Category: child development

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Making Children Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Can Seem Meaningless. Try This Instead.

We’ve all seen this, and a lot of us have done it. A small child does something hurtful on accident and, upon a stern look or ‘what do you say?’ from a parent, mutters a quick ‘sorry’ before moving on with whatever they were doing. But while it’s good to teach children manners, are they really learning anything? Are they actually sorry, or are they just doing what’s expected in order to meet as little resistance as possible?

According to Heather Shumaker, the author of It’s OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids, the latter is most likely:

“Young kids sometimes fool us. They can mimic “Sorry” and even cry when another child cries, but most children are not capable of being sorry yet. Children differ – you may have an early bloomer – but most children simply lack the emotional and cognitive development to feel remorse. Remorse requires the ability to take another person’s perspective and fully understand cause and effect. These skills are still emerging in young children. Expecting young kids to say “Sorry” teaches them nothing more than a misguided lesson in sequence: kick, say “Sorry,” move on.”

Okay, so if we’ve been teaching the wrong lesson all this time, what exactly should we be doing to better help children understand until their emotional intelligence matures?

Photo Credit: Pixabay

Shumaker has some ideas on how we can teach them that “sorry” has meaning, and help them understand that all actions have consequences. Namely, these easy steps:

1. Bring the kid back to the scene of the crime.

Children who think they’re going to be in trouble tend to run. Put an arm around them, bring them back, and explain that even if they didn’t mean to do it, someone got hurt so they need to come back.

2. Be specific about what happened.

The child might not have noticed what they did, or might not understand the impact of shoving a shopping cart, etc. Explain it briefly and calmly, ie: “Your shopping cart ran over her toe.” If we expect them to be sorry, they need to first know what they should be sorry for.

3. Describe the consequences.

Since children often don’t have a fully developed sense of empathy, it’s up to us to tell them what the offended party might be feeling, ie: “Look, there’s a scratch on her arm. It must sting.”

Photo Credit: Pixabay

4. Model empathy.

Ask the other child or adult whether they’re okay.

5. Take action to fix the problem.

Your young one might not truly feel bad, but they can help fix things. Ask them to run and get a band-aid, wipes, a cold towel, etc., in order to help.

6. Make a guarantee.

Promising not to do it again means a lot more to a child than a meaningless word like ‘sorry.’ If they promise not to do the offending action again, trust can be more readily re-established.

Photo Credit: Pixabay

7. Let them see you being truly sorry in your own life.

We do want kids to say sorry and mean it, eventually. One good way to prompt the behavior without forcing it is to let your kids see you making sincere apologies in your own life. Make sure to acknowledge the consequences of your mistakes and do your best to make things better.

As a parent, I love this advice and the notion that kids can learn how to genuinely realize they’ve done something wrong and take steps to make it right, as opposed to being forced to say something they don’t feel or understand. I’m planning to try it soon!

h/t: Offspring.lifehacker.com

The post Making Children Say ‘I’m Sorry’ Can Seem Meaningless. Try This Instead. appeared first on UberFacts.

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If Your Child Is a Mouth Breather, It Could Be a Sign of Medical Troubles to Come

There are a lot of mouth breather jokes out there – the funny bit being that people who never learned to breathe out of their noses are odd – and it turns out that there’s actually some science to back that up.

So, if your children spend more time with their mouths open than closed, you might want to start thinking of it as a problem you want to address, rather than no big deal.

In fact, Dr. Anil Rama has some dire warnings about letting mouth breathing go on unchecked.

“Mouth breathing, especially occurring at a young age, changes the development of a person’s face. It makes their face long, chin recessed, nose drop, nostrils flare, teeth crooked, and smile gummy. It also leads to cavities, bad breath, bad sleep, and a miserable personality.”

Well, okay then.

But while it might seem like Rama is being overly harsh, there is evidence – lots of it – to suggest that kids who breath through their mouths most of the time are more likely to struggle in school, cry at night, grow at a slower rate, be moody, and even have larger tonsils than kids who breathe out of their nose.

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C O R R E C T. way to B R E A T H E . Breathing comes so naturally to us that we don’t normally stop and think about how it’s done and whether we’re doing it right or not. But the reality is, being a ‘Nose Breather’ or a ‘Mouth Breather’ will determine how we look, feel and function. (Refer to diagrams). As you can see, the correct way to breathe is through the nose, where this allows the mouth to rest in the correct position for correct jaw and facial developments. Whereas, breathing through your mouth causes recession of the jaw, a longer face, teeth crowding due to lack of palatal seal and incorrect tongue position. So take a moment. Take a breath. Are you a mouth breather or are you a nose breather? Not sure? Come in and have one of our specialist for an assessment. – – – – – – – #smiledentistry #braces #toothalignment #mouthbreather #nosebreather #breathing #takeabreath #orthodontics #teethstraightening #adultbraces #childrenbraces #malocclusions #teethstraightening #straighterteeth #smile #healthy #happy #sleep #breathebetter #dentist #dentaloffice #balmain #balmaindentist #holisticdentist #holistichealth #breathoflife

A post shared by Smile Dentistry (@smiledentistry_au) on

As adults, those kids are prone to fatigue, brain fog, and, unfortunately, having a different-looking face.

Basically, using the term “mouth breather” to say that someone seems a bit “off” is accurate (if unkind).

The reason? Breathing through your nose triggers paranasal sinuses that produce nitric oxide, facilitating oxygen circulation throughout the body, helping the lungs absorb oxygen, relaxing muscles, and allowing blood vessels to dilate.

It also has anti-fungal, antiviral, anti-parasitic, and antibacterial properties that boost your immune system and help fight off infections, says Rama.

“Nose breathing is important for cleaning, humidifying, and processing the air for the lungs. It also directly enhances sleep and regulates breathing which helps one remain calm. A lack of nose breathing over time can take a tremendous toll on a person’s mood and mental health….Mouth breathers in general are more irritable, angry, lack patience, are stressed out, forgetful, sleepy, fatigued, and not as happy as they could be.”

If you’re concerned for yourself or a child in your life, talk to a doctor – mouth breathing could be triggered by asthma, allergies, and excessive thumb-sucking and create symptoms like poor behavior, dental issues, lisping, and hoarseness.

The post If Your Child Is a Mouth Breather, It Could Be a Sign of Medical Troubles to Come appeared first on UberFacts.

Posted on

If Your Child Is a Mouth Breather, It Could Be a Sign of Medical Troubles to Come

There are a lot of mouth breather jokes out there – the funny bit being that people who never learned to breathe out of their noses are odd – and it turns out that there’s actually some science to back that up.

So, if your children spend more time with their mouths open than closed, you might want to start thinking of it as a problem you want to address, rather than no big deal.

In fact, Dr. Anil Rama has some dire warnings about letting mouth breathing go on unchecked.

“Mouth breathing, especially occurring at a young age, changes the development of a person’s face. It makes their face long, chin recessed, nose drop, nostrils flare, teeth crooked, and smile gummy. It also leads to cavities, bad breath, bad sleep, and a miserable personality.”

Well, okay then.

But while it might seem like Rama is being overly harsh, there is evidence – lots of it – to suggest that kids who breath through their mouths most of the time are more likely to struggle in school, cry at night, grow at a slower rate, be moody, and even have larger tonsils than kids who breathe out of their nose.

View this post on Instagram

C O R R E C T. way to B R E A T H E . Breathing comes so naturally to us that we don’t normally stop and think about how it’s done and whether we’re doing it right or not. But the reality is, being a ‘Nose Breather’ or a ‘Mouth Breather’ will determine how we look, feel and function. (Refer to diagrams). As you can see, the correct way to breathe is through the nose, where this allows the mouth to rest in the correct position for correct jaw and facial developments. Whereas, breathing through your mouth causes recession of the jaw, a longer face, teeth crowding due to lack of palatal seal and incorrect tongue position. So take a moment. Take a breath. Are you a mouth breather or are you a nose breather? Not sure? Come in and have one of our specialist for an assessment. – – – – – – – #smiledentistry #braces #toothalignment #mouthbreather #nosebreather #breathing #takeabreath #orthodontics #teethstraightening #adultbraces #childrenbraces #malocclusions #teethstraightening #straighterteeth #smile #healthy #happy #sleep #breathebetter #dentist #dentaloffice #balmain #balmaindentist #holisticdentist #holistichealth #breathoflife

A post shared by Smile Dentistry (@smiledentistry_au) on

As adults, those kids are prone to fatigue, brain fog, and, unfortunately, having a different-looking face.

Basically, using the term “mouth breather” to say that someone seems a bit “off” is accurate (if unkind).

The reason? Breathing through your nose triggers paranasal sinuses that produce nitric oxide, facilitating oxygen circulation throughout the body, helping the lungs absorb oxygen, relaxing muscles, and allowing blood vessels to dilate.

It also has anti-fungal, antiviral, anti-parasitic, and antibacterial properties that boost your immune system and help fight off infections, says Rama.

“Nose breathing is important for cleaning, humidifying, and processing the air for the lungs. It also directly enhances sleep and regulates breathing which helps one remain calm. A lack of nose breathing over time can take a tremendous toll on a person’s mood and mental health….Mouth breathers in general are more irritable, angry, lack patience, are stressed out, forgetful, sleepy, fatigued, and not as happy as they could be.”

If you’re concerned for yourself or a child in your life, talk to a doctor – mouth breathing could be triggered by asthma, allergies, and excessive thumb-sucking and create symptoms like poor behavior, dental issues, lisping, and hoarseness.

The post If Your Child Is a Mouth Breather, It Could Be a Sign of Medical Troubles to Come appeared first on UberFacts.