People Explain Which Household Items Need To Be Cleaned More Often Than Anyone Realizes

If you’re in your nice clean home just hanging out enjoying the cleanliness, this article might come as more than a little distressing to you.

Because your home is probably nowhere near as clean as you think it is.

Reddit user FoxMachine asked: 

“What common household item is rarely if ever cleaned, although it should be?”

So listen, we’re going to be honest with you.

If Thanos popped up right now and said the fate of the world depended on finding someone whose fan blades, air vents and lighting fixtures were completely dust-free … well … it’s been fun while it lasted.

Lets take a look at what else is likely to get us Thanos-snapped out of existence.

We’re Toast

“The bottom of my toaster is a graveyard of charcoal crumbs.”

– CubaGoodingIII

“Working from home I was in a meeting so boring I realized I hadn’t cleaned the crumb tray of my toaster in years.”

“Imagine a meeting so boring you think about the crumb tray in your toaster. And I wasn’t even in the kitchen.”

– JustaRandomOldGuy

Just Washing The Maggots

“Once a month,the dishwasher gets the full treatment in our house.”

“Some family members are plumbers. They’ve seen things. They’ve smelled things.”

“Fun fact: most dishwasher pumps fail because of maggots. Clean your f*cking catcher and rinse off the chunks, people.”

“Maggot eggs are eeeeverywheeeerre. You can also get mould mites, drain flies, cockroaches….it’s a humid, dark environment with food scraps.”

– Taleya

Component Care

“Your computer components and setup.”

“My mouse is clean as it’s easy to swab with a q-tip… my keyboard… my keyboard is one with the dirt. You can run it through the dishwasher and still have hair stuck.”

“I’m honestly not even exaggerating. I’ve had the same mechanical keyboard for 8 or 9 years and ran it through the dishwasher multiple times, but it’s impossible to get completely clean.”

“The key caps themselves never seem too bad, it’s just getting the film of grime and dirt out from under them and between the switches.”

– ApprehensiveAd3778

“Yeah, same with keyboard and mousepad, they’re absolutely disgusting.”

“Oh yeah and DO NOT forget the chair, I found moldy food under the pillows of my friends gaming chair. one of the most disgusting things ever.”

– marcago

You Need To Shampoo That

“SOFA! maybe because it’s so hard to clean your sofa, but it’s really dirty and has dirt all over the years.”

– thitgahamtonghop

“I shampoo mine about once a month. The water is always brown.”

“I know people who have NEVER shampooed theirs. I can’t even imagine the water.” 

– Gingerbrew302

“Here in Germany, we have several stores which rent out for free a big… Wet vacuum?”

“In one container, you fill a soap solution. You spray it on the sofa.”

“The vacuum then takes in the solution and dirt. It is often shocking.”

– Joe_Rapante

That’s Not A Paint Job

“Walls.”

“I went around my place last winter after I lost my job and started washing all my walls. My family was telling me it looked like I painted them.”

– Smil3yAngel

“I have a steam mop that has a handle that detaches so it’s like a wand.”

“I steam cleaned my bathroom walls because the previous tenant was a smoker and had that nasty yellow residue on the walls. Biggest pain in the ass project, but totally worth it.”

“Cleaning my other walls is on my to-do list.”

– spitfire07

If That’s Dirty, So Are You

“Shower curtains they get so nasty people!”

– Rat_Queen91

“I don’t understand how people let theirs get so nasty. My brother’s is slightly moldy on the bottom.”

“My last place was really (pre 1920s) old with a sh*tty bathroom and mold build up in the grout around the shower/wall tiling.”

“There was also a full sized fucking window in the shower (of all places to put a window lol) with unsealed wood trim that got moldy too!”

“I don’t know how my room mates could stand it! I replaced the shower liner every few months on my own due to mold, because they just wouldn’t.”

“So glad I moved somewhere new, no one should have to fear that they are breathing black mold every time they shower.”

– QuasarsRcool

Dangerously Dry

“Blow-dryers.”

“Once every 4-6 weeks. Lint blocks the air. It’s a fire hazard and a bad hair day hazard.”

– Steen70

“I almost bought a new blow dryer one time because it had become so useless.”

“I realized how clogged with lint it was, cleaned it out, and it was like brand new!” 

– pink_mango

Cabinets Shouldn’t Be Sticky

“In your kitchen: The underside of your cabinets (as well as the top of them if you can).”

“All of the food you cook, sautee, etc. sends tiny particulates of oil and other parts of your meal into the air. It settles on all surfaces, but you clean most of them regularly.”

“The top of your cabinets is usually ignored, but it can develop quite the gunky buildup if you don’t do a fairly regular cleaning. Say, once a month or so.”

“The underside of cabinets – especially near your cook surface – should be cleaned every week or so. That oil and muck will eventually start to dry and cake on, attracting bugs and rodents and emiting a not-so-fresh smell.”

“Get a good degreaser cleaner and give those surfaces a thorough cleaning.”

– ilikemrrogers

“Can” You Imagine?

“Can opener. Look at yours and despair.”

– IAmEggnogstic

“I literally never even thought of washing one until i moved in with my wife. Blew my mind when she threw it in the dishwasher”

– 1seacow

“Isn’t it the dirtiest thing in the house? I’ve seen that a lot. Because people never think to wash them.”

– appleparkfive

“The blade under your automatic can opener.”

“People use it for all sorts of things like dog food. It can get gross.”

– chillflyguy33

Phone Check

“How often do you clean your phone?”

“How often do you check your phone in the bathroom?”

– FatsDominoPizza

“Your phone.” 

“If you actually use it for calls then it’s covered in your face oils, spit and germs from your mouth, and possibly ear wax.” 

“If you’re a normal person who just texts a lot, then it’s covered in everything you and your grubby little hands have touched.”

– Reddit

The Lid

“This is funny. I just noticed yesterday that I rarely clean the inside-top of my rice cooker.”

“Cleaned it last night and was like ‘I use this weekly and have never wiped this part down.’ Made me feel gross but yea.”

– [Reddit]

So now that you’ve seen what Reddit has to say, let’s talk about you.

What unclean horrors are you suddenly realizing you might need to clean?

Sound off!

A Woman Had Diarrhea in a $15,000 Wedding Dress Because of Detox Shakes

If you’ve seen Bridesmaids, this story may sound somewhat familiar to you.

But this was no movie, my friends. This was real-life and it sounds pretty horrific.

A “bridezilla” who had been drinking some health shakes to attempt to curb some bloating ending up paying a very steep price…in the way of poop.

Here is the tale in its entirety, from a throwaway Reddit account that couldn’t be traced (good thinking). This is a long story, but trust me, you’ll want to take the whole thing in.

I work as an event planner. It was the wedding of two fairly wealthy families, and the bride had decided on a rather rural, “shabby chic” aesthetic. The reception, she decided, would take place on family property, in a historic barn.

This caused a huge flurry of issues, between having to have the barn cleaned, the fact that we needed auxiliary tents as the barn wasn’t large enough, and the fact that the property lacked electricity and running water. The latter was solved with a bank of generators, tubs of water for catering, and a side tent with port-a-johns hidden inside.

The bride had, to be honest, been quite a bridezilla, but it’s my job to deal with those things. At this point, the ceremony had ended, cocktail hour is shutting down, professional photos were taken. We were prepping to transition to the entrance of the bridal party, which would be followed immediately by first dance and cake cutting. During this, the dinner would be staged, so every aspect was being fairly carefully timed out.

I was speaking to the caterer when I happened to glance over and see the most curious blend of expressions pass over th brides face, and she frantically waved down my assistant. A few moments later, my headset beeped on, and my assistant said “we have an issue”. It turns out that the bride had gambled on a fart and lost in a big way.

Now, the bride was wearing a huge, full ball gown, with a fitted, bones strapless top in a sort of embellished mesh. Underneath, she had a shaper garment and hoops and slips. We had already realized there was zero way of her going to the bathroom: we had issues getting her into a limo, and having her use a portajohns meant one of us would have to get personal. That was my assistants job. I radioed to everyone to expect a fifteen minute delay, and they headed towards the tent.

The fifteen minutes pass. Then twenty. Finally, my earpiece beeps on. “The previous issue is more than we anticipated.” I ran over to find my assistant looking horrified.

The bride, it turns out, had been using some health shakes in an attempt to fix last minute bloating. This had mixed poorly with the cocktails from earlier, and she had eaten a fairly decent breakfast. The substance that had come out of her body as a result defied explanation. It was slimy, oily even, with stringy bits and the consistency of hair gel. Not only had it been a rather profound accident, but the smell was unrivaled. Generally, a substance no human body should emit.

But the thing that set it over the edge was that the shaper the bride wore was a latex deal that came down over the thighs and up to her bra. Waterproof, the poo had just sort of filled it, like a water balloon of horror. My assistant had opened up the snap crotch and just released the evil trickling down the brides thighs.

My assistant quickly sealed it back up and she and the bride vainly tried to wipe up the goo, dry, with toilet paper. This just spread it around, so they decide to give up.

Now I have a shell shocked assistant and a crying bride. You can smell her four feet away. The bride is just flipping out that she’s making her guests wait, that she has a choreographed dance waiting to happen, and she needs to be introduced NOW. I’m just looking at her manicured nails. Residue of diarrhea are just imbedded in her nail bed.

I start trying to scrape the poo out with a fabric stain wipe, while the bride insists that the show must go on, immediately. I give in that this is an issue which will have to wait, and signal to start introductions. The groom looks vaguely disconcerted by his new wife’s odor, but I tell my assistant to distract him until they take the floor. Introductions happen, the dance starts, and we find some fresh horror.

The dance was a choreographed affair, and as the groom spun his bride around, hand on her waist, he is squishing the poo up the insides of the waist trainer, up and out the back waistband. To our horror, we watch as a oily stain spread across the mid back of the gown. As we are still cringing from this, the groom sets his hand firmly in the middle of the poo stain.

Action had to be taken as soon as the couple left the dance floor, it was obvious, and I left my assistant in charge while I made preparations. She kept radioing me: the stain was spreading, she could smell the poo from her spot by the dj. They were cutting the cake now. They were feeding the cake to each other, both now with shit stained fingers. Each was looking downright repulsed.

As they left the dance floor, I had someone rush wet naps to the groom and to bring me the bride. The support tent was closed down for me, and I pulled a tub of clean water from the caterers. She walked in to find me in dish gloves and a poncho, like American Psycho, The five minutes, I was sponging down a sobbing, naked bride, while I questioned every life decision that lead to this point.

The diarrhea was everywhere, spread in a thin layer across her body. It may be the most disgusting thing I’ve ever dealt with. With her clean, I threw away the waist shaper, and scrubbed down the $15 k wedding gown back in a plastic basin. The inner lining was a loss, and I cut it out completely.

Dressed again, and offered a Xanax, the bride was little worse for wear, except for missing her dinner. The support tent smelled like a sewer and just was closed for the remainder of the event. The groom was a sport, never directly saying anything, but asking if we could cancel the garter toss as he didn’t really want to go under her skirt.

Pictures from the event appeared in a magazine. Still photos, away from the smell, were beautiful.

Well, at least the photos were good?

Yikes, that is too much…

The post A Woman Had Diarrhea in a $15,000 Wedding Dress Because of Detox Shakes appeared first on UberFacts.

The People Who Committed These 15 Crimes Against Food Need to Be Sent to Prison Immediately

I’m having a hard time getting over this.

I didn’t think that reading all of these super weird/disgusting/horrible food combos would upset me so much… but yeah… I’m upset. Like REALLY way too upset.

Why do you do this to food, people? How do you think this is right?

Sorry in advance fo the complete and absolute destruction of your current future appetites.

1. Went too far.

“I used to be obsessed with A1 steak sauce. I would put it on EVERYTHING possible because I loved it so much. One day, I put it on jello.

I no longer enjoy A1.”

2. Purple cow? More like purple garbage can!

“When I visited my aunt’s family as a kid she served a ‘purple cow’ — milk mixed with grape juice — for breakfast.

If you haven’t tasted that, take my word for it.

It’s not a great concoction.”

3. A complete nutter

“My mom puts peanut butter on cold pizza.

It is the closest flavor to vomit that is not vomit.”

4. Christ on a cracker!

“My sister would make Ritz cracker ‘sandwiches,’ except the thing that went between the two Ritz cracker ‘buns’ was ANOTHER Ritz cracker…except she’d chewed it up and spit it out onto the other two.

It was disgusting.”

5. You get a divorce IMMEDIATELY! You hear me?!?

“My wife dips her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into SpaghettiOs.”

6. Disgusting word of the year: creamify

“This kid I knew in school used to rip open his milk carton and dip his burrito into his chocolate milk.

Sometimes he’d even go so far as to rip open the burrito itself and pour his milk onto the beef and eggs in order to (and I’m quoting him here) ‘creamify the meat.’

I don’t know, man, the word ‘creamify’ is just… ugh.”

7. This bothers everybody

“My mom’s boyfriend. Crushed Cheez-It crackers.

Into his coffee.

Mom said I shouldn’t let it bother me.

It bothers me.”

8. Your extended family is pit full of food-ruining vipers and must be stopped!

“My wife likes to make crunchy peanut butter and bologna sandwiches (with cheese). Her mom also adds mayo.

I just can’t bring myself to try it — literally start retching at the thought of the flavor.”

9. You no good, dirty sonofabitch…

“I watched a guy pour Sprite into a nice $50 bottle of wine because he didn’t like the flavor.”

10. OMFG!

“My baby sister used to eat pancakes with ranch dressing.

My mom just accepted it because she was SUCH a picky eater, and this was something she just thoroughly enjoyed.

We’re pretty sure it’s because my mom craved both (though separately) when she was pregnant with her.”

11. Sir, you are in PUBLIC?!

“There was a dude in my dining hall that had a plate of sunny-side-up eggs.

Scooped under an egg with his fork, brought it up to his mouth, and only touched his lips to the yolk. Proceeded to suck all the yolk, and then slurped the rest of the egg in.

It was like a car crash; I couldn’t look away but I was horrified.”

12. We will no longer be talking to each other. Thank you. Bye!

“A couple of years ago when my best friend and I were still in college, she stayed over at my place a few times.

It was then that I learned that she liked dipping cheese into hot chocolate. Like, full on dunking it in, waiting for it to partially melt, swirling it around, and then eating it.

I love her to bits, she’s like my sister…but I still haven’t entirely recovered.”

13. Okay, I’m done. I can’t do this any longer.

“I work at a pub waiting tables.

One day, this couple walked in who I’d never seen, but were apparently regulars. The bartender saw them, shot me a glance, and went to grab something from the kitchen.

Before even taking their order, he’d filled the crushed red pepper shaker and told me to take it over to them. The woman ordered a small cup of french onion soup and proceeded to unscrew the cap of this shaker and dump THE ENTIRETY of it onto her soup.

She was eating spicy red pepper like cereal and didn’t even ask for a drink refill.”

14. I’m officially dead.

“I used to work as a bartender.

One day, a middle-aged man walked in and ordered a beer with milk.”

15. Oh god! I didn’t stop. Why?!?!?

“Saw a dude eat spaghetti in milk one time.

One very dark time.”

*shudder*

I need a shower.

The post The People Who Committed These 15 Crimes Against Food Need to Be Sent to Prison Immediately appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Crimes Against Food That Deserve Prison Time

What? Is? Wrong? With? People?

I didn’t think that reading all of these super weird/disgusting/horrible food combos would upset me so much… but yeah… I’m upset. Like REALLY way too upset.

Why do you do this to food, people? How do you think this is right?

Sorry in advance for the complete and absolute destruction of your current future appetites.

1. Disgusting word of the year: creamify

“This kid I knew in school used to rip open his milk carton and dip his burrito into his chocolate milk.

Sometimes he’d even go so far as to rip open the burrito itself and pour his milk onto the beef and eggs in order to (and I’m quoting him here) ‘creamify the meat.’

I don’t know, man, the word ‘creamify’ is just… ugh.”

2. This bothers everybody

“My mom’s boyfriend. Crushed Cheez-It crackers.

Into his coffee.

Mom said I shouldn’t let it bother me.

It bothers me.”

3. Okay, I’m done. I can’t do this any longer.

“I work at a pub waiting tables.

One day, this couple walked in who I’d never seen, but were apparently regulars. The bartender saw them, shot me a glance, and went to grab something from the kitchen.

Before even taking their order, he’d filled the crushed red pepper shaker and told me to take it over to them. The woman ordered a small cup of french onion soup and proceeded to unscrew the cap of this shaker and dump THE ENTIRETY of it onto her soup.

She was eating spicy red pepper like cereal and didn’t even ask for a drink refill.”

4. Oh god! I didn’t stop. Why?!?!?

“Saw a dude eat spaghetti in milk one time.

One very dark time.”

5. I’m officially dead.

“I used to work as a bartender.

One day, a middle-aged man walked in and ordered a beer with milk.”

6. Your extended family is pit full of food-ruining vipers and must be stopped!

“My wife likes to make crunchy peanut butter and bologna sandwiches (with cheese). Her mom also adds mayo.

I just can’t bring myself to try it — literally start retching at the thought of the flavor.”

7. You no good, dirty sonofabitch…

“I watched a guy pour Sprite into a nice $50 bottle of wine because he didn’t like the flavor.”

8. OMFG!

“My baby sister used to eat pancakes with ranch dressing.

My mom just accepted it because she was SUCH a picky eater, and this was something she just thoroughly enjoyed.

We’re pretty sure it’s because my mom craved both (though separately) when she was pregnant with her.”

9. Purple cow? More like purple garbage can!

“When I visited my aunt’s family as a kid she served a ‘purple cow’ — milk mixed with grape juice — for breakfast.

If you haven’t tasted that, take my word for it.

It’s not a great concoction.”

10. Went too far.

“I used to be obsessed with A1 steak sauce. I would put it on EVERYTHING possible because I loved it so much. One day, I put it on jello.

I no longer enjoy A1.”

11. A complete nutter

“My mom puts peanut butter on cold pizza.

It is the closest flavor to vomit that is not vomit.”

12. Christ on a cracker!

“My sister would make Ritz cracker ‘sandwiches,’ except the thing that went between the two Ritz cracker ‘buns’ was ANOTHER Ritz cracker…except she’d chewed it up and spit it out onto the other two.

It was disgusting.”

13. You get a divorce IMMEDIATELY! You hear me?!?

“My wife dips her peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into SpaghettiOs.”

14. Sir, you are in PUBLIC?!

“There was a dude in my dining hall that had a plate of sunny-side-up eggs.

Scooped under an egg with his fork, brought it up to his mouth, and only touched his lips to the yolk. Proceeded to suck all the yolk, and then slurped the rest of the egg in.

It was like a car crash; I couldn’t look away but I was horrified.”

15. We will no longer be talking to each other. Thank you. Bye!

“A couple of years ago when my best friend and I were still in college, she stayed over at my place a few times.

It was then that I learned that she liked dipping cheese into hot chocolate. Like, full on dunking it in, waiting for it to partially melt, swirling it around, and then eating it.

I love her to bits, she’s like my sister…but I still haven’t entirely recovered.”

*shudder*

I need a shower.

The post 15 Crimes Against Food That Deserve Prison Time appeared first on UberFacts.