Category: crazy

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People Share Their Stories About Things Really Work on TV Shows like ‘Jerry Springer’

How does it work???

When people tune in to television shows like Maury and Jerry Springer, they expect to see drama…and it’s drama they get. But how real is what we see on our TV screens? Are shows like this completely fabricated, or are those people actually unsure who the father is?

A number of users on Reddit have responded to AskReddit threads about this very subject. Some have been on these shows themselves, other have friends who told them all about it, but all of them offer an inside look at how shows like these are made.

1. Devastated

A guy I work with was a regular on Maury. He was one of the people that you’d see ‘updates’ on fairly regularly.

He first went on there because his girlfriend had something to tell him. It turns out that she had cheated on him and there was a possibility that he wasn’t the father of their child. He’s crying and they bring out the guy she cheated with. They’ve done DNA tests and tell my co-worker that he IS NOT the father. He’s crazy about his kid, so of course, he’s devastated.

Then they read the results for the other guy. Of course, he IS NOT the father, either. She swears that’s the only time she’s cheated. Then they go back on Maury and she remembered about three other guys she had cheated with.

Go figure, none of them are the father, either.

They wound up testing seven or eight guys before they actually found the real father. My co-worker stupidly actually ended up marrying her. Ultimately, I think it came down to the kid. He wanted to be in their life but had no legal rights to do so if he dumped her…at least, that’s what I hope it was. Yet no one was too surprised when she dumped him a couple years later because she’d started hooking up with the baby daddy again.

Last I saw of him, he was fired because he kept showing up to work all messed up. I still occasionally flip through channels and see re-runs with him on it.

2. Made Him Look Stupid

A good friend of mine was on Jerry Springer. At the time, he had a fiancée, and they thought it would be something funny to do. So they made up this whole story that she was a dancer in Vegas, and while out on vacation he met her and has been stalking her ever since. You know, standard Jerry.

So they fly them out there, put them up in a hotel, everything seems to be just fun and games. Well, they show up at the studio and the costume team starts going nuts on them. You know how everyone wears shirts that are too big for them? Well, I learned that it’s a deliberate thing Jerry’s team does to men who they want to look especially stupid (and oh god did he look stupid – we still bust on him).

At the taping, they are both nervous as anything. My boy has visible sweat stains and his voice kept squeaking, but they made it through it. He was demolished by the crowd afterward, I honestly wish I taped it because I only have my memory. Anyway, they broke up two months later. No more fiancée for my buddy Vince. He is still a great guy with an amazing sense of humor (and a new girlfriend) so I guess his life was pretty good afterward. He gets ripped on all the time for being on the show, but that’s just guys busting on each other.

3. Blood on the stage

I had a buddy that was on Springer a few years ago. One day, the Jerry Springer show called him. I always tell him that you know your life is messed up when Springer calls YOU, but anyway.

The true story is that my buddy’s then wife’s transvestite ex-boyfriend wanted her back. So Springer calls him and they start the process of booking the show. A few days later, the ex drops out. Since they’ve already booked the show, the producer says, ‘Is there anything else you’d like to talk about? Anything?

ANYTHING?’ insinuating that they should just make something else up.

They came up with a story where my buddy was cheating on his wife with his male friend, but that she was also cheating on him with her girlfriend. But wait! Both of the paramours were also cheating — with each other! They flew out to Stamford for the taping. Before the show, the lawyer came in and gave them ‘the speech’ — no cursing, no throwing things. no acting like jerks.

Then, the producer came in and said to ignore all the stuff that guy had just said.

‘I want you to break chairs, I want you to throw things, curse all you want, just don’t get blood on the stage.’ They went out and acted out their made-up story. His wife’s ‘lover’ danced on the pole. He and his ‘boyfriend’ ripped their shirts off and tried to beat each other up. At the questions and answers section, somebody in the audience called him a ‘werewolf-looking dude.’

Everyone in the audience jumped up and did a weird dance when they found out he was from Tennessee. Then they flew back.

The show aired a couple months later. I couldn’t be seen out in public with him without people recognizing him and asking if I was his new lover. That got old, quickly.

4. Ridiculous

I was a guest on the Carnie Wilson Show (eons ago when she had a show). A friend of mine’s then-girlfriend was a producer for it. She’d heard through my buddy that I had reconnected with a girl I used to have a crush on (let’s call her Yolanda) and was wondering if I’d agree to be flown to New York, be picked up in a limo and put up in a hotel in exchange for telling her as much on national television.

Of course, I said yes.

We did a pre-interview on the phone and my buddy’s girlfriend, the producer, asked the basic questions I was likely to be asked. I answered with humor and charm and I was to repeat this basic banter on the air. No problem. As we’re ending the conversation she says, ‘So after the first segment Carnie will say ‘and when we come back we’ll meet [me] who says he must sleep with Yolanda’ and then after the break we’ll come back and Carnie will say, ‘So, you must sleep with Yolanda’ and you will say, ‘yes, I must sleep with Yolanda’ and then we’ll do all those other questions I just asked you.

Okay? Gotta go.’

‘Wait a minute,’ I thought, ‘I never said I must sleep with anybody.’ So it’s the day of, and I’m still not really comfortable with the language. Would I sleep with Yolanda? Sure, if she was up for it. Did I have to? Was it absolutely imperative that this happen? Of course not. Besides, it made me sound desperate.

And if there’s one thing I hate it’s sounding desperate. This whole thing was starting to make me feel uncomfortable.

So there I was on stage in front of a live studio audience and the producer comes out and goes over what’s going to happen again. Then her boss, the executive producer, comes over and says the exact same thing, verbatim.

This was getting ridiculous.

I didn’t immediately respond, searching instead for a tactful way to bring up my concerns moments before taping. The execs must have seen the concern on my face because she looked at my friend’s girlfriend like she was about to get fired and said, ‘You’ve gone over this right?’

When she hesitated, the boss looked at me instead and in the most stern, ‘don’t mess with me’ broadcast voice said ‘You’ve gone over it now.’ She marched off stage. I look to my producer friend and meekly ask, ‘Couldn’t I just say I’d really like to sleep with Yolanda?’ She scrunches an apologetic face and says ‘Must.’

And when I heard Carnie Wilson of Wilson Phillips’ fame say ‘So, you must sleep with Yolanda?’

Time stood still. I looked out at the sea of faces. Regular American folk, suddenly and inexplicably riveted by my tawdry, speculative intimate life. I thought of the lyrics to ‘Hold On,’ one of Wilson Phillips’ most popular songs: ‘No one can change your life except for you, don’t ever let anyone step all over you.’

Would Carnie want me to follow this advice right now? If I said ‘Meh, I’m in if she is?’ what would they do? Would they stop rolling and scold me in front of this full house of strangers? What would Carnie Wilson do if I threw her under the bus? The truth is I would never find out because that was the moment that I discovered what a spineless media monster I am.

I didn’t just say the words, I said them like it was the most important thing I would ever do. ‘Yes.” I proclaimed, ‘Yes I must sleep with Yolanda!’ And that night I did, twice, and it was just so-so.

5. Signals

Years ago, a friend of mine was on Springer. She and her two male housemates had been sitting around drinking and someone said, ‘Hey, wouldn’t it be fun to be on Springer?’ They devised some lame premise, phoned the show and three weeks later they on a paid-for trip to Chicago on an episode titled, ‘My Girlfriend Sells Herself Out.’ Their idea was to pretend that she listed her ‘services’ on Craigslist and that one of her housemates was her boyfriend and the other a client.

The guys went out partying the night before the show, but she decided to stay in.

Watching Fraser that night, one of the characters said something like ‘some of us are angels, some are devils and the rest of us are just doing the best we can.’ She thought that that would be something a streetwalker might say, so she dropped it during the segment the next day. She said that was the only moment when the ’emotions’ guy signaled the audience with a finger to his temple so they would all say ‘hmm.’

The other emotions the audience are signaled by thumbs-up (cheering) and thumbs down (booing). She is a very funny girl and lots of fun, but she did not give me the sense that being on Springer was particularly enjoyable. I have the impression that she wishes she hadn’t gone through with it. They were paid only for their trip, accommodation and about 100 dollars in expenses each. She didn’t speak with Jerry behind the scenes but said that there is a ‘priest’ who works behind the camera who spent tons of time with them and even contacted them after the show to see how things had worked out for everyone following the show.

She said this guy hit on her pretty hard.

6. Lie Detector

I appeared on Jeremy Kyle (British version of Maury and Jerry Springer) in December 2015. I went on because 800-1000 pounds (we didn’t know the exact amount) was stolen from my mum’s wardrobe. My mum was saving it up for Christmas as a little extra for all of us since she has 5 children.

Our family isn’t a trashy family and we’re all just normal people, apart from my 25-year-old brother, who also just happens to be a substance addict with a serious drinking problem.

So of course when 800-1000 quid went missing we all knew it was him.

But of course, him being the addict scumbag he is, he denied it constantly and proclaimed his innocence. My parents were so angry at him and my dad was even close to kicking the life out of him. They basically said you’ve got 2 weeks to get out of the house, so my brother, knowing that he has nowhere to go and no money thought the best option to prove his innocence was to get in contact with the Jeremy Kyle show to take a lie detector test.

He calls up the show and they all interview us over the phone and a few hours later they call back and ask if we can come to Manchester in two days (we live in Northern Ireland so they would pay all the flights and all the taxis) and we said yes.

My brother was booked to fly over the day before us – the day right after he first got in contact with the show.

The producers of the show book a taxi to go to our house, collect us (just me, my sister, and mum) and drive us to the airport. They had the flight all sorted so getting over to Manchester was so smooth.

As soon as we got off the plane we got the taxi to the hotel. The hotel was pretty bad but you got free meals so I guess that was the only good thing about it. My brother, since he left the day before us, was not in contact with us and was placed in a different hotel.

We spent one night in the hotel and the very next morning the producers come to collect us.

We go to the studio, get searched, our phones and bags taken off us and put into this very nice room that even had a bathroom with a shower in it. We wait there for about one to two hours until we’re called for a sound check.

We basically just go onto the stage and test the microphones we will be using. Afterward, we’re sent back to our room and the producers come and talk to us and have already decided how the show will play out.

Basically, they put me in the audience for some reason and told me to shout out as much as possible, as Jeremy hates quiet people on his show because he feels like he wasted money bringing them on. They decided that my sister would come out first and do most of the talking because she was the most outgoing one of us.

They said our brother would then come out and Jeremy, my sister, and my brother would talk for a while before they’d bring my mum out and then read the lie detector results.

After an hour in the nice room, we were finally told that we’re going on the show now.

We went backstage and I was brought to the middle of the audience by one of the workers (one of the most awkward moments of my life – the audience just looks at you with pure disgust and laughs at you for just being on the show).

Jeremy then comes out and does a few takes of his opening lines, and then he calls out my sister onto the show. They talk for a bit, he calls out my brother, then my mum, and then reads the lie detector.

Of course, he was lying. The audience was so shocked that he was lying because he doesn’t look like an addict and speaks like a normal guy, but my family obviously knew he had stolen the money.

So of course, like a typical Jeremy Kyle victim, he denies it and says the lie detector is wrong.

Jeremy insults him for a bit and the show is over and we’re led straight out the door and into the taxi to the airport. The whole show lasted about 15 minutes. Of course, my parents, being as nice as they are, didn’t kick him out and he continues to live in our house and gets high and HE STILL DENIES HE STOLE THE MONEY.

We all just try to ignore his existence. We didn’t get any money for going on the show, all we got was the free hotel room for the night and the meals in the hotel.

Jeremy Kyle was just as big of a jerk in real life as he is on the show.

He insulted the jumper I was wearing before the cameras even started rolling, and when I shouted out something from the audience, as I was told to do, about my brother stealing in the past, Jeremy Kyle turned around and gave me the dirtiest look ever and said ‘don’t you talk over me, this is the Jeremy Kyle show, I speak first.’

I just apologized and stopped talking. All in all, it wasn’t too bad of an experience though – the producers we talked to were the sweetest and nicest people I’ve met in a long time.

7. Awful

My girlfriend and I were visiting Chicago and had just gotten off the architecture tour boat. We were looking for a sandwich and there was a cafe underneath the NBC building. The cafe was closed, but there was a long line to get into the studio entrance.

The doorman asked if we want to watch the Jenny Jones show. For whatever reason, we said yes. We were escorted into a large waiting room. We sat there forever.

Eventually, a woman comes out and tells us about the show, ‘Missed Connections’ or something like that.

It was going to feature people who had a one nighter on spring break who they were going to reunite on the show. The people who had signed up in advance had been instructed to wear certain color clothes.

The woman encouraged people to get up to the microphone and be as controversial as possible. We were told once we sat down in the audience chairs that we couldn’t leave because they didn’t want empty seats.

We finally sit down, and there were cheerleaders on either side of the stage below signs that said ‘applause.’

The signs flashed on whenever they wanted a crowd reaction. It was awful. We wanted to leave. It took about 4 hours for the whole thing. To top it off, one of the boy bands from around 2000 was the ‘special guest’ and we all got free CDs.

I just wanted a sandwich. By the way, the show was atrocious and Jenny took time-outs for makeup and the people on stage were constantly being coached during breaks.

8. Paid Actors

My wife and I were down in Jamaica in the early 2000s and Jerry Springer was taping on our resort’s beach. They tape multiple shows in a day. Theoretically, they are supposed to blur your face if you appear on camera without signing a release.

This doesn’t apply to audience members, only to people caught on film in background shots of the beach. My wife and I never signed a release and we hung out in a hammock all day right next to the taping location.

A lot, if not all, of the ‘guests’ were paid actors.

At one point, we saw them rehearsing a verbal fight and then pacing off the physical confrontation. Springer had nothing to do with the planning. It looked like it was all up to the show’s director, and Springer would just come out and react to the foolishness taking place in front of him.

They had a segment about hypnotizing people. Ms. Texas was a guest on this show. She walked up to our hammock and started talking to us. Now, before you get any ideas, we are absolutely NOT the type of people that this sort of stuff happens to.

No ‘Dear Penthouse Letters, I never thought this would happen to me.’ We are not of the Beautiful People Master Race. So, needless to say, this was very odd to us.

After talking for about five minutes, she asked us to watch over her bikini.

She then proceeded to take it off and prance, and yes it was definitely a prance, over to the show. Now, this is weird on many levels. First, why is she asking a random couple laying in a hammock to hold her bikini when she could have just given to a production assistant.

Second, why was she even talking to us at all? It wasn’t like we happen to be in a convenient spot compared to where they were taping the show. The conversation was actually pretty normal. We asked about the Ms.

Nude competition and what she did for a living (shockingly, it was nude modeling and dancing). The entire Springer crew went to a foam party dance club after taping that night. The resort had a kind of act similar to a Jamaican themed circus for entertainment that night.

A large group of the female Springer guests kept yelling for the male contortionist to do various things on stage. It was an all-inclusive resort, so the drinks were HEAVILY flowing.

9. Separated

My wife and I were on Ricki Lake back in 1993. We were dating back then, we are married now. We told a lie to get on the show, saying that my cousin was too big a part of our relationship, and she wanted him out.

The real story is that my wife was born in Iraq but moved to America when she was still a baby. I was born in Iraq and moved to Canada before I was 5. She’s an American girl. I’m a Canadian guy. She has attitude, I’m passive.

She’s the one to go off on a car driver, I’m the guy who says, eh it’s all right. My cousin always hung out with us wherever we went. He would jokingly say I should grow a pair and he would stick up for me if my wife felt the need to yell at me.

I just don’t want to inconvenience anyone, especially not her since I was in love so I would go along with whatever.

So we took this premise and made it more serious, and Ricki Lake went with it. When we got there they placed us each in our own rooms and started with, ‘Well, she said if you actually stuck up for yourself and grew a pair of balls maybe you wouldn’t need your cousin,’ etc.

Basically, they separate you into private rooms, then they have producers come in and stir things up. She said this about you. He said this about you.

None of it was true, but when you have 6 people saying this to you in a closed room for over 30 minutes you start to believe that hey, maybe she did say something.

My wife took it way harder than I did. I was mad that they would outright lie to me about something my wife said to get a juicier story. I know I lied to get on but it wasn’t that far off from the truth.

So we went in there laughing but when we got on stage we were angry because of the lies the producers told.

I don’t remember all of the lies, but the one that has stuck with me is, ‘She just called you a wimp in the other room. She thinks you have no backbone and that is why you need your cousin to defend you.’

That struck me hard and I was pretty mad hearing that. I did not know that the producers were lying at the time. I believed every word they said, as did she. Looking back though, we still laugh about this and our daughter thinks this is the greatest thing.

10. All Dressed Up

My old neighbors were on the Maury show. While the basic story they featured was true, there was a lot of embellishment. The story was that the wife wanted the husband to quit his band and change his appearance.

For the show, the wife was given very conservative clothes and appeared much more serious than she ever was in real life. The man was dressed to look like a wild man. In real life, they were both somewhere in the middle.

They did some taped segments ahead of time and although the staff did not tell them what to say, the staff did suggest re-taping portions to make them ‘support the story more.’ It was a gentle prompting and they felt like they had to be dramatic to get on the show.

Their trip to the show was paid for.

They never saw Maury until they went out on the stage. The only interaction they had with him were those 15 or so minutes he questioned them. The husband, as expected, agreed to change his ways and they left the stage.

They were escorted from the building and headed home. The wife had to return the clothes she was given to wear on the show. They thought the trip was fun and worth it. I did not know this couple well but they loved that people who knew them saw the show and they said they would have done it again in a minute.

11. Scripted

My sister was on Maury. The theme of her episode was ‘controlling boyfriends’ or something like that. The joke of it was she and her boyfriend were broken up when they got the call to be on the show so they got back together just to go on (they have an on-again and off-again relationship all the time anyway).

The whole thing is fairly scripted.

They told them what to say and do. They made it seem like they lived together and that she was his slave. In actuality, they both live with their parents and he doesn’t even own a car so they only see each other when she drives to him.

They both got paid a little bit of money (she just got compensated for her normal salary for the day, he got around $100 because he is unemployed). So far nothing has changed. They are still in an on-again-off-again relationship and no one has mentioned to her that they saw the episode so her life is literally no different.

12. Crowdwork

I went to both shows as an audience member. Jerry’s crowd was kind of boring, which was disappointing because I love Jerry way more than Maury. Maury’s crowd was ABSOLUTELY INSANE. Before the show even started people were dancing and grinding in the aisles like it was a club.

It was 11 am on a Thursday. So much more fun. So if you’re gonna go be an audience member, go to Maury. Jerry is kinda lame. They also shoot Steve Wilkos in the same studio.

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A Guy Shared Some New Parents’ List of Meal Requests on Nextdoor App and It Is Bonkers

Having your first child is an overwhelming, 24/7 job that usually makes people put aside their pride and reach out for any assistance they can get.

And one of the easiest things they can get is food. And lots of it. It’s often called a “meal train” and it’s so valuable.

But this couple… wow. They’re something else.

Meet Jack Jokinen. He joined the social network Nextdoor, which is basically just Facebook but for your neighborhood. He saw a post from some soon-to-be parents who asked for help after their baby was born.

And then things got CRAZY…

Yeah, we’re ready…

Oh, you don’t think that’s what they’re doing Jack? Well, get ready…

“On a fence of emotions” might just be my new favorite phrase.

But it gets better…

Yeah. YEAH.

And here are the meals…

Breakfast and Lunch…

Dinner…

And even Snacks! Because why not, right?

It keeps going!

And going…

Jack has the right response…

Needless to say, the story went viral and people had some things to say…

Some negative…

Some positive…

What do you think?

Personally, I think this guy had the right reaction.

If you’re asking people to help you out FOR FREE with meals, you can list a couple dietary restrictions… but this is nuts.

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People Share the Crazy Rules They Followed When They Were Kids

The question posed on Reddit was: “What’s the weirdest rule you had in your home growing up?”

And after reading the responses… here’s the follow up question: What the fuck is wrong with people?

Plenty apparently, because these 13 people share insane rules they had to follow when they were growing up. And some of them are rules they put on themselves… because people are dumb.

Get ready for some craziness!

13. Dumb brother is dumb.

“My dad made up this rule to stop my big brother from asking about getting a dog every 10 seconds.

We had neighbors on both sides who already had dogs, so the rule was that only every OTHER house could have a dog.

My brother believed it for a LONG time.”

12. Salty…

“Salt was for guests only.

The actual use of spices was VERY looked down on in my house and was seen as a huge insult to my mom and dad, even though they were absolutely horrid cooks.”

11. Liquid sex…

“I couldn’t recline or lay my body down AT ALL if my boyfriend was over.

My mom thought that me laying down would give them ‘thoughts,’ so I couldn’t do it.

Once I put my feet up on the couch while my FIANCÉ was over and my mom got pissed because she thought I was ‘trying to turn him on.’”

10. When you go to prison…

“I wasn’t allowed to put sugar in my tea because my mum told me that ‘when you go to prison they don’t let you have sugar, so it will make prison that much harder.’

1. Thanks for having so much faith in me, mum.

2. I’m pretty sure you are allowed sugar for your tea in prison.”

9. Diverticulosis SUCKS

“My dad had diverticulosis (pockets in the intestine) and couldn’t eat sesame seeds (among other things).

So, when we would eat fast food sandwiches, everyone HAD to give their bottom buns to Dad, in exchange for his top buns.

However, this reasoning was never explained and it was this way from before I born, so it was LITERALLY when I was in college that I realized that it wasn’t normal. I thought it was just ‘Dad Privilege’ to have two bottom buns.”

8. No pizza-balling!

“At my friend’s house they had a ‘no pizza-balling’ rule.

There were three teenage brothers living there, and when they ordered pizzas, tempers flared quickly when someone would try to grab as many slices as they could. The first rule in place was that you couldn’t have more than one slice at a time, and you could grab another once you had the last bite in your mouth. Anyway, one of the brothers quickly figured it out that if you ball up a slice he could fit it in his mouth and grab another one.

Hence the ‘no pizza-balling’ rule.”

7. She timed you?!?

“I could only buy things if I was buying them for a birthday or Christmas gift for somebody else.

Mind you, this was my OWN money I earned from my OWN job.

My mom knew exactly how long it took me to get home from school, so if I stopped at the store she knew, and I’d be in trouble.”

6. Pronoun probs

“My parents acted like referring to them as ‘he’ or ‘she’ while they were in the room was the equivalent of saying ‘fuck you.”

So referring to my parents with pronouns was, effectively, not allowed.”

5. Backdoor blues…

“We were not allowed to use the front door. Ever.

There was a metal screen on it with a deadbolt that needed a key for either side.

My stepdad kept the key and even visitors had to go to the back through the side gate.”

4. What happens to stupid people when they get older?

“When my dad would get home from work, my friend would have to go home. His parents told him that because that meant it was dinnertime and therefore he should come home.

However, him being a child, didn’t grasp that portion of the rule. He only understood ‘come home when the dad gets home.’ This translated in my friend being terrified of my father.

If he saw my dad turning into the driveway, he would drop whatever we were doing and sprint home.”

3. High hats…

“I wasn’t allowed to wear my hat backwards because my dad thought that it was a gang thing.

Mind you, this was in rural Wisconsin in the ’90s.

My parents are wonderful people, they just may not have had the best understanding of the world at that time.”

2. The candy trick

“My mom had me believing the Great Pumpkin from the classic It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown special existed.

The rules of Halloween were that I could only pick 10 candies from my trick-or-treat bag and the rest had to be ‘given to the Great Pumpkin.’

In reality, the ‘Great Pumpkin’ was my dad’s work cubicle.”

1. More towels!!!

“We were only allowed one clean towel a week.

We could do whatever we wanted with it, but we didn’t get another clean one until the next week.”

Note to self…

…gotta use that Great Pumpkin trick when I have kids…

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15 People Reveal the Conspiracy Theory They Believe To Be True

Are there any conspiracy theories that you believe in? Personally, I am convinced that there are aliens out there – though I’m not sure the government is covering it up. I just think they are actively avoiding us because humanity sucks.

Somebody on Reddit asked the questions: “What conspiracy theory do you believe to be true? What evidence led you to this conclusion?”

And lo, the people delivered!

1. The real conspiracy…

I’m starting to think that the really stupid conspiracy theories (vaccines causing autism, flat earth, lizard people, etc.) are intentionally spread by propaganda groups and troll farms.

They don’t care what stupid shit you believe, but they are very interested to know that you’re a gullible mark who will believe anything with no evidence, and won’t do research with authorities on the matter to find the truth.

If you want to spread misinformation, look for the people who do it as a hobby.

2. Oh snap….

The 10 year challenge all over social media is actually a way to record and gather more facial recognition data

3. The strange killing of John Lang.

The Fresno Police killed John Lang.

It’s been a while since I’ve read the story, so forgive me if I get something wrong. John Lang was a journalist who was very critical of the FPD. He wrote an article about how the police went into poor parts of the city and pulled cars over that parked in free parking lots or something like that. Eventually, he started noticing people watching his house, “FBI style.”

One night he asked on Facebook if he could stay in someone’s home for the night, as he knew the police were going to kill him that night. After no one let him, his house caught on fire.

4. F is for Fake

I’ve always speculated that a lot of priceless artwork and historical documents are actually replicas or copies.

Obviously a painting by a world-famous artist using a very specific technique would be very hard to fake, and I don’t think that every art scholar in the world is paid off in some grand conspiracy.

Rather, I just think that either the national treasures never left their vaults or that some national treasures actually were lost to history but they were copied.

5. The OJ theory…

O.J. Simpson didn’t do it, it was Jason Simpson.

O.J. didn’t do it: Nicole Brown was nearly decapitated and Ron Goldman was stabbed 20+ times and had numerous defensive wounds. The prosecution claimed the injuries were consistent with two knives being used and produced a stiletto knife -good for stabbing but not cutting- and a Swiss Army knife -not really good for hurting anyone other than yourself. O.J. had only a small cut on his hand with no other evidence of having been in a fight. The only blood found in his home were a few drops of his own blood which were contaminated with a preservative used in blood draws.

Jason did it: Means: Jason was employed as a sous-chef and had his own knife set, and also owned a double-edged combat knife.

Motive: Jason was cooking alone at his restaurant that night and had specifically invited Nicole to come see him cook. She stood him up and went to Mezzaluna where Ron Goldman worked. Jason was known to be bothered by Nicole seeing men other than his father.

Opportunity: Jason’s timecard that night was handwritten for a time much later than when the restaurant shut down. His alibi changed multiple times, but the last time anyone can definitely account for him is around 9:30 that night.

The kicker? The day after the murders, O.J. retained one of L.A.’s top criminal defense attorneys for Jason and did not hire his own defense attorney until several days later.

6. Michael?!?

Sony killed Michael Jackson.

He owned the rights to the Beatles discography.

After he died, Sony had remastered versions of every Beatles album available days after MJ’s estate sold the rights to Sony.

There’s no way they could have remastered the albums and published the CDs in that short amount of time.

7. The art market…

I believe that modern/minimalistic art exists solely for money laundering. It’s just a way for rich people to move money around. There’s a reason why paintings of plain geometric shapes sell for millions of dollars, and it’s not because the buyers are really into shapes.

It’s actually more of a loophole than a conspiracy. All countries, and most cities have “free port” zones. Free ports are areas, usually near a port where goods can be stored duty free because they are ultimately bound for another country.

HOWEVER, these “free ports” can also be used to store art. Art with incredible value, crated away never to been seen again. These free ports become untaxable, untraceable banks for the ultra wealthy.

This is a real thing.

I wanna be an oligarch, i hate having to play by the rules

8. This insane one about the Titanic

The Titanic/Olympic conspiracy.

It has credibility because there is photographic evidence. It’s really one of the only conspiracy theories I put much belief in.

The sister ships (and their third counterpart, the Britannic) were owned by White Star Line. The Olympic was put into service in June, 1911. She collided with another ship, the HMS Hawke, in September of 1911 and both ships were badly damaged. The accident was a financial disaster for White Star Line, as they were found to be liable for the accident and had to pay for the damages to both ships and legal fees for court cases associated with the accident. Repairs on the Olympic took nearly two months and parts intended for the Titanic, which was still being built during this time, had to be given to the Olympic instead. Only a few weeks after being returned to service, the Olympic suffered another minor incident where one of the propellers broke off and pieces intended for the Titanic were once again cannibalized.

At this point, the Olympic was looking like more and more of a money-drain for the White Star Line, though its achievement in not actually sinking despite a major accident that should have sunk it cemented the Olympic-class liner’s reputation as “unsinkable”, but I’ll get back to that in a moment.

The Titanic was finally finished and ready to leave port on her maiden voyage on April 10, 1912, having been delayed while new parts were made and delivered to replace the ones needed for the Olympic, and from there we all know the story. She went first to France, and then to Ireland, and then began her trek across the Atlantic to New York, during which she struck an iceberg and after nearly two hours, sank, taking 1,500 souls with her to a cold, watery grave that would not be seen again by human eyes for nearly a hundred years.

The Olympic went on to have a 24-year career as a successful ocean liner. She served during World War 1 where she earned the nickname Old Reliable for her impenetrable hull, and then in 1919 she was re-outfitted to be a civilian passenger ship and served as an ocean liner until 1935, when she was retired from the fleet. Her ownership changed hands several times and she was eventually dismantled and sold for scrap metal.

But what if it wasn’t the Titanic that sank? What if it was actually the Olympic? What if it was a ploy to remove a faulty ship that was costing them more money than she was bringing in for White Star Line and cash in on her million-pound insurance policy?

So here is the conspiracy theory. At some point after the Titanic was completed, they switched the identities of the ships. The new “Titanic” was actually the Olympic and the “Olympic” was actually the brand-spanking-new Titanic, fresh from the construction yard with zero problems and zero history. They intended for the “Titanic” to suffer some sort of failure that would result in the destruction of the problem ship so they could collect the insurance money. I doubt they intended to also cause the deaths of 1,500 people; the events that transpired which led to the sinking of the “Titanic” possibly happened purely by chance and the iceberg wasn’t part of their plan (i.e., they didn’t hire the captain to specifically ram the iceberg to sink the ship or anything like that). They probably had another plan involving the repairs that had already been made on the ship when it collided with the HMS Hawke.

In any case, it wasn’t really the Titanic that left port on April 10, 1912 — it was the Olympic.

After the sinking of the “Titanic,” White Star Line received a tidy sum of £1,000,000 in insurance money (or £89,289,575 in today’s money). This, of course, ruined the insurer, Lloyd’s of London. There’s an additional conspiracy theory that American financier and banker J. P. Morgan was in on this whole scheme; his company, J. P. Morgan & Co., financed the International Mercantile Marine Company in the hopes of becoming rich off of sea travel, but this turned out to be a bad investment because of the unpredictable nature of sea travel and travelers themselves. J. P. Morgan or one of his associates may have schemed with White Star Line, who was a subsidiary of this IMMC, in order to bankrupt the IMMC and allow J. P. Morgan & Co. to withdraw from the IMMC without breaking a contract. I cannot provide evidence for this beyond speculation.

However, I can provide evidence that backs up my claim that the two ships were switched and it was the Olympic who sank, not the Titanic.

This is an image of the RMS Olympic in drydock (I am currently unable to locate a picture of the Olympic while under construction with the name clear so you can be sure it definitely is the Olympic — I can only assume such a photo doesn’t exist):

http://www.greatships.net/scans/PC-OL35.jpg

Check out the very top row of portholes in the white railing. Count them. Look closely at the grouping of the last five portholes and how they are clustered with two close together, one set apart, and two more close together.

This is an image of the RMS Titanic being built:

http://cdn.history.com/sites/2/2014/01/titanic-bow-construction.jpg

Look at the top-most portholes in the railing on the Titanic. Count them too. Look at the last five portholes and see that they are evenly spaced apart.

This is a picture of the “Titanic” before leaving on its maiden voyage. Check out the portholes in question:

https://timmyatt.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/titanic-harbour.jpg

Here is the “Olympic” in New York after the sinking of the “Titanic”:

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/18/Olympic_in_New_York_cropped.jpg/1280px-Olympic_in_New_York_cropped.jpg

There is no reason why the ship builders would have changed the portholes on the Titanic when they were nearly done building it. That piece was not one of the pieces cannibalized from the Titanic to repair the Olympic that would have needed to be replaced by a different piece. The only answer is that the ship in the final picture, which is the ship that left port on April 10, 1912, and was met with a terrible fate near Newfoundland, was not the Titanic, but actually the Olympic. You can find pictures from newspapers further supporting this, as they clearly show the name of the ship and the wrong number/orientation of portholes.

I doubt we’ll ever know one way or another, since the wreck at the bottom of the Atlantic is quickly being covered with sediment and will be completely buried and inaccessible soon and pieces of the ship that was retired in 1935 and dismantled in 1937 are both difficult to find and difficult to authenticate, and anybody who might be able to either confirm or deny this theory are all dead.

9. The never-ending war…

That the USA deliberately gets into an armed conflict every decade or so for the purpose of ensuring that at any given time, they always have a critical mass of soldiers with actual combat experience.

They get in a lot of conflicts, and it seems highly probable that the leadership of a country that spends so much on national defense would highly value the institutional knowledge that comes from that kind of continuity of practical experience, even if it comes at a high human cost.

10. The Unabomber was made by the government?!

When Ted Kaczynski (the unabomber) was at Harvard, he participated in a brutal psychological experiment led by professor Henry Murray. The experiment lasted for three years and by many accounts they seemed to have an extreme impact on Kaczynski’s psyche. I think this experiment was part of the CIA’s MKUltra project and destabilized Kaczynski enough to where he eventually went on his reign of terror of sending bombed packages around the country.

During the MKUltra project, the CIA collaborated with university professors on these mind-control experiments but a lot of the documentation was destroyed when people started to look into it.

TL;DR: The unabomber participated in an experiment that was a part of the MKULtra project that eventually led to him becoming a mass-murderer.

11. They’re listening….

All my devices listen in on me.

The other day I was arguing with my Dad about some chicken I thought had gone off (it was frozen for about a month so we weren’t too sure but my Dad was insistent that it was still edible).

Dad decided to ask Google, and low and behold the related searches even from the first letter were: “Is chicken edible after being frozen for a month” and “How long can you freeze chicken before it goes off”.

Also, my Mum and I use this tactic where if we need to ring up a company about something and it puts us in a queue, we swear at it. It then puts you on a priority list and you don’t have to wait as long.

Kinda sketchy on the company’s behalf.

12. The YouTube conspiracy theory crowd is out in full force…

Marilyn Monroe was murdered by the US government.

She frequently attempted suicide and then called someone via her landline next to her bed to come save her. When she died, no traces of it were found within her stomach and her colon had been extremely cleaned.

A theory is that she was murdered via enema poisoning. I haven’t brushed up on it or researched in a long time so I am probably remembering facts incorrectly.

Search it up on YouTube- it’s quite interesting.

13. Disney, what you up to?

Disney made Zootopia partly to replace the Song of the South characters from Splash Mountain.

Splash Mountain is really the only thing that still exists in the public eye from Song of the South (along with the song “Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah”), since Disney wants to pretend that movie doesn’t exist. So they created a movie featuring fox and rabbit characters that could replace Brer Fox and Brer Rabbit, and re-theme the entire ride to be Zootopia themed, while leaving some things (like the name, and the songs featured in the ride) from Song and the South.

There’s also that Disney loves re-theming things to their IP now (getting rid of Maelstrom and bringing in a Frozen themed ride), so it would make sense for them to re-theme a ride to a successful recent movie than keep a ride based off an old, mildly racist movie they’re trying to forget.

14. What goes on up there?

I believe there is a ridiculous amount of pedophilia among the upper echelons of society.

Whether it is uncovered in the Catholic Church, British parliament, Hollywood, Washington DC, Saudi Arabia, the mainstream media doesn’t seem interested in shining a light on the networks and procurers who allow this practice to thrive.

Remember when Sacha Baron Cohen inadvertently uncovered an underage sex service in las vegas? Imagine the demand required for this heinous practice to exist. Offered by the concierge no less.

Who is the mystery party requesting secrecy in Jeff Epstein’s sex trafficking suit?

Why was Johnny Rotten banned from the BBC for attempting to expose Jimmy Savile for sickening crimes against children?

These types of stories are far too common, and they do not receive the attention they deserve.

15. Flight 370

Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 wasn’t an accident.

There were definitely external forces that catalyzed its disappearance.

The flight path was diverted many times and there was a lot of shady stuff about some of the passengers and the pilot of Flight 370.

We may never know unless the plane is found.

If that last one didn’t satisfy your thirst for conspiracy theories, I don’t know what will!

The post 15 People Reveal the Conspiracy Theory They Believe To Be True appeared first on UberFacts.

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15 People Whose Brutal Honesty Lost them a Job Opportunity

We’ve all had to do it… the dreaded job interview.

“Is my resume right?”
“Am I over dressed?”
“What kind of insane questions are they going to ask me?”

We can all get stressed AF worrying about whether or not we’re going to do well, but what if you didn’t care?

The following 15 people share their shockingly honest stories about how they said what was exactly on their mind, which was definitely too much for these companies to handle.

1. “Thank you but you’re nothing special…”

“I’m in tech sales and this happened a few years ago.

In an interview with a VP of Sales, I was asked what to do if the product I was selling only fit half of the buyer’s requirements checklist.

I said I would recommend the prospect evaluate other products to see whether a better fit was available, rather than push them to purchase something they would be dissatisfied with.

They would figure out they had the wrong product sooner or later, and the support and follow-up required to remedy the problem would end up costing the company more.

He replied, ‘Thank you but you’re nothing special,’ and walked out of the room.

I was shocked and sat there for about 10 minutes. No one came back so I ended up walking myself out.”

2. “It didn’t go down well.”

“This one didn’t end up costing me the job offer as such, but it would’ve cost me the job offer from the person who was interviewing me:

Interviewer: ‘Can you tell me about a time when you demonstrated leadership skills?’

Me: ‘Do you really want me to? Because I can do that if you like and give you some story and blah blah blah, but it seems like you’re kinda just asking that because you think that’s what you’re supposed to ask in an interview, rather than because you actually care? So we could talk about more interesting stuff if you’d rather do that.’

This was from one of the many interviews I went through during my internship at Lehman Brothers.

I said it partly because I was absolutely sick to death of answering stupid interview questions from people who didn’t care what my answers were and partly because I genuinely wanted to know what the other person was actually thinking and partly because I wanted to see what happened.

I wasn’t intending it to sound aggressive or non-cooperative, though obviously I was aware that was a risk.

My hope was that we’d actually be able to have a proper constructive conversation as a result. As an interviewer, I’d love to have someone respond that way, though I wouldn’t ask that question because frankly I’d rather smack my head against the desk for 15 minutes than sit through an interviewee giving me canned answers they’d rehearsed over and over again.

It didn’t go down well.

I don’t know for sure what the feedback was from that interviewer, because I had multiple interviews that day, and everyone had to give some feedback. That was then filtered through HR and I was given general feedback and a couple of quotes. However, every other interview that day went well, so I’m pretty confident that the ‘he did not seem well-prepared’ came from that interviewer.

So it goes. I’m glad I gave it a try, and with all the other positive stuff that was going on that summer I could afford to blow it with that one particular trading desk.”

3. “Teach me something in 60 seconds that I don’t already know.”

“I was interviewing for a plant manager’s job, all my experience and skills sets boxes were checked, so to speak.

The interview was going well. The HR manager walks in to the middle of the interview and informs me that she will be joining the discussion to make this a team interview.

She starts asking bizarre questions. Like, ‘Teach me something in 60 seconds that I don’t already know.’ OK, off the beaten path of questions but I teach her how a man can carry his wallet to make it harder to be pick-pocketed.

She’s a woman and she would obviously not know that type of stuff. Her questions are really off. The original interviewer finishes and he asks if I have any questions for them. Of course I do, so I respond yes. He then tells me to be careful as there is only one question that is acceptable. I ask him if he has any concerns about my ability to perform well in the position we are discussing.

He tells me close, I should have asked him what is preventing them from offering me the job right now. I then tell them that I have other questions, they look puzzled but proceed to answer my questions.

I then get to a question about how on their website had talked about their valuing military veterans. I mention the plant manager by name who was quoted on their website.
The HR manager looks at me and explains that they are not sure where I got that information from and that that plant manger was 5 plant managers ago.

In my head, I’m thinking that was only a 2-year-old quote. So I asked why have the previous plant managers failed. She responds because they didn’t listen. I replied back, you have gone through five plant managers in less than three years and you think they are the problem? The recruiter later told me they wanted to hire me up till the end when I questioned their decision making skills.

Glad I changed their mind.”

4. “crawling from 10%, to 20%”

“I was interviewing with Apple for a marketing position.

One of the interviewers was the product manager for the Safari browser.

I pointed out that one reason that I preferred Chrome over Safari was because Safari’s progress bar in the URL box made page loads seem slower than they really were, if you saw the bar crawling from 10%, to 20%, and so on, it had a negative psychological effect because it caused you to think about how much more time it was going to take for the page to load.

I’m not sure if that was the answer that prevented me from advancing, but it sure was a mistake.”

5. “Um, why are you here?”

“I was interviewed for a job with the title ‘communications executive.’ I didn’t get past the first question.

Interviewer: ‘Tell me why you want to work in sales.’

Me: ‘I don’t.’

Interviewer:’Um, why are you here?’

Me: ‘The job title doesn’t mention sales, nor did the ad. Your office wouldn’t give me any further details when I phoned, so it never crossed my mind this was a sales job.’

Interviewer: ‘It is . . . There’s probably not much more to talk about.’

Me: ‘I doubt it.’

Interviewer: ‘Did it take you long to get here?’

Me: ‘About an hour.

I was allowing plenty of time because I didn’t want to be late.’

Interviewer: ‘Um, sorry.’”

6. “They did not seem amused and I was not impressed with their attempts at answers.”

“Several years ago, I had submitted my resume to multiple companies. A couple of major companies had jumped on it and went through their hiring process very efficiently, quickly reaching the point of preparing offers.

Suddenly, a Google recruiter calls me up; it had taken them literally a month or so from submission.

After that initial phone screen, they invited me to an on-site interview. I said, ‘Sure,’ thinking that at least it’d be fun to see what the company looks like from the inside.

The on-site interviews were frankly rather underwhelming considering the scary stories you see all over the web.

In the end, I had opportunity to ask a few questions.

Since I wasn’t all that enthusiastic about Google at this point, I asked something along the lines of, ‘Looking from the outside, your product selection process looks like throwing a bunch of cheese balls into the wall to see what sticks.

Besides the ads, do any of your other products actually make any money?’ They did not seem amused and I was not impressed with their attempts at answers.

A few weeks later, the Google recruiter calls to tell me that they won’t be moving forward.

She seemed genuinely surprised when I did not appear heartbroken; I guess she thought everyone desperately wants to work for Google. I did not really give a hoot anyway since I had already chosen between three other opportunities.”

7. “I think you can sense my level of interest in this position.”

“I saw an opportunity at a small agency which had recently been acquired by a large tech company. My primary goal was to sell them contracted service for specialized training. But the position they were offering intrigued me.

It was a convenient commute, the benefits at this large company were excellent, and the position had just the right amount of balance of what I’d be extremely proficient at, and what I’d be challenged by. But here’s the thing – I’ve been freelance for so long that the thought of a 9–5 (or more) job wasn’t particularly appealing. Being over 50 and freelance means you can and do take a nap whenever you want.

This particular corporate culture required a full-time commitment and it appeared there was little opportunity for flex-time or remote work. In other words, I really didn’t want to work that much. Employers don’t usually pursue candidates with that kind of attitude. Anyway, I made 2 mistakes during the phone interview, I admitted my freelance hourly rate, and admitted my half-hearted interest in the job.

And my tone was nothing but pure, unfiltered honesty. Again, my primary purpose was to sell some contracted training to the particular team with the open position.

I was successful in learning about the team, and identifying the right, qualified decision-maker. I was upfront about my goal, and when the interviewer asked whether my interest was the position or the contracted work, I answered ‘either/or.’ But the interviewer immediately classified me as over-qualified me when she heard my hourly rate.

Interviewer: ‘Oh, this is a production-level job, you wouldn’t be happy with the compensation.’

Me: ‘I don’t want to oversell myself, I think you can understand that as a freelancer I certainly don’t do 40 billable hours a week at that rate. The salary range is fine, and a production-level job is what I’d be highly proficient at, my skills and experience in the system and platform you’re adopting make me a perfect fit at that level.’

Int: ‘And you understand this is a full-time, on-site position?’

Me: ‘I understand, but is there any flexibility in schedule or remote work?’

Int: ‘No. But…’ [she rattles off the okay-sounding holiday and vacation day policies].

[Awkward pause]

Let me interject that pausing during phone negotiations is an effective tactic in sales. Whoever feels uncomfortable enough to speak first is often the one that breaks down and either reveals something or submits to the other one.

Trouble is, this wasn’t just some bored HR person working through a pile of resumes, this was a high level recruiter, with excellent interviewing skills.

I broke first.

Me: ‘I think you can sense my level of interest in this position.’

Int: ‘Yes, and if there’s any opening in the future for a position at your level we’ll let you know.’

Which is code for ‘if this guy ever submits a resume again, just throw it out.’ I got the little 3-day training gig I was after, but I wish I had lied a little, and pretended I had a little more enthusiasm for the position. I could have done a couple of years there and quit after saving a little cash. But then, I probably would have let that slip too.”

8. “…two gigantic updates that stressed good reputations over sleazy tactics.”

“I tanked an interview on purpose. Walked in for a web design/programming gig. Everyone immediately ducked behind their screens when the boss walked out.

One employee gave me a sad look like, ‘Don’t do it.’

The interview started. The two guys in charge were very proud of how they ‘do the Google’ to attract customers.

This means they use varying tactics to show up prominently in Google’s search results pages. It’s typically low quality Search Engine Optimization. If they sold yellow boxes of facial tissues and you wanted to buy a yellow box of facial tissues online, then they would have done a lot to make sure Google points to their site for a ‘yellow facial tissues’ search.

Some of it is good for end users, some of it is bad for the entire Internet.

Anyway, that was their gimmick. They ‘do the Google.’ Another gem was, ‘We’ve read a book and a couple of blogs, and we think we know what we’re doing.’

So, I decided to be completely honest. I told them that end users wanted a site to have a good reputation more than good rankings. I stressed that it’s important to have a presence, message, and outreach that’s attractive to clients.

I said that Google was soon going to follow those end users. They got frustrated, even a little upset, and the interview ended. Then I made the hour-long drive home and felt glad to be out of there.

Within the next year, Google pushed two gigantic updates that stressed good reputations over sleazy tactics.

I have no regrets.”

9. “Of course I’m a Superstar and you’d be an idiot not to hire me.”

“A friend told me about a job where he worked which involved a technical management position building a theme park.

The hiring VP was out of the country, but his assistant decided to fly me to California four days before the interview so the team could meet me and I could better understand the scope of the project.

I dove right in and attended all of the planning meetings and design sessions. In the second meeting I made a suggestion the resulted in savings of over half a million dollars.

Several other similar suggestions over the next few days made me a shoe in for the job so I went to the actual interview with high expectations. Sitting across from the VP, it was pretty clear he was not pleased that I had become so engaged without his knowledge and seemed intent to find some weakness.

After several belligerent questions which clearly pointed to the fact that he wasn’t going to hire me, he finally shouted, ‘You must think you are some kind of Superstar!’

My immediate reply just before he ordered me out of his office was, ‘Of course I’m a Superstar and you’d be an idiot not to hire me.’ As you might imagine I did not get the job.”

10. “…when I replied with my number he literally spewed coffee all over his desk…”

“I had a second interview with a publisher for a senior editor slot at a medium-sized newspaper. I really wanted to stay in the area and was willing to compromise on money so when asked what my salary requirements were, I low-balled with a number that was at the absolute bottom of my scale.

The publisher was taking a drink of coffee at that moment and when I replied with my number he literally spewed coffee all over his desk and snapped, ‘That’s more than I make!’

End of interview.”

11. “Do you have Netflix?”

“I interviewed with Netflix a few years back and they asked me, ‘Do you have Netflix?’

I said ,’Well no, because I don’t want my kids to watch too much TV.’

They still continued the rest of the interview but it was pretty obvious that I didn’t make it.”

12. “But I didn’t want to do the job.”

“The exchange went like this:

Interviewer: ‘You don’t really want this job, do you?’

Me: ‘No.’

I was interviewing for a vacation job stacking shelves in Toys R Us over Christmas.

It was a crappy job with lousy pay. I was a Cambridge university undergraduate with an impressive CV.

I was there because I wanted to try to earn some money and I only had a few weeks away from university to do so.

My options were limited. If they’d hired me, I’d have worked hard and done a good job for them.

But I didn’t want to do the job. It was going to be mind-bogglingly boring and I was going to end up taking home just over £100 a week which wasn’t going to move the needle much.

So when I was asked outright, I felt like the appropriate response was to be honest. I did go on to explain the situation, but the truth was that I did not want the job.

The interviewer was concerned (rightly) that I was massively over-qualified, (rightly) that I would be bored and (wrongly) that I wouldn’t do a good job.

They actually ended up coming back to me a few weeks later after their initial selection hadn’t worked out for some reason, but by that point I had (thank god) found something else to do.”

13. “Your answer is incomplete. The client will not accept that answer.”

“I was interviewing for a consulting firm internship during my first year of business school. They sat me down, handed me a 3-page case description and said I had 3 minutes to read it.

Then the interviewer began asking a series of questions that relied heavily on data presented in the case. I was told that I could not see the case document again and that I had to give a concrete numerical answer to each question, even though his questions were such that any meaningful answer required considerable number-crunching.

The interviewer’s manner was aggressive.

He would cut me off and say things like, ‘Your answer is incomplete. The client will not accept that answer.’ After flailing at this for 10 minutes or so, I asked him to end the interview.

Looking somewhat surprised, he asked why. I said that, regardless of whether this type of interview was to measure my ability to think on my feet or to handle stress, the thing that it told me about them was that their culture was aggressive and discourteous, and that I probably wasn’t a good match for them.

I did not hear from them again.’

14. “to become CEO in a year or so.”

“I’ve had many.

On one occasion, the company head, who was interviewing me, said, ‘Here are the rules – I ask, you answer.’ I said sure, but first I’d like to know why they are hiring when the company looks as if it is about to go bankrupt.

I suppose that was the very question they were avoiding. In the end, they hired a colleague (and then went under in less than 6 months). Later I asked him why he took the job and he said he was leaving his wife and wanted to work in the other city where their head office was (and besides, he negotiated a good severance ahead of time).

Good answer.

For me, I’d often go to interviews because someone asked whom I couldn’t refuse and because I did want a change and so wanted the practice at interviewing, but knew some of these weren’t really good choices.

There are others I lost out on without knowing exactly why until shortly after. Once the recruiter asked about a backrest I used to carry to avoid back problems and I bragged about having a patent on it (I did actually), proud to show my inventiveness and creativity.

That led to a series of questions from him about whether I was fit enough to work, not to cost them on their sick plan, able to fly for business… ‘with my bad back.’ No amount of me telling him I used the backrest to AVOID HAVING a bad back would change his mind and a day or so later I got the rejection call I pretty much expected. In another (all these were for HR VP jobs) they asked, what my long term, ultimate career goal was and I said, ‘To be the biggest and best HR VP on earth.’

I learned later from seeing who they chose that the answer they wanted was, ‘to become CEO in a year or so.’ (That was the answer he’d given me when I asked him that for an organization I was on the board of, so I could guess that would have been ‘the right answer’ – and often you can’t guess at the time). Why they wanted an HR expert who just saw the job as a one-year stepping stone I can only guess at, but you never know with some companies.

In all these, I wasn’t too worried about being brutally honest, since I had a pretty good job and was only interested if the one on offer actually looked better. By the time you get to the interview, your research should have answered that and your goal is to meet your potential new direct boss and see if he or she is any good.

The boss is the most important feature of any job! If it turns out something is wrong there are a hundred ways to get yourself rejected without burning bridges, just by being honest – and, honestly, you only want to work for a company that accepts honesty.”

15. “I told them this was impossible and asked if they wanted an honest employee…”

“I interviewed for a position which required 10 years of Adobe InDesign experience, at the time InDesign had been on the market for less than 7 years.

I told the interviewer I had experience with Quark and Pagemaker for over 10 years, but since InDesign was only 7 years old, I only had 7 years experience with that particular program.

The interviewer informed me they had many other applicants who had over ten years experience with InDesign. I told them this was impossible and asked if they wanted an honest employee or one who only told them what they wanted to hear?

I did not hear back so I guess I got my answer.”

True story, I once threw a job interview because the guy who would have managed me came off as a total mess. So I set expectations way too high when asked, “Where do you see yourself within the company in 6 months?

I told them that I expected to get a promotion in about 6 month’s time. The tone in the room changed immediately. Needless to say, they were not pleased. And I didn’t get the job.

Still, it was one of the most instructive experiences of my professional life because what it taught me is I do have control in those interviews. Basically, always (ALWAYS!) be willing to walk away from an interview if you don’t like what they’re saying or what their offer is. And never settle for less than what you think you’re worth. Because how you value yourself is the most important thing you can do in your career.

I guaranteed you that’s some advice you’ll use again and again. So remember it. ?

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20+ Security Guards Reveal the Weirdest Things They’ve Caught on Camera

Being a security guard can be kind of a dull job (depending on where you’re working, I suppose). The one thing that livens up the day is seeing all the weird things people do when they aren’t thinking about the fact that they’re in range of a CCTV camera.

Oh yeah, they’ve seen some shit.

“Watched a woman jump off a nearby highway…”

Good God, where do I even start? Been a surveillance operator for 5 years at a casino. Let’s just make a list:

Guy whipping his thing out while going up escalators, leaving a trail off urine. He was sober.

Man, super toasted, thought he saw his ex-wife’s car. Proceeded to stand on and stomp in the hood, then pass out on the windshield.

Saw one cop miss with a taser and tase another officer.

Watched a woman attempt to walk up a down escalator for eight minutes straight without moving. She eventually passed out.

Watched a woman jump off a nearby highway, land, and walk off like nothing happened.

Caught a guy (more than once) using his mobile phone camera to not-so-discreetly take upskirt shots of women standing next to him.

Caught a cashier stealing money. By pretending to sneeze, use the bill as a tissue, then shove the bill down his shirt.

Barfight. Two groups going at it. Random girl not part of the brawl grabs a bottle off the bar and tomahawk chucks it at the melee. Thankfully she somehow missed everyone.

Watched a man jump off the roof. Hit the ground and bounced about three feet. Only suicide I’ve ever seen.

There’s probably a lot more I could come up with. After you’ve seen hundreds of attempted cheats, a few people fall over dead, and a guy bounce after falling 12 stories, everything just becomes kind of mundane.

“…She gets EJECTED out of her seat.”

Worked IT for a company. One day, a lot of the head managers of this certain department come barging into my office demanding I pull some footage, serious.

I think somebody is about to get fired so I start scrubbing through footage. Finally, I get to what they want me to see. One of their team leads is rocketing through the office on an office chair when it gets stuck on something in the carpet and she gets EJECTED out of her seat.

She must have landed like 10 feet from her chair. As soon as the scene happens, the group of managers busts out laughing their butts off. I nearly peed my pants laughing, I had never been asked to pull camera footage of something so funny.

The best part is the girl just laid on the carpet while everybody around her in the room collapsed with laughter.

“Immediately my soul crushes…”

One time at work I went to the Starbucks down the street and got a delicious panini. I was so excited for this panini. Double smoked bacon and chicken.

Delish. I was working the closing shift so I was tired and just wanted to eat my panini. I pulled the little paper bag out and what I assume was the heat from the food had melted the adhesive holding the bag together and my delicious panini is now all over the break room floor.

Immediately my soul crushes, then right afterward, I’m like ‘forget this!’ and picked it right back up and ate it. It was delicious.

A few weeks later my coworkers are chatting away and whatever, one of them offhandedly mentions that our GM watches all the security cam footage on the days she isn’t at work.

She wasn’t at work that day my panini exploded everywhere.

She probably saw me eating that sandwich off the ground like a savage, so to answer the question at hand, that.

“He wasn’t there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having relations…”

I’m the security supervisor overnight at a food dye processing plant. I sit in a guard shack and watch upwards of 20 camera feeds at a time. One night, one of my officers, who is posted up at the other side of the facility, walks away from his shack and goes to an area behind one of the buildings, out of the way.

He apparently thought there weren’t any cameras watching that particular area because he wasn’t there for a minute before some lady arrived and they started having relations, right there.

When they were done, she left and he went right back to his post. He had no idea I saw the whole thing. I didn’t talk to him about it, but I called my operations manager over in the office the next morning and told him about it.

The officer wasn’t fired. He was transferred, however. Bull, in my opinion. When an officer can be fired for being late, they should be fired for abandoning their post to meet with a lady of the night.

“The guy just took his hand out of his pocket, grabbed the goose by the neck, snapped it…”

Used to work security for a mall back in Kansas City, that city was chalk full of geese when it wasn’t winter. One day one of the store clerks called me up and told me to get animal control to dispose of a dead goose in our parking lot.

I went to the front to check it out and sure enough, there was a dead goose lying in the middle of the parking lot. Called animal control and they had it removed from the premises. Out of curiosity, I went into the back and started viewing the cameras for the parking lot thinking the goose may have just died of sickness or somebody accidentally ran him over with their car.

Nope.

Apparently, this particular goose wandered onto the parking lot and started terrorizing anyone that got near him. If you’ve encountered a goose before, you would know how much a mean bird those things are.

Everybody that came out of the store basically had to walk around the goose to get to their car, except for one guy. This dude, wearing a striped sweater and khakis, holding a bag in one hand and his other hand in his pocket started walking straight to his car.

He literally didn’t care at all that the goose was flapping his wings and honking at him, telling him to run off. The guy was about 4 feet from the goose when the goose started charging him trying to mess him up.

The guy just took his hand out of his pocket, grabbed the goose by the neck, snapped it, dropped the body in the middle of the parking lot and proceeded to get into his car and drive off.

I don’t know why, but the way he just nonchalantly snapped a goose’s neck with his bare hand and left its body for dead sent a chill down my spine.

“5 min later she would come out adjusting her skirt…”

I worked I.T. at a company that had cameras on the shop floor. The boss called me in to watch a video and get my opinion on what I thought was going on.

So the night shift had one lady working and 6 guys. When things slowed down in the middle of the night she would walk over to one of the guys, whisper in his ear, and they would both go into the girl’s bathroom together.

5 min later she would come out adjusting her skirt and the guy would follow with a huge smile on his face. Over several hours she did this with each of the 6 guys and it appeared it was a regular thing.

I said it looked like she was sleeping with everyone in the place. Well, the boss fired her for the possibility that it would lead to a harassment lawsuit.

Later I found out what was really going on. Seems she was the local weed dealer and hid her stash in her panties.

“I ask the store manager why he didn’t fire him…”

I used to work in loss prevention at a very large retail store. I had been finding wrappers and discarded packages in a place called the fixture room.

This is where they keep all the peg hooks, shelves, and racks to display products. Not many people go in there so I put up a hidden camera thinking I would catch someone stealing stuff.

Around 1:00 am a guy walks in, pulls his pants down and rubs one out all over a shelf leaning against the wall.

I show the video to the store manager and he said that the guy was his 3rd shift supervisor.

As he watches the video he starts getting mad… at me for showing it to him! I take it to my boss and he tells the store manager to fire the guy. Two weeks later I come in early one morning to see the guy clocking out.

I ask the store manager why he didn’t fire him and he said, ‘I talked to him about it and he explained what happened.’ I said, ‘Ok I gotta hear this one!’

The manager explained, ‘He had been drinking and smoking weed before he came to work and was just out of his mind. So he’s not a pervert or anything.’

The manager then told me that as punishment the guy had to clean everything in the fixture room, on his own time (unpaid) and had to submit to 4 random screenings the next year (which never happened because the manager is a cheapo).

The guy got promoted to assistant manager a year later!

“He even had a sheath on his belt and everything.”

I was staying overnight at my hotel security job in downtown San Diego one night and noticed that a homeless man had something shiny in his hands but I couldn’t determine what exactly it was just by looking at the cameras.

So I dispatched a security guard to investigate and it turns out that this guy was carrying a machete. Not a large knife. An actual life-size machete.

He even had a sheath on his belt and everything. I told my guy to keep his distance and I called the local police.

Minutes later the police show up and I got to see them in action.

They kept yelling at him to drop his machete but he was on a different planet and wasn’t hearing a word they were trying to say to him. When they finally had enough, the cop with the launcher shot him with a beanbag round and leveled him to the ground.

He dropped his machete and another cop came in and punted it away from his reach. They pinned him down and arrested him. It was awesome to watch.

“He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box…”

I didn’t catch him in the act, but I watched a guy steal my pizza.

I was working the night shift on a Friday night and ordered pizza for my lunch. I had leftovers which I put in the staff-room fridge so I could have it for lunch the next day.

Saturday evening I come into work, I work until lunchtime, then go to grab my pizza only to discover that it is gone.

Like what!? So I check the camera feed. During the day some random guy came into our office, went to the staff-room, and stole my pizza. He just walked out of the building carrying the pizza box and the day shift guy didn’t even notice. No questions just walked in and never heard from again.

I am not sure how someone could have that level of confidence.

“This didn’t stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day…”

I work in IT, had to splice a video from our CCTV into our CEO’s end of year presentation.

The company had refurbished the car park, which used to have an all-access footpath running through it.

There was no legal right of way there, so they got rid of the footpath and put up signs saying it was private property.

This didn’t stop a middle-aged lady who cycled through every day, and regularly damaged parked cars with her bike when she squeezed through narrow gaps.

The alternative route was literally 50 yards out of her way to go around the car park rather than through it.

So, bigger signs go up. This is PRIVATE LAND, NO ACCESS etc.

As part of that, they install an automatic barrier. To get into or out of the car park, you have to keep your company ID badge on a sensor, the barrier raises, and you can drive through.

Cyclist lady just ignores everything.

Cycles up to the new barrier, and WHAM, her bike goes under it, and she doesn’t. She gets up, walks up to her bike and cycles off again, up the road.

The next day, they’re investigating damage to the barrier, and have a look at the CCTV.

They can’t believe she hasn’t seen the bright red and white barrier. While they’re reviewing the CCTV, she comes in again from the other direction, and WHAM.

Exactly the same thing happens again.

They run out to check if she’s OK. She refuses all help and runs away with her bike. She knows she’s not supposed to be going through here and has now made the same mistake twice.

She now goes around the car park instead of through it.

“I saw two suicide attempts, one successful.”

Worked casino surveillance for several years – so I have a lot of stories. Saw a guy receive a BJ at a roulette table, saw a couple get it on in a crowded bar.

I saw a guy get stabbed, and saw two people get hit by speeding cars. I saw a lot of people vomit, saw a lot of people pee – especially in the elevators.

Saw a guy who was drinking trip on an escalator, catching himself on the side, then slide down a 50-foot moving rail, spinning the whole time, then land on his feet without spilling his drink.

I watched people cheat at blackjack and various carnival games. I saw two suicide attempts, one successful. I saw a casino cashier stuff two hundred dollar bills in his sock.

He was arrested. I saw a waitress twerking upside down in the well, she slipped and landed face first on the tile and was unconscious for about 20 seconds.

I saw a kitchen worker slice her hand while cutting lemons – blood everywhere. She wrapped it in a towel and continued cutting the lemons with the same knife.

She put the finished lemons in the fridge then went for medical attention. I saw a brawl in the craps pit that ended with a mostly naked woman riding piggy-back on the cop that tried to break up the fight.

She was arrested and the rest of the brawlers escaped to the parking garage where the fight continued. Last I saw, another semi-naked woman was hanging on to the hood of a car as it drove away, slamming her shoe on the windshield.

That was a fun job.

“Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool.”

Saw a guy once get out of our pool, he dries off and is carrying his pool noodle. He does the look around, sees he’s alone, then starts smacking it against the floor.

He folded it in half and then starts punching it. He then twists it and tries to punt it. It untwists and flops to the ground so he missed. He goes to pick it up, doesn’t get a good grip, stands up and it’s not in his hand.

Picks it up, tries to punt it again, flops to the floor as he missed again. Then he picks it up and just hurls it into the pool.

He stands there for a second, has a look of defeat, goes back into the pool, fishes it out, dries off and proceeds towards the locker room.

“…Then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants…”

I worked in a supermarket, not as security, but one day stocking shelves my manager and I noticed a strange smell, we couldn’t find the source so we kept working.

A couple of hours later and it was still hanging around, eventually we emptied the last trolley of stock which had been sitting in an aisle for a while (small supermarket) and we found a blob of human poop on a box of cat food, and then two or three more on the shelves next to the trolley.

We checked the cameras and there was this seemingly normal 50 something year old lady, walked in, put a few things in her basket, then started walking / waddling oddly down the pet food aisle and then all of a sudden just casually reached into the back of her pants, pulled some poop out, chucked it on the stock trolley, walked another few paces and did the same then from memory she even proceeded through the checkout and out of the store.

The manager asked me to clean it up to which I offered my immediate resignation (as a joke, he was my mate but there was no way I was dealing with that) so he had to clean it up and we ended up throwing out a lot of stock and most of the fruit and veg stock.

I’ve told so many people this story, I still find it so bizarre to this day.

“Bathing in the sink.”

I worked as an assistant manager at a grocery retailer. The store was closing and there were a few employees left. I’m finishing paperwork and happen to look up at the monitor displaying 16 different cameras.

The one in the deli caught my eye because I happened to notice the deli employee filling a sink.

Didn’t think anything of it and kept on going with my work. Looked at the time and was thinking, okay everyone should be out. Look through the cameras and see the girl in the deli…

Bathing in the sink.

The dread comes over me. What… What do I do…

I wait until she’s done, burn the video, sterilize the sink, bleach the sink, pour boiling water over the sink, and scrub it until my hands hurt, then leave the store in night crews hands.

Next morning, speak with the store manager and show him the video.

Pull the girl upstairs and let her go for violating all sorts of health and safety violations.

Turns out, her water was turned off and she needed to bathe for her date…

With her parole officer the next morning.

Things people do when they think others aren’t watching.

“When I came around the corner, there was a girl completely naked…”

I was working the desk at a gym in a large sports facility that was connected to a high school. There is one section that shows a hallway known as ‘Trojan alley’ because of all the high school kids who went around a corner and had relations.

One day I see a foot kinda sticking out from around the corner kind of twitching. I thought a member of the facility had fallen or had a seizure or something.

So I grabbed a first aid kit and ran over. When I came around the corner, there was a girl completely naked with her laptop open and filming herself messing around alone.

She slammed the laptop shut, grabbed her clothes and stood up very embarrassed. I was equally embarrassed. Neither of us said anything. I just turned around and went back to my desk and I’m assuming she left.

I feel bad because that must have been so scarring yet I legitimately thought there was a medical emergency so I was very thrown off as well.

“… In the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go.”

I worked in IT for a resort that had an ice rink. Two guests decided to bone in the middle of said rink at like 1 in the morning. Thing is, those cameras are motion detecting because it’s dangerous.

Security office immediately gets an alarm if they detect anything. So Security had to go up there while they were mid-act and ask them to not… Unfortunately, their situation had placed them in the center of an ice rink, naked, with nowhere to go.

Security had to watch as they carefully and awkwardly put their clothes back on and removed themselves from the rink.

“… He leaned the cane against the rail and started to practice…”

A middle-aged man who always walked with a cane got into an elevator at the end of the day. Fairly big elevators. The guy was always nice but pretty unseemly.

After he got in the elevator, however, he leaned the cane against the rail and started to practice what looked like (and I later checked with a friend) a taekwondo form.

When he heard the elevator ding at a floor to stop, he grabbed the cane, went back to his demeanor and walked out.

I found out later that the guy worked in a dangerous profession and makes himself seem weak.

I’d be terrified to mess with that guy.

“… What took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8 AM…”

My old job was on a busy boulevard with an alley in the back. We had an open garage with access to said alley.

We used to often catch people doing weird acts, doing/selling stimulants, guys urinating, even saw one couple take turns relieving themselves beside our AC unit…

But what took the cake is one morning around maybe 7-8 AM a man was walking by through the alley, stops suddenly, goes into our garage, lights a candle, and sets it there by the wall and walks away.

It was so odd getting there and seeing a randomly lit candle. Checking the footage only left us with more questions.

“In this video, a guy takes his streetwalker…”

I hang out with our security guard a lot and spend time in their office at our hotel messing with them. There’s footage saved that they show to our new hire guards to see if they can handle things professionally.

In this video, a guy takes his streetwalker (a $100 an hour one, super dirty and cheap) and takes her into an alley by a function room where we had a camera.

They get to it, and he straight away pulls down her pants and starts to eat her butt. This goes on for five minutes or so until you see the door open behind them, and our HUGE Polynesian guard standing behind the guy.

The lady runs off laughing instantly, leaving her poor client to put on his pants and clean up by himself

“Sure enough around 3:30 am I noticed some movement by one of the fences.”

I worked at a car dismantler and people would break in and steal catalytic converters, radiators, and other valuables.

I noticed a pattern of break-ins on Wednesday mornings around 4 am.

So, one day I decided to catch the perp. I locked myself into the office around midnight, called up the local PD and explained to them what I was doing.

Sure enough around 3:30 am I noticed some movement by one of the fences.

I watched him cut a hole in the fence and start to wander around. He started to stash things by the hole. I called the cops and told them what was going on, but asked them to hold off on arresting him until he was outside the fence.

I watched as five cars pulled up in the parking lot next door. The perp pushed the stuff through the fence and I told the dispatcher OK, now get him!

They caught him and arrested him.

The reason I wanted to wait till he was outside is that it was then burglary and trespassing. If they had arrested him inside it would only be trespassing because he hadn’t left the premises with the parts.

I later got a letter of commendation from the chief of police.

“The owner just screams NOT THOSE TWO AGAIN!”

Not me, but a story from somebody who helped set up remote logins for a security company.

He was on a remote session with this one local bar. Typically normal but he wanted this whole suite of cameras, a lot more than what he thought was normal.

Going through the entire process of setting up the equipment, testing the DVR and having the owner walk through every cam. Now on the phone going over some information and the final checks my friend notices some people slip in through the back.

Since it is the middle of the day just as the bar is about to open he assumes they are employees. Then these two guys just start going at it. Shell-shocked at the brazenness of it he just kinda stares for about 30 seconds.

Now the owner notices my friend isn’t responding and asks what is wrong. He finally tells him ‘uhh there are two guys in the first floor back hallway…ugh just having relations.’

The owner just screams ‘NOT THOSE TWO AGAIN’ and bolted from his office. My friend watches the owner run full sprint from his office through the bar towards the back hallway.

They must have heard him as they start pulling up their pants. Just as he arrives they bolt out the door and he chucks his phone at them full force.

Of course, now the owner has just destroyed his phone and cut the call.

“We put grease there.”

I worked at a thrift store. We had a furniture storage semi-trailer out back where people would also drop off donations during the day. It was so common for people to break into the trailer we just stopped locking it.

It’s a thrift store and we never prosecuted because frankly it just wasn’t worth it. One day me and a couple of guys decided if they want to violate our property we’ll make it a bit more enjoyable for them.

We rigged up a bucket of water on top of the semi-door and tied it so it would fall when the door was opened. Then we also had a big dumpster there that was regularly looked through so we put a couch up against the dumpster positioned in a way that there was only one obvious place to put your hands when you climbed up the dumpster.

We put grease there.

For us working at the thrift store and never getting revenge on the countless thieves it was an enjoyable experience to watch their plans fall apart for at least one night.

“I caught the door slowly opening by itself!”

I worked security at a large hotel chain. Part of my job was to keep track of storage room visits, by kitchen staff and other employees. There was a camera watching the big metal door of the storage room.

One day as I returned to my office I noticed the storage room door was open, which was odd because only I had keys for it and I hadn’t opened it that day.

I checked the camera and on film I caught the door slowly opening by itself! No one was there and no way the wind could unlock a heavy metal door. Showed my boss and he told me not to mention it.

Although word got out and some of the more superstitious employees avoided the storage room. There had been 2 suicides that previous year, some said it was related to them.

Whoa. Just whoa.

I never want to be a security guard ever.

Never ever.

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13 People Who Definitely Have Worse Neighbors Than You

Have you ever had a neighbor who was a complete prick? These 13 people have and their stories will make your hair curl.

Get ready to meet some of the worst people to live by… ever!

1. “I woke up to find my car missing.”

“We had horrible neighbors at our previous residence. As first-time homeowners, my wife and I wanted to make a good impression on the neighborhood and decided after we had settled in that we would introduce ourselves to a few of the people in our new neighborhood.

Most were nice and struck up conversations, but the neighbors next door to us were god awful. When we knock at their door, a lady opened it and immediately told us that she was not interested in what we were selling and slammed the door on us.

We knocked again and let her know we were just introducing ourselves, and she yelled, ‘What’s so special about you?’ So we left.

Where we lived, everyone had a driveway that could fit one car and then public on-street parking was used for additional cars.

The unwritten rule of the neighborhood was not to park in front of some else’s house unless you had permission. Most of my neighbors would ask if they could park additional cars in front of our house for parties and things like that.

It was never an issue. Except for my next door neighbor. At the time, I worked the night shift, so when I got home, I wanted the parking space in front of my house (my wife used the driveway) so that I could get in quick and get to bed.

However, she would have her many ‘lovers’ park in my space, so I would have to park, sometimes, up to 3 blocks away. I confronted her one day about the unwritten rule, and she told me to ‘get bent’ and that ‘I don’t own the street.’

I figured I would use her logic against her one day, and I parked my car in front of her house. I woke up to find my car missing. After contacting the police, I found she had it towed because she stated she was getting her sidewalk repaired and it was in the way of the workers (she never actually was getting her sidewalk repaired).

I ended up just using my wife’s car most nights afterward so I didn’t lose my spot.

My neighbor combated this by parking in my backyard. When I called the cops on her to have her vehicles towed, she stated that my backyard was her property and that I had no right to move her vehicles.

Because I didn’t have any proof of the property line, the cop stated it was pretty much my word against hers and there was really nothing that he could do until we had property line proof.

Next day, I went to the town’s municipal building to get proof of the property line. It was out of date, so I could not use it, and I couldn’t afford the $3,000 fee that the surveyors wanted.

So she won that one too.

Among other things, she attempted to sue us because she warped her siding while grilling too close to her house. She tried to blame it on our windows reflecting sunlight and heat onto her siding.

She lost that one. She tried to sue us for a tree on her property that fell down during a storm and crushed a small storage shed she had. She lost. She blamed us for going through her mail.

Never happened.

Finally, we moved and had our house on the market. One day, I get a call from the police. The house was broken into. We lived 3 hours away, and not all of our stuff was moved out.

Police stated that another neighbor took pictures of the burglars and that they knew who it was and asked for me to come to the station to identify my property.

I took a day off and traveled back to the house to assess the damage and claim my belongings. The deadbolt on the door looked like someone tried to hammer it off and the window that they used to get in was shattered.

I went to the station and got my property. When the officer showed me the pictures of the robbers, it was my terrible neighbor’s son and his 4 friends.

All they stole was an Xbox 360, 10 games, and a bunch of my wife’s costume jewelry. I was so happy to put him and his friends away. Funny enough, my neighbor pleaded with me not to press charges, and she promised to pay for everything.

When I told her to ‘get bent,’ it was one of the best feelings I have ever had.”

2. “He retrieved my dog’s body…”

“When I was 10, my neighbor—an 80-something-year-old man—shot and killed one of my dogs.

When I went looking for my dog, I asked my neighbor if he had seen him.

He told me that he shot a dog like that this morning.

Frozen, I asked where he was so I could bury him. The old man told me that his body was in the dumpster and that he would shoot me too if I didn’t get off his land.

I ran through the woods back to my house, screaming out loud in anger and punching trees until my knuckles were torn and bloody.

When I got home, I called the police and the K9 unit came out to my neighbor’s house.

He retrieved my dog’s body, and I buried him.

The worst part was that my dog was very sweet. My neighbor had tied him up and broken all of his legs, then shot him point blank in the chest.

I have never felt more rage in my life. My mom took the man to court, and he was charged with animal cruelty. The judge asked how much money I thought the dog was worth.

I was dumbfounded and croaked out that I didn’t want money—I wanted my dog.

The neighbor was fined $500, and I made him pay it to the local humane society.

The man had the ten commandments posted all around his house, so the next night, I took a red sharpie and circled ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill’ on all of his signs.

My dog’s name was Hershey, he was a mutt that was born in my bedroom — he was only 2 years old and such a good boy.

3. “They literally go out in the dead of night, like ninjas…”

“I moved onto a dirt road with several houses on it. My friend has lived down the road his whole life. The people next to my house only come up for the summer and are never there in the winter.

When summer comes, however, there are multiple potholes on the road. Curious, I asked my friend. He said the neighbors come up in the summer and dig the holes themselves in order to ‘slow down’ traffic.

They literally go out in the dead of night, like ninjas, and use shovels to dig a few good holes. There’s never any holes elsewhere except right in front of their house, which also happens to be right in front of my house.

And it’s a terrible, awful road in its own right already.

The thing is their driveway is all rocks. So I just took their rocks and used them to fill in the holes when they were away.

Though I volunteered over the winter to foster rescue dogs. Guess who’s lawn was used as the potty?

That’s a good boy! laughs maniacally.”

4. “Completely baseless and out of the blue.”

“Lived next door to ‘Bob’ for 10 years with no issues. He’s a retired prison guard, cop, military, about 70 or so. I was 25. We share views on many of life’s situations; political, legal, etc.

We always got along swimmingly.

We share tools, chat now and then, but we’re not really ‘buds.’ He spends 6.8 days a week at his girlfriend’s house, so we never really see each other more than 2 hours a year seems like.

At the 10 year mark, a policeman walks into my backyard where I’m raking leaves. He’s there about the complaint from Bob. Huh?

We go to speak with Bob, and when I ask him what’s going on, he interrupts, yelling about my kids on his lawn, me riding motorcycles on his lawn, and more.

He’s livid, spit flying, and he looks like he’ll have a stroke. I just looked at the cop and shrugged. We’ve all heard or read stories of neighbor spats escalating into retribution or violence, but all of his accusations are false.

Completely baseless and out of the blue.

Cop says he has to give me a criminal trespass warning, so if I ever step foot on his property again, I can be arrested.

I told him that’s like telling me I can’t sleep with his sister anymore. Never happened, never will. I spoke with him privately, and the best we can come up with is some mental illness, or he’s off his medication.

It really was the strangest thing.

What annoyed me the most was two days later, as I’m driving away, he’s on his lawnmower, and waves and smiles at me like nothing ever happened.

We’ve never determined if that was genuinely because he’s crazy, or if he was taunting me.

That was nearly 15 years ago, and I have never spoken to him since.

I keep my family away, and we leave if we ever see him. Oh, and he’s moved back home this year from his girlfriend’s place, so he’s baaack!”

5. “…him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom.”

“I grew up in a rural area on a fairly big property. It had been a large farm that got parceled out as the owner aged. So there were 4 3/4 acre lots and my parent’s 10 acres behind them. The house was relatively far away from our neighbors.

One neighbor was an absolute piece of crap. When I was 8, I remember seeing the cop lights at his door.

Found out when I was a little older that he had tried to murder his father over his oxy prescription (father owned the house, 30-year-old kid lived there rent free). He did a few years in jail, then moved back in with his father who he had tried to kill. He grew pot on our land, then threatened to kill my mother when my father and I tore it down (but didn’t call the cops).

Frequently threatened to assault/kill my mother. I can remember multiple times when I was younger, him banging on our door and screaming threats at my mom. Other times I can remember thinking about the weapon in my father’s office, in case our neighbor actually got inside the house. This occurred 8-10 times a year from ages 8-14.

He has calmed down a little after a second arrest and some anger management classes.

Nowadays, he just has massive bonfires with tons of loud music and leaves empties on our property, which is still an inconsiderate move, but better than physical intimidation and death threats.”

6. “…we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!”

“We had a party for all the neighbors when we moved in. I like to barbecue, and my wife is vegetarian, so we have two separate barbecues. We invited everyone on the street.

One neighbor declines ‘because we’re vegetarian.’

‘Not to worry,’ I said. ‘So’s my wife. We have two barbecues going, one for meat and one for veggies.’

I could see them searching for another reason. They look at the invite.

‘Oh, the 6th? We’re out of town then. Sorry.’

That’s cool. They don’t want to come for whatever reason. They’re not just going to say that.

We’re British, after all.

The day of the party comes. Our garden is quite big, so everyone can fit in happily. We’ve got the barbecues going on the opposite side of the garden to the aforementioned neighbors’ house. It’s only about 4 hours into the party at around 5 pm that we notice the upstairs windows in their house are open.

‘Weird, I thought they were out of town?’

As I’m looking at the windows with some of the other neighbors, we see the wife with a camera, taking photos of us!

We go round and ring the bell to explain this is the party they were invited to, and they’re still welcome to join.

No answer. Curtains twitching upstairs. So we go back to the party and just ignore them.

Later into the evening, the parents and kids have gone home, just a mix of older and younger neighbours left, and I’m now making mixed drinks at the outside bar (honestly, this house was amazing. I have no idea how it was in our budget, but anyway…) and then the police walk in through the (open) back gate.

‘Someone’ has lodged a complaint. It’s only about 9 pm (noise complaints in the UK are typically not followed up until it goes past 11 pm) but apparently not only are we having the biggest party known to man, but we’re ‘setting things on fire’ and ‘forcing adult beverages onto children.’

Of course, the Police can see we’re having a fairly civilized adult get-together, and congratulate us on moving to the area, and for getting to know our neighbours in such a friendly way.

Monday, we’re off to unpack. Knock on the door. The Police now have photographs of the alleged ‘forcing adult beverages onto children’ and ‘setting fire to things.’

It’s one of the neighborhood kids bringing two brews from the fridge to me and his dad at the barbecue. They’re not even open.

The ‘setting fire to things?’ Yeah. Using a blowtorch to light my barbecue. Apparently, that’s endangering their property, which is a good 100 yards away from the contained fire within my oil drum barbecue.

The police can see this is a non-issue. They just need me to make a statement explaining. So I do.

For the whole two years that we lived there, they avoided us. So weird, so unnecessary.”

7. “…I sat with her for the next couple of hours expecting a visit from the police…”

“My sister was only 20 when she got this flat, and some old guy (in his 50s) across the way would shout things like ‘Suck my balls’ or ‘I’d do you, come here’ to her whenever she left her flat and he was outside.

My sister had called the police and landlord and told them about his harassment, and basically, they said it was his word against hers and since nothing had happened, they couldn’t really do anything.

The landlord even said he had lived there for years and never had complaints about him before.

My sister got scared to leave her place and often asked friends to walk her home from work, but of course, the tricky little prick would never say anything when someone else was there.

My mother had visited her one day and had shouted at him to leave her alone, but he had given her a puzzled look and just shook his head as if he didn’t know what was going on.

So I’m visiting her one day, and she’s putting out the bins when he comes out and starts shouting; he’s standing on his doorstep grabbing his balls through his pants saying, ‘Come here I have a present for you, little girl.’

He obviously didn’t see me arrive with her or thought I’d gone, I’m unsure.

Well, I’m standing in her hallway just out of sight when I hear this, so I bolt out the door, and before you know it, I’ve got the old pervert by the short and curlies.

I put one hand on his throat and pin him against the doorframe squeezing his neck hard—and take into account, this guy is some 5-foot, Danny Devito looking guy if Devito had been on crack and lost 100 pounds, and I’m 6’2″ and 19 stone.

The red mist descends and I’m really resisting the urge to knock him out, so I lean over and whisper in his ear:

‘Next time I hear you shout at my sister, I’m going to kick this door down and give you a beating you won’t forget, understand?’

He nods, and I literally throw him back into his flat and just leave him there crumpled in the doorway.

My sister looks at me shocked, and I sat with her for the next couple of hours expecting a visit from the police, but they never arrived.

After that my sister said she rarely even saw him again, and when she did, he would scurry into his flat. She only stayed there another 12 months before moving on to another place nearer home, but I always remember that rat and for years expected to see his name in our local press for some reason, but never did.”

8. “He drank a bottle of Chianti in about 30 minutes…”

“Ah, Jerry.

When I moved in, he seemed eccentric, but harmless. Apparently, my landlord had a conversation with him and told him to leave me alone. This upset Jerry greatly.

He cornered me one day while I was unlocking my door and asked me to come to sit with him in his apartment. I don’t think the place had ever been cleaned and he had hoarder mentalities.

He drank a bottle of Chianti in about 30 minutes, commenting on all the sad things in his life. Luckily, he passed out so I could leave.

A couple weeks later, he got into a 3 a.m. fight with his boyfriend, which resulted in his boyfriend trying to get into my apartment for safety and eventually breaking into an empty unit down the hall.

Cops were called and Jerry was taken to jail.

About a week after that, same boyfriend was over and a fight ensued. This time it ended in very loud make-up bang sesh.

Jerry would flush things you’re not supposed to flush down the toilet and would back up sewage into mine and my neighbor’s bathtubs and bathroom sinks.

Eventually, he clogged his toilet so badly that he just ripped it from the wall and left it there.

The cops came twice to my door to ask if I had seen Jerry lately and asked to search my apartment to make sure I wasn’t hiding him.

One day, while I was getting ready for work, he came into my apartment with another guy and tried to measure my walls for the ‘renovation’ he was going to do to combine his and my apartments into one unit.

But, don’t worry, I could just live with him when it was all finished.

Eventually, Jerry got evicted, but would still convince people to let him into the building.

For months his mugshot was posted on all entrances saying to not let him in.”

9. “Either my neighbor was high…”

“I just moved into my new apartment in Chicago and was woken up at 3 am to some loud knocking on my door. Given that it’s Chicago, I thought the worst and assumed someone with a loaded weapon was on the other side of that door.

A moment passes and I sit silently in my bed running through self-defense scenarios in my head. I then hear a woman yell something through my door that had me on tilt…

This lady says, ‘This is your neighbor, I was just wondering if you’d like to buy some girl scout cookies.’ Naturally, I ignored her offer and proceeded to go back to sleep angry and confused.

Either my neighbor was high or trying to rob me.”

10. “I really, really like this song.”

“My neighbor (above me) was trying to force me to move out, so she put her speakers on her floor pointing straight down and blared them at full volume.

The instant it started, I leapt up in outrage at her audacity, but after a few seconds, I realized… I really, really like this song. So I give it one song, and as it’s winding down, I prepare my outrage once again, only to be surprised when the next song is also a perennial favorite.

I didn’t even bother getting upset before realizing that I liked the third song, too. She stopped at midnight when she was legally required to. Apparently, she realized she wasn’t getting much ‘bang’ for her buck as far as irritating me/effort on her part, so she didn’t try it anymore.”

11. “Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods…”

“He had 2 access roads to his property (he didn’t live there, he just had livestock there) and insisted on using the one that cut through our property, despite the fact that it was the longer route and it was a literal unpaved road through the woods.

He didn’t have an easement or anything, just assumed that since he had to drive through our property to get to that crappy lane road, he was allowed to do so.

He was a total prick to us for no reason, never said hi, got upset if we were too close to his property despite the fact that he literally drove through our property every day.

Revenge came when lightning struck a tree in the woods and it fell right across the access to the lane road…

on OUR property. He hired a service to chop the tree up and told them they could have the wood as part of the payment (it was nice walnut). My dad wasn’t having any of that.

He walked down there with a copy of the sale documents, pointed out the marker that clearly separated our land from our butthole neighbor’s land, got the neighbor to admit that the tree in question was both from our land and currently laying on our land, not his, and then my dad sent the crew packing and told them if they took so much as a branch from that tree, it was theft and he (a lawyer) would see them in court for it.

It’s been over 15 years and that tree is still laying across the access to the lane road. He can still access his property via the other road, so he didn’t have a leg to stand on to force an easement.

Forget you, Jim.”

12. “…yell to my husband about what a horrible woman I was.”

“He used to stand on the footpath wasted every afternoon and yell to my husband about what a horrible woman I was. Once my husband told him to go home and he shaped up to try and punch my husband, who was around 50 years younger than the neighbour.

My infraction?

He rang one day to be nosy check why my husband’s car was home on a workday. I politely thanked him for his call and let him know my husband was sleeping and had a cold, nothing to worry about.

Apparently, I was meant to praise him profusely for being such a caring neighbour, and my husband was meant to follow up with a call once he was awake and also lavish him with praise for caring.

Because we didn’t, we got to hear about it loudly every afternoon until we moved several months later.”

13. “He followed me to my house when I was walking home…”

“The guy who lives three houses down from me is the grand wizard of the HOA and is a massive jerk, so he’s always fining people for the dumbest stuff.

He has quite the long list of offenses.

1: He fined my parents $100 for having one tire of a car parked on our lawn. The HOA rules are no tires can be touching the grass at any time.

He then goes about parking his van dead in the middle of his lawn for sometimes days on end while he does various garage renovations.

2: HOA states you can only have a basketball hoop if it’s cemented into the ground.

We had a water base basketball hoop so he threatened to fine us if we didn’t get rid of it or cement it in. My parents said forget this and donated it to someone.

He then put the same exact type of hoop in his front yard so his nieces and nephews could play with it.

3: We lost some roof tiles when hurricane Wilma hit, and he threatened to fine my parents $50 for not replacing the tiles 2 days after the storm had cleared up.

90% of the city was still without power or phone service. It was literally impossible to get them put back on that quickly.

4: He followed me to my house when I was walking home then stood about 20 feet from my front door with his arms crossed as I was walking inside.

I asked him if I could help him and he asked if I was driving on the main road outside our neighborhood a few minutes prior. I told him, ‘yes,’ and he started complaining about how my car was loud and he could hear me driving on the public roads that are in no way, shape, or form associated with our neighborhood.

I asked if he had any proof that the loud car was mine and not another loud car. He said no; he was just somehow positive it was me. I just walked inside without saying a word.

5: This one is absurd.

My neighborhood is split into two halves: One with the HOA (my half) and the other without an HOA. There are no gates or walls or signs or anything separating the two halves.

It’s weird and I’m still not entirely sure why it’s laid out like this. A buddy of mine who lives in the non-HOA plagued half has a really loud blowoff valve on his car.

Obviously, it makes it’s loud sounds whenever he drives down my street towards his house. Buddy boy comes over one day while I’m mowing the lawn and tells me that if my friend down the street doesn’t do something to make his car stop hissing (that’s how he described the blow-off valve) then there would be repercussions.

I asked how that was any of my business, and he said since I knew him, I could make him stop.

At that point, I had already been hating this guy and his crap for years, so I wasn’t in any mood to pander to him.

I told him that if he had a problem with my friend’s car, which I had zero ownership or part of, then he could go talk to him himself. We got into an argument, and after a few minutes of arguing, I said ‘Whatever dude,’ put my earphones back in and kept mowing my lawn.

He kept saying I would pay for this and that I didn’t know who I was disrespecting. Nothing ever came of it and nobody got fined or anything like that.

I still hate that guy though.”

The one that really gets me? The neighbors getting invited to the party by the new folks on the block, turning them down with an obviously fake excuse… and then taking pictures to try and get them in trouble?

Who does that?! What is wrong with people?!?

Grrrr….

The post 13 People Who Definitely Have Worse Neighbors Than You appeared first on UberFacts.

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10+ People Reveal the Reason Their “Crazy Ex” was So Crazy

Exes are exes for a reason. Often, it’s a matter of just drifting apart. You might build an amicable relationship, or you might never speak again. Some exes, though, are unique. They have been a little unhinged while you were together, or your break-up may have brought out their… special side. These 15 redditors reveal the stories behind what made their exes crazy.

1. 500 phone calls is 499 too many

This will get buried but that’s okay. I dated a girl my freshman year at university for 3 weeks. That’s right, not a full month. I noticed that I needed to bail when she asked to celebrate our 2 week anniversary. Like really celebrate. So after an awkward week I managed to break up with her, only to truly unlock the depth of her pool of crazy. She called my phone 500+ times, and left literal hundreds of crazy screaming/crying voicemails, all in one day. When I didn’t respond that day, she took to the Internet. She found my mothers contact information via LinkedIn (as my mother doesn’t use social media, unless it’s for her job) and called her countless times and even sent her emails. When all of this failed, she sent her meathead brother and his posse of upside-down triangle-shaped men to my house in broad daylight to stir shit up. Which neither my parents nor the neighbor, a fairly young former marine and his new wife, appreciated. After much police involvement, and a few drawn firearms, the crazy bitch gave up (sort of). I still get a call about every 2 months and letters in the mail asking to meet up and “work things out”. Thanks for letting me get that one off my chest.

2. Don’t date people in art school

When I was in art school, I became involved with a girl who was one of the most gifted painter/printmakers I’d ever seen. Everyone knew she was going places. Teachers unabashedly praised her in critiques. She was several years older than me, but I was so smitten it didn’t matter. On our first date, we smoked weed, then salvia, then drank whiskey til we blacked out.

Unfortunately, it hardly stopped there. I quickly realized she had a drinking problem. Every day, she began drinking in the early afternoon. By nightfall, she was belligerent, and often violent. Every night was a new horror…dragging her out of bars, breaking up a fight she’d started with a homeless person, finding her passed out on my porch in the early morning hours. Once, she even jumped out of my (moving) car after an argument.

I couldn’t handle it. I cared about her, but I couldn’t spend my life as a babysitter. Not now, but especially not at 21. I broke up with her sweetly one weekend. She was upset about it, but said she understood and hoped we’d still be friends. I agreed we could.

Monday rolled around, and I walked into my first class. “…You didn’t see the artwork on the wall, did you?” The first person to greet me asked. No, I said. “You need to go look,” said the friend. I sauntered back to the doorway, and looked around. Hung on the wall opposite my classroom was a life-sized woodcut print of me, drowning. I was gasping for breath, fingers clutching nothing but water. More dead than alive. I have a deep fear of the ocean. I haven’t been in a large body of water since I was 10.

For a month, I was faced with the aspect of my own gruesome death.

Everyone agreed it was beautifully done.

And that’s why you don’t date people in art school, kids.

3. Never threaten the dog

I suspect she was crazy long before I knew her, but I realized she was a fucking sociopath when she asked me to euthanize my dog because “he was taking up too much of ‘our’ time”.

4. Stuck in high school

My husband’s crazy ex (just girlfriend from high school) was crazy because she set up a appointment for portrait session to have pictures done of our 3 children for her house. No, we did not let that fruitcake take our children. They broke up their senior year of high school, and this is when we were in our 30s. Shocked at contact from her, nevermind the appt, we found out she also had her phone number listed (phone books then) as Mrs. Our Surname all those years, which was never her name. She was stuck in her high school fantasy, which was frightening.

5. Not the stained glass window!

She forcefully moved in with me, then a few weeks later managed to drink a bottle of Jager while I was at work, then proceeded to throw the case of bottles I brought home after work onto the floor, before throwing my bong off the front porch and storming off into the darkness.

My co-workers who came over to enjoy said beers were a little taken aback, but I managed to salvage a few beers from the mess on the floor and we sat on the couch to figure out what the hell to do with the beast when she returned. Didn’t take too long before all hell broke loose. You see, my door was janky. She thought we had locked her out and proceeded to punch her fist through a $1,000+ stained glass window before peering through the bloodied glass and screaming, “You think you can fuckin lock me out, huh?! HUH?! YOU CAN’T. I’LL BREAK MORE WINDOWS. I’LL DO IT, I SWEAR I WILL. LET ME IN!”

I calmly walked over to the door and cautiously opened it and immediately got punched in the face. Called her Dad and told him to come pick up his daughter before I called the cops. He told me to call the cops.

edit: she had like a 5 year run on The Dirty afterwards, and now she thinks she’s an IG model posting only 3 types of photos; her duck face, her 3 or 4 yr old son, and her partying in Vegas. I only know this from the updates my friends provide, bitch was cray so there’s no way I’d be lurking on that.

6. One date

Painted my name all over his bedroom, bathroom and lounge room. Proposed and then Photoshopped us into wedding pictures, sent invites all his family, mine and my friends, got an ultrasound photo online and tried to announce to Facebook we were expecting a baby, shaved our initials into his cat and left hundreds of love letters taped to my car So that was crazy… We went on half a double date with friends, I was just being a good sport, noped out when he proposed when my food came. The rest came over the next week.

Edit to clarify as I feel I wasn’t clear: this was all after the one and ONLY date. This wasn’t a ‘we dated for months and then his crazy came out’ this was ‘we met an hour ago why are you proposing to me’

7. Just creepy

Walked miles in the snow to my house, tapped on my bedroom window for an hour until I acknowledged him. I turned him away. In the morning I heard rustling in my closet upon waking up. The little fucker snuck into my house somehow and was hiding in my closet. I threatened to call the cops so he left. Weeks later, he emailed me pictures of me sleeping from that night. I still have nightmares about finding him in a closet.

8. This is really terrible

After I broke up with her, she used makeup to feign bruising on her arms, neck, and face. She then proceeded to send pictures of it to all of our mutual friends “warning them” about me.

9. It begun with a cat

Cat disappeared. strange, was a friendly cat.

upstairs neighbor with big dogs came down screaming that my ex had somehow convinced both dogs to jump out the window to their deaths.

she attacked me with scissors and a knife, different days.

blew some guy in his car outside of our apartment

finally, turned on her hairdryer and threw it in the shower with me.

takes a lot to piss me off.

EDIT: This has gotten more attention that I expected so I should probably elaborate a bit. Two disclaimers, I was young and stupid and she was sexy as fuck. This doesn’t excuse my not bugging out much sooner, but it might give you some insight into my frame of mind.

The above is pretty much all in chronological order.

Regarding the cat, not really that unusual, he was an indoor outdoor cat, so any number of things may have happened to him, a neighbor may have thought he was a stray and taken him in, he may have been hit by a car while he was out on a prowl, I have no idea. It’s more of a “in retrospect, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if that crazy bitch killed him” thing.

The dogs; now that’s much stranger. My ex hated those dogs, they were big and noisy, and ran around the upstairs apartment playing all the time. As such she started a bit of a war the with upstairs neighbor who was herself, pretty nuts. I stayed the fuck out of it. My ex had said several times that she was “going to kill those fucking dogs”, but I passed it off as just being annoyed with the constant noise. Hell, I didn’t like it either. But otherwise the apartment was great. So we weren’t really too excited to find a new one. The incident, whatever it was, happened while I was at work. I came home to the crazy neighbor screaming at my crazy ex about how my ex somehow had coaxed the dogs to jump from the window. Now, my ex was very petite, and these were big dogs, so there was no way she could have broken into the neighbors apartment and physically thrown the dogs from the window. I’ve owned a few dogs in my life, and no matter how stupid they are, they were never so dumb as to just fling themselves out a window.

Now, I have no idea what the fuck actually happened, and to this day, (all this happened like 20 years ago) I can’t explain it. At all. BUT, at this point I did start looking at my ex from the corner of my eye, wondering.

Attacking me with scissors and later with a knife. Well, these incidents proved beyond a doubt that she was dangerous. But, both happened in the heat of a moment, during arguments. As I mentioned earlier, she was quite petite, and I was much faster than her, so I had little trouble disarming her without really being in harms way myself. I mean, it wasn’t like she was going to just try to kill me in my sleep in cold blood, right? Yeah…

I forgot to mention, there was another attack, where she tried to mace me in our apartment.

Inside.

windows closed.

I just backed up, and raised one eyebrow, like wtf are you even doing? The mace just settled in a big cloud in the middle of the room, missing me entirely. This REALLY made her mad, she she charged in for another go with her can of mace.

Straight into the cloud she’d just created.

She dropped like a rock. I rolled my eyes. “Okay, come on, let’s get you to the bathroom and wash this out.” The make up sex was great.

But at this point the relationship was pretty much over, it was just a matter of actually, officially ending it. Which, neither of us really seemed to want to do.

All of these things, of course, happened over a few years, and of course in the time between these instances, it was all normal boyfriend/girlfriend stuff, shopping, vacations, laughter, dinners and talking about the future, and of course arguments and fights, some her fault, some mine, most we were both to blame. It wasn’t like it was two or three years of nothing but crazy 100% of the time. Relationships aren’t that simple.

Anyway, near the end we had both sort of stopped caring, that’s when I caught her having sex with a guy in a car outside the apartment. That was the “whelp, this is 100% done” moment. It was failing before but I had hopes we could still work though it or something (like I said, I was young and stupid, and she was hot). But nahhh… done.

So I set my mind and attention to finding a new place. I didn’t even want to bother with fighting over the apartment, it wasn’t THAT nice. I just wanted out. Oddly, we were getting along fine now. We had both accepted it, or so I thought.

One day I come home before her and hop in the shower. The past several days had actually been great. Laughs, sex, cooking. Like a normal couple. She comes home while I’m still in the shower, walks in the bathroom, turns on her hairdryer, and without a word, without emotion, just throws it in the shower with me. Just a dead eyed stare.

I pulled a fucking Matrix slow motion action jump, arms out, water droplets slowly flying out in some sort of hyper reality, as if, well, someone had just thrown a hairdryer in your shower. Probably yelled “WHAT. THE. FUCK?” Then I got dressed and walked the fuck out.

Came to get my things later with an army of friends.

10. I would also not let her in

In one of our many fights she tried to leave in MY vehicle and stormed outside. I had my keys on me so when she walked out i locked the door to get her to have her mom come get her. She turned her wedding ring around and while staring at me through the back sliding glass door, this bitch proceeds to use a diamond to fucking marr her face neck and arm, while saying “youre gonna go to fucking jail! Look at these scratches, you fucking did this to me! Let me in or ill call the police!”

Now i dont know about you, but if a woman is in a certain state of mind that she will use the hardest natural substance known to scratch her own body up, im not letting her in.

So she called the cops and i had to explain to them that i did not in fact attack her and if they would care to notice that out of all her scratches she had none on her left arm.(for the uninformed, here in merica we wear our wedding rings on that hand) then they had an “ah ha” moment so big i thought i was in the fucking take on me video. They finally saw the fuckery at play and hauled her off. Any way that was our second time being married…. thats my crazy ex story.

11. How did she get into the apartment?

In college I had a girl I use to hook up with for like a year. She comes over and invites her friends one night. I walk out to our patio area and literally talk to one of her female friends for maybe 15 seconds. 2 hours later we are leaving my apt and we are the last two to leave. She stops me pours her entire vodka drink on my head in punishment for trying to hook up with her friend. So I told her to get the fuck out and that our situation was over.

My roommates and I go out to ze barz for a couple of hours and come back to find our apt a mess…but only the common area and my room. She poured vodka all over my bed and My room was also covered in dog food. I guess she was trying to send a message. I called this chick and politely told her she’s out of her mind and if I see her again near my apt I’m calling the cops.

Having said that, hands down the best chick I’ve ever hooked up with. But as Mr. George Bluth says you never marry crazy. Or something to that effect.

12. Duck!

She woke me up because I had the night sweats and she was convinced I had Aids. For some reason I decided to appease her and got a full STD screen including an expensive Aids test. A few weeks later I drove to her house to give her my signed note (I had to specifically request) stating my clean bill of health. She accused me of forging the entire thing and in the following argument pulled the plates out of the cupboard and Frisbeed them at me. I left immediately. About 6 months later (I had just started dating my now fiancé) she contacted me to tell me she believed me and wanted to know if she and her two dogs could move in with me. I never responded.

13. A story from the crazy ex

Hey Reddit! Been getting more and more into this site and I really like it! Anyway, I figured I would post mine since I was actually the crazy ex (or I became it)

My first girlfriend (and romantic relationship) happened when I was in my late 20’s. Finally, it seemed, after years of dates, no replies, and rejection it seemed like the trend was finally broken!

She was a work colleague of mine and, despite my friends and family members warning to NOT DATE SOMEONE AT WORK I did not abide since I was so taken and surprised someone would be interested in me, I thought she was one of the most beautiful women I have met in body and mind. She was dorky, energetic, and seemed to be very mature especially considering my absolutely awful performances in the bedroom mainly regarding duration during intercourse – which did get better with time and experience.

We dated for a year and I finally felt such strong feelings for her. I remember waking up next to her and just smiling so much feeling like I found someone who could inspire me and I could look up to and rely on. However, after a year a new guy started working in our company. He was a bicyclist, cross-fit, and pretty attractive guy (even by my notice). A bit after he joined I noticed she became more and more distant. We then got into a fight over her not wanting to go spend a weekend at my aunt’s island and then she hit me with the “can we talk” text soon after. Her delivery was quick and efficient. She said all the nice things: “I am not ready for a long term relationship”, “You are amazing”, “I need to focus on me and my career now”, etc.

I was so sad I was actually surprised. I thought we made up over the trip issue, but then BAM this happened. I didn’t know what to do, I sat at my computer dumbfounded looking at Cheezeburger cat pics trying to make sense of it. My mind was numb. At first, I thought she was genuine and we could just be friends – NOPE!

Within a week of dumping me, she was at lunch with the other guy, he was going over to her desk, and after a month they were leaving the office together.

I cannot describe how much that hurts. I tried to get transferred, I tried to find another job, I tried to work from another location to no avail. And for 8 months straight I watch them together. In the halls, in the cafeteria, in the company gym. The all time worst part was that she would look at me like I was some kind of monster. She saw me with such un-ending fear and disgust in her eyes it drove me a bit crazy.

And crazy I did become. I started experimenting with steroids, weight gainer powder, heavy workouts & power lifting, boxing, and self harm (punching, belt whipping, and low level cutting). Eventually the roids, supplements, and lifting bore fruit and I went from 6’6” 195 (88 kg) to 295 lb (133 kg). However, as many know, roids and supplements spike testosterone which can spike anger easily. And when you have someone who is in a crippling depression getting their heart broken every day for days, weeks, and months – they lose it. I lost it.

I freaked out one night – Valentine’s day of all damn days – and drank a liter of Vodka and began yelling/screaming at everything. My best friend and roommate was terrified. Eventually I couldn’t take it. I took some Tylenol to thin the blood and walked into the bathroom with a knife and cut open my left arm. I bled out for a bit and – unbeknownst to me – my roommate did call the cops when he realized I was in the bathroom a bit too long and was silent – even the crying stopped. The EMTs arrived and stabilized me. After that it was a hard few months of rehab at a psych ward and a lot of anti-depressents, anti-psychotics, and sleep aids.

Once I got out and returned to work. She was still there – dumped the guy a bit after word got out I was in the hospital. And she began to see how big and utterly monstrous I became (still worked out even in rehab but sans the roids and supplements). I did not look at her with smiles and happiness anymore, there was only utter hatred and anger in my eyes. I honestly have never really recovered. She tried on multiple occasions to get me fired and poison the office against me. However, finally, I got another job and left the company I had been with for 6 years.

TL;DR – My ex left me for someone else, dated them in front of me. I took roids & got massive and then tried to kill myself. Then became somewhat of an office monster that made everyone a bit uncomfortable – her most of all in the hallways.

Wow…finally talking about that after a few years really feels good.

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Here’s How Domino’s Pizza Tracker Helped Save One Man’s Life From a Knife-Wielding Ex-Girlfriend

If you’ve ordered a pizza from Domino’s online in the last year or two, you’re almost certainly familiar with the marvel of fast food innovation that is the Domino’s pizza tracker. It’s the kind of breakthrough that’s got some people saying Domino’s is really a tech company making pizzas.

Photo Credit: Gizmodo

Now, picture a guy planning to spend a relaxing Friday night in front of the tube with a nice, hot pizza. Little does he know, Domino’s’ pizza tracker won’t just let him verify a timely delivery, it will be a life saver. Literally.

Photo Credit: Tumblr, notinmybrain

Photo Credit: Tumblr, notinmybrain

Photo Credit: Tumblr, notinmybrain

While we should point out that there is a real argument to be made that the way he talks about his girlfriend’s very legitimate mental disorder is not cool, once you start attacking someone with a knife, you’ve sort of lost the moral high ground.

So…Domino’s for the win!

The post Here’s How Domino’s Pizza Tracker Helped Save One Man’s Life From a Knife-Wielding Ex-Girlfriend appeared first on UberFacts.

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12+ People Reveal Crazy Rules Their Strict Parents Made Them Follow When They Were Kids

As a parent, it’s important to set rules for your children. Otherwise, they won’t learn key disciplines that will serve them well later in life. But sometimes, parents can go a little overboard in the rules department.

If strict curfews were your biggest worry growing up, then you had it good compared to these kids. Now that they’re all grown up, these kids with strict parents hopped on Reddit to reveal the most ridiculous rules they had to follow.

1. No straws

My dad wouldn’t let me use straws because he said they could cut through my tongue or cheek like a hole punch.

2. Rude

My mom didn’t allow the phrase “shut up.”

3. Too violent

I wasn’t allowed to watch most cartoons until I was a teenager. My mom thought Looney Tunes, Tom & Jerry, Mighty Mouse, etc. were all too violent.”

4. Satan is everywhere

No heavy metal, no Harry Potter because it was satanic, and no D&D or Magic: The Gathering because, again, it was satanic.

5. Liar, liar

No using the words “lie,” “liar,” “lying.” Instead we had to say “That’s not the truth” or “That doesn’t sound right.”

6. No talking at dinner

No talking at the dinner table other than the occasional “Do you want some (more) of ___?” Or “Please pass the ___.” We could not talk about anything at all. I make it a point now, with my kids, to chat up a storm each and every meal.

7. Even thinking of it counts

My husband wasn’t allowed to say “frigging” or “gosh” or “fudge” or “goodness” or “sugar” or even “oh, fiddlesticks!” because it meant he was thinking a swear word and “it’s the thought that counts.”

8. Huh?

No drinking water from my bathroom. My bathroom genuinely had colder water and the best water in the house. I don’t know what she possibly thought I was doing, but I had to drink lukewarm peasant water like the rest of my family.

9. How is that fair?

We were punished if my friends broke their own family rules. So Sally sneaks out or gets a tattoo without telling her mom, her mom tells my mom, and my mom grounds us.

10. At least you got an extra hour

Curfew was 11 p.m. for me until I was 21. Now, I’m 23 and have moved out, and when I go home to visit, my curfew is STILL midnight.

11. Was Mario based on a book?

My friend’s parents had a rule that if they wanted too see a movie or get a game, they would have to read the book it was based on first.

12. Grounded for saying “always”

No saying “never” and “always” — because nothing is “never” or “always.” My parents saw these words as exaggeration. For example, if I said something like “Man, we always have chicken for dinner,” I would be reprimanded or grounded.

13. No texting after 10

No texting or calling after 10 p.m. on school nights and midnight on weekends.

14. Fart is a curse word

We couldn’t say “stupid,” “shut up,” “heck,” “darn,” “freaking,” or “fart.”

15. Look both ways

I wasn’t allowed to cross the street until I was 13.

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