Category: doctors

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15 Doctors Share What They Wish Patients Knew About Their Bodies

When you go to the doctor, ask as many questions as possible. It’s your body, take charge of it!

In this AskReddit article, doctors share what they wish everyone knew about their bodies.

1. I did not know that!

“Ejaculating blood happens to most people at least once in their lives and in 99% of cases it resolves without taking any action within a week. It doesn’t even warrant a doctor visit.

Peeing blood (for both sexes) is a serious medical emergency and you should immediately go to the ER.

People think it’s the other way around.”

2. Good to know

“This one is more about medication:

Antibiotics only work against bacteria, they are not some kind of wonderpotion that cures anything, and they should not always be given

Please please stick to your prescription the doctor gives you. Even if you already feel better, dont just stop unless the doctor says you can stop. A lot of medication needs to be taken according to the prescription in order for it to be effective, because you build up the dosis to an effective level. Stopping or not sticking to it really decreases effectivity.”

3. Nothing to be embarrassed about

“That there is a wide range of ‘normal’. Don’t be embarrassed by your body. Having said that, if you are concerned about anything, ask your doctor. We have generally heard it all before, and trust me, we have (nearly always) seen it all before. Maybe you have something that has been bothering you for ages, but you were too scared or embarrassed to ask about it … Just ask! It might be ‘nothing’ and you have been stressing about it for no reason. And if not, then you are at least one step closer to getting it fixed. No one can help if they don’t know. There are no stupid questions, so ask away.

I’m always amazed when I have been asked about something that has been bothering a patient for years and years, but they were too embarrassed / scared to bring it up. Most of the time, it is nothing / a completely normal body function / feature. Other times, it is something that should have been discussed right away.

YOU know your body best. So speak up! Don’t wait for the doctor to “ask the right question”.”

4. No narcs

“Tell us what drugs and alcohol you’re on.

We aren’t gonna tell the cops. We aren’t gonna lecture you.

But it might change the anesthesia I give you. Some stuff I give you might kill you. If you drink a 30 pack a day, tell me.”

5. Doesn’t work that way

“Some people seem to think that if you act healthy for a bit, it’ll make up for being a wreck.

There are so many things wrong with this. Just one example – antioxidants are like gas for your car. You can store up a certain amount of vitamins, but your tank can only hold so much. If you binge and overfill your tank, it doesn’t do anything (you excrete it out as waste), and you can’t expect to go the next several months without gas just because you tried to overload it before. You’re going to still need to get gas. Same goes for your fruits and veggies.

Had someone tell me he went vegetarian for a few weeks, which meant he was done for the year. He was dead serious.

Had a patient at risk for heart failure try to insist that if she stayed away from salt entirely for x days/weeks, she should be able to have her fill of McDonald’s fries and ramen.

Had a smoker argue that if he stopped for some time, he should be able to smoke freely for a while. With some digging, “stopping” turned out to mean a couple less cigarettes a day.”

6. Get out there and move!

“You need some kind of exercise. Doesn’t matter how you feel right now, sitting for 12-16 hours a day will have negative consequences.”

7. BS

“Your kidneys and liver cheerfully do all the toxin elimination you’ll ever need. Cleanses and other “detoxifying” products are bullshit woo and a waste of money. The people who sell them are predators who only care about your money becoming theirs.”

8. Very serious

“Type 2 Diabetes is more serious than most people realize. I work as a doctor in hemodialysis and most of them are due to diabetic nephropathy. It also affects your eyes nerves immune system etc. Simple life changes can help you but noone seems to care. I even lost 9 kg myself because I had a family history of diabetes and to be healthy.”

9. Get it checked out

“How to check for skin cancer. If you see any moles or anything that are:

A – asymmetrical B – border (odd borders, like they’re jagged or something) C – Colour (different colours) D – Diameter (grows) E – Evolve (Well, evolves)

Go get it checked out. It might be skin cancer.”

10. Eat healthy

“How to eat healthy. Just because you’re skinny doesn’t mean you’re healthy. Especially the teenagers who I take care of. Sometimes I will ask them what’s a healthy food your doctor wants you to eat? Rarely do I get a right answer. I feel like the internet has so many fad diets, and family members rarely cook, so families don’t know basic nutrition facts.”

11. Some good tips

“-Antibiotics are not some magic cure for every pain in your body, nor for the flu or common cold.

-Never ever boil breast milk (in my country there is a popular belief that breast milk jaundice in newborns can be treated by boiling one’s breast milk – but by doing this you destroy all the nutrients and it basically becomes as nutritious as water is).

-Do not give honey to children below the age of 1.

-Do not rub your child with rubbing alcohol as to lower his fewer.

-Baby wipes don’t substitute daily baths/showers.

Yes, I am a pediatrician.”

12. Know your meds

“This is going to sound really basic, but i wish my patients would know what meds they are on when they come to the hospital. At least once a day comes somebody in who goes ” yeah i take 8 pills in the morning, 3 in the evening, and 4 at lunch but dont ask me which, youre a doctor, you should know”.

I beg of you, before going to a doctor that has never seen you before, write your meds, dosis and all on a piece of paper.”

13. Still might feel normal

“You often will feel normal even with high blood pressure. It’s often found incidentally. So don’t wait until it gives you symptoms you don’t want to go through.”

14. Very complex

“That the immune system is an incredibly complex and nuanced organization of cells that communicates readily to destroy anything deemed hostile within the body. It helps explain why vaccines are supposed to work, why allergies come and go, and why transfusions/transplants are hard to successfully pull off.”

15. The final word

“You only get one body. The way you treat it has a significantly higher impact in how your health will end up in a decade than what sort of interventions we can give you. You really should treat your body like a temple.”

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Psych Ward Nurses Share the Moments That Totally Shocked Them

Working with the mentally ill or criminally insane is definitely one that only a few among us are well-suited to tackle. What a tough gig.

It’s always interesting to peek behind the curtain, and these 15 psych ward nurses are here with some truly jaw-dropping tales.

15. Naked as a jaybird

Years ago, I was a student nurse doing my psych rotation in a catholic facility. The nuns still wore habits and the building was like something out of the dark ages. I’ll skip talking about the line of patients waiting to undergo ECT treatment in the basement and instead tell you about Maggie. She was a tragic case. She had been on Lithium for years and it really kept her psychotic episodes in check until reached toxic levels and could no longer take it.

One hot summer afternoon, we heard this banshee screaming coming from Maggie’s room. We rushed in there to see what was going on. Entering the room, we are greeted by a scene I will never forget. This late seventies woman is standing on the window ledge, naked as a jay bird, screaming through the window screens at the nuns in the courtyard, “you fucking penguins are going to burn in hell”. The poor sisters are scrambling to and fro trying to get away from the ranting madwoman’s viscous verbal assault as we were trying desperately to pull her off the grating.

I knew then and there, that I would never become a psych nurse.

14. Those were the days

Prison guard here: guy cut his scrotum open to let people know he was serious (dont know about what)

Guy 2 : cut off a butt cheek (or a big part of) and threw it at me as i tried to stop him.

Guy 3: punched a wall 3 times really hard (bloody knuckles) and told me he punched the devil cos he was telling him to stab me but im cool so he told the devil to fuck off.

Guy 4: pretended to drown himself in a toilet ( basically splashed pee on his face and rolled around crying

Guy 5: had sex with a window air vent and was complient yet confused when i asked him to stop

Those were the days….

13. He played the piano like a pro

Had a catatonic guy who could play the piano like a pro, classic, jazz, ragtime, but otherwise just sat in his chair and stared.

12. She wanted to be a vampire

Not me, but someone I knew was in a ward with a girl who wanted to be a vampire and drank blood from her own tampons.

It’s as atrocious as it sounds. She was around 16 and schizophrenic.

11. That’s MY tooth!

I’m an RN in boston in a psych hospital and I’ve seen some shit.

One of the things I’ll never ever forget was we had this manic guy that had been transferred from another unit cause he kept getting in fights over there and all the other patients were trying to attack him. I was still working nights back then and at about 3am he came up to me and said his tooth hurt and he needed to see a dentist right away. I said I don’t have a dentist for him to see but when the doctor comes in the morning we can take a look.

Gave him some Tylenol and sent him back to bed.

About 5 minutes later he came out saying it really hurt and he needed to see a dentist to pull his tooth. Again I told him theres no dentist but maybe I can get some more pain meds. In the middle of me explaining this to him he sticks his hand in his mouth and rips his molar out of his head and handed it to me. Blood starts pouring out of his mouth but he did even to seem to notice. After I clean him up and get the bleeding to stop and call the doctor to get him some ativan he goes “make sure you give me that tooth back when I leave, that’s MY tooth don’t try and steal it”. Fucking wild shit.

10. He was given a whole tub

This was actually in a state hospital that is part of the prison system for mentally ill offenders.

Patient asked for Vaseline. Which is fine. They can have Vaseline, whatever.

But this patient was given a whole tub, so of course he stripped completely naked, covered himself in Vaseline, and ran. It was a secure unit, and he didn’t escape, but we couldn’t get him back into his cell all shift because he was too fucking slippery.

No more tubs.

9. I never corrected her

I was a CNA for about 4 years and the saddest ever was my client/resident constantly thought I was her daughter. She went to Harvard and was an extremely brilliant lady in her time. She was non verbal but every time I walked into her room she would exclaim “Elizabeth you came”. I loved this lady so much, she would only eat when I fed her she was extremely combative with everyone but me. I ended up quitting my job there but visited her every single day. To the point that her family kind of accepted me as their family. I finally found out that Elizabeth took her own life at 21 and the fact that she thought I was her gave her extreme joy. I never corrected her and I like to think I gave her peace when she passed holding my hand. She was an amazing lady and I miss her to this day.

8. All of our mouths were wide open

We had an older black lady who would walk up and down the ward constantly mumbling. It never stopped. I think she would get something like Thorazine to calm her down but she would fight it and her eyes would be all droopy and she’d slow down but she kept going. Nobody understood a word she said and she was there for at least over 6 months. She was punched out once by a patient while he was on the phone because she kept walking by ranting. He just lost it.

Anyway I’m up there doing a patrol one day (I was security) and shes ranting and walking up and down the ward as usual and they call her to come get her meal. She sits down and opens her tray and stops ranting and states clear as day: “I didn’t order no diabetic tray BITCH.”

Every last person turned to her and all of our mouths were wide open. That was the only thing she ever said clearly.

7. Sure as shit

We had a psych patient on our floor that wasn’t really “crazy” crazy, just really confused and unpleasant in general.

One night I was mixing his drink with some thickener, and per usual he started yelling about me poisoning him. I explained what it was and that we’re all here to help him, not hurt him, and he responds with, “I’m just going to die.” His vitals were fine, he was alert, no red flags, and like I said, he was always pretty unpleasant so I didn’t think much of it.

Sure as shit, he coded an hour later and we never got him back.

Edit: coded is slang for “code blue” which is what they call over intercom/pagers when someone’s stopped breathing, or their heart has stopped.

6. Looking for booze

Obligatory not me, but my former best friend told me the story.

She wasn’t a nurse but did an internship at a psych ward for adults and part of her internship was supervising the adults outside in the garden, making sure they didn’t harm themselves, others and/or run away and to talk to them.

She and about 5 patients were outside on a beautiful summer day, each relaxing and smoking in silence, basically just chilling like fully functioning adults. Until one woman, about early 70s (no alzheimers or something) took her chair, pulled it right next to my friend, stepped on it, clumsily climbed the stone wall surrounding the small outside area, yelled “Bye, bitches!” and ran away.

My friend and the others just sat there, staring after her, not being able to believe what they’d just seen.

She was found 15 minutes later, just wandering through the city looking for booze.

I just can’t not laugh at the thought of this granny climbing the wall and yelling “Bye, bitches” while fastly waddling away

5. Problem solved!

This might not fit perfect, but I love this story.

How about in an inpatient addiction clinic? The first one that comes to mind was something I witnessed between a patient and another floor tech. We had a man who was in serious detox, drug if choice was meth. He was throwing a huge tantrum, not uncommon in DTs, people will do just about anything to get a fix. We weren’t a locked facility, so it wasn’t like he was stuck there. He genuinely wanted help, that’s why he stuck around, and we were there to listen and help him through the shakes, hallucinations, and other symptoms.

He was slamming his fists on the desk at this point, and he had started just yelling “I just want some fucking ice!” (Slang for crystal meth) Well, the tech with me was inexperienced, although much older than me, and while I talked to him and tried to calm him down, she went back to our staff kitchen and got him a glass of ice. Like, frozen water. She brought it out to him and put it in his hand like, Problem Solved!, and the guys just froze with confusion, staring at it. The patient and I both realized at the same time she thought he wanted ice and we just started at eachother and started laughing. He was in for a rough couple of days, but I’ve never seen someone jump from near psychotic episode to giggling so fast.

4. I couldn’t have seen what I saw

When I was in nursing school I had a clinical in the state funded psyc ward downtown. I was assigned to sit with this one girl to “monitor” her behavior. She spent about thirty minutes doing nothing but eating pudding cups with a plastic spoon. She ate like 6 of them in half an hour. Then out of nowhere she very calmly licked her spoon completely clean and pulled her shirt sleeve up before shoving the entire spoon into an incision in her arm near her bicep… then very calmly said, “Ohps.”

The nurses that worked there didn’t believe me. They kept saying I was making it up and that I couldn’t have seen what I saw.

Only later on, like four hours later (it was a 12 hr clinical), the orderly notice the girl had some blood on her shirt. He took her into her room to change her clothes and noticed that an incision on her arm had dehisced and had been bleeding.

Then eventually agreed to send her to the hospital for testing.

The X-ray showed the entire spoon, sucked into the fat of her upper arm, through an incision where they’d removed a birth control implant in the week before…

Apparently the girl had slowly been picking at the sutures and opening it bit by bit until it was deep enough to fit an entire plastic spoon….

The girl admitted that the “ohps” was because it had gotten sucked in and couldn’t be pulled out, not because she’s stuck a spoon in her arm….

Totally bizarre.

3. I had to gather my thoughts

Psych ward counselor here. Early in my career I had a teenage girl with suicidal ideations and severe depression. The year before, on thanksgiving, her dad pulled a gun from under the dinner table and blew his brains out in front of everyone. I normally form a response pretty quickly, even a “wow,” but when she told me I got quiet, leaned back, exhaled, and had to gather my thoughts.

2. Straight out of the movies

I’m not a nurse but was a patient once. Giant dude got upset one dude changed the channel from a football game he was watching and smashed his skull with his fists. Not fully, but enough that when they brought him back a few days later he started seizing and had to be removed again. Didn’t see him again.

Also, there was one lady who was straight out of the movies. Walking around preaching the end of days loudly and sweating like crazy.

1. Two of her own fingers

Not a nurse, pharmacist.

Had one of our Clozapine patients miss a monthly meeting to discuss their medication. Called around, found out she was in the ICU having eaten two of her own fingers then visited her mother for coffee, still bleeding.

Had a friend tell me of another patient, made a cut in his thigh and reopened it regularly until the whole thing was a scar tissue cavern, by some miracle avoiding infection. Started using his “meat pocket” to hold pens and coins and anything he could collect in his ward. Nobody knew until a paperclip pierced the side and he finally wound up with an infection that took him to ICU where they found his stash.

Yep, I’ll stick with sitting on my butt with a computer!

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James McCune Smith, the first…

James McCune Smith, the first African-American doctor, was rejected from all American colleges and had to attend the University of Glasgow in Scotland, where he graduated at the top of his class.

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13 People Share the Reasons They Refuse to be an Organ Donor

Being an organ donor is a pretty noble thing that just about all of us can do, because you can save someone’s life even after you’re gone. Sadly, there are still so many folks out there who refuse to sign up because of all the misinformation there is out there.

First, organs are given on the basis of need, not greed. While it is true that people can go places in the world and purchase organs, that’s rare. And they definitely can’t do that in the United States. So if you decide to donate ANY organ, it’ll go to the next person on the list. Guaranteed.

Second, nobody is going to let you die because they want your organs. That would be completely illegal, and there’s no evidence this has ever happened when it comes to modern-day, organ donation programs. Especially those in first world countries. So if you believe this is happening, you’re probably a moron.

Alright, on to the secret reasons!

1. Another good point.

Photo Credit: Whisper

2. Right, but you won’t need them eventually…

Photo Credit: Whisper

3. Rich. People. Are. NOT. Profiting. From. This.

Photo Credit: Whisper

4. This is actually a good point.

Photo Credit: Whisper

5. Fair point, although this is bound to change eventually.

Photo Credit: Whisper

6. Good exception.

Photo Credit: Whisper

7. But do you really know for sure or are you just guessing?

Photo Credit: Whisper

8. This person just does not give AF!

Photo Credit: Whisper

9. No they won’t. That’s not how it works!

Photo Credit: Whisper

10. I can’t believe THIS many people actually believe this!

Photo Credit: Whisper

11. That’s not actually a bad reason, but it is very specific.

Photo Credit: Whisper

12. THEY. WILL. NOT. DO. THIS.

Photo Credit: Whisper

13. Ultimately it’s a very personal choice.

Photo Credit: Whisper

Of course it is completely okay to NOT donate your organs if you don’t want to. But if you’re doing it because you believe any of the myths out there… you’re wrong. And likely stupid.

Sorry, not sorry.

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16 Hospital Employees Share Their Most Emotionally Scarring Stories on the Job

The emergency room is a CRAZY place. If you don’t believe me, check out this thread by Redditor FanisPapa, where asked other users this simple but brutal question: “Hospital staff of Reddit, what is an ER moment that has scarred you for life?”

Caution, the following stories are rough to read. You have been warned.

1. Every. Single. Rib.

Ex-wife is an ER nurse and this is the worst story she ever told me.

Guy was driving his Jeep Wrangler with the roof and doors off. He also wasn’t wearing his seatbelt, you can guess where this is going. What should have been a minor MVA ends with the Jeep rolling over. Not wearing his seat belt means the guy is tossed out. The roll bar of the Jeep rolls right over the guy’s sternum. Every rib, EVERY RIB, was broken in multiple places. He made it to the ER, but didn’t live long after.

Worst part: he was a firefighter at the station right next to the hospital. Everyone knew the guy and he was well liked.

2. WEAR EYE PROTECTION PEOPLE!!!

One of my colleagues told me about a guy that came in c/o eye pain and sensitivity.

Turns out he didn’t wear eye protection while doing some DIY home repair with a metal grinder of some sort. He had metal filings embedded in his cornea.

After numbing up his eye, they picked out some of the filings with a needle. My colleague was pretty sure that his coworker pierced through the cornea at some point.

I HATE eye stuff. I nearly puked when he told me this story.

3. Corked

My partner is an ER nurse so I asked her – she said an older lady came in one day and said that she couldn’t get a cork out of her vagina.

They asked how it got up there and she said when she shaved she puts a cork in to stop the shaving cream from getting in, but this time it wouldn’t come back out.

Said she had been doing it for years

4. Broken junk

Years ago we had a guy come into the ER with a broken penis….yep, a broken penis. He and his wife were having sexy time at what he described as “a very rapid pace” when he pulled back to far and came out when he went to shove it back in, he hit a dry spot on the side of her leg and bent his penis 90 degrees.

The problem was that he had ruptured his urethra. Scarred for life is a good way to describe the effect on the entire staff.

5. We all have limits

My mom works in the ER and tells me stories. Some take something out of her. Last year a two-year-old came in with head trauma. The 2-year old’s brother was backing out of the driveway and ran him over. After hours of trying to save him, he was gone. The ER went silent and the mothers scream echoed throughout the hospital. My mom said she couldn’t help but break out into tears when she left.

I have a son that was the same age at the time so it hit her hard. The Dr that was trying to save the child had already lost another patient that day and went on a leave of absence after that.

6. The moment you become an orphan

40-year-old man motor vehicle accident, not the patient’s fault, car swerved into his car on the highway. Patient comes into the trauma room with an EMT still giving chest compressions, patient’s vitals crashed on the way to the hospital. Nurses take over the chest compressions once the patient gets on the hospital stretcher. They continue compressions for 35 minutes with no positive response. Up until this moment, I’ve seen this before so not a big deal. A young 12-year-old girl walks up behind me and sees the compressions going on and stays silent. The ER doctor looked at her and then took over compressions for about 5 minutes. He tired out and a nurse took over. The doctor looked around the room at everyone with the familiar look of “are we all ready to call it”. The room is pure silence except for the noise of chest compressions. 5 more minutes go by. The doctor stops the nurse doing compressions with only his hands. The young girl starts to cry softly behind me. The patient was a single father, that girl became an orphan in an instant. I had to leave the room.

7. Beat down

Not ER worker, but had an internship with a hospital’s IT department and on occasion would have to service equipment in the ER.

One time I was sent into a room to work on something and there was a young woman there who had overdosed. She was dead, but they were waiting for her parents to arrive, which all happened while I was there. The mother begins wailing, understandably, but the father immediately begins BEATING the daughter’s boyfriend, screaming it was all his fault. Beating to the point of skull fractures and blood splattering everywhere.

It took three security guards to subdue him.

8. Ricochet

10-year-old boy shot in the head with a high-powered bb gun by his cousin. Came in fully alert, talking, normal mental state. Just a tiny BB hole between the eyebrows.

By the time he got back from CT his words were slurring and he was a little confused.

By the time Neurosurgery called back his eyes were pointing in 2 different directions.

By the time he was going up to the OR, he was starting to posture (abnormal body positioning due to primitive brain reflexes taking over when higher function shuts down).

This was all over the course of about 20-30 minutes.

The CT showed the BB went straight into the skull and pretty much just ricocheted all over the place. AFAIK the kid lived, but of course he’s never gonna be the same.

9. Cracking good time

ER call one night when I was a medical student. Chief complaint was penile pain. Guy’s mid-forties, seems otherwise normal, no obvious past medical or surgical history. Ask him about when it started and he tells me that it’s been hurting ever since he “cracked it” that morning. I’m assuming I misheard or that he misspoke, so I ask for clarification. He proceeds to explain that, ever since he was a teenager, he started waking up with morning wood, so he would “crack” his penis to make it go away so he could get on with his day. He demonstrates cracking by placing his two closed hands together on top of each other, then quickly bending the top one ninety degrees. He’s completely lost as to why it still hurts today when it’s been thirty years and the pain always went away by mid-morning before.

10. Face hole

FF/EMT turned ER Nurse here. Took care of a person who was attacked by several dogs. Responding officers had to use lethal force so that the medics could get the person into the ambulance. The dogs would end up testing positive for cocaine, steroids and other substances

We weren’t sure which hole in their “face” was the best to put a breathing tube into. I believe it was a 19-hour surgery.

She didn’t live too long after.

11. Cute maggots?!? No such thing.

Nothing scarring just mildly interesting: 1. Buttock infection from self-administering street bought steroids. Right buttock so swollen and raw with underlying tissues macerated creating a tunneling into his rectum. 2. A guy with backpack stuck to his back. Found like that in his apartment. Severely necrotic ulcer and very foul. We scraped like a bag and a half of cute maggots (visible and hidden ones) 3. Homeless guy. Bed bugs and lice. Crawling all over. Like lots. We-all-ran-out-of-the-room lots.

12. Sock foot

I removed a guy’s sock once. “I haven’t taken those socks off in 3 months.” The flesh came off with the socks because over enough time it “soaked” into the sock so the cloth and flesh were one.

It was all muscle and tendons underneath.

13. Karma’s a bitch

A woman I knew from a previous stay in our hospital was admitted. The woman was already about 95, basically tetraplegic from two strokes she had the year before, and “cared” for by her daughter. The daughter said that it’s quite nice that the mom can’t move anymore because she could just put her in a chair or a bed and she couldn’t get up and walk, so the daughter could go and work. People who don’t move spontaneously usually have severe problems with skin breakdown due to pressure ulcers and need to be moved around regularly, so that was kind of a red flag. With social services and our whole team, we were able to put the patient in a nursing home where she was cared for appropriately.

The ER-occurrence happened about three months later. We knew that the daughter wasn’t quite happy about everything because she wanted the mom to change her will in her favor. The mom was in no condition to ever be able to do that, but the daughter just didn’t realize that.

Well, she was sent to the ER from the nursing home with cardiogenic shock (meaning her heart was not working properly, and she was dying). The nursing home wanted to just let her go in her own bed at the home, but the daughter threatened to call her lawyer if she wasn’t moved to the hospital. So we saw her in the night, saw that she was in her last few hours on Earth and she was going to die (see above, she was old and sick and there wasn’t much we could do). The daughter demanded (and I mean with screaming and waving with her lawyer’s card) not to give her anything to lessen her symptoms. We also had to try and put a cannula in to “revive” her. So we had to try really hard, knowing it was basically torture for her mom – but the daughter had a certificate showing that she was the person allowed to decide on medical issues.

Best part is: daughter has a private practice for karma healing.

14. When parents are horrible people

House fire- family of six. One child didn’t make it.

Parent shrugged, laughed, said- “Well I’ve got three more don’t I?”

*To save the armchair psychologists of Reddit some time, this was not an instance of “Dark Humor”

15. The noises drowning people make

In the early 80’s I was a night shift Orderly in a small hospital when an ambulance came in with two drowning victims. They were in an SUV that had rolled into the water and they were unable to escape. They had been under water for a long time so there was no attempt to resuscitate.

The State Police had been called to collect a blood alcohol sample and to maintain the chain of custody someone had to stay with the bodies until the Trooper arrived, and I drew the short straw. For a half hour, I was shut in a small examination room with two people who I knew (small town) waiting, and drowning victims make noises.

It was horrible having to see the parents arrive to identify their daughters and it was bad seeing a cardiac blood draw but the noises stuck with me for a long time. It didn’t help that I had been reading Stephen King’s Night Shift when the ambulance arrived.

16. “I only came out to see him suffer.”

Cousin told me this one. He was doing side work in an acute care nursing facility, and full time as a critical care nurse.

He is standing next to the bed of stroke victim. The guy is twisted into a knot, and suffering every moment of every day. There is no going back.

My cousin says to the man’s wife, “Look, this is as good as it gets. We can keep him alive for a long time, but every day will be a day of suffering. Maybe it is time to let him go.”

Her reply, “F_ck him. He cheated on me our whole marriage. That mother f_cker is getting the full ride. I only came out to see him suffer.”

He was stunned, but he couldn’t do a thing about it.

Well, that was insane.

Have a good night!

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Doctors Reveal 12+ of the Dumbest Patients They’ve Ever Experienced

The next time you get yourself in a difficult medical situation…just let a doctor handle it. There’s a reason why they went through years of medical school.

So, listen up to these doctors on Reddit who shared stories of the dumbest patients they ever encountered.

Caution: extreme stupidity ahead.

1. Bite The Sun

“I’m a general practitioner, and the most outrageous thing I’ve heard was from a boy who was something like 20-22 years old. He was from an impoverished, illiterate family. The boy had a bad case of tonsillitis and refused to take any medication because all he needed to do was ‘bite the sun.’ Basically, at noon, he had to look up to the sun, open his mouth as wide as possible and ‘bite’ the sun several times so it would ‘burn’ his tonsils and cure him over the course of a couple of weeks. When that wouldn’t work, plan B was to do the same at night but only under a full moon.”

2. Yikes

“I had a 34-year-old who popped a pimple on his privates with a needle after cleaning it by putting it in his mouth. Yeah, he ended up losing everything.

A 72-year-old recently had a heart stent placement and started having similar chest pain at night around 10 p.m.

He decided to stay in all night and try to sleep through it. He popped ten aspirin overnight and came to an urgent care instead of a hospital. He was not doing so hot when he left our care.

Another guy, a mid-20s male shot his junk off.

Now he lives with a hole in it.

This other time a young female jumped off the balcony just so that she can get some pain meds. I loaded her up and intubated her.

A guy had a room freshener spray stuck in his butt.

They had to take him to the operating room. I don’t know what he was thinking. It’s a vacuum when you shove stuff up there!

Another good one was when this dude pulled out his catheter just because he was angry at medical staff.

Yeah, that didn’t help with the situation. He realized later what mistake he made and how painful it’s going to be for him for a while.”

3. His butt hurt

“In the wee hours of the morning, a doctor friend of mine got called to see a trauma consult. It was a guy who reportedly wandered into the ER stating he’d just come from a bus stop across the street from the hospital.

He had just woken up there and realized that he was missing his wallet… as well as all of his clothing from the waist down.

What, you ask, would prompt an indecently-clothed man to march barefoot across a busy downtown road, in a big city, by the dawn’s early light to seek assistance in the ER?

Shame be condemned… his butt hurt.

My friend did an appropriate workup and discovered a large chunk of broken-off concrete lodged in this gentleman’s rectum. It required an operation to retrieve it. However, before they whisked him off to the OR, the patient confessed the rest of the story:

He’d hooked up with two strange men off of Craigslist, and they’d gone out in one guy’s awesome sports car, used copious amounts of illicit substances, and done… well, at that point, he wasn’t too sure just what they’d done.

All he remembered was waking up at the bus station with no pants and a rock up his butt.

While my friend was still in the ER with the guy getting consent for the operation… the patient’s very worried wife walked in.”

4. Google Master

“I am an ER doctor and recently had a young male patient who came in for about the fifth time complaining of abdominal pain and vomiting. Looking over his records from past visits, I could see that his symptoms had previously been attributed to either acid reflux and gastritis or cyclic vomiting syndrome due to daily heavy substance use. Anyway, he’d been told to take Nexium twice a day and cut back on the drinking, as well as follow up with a GI doctor, but he had done none of those things.

Instead, he tells me, ‘Doc, I Googled my symptoms and I’m sure I have stomach cancer. My mom has cancer too, so she gave me some of her chemo-therapy pills and I started taking those.’

So, yeah, guy ignored the medical diagnoses and recommendations he was given and instead decided he had stomach cancer and treated himself by taking his mother’s chemotherapy pills. He wasn’t sure what kind of cancer his mom had.

I tried to explain that different cancers require different medications, that chemotherapies are the most toxic medications we made and might kill him. He was very unlikely at his age to have stomach cancer and much more likely to have over-production of stomach acid for which he should take the medicines he was prescribed the last several times he came to the ER.”

5. A drinking emergency

“Had an old coot (best possible description of the man) who was sweet but had spent his adult years drinking away whatever brain cells he had when he started. He presented with the chief complaint, ‘I can’t drink anymore. Every time I drink one, I just throw it back up a few minutes later.’

Well, it turns out he hadn’t been able to eat actual food in months, was subsisting on pretty much just liquid, and hadn’t gone number 2 in over two weeks.

That didn’t bother him a bit – until he couldn’t drink. Then it was an emergency!

He had a big ol’ tumor blocking the distal part of his left colon (so near the end of the road, intestinally speaking), and everything gradually got backed up all the way to his stomach. That’s why he couldn’t keep a drink down – there was just no more room at the inn.

I fixed him with a colostomy, and he got better and left. He refused chemo, and I figured he’d just go home and die of cancer. However, almost exactly one year later, he came back to me with just about the same complaint – obstructed to the point of not being able to drink.

Except for this time, it was that his ostomy had essentially retracted into his abdomen and the skin had nearly grown shut over it.

He was pooping out of a teeny-tiny hole in his skin. WHAT?

Even my oldest partners had never seen anything like it, but once again Cooter wasn’t remotely fazed. He just wanted us to fix it so he could go home and keep drinking.

I did. Haven’t seen Cooter since. I kind of hope he’s still out there, treating his cancer with suds and just blissfully ignoring the Grim Reaper.”

6. Might want to double check those instructions…

“There was a patient who was upset to find out that she was pregnant again because she’d used her diaphragm EXACTLY as she’d been told. She carefully inspected it for holes, applied the spermicide, placed it, wore it at night, then took it out, cleaned it and put it away each morning… and then her husband arrived home from his night-shift.”

7. Some explaining to do

“We responded in the ambulance to a place that is… well, it’s different. We go hot for a 13-year-old girl with abdominal pain.

We get there, and she’s lying on the couch, surrounded by family. She’s uncomfortable but able to laugh and joke that her stomach hurts.

It feels ‘crampy’ for the last two days and she has had blood trickling out from her privates.

This happened last month too, then about a month before that. She has had to go home from school each time.

She is surrounded by women. Her mother (late-20s), her grandmother (40s), great-grandmother (early 60s) and great-great-grandmother (mid-70s). Every one of them is flabbergasted as to what this could be.

So, here I am, a 30-year-old dude of a very different ethnic and cultural background, asking all sorts of uncomfortable questions.

‘Have any of you explained to her about periods?’ No. Clearly not. No one here has been NOT pregnant for a long enough time to understand that they come more or less regularly, roughly once a month.

We took her in any way.

Better safe than sorry. At least us and the nurses could explain some things to her. Clearly, no one else could.”

8. Full contact

“I worked in the ER during my internship and met a girl who had increasingly painful and red eyes since a couple of days back. The last 24 hours had been horrible. I asked about all the normal stuff, and she claimed to have no idea why she had an eye problem – she had never had anything wrong with her eyes.

I proceeded to drop some dye in her eyes to check them under a microscope, and when I did, I realized she was wearing contacts.

She didn’t like her natural eye color, so she had bought a set of blue colored lenses eight months earlier.

Never removed them, not even during night time. She didn’t even think to mention this to me, claimed to have no ‘foreign materials’ in her eyes.

I gave her quite the harsh lecture and a referral to an ophthalmologist.”

9. Home Improvement

“I worked in a private WASP hospital in a very affluent community. This meant I missed out on injuries from gang violence but got to see some of the dumbest attempts at home improvements ever. I will list my favorite.

So, two guys are attempting to lay hardwood flooring.

They have no clue what they are doing, but what the heck. They rip up the old flooring, lay down some plywood and start to lay down their nice antique hardwood boards. At this point, they have an issue.

How does one find the studs in the floor when they are covered by the larger plywood panels?

Well, being geniuses, they decide to send one guy to the floor below and have him call out under the beam and have the guy fire his nail compressor over the sound.

There are so many issues at this stage that it is amazing. I have no clue why they thought this plan was a good idea. So tempting to start smacking them around at this point… but had to be professional and just let them keep going.

Sure enough, the guy on the top floor missed a beam, fires the way over-powered tool into plywood, it goes through the weaker first layer of flooring, shoots the guy on the bottom floor in the head.

They know the nail missed the beam (there is a hole to prove it) but can not locate the nail.

Oddly enough, the patient was fine. The nail grazed his skull and entered the skin, then settled behind his ear.

It was a very sore bump. He assumed the nail had hit him on the way by and initially, didn’t want to come in, but the friend insisted on it since they could not find the missing nail.

Great x rays, couldn’t keep them.”

10. Smelly

“I was an intern in the ER. I have seen a lot of stupid people; it was a small town and all. The worst I think was when I walked in, and the floor smelled like… I don’t even know. It was by far the worst thing I had ever smelled.

I asked a passing nurse what the smell was, and he just shrugged his shoulders and told me, someone, probably poop everywhere.

Well, the doctor is preparing to go into this room, but I did not expect what would happen next.

He opened the door, and I almost barfed. It was extremely hard to keep my professional composure.

The guy had his leg wrapped up. The doctor asked him to unwrap it, and it was gangrene. From his foot up to the middle of his thigh.

The smell I had been smelling was rotting flesh. The cause? ‘The four-wheeler I was riding caught fire six months ago.’”

11. Nothing a little Jack can’t fix

“As an Army medic, I have had some dumb patients. One of the first guys I treated got nasty road rash from a motorcycle crash and decided to treat it himself by pouring Jack Daniels on it. By the time he came to the medics, it was pretty bad, and I had to do debridement with a scrub brush: scrubbing the bad parts off with plastic bristles.

He was in a lot of pain, and I was trying not to laugh at him.

We once had a guy who had the tip of his finger amputated. His first question was, ‘will this grow back?’

One guy had a sore back, and while I was doing the physical exam, he said, ‘Doc, my spine is curved (it wasn’t).

That’s why my nose is crooked.’

Medics all have lots of fun stories.”

12. Baby only likes the good stuff

“I grew up in Upstate New York, where my dad had his practice (he’s an OB/GYN). Genesee Brewery was nearby, so it was a fairly popular adult beverage brand with the locals.

A patient came into the office for a prenatal checkup.

As part of his follow up, he asked if they were drinking anything they shouldn’t so that he could tell them to avoid it.

The woman reassured him that her drinking habit was fine. ‘Oh, don’t worry Doctah!

I drink da good stuff. I drink Genny Cream!’

My dad then had to explain that even if she’s drinking the ‘good stuff,’ she still can’t have it when pregnant. She honestly thought that if she had ‘good’ stuff, it’d be fine for the baby.

Yikes. Plus, I think Genesse Cream is pretty awful to begin with, which makes the story funnier.”

13. He drove himself

“I’m a surgical resident, and one that comes to mind while I was on the cardiothoracic service was a gentleman that came in through the trauma bay with a stab wound to the chest. He reported (after we fixed the rather large hole in his right ventricle) that he was just visiting a friend and while on the stoop of the building, a random stranger stabbed him with a sword from a 1st-floor window.

He proceeded to laugh, get back in his car with his buddies and drive home, despite the rather profuse bleeding from his chest. He drove home and then eventually decided he should go to the hospital. He drove BY HIMSELF to the hospital.

The last thing he remembered was being on the way to the hospital. Lucky jerk was found in the parking lot. He had passed out in his car. He eventually made it to the OR and walked away just fine.”

14. Too many to count

“There are several close calls. There was the patient who fixed an appointment for a pedicure the day after open heart surgery. He said that he’d just sneak out of the ICU and that nobody would notice.

Then there was the patient who had an amputation of half of his foot and decided that it would be a good idea to walk to the toilet after returning to his room, covering the floor in bloody footsteps because the suture ripped open again.

Then the patient who said that he didn’t have any previous operations, but was covered in scars. When asked about each of them, he suddenly remembered having about 15 surgeries for various accidents.

The patient who forgot that he had his kidney, spleen, and part of the colon removed (because of a tumor).

There was one patient who decided that he’d never take more than three pills a day (because obviously taking more than three pills a day is going to kill you). He was on four or five different meds at that time, and just chose at random which meds he was going to take which day.”

15. Better safe than sorry

“I still remember a guy coming to the hospital with his girlfriend and asking for the morning after pill. I asked them when did the intercourse happen and he says, ‘Well, I wouldn’t call it exactly intercourse, but my girlfriend would feel much more relaxed if she took the pill.’

I asked, ‘Could you define the nature of your contact?’

He says, ‘Well… uh… my girlfriend is pure, so we don’t ‘do it,’ but last night we were in our underwear, and we were cuddling, and I came a bit in my underwear, and then we kept cuddling, and my wet underwear was touching her thigh.

So maybe something found its way into her?”

16. How else?

“I had a marine once who came to me complaining of a rash to his right forearm for two weeks. This was his first visit for the issue and hadn’t had anything like this before. He was worried since he reported worsening symptoms since initial onset.

When asking about prior skin issues, he told me he had ringworm just before THIS rash.

I look at his arm, it looked like a mild second-degree chemical burn in a rather circular shape, with blisters on the edges. What got me was the exact definition in the burn edge. Asking the young LCPL how he got that he replied, ‘Well that’s the burn I got from the bleach I poured on my arm.’

When I ask him WHY he poured bleach on his arm he says, ‘Well, how else was I going to kill the ringworm?’”

17. Don’t miss it

“I have the grandma, the mom, and the teen in the room. The teen is pregnant, but this apparently is a good thing. There are no fathers/grandfathers/boyfriends/jobs in the picture, but everyone decided it was about time a new generation was added to the family lineage.

Apparently, the teen did not appreciate the fatigue, full bladder, back pain, etc., that go along with being pregnant and is also experiencing some cramping pains. She demands that we do a C-section because she’s tired of being pregnant (even though she’s still not far enough along) because then we can just hook up the premie in an incubator to finish growing and the government can just pay for the (incredibly expensive) ICU stay.

My jaw just dropped.

Then there was the lady wearing short shorts and no underwear who raised her leg and showed me the puss-filled wound on her labia … while in the middle of the waiting room.

I don’t miss rural OB/Gyn experiences.”

18. Cement cast

“Turns out using cement as a DIY cast for your broken (but not reset) leg is a bad idea. Turns out the chemicals in the cement irritate and dissolve your skin. A patient became septic and almost died by the time he presented for medical care.

Emergency Medicine – preventing natural selection one stupid person at a time.”

19. The thirst and the energy

“As a med student, myself and another student took a history from a guy who drank several (10+) cups of tea a day with six sugars in each one ‘for my thirst’ and had six meals a day of four bacon sandwiches, with butter, ‘for the energy.’

That’s all he had every day.

That’s it. He couldn’t understand why his heart disease wasn’t getting better, why he’d put on weight, why he was now showing high blood sugar and was borderline diabetic.”

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12+ Cases That Still Make Doctors’ Skin Crawl

There’s a reason why those of us with weak stomachs don’t become doctors. They see more blood, gore, and bile in one week than most of us do in a lifetime. But everyone has their limits – even doctors – and sometimes things poke through the patina of professional ability.

If you decide to read through these 15 doctors’ confessions about what still gives them the heebie-jeebies after years of practicing medicine, I hope your stomach is strong.

#15. Absolutely ghastly

“Doctor. Nothing visual/physical really gets to me these days. Smells can be absolutely ghastly. But people’s suffering can be profoundly affecting, both patient’s and families.”

#14. Chilling to the bone

“How cruel people can be. Dealing with disease is one thing, but dealing with victims of any kind of assault, domestic violence or mass tragedy is chilling to the bone.”

#13. I’m taking a bath in bleach

“Patient has Mrsa : skip the gown because we all have it, it’s fine what Evs

Patient has scabies / bed bugs: JeSus fucking Christ where the fuck is my 3rd PPE gown tie, I need 6 gloves and 4 Shoe covers and if they even so much as touch me I’m taking a bath in bleach , I left my phone in the break room because if it fell outa my pocket it will stay there till the end of time .”

#12. There’s something about that open nose

“I work at a maxillofacial surgeons’ department and I’ve seen a lot of procedures which don’t phase me; teeth extractions, upper and lower jaw realignment, traumas of all types (broken jaws, broken orbital sockets, …) oncological procedures, explorations. The lot.

But there’s 1 procedure that makes my gut wrench; rhinoplasties. There’s something about that open nose, and people cutting and prodding around that makes me so uncomfortable. I don’t know why.”

#11. I have to suppress a shudder

“Anesthesiologist here. Blood, gore, and people trying to die on me don’t really phase me much. But when I’m in the eye room and the surgeon sticks a needle into someone’s eyeball I have to suppress a shudder.”

#10. Parasites

“I can handle skin sloughing diseases, gore, and meth head tweeters just fine… But damn, I hate parasites….. bed bugs, scabies, tapeworms (fun fact- you can end up with tapeworm eggs in your brain if you have tapeworms and your hygiene is rank enough).”

#9. Full body skin conditions

“I’m a trauma surgeon so blood and mangled bodies doesn’t really phase me, but full body skin conditions do! Things like eczema herpeticum and Norwegian scabies make me itch all over and really uncomfortable.”

#8. Chopped fingers still get me

“I’ve seen all sorts of disgusting and gory things which uniphase me but for some reason chopped or dismembered fingers still get me.”

#7. The common thing we all hate…

“For me it’s nasty teeth. There are very few things that move me in any way (medicine or otherwise) but daaaamn nasty teeth. I could never ever be a dentist.

My friend works in emergency medicine and can’t stand hand wounds. She’s the toughest, most bad-ass lady I know but hand wounds make her swoon like a medieval maiden.

Among other doctors I know it’s usually skin conditions and burns.

The common thing we all hate is abuse.”

#6. Living where they shouldn’t be

“All the creepy crawlies living where they shouldn’t be. The more slithery the worse it is.

A kid is awoken by intense pain and a scratching sound in the ear? Usually a cockroach – not so bad, but a hassle to remove piecemeal leg by leg if it comes to that.

Some guy is complaining of nasal congestion and some bleeding months after a vacation? Yup, leeches in the nasal cavity. I’m never going swimming in any rivers ever.

Diabetic patient complaining of a non-healing wound behind his ear? I scoop out dozens of maggots from underneath the skin flaps and they’re falling on the patient’s stretcher.

A pregnant patient admitted for delivery is complaining of itching down there after maybe straining a bit too much? An Ascaris roundworm is poking its head out the butt and saying hello.

Always makes me gag when I have to be the one to remove them.”

#5. Botflies are a common theme

“Large Parasites that live in the skin.

I can deal with worms in the organs, or microscopic spiders living in my face pores, but when it comes to scabies or botflies I want to claw my own skin off.”

#4. A big NOPE

“Very little does… I can see blood, guts, death, and very little phases me. But watching any video of somebody breaking a bone gets a big NOPE out of me.”

#3. Suctioning out saliva

“I don’t mind pus, blood, poop, urine. But, for the love of god, I can’t stand saliva. It grosses me out when anesthesia suctions out saliva.”

#2. Phantom itching for hours

“I can’t even see or hear the phrase “Fournier’s Gangrene” without cringing. (Don’t Google image search that at work unless you also work at a hospital.)

Also I reallllly don’t like going into patients’ rooms when they have bedbugs. Even if I gown and glove before heading in and only touch them to do an exam, I will have phantom itching for hours and then change clothes in my garage when I get home because NOPE.”

#1. Unclean nose issues

“My wife has been a family practitioner for 10 years. She says the only thing that really still grosses her out is nasty, unclean nose issues.”

Brb barfing.

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Medical Pros Reveal the Most NSFW Situations They Encountered at Work

A lot of us like to stay away from NSFW content at work.

Hence the acronym…

But, what if the NSFW actually happens at work?

Well, I suppose you take to AskReddit, and you start sharing those stories.

At least that’s what these 18 doctors, nurses, and vets did:

#1. That should do it

“A person thought pouring Lysol on their diabetic foot-ulcer would keep it from getting infected.”

#2. Ugh!

“An obese women came back to the hospital after an abdominal operation, because her staples had ripped off, and she didn’t notice (!?!).

She now had a huge v-shape gash at least 2 inches deep from her pubis to the diaphragm. We had to clean that gash a couple of times a day.

The first student that went into the room fainted at the site of it, so our teacher asked me to do it (I had the reputation of being tough).

Imagine a small yellow and green river coming out of her each time she moved. The smell was so horrible that we had to opened the window and close the door.

Sadly, that poor woman died of the infection a couple of days later.”

#3. Good job parents!

“A patient’s extended family physically stopped us from resuscitating a completely limp and unresponsive newborn because helping it breathe, ‘isn’t natural. Labor is natural and requires no intervention.’

Baby eventually and slowly perked up about 15 minutes later.

Needless to say, I don’t expect this baby to go to Harvard.”

#4. Kind of like ‘The Walking Dead’

“I had a homeless patient come into the dermatology clinic. He had a filthy bed sheet wrapped around his head, with only part of the left side of his face and left eye exposed.

You could see the rancid stink coming off of his head.

We got him in the exam room and unwrapped his noggin. Turns out he had a basal cell carcinoma (skin cancer) for which he had refused treatment, for like 15 years.

The cancer had eaten away all of the skin on most of his head. There were very large areas of muscle and bone exposed.

The tumor had eaten into his skull and you could see into his skull as well as his sinuses. His right ear was long gone.

I could watch his muscles move and contract while he spoke. It was literally like watching something from The Walking Dead, except there was no sign of infection or maggots or anything else horrible.

It has literally a living, dissected skull talking to us like it was totally normal.

It was simultaneously horrifying and amazing to see.”

 

#5. Bath salts?

“Walked into back room with two patients with CP (cerebral palsy). Another client was in the back with FEMA and mentally disabled.

FEMA client was eating one of the CP clients’ face off.

Blood everywhere, and the screaming is enough to stick in my mind forever.

1/4 of her face was missing after that.”

#6. Fun with veggies

“Bok choi in an adult male’s ass.

Insisted it just, ‘slipped in.’

Removed it, and it had a condom on it.”

#7. Beware of washcloths

“A story about a quadriplegic guy who just had an operation. My teacher, another student, and I were taking care of it.

The teacher took a washcloth and decided to clean his face, and that’s when it happened.

The guy started to eat the washcloth. Yes, eat it.

The more he would eat it, the more he would start to choke on it.

The other student panicked. My teacher was pulling on the washcloth with her 2 hands and her knee on the bed to get some grip.

Nothing…

The guy was still eating it and choking. So I had, probably the best idea in my life, and I block his nostrils with my hand.

He couldn’t breathe, so he let go of the washcloth.

The 3 of us were shaking, sweating and swearing to never put a washcloth near the mouth of someone who just came back from surgery.

The funny thing is that I talked to the guy a couple of days later, and he didn’t remember a thing.”

#8. OBGYN

“Probably the most disgusting time of your medical school career will be your obstetrics and gynecology rotation.

You can expect on a daily basis to be splattered with blood/amniotic fluid mixtures, and on a slightly less frequent basis to be covered in vomit, urine, and poop.

For me the worst was assisting with C-sections. Mostly as the med student it would be your job to hold the retractor, which means standing there and pulling on a big metal thing and staying perfectly still.

Once they cut into the uterus, the amniotic fluid and blood all spills out all over your hands and arms and drips onto your gown and down to your feet.

It’s warm and there’s a lot of it and you can feel it through your gloves, but you can’t move.

That’s not really a special occurrence. It’s literally every day for the whole month (or more if you decide you like it of course).”

#9. Classy

“Walked in on a woman blowing her husband.

She had just delivered a baby 2 hours prior, who was in the NICU.
If my hubby had asked me to do that even a week after having our baby, I would have punched him in his dick-hole.”

#10. Depressing

“The worst day on the job was being the nurse for a pregnant woman who was due the same week as me…

I was in the room when the doctor told her that there wasn’t a heartbeat anymore. I sat with her while she cried.

Her boyfriend didn’t answer her calls.

She was hospitalized for an infection and I visited her after my shift. I felt so awful that she had to go through that alone.

I later found out that my baby had trisomy 13 and had an abortion.

I felt guilty for watching a woman cry over what she couldn’t control and then opting out of a wanted, albeit flawed, pregnancy.”

#11. A man and his dildo

“My dad is an ER doctor. Early in his career, he had a big, burly truck driver come into the emergency room and flat out say, ‘Doc I’ve got a dildo in my ass you’ve gotta get it out.’

So, my dad takes him into a room with a nurse accompanying him, has the guy bend over and grab the exam table, and my dad tells the nurse to duck when he says so.

He grabs hold of the end of the dildo with those gator clamp things, and straight yanks it out as hard as he can.

The nurse behind him never ducked, and a splurge of blood and shit hits her, full-frontal.

My dad said the nurse ran out screaming, leaving behind a perfect silhouette against the wall while the dildo flopped around the floor, still vibrating.”

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In 1901, a doctor was told mid-surger…

In 1901, a doctor was told mid-surgery that he was needed urgently elsewhere, to which he responded that he could not leave “even for the President of the United States”. He was then told he needed to operate on William McKinley, the President of the United States. The doctor maintained his claim and actually didn’t […]