A company invented a “floating tent,” then promptly got roasted by the people of the Internet, which they tend to do.
The Shoal Tent is an inflatable tent that allows you to camp on water instead of on land — an objectively terrible and dangerous idea. This contraption is somewhere between a raft and a boat, both of which already exist. Unlike a raft, this tent is huge and very expensive. And unlike a boat, you can’t steer it away from a waterfall.
Fun!
Mashable published a video showcasing the Shoal Tent on Twitter, where users tore it to shreds.
“Why camp by a river when you can camp on one?” the tweet read.
why live when you can die?
— Nate Bethea (@inthesedeserts) August 17, 2019
In addition to waterfalls, there’s also the danger of puncturing the raft and taking on water, leading to a watery death. Or running into predators, such as bears or alligators.
this is DoorDash for bears https://t.co/U9V2293o9q
— blaine capatch (@blainecapatch) August 18, 2019
Or simply waking up 100 miles away from where you parked. Hilariously, the Shoal Tent boasts that it can “stand up to heavy winds” (by… being pushed around by them?).
This is perfect for those times you'd like to wake up dozens of miles from your car.
— Joe Sturgeon (@jcsturgeon) August 17, 2019
Plus, how do you get out of the tent and back onto land? What happens if you have to pee?
Truly, it seems like the inventors of the floating tent are not at all concerned about what happens after you push off from shore. But even they understand that it could invite emergency scenarios. On the website, there is the somewhat disconcerting disclaimer that you can “get in and out easily through the sides if the need arises suddenly.”
As with all crappy inventions, some people will actually buy and use this product. In fact, it’s currently back-ordered due to popular demand, and there’s a wait time of at least six weeks. It’s available from SmithFly for the hefty price of $1999.
Or you could just “camp on water” in, y’know, ANY other way. Like on a boat.
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