6 Tips on How to Have a Productive Conversation About Money with Your Significant Other

Talking about money can be hard, even for people in relationships without communication issues. That said, it has to be done – disagreeing or not being on the same page about finances is listed as one of the main sources of contention for most couples, and no one wants that.

So, in the spirit of healthy relationships, here are 6 tips on having “the talk” with your significant other and getting something great out of it in the process.

#6. Insurance should be part of the talk, too.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

It might sound boring, but life insurance, health insurance, car insurance, etc are other things that should be discussed (and combined if it makes financial sense). It can provide peace of mind and go a long way toward making you feel better about financial security.

#5. Timing is everything.

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Don’t wait too long into your relationship to chat about money – the sooner you do it, the easier it will be to focus on what you want to accomplish together as you grow as a couple. Whenever you do it, though, make sure you have enough time. It’s not something you want to rush.

#4. Debt can’t be a secret.

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If you’re the one who has large student loans or credit card debt, talking about it can be embarrassing. That said, your partner deserves to know what they’re getting into, especially if you plan on joining bank accounts or on tax returns. You can bring a financial advisor into the discussion if you think it might be easier to have a third party’s ideas on the best way for you to resolve debt and move forward as a couple.

#3. Make sure you’ve got the meat covered before you move on to dessert.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

You’ll want to talk about income, expenses, and lifestyle expectations (including children, if that topic applies) in order to understand how much your significant other makes, spends, and saves. Once you’ve got that down, it will be easier to talk about joining budgets or when you’re okay with splurging.

#2. The pros and cons of combining finances.

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There is no right or wrong answer when it comes to deciding whether to keep things separate or to combine them, but if you are considering the latter, you’ll want to think through what that means. You’ll need to be open and honest about expenditures – especially large ones – before they happen. On the plus side, it can be good for communication and understanding what your partner considers an acceptable “splurge.”

#1. Keep an eye on the future.

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Remember that the end game of all of these tough conversations is to build a foundation for the two of you going forward. Decide whether to combine finances, whether one or both of you are going to handle the day-to-day spending and bill paying, etc.

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A husband sent his wife a spreadsheet of all the excuses she’s made to not have sex with him.

Dammit, HBO should never have canceled Tell Me You Love Me. The short-lived series about sexless couples—in which we got to see Adam Scott receive a hand job on a prosthetic penis—might not have won lots of viewers, but here we are seven years later and couples still don’t know how to handle that inevitable period of their relationship when they stop having sex for a period of a few months-to-eternity. Case in point, the guy who emailed his wife a spreadsheet of every excuse she’s made to not have sex with him over the last seven weeks.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The wife shared her turmoil on Reddit’s Relationships subreddit earlier today:

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.

She was good enough to provide the spreadsheet in question:

I’m not a marriage counselor, but I’m pretty sure that if you and the spouse aren’t sleeping together as much as you’d like, the way to turn her on is not with passive-aggressive use of Microsoft Office.

They’re a young couple, according to her post, both 26, married two years and together for five. Despite their youth, she cooks and cleans for him and they pretty much sound like a couple from the 50s, which might explain his bewilderment at her failure to provide sex on demand.

This is a side of him I have never seen before – bitter, immature, full of hatred. In person, he’d been acting normal the whole time, maybe a little standoff-ish in the last week. Completely out of left field. Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn’t that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It’s not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER, it was a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances.

She goes on to say that since she received the spreadsheet, she’s tried calling him several times with no response. So he’s passive-aggressive IRL too, not just in his email attachments. Keep in mind, he sent this to her as she was about to leave on a ten-day business trip in another city.

People in relationships and people who might be in relationships in the future if you end up falling in love this weekend, a brief warning: You will experience periods when you aren’t having sex. It happens.

Sometimes it’s the guy, sometimes it’s the lady, sometimes it’s both parties going through some shit that makes them not feel like boning for a while.

If this period worries you, the way to address it is to say to your partner, “We aren’t having sex that much. What’s up with that, right?”

No spreadsheets!

Now, obviously, one way to respond would be for the wife to return the spreadsheet with an additional column titled, “The Real Reasons I Didn’t Want To Have Sex All Those Times.” But it sounds like she’s just going to wait to talk to him about this. Like adults do.

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Chrissy Teigen Kept It Real About Motherhood Even on Father’s Day

The majority of mothers (and humans in general) love the fact that Chrissy Teigen (and John Legend) keep it real online when it comes to the realities of relationships, parenting, and parenting while trying to maintain your relationship.

Example:

Photo Credit: Twitter

After the birth of their second child (a boy!) Chrissy and John were on their way to a Father’s Day dinner…but, as this image showed, not off duty.

Photo Credit: Instagram

And people love them for keeping it real about how mommies are never really off duty. Not for a few decades, at least!

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