A Teacher Asked Kindergarteners to Create Cook a Book. The Recipes Are Hilarious.

Cooking takes years and years to master. This is why your average kindergartener, who’s still learning how to tie their shoes, is most likely a terrible cook. So when you ask a group of five- and six-year-olds to write a cookbook, you can guess what would result–bizarre, nonsensical, and hilarious recipes.

Jordan Adams is a Texas-based joke writer, pizza enthusiast, and Twitter user. When his nephew Ethan’s kindergarten class wrote their own cookbook, Jordan had to share it with with his Twitter followers.

Ethan’s teacher asked her students to explain how to prepare their favorite foods, and she wrote down their responses word for word. Let’s take a closer look.

Ethan’s Eggs

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

It would be an impressive act of cooking alchemy to to turn pancakes, sugar, and Skittles into eggs. While Ethan’s ingredients might be a bit inaccurate, he does seem to understand eggs’ most important quality as a dish: they’re easy to make. Maybe not so easy that they only need two seconds to cook, but you get the idea. Solid work, Ethan.

Joe’s Tacos

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

Joe is clearly a free-spirit in the kitchen, the sort of chef who goes by instinct, not by following a recipe to the letter. Details like cooking times and ingredients don’t need to be exact. You can even switch to an entirely different dish mid-cook, if you want to! “Brown candy” also sounds intriguing. Joe has all the makings of a future professional chef.

Sebastian’s Pancakes

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

$7o pancakes made entirely out of salt? This kid should open up his own restaurant and become the Salt Bae of breakfast food. At the very least he needs his own Food Network show. Also, nice work reminding everyone to clear the table after eating, Sebastian. Clean-up is part of cooking, too.

Ariana’s Macaroni

Photo Credit: @jordankadams97

Creative! Macaroni and cheese that includes apples and strawberries sounds like the result a crazy Top Chef challenge that required chefs to combine four random ingredients. Could be delicious, could be disgusting! Then Ariana takes things one step further by including ingredients that are inedible. Top Chef should definitely make the contestants cook something with doll parts. Also, I now realize that every recipe should include a trip to the swimming pool. Thank you, Ariana.

As you can imagine, the kindergarten cookbook went massively viral, racking up over 70,000 retweets, 170,000 likes, and hundreds of responses.

Some folks actually wanted to try the recipes.

While some teachers wanted to try writing a cookbook with their classes.

But most of all, people wanted more.

Maybe one day we’ll all be able to read The Kindergarten Cookbook, but until then, these four recipes will have to do.

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These Easy Back-To-School Tips Might Have Teachers Cheering

Teachers, listen up! With everyone back to school, here are a few teacher life hacks to help you get through the year!

10. A wireless doorbell can silence a class and save your voice.

9. This pillowcase hack will keep your room organized.

8. Keep your tissue boxes from walking away.

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What’s the best way to show you the most amazing teacher hack ever? With an animated version of how it works, of course! . . Are you tired of the tissue box going missing? Are you concerned about all the germs on the box? If you are, go snag yourself one of these bad boys! . . I bought my under the counter thingy at Walmart, trimmed the grate to fit where the entire tissue comes out. Shake the box up really good so the tissues loosen up inside and they come out easier. Hang it in a convenient spot and you’re good to go! If you need a tutorial of how I did mine, go check out my highlight story “Tissue Box Hanging Thingy Hack” . . . #teachovertherainbow #texas #iteachintexas #texasteachersofinstagram #teachintheheartoftexas #texasteachertribe #texasteachers #4thgradeteacher #4thgrade #iteach4th #libertyelementary #LISD #teachersofinstagram #teachersfollowteachers #tftpickme #iteachtoo #teacherlife #teachersofig #teachergram #teachermom #teachersofinsta #teacherlove #allthingsrainbow #classroompinspirations

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7. This glue hack will save teachers money while keeping craft time neat and tidy.

6. Keep your students focused on reading with these easy-to-make reading strips.

5. Salt shakers are a great tool to keep glitter organized (if not totally contained).

4. A closet shoe organizer can hold almost anything.

3. With the help of a few household items, you can create a fun word game.

2. Eliminate lost pencils by having your students place them in personalized toothbrush cases.

1. And lastly, teachers. Set an alarm and remember to leave work at a decent time. You need your rest!

 

You got this teachers – we’re rooting for you!

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These Memes Are for the Worry-Free, Childless People Among Us

Welcome to my world.

If you’re like me and you have no kids, this is the post for you. You know these memes all too well because you’re living them every single day.

If you have kids… well, it’s only forever. Don’t worry. I’m sure all of those hugs you don’t get are worth it.

No no, I’m kidding of course. You get a TON of hugs. How much are you paying per hug? $10,000? Have you ever done the math.

Nevermind! Let’s go!

1. *sniff* what am I gonna do with all this cash????

Photo Credit: Someecards

2. I think you’ll be very successful at that!

Photo Credit: Someecards

3. Okay. Yes. That tracks.

Photo Credit: Someecards

4. There’s a Simpsons reference for everything

Photo Credit: Someecards

5. Diaper free since forever!

Photo Credit: Someecards

6. Well, that sounds fulfilling!

Photo Credit: Someecards

7. Cheese please!

Photo Credit: Someecards

8. No you can’t have that… said nobody to me!

Photo Credit: Someecards

9. OMG! What??? You don’t want humans of your own?!

Photo Credit: Someecards

10. Eliza… you bae!

Photo Credit: Someecards

11. This guy knows what’s up!

Photo Credit: Someecards

12. Morpheus knows his shizzz…

Photo Credit: Someecards

I don’t know… I think I want to have kids now. Because who likes freedom and money. Nobody! That’s who! Hahahahahaha… oh boy.

No, but seriously… what are the best reasons for having kids? Let me know in the comments. Convince me. Please.

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Studies Show That Children Who Grow up Around Their Grandparents Are Happier and Less Likely to Be Depressed

I’ve always been jealous of people who grew up close to their grandparents and so were able to enjoy that bond. My family moved around so much when I was growing up that my grandparents lived far away, and I was only able to meet them a few times while they were still alive.

Beyond the love, care, and guidance that grandparents give to their grandkids, research shows that this special relationship is even more beneficial than we thought.

Photo Credit: Pexels

A 2016 study shows that children who have close emotional ties with their grandparents have a reduced risk of becoming depressed. The study was conducted by researchers from Boston College who analyzed data collected over a 19-year period.

More good news came out of the study as well. Grandparents also benefit from a close relationship with their grandkids, and the older folks are less likely to show depressive symptoms as well.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Another study, out of the University of Oxford, found that kids who had close relationships with their grandparents coped better with difficult and traumatic life events, such as bullying or going through a divorce. This research also showed that kids with a higher level of involvement from grandparents in their lives had fewer behavioral and emotional problems and that they dealt with life changes in a healthy way.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Kimberly Agresta, of the Agresta Psychotherapy Group, said:

“If parents regularly involve grandparents in their child’s life early on, a child can develop real emotional closeness to the grandparents and begin to see the grandparent as a source of strong social support. So a child will feel that they have other adults, aside from their parents, who love and care about them in the same way, and this adds to their sense of stability and security.”

If you grew up around your grandparents, consider yourself a lucky person.

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A Boy Befriends a Second-Grader with Autism Who Was Having a Rough First Day at School

We see so many news and social media stories about how kids are cruel and mean and they have no respect these days. Well, I think this wholesome story might refresh you perspective on that way of thinking.

The first day of school is rough for anyone, and that was definitely the case for a second-grader in Wichita, Kansas, named Connor Crites. The young boy is autistic, and, as happens with people on the spectrum, he became overwhelmed with the back-to-school routine and started crying.

That’s when a fellow second-grader named Christian Moore stepped in. He saw Crites crying, so he went over to hold Crites’ hand and console the boy. Moore’s mother was nearby, and she snapped a photo of the encounter that she shared the story of Facebook, where it quickly went viral.

I’m so proud of my son, he seen a kid balled up into a corner crying, so he went to console him, grabbed his hand and…

Posted by Courtney Coko Moore on Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Moore’s caption on her photo read “I’m so proud of my son, he seen a kid balled up into a corner crying, so he went to console him, grabbed his hand and walked him inside of the school! It is an honor to raise such a loving, compassionate child! He’s a kid with a Big heart, the first day of school started off right.”

Connor Crites’ mother April responded to the heartfelt gesture. She said, “That’s all I can ask for, is someone to be open to him like that. I’m so happy that something so positive is coming from all this, that my son got a friend, hopefully a friend for life.” April also explained that her son was nonverbal until he was 5 years old.

Connor himself said about the encounter, “He was kind to me. I was in the first day of school and I started crying. Then he helped me and I was happy.”

People on Facebook responded to the moving post.

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook

Photo Credit: Facebook

A big heart indeed.

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15 Memes About Not Having Children Just to Remind All of Us That’s It’s a Choice

It depends on who you talk to, but some folks look at you like you are an alien from another galaxy if you tell them you don’t have children or don’t plan on having children.

For me, I love kids and I have a great time with the little ones who belong to my family and friends. Buuuuuuut, I don’t think it’s for me and the clock is ticking, if you know what I’m saying.

If you’re in the same boat as me and you get the “What’s wrong with you?” looks or comments once in a while, these memes will give you a big chuckle.

1. That’s why

View post on imgur.com

2. Is that permanent?

3. Swish!

Sets the mood perfectly from memes

4. I am settling down

5. My choices

View post on imgur.com

6. Love it!

This speaks to me from childfree

7. Please change

8. Like a genie

9. Future looks bright

10. Doesn’t look like it

Facts from childfree

11. Hmmmm

View post on imgur.com

12. No thank you

13. What the hell is wrong with you?!?!

14. It was glorious

15. Great…

They said having kids would be great… from funny

Yeah….nahhh.

The post 15 Memes About Not Having Children Just to Remind All of Us That’s It’s a Choice appeared first on UberFacts.

15 Memes About Not Having Children Just to Remind All of Us That’s It’s a Choice

It depends on who you talk to, but some folks look at you like you are an alien from another galaxy if you tell them you don’t have children or don’t plan on having children.

For me, I love kids and I have a great time with the little ones who belong to my family and friends. Buuuuuuut, I don’t think it’s for me and the clock is ticking, if you know what I’m saying.

If you’re in the same boat as me and you get the “What’s wrong with you?” looks or comments once in a while, these memes will give you a big chuckle.

1. That’s why

View post on imgur.com

2. Is that permanent?

3. Swish!

Sets the mood perfectly from memes

4. I am settling down

5. My choices

View post on imgur.com

6. Love it!

This speaks to me from childfree

7. Please change

8. Like a genie

9. Future looks bright

10. Doesn’t look like it

Facts from childfree

11. Hmmmm

View post on imgur.com

12. No thank you

13. What the hell is wrong with you?!?!

14. It was glorious

15. Great…

They said having kids would be great… from funny

Yeah….nahhh.

The post 15 Memes About Not Having Children Just to Remind All of Us That’s It’s a Choice appeared first on UberFacts.

Here’s How Much Sex to Have If You Want a Baby

If you wanna have a baby, you gotta have sex. No surprise there, right? But exactly how much sex? About 78 times, according to a 2017 study.

ChannelMum.com, a parenting website, surveyed couples to find out how often they had sex, and for how long, before they got pregnant. They found that it typically took 185 days from the moment that couples decided to conceive to the moment that they got a positive pregnancy test. While in the trying-to-conceive stage, couples had sex about 13 times each month.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

The study also yielded some other interesting data. Missionary was the most popular position for baby-making, followed by doggy style and the “eagle” (which is like missionary, but the bottom partner has their legs wide and in the air).

Half of the couples said that they made love a lot more frequently than normal when they were trying to conceive, and 18 percent admitted that sex became a chore rather than a pleasure. Another change is that women tended to initiate more frequently.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

“Far from being an unlucky number, 13 seems to be the lucky number couples need each month to fall pregnant,” said Siobhan Freegard, founder of ChannelMum.com.

“But while trying to conceive can be fun, it is also hard work, stressful and not every couple is lucky enough to get conceive, so while you’re focused on the baby, try to remember about each other too.”

The post Here’s How Much Sex to Have If You Want a Baby appeared first on UberFacts.

How 15 Childless Couples Feel About Sticking to Their “No Kids” Rule

The choice to stay child free is becoming more and more common – and though younger people are accepting of the option, older people will still claim people who opt out of parenting “will regret it one day.”

Is it true? Well, these 13+ people who made the choice years ago are about to tell all…

15. We couldn’t have had the adventures we did

Been married for 21 years and initially we tried to have kids but found out that it was going to be hard to do. Wife was heartbroken at first, but I was somewhat relieved. It’s a lot of responsibility and your life changes to accommodate a child.

Over the years, wife has actually said a few times that she was glad we didn’t have kids because we couldn’t have had the adventures we did. I feel like it was the right choice and we’re better off due to not having kids. We love our life and are continuing our adventures now in our 50’s and we’re starting to make plans for retirement.

14. It’s absolutely no contest

My husband & I are in our 50s & have been married 19 years. We both grew up with abusive dads, were the “smart kid” in the family, got the hell out ASAP, worked our way through college & made something of ourselves before meeting & getting married. A lot of common ground & we’ve built a strong, rock-solid marriage.

We considered having kids, but after working so hard on healing from the childhood abuse & escaping the cycle of poverty we grew up in, we decided long ago that just the two of us was enough. We still consider ourselves a family and we’ve been really happy with our life together. Our home is peaceful & that’s the thing we care about the most.

If I had to choose now, knowing what I do, between becoming a mother & having the marriage & home life I now enjoy, it’s absolutely no contest. Zero regrets.

13. Our money and time are our own

I am late 50s, married, no kids. It’s a great life. Our money and time are our own.

I do have a large number of nieces and nephews, as well as being “uncle” to many friend’s kids. And they are all nice as hell to a fun aunt an uncle with a lot of disposable income. In their late teen and college years we become confidantes when parent relations are strained. We help them with the occasional vacation or help them get a good used car.

We may not have kids, but the kids in the family think we are awesome.

12. Far too many cons

I go through phases where I regret not having a kid, I still have plenty of time: My wife and I are 36, but we made the decision to be childless a decade ago, maybe more.

I understand the appeal of having children and feel it on some primal level, but logically the pros vs. cons of having a kid… there are just far too many cons.

11. That day never came

I always thought I’d wake up one day and be clucky and ready to start a family. That day never came and I’m pushing 50 now so I’ve missed my chance.

I sometimes wonder if I made a mistake not having kids but its not something i really regret.

On the plus side, I am looking at retiring with a 6 figure income at 52, regularly donate and do charity work. In-fact I am looking at starting my own charity at the end of the year to dedicate more time to when I retire.

In some ways not having children has/will allow me to help more people than just my immediate family.

My suggestion is do what feels right, either way its a big decision that only you and your partner should make.

10. An important difference

For my spouse, I can only say that they have physical and psychological issues that they’ve mentioned that they’d rather not pass on to a child.

For myself, I’ve always said that while I’m occasionally afraid that someday I might regret not having children, that’s not the same as wanting children, and that’s an important difference to me. I have my own reasons to believe I’d probably not be a good parent.

Yeah, we both get concerned sometimes whether anyone will be arsed to care about the sole survivor once the other’s gone or incapacitated. But this thought is the result of our decisions, not a basis for changing our minds about having kids, which we will not. Having kids or not is no guarantee that you’ll end up cared for or not anyway, though it does probably move the needle on your odds.

Edited to clarify that last paragraph somewhat.

9. Not having kids is just as normal

We’ve been married twenty years. We are both 50. Neither of us wanted to bring children into our family.

I spent a WONDERFUL afternoon with my 16 year old niece yesterday. We talked about her boyfriend, picked blackberries and discovered a woodland clam [fingernail mussel] living in a mud puddle [vernal pool] in the woods, which we named Fred. It was magical. I just adore her.

Not having kids is just as normal as wanting kids, I’ve always felt.

Zero regrets.

8. It’s best to hold off

No regrets.

Not everyone wants them, and if you’re not sure, it’s best to hold off. Having ambivalent (or worse) parents does a real number on a kids self esteem.

7. A huge relief

My husband and I are 48.

Not having kids is a huge relief, still. We get to travel, have a nice house, walk around naked if we want, and I have disposable income to support causes that are important.

My life is fulfilling and happy.

6. Missing the Mommy gene

I’m a 49 year old female and have never regretted my decision to not have kids. I think I’ve always been missing the mommy gene. I like not having the responsibilities and obligations (and expenses!) that go along with having kids.

5. I would not have made a good parent

I’m not a couple, just a person.

I’ve been in lots of relationships and was married twice. I would not have made a good parent. Regret sometimes I wasn’t born into a different life, but given the cards I was dealt… I think I made the right choice in that department and have no regrets.

4. I’m not really capable of doing it alone

I go back and forth.

My SO has some significant mental health issues and I know that I would be alone doing much of the emotional labor of raising a child, and I know I’m not really capable of doing it alone. Sometimes I worry very much about what I will do when I am old. I’m an introvert and dont have many friends and am not overly likable, so I assume I will be alone. I just hope that there are some kind robots to take care of me, and that I’ll die before the robots turn on us.

3. He truly loves life

I have a professor at my university who has been married to his wife for 50 years, and they have no children. He calls us his children and always talks about how he and his wife are inseparable. He’s a really eccentric and energetic guy, even in his 70’s. He gives out candy to the entire class before every lecture he gives.

He seems like he truly loves life and has no regrets about not having any children.

EDIT: Holy hell! Thanks so much for the gold, gracious benefactor!

2. We’re good

I’m 60 now, been married for 29 years.

God did not provide me with the proper temperament to raise children. Have never regretted our decision to be child free. We’re good ??.

1. I am slowly learning to accept

My wife and I have been married for 12 years – I am 36 and she is 40, so, yeah, likely not in the cards. It is a reality that, while tough, I am slowly learning to accept.

I realized that as a guy, I always look at having kids with rose-colored glasses – ball games, working on my classic car with them, dad jokes, the fun stuff. That’s easy for me as it’s not my body and sacrifice. My wife is not on board and it’s her body and I love and respect her to much to force her hand. If either one of us are not 100% ok with a major decision, we don’t do it, end of discussion.

I look forward to spoiling my nieces and nephews and spending more time with my wife and continuing to make our world about us, forever.

Parenting is no joke, so the more information you have beforehand, the better!

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American and Mexican Children Play Together on Seesaws Built into the Border Wall

Here’s a feel-good story.

Despite all the current examples of tragedy, hateful rhetoric, and divisiveness in the news, the images of children simply playing together at the US-Mexico border can make us all pause and reflect on what it means to be human.

There’s no doubt that the situation along the US-Mexico border is complicated and has been for many, many years. But two university professors decided to change the tone from “it’s scary and complicated’ to “maybe this can be a little whimsical” by installing seesaws that straddle the border so kids on opposite sides of the fence can play with each other.

How do you like that for breaking down barriers?

The folks behind the project are Ronald Rael, a professor of architecture at the UC Berkeley, and Virginia San Fratello, an associate professor of design at San Jose State University.

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One of the most incredible experiences of my and @vasfsf’s career bringing to life the conceptual drawings of the Teetertotter Wall from 2009 in an event filled with joy, excitement, and togetherness at the borderwall. The wall became a literal fulcrum for U.S. – Mexico relations and children and adults were connected in meaningful ways on both sides with the recognition that the actions that take place on one side have a direct consequence on the other side. Amazing thanks to everyone who made this event possible like Omar Rios @colectivo.chopeke for collaborating with us, the guys at Taller Herrería in #CiudadJuarez for their fine craftsmanship, @anateresafernandez for encouragement and support, and everyone who showed up on both sides including the beautiful families from Colonia Anapra, and @kerrydoyle2010, @kateggreen , @ersela_kripa , @stphn_mllr , @wakawaffles, @chris_inabox and many others (you know who you are). #raelsanfratello #borderwallasarchitecture #teetertotterwall #seesaw #subibaja

A post shared by Ronald Rael (@rrael) on

The seesaws were installed at the border in Sunland Park, New Mexico, not far from the very busy border of El Paso, Texas, and Ciudad Juarez, Mexico.

Photo Credit: Instagram,rrael

Photo Credit: Instagram,rrael

Rael and San Fratello actually came up with the idea for a “Teetertotter Wall” back in 2009. In his Instagram post, Rael said, “The wall became a literal fulcrum for U.S.-Mexico relations and children and adults were connected in meaningful ways on both sides with the recognition that the actions that take place on one side have a direct consequence on the other side.”

Photo Credit: Instagram,rrael

Rael added that the seesaw project “is incredibly important at a time when relationships between people on both sides are being severed by the wall and the politics of the wall.”

Kids simply having fun knows no boundaries, no borders, no walls, and no fences.

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