beautiful illuminated manuscripts and Book of Days from the Middle Ages that my university had sitting around in Special Collections. We occasionally wheeled them out for the Medieval Lit undergrads, but other than that they were generally locked up.”

14. Experiments

“Worked in a science museum. It’s not exactly not public, but when the museum was closed or on slow days we used to test out ideas we found on the internet for science activities. Anything from liquid nitrogen hurricanes to green and purple fireballs – if we had the ingredients, we could try it.”

15. Middle of nowhere

“I used to work in a local historical society, and their exhibit space was very small. Someone donated some land and a large barn to the historical society. My co-worker and I went to go check it out, and there was a huge horse-drawn hearse inside and literally nothing else. It was super creepy. It would be cool to display somewhere in the right exhibit, but we didn’t have space or the audience. As far as I know, it’s still during there in that barn in the middle of nowhere.”

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