Category: childhood

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People Describe The Best ‘Poverty Meals’ From Childhood They Still Love To This Day

Childhood poverty is no joke.

But there are certain aspects of growing up poor that people actually enjoy that upper and middle class kids usually don’t experience.

One of those is the so-called “poverty meal”—a go to quick meal for when you’re really broke made from inexpensive pantry staples like macaroni, rice, potatoes and canned goods.

The dubiously named Redditor laced-with-arsenic asked:

“What’s your favorite poverty meal that you still eat regardless of where you are financially?”

Steak Fingers

“Grew up poor, but my mom sure knew how to stretch a dollar. She would make steak fingers out of the cheapest meat cuts she could find.”

“Tenderize, fry them up make gravy out of the drippings and serve with mashed potatoes. The whole meal probably cost less than 5 bucks in 70s dollars, and I’m telling you nothing tasted better.”

“I made it for my kids when they were growing up and they still ask me for it sometimes. She would be 94 today.”

“Love you, miss you mom.” ~ markarlage

Cereal

“Bowl of cereal.” ~ ApocalypseSpokesman

“My nephew was so excited when he realised that people ate cereal for meals other than breakfast.”

“Didn’t have the heart to tell him.” ~ lilithpingu

“A bag of generic cereal is like 5 or 6 bucks. That’s easily 10-15 meals at least.”

“A gallon of milk where I live is 3 bucks. And that’s good for like 10 bowls of cereal.”

“That comes out to less than a dollar per meal.”

“Add in a banana or toast and you hit at a dollar per meal. Super cheap.” ~ bhfroh

Quesadillas & Chilaquiles

“I’m Mexican. For us, it’s usually quesadillas without meat, rice and black beans as the sides.” ~ Reddit

“For us it’s usually chilaquiles.” ~ mattylou

“Bruh, we can’t even explain to the internet how cheap and tasty chilaquiles are.” ~ SteamFoxx

“Enfrijoladas.” ~ Bob__Kazamakis

“My girlfriend is Mexican and she makes this for us. It’s so wonderful. Homemade everything.” ~ yabaquan643

Sh*t On A Shingle

“Shit on a shingle? Sausage gravy served over toast.” ~ phenomagasm

“SOS! My mom made the gravy from scratch, just flour, butter, milk, and pepper, and used sliced corned beef instead. Mmmmmmm!!” ~ motherfuqueer

“Chipped beef on toast!! My mom was literally the only person I knew who ever made this.” ~ 910ee

“We ate this growing up and we weren’t poor. My mom was very poor growing up.”

“This was comfort food for her. We’d have it once or twice a year in the winter.”

“I still love it and ask her to make it when I visit.” ~ StarryEyes8194

Potatoes

“Boiled potatoes and butter. Don’t care if I am rich or poor that is my go to snack.” ~ dapornaddict

“Aww man this hits hard. Was living alone in London didn’t have much money at all.”

“I’d hit up Aldi get a full chicken for £1.75, a broccoli for 55p, and some potatoes for 55p.”

“I’d make a full roast like a king and still have potatoes to boil and have with butter after. So f’king good.” ~ EnemiesAllAround

“My family does something similar. Put some red skin potatoes, fresh green beans, chicken stock, and seasonings in a pot (or slow cooker) and simmer it for an hour or more.”

“Use a slotted spoon to put some in a bowl, then add a bit of stock and plenty of butter. It’s heaven.” ~ FitChemist432

“Fried eggs with fried potatoes.” ~ MrOtero

“The only meal Romanian dads knew how to cook when mom was away.” ~ Fabulini

“Ukrainian too. My old man can’t cook for sh*t, but I loved every time he made that.” ~ ExtraBitterSpecial

“Same for my Russian dad. I miss his fried potatoes and eggs.” ~ BarefootHippieDesign

“Oven-baked potatoes with salt and margarine.”

“Cheap ingredients found in almost every home and easy to make. Also, the starch in potatoes makes you feel full for pretty long.” ~ trashturmoilavocado

“I’m Irish and that is my go-to.”

“I can cook potatoes 100 ways.”

“I could have made a 5lb bag of potatoes last a week in my university days.” ~ guinnesshappy

Macaroni

“We called it ‘Ghetto Mac’ where you make some pasta and add in whatever you can find in the fridge or cabinets. Cheese, lunch meat, spam, spices, etc…”

“No two meals were ever the same.” ~ RhondaTheHonda

“We always called it poverty pasta.” ~ TehGogglesDoNothing

“We called that white trash casserole.” ~ WonBigMayor

“We always just called it goulash even though it doesn’t resemble traditional goulash at all.” ~ koolaideprived

“Called it goulash. Usually ground beef, stewed tomatoes and a can of vegetables in elbow macaroni but my mom had been known to do hot dogs, ham, sausage or just extra veggies.”

“Goulash is traditionally a soup but this was more of a casserole.” ~ Urithiru

“All this time I didn’t even know it had a name we would just do this to try to make a meal.” ~ JtDeluxe

Dal

“Dal.”

“Aside from tumeric you can buy all the ingredients for less than $2 a pound.” ~ Spam-Monkey

“Oh yeah! Dal is magic. Lentils in general deserve more love.”

“They are SO GOOD FOR YOU, and are delicious. They make a great meat substitute if you’re broke or just want to go meatless.” ~ tomboyfancy

“As an Indian, I see where you’re coming from, but I really never saw it that way before.” ~ RupesSax

“Dal by itself? Nah. But khitchdi? Now you’re talking! My favourite comfort food.” ~ hsihsadna

Squash

“We used to eat (zucchini or yellow neck) squash and eggs growing up. Grew the squash and eggs are cheap enough, or trade with the neighbors.”

“You just cut the squash into thin round and cook in a pan with a little oil until they’re just soft. Scramble the eggs with the squash, add a bunch of pepper, some salt.”

“Sometimes we ate it over noodles or rice.” ~ _Not-A-Monkey-St_

Soup

“Egg drop soup: – 1 quart chicken stock – 1 tbsp soy sauce – 1 tbsp corn starch – 1 inch grated ginger – whisk in 2 eggs – green onions sprinkled.” ~ csaszarcasa

“Soup boiled down with rice to bulk it up.” ~ StanMarsh02

“Dump a can of your favorite condensed ‘cream of’ atop a cup or two of rice. Best damn comfort food when you’re sick.” ~ Stargate525

“My grandma (who grew up during WWII) taught me that you can make soup from almost anything.”

“At least once a week I just throw a bunch of scrap veggies, left over meat, rice and whatever other random bits are left over from the week’s meals into a pot with some stock, boil it all together and bam.” ~ Reddit

PB & Sometimes J

“Peanut butter sandwich.” ~ Thinkpad200

“Nothing beats a good ole-fashioned PB&J, hold the J” ~ rezamwehttam

“My oldest son (about 4) would always say ‘I want a cooked peanut butter and jelly sandwich’, which meant peanut butter and jelly on toast.

“My middle son (about 2) would proceed to say ‘I want the same thing but not cooked and no jelly’.”

“I’d say so a peanut butter sandwich? ‘NO, I WANT A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY NOT COOKED WITH NO JELLY!’” ~ ImNotBettyBoopg

“I had a PB&J recently and felt like a f’king fool! Why did I stop eating these when I became an adult?”

“Society lead me to believe this was the way. It is not!”

“Been having PB&J a couple nights a week since. I refuse to let societies unenlightened views dictate my dinner choices!”

“PB&J is a top tier dish for any occasion.” ~ Iminurcomputer

There are definitely regional and cultural differences. Many enduring comfort foods also qualify as poverty meals.

The recipes remain popular because they’re simple, quick and inexpensive.

What are the poverty meals you still love?

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People Share The Facts That Were Hidden From Them As Children

Breaking:

It has come to our attention that in most places it is NOT, in fact, illegal to have your vehicle’s interior cabin light on at night.

It’s just really distracting and annoying.

Some day some parents decided it was just easier to say it was illegal and it kind of stuck since then. Parents have just been out here telling kids half-truths like it’s literal law.

Reddit user jagenton25 asked: 

“What’s a fact that was hidden from you as a child?”

I know I just said half-truths, but some of these are outright lies—and outright brilliant.

Official Policies

“It is actually not the official policy of Wonderland (large amusement park near where I grew up) that you are only allowed to visit once per year.”

“I’m not mad, I actually think it was hilarious that my parents convinced us of this.”

– pm-a-surprise

“My parents let us believe that you were only allowed to go to Chuck E Cheese on your birthday (or your sister’s birthday, I guess).”

– kaleidoverse

“As a parent who had to pay for Wonderland…. this is amazing.”

– QueenA68

The Trade-In Program

“There isn’t a trade-in program to bring in old legos to get new ones. Some f*cker just stole all my legos from our parked car and my parents told me this so I would not be sad.”

“I hope he experienced the small parts choking hazard himself, the c*nt.”

– Buroda

“I know they’re expensive, but there has to be a special place in hell for someone who steals Legos.”

“You have to know you’re stealing from a child. What a piece of sh*t…”

– JADW27

Special Tailored

“Birthday Suits are not real suits.”

“Growing up in a household where the attire was a cross between business attire and church clothes, I always assumed the term Birthday Suit was a special tailored suit that was given to you on your birthday.”

– brokenturle

“Yeah. I made this mistake, except I made it when I was older and working.”

“I was so excited about going out for my 21st birthday with my brand new outfit. I told everyone I was going to wear my birthday suit.”

“A coworker had to pull me aside and tell me what it was. He was almost in tears from laughing so hard at me.”

“I still say it though because it’s funny and a great memory.”

– WeHaveGuns

That’s Illegal – Or Is It?

“That playing around with the interior lights while in a moving vehicle is actually legal… It’s just annoying.”

– Atomic_Chad

“I thought this was illegal until even after college.”

“Thanks, Mom and Dad. So many times it would have been helpful to turn the inside light on while I’ve been in the car in the dark!”

– Kartash

“My whole life is a lie!!!”

– ABotchedVasectomy

“My parents were the same. They would freak out if I turned it on.”

“I found out after turning 16 that it was because the windshield of our van became a f*cking mirror when a light was turned on inside while it dark outside.”

“Couldn’t see a f*cking thing.”

– gslwbfianf

Steve

“I grew up thinking I had a 6th sibling—a stillborn brother named Steve.”

“My older brothers told me about ‘Steve’ when I was about five, and I didn’t believe them, so I went to verify this information with my mother.”

“My mother has run a tutoring business out of our house for as long as I’ve been alive. She’s usually exceptionally busy; I think she had about eight students when I went to ask her.”

“My mom had five young kids. We were poor. She was always hustling and exceptionally busy.”

“She didn’t have time to deal with our crap while she was tutoring, and we mostly just asked her if we could get food and she would usually respond yes.”

“So I ask her whether I had a sixth sibling named Steve. She doesn’t even look up.”

“She just says something like “Yeah, yeah, now go play somewhere else.”

“I, of course, take this as unequivocal proof that Steve existed and that he was dead. It came from my mother’s own mouth, after all.”

“I believe this for the next decade. I only think about poor stillborn Steve once in a while on his supposed birthday, and I don’t bring it up again for eleven years.”

“I was at a debate tournament with my brother, hanging out with all my closest friends, when we start talking about dead family members.”

“Somebody’s grandmother is dead. Somebody lost their brother. I mention I have a dead brother, too. His name was Steve.”

“And then this uncomfortable exchange happens in front of everyone.”

“‘Who’s Steve?’ my brother asks.”

“‘Our stillborn brother, remember?’”

“‘Huh?’”

“‘You told me about him when I was five?’”

“A slow grin spreads across my brother’s face. I know this grin. Everyone in my family calls it his Chinese Devil Grin because it means trouble.”

“‘Wait,’ he says. ‘You’ve believed that for eleven years!? We made that up’.”

“‘But mom confirmed it!’”

“‘Nope. Totally made up. I can’t believe you actually thought that for eleven years!’”

“I’m not going to explain what happened afterward, but people called me ‘Steve’ for weeks. Also, I double-checked with my mother. There was no Steve.”

“So the fact that I DIDN’T have a brother named Steve was hidden from me as a child, I guess.”

– Thomhobbes

That One Tomato Plant

“My parents were gardeners.”

“We were pretty poor, so we did subsistence gardening and ate out of that garden most of the summer, and fished for protein.”

“BUT they also grew this herb, which looked a lot like tomato plants.”

“That’s what I thought it was—except it never grew tomatoes and was kept in a separate garden.”

“I did finally catch on, but it took a while.”

“Young mary jane plants look a lot like young tomato plants. My folks were hippies who had a very decent crop, which I now understand in retrospect.” 

– calcaneus

“We had a huge garden, but my father always kept one tomato plant growing in a lighted box in the basement closet.”

– Rosyshortcake

“The funny thing is it kind of smells like tomato plants, too. Oh, and they also have nearly identical nutritional requirements.”

– Capt_Hawkeye_Pierce

I Ain’t Afraid Of No Magic

“My dad had a 45rpm of the Ghostbusters theme song. He would play it for my brothers and I, and then say that he was magic and he would make the words disappear.”

“He would pick the record up, shake it around, say some magic words, and put it back on the record player.”

“Lo and behold, when the song started playing again, there were no vocals.”

“It blew our minds! Our dad really knew a magic trick!”

“Then I forgot about it for 15 years.”

“My dad decides he wants to get rid of most of his record collection, and asks me if I wanted any before he gave them away.”

“So, I’m sorting through the stack of 45s and there it is; The Ghostbusters theme! I excitedly hold it up, and remember the magic trick.”

“Then I flip it over and see that the B-Side was the instrumental version.”

“Of course I burst into laughter at the realization that I fell for such a simple trick. But I still had to confront Dad.”

“So, I bust into the kitchen all serious and toss him the disc.”

“I said accusingly: ‘what’s this!?’”

“‘Uh….The Ghostbusters theme song?’”

“‘Yeah, and what’s the B-Side?’”

“‘The instrumental version?’”

“‘Magic words my ass!’”

“The memory suddenly clicked and he started laughing hysterically. I guess it was something we had all forgotten.”

– ChuckZombie

So now that you’ve had some time to recover from the shock of that whole interior light thing, and you’ve read through what Reddit has to say, it’s your turn at the mic.

What truths did your family hide from you as a kid?

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People Wax Nostalgic About Their Best Christmas Memory Of All Time

Ebenezer Scrooge is not alone in harkening back to Christmases past.

Many of us reflect on prior holidays.

We enjoy both sharing and hearing about the happy holidays people had.

So a number of Redditors asked:

“What is your best Christmas memory?”

To Grandmother’s House We Go…

“Every Christmas Eve, at Grandma’s house, we’d all have a giant nerf war. We all had our teams of cousins we’d pair up with, and it was awesome!” ~ polysnip

Disbelief

“Not really my ‘best’ but it’s one of my favourites. It was when my dad told me Santa wasn’t real when I was maybe 7 or 8.”

“He was on the road working so it was over the phone, and I immediately hung up and started crying. Then, I called his dad and told him the ‘lie’ my dad just told me.”

“He just laughed… I was so convinced that Santa was real I seriously thought my dad was lying.” ~ jimothy-pickens

A Memory Made Of Memories

“A few years ago, on Christmas Eve we found a box of our baby videos, and we all sat down and watched them for hours.” ~ reammachine

Special Surprise

“Shocking my 16-year-old son with his first car.” ~ Scrappy_Larue

To Be A Kid Again

“The Christmas my parents decided to say we were old enough to not have Santa visit anymore. My brothers and I (6 of us in total) ranged in age from 15 to 26 and we threatened to boycott Christmas if Santa wasn’t part of it.”

“So my parents went out and bought a load of cheap toys for Santa to deliver—water pistols, foam dart guns, swords, shields, dress-up items like Viking hats and crowns and feather boas that could be worn by adults.”

“We spent the day playing like little kids again and it was so much fun. ~ KittikatB

A Very Special Delivery

“I’ll do two. One is the best memory I have that occurred on Christmas, the second is a good (can’t really choose a best) Christmas memory.”

“The first is being surprised three weeks early with the birth of my first child, on Christmas Day. Her birth itself is the absolute best part of the memory, holding her and seeing her for the first time, best present ever. Afterward I failed to even think of checking the nearby Chinese restaurant to see if they were open.”

“My Christmas dinner that year was a bowl of Cheerios sitting in front of the Alastair Sim Christmas Carol before heading back to the hospital for the next two days.”

“A good memory from my childhood (I was probably in Jr. High, if not high school) was the year I decided to stay up all night.”

“After our Christmas Eve festivities, when everyone else went to bed, I set up shop right by the tree, turned on the radio to the all Christmas music channel, grabbed a big mug of cocoa (with mini candy cane dropped in), and spent the night gazing at the tree, reading A Christmas Carol and A Child’s Christmas in Wales, and eventually ending up lying under the tree, where I probably ended up dozing for a bit, but would wake up, see it was still dark, hear the music, and be so happy the night could keep going like that.”

“In the morning, I stoked the fire, grabbed more cocoa, and made our traditional morning pillsbury orange rolls and waited for everyone else to get up. So much fun because it really stretched out my favorite part of Christmas (Eve) and let me enjoy everything with no distractions.” ~ RealPwaully

A Precious Gift

“I’ll do two.”

“Childhood: I was 10, it was Christmas Eve 1996, my dad was dying (it was his last Christmas). He hadn’t lost his voice yet, the cancer hadn’t spread to his throat at this point. We usually did a big Christmas Eve thing with all my mom’s family but this year they left fairly early and we had time as a little family unit to exchange our gifts for each other.”

“I don’t really remember what anyone else got but I do remember that my dad handed me this little box and told me to open it. It was a beautiful white gold charm bracelet with one charm on it, it said my name on one side and the other said Love, Dad Xmas ‘96.”

“He told me he wanted me to fill it with charms from all my travels and adventures. It’s the greatest gift I could ever get. I look at it now and know that my dad loved me. I miss him everyday.”

“Adulthood: I was 30, Christmas 2016. I had started hosting my mom’s side of the family on Christmas Eve a few year before but this was definitely the best. I rearranged my furniture to make sure everyone could fit in our little townhouse. My house was full of delicious smells from cooking all of our family staples for Christmas Eve dinner and the smell of the tree.”

“Everyone showed up on time, there was zero family drama, everyone had an awesome time and left by 10. Christmas Day we went to my husband’s parents’ house and celebrated with his family and his grandparents.”

“It’s also his mom’s birthday that day, she used to make us spend all of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with her which left no time for my family. This was the first year she didn’t have a hissy fit that we weren’t with them Christmas Eve even though we had been doing it that way for a few years already.”

“It was a good memory.” ~ mirandawg

A Mother’s Love

“My fondest memory as a child is when we had Christmas away from home because my mom’s dad was dying. It was maybe a week or so before Christmas and suddenly my mom said we had to go to Arizona because her dad wasn’t doing well.”

“I didn’t see my grandpa often and he didn’t speak English, but he was always kind to me. As a kid, I was bummed that we were not going to be home for Christmas.”

“He passed and mom was very sad. It was hard for me to process the feelings as a child.”

“I remember Christmas Eve was lackluster since it was at my dad’s mom’s house (she was distant and cold to us grandkids.) I was bummed because I thought Santa wasn’t going to find us.”

“Come Christmas morning there were a bunch of presents under the tree. I got a pet robot dog, which had me so happy because my parent’s never let me have a dog despite always asking.”

“Now that I’m older, I appreciate what my mom did. She was going through a very hard time in her life. She lost her mom when she was 3, so losing her dad was a tremendous loss for her.”

“Despite all this, she made sure that we had a good Christmas with presents. I remember being in disbelief that Santa found us, and she told me that she let Santa know where we would be so he can bring our presents.” ~ FoxPaws26

Magical Morning

“When I was in kindergarten, my parents used to decorate the entire house for Christmas overnight while I was sleeping unawares. I remember going to sleep as usual, with the home as usual, and then waking up into what only could be described in my little mind then as magic.”

“I remember running back and forth to the pretty candles and runner on the side table, to admiring the garlands along the staircase rails—giddy with excitement.” ~ Reddit

The Joy Of Giving

“When I was in high school the history teachers all did a toy and food drive for Christmas. They had a friendly competition of whose class would donate the most.”

“I told my Mom about it and for some reason she decided to go all out. We went to the Walmart toy department and filled up a whole cart. Then we went to the grocery store and did the same.”

“When I came to school the next day I felt like Santa Claus himself with my sacks full of toys and food. I got there early so my classmates wouldn’t see but my teacher happened to be there early too. The look on his face was priceless.”

“Needless to say we won!” ~ Badw0IfGirl

The Best Meal He Ever Ate

“Christmas was on a Sunday. My brother is a pastor, and for our families, Sunday meant church. We decided to have our Christmas celebration (presents, the big dinner, etc) on Monday.”

“For Sunday dinner, I was making a huge lasagna (Monday’s feast would be the traditional turkey with all the fixings). We were staying in the area for a short time before relocating for my husband’s military assignment, so we didn’t know many people.”

“My brother called me and told me that a sick elderly woman named Jean (who used to attend the church and whom he frequently visited) was at home, very near death, and her husband (Al) was keeping vigil by her side, with the hospice nurse coming by daily to administer pain meds. The woman had been a faithful church member when she was younger, before the cancer, but her husband was known to be a cantankerous old grump who had never darkened the door of the church.”

“My brother asked if, since I was making this big lasagna, would I make a smaller pan for Al. Of course. My husband and I started planning, and I called Al to arrange to stop by and drop the lasagna off on our way to church. This was all quite sudden; it was Christmas Eve early afternoon.”

“Al answered the phone, and I introduced myself as his wife’s pastor’s sister. My brother had told Al to expect our call and told Al that we were new to the area, and that my husband was in the Navy, just as a sort of introduction. I told Al that I was making a lasagna and would like to bring it by in the morning.”

“Well, Al exploded. ‘You’re making a what?’, he yelled. ‘A lasagna’, I repeated. ‘An Italian pasta dish with meat and sauce and cheese’.”

“Al shouted and I held the phone away from my ear. ‘I thought that preacher guy said your husband was in the Navy. Is he a Nazi? I don’t want any %($)@ Mexican food. It’s Christmas, for (@(#’s sake. Why are you asking to make me Mexican Nazi food?’”

“I was stunned. Mexican? Nazi? That’s quite a stretch from lasagna. I didn’t know what to say.”

“Then Al spoke, sternly, spitting out every word. ‘I want a turkey dinner. And gravy. And it better have NO LUMPS. And cranberry sauce. The kind with NO LUMPS. And carrots. The ones cut into round shapes, cooked nice and soft. [my husband silently mouthed to me ‘with NO LUMPS’ and I almost lost it at that point]. And mashed potatoes. With NO LUMPS. You can come at 9 tomorrow morning. GOOD BYE!’ and he slammed the phone down.”

“I looked at my husband, my red-haired Navy husband, and just said ‘Mexican? Nazi? No lumps? A whole turkey dinner? What did we just get into?’ It was now 3 pm Christmas eve.”

“We ran to the car and drove to the supermarket which was closing at 5 pm. There were no turkeys. None. We frantically scanned aisles, and at one point we considered buying frozen tv dinners and re-constructing them to pretend they were homemade.”

“But we couldn’t bring ourselves to do that. This would be Al’s last Christmas, last dinner with his wife of almost 60 years.”

“Then, in the corner of the meat department, I saw a little package among the beef roasts. Could it be a turkey? It had that familiar yellow packaging. Someone must have picked it up, then set it down far from the poultry.”

“It was as if an angel was guarding it. It was a fresh, not frozen, 3 pound hotel-cut turkey breast! I grabbed it like it was a fumbled football that I had to pounce on.”

“A quick run around the store like we were in a race followed, and we soon had potatoes, carrots, jellied cranberry sauce, and sadly, a jar of gravy which we would ordinarily never use, but as my husband kept hissing into my ear every ten seconds ‘no lumps!’ we settled for jarred gravy.”

“The two of us were giggling like fools. We found a nice silver-colored plastic serving tray, and some inexpensive serving bowls that didn’t look like cheap plastic storage tubs, and a pretty little votive candle. Then we raced home to cook.”

“At 9 the next morning, we showed up to Al and Jean’s home, with a tray bearing a beautiful roasted turkey breast, a dish of gravy (LUMP-FREE), mashed potatoes (NO LUMPS), nicely sliced cranberry sauce, perfectly sliced carrots cooked soft and drizzled with butter, a Christmas cookie, and the candle.”

“Al glanced at everything and said not one single word, not even ‘hello’. I asked if I could see Jean, and he nodded. Jean was laying in a rented hospital bed, seemingly unaware of everything, breathing quietly. I set the votive candle (unlit, but in a pretty container) next to her bed and whispered ‘merry Christmas Jean’ and quietly left.”

“Al said nothing. His expression was mean and sneering. He stared at my husband, and I’m sure he was wondering how this handsome man in a United States Navy uniform somehow thought that Mexican Nazi food would be appropriate for Christmas.”

“Al’s eyes narrowed as he suspiciously looked us both over. We told him goodbye and left in fear before he could inspect the meal for lumps. Al had not muttered one single syllable.”

“We heard nothing more, as shortly after that we moved to another Navy base. But about three months later, I got a phone call from a lady who attended the church.”

“She told me ‘I just had the strangest thing happen. I ran into Al at the hardware store. What a mean man he is. But I felt sorry for him and I greeted him’.”

“‘I don’t know if you heard, but Jean died shortly after midnight on Christmas, and Al has been a recluse in the house since then. But he had an errand to do, and when I expressed my condolences, he told me the strangest story. He said that “that preacher” (my brother) asked someone to make him a Christmas dinner’.”

“He said the preacher told him it was his sister, but she’s married to some Mexican and that the dinner was going to be some kind of Nazi food. I thought Al was crazy, but then he described the meal that he got’.”

“‘He remembered everything—the perfect turkey, the smooth gravy and potatoes, the sliced carrots just the way he liked them. And then, his face softened and the mean ugly sneer disappeared’.”

“‘And quietly, without a single curse word, he leaned over and whispered to me: “it was the best meal I ever had, and I ate it beside Jean’s bed and I told her how everything tasted. And I sat there until she died. I don’t know who made it, but that preacher said it was his sister. He’s a liar. But it was the best dinner I ever ate”‘.”

“The woman continued ‘I know you and your husband made the meal, because at the funeral, your brother told me that you had brought a meal to Al the day Jean died. I have no idea where he got the idea you’re married to a Mexican Nazi, but I thought you’d want to know that it was the best Christmas meal ever’.” ~ eb04

May this year bring the happiest of holiday memories for you and yours.

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Memes to Blast You Directly into the Past

I’ve always loved the term “yesteryear.” Though I’ve often wondered if it’s supposed to mean literally last year, a recent year, or just some vaguely romantic notion of the past.

Of course, words only mean things based on how we use them, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me when I looked it up and found the definition literally included all three connotations.

With that in mind, I hope you’ll enjoy being blasted right back into yesteryear, via these nostalgic memes.

13. The sacred arts

“But I was saying ‘honk shoe’ and everything!”

Via: The Chive

12. The rat

Why you gotta tell on me like that?

Via: The Chive

11. The situation room

You gotta get in there and make ’em understand.

Via: The Chive

10. Decisions, decisions

There are ancient rites of divination that must be passed down.

Via: The Chive

9. Latchkey kids

How did more of us not die?
Or did it just not make the news?

Via: The Chive

8. Now that’s sharp

The ultimate quest in uselessness.

Via: The Chive

7. The sick day

Price is right can stay, the rest is garbage.

Via: The Chive

6. Choose your fighter

Are you a decent soul like Yoshi or some Wario sociopath?

Via: The Chive

5. Caught on tape

Keeping tapes properly labeled was a feat no one on earth could achieve.

Via: The Chive

4. And that man was…

Mr. Feeeeeeeeeeny!

Via: The Chive

3. True fear

“Oh cool, so this is how it ends.”

Via: The Chive

2. The hate you give

She had a part to play and she played it well.

Via: The Chive

1. So catchy

On the playground is where I spent most of my days…

Via: The Chive

Man. Yesteryear really was something.

What are you most nostalgic for right now?

Tell us in the comments.

The post Memes to Blast You Directly into the Past appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share What They Really Wanted as Kids That Seems Crappy Now That They’re Adults

Did you ever want something when you were young and when you got a little bit older, you thought to yourself, “actually, that sounds pretty terrible”?

I’m sure you have, because we all do that.

Hey, you’re not gonna want the same things in life when you’re 12-years-old AND when you’re 25, ya know?

What did you really want as a kid that just seems downright sh*tty now?

Here’s how AskReddit users responded.

1. Not into it anymore.

“Like 40 dogs. Inside.

Little me thought it would be a wonderland.

Adult me just sees the food bills, vet bills, smells and maintenance.”

2. Dreaming of horses.

“A horse.

A really pretty dappled gray with a long wavy mane and big dark eyes. And he would run right up to the fence to greet me and beg to go for a ride, and riding him would be my whole job because someone would pay me to do it, and I’d have a big house and a nice clean barn and a covered arena and acres upon acres of green pastures.

Man, I was a stupid little kid. Can’t even afford a second cat right now, let alone a privacy fence between my yard and the neighbor’s. Acres of land, my *ss.”

3. No more swords!

“A collection of sharpened, combat ready swords.

Katanas, longswords, claymores, falchions, cutlasses, I wanted to own all of them. Not just prop swords either, gotta be the real deal.

As an adult, I realize that 1) having a bunch of swords is pointless, and 2) unless it is a legit collection of historical pieces, it comes off as pretty trashy.”

4. Pretty expensive.

“A pool, as a kid I was always jealous of my neighbours because they had one. I now realise that a pool is basically a really expensive pet.

It needs your constant attention and, if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can kill it.

The cost of maintenance alone was enough of a turn off for me.”

5. Didn’t work out.

“From watching Spongebob, I used to think being a fry cook was the coolest thing ever.

Then I actually got a job as a fry cook and it was the shi*ttiest thing ever, with low wages and borderline abusive management.”

6. This still sounds amazing to me.

“I wanted a moat around my house, filled with alligators, and you had to get across on a rope swing.

There would be a drawbridge, but only my grandma would be allowed to use it cuz I liked my grandma.”

7. No, thank you!

“Tons of snow. I loved snow days.

As an adult it’s anxiety inducing.

Wondering if you will get in trouble for calling out of work, childcare and how to get the car out of the d*mn snow.

It’s too much.”

8. FAME.

“To be extremely famous.

I believe that if I were to ever achieve fame I would want it to be for something in my career or if I had an insane talent. Otherwise, I feel like I am unworthy of fame.

Even now, I like to edit videos for youtube and while I could be a YT I can’t ever want to be EXTREMELY “famous”, I’d like to be underrated but still seen.

I wouldn’t want to be in shows, or how other young people who are famous in media are unless it was similar to my brand.”

9. How much is this gonna cost?

“A car.

I was never a “cars” boy, but I did have the sort of understanding a car was a necessity. Now that I have one, I realize that these things are a constant tug-o-war between great convenience, and massive money-drain.

Anytime something goes wrong, I can’t help but dread what I imagine will be a major money sink.”

10. It’s not fair!

“To be an adult.

Too many responsibilities and obligations and bills and… just f*ck it all.

When you’re a kid you spend all your time wanting to be an adult.

When you become an adult you keep wanting to go back to being a kid.”

11. Probably a lot of work.

“A monkey.

There were a lot of movies and TV shows on when I was growing up where they featured monkeys that people dressed up like babies.

They just fit into the family somewhere between babies and pets.

WTH was I thinking?”

12. No TVs in the bedroom!

“A TV in my room.

As an adult, I can’t stand having a TV in the bedroom.”

How about you?

What did you think looked awesome as a kid that seems pretty sh*tty these days?

Talk to us in the comments. Thanks a lot!

The post People Share What They Really Wanted as Kids That Seems Crappy Now That They’re Adults appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Share the Strange Things They Believed as Kids

Think back to when you were just a little kid…

If you can remember, you probably recall that you thought about AND believed all kinds of weird stuff. Don’t try to deny it!

What strange things do you believe when you were a kid?

Let’s see what people had to say about this.

1. Don’t touch those!

Or else…

2. I’m getting bigger!

I would be a giant by now.

3. What do you mean I don’t need them?!?!

That is bad news…

4. Eat the crust.

Never skip it!

5. You’re in for a big surprise.

It could go any way!

6. That’s why it’s called a “restroom”.

Now I want one of these.

7. That’s a racist song!

Oh, wait…never mind.

8. Not for everyone…

I don’t think I could pull that off.

9. Looking up to the sky.

That’s a big boat.

10. That’s one huge conveyor belt.

Kids sure do think funny, huh?

11. The woman in the toaster.

Well, isn’t that adorable?!?!

12. Worried about the “holey” priests.

What’s gonna happen to them?!?!

13. Three big things.

I really like the one about the sting rays.

Now we want to hear from you.

Yeah, you!

In the comments, tell us about the strange things that you believed when you were a kid. Thanks in advance!

The post People Share the Strange Things They Believed as Kids appeared first on UberFacts.

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What Scares You as an Adult That Didn’t Bother You as a Youngster? Here’s What People Said.

It’s pretty interesting how our fears and worries change as we get older.

When you’re young and you think you’re invincible, all the scary stuff out there just seems to roll off your back. And then you get a little bit older and you get a little more worried about, well…everything.

Does this sound familiar to you?

Folks on AskReddit talked about the things that scare them as adults that didn’t bother them much when they were young. Let’s take a look.

1. Not as much fun anymore.

“Signs of aging.

When you’re a kid, getting older means new and exciting changes.

When you’re in your 30s and older, it means far less fun things.”

2. Life is hard.

“Needing help or advice. I’m a grown adult now, 34, and my mom and dad have since passed on.

When I run into a problem with an appliance or a home repair or need help with a recipe, it always takes me a minute to remember they aren’t here anymore.

Really sucks having no one to lean on when things get hard. My mom used to just give me $100 without question when I’d be hard up for money. No more bank-of-mom. if I run out of money now I’m just f*cked until payday.”

3. Slow down!

“Traveling in a car, especially if I’m not the one driving.

7 year old me: Man it’s amazing how many adults are smart enough to run hundreds of cars around the city going super fast and not hit each other!

Adult me: uhhhhhhh….”

4. Be careful.

“Jumping down from a height greater than a few feet.

As a kid I could jump off a roof and roll with it, nowadays if I land funny I fear I’ll be paralyzed for life.”

5. Oh God, no!

“A tooth falling out. As a kid it was gross, funny and painful all at once. As an adult, horrifying.

My dentist said that a couple of my teeth are “a little mobile.” Then he said it’s nothing to really worry about, as if hearing “teeth” and “mobile” in the same sentence is ever good.”

6. A fact of life.

“When you are a child, you see for parents mortality as something so far away and that eventually you will be prepared

But it’s never the case, recently my grandmother died after a long disease and what it strike me the most was the reaction from my mom, she said “no somos nada”, “we are nothing”, she was devastated and then it comes to my mind, one day I would be the one on her shoes and she will be on the coffin.

The hard part is that, that is the best result, that you bury your parents not the other way around.”

7. Protect your noggin.

“Head injuries.

As a kid, I thought broken bones were the big thing to worry about, because I could visualize what that was; I had no sense for the severity of brain injuries.

As an adult, protecting my noggin is my number one injury concern, because the human machine don’t work with a damaged processor.”

8. Time is precious.

“Lack of time.

As a kid, felt like I had all the time in the world.

As an adult, I feel like I have no time to do anything other than work.”

9. EVERYTHING.

“I bought a house a couple years ago. Literally everything scares me now.

It’s raining? Probably gonna flood the basement.

Windy? Tree’s gonna fall on the house.

Weird smell? Probably an electrical fire.

Leave the house for literally 5 minutes? Obviously going to explode due to a gas leak.”

10. Not a thrillseeker anymore.

“Roller coasters.

I used to ride them all summer long because I had a six flags summer pass. I went a few years ago with my younger sister. It wasn’t fun anymore. I just kept feeling like I was going to die.

I ended up holding purses, and keeping my feet on the ground. I never understood why my mom would just wait for me, but I get it now.”

11. Yeah, pretty scary.

“I had no fear of U-Hauls until I rented a U-Haul.

I filled out all of my information online and they gave me the keys to a 27 foot box truck. No training. No anything. They’ll just let anyone take these massive vehicles and drive them off the lot.

Give them a wide berth.”

12. Aging.

“Honestly, just getting older. I’m only 36 but I just don’t want to be an “old person.” I fear my daughter is already starting to see me that way, but I do everything I can to fight it.

One disc in my back is permanently injured from a car wreck 12 years ago, one knee is bad from playing with a nephew 14 years ago.

I want to be the strong hero my daughter needs as she grows up but I fear these will really catch up to me in the coming years.”

13. Under the knife.

“Anesthesia.

As a kid, I was led to believe that it was something magical that happened to you when you got your tonsils out, and then afterwards, you could eat all the ice cream you wanted!

Now that I’ve had it as an adult and know that there’s always a possibility it could go horribly wrong, I get really antsy and scared just thinking about it.”

14. Avoid it if possible.

“Anything related to going to the hospital.

When I was a kid, I was always in the emergency room with a deep cut or broken bone. Now that I realize it isn’t as “free” as I thought it was when I was a kid, I’ll make any excuse to not go to the hospital.

Case in point, my wife (before we were married) went to the ER with severe abdominal pains and found out she had an infection in her gallbladder. So they removed it.

Her hospital bill, because she went “out of network” and had an ER visit, was over $80,000. Meanwhile, I probably would have just died because I would have crunched down a hundred Immodium before visiting the hospital.”

Now it’s your turn.

In the comments, tell us what scares you as an adult that didn’t scare you as a youngster.

We can’t wait to hear your stories. Thanks!

The post What Scares You as an Adult That Didn’t Bother You as a Youngster? Here’s What People Said. appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Admit What Didn’t Bother Them as Kids but Scares Them as Adults

When you’re young, you really don’t think a whole lot about your safety and things that might potentially harm you.

And I have a pretty embarrassing example of something that I’m super cautious about now that I wouldn’t have given a second thought to when I was younger: driving at night.

I used to not even consider what could be around the next bend in the road when I was 18 or so, but now that I’m older, I find myself driving like a 90-year-old when I have to venture out after dusk. What happened to me?!?!

AskReddit users admitted what scares them as adults that didn’t bother them when they were young.

1. Old bones.

“I miss feeling like a human rubber band when I do active things.

I’m still pretty athletic and I stay in good shape, but after one or two sports knee injuries in high school I could no longer fall on my body any way I wanted.”

2. What’s gonna go wrong today?

“Owning a home.

I am only slightly exaggerating when I say that I wake up every day fully expecting some new and expensive catastrophe to unfold.”

3. The deep.

“Deep water.

I learnt to swim in it by essentially jumping into a pool on holiday as all the other kids were in the pool and didn’t want to be left out.

Now for some reason, if I’m in water and it reaches my chest I’m struck by an absolute rising sense of dread, my breathing gets shallow and I feel so uneasy and upset I have to get into shallower water to be calm again.”

4. Time flies by.

“The reality of how fleeting life is.

And I don’t mean in the cliché “live life to the fullest!”

I mean in the way that life really does pass quickly. I’m 3 years into college and I still feel like I graduated high school last year. Every now and then someone will mention the new class graduating and I have no idea who they are. Or when people I graduated with come into my work and it hits me: I haven’t seen them in three years.

When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to grow up, to live on my own, travel, see the world, have a bunch of friends, have a real job.

Now life is real. And it’s passing quick. And realities are starting to set in that in order to do all the things I want to do while I’m young, I better have an excellent paying job. Because time is passing and it isn’t waiting for me.”

5. Very true.

“The older I get the more I realize that very few people have a clue of how to actually do their job, raise a family, or simply being a good member of society.

I’m in my mid twenties, almost done with medical school, and I don’t think I will be mentally or finanically ready to raise kids until I’m in my thirties. My parents had us when they just turned 20. Like wtf, they had no idea how to raise kids, they probably just winged that sh*t and I’m just thankful they didn’t irreversibly f*ck me up.

Or the George Carlin quote about thinking how stupid the average person is. And then realizing that half of the population is even dumber than that. How it’s baffling that our unemployment rate is <5% and that somehow almost all of those people have jobs and that someone somewhere thought “yeah, I’ll hire this person, they seem like they’re more qualified than everyone else.”

The implication being that more than half of the workforce isn’t as good at their job as they could be, and that a huge portion of the world is ran by complete idiots.

Not to mention how uneducated the average person is when it comes to civic duties like voting. Compared to the average joe, I think I probably read way more news articles, history books, and discuss things with my best friend who is a US politics professor; and I still feel like I’m uneducated when it comes to voting for the right candidate.”

6. Frayed nerves.

“Performance anxiety!

I was in theatre as a kid/teen, was in sports tournaments, enjoyed class presentations, and even did some public speaking, and never had any issue getting up in front of people. Even when I would mess up occasionally in front of an audience it didn’t bother me.

Then in college a switch flipped. I did a handful of variety shows in college, and used to perform the national anthem in college at our university sports games. I still remember the first time I ever experienced performance anxiety–I was about 21, and going to perform the national anthem at a volleyball game and I felt it, but it didn’t impact my performance.

Later that year, I was singing a solo tune in a variety show and my music cut out and it flipped me out so bad that I had to stop the performance, which was a gamechanger–I’d never had an issue adhering to “the show must go on” even when things go wrong.

And for the first time in my life, my final presentation of university racked my nerves so bad that it impacted my ability to speak and concentrate so bad that I thought I’d fail the presentation, especially because that professor had seen successful presentations from me before.

Nowadays I get flipped out even giving casual presentations in front of my (small) company. I’d do variety show performance again though!”

7. Bad drivers everywhere.

“Driving.

Each time I go out onto the road I get more and more scared to go back. I’m only 19. How is 90% of this species so reckless that they can manage to scare a 19 year old off the road?

The reason I pay so much extra for insurance is because I’m supposed to be the one doing that, but all middle aged-senior citizens that think they own every inch of the road are beating me to it.”

8. Losing it.

“Losing my mind.

My grandfather had dementia and my grandmother had Alzheimers, they both went through their respective illnesses at the exact same time and to watch them slowly lose themselves was so depressing.

I’m not too worried about what happens to my body, I just dont want to lose my mind, I dont want to forget.”

9. Way up high.

“Heights.

When I was a kid I could run along the edges of tall wharfs and the sides of cliffs without a second thought. Even when I was in my early twenties my friends and I used to hang out on the roof of a 30 story building and pretend push each other off for laughs.

Now even thinking about it gives me anxiety. Even worse thinking that my kid might do the same.”

10. Twisters.

“Tornadoes.

I got stuck driving in a tornadic storm in 1996 (I think it was later determined to be a… down draft maybe it’s called?) in New Hampshire of all places.

Started a thunderstorm phobia that was getting better until I was 22 and ran into (in a car again) what was called the Worst Thunderstorm in New Brunswick History. 2 am outside a closed gas station on an open highway, in a small ford escort which rumbled and shook as lightning was striking right beside us.”

11. A scary thought.

“Home invasions.

It’s my worst nightmare… as a Brit I respect all you Americans who don’t f*ck about when it comes to protecting your families if anyone dares step foot in your house.”

12. No more bills!

“Mail.

As a kid it was always pleasant, a comic, a letter from grandma, you get the idea.

Now everything in the mail is either a bill or taxes.”

13. You’re not alone on that one.

“Clowns.

They’re my absolute worst fear and I didn’t used to be scared of them, but when I got to be a teenager suddenly I was TERRIFIED of them.

It’s so bad sometimes that I physically cannot go places if I know a clown will be there.”

14. Beware of the deep.

“The ocean!

I LOVED swimming in the beach, jumping off big boats into the unknown and just water overall but now that I know what could be lurking in the water I’m terrified!”

How about you?

What are you scared of now that didn’t bother you when you were a kid?

Talk to us in the comments. We’d love to hear from you!

The post People Admit What Didn’t Bother Them as Kids but Scares Them as Adults appeared first on UberFacts.

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People Talk About the Harmless Things That Scared Them as Children

It’s true…I was a pretty scared kid.

And one of the things that REALLY terrified me was the dentist. I dreaded when my Mom told me I’d be going to the dentist the following week. That meant a whole week of not sleeping, worrying, and having nightmares about that appointment.

I don’t know when things changed, but now I love going to the dentist! You get those pearly whites cleaned and walk out there feeling like a million bucks!

So, basically, I eventually realized it was harmless.

Let’s dig into these stories from AskReddit users about things that scared them when they were kids.

1. Sharks!

“Sharks in the swimming pool.

Could be 3 feet deep and I was still terrified Jaws was just gonna leave only my trunks floating in the water.”

2. Run for it!

“Turn off the lights to the basement and then running up the stairs.”

3. Me, too.

“The concept of eternity.

I was raised Christian and was terrified of the idea of spending forever in either heaven or hell.

Forever sounded scary.”

4. Creepy…

“I know this sounds odd, but water heaters, boiler tanks, etc. in cellars and basements. I have no idea why.

They looked like monsters to me when I was little.”

5. Hahaha.

“Mascots!

Like the people that dress up in those costumes that are fuzzy and have giant heads? TERRIFIED me. Literally I would crawl up my dad and bawl my eyes out.

One time at an amusement park a guy dressed up as yogi bear kept coming towards me despite my terrified screams, and my dad almost had to kick yogi bears *ss. True story.

I’m 25 and they still spook me. I keep my distance…”

6. Too many horror flicks.

“Could not sleep with my closet door open.

I saw way too many movies with scary things in the closet, so I figured a shut door guaranteed my safety.

I was a weird kid.”

7. Biggest fears.

“My three biggest fears as a small child:

  • Leaves. One came down out of a tree and hit me in the face when I was 3, and freaked me out.
  • “Heat Monsters”. My parents house had electric heat and the radiators would make these weird crackling sounds that I thought were monsters in the heater
  • E.T. F*ck E.T. and his stupid glowing finger and stretchy neck. I was especially frightened by white E.T. when he was dying.”

8. Logos.

“The Pep Boys logo.

Or really any mascot that included a stylized person with glasses but no eyes to be found behind the glasses.

Freaked me tf out!”

9. Snipers.

“As a kid, I was afraid of a sniper shooting me through the window.

I was afraid they would be able to see me through the gap on the window shade that allowed a thin band of sunlight into my room during the day.

I used to tape my window shades to the sides of the actual window to close the crack.”

10. Same here.

“Getting on and off escalators.

I thought I’d slip getting on and scrape myself on the edge and need stitches.

Or get my shoelace stuck at the bottom and trip and need stitches.

Also, stitches.”

11. Just couldn’t do it.

“Talking to adults, especially cashiers.
I begged my mom for ice cream once when I was about 6, sitting at McDonalds. She said Sure! I got all excited. Then she handed me a $5 bill and told me to go get it. I think that was my first ever panic attack.

My heart started racing like a hamster on crack and I just kinda sank back into my seat and said “actually never mind I dont want ice cream anymore””

12. That’s strange…

“Ladybugs.

Instead of the monster under the bed, I thought that a million ladybugs would come out from under my bed in a wave when I came back from the bathroom at night.

I also thought they would crawl up the wall my bed was against unless I was looking at it.”

13. Slimmy little creatures.

“Slugs – still am terrified.

Poor things, they are the most “minding my own business” “harming no one” creatures that decorate the streets with their squished guts and it made me so sad seeing it. but they still terrify me.

I’d find them just chilling in bathroom n I’d need to scream for my dad so he can gently pick them up and put them in the garden.”

14. Don’t look at it!

“The moon.

I watched the Thriller video and was convinced that staring up at a full moon would turn me into a werewolf.”

15. I remember those things.

“The rubber chicken that had an egg in water when you squeezed it.

I always thought it would hatch one day and the baby chicken would eat me so I took it outside and tied it to the garage door.

Crazy times.”

What scared you as a kid? Talk to us in the comments!

We’d love to hear from you!

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People Talk About the Dumb Things They Believed as Kids

The thoughts of children can be beautiful, pure, open, strangely insightful …and incredibly stupid.

An AskReddit thread on dumb stuff people thought as kids turned into a goldmine of twisted reasoning and childhood confusion. Here’s some highlights.

16. In some cases, this might be true

I used to think that once you finished a grade in primary school you became smarter than the teacher of that grade.

15. From Jim to Jimmothy

That I would have to change my name when I grew up.

I don’t know why, but I thought my name was suitable for a child but definitely not for an adult, and I couldn’t imagine (being) an adult with my name.

I even talked to my mother about it, saying that at some point we’d eventually have to go to court to have it changed to something more “adult-sounding”.

14. Wait, is that not the case?

That if you drink while peeing you’ll keep peeing until you stop drinking.

13. Still less disturbing than the Cats movie

When I was really young, I was convinced I was pregnant (I’m a man btw), with a baby cat named Bridget.

I went on believing it for about 5 months (that’s how long little me thought cat pregnancy lasted), and then when the baby never came, I went to my mom and asked when Bridget would be born, she finally told me that boys can’t get pregnant and humans can’t give birth to cats.

I was traumatized.

12. The richest kid in the world

That all companies with a ‘TM’ (Trademark) were owned by my family, only because those are my initials.

11. It’s not in Kansas anymore…

I was very very young and I blame wizard of oz but I believed that a tornado was just one big phenomenon that continuously happened and spun from state to state country to country.

I also live in the south so we have frequent tornado warnings so I vaguely remember a time we had two or three warnings in one week and I was scared the “single tornado” would come to our town and never go away.

10. I’m sorry, what?

I was under the impression that there were tiny rats that lived inside of my stomach and when they ran in their wheels for exercise it would make me need to pee.

9. Like a Flintstones TV

That there’s a tiny human inside the TV who executed what the remote was telling him to do.

For example, when you press the button to increase the volume, he is being hit in a specific way that let’s him know that he has to go and manually increase the volume.

8. Like a Russian nesting doll

I thought that there would be a baby inside every girl’s stomach as soon as she is born and inside that baby’s stomach too there would be a tiny baby(the cycle goes on and on)and that the baby keeps growing as we grow and after getting married the doctors will cut the stomach and take the baby out to make space for another baby.

7. I’ve gotta admit to this one too. *facepalm*

That the Underground Railroad was a literal secret underground subway style steam engine that Harriet Tubman was the conductor of.

6. Its’a me…your worst nightmare

I thought if you left a video game on then a character would come out of the tv and kill you.|

I was a bit paranoid as a small kid.

5. Parents can’t have parents

Grandparents were assigned to families.

Like, I didn’t know my Grandma was my Dad’s mom.

4. A lot of adults still think this…

Own two credit cards and use them to pay for each other for infinite money

3. One ring to bind them

My Dad lost his wedding ring in the Bay during a fishing trip.

I was absolutely inconsolable.

It took my parents quite a while to get me to calm down enough to be able to explain why I was so upset about it.

I thought it meant they were no longer married anymore. Lol.

2. So, you’re an American, then

That beyond my country was nothing.

1. This one’s longer, but worth it

We lived in the country and I was raised on Disney movies. We lived on our imaginations.

The movie ‘The Borrowers’ had just come out and we rented it on VHS. My sister and I must have watched it 20 times. We played games imagining people running around and all these fantastical things. It was great. It passed a lot of time for us.

Enter bed time. I crawl into my little bed, swirls of games in my head, and I notice a strange light in my closet that is directly across from the foot of my bed.

I gingerly crawl out and open my closet to see a small slit in the dry wall.

I press my eye up to it and see A SUN…AND TREES!

HOLY S**T, THE BORROWERS HAVE A WORLD IN MY CLOSET!

I run and get my sister. I show her. We freak out and run downstairs where my father is gently reading his newspaper after a long day of work. My mother is sitting there talking to him when we bust around the corner screaming about a hidden world in the closet.

My father glares at my mother. My mother tells us she will look into it and brings us back to bed and reads us another story to calm us down.

The next night there was no light. The trees were gone. I destroyed the world. I truly thought I had erased this little existence. I was a murderer…

No.

I had seen a slip of my mother’s marijuana closet farm.

My dad made her move it.

Good thing we’re all so much smarter now, huh?

What about you? Did you have any hilariously dumb thoughts as a kid?

Let us know in the comments.

The post People Talk About the Dumb Things They Believed as Kids appeared first on UberFacts.