People Brainstorm How They’d Drink a 12-Pack Everyday for a $1 Million Prize

Every so often, someone comes to AskReddit with a totally absurd hypothetical question. In this case, the question was about how one would manage to drink a 12-pack of beer every single day for a month while still holding down a job. The prize?

A million dollars.

As many Redditors pointed out, drinking a 12-pack every day is just standard for many alcoholics. But for the rest of us? People came up with some truly creative solutions to this truly random problem.

1. Vacation time, duh.

“Use four weeks of vacation and head to Mexico. Drink no other beer but Tecate Light. Come back home. Collect $1 million.”

“Save up a month’s worth of leave. Make the month February. Stay at home and just enjoy media.”

2. Drink light beer.

“My father was a psychiatrist and worked on drug and alcohol wards.

The typical American beer has a alcohol level that is designed to give a buzz but not get you drunk. A twelve pack fits perfectly in this business model.

He treated many functioning alcoholics who drank a case of beer a day.

A twelve pack was the most common amount drunk.”

3. Start right after work ends.

“Drink after work. I’m a reasonably-sized guy with a passable tolerance, I’ll just start as soon as my day ends. Mornings gonna suuuuck but I can live with it for a month for a flat mil.”

4. Or split it up throughout the day.

“Definitely need to split it up and hide some of the drinking. Down a couple when you get up (before you brush your teeth of course). Sneak one over lunch, maybe another around 3 as well. 8 is much more manageable in terms of not ending up rough the next morning.”

“1.wake up one beer get ready for the day

2. 2 beers at lunch time (food slows the absorption of alcohol into the liver)

3. Get home and start cranking as many as you can before dinner at 6 or 7.

4. Hopefully only have 3 left for after dinner which means you’ll be done before 9 with ample time to do prepare yourself so you are not hungover the next day”

5. Or even throughout the night.

“I came up with the same, although I set an alarm for 3 am and pound two then back to bed.”

6. Non-alcoholic beer.

“Make it non alcoholic beer et voila.”

7. Open all the beers at once.

“Open 9 beer and let them flatten in the fridge during work (To prevent being all bloated and gassy). Moment I get off start drinking. Eat dinner while drinking. Follow every 3 beer with water, walk to the grocery store, drunk groceries should naturally grab me alot of carbs which will be good. Also help me walk off alot of calories. Chug a quarter gallon of water before bed (Pee breaks constantly). Go to bed early! alarm set early, sugar and Tylenol ready to go in the morning try to work out before work to burn more calories, lots of veg and lean protein for lunch.”

8. Make a deal with the boss.

“”Hey boss, if I can slam a case of beers every day for a month and don’t get fired I get a hundred grand!” Offer a 50/50 split and boom $950,000 in the pocket.”

9. Work retail.

“Work in retail. Nobody cares.”

“Worked in retail, sent people home for showing up drunk. Didn’t fire them, was more expensive to train someone new who’d also have their own issues that to just send this guy home a couple times a month.”

10. Be a high-functioning alcoholic.

“Start drinking as soon as I get home from work until I go to sleep. Rinse repeat. So no changes really.”

“I drank a 12 pack a day for almost 2 years, the key is to have a drinking problem.”

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Man Steals Electric Shopping Cart from Walmart and Drives It from Bar to Bar

Many of us have done some pretty stupid things when we’ve had too much to drink, but, if we’re lucky, we don’t get caught – and it definitely doesn’t become national news.

That’s not what happened to this guy.

Also, side note: if Bill Murray can drive around the streets of Stockholm in a golf cart, why can’t this guy have a little fun?

For the record, we don’t condone drinking and driving any kind of vehicle…but this is still kind of a hilarious story.

A man in Terrebonne Parish, Louisiana, stole an electric shopping cart from a Walmart and proceeded to drive it from bar to bar. The man, Brice Kendell Williams, 32, said he did it because he didn’t want to get a DUI, though he still ended up being charged with a felony for “Unauthorized use of a moveable.”

Someone at a bar in Houma, Louisiana, reported to police that a man had arrived there on a motorized shopping cart after midnight. Police arrived at the bar and found the cart parked between cars in the parking lot. After he was arrested, Kendell told police that he had been at another bar earlier when he decided to steal the cart so he (hopefully) wouldn’t get a DUI.

Captian America

I mean, why would a motorized cart from Walmart draw any attention if someone drove it up and parked it at a bar, right?

Kendell’s bond was set at $2,500.

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This Is Why Drinking Alcohol Makes You so Hungry

Have you drank a few cold beers only to be left salivating for some salty french fries or a hot slice of pepperoni pizza? Whatever your adult beverage of choice is, you can blame science for your grumbling stomach the next time you’re out drinking.

According to a 2017 study by the Francis Crick Institute, consuming alcohol does have a direct effect on your hunger levels. Over the course of two years, scientists studied the effect of ethanol alcohol on the body, brain and actions of mice, with the results lending a useful insight into why we get the munchies.

Photo Credit: Unsplash

The experiment consisted of giving mice between 1.5 to two bottles of wine over a three-day period. Interestingly, the alcohol caused AgRP neurons located in the hypothalamus to become increasingly active. Though the mice experienced an increased appetite, their metabolism and energy levels dropped.

“Our study clearly shows that the main area of the brain responsible for eating (the hypothalamus and its AgRP neurons) is directly affected and excited by ethanol, and that mice respond very strongly to its exposure by overeating for several hours afterward,” the co-authors of the study explained.

After repeating the study but blocking the AgRP neuron signals, the scientists found that the mice ate less. Ultimately, those AgRP neurons may be the culprit behind binge eating after binge drinking.

These results suggests that the more you drink, the more you will crave food (not exactly news to someone like me). What is important is to avoid binge drinking, which the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism defines as a pattern of behavior that boosts blood alcohol concentration above .08 grams per deciliter.

The authors caution against binge drinking in order to avoid one of the dangerous effects of binge eating: obesity.

“Binge drinking and obesity are typically thought of as two separate societal problems, but why does this happen all over the world and what is making us do this? It is too easy to believe that one cannot lead to the other, and that this correlation does not involve the brain somehow,” the authors wrote.

Plus, alcohol has a pretty high caloric content, too.

So the next time you’re out at the bar or club, make sure to keep track of how many drinks you have. Those two-for-one specials can lead to some serious consequences for your waistline if you’re not careful.

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15 Funny Tweets About Really Drunk People

A lot of us do dumb stuff when we’ve had a few too many brewskies, right?

You better believe it!

But you also might come up with some genius ideas when you’re three sheets to the wind, as well.

There’s a little mix of both in these 15 drunk tweets. Enjoy them!

1. A great purchase.

2. She’s doing good work.

3. Are you okay, airport?

4. You did nothing wrong. NOTHING.

5. Mom gets it.

6. Four deliveries! Might be a record.

7. Oh, there it is.

8. That was kind of amazing.

9. Time to head home.

10. Jekyll and Hyde.

11. Hello, Ms. President.

12. Get it together, Steve.

13. A legend, that’s for sure.

14. The old pizza for a cushion trick. Timeless.

15. That’s brilliant!

Okay, it’s confession time!

Let’s hear your most hilarious and humiliating drunk stories.

Go!

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Pabst Blue Ribbon Is Selling a 99-Can Case

Booooooyah! I’m not gonna lie, I like the sound of this!

Pabst Blue Ribbon, or PBR as it is usually called, is selling a limited-edition 99-pack containing three different kinds of beer. Is this great news, or what?!?!

Just keep in mind that when you do track this bad boy down, bring a friend or two to help you carry it home, okay?

The 99-pack of PBR is now in select stores in select states, and I think it’s going to make the holidays a lot more tolerable for many people out there. This monster features three beers from the PBR collection: original PBR, the light PBR Easy, and higher-strength PBR Extra (I’ve never even heard of PBR Extra before).

Here are the states where this glorious feat of ingenuity is available as of now.

Texas, Massachusetts, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Minnesota, Florida, New York, South Carolina, Montana, Vermont, California, Wisconsin, Iowa, Arkansas, and Colorado.

If you live in a state that is NOT on this list, you might want to call your local distributors…or maybe try your Senator?

It looks like these might be hard to track down even if they are in your state, too. A store in Mankato, Minnesota, put up a post showcasing their 99 packs (which they were selling for $59.99 – ¢60.6 per beer, for anyone counting), and they sold out in less than 24 hours. Also, people were driving almost 100 miles to buy up these bad boys.

Listen, the people want what the people want, okay?

I might be taking a quick drive to South Carolina this weekend…

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14 Crazy Things That Happened When People Got Blackout Drunk

A lot of us know what it’s like to have a drink or two and start to get slurry, but how many of you have reached that stage where your memory just shuts off?

Because if you have, you remember it. Well, sort of. See, you remember NOT remembering. Because that’s a VERY strange feeling. You could have been walking around, talking, being silly, and your memory just shut off.

That’s what happened to these 14 people and they, thankfully, lived to tell the tales!

1. Jeezus…

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Almost Whitney Houston’d it…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Well, you’re quite the asshole…

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. Hahahaha… oh boy…

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Yes, sometimes it gets messy AF!

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. That’s bound to happen…

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. Well, that’s a win!

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. How do you know he’s not…?

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. At least you’re a happy drunk!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. Well, sounds like you spent some more time in South America…

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. Haha, well, you weren’t wrong!

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Yeah, I’d worry too!

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Well… that’s one way to do it!

Photo Credit: Whisper

14. And there ya have it! Our winner!

Photo Credit: Whisper

Do you “remember” a particularly bad blackout situation? Care to share? We totally understand if you don’t, but it is nice to get these things off of our chests.

Share what you can in the comments!

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15 Drunk People That Will Make You Laugh and Shake Your Head

All of us know that moderation is the key to life…but seeing very drunk people do really ridiculous things is quite entertaining, isn’t it?

You bet it is!

So sit back, kick your feet up, and enjoy these amusing posts from very drunk people and the very drunk things they did…

1. It was an impulse purchase.

2. That was NOT a mistake.

Drunk amazon shopping led to a nice surprise from drunk

3. Time well spent.

4. How’d it taste?

View post on imgur.com

5. Are you okay, Gatwick Airport?

6. You got Punk’d!

https://tomche.tumblr.com/post/101902034663/the-2nd-star-to-the-right-this-is-amazing

7. Looks like a killer party.

8. Got it, Mom?

9. It’ll be fully charged in the morning.

10. That was a nice shot!

11. I need to do this to my fridge.

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That's art right there ? (@menshumor)

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12. Why are you ruining me?

13. Sounds normal to me.

14. Seems a little excessive.

15. Just pretend it doesn’t exist.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done after you had a few too many drinks?

Share your stories in the comments so we can all enjoy them!

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Serbian artist Uroš Predić…

Serbian artist Uroš Predić made a painting of drunks in his village returning home from the pub at dawn. He hoped the painting would convince them to change their ways but instead they ended up loving it. Some even complimented how accurate it was.

A Photographer Takes Pics of People After 1, 2, and 3 Glasses of Wine

How would you look after 3 glasses of wine?

Marcos Alberti is a photographer whose project called “3 Glasses” has a very specific purpose. He photographs people after they’ve had 0, 1, 2, and 3 glasses of wine and the results are pretty telling.

Kick back with a glass of vino and check out these photos.

1. Tipsy

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

2. DRUNK

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

3. Three deep

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

4. Goofin’ off

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

5. She might have a secret

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

6. Embarrassed

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

7. Put your hair up

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

8. Looks happy

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

9. LOLing

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

10. Maybe not much of a difference?

Photo Credit: Marcos Alberti

Do you wonder what you might look like after 3 glasses of wine? I know I do…

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